i had a girl in college that was comfortable enough with me that I could directly compliment her (like, O Hi Beautiful) without her getting freaked out which NEVER happened. aaaaaand nope still friendzoned
wherethetatosat you have to make your intentions clear from the beginning you want a romantic relationship not a friendship relationship. It’s scary but that’s usually what happens, romantic interest isn’t conveyed as much as you are feeling, id just suggest flirting more
SleepyPanda simple but effective. Let the girl know you got a pair by letting her know your interested and respect both your and her time. Avoid the sunk time fallacy from the start.
I hate alcohol, plus I don't want a relationship that happened because of me not being the true myself due to being drunk. I consider that relationship fake.
Fr when somebody decides to sit right next to you when there are other seats available takes my mood from a 10 to 3 real quick. Especially if they stink
As an introvert, I approached this girl at the mall, told her I had seen her recently and that she looked adorable. I then said "what's your name?", she said: "it's none of your business". That was the end of it.
Hey Wade, that didn't happen to you because you're an introvert... That happens to my clients of all personality profiles - If you want to learn to approach women successfully, you need to be willing to have lots of rejections and you get better at it. Everyone does unfortunately
Yea, names are pointless, i usually ask names as im leaving... if theres no substance names dont stick, ive known people for years and talk to them everyday, never knowing thier name... besides it being to awkward to ask after so long, names arent necessary... if you pry for personal info so soon, it comes off as prying, to approach is prying, people usually think that people want something from them
@@fattyjaybird7505 No it's not in fact if someone comes up and says sth unless you really get into conversation and forget about then actually not introducing yourself is being a real piece of nasty work with no manners. It's that simple. If a woman is unwilling to give her name I would be unwilling to even hold up conversation. And fact is that the fact that he needs to grow thicker skin doesn't mean that woman is not a piece of rude s**t. It's not okay to be rude cause you are not interested. Saying "My name is XYZ" And then saying something about having a boyfriend is less intrusive. But don't be rude about it also. Just put it in when it's time. Like if you talk about what you enjoy doing or sth
@@jakubrogacz6829 true, yea i agree with you, i was trying to relate to the mindset of someone who does a name refusal... i would definitely say they would be someone i wouldnt want to be around... but i couldnt imagine being a girl that this happens to "all the time" ...
@@fattyjaybird7505 Well while i agree that having to be centre of attention is annoying ( as an introvert in fact it makes me tired as huge hell )... well just don't put on tight clothes and make up then. Just go around looing normal and then it wouldn't happen. Don't go to clubs. Then you will be happy someone asks your name on streets. But most importantly being polite is not about being self serving and comfortable being polite is being good to an asshole because you have a shred of honour. Also as I said most women get attention but also most women fight for attention. And in most cases they try "seduction", let me tell you one thing. Seduction is good when you want someone to start pursuing you. But if you have this guy that you fawn over just move your butt and ask him. If he doesn't want you then you can look for someone that does and if he wants you you lost nothing. Only thing then you must watch is not having sex too early or he will tell you he likes you back to get it if he is popular guy. Also from experience I maybe ever talked to two women on street. most of shy men aren't that much arrogant to try chatting up. It's mostly pickup artists anyway that do so.
@@SchoolOfAttraction The more you think about this the more you'll find inconsistencies in yourself. Women feel much more than us you just need to make her feel good. Gimmicks and tricks don't work. What works is you.
@@davidbolha true. A lot of people from my age want to party in big crowds and drink untill they pass out. I rather go to a nice...more chilled down place to talk and laugh with friends or so
@@matthijsvanemous7046 Well they do say your 30s are the new 20s or something (I'm 36 btw). 😕 I actually prefer solitude more then anything. Always have. Doing tech stuff or watching some good antizionist documentaries or books. 😊
I think it's not that much about spending time alone. It's more about being able to focus. I'm an introvert and for me it doesn't matter if I spend time alone or with a single other person to charge my battery (if I have a connection with that person). Because in both cases I can focus on a single person, on a single subject and can have deep and meaningful conversation (introspective with myself or with the other person). And that is what you're trained to do as an introvert. I think that it just isn't possible to have deep conversation with more than one (or maybe two) other people, it's just not how communication dynamics work.
There is actually another battery too, the introverted extrovert. which charges up his/her social skills by being with people. gradually becoming better with his/hers social skills. but as soon as they are left for themself alot of them has issues putting out all that chargeup, leading to sleep issues and other issues related to relaxing.
The more you think about this the more you'll find inconsistencies in yourself. Women feel much more than us you just need to make her feel good. Gimmicks and tricks don't work. What works is you.
Number 6 us something I discovered as well many years ago. I dated an ultra extrovert for 6 months and I was completely miserable. She wanted to go out every single night and dance every single night. I convinced her to reduce it to once a week and I'm sure it lead to the downfall of our relationship because she was forced to do something she hated which was relax at home with me reading or watching a movie and I was forced to spend hours at a dance club or bar with her and her extroverted, loud friends. I loved her so it was easy to do, but looking back now it was grueling and I didn't feel like I was dating her, I felt like I was "Getting through the day" with her so I could be with her. We eventually broke up over our mutual disdain for each other's life decisions and we both accepted that it was for the best. I have since met more introverted women and it's like night and day. When you meet someone on the same spot on the spectrum as you it's effortless. You don't need to push and pull to get to a place where you are both mildly satisfied because doing the same thing gives you both unlimited energy. Hearing it on this video reminded me of all that. This was a brilliant watch.
Same here, that opened my eyes. Looking back it was good that it happened, so I know what to avoid next time. Glad to hear that more people went through this.
Does it? I just love extroverts. They are everything I'm not. They seems to enjoy life, and I actually want some of that. I feel like we can learn something from each other, and grow in the process... Sorry I'm in love with an extrovert 😅 and I feel, most girls I'm drawn into, are extroverts... Yup, I'm conflicted 😂
@@Fremder14 2 magnets that are exactly the same don't stick together, however opposites attract and bring out both the worst and best of you if you can adapt 👍🏽
That's true but since they spend more time alone than extroverts they're less experienced with social situations so it would make sense that in general they'd be less comfortable and confident in those situations.
The personality test was scarily accurate for such a short quiz. thanks for letting me know that’s it’s impossible to be like an extrovert, I will now work on becoming a manageable introvert!
What's amazing about you is that you encourage people to know themselfs and work with that, building more honest human beings rather than encouraging people to try hard and change who they trully are, which leads to fake people. And frankly, we've had enough of faking by now. So thanks!
I watched so many different guides of how to get women. Now i found the one i need to hear. You're the 1st one who makes a difference between introverts and extroverts. I'am clearly introvert and tried to act like an extrovert. Thank You!
My problem is i can talk to people one day but i cant keep it going for the next few days and we completely loose connection and they begin to believe im just being rude 😆
I need a lot of alone time. That's how I get recharged. I am an introvert. Little did I know that being an introvert makes me seem more trustworthy compared to an extrovert.
That explains why people spill their guts when talking to me. I thought there was just something about me that brought that out in people. I guess it's just I'm very introverted and therefore seem very trustworthy.
Im hella introverted but im hellaaaa confident. I think being an introvert is better for getting woman because they find me mysterious and have respect for me. If I say something they always listen with those big glowing eyes
Same here, i made a girl go from saying " im not interested in having a relationship" to saying "i cant stop thinking about you" "i want to see you and i love you" after having a 2 hours conversation
wow, this is smart. You actually nailed the definition of introvert - bang on! Most thing "introvert" means shy, it doesn't. I'm an outgoing introvert for example. I know shy extroverts. I've come across the dopamine thing recently. I've wondered how to increase mine.
Cheers mate, there are a number of strategies to increase dopamine - but one alternative to consider is to increase dopamine sensitivity instead.. By lowering the frequency of dopamine rushes - things like reducing porn consumption etc.
