At last! A guy that recognises what I've always called "the solo mission". The success rates are through the roof. In my glory days, I always did this. My line was "I was supposed to meet my friends here and they all stood me up this evening. Now I'm on my own" Most women just want to save you and take you under their wing. "Come and join us" was almost always the response. It was always a winning strategy. My best nights out were those "solo missions" Nice video man! New subscriber for sure!
I’m going to have to try that one. I always feel like I need an excuse for being alone at a bar. I always feel awkward and end up leaving after a few drinks.
I love going out alone. It absolutely forces you to talk to girls. If you’re with your friends, your brain uses that as an excuse. What I always do is just go out without any expectations, and definitely to a place that is entertaining for me. And I just talk to everyone, men