Thanks for the great video which inspired me to take the personality test. I'm 25 and a lot of what I heard here aligns with some of the best strategies I had to take to learn myself through my own journey. Also, thanks for name dropping Raymond Cattell - This allowed me to do a bit more research into the 16 point personality factor and really understand my results a lot better. The test highlighted Serious, Shy, and Trusting behaviors with the following scores in each trait: Warmth: +15%, Reasoning 0%, Emotional Stability: +33%, Dominance: -14%, Liveliness: -71%, Rule-Conscious: +17%, Social Boldness: -71%, Sensitivity: 0%, Vigiliance: -67%, Abstractedness: -50%, Privateness: 0%, Apprehension: +20%, Openness to Change: +43%, Self Reliance: +43%, Perfectionism: +43%, Tension: 0% This is actually scary accurate and aligns with some other personality testing I've done over the years. For example on Myers Briggs, I'm INTJ in social situations and ENTJ in professional and academic situations. I took Raymond Cattell just trying to be as accurate as I could about any situation and pretty much all of my dominant behaviors showed through. The only thing I don't really see listed is analytical reasoning, but honestly with how accurate everything else is I don't really care. I'll avoid giving you my life story in a TH-cam comment, but will mention that after the research, I did write a self reflection on my results... That is 1,800 words. This is something I try to do each time I research something like this in an attempt to learn something about myself. There's also the fact that once you give the analytical side of my brain a carrot, it will take it and run with it... Anyways, thanks again for the engaging content!
@@SchoolOfAttraction I can definitely see why! It's hard to pull useful information out of a lot of the other tests without getting super deep into them. 16PF just made a ton of sense from the start!
i know that i'm extremely introverted and anti-social. In other words i really like listening to people talk for a little while, but really hate being apart of the conversation. Also small talk doesn't give you much of anything which to me if i don't have a reason to talk i'm not going to talk. I know this is really not good if i want friends because it will be a very one sided friendship which doesn't work out. But i also know if i don't have to care about spending time with anybody i can do things that actually matter to me. Don't take this as i hate people because it don't i just don't like giving my time to people in that way. People also seem to trust me almost instantly without me saying much. When i was in school i use to give roses to all the girls in my class because it made them happy and i also use to be anti-social all thru out school and i never got bullied or picked on, everyone just let me do what i wanted to do, even the teachers. if you managed to actually read this whole thing thanks for the time.
i feel the same, but i motivate myself to learn to small talk and flirt because i now its gonna come in handy one day. and its starting to be great fun. idk
@@AssassinT10 No, it's not rude to me. I live in the United states, Montana more specifically which means it was a smaller school and a smaller town maybe about 500 kids/older kids (k-12). But I think what happened is I wasn't really weird when they talk to me and in elementary I used to give my class everything like I even baked cake/cupcakes all the time for them and expected nothing in return but I just chose not to be apart of the conversations and I guess they respected that, but I'm not sure. This ended up being alot longer than I thought it was going to be.
I really have no idea what I am, and your comment made me even doubt myself more, are there extroverts that are shy and have social anxiety? Because that's exactly how I feel, I really do feel energized talking in a group of people, because i'm quite funny and everyone likes that so whenever a group of people laugh at something funny I say I feel really good and have a good time, sometimes i'm really comfortable talking in a group of friends, but to get to that point it's extremely hard for me, my head always gives me bad thoughts on how I could make a fool of myself in front of everybody, negative thoughts, sometimes I really want to talk and give my opinion, join the conversation, but the words won't come out, i'm extremely nervous and can't get the words out of my mouth, so I end up not saying anything, even tho I really want to participate it's really hard, I find it way easier having just one on one conversations, I feel way more comfortable, so I might be an introvert as well because I like to spend a lot of time on my own, like A LOT, in the jobs i've had I always like to eat alone, people think it's weird because they think i'm an extrovert but I just want to be alone, i'm incredibly introspective, and sometimes when i'm eating with a group of people I don't even get hungry because of the anxiety I have, that's why I just want to be alone and not worry about what people may think and enjoy my food, I don't want to be thinking constantly what to say next or do next, I just want to rest and be alone, in other words, socializing for me is like getting in a pool of really cold water, at first you don't want to, and once you're in in feels like hell, but in a few minutes you get used to it and then you don't even want to get out of the pool, that's how it is for me, you can say I like talking to a lot of people but it gives me anxiety, and at the same time I like being alone for a lot of time and not worry about all of that
I'm a introvert and agree on what he's saying. I've chatted with many women and they enjoy talking with me. They said they feel safe and very comfortable. I also have a sense of humor and they loved my silly to bad jokes.
I hate small talk and usually suck at it big time. For me it's way to shallow and superficial as I could as well walk away. I'm more of an extreme introvert, highly analytical and yet seek deep connection with women. One of my go to questions is "What would you do if money weren't an issue?" It's kind of a filter which sorts out every unfitting woman (in that case most of them). It's interesting how willing women are to hold a deep conversations though. If you get past the introduction it's easier to initiate big talk. I usually use big talk as small talk and those who engage I had deep conversations that lasted hours. Every woman has a topic she could talk for days about it and that's way more interesting than "how do you like the music" or "kinda funny how...".
It is the small talk that leads you to the deep one. Else it is like throwing darts and you are more likely to meet extroverts than introverts that way.
If you want to qualify them; do it later! It's not exactly an ice breaker, But it's definitely a good question later in the conversation. Not sure I'd use that one to qualify people though.
@@TheTinKunt I know right! I'm an introvert also, and it's frustrating to hear so many introverts claim to be great listeners but hate small talk, or want a deep connection but are not a people person, much less sociable. Like most introverts, I'm pretty reserved when I meet someone, so I can't imagine being locked in an hours long conversation after we just met. So what do you do for fun where you live?
GREAT test of whether we're extroverted or introverted, I fall on the spectrum similarly to you, I like both but definitely want the quality 1 on 1 or I feel like I missed out - really interesting video, thanks.
i usually never watch videos like this because i just think they are scam for guys who are lonely.... but i do have to say there was a lot of useful tips in this video. good job!
Well that's only if deep talk is the ONLY thing you do - You still have to create some edge, build some sexual tension etc. Otherwise, yes, you will end up just being a friend for sure.
with all honesty put it this way when you get fz a few times for our introvert personality you learn quickly to lead with the im not looking for new friends when you are dealing with someone you are interested in fz shit gets old and is a wasted energy/time you could do without :D
The real introvert mating/dating strategy is to wait around while she enjoys her life for 10-15 years; be sure to make a lot of money using your introvert ability to actually make and do things. Then you can become a stepdad for a few years before she divorces you and steals your house.
I would argue that once in the friend zone as a introvert who has a connected relationship with said girl . This is perfect circumstance for you to take a step back. Focus on her less. Ghost her on a date. Be aloof about when she questions why you've been distant. All the while talk to other girls if possible. Things might just change and surprise you
Big time introvert here. It's true, folks like me need to recharge with alone time. I can easily spend a weekend totally alone with my cat and my books and not feel weird or lonely in the slightest. It invigorates me. If I feel a real connection with a woman and sense that she's into me I've got no problem escalating. I'm totally calm one on one. Problem for me is I don't like superficial small talk much, nor do I like crowds or even moderate sized groups.
Congrats!!! you're the first PUA to adreess this topic more in depth. Thanks for reasuring many things i had to find out by myself, it makes it much more easy to bealive in your own thoughts by listen to them in someone elses words.
As a doctor i will say the dopamine and Ach information is not correct. But it doesnt affect the video since it has a lot of value in it. Great work as always.
I took a test a couple years ago and I got 99 percent introvert I have been trying to play the extrovert game and I have made progress but it is extremely draining. I find this info to be useful.
"When you're hanging out with friends would you prefer to entertain the whole table or just have a meaningful conversation with one friend?" What am I if I just stare into space and think about movies?
@@asdadfafafafffallslsldd8068 I was joking ido have friends ahah. But im still an introvert. I have 2 faces. With friends i smile etc... The rest of the time i look like a psycho ahah
Really helpful video! It's something they should teach at school to everyone, knowing yourself better and analysing what type of person you are, it can help on so many things in a person life.
From my experience, doesn't matter if you're an introvert or extrovert. It all comes down to your looks, your ability to hold a conversation, and you're ability to be funny/charming during said conversation.
They do like guys who are shallow goofs like Seinfeld. Many of them put it right in the ad or profile. 90% looks 10% coming across like Seinfeld. Conversation doesn't matter, they prefer a good listener. Many of them yap on and on and all you can do is nod your head and say "I see"
That thing about extroverts not being compatible with introverts isn't so much of a groundbreaking realization for me so much as something I should have realized sooner -- precisely because it makes so much sense. Thought I had more common sense than that, but whatever. Thanks for the tips, though. You've got some really good points here.
Had most of that but the how to avoid the friend zone thing. Gotta be a little more agressive with the compliments. It is true that women trust us faster and hence if you aren't affraid of small talk you can be pretty effective at meeting women.
I came here specifically for the introversion aspect not really the dating aspect. And you explained introversion so well in a short amount of time. So thank you for that. I am an introvert and it is so frustrating for me that so many extroverts still have the wrong idea about us or are misinformed. Especially when you think that roughly about a third of the population is introverted.
I love you chose this topic. So much dating advice is built squarely on extroversion. We need so much more of this! I wish you had more advice on “purely“ introvert tactics. Some of the suggestions here lean toward “extrovert light“ tactics. There hat has to be some introvert centered approaches. Maybe focusing on the long game instead of picking up women the night of ect. Idk. I really appreciate you even thinking about this approach. Most people just shame introverts like it’s some disability. I’ll be looking for more introverted centered material on your page! #Subscribed
No, that's quite normal - But you likely can't spend too much time around an extrovert - like spending an afternoon etc. is fine - but all day for a number of days will likely make you want to escape
I think having extrovert friends is pretty important for introverts. As for me, I am definitley introvert and two of my best friends are highly extroverts. I know them both pretty much all my life and they always challenged me to get out of my comfort zone, which means being alone. Without them I would have missed so many crazy experiences and hadn't met that many interesting people. I am very thankful for having them. Even when they can be annoying as hell :D
@@SchoolOfAttraction I'm a very introverted dude in a relationship with a very extroverted lady, and because of other personality traits like high openness we seem to find a lot of things to talk about, and I enjoy that I don't have to be the one to come up with most conversations, while she finds my depth of thought appealing (it sounds a bit douchey, I simply mean i have a lot more information than her about some things she's interested in hence I can entertain her). So we get along great, it's just a matter of wanting someone to compliment and cover up for your weaknesses.
Every. And I mean every advice about getting good with women and people in general really comes down to “Talk to more people, get into that social state of mind”. For us introverts it’s harder to do that but guess what? Life is not easy. Good luck gentlemen and never underestimate small talk.
I am an introvert. The last advice is so very true. Until I convinced myself to approach to introverted women instead, until then I was able to find someone who I feel very comfortable. No more going to clubs only because the extroverted chic I was dating wanted to and feeling drained and so exhausted by the end of the day....
1. I can handle 1 on 1 a bit more than group chat. 2. This is me. All throughout high school, I was close to quite a few girls but couldn't get out of the friend zone. 3. I still work on what few strengths I have and try to build up what I can't do. Small talk was one of those things. I need to go places where I find new people. I'm not good with separating one girl from the others. 4. If I can find events that seem like my kind of thing, I'd make an effort. 5. I can connect with some people and still be a shy entertainer. 6. What about if she's an ambivert? 😟 There are times I feel like I'm waiting for someone to say "You need a girlfriend." 🙂 Still hopeful
I think theres a bit of a catch 22 thing here. Correct that to meet people you need activities that allow you to meet an ongoing 'supply' of people. Conversely, if a quiet private person is going to attract someone similar, that rarely happens off a single meeting, I think introverts want to weigh up/familiarize themselves with someone before they would consider going further, which is a bummer if the activiy doesnt have the potential for repeat contact. I find activities tend to be either a relatively stable group of people (not good for meeting new people) or a social activity where you meet people, and basically never see them again.
As an introvert who has been friend zoned, there is definitely things I have to work on to be better if I ever plan on courting a woman, and they go as follows: 1: Compliment more/make it more clear I am after her "body" (loosely so too speak) and not just so she can feel safe around me, I don't want her to feel like she can be herself around me, and move on and talk about getting a new bf after all. 2: Get better about talking out big decisions, even if I know I am right/making the overall better decision for us both. 3: Also try not too let my boundaries be such a mystery, sure some mystery is fine, but when everything is a mystery about me, how can I expect her to trust that I trust her, which falls into number 2. 4: More action, I am far too adept at giving her time/being there for her when she needs me emotionally, but physically... ugh (granted it is difficult when there is distance) still not sure how physical I would have gotten if she was nearer. xd -- I am more than willing to adapt, grow, and change if needed, but if she isn't around to see the change due to my... negligence about some of those things, it is no wonder why I have been friend zoned/am finding it difficult to maintain friendships.
@POO POO ON ISRAEL That is entirely a very good possibility, I have an analytical mind if you couldn't tell, sometimes I do indeed overthink things and perhaps try to change something that really doesn't need to be. Thanks for the comment.
I been with a couple of extroverted woman and we had good relationships i felt it brought me out my comfort zone and helped me loosen up tbh but id still prefer to be home but its encouraging to go out with them
The secret ti flirting with women as an introvert is that we are INCREDIBLE conversationlists one on one. So just try and get some alone time with her, in person or in text and you will amaze her easily
Wow dude what a great video. As an introvert, probably further towards the introverted side of the spectrum than yourself, I have already implemented almost all of these techniques subconsciously and seen the benefits. Even though it hasn't fully worked for me yet, I think I am headed in the right direction... 👍
Being an empath causes me to find my introversion a plus as it equals a means of self-preservation. I can only handle so many interactions with people during the day before I'm mentally exhausted and have even experienced mild anxiety attacks as a result of that state. I'm not sure if I'm able to "flirt" effectively as I am horrible at small talk. I've also found that most females (sadly enough) my age that have substance and potential to result in a meaningful relationship partner are already involved. I do agree with your points.
Yeah small talk is draining for all us introverts - you sort of have to learn to be GOOD at small talk, and also good at quickly leading into more meaty topics, so you can escape it ;)
While it might well be true that statistically introverts and extraverts don't get along, the MBTI (if you consider this a viable test) suggests that certain types of extraverts and introverts match insanely well, like for example ENFPs and INFJs. Great video though, really helped me out, thanks a lot
So FYI - MBTI isn't based on any real science - the psychology field has a very dim view of MBTI because it's just a made up test. So its definitions of introvert and extrovert are also off base slightly.
Hi, I've only come across this video until now and I'm so happy you ticked off some of my boxes. Its great, that you spoke in a different view about benefits of being a introvert and gave us brilliant strategies to combat some of our worries in social interactions with people, compared to other youtubers. Personally, I am introvert and in the past I sometimes had social anxiety when speaking to extroverted people in large gatherings. I used to compare myself to extroverts, i.e. thinking why they have better social skills then me. I'm happy to say that this video has given me an insight between positive reflections of introverts. Even helps a lot in my self respect and confidence. Thanks!
You are that good as an introvert making woman comfortable that they actually want you at your side forever... *AS A FRIEND* :) Seriously, if you really like a guy (or a girl) and its your friend, what is wrong on trying out a relaitonship? what is wrong in going back to what you where if it didnt work? why should that be uncomfortable?
It's just a terrible strategy for meeting women to friend them first - Also women HATE that experience 98% of the time - Women are frequently paranoid that their good male friends are suddenly going to get 'weird' on them.
simple one probably is that women likes listeners and well if you dont have to say much of anything then you are perfect for that, i have said maybe two words and the conversation goes on because i dont talk and just listen most of the time
Chocobo kei being dead drunk is not the same as polishing your social skills with a good buzz. Alcohol removes anxiety and makes you more risk willing. Nobody gets more quiet after drinking some alcohol. Makes no sense.
This video is more interesting then the other typical flirting videos, it takes a new perspective and a unique look on introverts which sort of makes sense, i dunno how much of it is true considering there were no scientifical sources given about his claims on introverts traits vs extroverts traits but it does sound logical.
It's also much more broadly applicable because it fits all ages and demographic groups. The videos to which you refer are only valid for the immature, shallow, skanky hos that hand around bars.
I stutter as well, but I notice, when I actively try to speak slower, close my eyes, or even better, think the words I want to say before I say them, I stop stuttering!
I am exactly like you are. I took the profession quiz for what my personality is and it ended up around 60% introverted. I hate being alone but I don't like talking in large crouds. I love talking 1 on 1. I'll talk sometimes in big groups if I feel what I say is worth it unless they're all close friends then I will talk a lot. I am very quiet usually unless with really close friends, but I would rather be at a party than be alone. But I also need that alone time to re-energize The funny thing though is I do great on stage.
Heh yeah - I really don't like large groups of people - but to me being on stage, is a weird kind of 1:1 conversation with the audience just being a single person
Yes I 100% attest to this. I'm quite an introvert myself and always do better with shy girls. My one question would be, what kind of methods of meeting women are better for finding introverted women? Tinder has worked a lot for me compared to cold approach and college parties and things.
@@SchoolOfAttraction yeah I think I plan on continuing to rely on tinder for now at least. I recently met a wonderful gf on tinder so idk if I'll even be looking much anyways. That's good to know though mate and your vids definitely helped me get my lovely girl! And to sexually escalate!
Online Dating has a stagnation line, there won't be much fluctuation. Approaching is a hard, cold way and bear most likely no results at first but has a better success rate long term than online dating.
I'm shy/introverted, I don't like to lead or be led but I find being with a woman that is less introverted helps as she gets the ball rolling at times when I lack confidence
my way of flirting is usually through body language and/or subtle words. what usually happens is that they either ignore me or start to reciprocate. it's really nice. i could just start looking someones way in an almost daydreaming kind of fashion and smile and get a response out of people. i can either say something or i get asked something or told something. and after that it's just simple bio chemistry that does the rest, it can still go either way still but if it's not ment to be, it's not ment to be.
Now I get why my body was shaking when this extroverted girl took me to a place full of her outgoing friends at such short notice 😓 Yeah I'm finding an introverted gf
ChapDatText well introverts can be independent too. But either way, good luck finding a nerdy, single woman who doesn’t look disgusting. 😕 I’ve been searching for that combo for years and years with no luck.
INFJ here,i m like an extrovert with people and introvert at the same time,i can kinda ''read the vibe'' of the conversation and blend in more easily,but i get super exausted afterwards (its really weird i cant explain it),and introvert in a sense that if its a 1 v 1 converstion,i m like the best at it,i feel comfortable,its pretty easy for it,as in if the number gets more than 3 its pretty tough for me to keep up and i just stand there listening most of the time,picking up only on the highs and just listening,which Is pretty weird and not weird at the same time .
I’m an introvert but I like larger crowds and loud music. I feel like I blend in well. I also do better at talking to groups rather than a single interaction. Too much pressure on conversating with just one person.
I find I'm smack bang in the middle of the introvert / extrovert spectrum. Depending on the day I might lean toward spending more time with a group at parties; other times I'd prefer to have that one on one time with people. I think the catalyst for me is the type of group. If they are discussing something I'm interested in I'll come in hot, but if I'm struggling to find common ground I'll isolate the person I have the most rapport with and delve deep with them.
Alexander Diaz I'd give you a example but I’m too busy being paralyzed lost in your eyes. I can confirm this flipping of words works because I did it my girlfriend lmao
@@nauticalgaming2961 That is a true in some sense, but instead of clarity, I would call it "Post Nut safety/Play it safe". I have taken more risks, despite the outcome, and have been in more situations and interactions. You gotta risk it for the biscuit, and playin it safe 24 7 won't get you anywhere quickly. This is the effect it has had on me, and I am not claiming this outcome for everyone. Although, most peopl claim to see improvement in drive and confidence, which is also nice
One of the biggest life changes that I had and didn't understand at the time was changing from an extrovert to a introvert, it does happen. Though mine was very much related to depression (yeah yeah I know, boo woo) and mental illnesses that stuck me at the time (was about 16, give or take a year), and from then on I have been introverted. Didn't know what an extrovert or introvert was till some years later, but my behaviors and thought patterns were very much extroverted before that point in my life, I loved socializing, grabbing attention from big crowds, always having 3 or more friends around, etc. Now I don't even have more than 3 friends, spend most of my time alone, and can barely get by a day of socializing at work despite my job being a verily good job where I meet lots of good, interesting people. I was born extroverted, and maybe I'll die one, but right now and for the last several years, I have drastically changed into an introvert.
![This is fun! Old School Saturday [Episode #3]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/fWnN2GEKh5I/mqdefault.jpg)
"Introverts earn womens' trust much more easily."
Aaaaaand friendzoned.
i had a girl in college that was comfortable enough with me that I could directly compliment her (like, O Hi Beautiful) without her getting freaked out which NEVER happened. aaaaaand nope still friendzoned
wherethetatosat you have to make your intentions clear from the beginning you want a romantic relationship not a friendship relationship. It’s scary but that’s usually what happens, romantic interest isn’t conveyed as much as you are feeling, id just suggest flirting more
SleepyPanda simple but effective. Let the girl know you got a pair by letting her know your interested and respect both your and her time.
Avoid the sunk time fallacy from the start.
sacr3d_g6om9try that a typo or are you suggesting to let the context set the meaning.
@@BrokenEyes00 typo lol
Long Answer: Learn confidence make eye contact.
Short Answer: Alcohol
i'm very inroverted, but shen any gender or convesation i my eye contact,this is a very pporly argument.
Alcohol worked for me. It is Just a matter of downgrade overthinking to thinking reasonably
huh, I hate the stuff.
lol, alcohol is like a key of life around my neck.
Im like this guy tho, slightly introverted, nothing that problematic for me really.
I hate alcohol, plus I don't want a relationship that happened because of me not being the true myself due to being drunk. I consider that relationship fake.
when people talk loudly next to me on the train or bus I literally feel my energy drain out of my body.
haha same :D
Lol, when someone pulls up at a stop light blasting music from their speakers I respond the same
Vampires... they don't eat blood, they eat energy
I just think in my head Shhhhhhh there's no need to talk so loudly :p
Fr when somebody decides to sit right next to you when there are other seats available takes my mood from a 10 to 3 real quick. Especially if they stink
As an introvert, I approached this girl at the mall, told her I had seen her recently and that she looked adorable. I then said "what's your name?", she said: "it's none of your business". That was the end of it.
Hey Wade, that didn't happen to you because you're an introvert... That happens to my clients of all personality profiles - If you want to learn to approach women successfully, you need to be willing to have lots of rejections and you get better at it. Everyone does unfortunately
Yea, names are pointless, i usually ask names as im leaving... if theres no substance names dont stick, ive known people for years and talk to them everyday, never knowing thier name... besides it being to awkward to ask after so long, names arent necessary... if you pry for personal info so soon, it comes off as prying, to approach is prying, people usually think that people want something from them
@@fattyjaybird7505 No it's not in fact if someone comes up and says sth unless you really get into conversation and forget about then actually not introducing yourself is being a real piece of nasty work with no manners. It's that simple. If a woman is unwilling to give her name I would be unwilling to even hold up conversation. And fact is that the fact that he needs to grow thicker skin doesn't mean that woman is not a piece of rude s**t. It's not okay to be rude cause you are not interested. Saying "My name is XYZ" And then saying something about having a boyfriend is less intrusive. But don't be rude about it also. Just put it in when it's time. Like if you talk about what you enjoy doing or sth
@@jakubrogacz6829 true, yea i agree with you, i was trying to relate to the mindset of someone who does a name refusal... i would definitely say they would be someone i wouldnt want to be around... but i couldnt imagine being a girl that this happens to "all the time" ...
@@fattyjaybird7505 Well while i agree that having to be centre of attention is annoying ( as an introvert in fact it makes me tired as huge hell )... well just don't put on tight clothes and make up then. Just go around looing normal and then it wouldn't happen. Don't go to clubs. Then you will be happy someone asks your name on streets. But most importantly being polite is not about being self serving and comfortable being polite is being good to an asshole because you have a shred of honour. Also as I said most women get attention but also most women fight for attention. And in most cases they try "seduction", let me tell you one thing. Seduction is good when you want someone to start pursuing you. But if you have this guy that you fawn over just move your butt and ask him. If he doesn't want you then you can look for someone that does and if he wants you you lost nothing. Only thing then you must watch is not having sex too early or he will tell you he likes you back to get it if he is popular guy. Also from experience I maybe ever talked to two women on street. most of shy men aren't that much arrogant to try chatting up. It's mostly pickup artists anyway that do so.
"Go to places like gym, bars and yoga practicing." In other words, be on places that you, as an introvert, hate or are uncomfortable with.
As an introvert the realisation that nobody really cares what youre doing there helped me feeling comfortable.
As an introvert I'd rather go there than at a club or at a concert. Gym is nice to stay fit, lounge bars are cool to relax and yoga ins't too bad too.
The gym is OK for me, as long as everybody's minding his own buisness
Why would an introvert hate gym or yoga class?
youre conflating introversion with social anxiety
As a far end introvert, thank you for not trying to teach us how to be extroverts
You're welcome mate
@@SchoolOfAttraction The more you think about this the more you'll find inconsistencies in yourself. Women feel much more than us you just need to make her feel good. Gimmicks and tricks don't work. What works is you.
Im introverted and I dont like crowded parties etc. But hanging around with a little group of friends is very chill for me. But I enjoy 1v1 time most
Same. Just that nowadays it's even harder to find quality people alltogether. 🙁
I dont have the anxiety. But more like a discomfort.
@@davidbolha true. A lot of people from my age want to party in big crowds and drink untill they pass out. I rather go to a nice...more chilled down place to talk and laugh with friends or so
@@matthijsvanemous7046 Well they do say your 30s are the new 20s or something (I'm 36 btw). 😕
I actually prefer solitude more then anything. Always have. Doing tech stuff or watching some good antizionist documentaries or books. 😊
@@davidbolha and why are you interested in anti-zionism? just curious...
Introvert : A battery that charges spending time alone
Extrovert: A battery that charges spending time around people
Spot on
I think it's not that much about spending time alone. It's more about being able to focus. I'm an introvert and for me it doesn't matter if I spend time alone or with a single other person to charge my battery (if I have a connection with that person). Because in both cases I can focus on a single person, on a single subject and can have deep and meaningful conversation (introspective with myself or with the other person). And that is what you're trained to do as an introvert.
I think that it just isn't possible to have deep conversation with more than one (or maybe two) other people, it's just not how communication dynamics work.
Extrovert, more like vampire.. siphons the energy out of other people... :D
There is actually another battery too, the introverted extrovert. which charges up his/her social skills by being with people. gradually becoming better with his/hers social skills. but as soon as they are left for themself alot of them has issues putting out all that chargeup, leading to sleep issues and other issues related to relaxing.
My Batteries only charges when i sleep
I love the footage of scientists in lab coats apparently discussing Introvert data, like off screen theres a guy wired into a machine trying to flirt.
Lol, and how do you know there isn't? :P
hahaha , I think it was out of place
😂😂
they were looking at a apple wireless keyboard too lol, not even a screen
The more you think about this the more you'll find inconsistencies in yourself. Women feel much more than us you just need to make her feel good. Gimmicks and tricks don't work. What works is you.
Number 6 us something I discovered as well many years ago. I dated an ultra extrovert for 6 months and I was completely miserable. She wanted to go out every single night and dance every single night. I convinced her to reduce it to once a week and I'm sure it lead to the downfall of our relationship because she was forced to do something she hated which was relax at home with me reading or watching a movie and I was forced to spend hours at a dance club or bar with her and her extroverted, loud friends. I loved her so it was easy to do, but looking back now it was grueling and I didn't feel like I was dating her, I felt like I was "Getting through the day" with her so I could be with her. We eventually broke up over our mutual disdain for each other's life decisions and we both accepted that it was for the best.
I have since met more introverted women and it's like night and day. When you meet someone on the same spot on the spectrum as you it's effortless. You don't need to push and pull to get to a place where you are both mildly satisfied because doing the same thing gives you both unlimited energy. Hearing it on this video reminded me of all that. This was a brilliant watch.
Same here, that opened my eyes. Looking back it was good that it happened, so I know what to avoid next time.
Glad to hear that more people went through this.
@@Chris3015 it all makes sense now!
Go listen to "Tiger by the tail" by Buck Owens or "Fastest growing heartbreak in the West" by Ringo Starr, they'll become your theme songs.
Introverts should date introverts. That makes a lot of sense but had never heard that idea before. Thanks.
It's just logics.
Does it? I just love extroverts. They are everything I'm not. They seems to enjoy life, and I actually want some of that.
I feel like we can learn something from each other, and grow in the process...
Sorry I'm in love with an extrovert 😅 and I feel, most girls I'm drawn into, are extroverts...
Yup, I'm conflicted 😂
@@Fremder14 Same bro i feel you
obviously
its the best thing you could do, but they need to trust eachother, otherwise it doesnt work
@@Fremder14 2 magnets that are exactly the same don't stick together, however opposites attract and bring out both the worst and best of you if you can adapt 👍🏽
Introverts just prefer to spend time alone, doesn't mean there not confident
Thank you
@Gromph Baenre thanks 👍
@@kc270352 *Thank's
Introvert vs extrovert comes from the Myers-Briggs test, and as such is not well-defined at all.
That's true but since they spend more time alone than extroverts they're less experienced with social situations so it would make sense that in general they'd be less comfortable and confident in those situations.
The personality test was scarily accurate for such a short quiz. thanks for letting me know that’s it’s impossible to be like an extrovert, I will now work on becoming a manageable introvert!
Great to hear Tito!
Close friends give me energy and help me escape my life. Everyone else drains me
"Make sure to give compliments"
Instant friendzone lol
Well you have to give compliments she's earned, not just 'gosh you sure are pretty" :P
@@SchoolOfAttraction 🤣🤣🤣
I can vouch for the fact that it does no good whatsoever.
What's amazing about you is that you encourage people to know themselfs and work with that, building more honest human beings rather than encouraging people to try hard and change who they trully are, which leads to fake people.
And frankly, we've had enough of faking by now. So thanks!
I appreciate it bud!
I watched so many different guides of how to get women. Now i found the one i need to hear. You're the 1st one who makes a difference between introverts and extroverts. I'am clearly introvert and tried to act like an extrovert. Thank You!
You're welcome Char!
My problem is i can talk to people one day but i cant keep it going for the next few days and we completely loose connection and they begin to believe im just being rude 😆
I need a lot of alone time. That's how I get recharged. I am an introvert. Little did I know that being an introvert makes me seem more trustworthy compared to an extrovert.
That explains why people spill their guts when talking to me. I thought there was just something about me that brought that out in people. I guess it's just I'm very introverted and therefore seem very trustworthy.
Sales people are extroverts. Politicians
juntjoo nunya 😂
What if I need to be alone to get recharged but at the same time I need to talk to a lot of people to feel energized and confident?
So I did that personality test and might I just say it unfolded my being almost perfectly
Thanks for the feedback Kavana!
I remember being an extrovert when I was younger but as I got older I started prefering to spend my time alone
Im hella introverted but im hellaaaa confident. I think being an introvert is better for getting woman because they find me mysterious and have respect for me. If I say something they always listen with those big glowing eyes
sixaj finally found a positive introvert comment
@@colonel_crackers6586 😎😎
Same here, i made a girl go from saying " im not interested in having a relationship" to saying "i cant stop thinking about you" "i want to see you and i love you" after having a 2 hours conversation
@@USGishumura boss move💯
Bingo. Add to this that I'm on the more intelligent side, and the "mysterious guy" suddenly becomes a "super genius", lol.
wow, this is smart. You actually nailed the definition of introvert - bang on! Most thing "introvert" means shy, it doesn't. I'm an outgoing introvert for example. I know shy extroverts. I've come across the dopamine thing recently. I've wondered how to increase mine.
Cheers mate, there are a number of strategies to increase dopamine - but one alternative to consider is to increase dopamine sensitivity instead.. By lowering the frequency of dopamine rushes - things like reducing porn consumption etc.
Forget the dopamine. I can teach you how to really get any girl you want. Email me at raymundosconsulting@gmail.com.
No many ppl have described so well as you just did.. I trust you from now on
Cheers Luis
I enjoy being an introvert, why would i want to change?
Damn straight!
Hell, yeah! Introverts unite!... Separately, in their own homes... :)
@@KristoffDoe 😅😅😅😅😅😅
@@KristoffDoe 50 miles away
Thanks for the great video which inspired me to take the personality test. I'm 25 and a lot of what I heard here aligns with some of the best strategies I had to take to learn myself through my own journey.
Also, thanks for name dropping Raymond Cattell - This allowed me to do a bit more research into the 16 point personality factor and really understand my results a lot better.
The test highlighted Serious, Shy, and Trusting behaviors with the following scores in each trait:
Warmth: +15%, Reasoning 0%, Emotional Stability: +33%, Dominance: -14%, Liveliness: -71%, Rule-Conscious: +17%, Social Boldness: -71%, Sensitivity: 0%, Vigiliance: -67%, Abstractedness: -50%, Privateness: 0%, Apprehension: +20%, Openness to Change: +43%, Self Reliance: +43%, Perfectionism: +43%, Tension: 0%
This is actually scary accurate and aligns with some other personality testing I've done over the years. For example on Myers Briggs, I'm INTJ in social situations and ENTJ in professional and academic situations. I took Raymond Cattell just trying to be as accurate as I could about any situation and pretty much all of my dominant behaviors showed through. The only thing I don't really see listed is analytical reasoning, but honestly with how accurate everything else is I don't really care.
I'll avoid giving you my life story in a TH-cam comment, but will mention that after the research, I did write a self reflection on my results... That is 1,800 words. This is something I try to do each time I research something like this in an attempt to learn something about myself. There's also the fact that once you give the analytical side of my brain a carrot, it will take it and run with it...
Anyways, thanks again for the engaging content!
Wow, that's really great to see you going in and self-educating further! 16PF remains one of my favourites because of how well researched it is.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I can definitely see why! It's hard to pull useful information out of a lot of the other tests without getting super deep into them. 16PF just made a ton of sense from the start!
i know that i'm extremely introverted and anti-social.
In other words i really like listening to people talk for a little while, but really hate being apart of the conversation. Also small talk doesn't give you much of anything which to me if i don't have a reason to talk i'm not going to talk.
I know this is really not good if i want friends because it will be a very one sided friendship which doesn't work out.
But i also know if i don't have to care about spending time with anybody i can do things that actually matter to me.
Don't take this as i hate people because it don't i just don't like giving my time to people in that way. People also seem to trust me almost instantly without me saying much.
When i was in school i use to give roses to all the girls in my class because it made them happy and i also use to be anti-social all thru out school and i never got bullied or picked on, everyone just let me do what i wanted to do, even the teachers.
if you managed to actually read this whole thing thanks for the time.
i feel the same, but i motivate myself to learn to small talk and flirt because i now its gonna come in handy one day. and its starting to be great fun. idk
I find it amazing u never got bullied or picked on :))) what country do you live in ? (maybe its rude to ask but i'm curious)
@@AssassinT10 No, it's not rude to me. I live in the United states, Montana more specifically which means it was a smaller school and a smaller town maybe about 500 kids/older kids (k-12). But I think what happened is I wasn't really weird when they talk to me and in elementary I used to give my class everything like I even baked cake/cupcakes all the time for them and expected nothing in return but I just chose not to be apart of the conversations and I guess they respected that, but I'm not sure.
This ended up being alot longer than I thought it was going to be.
@@zerobrownies399 Well, I guess that explains it :)
I really have no idea what I am, and your comment made me even doubt myself more, are there extroverts that are shy and have social anxiety? Because that's exactly how I feel, I really do feel energized talking in a group of people, because i'm quite funny and everyone likes that so whenever a group of people laugh at something funny I say I feel really good and have a good time, sometimes i'm really comfortable talking in a group of friends, but to get to that point it's extremely hard for me, my head always gives me bad thoughts on how I could make a fool of myself in front of everybody, negative thoughts, sometimes I really want to talk and give my opinion, join the conversation, but the words won't come out, i'm extremely nervous and can't get the words out of my mouth, so I end up not saying anything, even tho I really want to participate it's really hard, I find it way easier having just one on one conversations, I feel way more comfortable, so I might be an introvert as well because I like to spend a lot of time on my own, like A LOT, in the jobs i've had I always like to eat alone, people think it's weird because they think i'm an extrovert but I just want to be alone, i'm incredibly introspective, and sometimes when i'm eating with a group of people I don't even get hungry because of the anxiety I have, that's why I just want to be alone and not worry about what people may think and enjoy my food, I don't want to be thinking constantly what to say next or do next, I just want to rest and be alone, in other words, socializing for me is like getting in a pool of really cold water, at first you don't want to, and once you're in in feels like hell, but in a few minutes you get used to it and then you don't even want to get out of the pool, that's how it is for me, you can say I like talking to a lot of people but it gives me anxiety, and at the same time I like being alone for a lot of time and not worry about all of that
I'm a introvert and agree on what he's saying. I've chatted with many women and they enjoy talking with me. They said they feel safe and very comfortable. I also have a sense of humor and they loved my silly to bad jokes.
I hate small talk and usually suck at it big time. For me it's way to shallow and superficial as I could as well walk away. I'm more of an extreme introvert, highly analytical and yet seek deep connection with women. One of my go to questions is "What would you do if money weren't an issue?" It's kind of a filter which sorts out every unfitting woman (in that case most of them). It's interesting how willing women are to hold a deep conversations though. If you get past the introduction it's easier to initiate big talk. I usually use big talk as small talk and those who engage I had deep conversations that lasted hours. Every woman has a topic she could talk for days about it and that's way more interesting than "how do you like the music" or "kinda funny how...".
I too am an extreme introvert. Small talk is one of my greatest dislikes.
It is the small talk that leads you to the deep one. Else it is like throwing darts and you are more likely to meet extroverts than introverts that way.
If you want to qualify them; do it later! It's not exactly an ice breaker, But it's definitely a good question later in the conversation. Not sure I'd use that one to qualify people though.
@@TheTinKunt I know right! I'm an introvert also, and it's frustrating to hear so many introverts claim to be great listeners but hate small talk, or want a deep connection but are not a people person, much less sociable. Like most introverts, I'm pretty reserved when I meet someone, so I can't imagine being locked in an hours long conversation after we just met. So what do you do for fun where you live?
GREAT test of whether we're extroverted or introverted, I fall on the spectrum similarly to you, I like both but definitely want the quality 1 on 1 or I feel like I missed out - really interesting video, thanks.
I really like this video. Play to your strengths instead of trying to be something you're not
i usually never watch videos like this because i just think they are scam for guys who are lonely.... but i do have to say there was a lot of useful tips in this video. good job!
Thanks Alexandre!
The meat starts at 5:06
Thank you!
You're a God
Genius, thanks.
Wow
Bless you
As an introvert you are just the best friend - deep talk, trust etc is just gonna put you deep into the friendzone.
Well that's only if deep talk is the ONLY thing you do - You still have to create some edge, build some sexual tension etc. Otherwise, yes, you will end up just being a friend for sure.
with all honesty put it this way when you get fz a few times for our introvert personality you learn quickly to lead with the im not looking for new friends when you are dealing with someone you are interested in fz shit gets old and is a wasted energy/time you could do without :D
The real introvert mating/dating strategy is to wait around while she enjoys her life for 10-15 years; be sure to make a lot of money using your introvert ability to actually make and do things. Then you can become a stepdad for a few years before she divorces you and steals your house.
If you are looking to score girls and not ladies, I agree.
I would argue that once in the friend zone as a introvert who has a connected relationship with said girl . This is perfect circumstance for you to take a step back. Focus on her less. Ghost her on a date. Be aloof about when she questions why you've been distant. All the while talk to other girls if possible. Things might just change and surprise you
Big time introvert here. It's true, folks like me need to recharge with alone time. I can easily spend a weekend totally alone with my cat and my books and not feel weird or lonely in the slightest. It invigorates me.
If I feel a real connection with a woman and sense that she's into me I've got no problem escalating. I'm totally calm one on one.
Problem for me is I don't like superficial small talk much, nor do I like crowds or even moderate sized groups.
Congrats!!! you're the first PUA to adreess this topic more in depth. Thanks for reasuring many things i had to find out by myself, it makes it much more easy to bealive in your own thoughts by listen to them in someone elses words.
As a doctor i will say the dopamine and Ach information is not correct. But it doesnt affect the video since it has a lot of value in it. Great work as always.
I took a test a couple years ago and I got 99 percent introvert I have been trying to play the extrovert game and I have made progress but it is extremely draining. I find this info to be useful.
"When you're hanging out with friends would you prefer to entertain the whole table or just have a meaningful conversation with one friend?"
What am I if I just stare into space and think about movies?
I don't have friends i can't do that.
Anti social? :p
@@asdadfafafafffallslsldd8068 I was joking ido have friends ahah. But im still an introvert. I have 2 faces. With friends i smile etc... The rest of the time i look like a psycho ahah
Hello Abed.
Asperger's Syndrome?
Really helpful video! It's something they should teach at school to everyone, knowing yourself better and analysing what type of person you are, it can help on so many things in a person life.
From my experience, doesn't matter if you're an introvert or extrovert. It all comes down to your looks, your ability to hold a conversation, and you're ability to be funny/charming during said conversation.
They do like guys who are shallow goofs like Seinfeld. Many of them put it right in the ad or profile. 90% looks 10% coming across like Seinfeld. Conversation doesn't matter, they prefer a good listener. Many of them yap on and on and all you can do is nod your head and say "I see"
That thing about extroverts not being compatible with introverts isn't so much of a groundbreaking realization for me so much as something I should have realized sooner -- precisely because it makes so much sense. Thought I had more common sense than that, but whatever.
Thanks for the tips, though. You've got some really good points here.
I'm definitely an introvert. I really don't know what to say to women. I'm shy & I stick to myself. I m very anti social
Unlimited believe try see iT from another perspective my Guy
I just found your video and took the test. Spot on.
I found a lot of what you said in your video to hit home.
Thanks
Wow. Someone who talks about introverts and extroverts and actually knows what he talks about.
I would just have a one-on-one conversation with one of my friends at the table instead of as a group.
Had most of that but the how to avoid the friend zone thing. Gotta be a little more agressive with the compliments. It is true that women trust us faster and hence if you aren't affraid of small talk you can be pretty effective at meeting women.
I came here specifically for the introversion aspect not really the dating aspect. And you explained introversion so well in a short amount of time. So thank you for that.
I am an introvert and it is so frustrating for me that so many extroverts still have the wrong idea about us or are misinformed. Especially when you think that roughly about a third of the population is introverted.
Just took the personality test, the results:
Emotional stability -50%
Livelyness: -14%
😎
I love you chose this topic. So much dating advice is built squarely on extroversion. We need so much more of this!
I wish you had more advice on “purely“ introvert tactics. Some of the suggestions here lean toward “extrovert light“ tactics. There hat has to be some introvert centered approaches. Maybe focusing on the long game instead of picking up women the night of ect. Idk.
I really appreciate you even thinking about this approach. Most people just shame introverts like it’s some disability.
I’ll be looking for more introverted centered material on your page!
#Subscribed
Hey Ronald, thanks bud, I definitely plan to be releasing some more introverts guides!
I think that introverts have more chance of building long-term relationships than they will land quick hookups.
@@Stoney3K Huh? A relationship seems like the worst possible thing to me as an introvert.
Am I the only introvert here that gets very well along with a friend that is a extrovert?
No, that's quite normal - But you likely can't spend too much time around an extrovert - like spending an afternoon etc. is fine - but all day for a number of days will likely make you want to escape
I think having extrovert friends is pretty important for introverts. As for me, I am definitley introvert and two of my best friends are highly extroverts. I know them both pretty much all my life and they always challenged me to get out of my comfort zone, which means being alone. Without them I would have missed so many crazy experiences and hadn't met that many interesting people. I am very thankful for having them. Even when they can be annoying as hell :D
No, they like us, some of them, the ones with introspection
Nah there's always extroverts that adopt us haha
@@SchoolOfAttraction I'm a very introverted dude in a relationship with a very extroverted lady, and because of other personality traits like high openness we seem to find a lot of things to talk about, and I enjoy that I don't have to be the one to come up with most conversations, while she finds my depth of thought appealing (it sounds a bit douchey, I simply mean i have a lot more information than her about some things she's interested in hence I can entertain her).
So we get along great, it's just a matter of wanting someone to compliment and cover up for your weaknesses.
Every. And I mean every advice about getting good with women and people in general really comes down to “Talk to more people, get into that social state of mind”. For us introverts it’s harder to do that but guess what? Life is not easy. Good luck gentlemen and never underestimate small talk.
I am an introvert. The last advice is so very true. Until I convinced myself to approach to introverted women instead, until then I was able to find someone who I feel very comfortable. No more going to clubs only because the extroverted chic I was dating wanted to and feeling drained and so exhausted by the end of the day....
1. I can handle 1 on 1 a bit more than group chat.
2. This is me. All throughout high school, I was close to quite a few girls but couldn't get out of the friend zone.
3. I still work on what few strengths I have and try to build up what I can't do. Small talk was one of those things. I need to go places where I find new people. I'm not good with separating one girl from the others.
4. If I can find events that seem like my kind of thing, I'd make an effort.
5. I can connect with some people and still be a shy entertainer.
6. What about if she's an ambivert?
😟 There are times I feel like I'm waiting for someone to say "You need a girlfriend." 🙂 Still hopeful
I think theres a bit of a catch 22 thing here. Correct that to meet people you need activities that allow you to meet an ongoing 'supply' of people. Conversely, if a quiet private person is going to attract someone similar, that rarely happens off a single meeting, I think introverts want to weigh up/familiarize themselves with someone before they would consider going further, which is a bummer if the activiy doesnt have the potential for repeat contact. I find activities tend to be either a relatively stable group of people (not good for meeting new people) or a social activity where you meet people, and basically never see them again.
That personality test was incredibly accurate. I felt like I was dissected and put on a platter.
Cheers Syntherus!
As an introvert who has been friend zoned, there is definitely things I have to work on to be better if I ever plan on courting a woman, and they go as follows:
1: Compliment more/make it more clear I am after her "body" (loosely so too speak) and not just so she can feel safe around me, I don't want her to feel like she can be herself around me, and move on and talk about getting a new bf after all.
2: Get better about talking out big decisions, even if I know I am right/making the overall better decision for us both.
3: Also try not too let my boundaries be such a mystery, sure some mystery is fine, but when everything is a mystery about me, how can I expect her to trust that I trust her, which falls into number 2.
4: More action, I am far too adept at giving her time/being there for her when she needs me emotionally, but physically... ugh (granted it is difficult when there is distance) still not sure how physical I would have gotten if she was nearer. xd
--
I am more than willing to adapt, grow, and change if needed, but if she isn't around to see the change due to my... negligence about some of those things, it is no wonder why I have been friend zoned/am finding it difficult to maintain friendships.
@POO POO ON ISRAEL That is entirely a very good possibility, I have an analytical mind if you couldn't tell, sometimes I do indeed overthink things and perhaps try to change something that really doesn't need to be.
Thanks for the comment.
I been with a couple of extroverted woman and we had good relationships i felt it brought me out my comfort zone and helped me loosen up tbh but id still prefer to be home but its encouraging to go out with them
The secret ti flirting with women as an introvert is that we are INCREDIBLE conversationlists one on one. So just try and get some alone time with her, in person or in text and you will amaze her easily
Wow dude what a great video. As an introvert, probably further towards the introverted side of the spectrum than yourself, I have already implemented almost all of these techniques subconsciously and seen the benefits. Even though it hasn't fully worked for me yet, I think I am headed in the right direction... 👍
Being an empath causes me to find my introversion a plus as it equals a means of self-preservation. I can only handle so many interactions with people during the day before I'm mentally exhausted and have even experienced mild anxiety attacks as a result of that state. I'm not sure if I'm able to "flirt" effectively as I am horrible at small talk. I've also found that most females (sadly enough) my age that have substance and potential to result in a meaningful relationship partner are already involved. I do agree with your points.
Yeah small talk is draining for all us introverts - you sort of have to learn to be GOOD at small talk, and also good at quickly leading into more meaty topics, so you can escape it ;)
While it might well be true that statistically introverts and extraverts don't get along, the MBTI (if you consider this a viable test) suggests that certain types of extraverts and introverts match insanely well, like for example ENFPs and INFJs.
Great video though, really helped me out, thanks a lot
So FYI - MBTI isn't based on any real science - the psychology field has a very dim view of MBTI because it's just a made up test. So its definitions of introvert and extrovert are also off base slightly.
I already knew I was an introvert. But after watching this video it's quite obvious why I am the way I am.
Hi, I've only come across this video until now and I'm so happy you ticked off some of my boxes. Its great, that you spoke in a different view about benefits of being a introvert and gave us brilliant strategies to combat some of our worries in social interactions with people, compared to other youtubers.
Personally, I am introvert and in the past I sometimes had social anxiety when speaking to extroverted people in large gatherings. I used to compare myself to extroverts, i.e. thinking why they have better social skills then me.
I'm happy to say that this video has given me an insight between positive reflections of introverts. Even helps a lot in my self respect and confidence. Thanks!
Authentic and informative video. Gave me some useful insight, so thanks!
I just joined and subscribed and I’m actually enjoying your videos a lot. I’ve noticed how much of an introvert I am to. And I live in Australia too
Awesome mate - we need more aussies on the channel :)
@@SchoolOfAttraction oh I’m in Victoria and I think your in queens land.
Yep, I sure am
You are that good as an introvert making woman comfortable that they actually want you at your side forever... *AS A FRIEND* :)
Seriously, if you really like a guy (or a girl) and its your friend, what is wrong on trying out a relaitonship? what is wrong in going back to what you where if it didnt work? why should that be uncomfortable?
It's just a terrible strategy for meeting women to friend them first - Also women HATE that experience 98% of the time - Women are frequently paranoid that their good male friends are suddenly going to get 'weird' on them.
simple one probably is that women likes listeners and well if you dont have to say much of anything then you are perfect for that, i have said maybe two words and the conversation goes on because i dont talk and just listen most of the time
I have transformed from introvert to extrovert.. It took 2 years hard mental work to do it, but it is possible..
Totally enjoyed your video, good sir. Very informative and engaging.
Thanks mate!
Im an Introvert when sober BUT an Extrovert when drunk🙃
Lol you and everyone! :P
Actually that suggests you're not so much of an introvert when sober as much as you are shy when sober.
@@SchoolOfAttraction that's not true, not everyone are more extrovert when drunk , some go way quieter than usual.
Chocobo kei being dead drunk is not the same as polishing your social skills with a good buzz. Alcohol removes anxiety and makes you more risk willing. Nobody gets more quiet after drinking some alcohol. Makes no sense.
for me that varies if im being drunk with people i know more extro vs drunk with people i dont know dont even exist
Your personality test was incredibly accurate
Glad to hear it!
This video is more interesting then the other typical flirting videos, it takes a new perspective and a unique look on introverts which sort of makes sense, i dunno how much of it is true considering there were no scientifical sources given about his claims on introverts traits vs extroverts traits but it does sound logical.
It's also much more broadly applicable because it fits all ages and demographic groups. The videos to which you refer are only valid for the immature, shallow, skanky hos that hand around bars.
I hate being an introvert, i stutter in group conversations but dominate 1 on 1. And i could never master small talk NEVER
I stutter as well, but I notice, when I actively try to speak slower, close my eyes, or even better, think the words I want to say before I say them, I stop stuttering!
I am exactly like you are. I took the profession quiz for what my personality is and it ended up around 60% introverted. I hate being alone but I don't like talking in large crouds. I love talking 1 on 1. I'll talk sometimes in big groups if I feel what I say is worth it unless they're all close friends then I will talk a lot. I am very quiet usually unless with really close friends, but I would rather be at a party than be alone. But I also need that alone time to re-energize
The funny thing though is I do great on stage.
Heh yeah - I really don't like large groups of people - but to me being on stage, is a weird kind of 1:1 conversation with the audience just being a single person
@@SchoolOfAttraction When I say close friends though I mean I have to know them for years before I am able to be close to them.
Same thing happens to me!!!
*boy* did you open my eyes! and I am an old bloke alright! great, clear insights!!!
Im definitely introvert. Being around people is just so draining.
Actual good pickup advice. Cheers Dude.
You're welcome mate!
Yes I 100% attest to this. I'm quite an introvert myself and always do better with shy girls. My one question would be, what kind of methods of meeting women are better for finding introverted women? Tinder has worked a lot for me compared to cold approach and college parties and things.
Online dating is great, but also common interest groups and communities as well
@@SchoolOfAttraction yeah I think I plan on continuing to rely on tinder for now at least. I recently met a wonderful gf on tinder so idk if I'll even be looking much anyways. That's good to know though mate and your vids definitely helped me get my lovely girl! And to sexually escalate!
I got banned from Tinder.
Shy people take to long to open up. I want to talk to woman about hyperglycemia ect
Online Dating has a stagnation line, there won't be much fluctuation.
Approaching is a hard, cold way and bear most likely no results at first but has a better success rate long term than online dating.
I'm shy/introverted, I don't like to lead or be led but I find being with a woman that is less introverted helps as she gets the ball rolling at times when I lack confidence
Good to know, thank you! I'm an introvert who always 100% ended up in friend zone...
Most of my closest friends over the years, even today, have been females with husbands or boyfriends. I know the feeling!
my way of flirting is usually through body language and/or subtle words.
what usually happens is that they either ignore me or start to reciprocate.
it's really nice.
i could just start looking someones way in an almost daydreaming kind of fashion and smile and get a response out of people.
i can either say something or i get asked something or told something.
and after that it's just simple bio chemistry that does the rest, it can still go either way still but if it's not ment to be, it's not ment to be.
Very interesting and helpful information, as an introvert myself this all makes a lot of sense. Thank you.
You're welcome Hat
There is no need to cry... Fear is something we can conquer.
Now I get why my body was shaking when this extroverted girl took me to a place full of her outgoing friends at such short notice 😓
Yeah I'm finding an introverted gf
ChapDatText good luck with that. If you succeed, let me know how you found one... 😞
@@jekyle1980 I changed my mind.
Now I'm looking for an independent nerdy girl
ChapDatText well introverts can be independent too. But either way, good luck finding a nerdy, single woman who doesn’t look disgusting. 😕 I’ve been searching for that combo for years and years with no luck.
@@jekyle1980 I can help. Contact me at raymundosconsulting@gmail.com to discuss it.
INFJ here,i m like an extrovert with people and introvert at the same time,i can kinda ''read the vibe'' of the conversation and blend in more easily,but i get super exausted afterwards (its really weird i cant explain it),and introvert in a sense that if its a 1 v 1 converstion,i m like the best at it,i feel comfortable,its pretty easy for it,as in if the number gets more than 3 its pretty tough for me to keep up and i just stand there listening most of the time,picking up only on the highs and just listening,which Is pretty weird and not weird at the same time .
Maldevius 01 as an another INFJ i agree with you.
@@krisanachongvilaigasame7380 hello brether from another mother how are you doing xd
@@randomness4989 chasing an extrovert woman HAHAHA
Very good thoughts here, i learned about myself now. Thanks!
Thank you on behalf of the introverts everywhere.
I’m an introvert but I like larger crowds and loud music. I feel like I blend in well. I also do better at talking to groups rather than a single interaction. Too much pressure on conversating with just one person.
then ur just an extrovert with social anxiety
b4t b0y oh ok. Well maybe then I am
Observations and adjustments toward a clear objective. Know Thyself.
This was surprisingly helpful to me.
Wow, thanks. So common sense but what we need to hear. Good Job
Cheers Steve!
the problem is, if there is an extrovert around, he will attract every girl's attention, so they will have no more of it for the introvert
chances are, introvert girls might find that unattractive/annoying. depends though
@@RikThunder33 yes, they could be annoyed by that, but not instantly. Just after a few hours, but your chance will be lost by that time lol
@@groovesan *shrug* depends on the environment.
@@RikThunder33 No, it depends on your own game and skills. I can help you with that. My email is raymundosconsulting@gmail.com.
@@raymundosconsulting I'm good. xD Thanks.
I find I'm smack bang in the middle of the introvert / extrovert spectrum. Depending on the day I might lean toward spending more time with a group at parties; other times I'd prefer to have that one on one time with people. I think the catalyst for me is the type of group. If they are discussing something I'm interested in I'll come in hot, but if I'm struggling to find common ground I'll isolate the person I have the most rapport with and delve deep with them.
Yep, plenty of people sit more towards the middle than the edges, it's just a nice spectrum.
What's this 'friend' thing you're talking about?
You mean friendzone?
You don't want that if you want a girlfriend, it is okay within a group.
I'm not anxious in social situations, rather I have very little to say to people that I don't have much in common with.
Sounds pretty classically introverted doesn't it?
How to actually flirt: Literally just flip the words against them with confidence.
How? Can i have an example
Alexander Diaz I'd give you a example but I’m too busy being paralyzed lost in your eyes.
I can confirm this flipping of words works because I did it my girlfriend lmao
Cursed Khien I want more examples
@@jimmynoben9597 I would give you more examples but what I really wanna give you is my heart.
@@OnBrandRP bro plz explain.I dont know anything about flirting..plz give some morr examples
Took the test thank you so much for the advice
You're welcome bud!
When I stop fapping I find myself being more extroverted. Not a complete change, but able to spend half a day outside
That's so true man, i hit 94 days today and social anxiety Is for the most part done
Good for you bro, I hope you are using the energy properly and go out with girls man. Good luck!!
Same, but nofap also helped me appreciate the silence of being alone.
Forbidden Account what about POSTNUT CLARITY
@@nauticalgaming2961 That is a true in some sense, but instead of clarity, I would call it "Post Nut safety/Play it safe". I have taken more risks, despite the outcome, and have been in more situations and interactions. You gotta risk it for the biscuit, and playin it safe 24 7 won't get you anywhere quickly. This is the effect it has had on me, and I am not claiming this outcome for everyone. Although, most peopl claim to see improvement in drive and confidence, which is also nice
One of the biggest life changes that I had and didn't understand at the time was changing from an extrovert to a introvert, it does happen. Though mine was very much related to depression (yeah yeah I know, boo woo) and mental illnesses that stuck me at the time (was about 16, give or take a year), and from then on I have been introverted. Didn't know what an extrovert or introvert was till some years later, but my behaviors and thought patterns were very much extroverted before that point in my life, I loved socializing, grabbing attention from big crowds, always having 3 or more friends around, etc. Now I don't even have more than 3 friends, spend most of my time alone, and can barely get by a day of socializing at work despite my job being a verily good job where I meet lots of good, interesting people. I was born extroverted, and maybe I'll die one, but right now and for the last several years, I have drastically changed into an introvert.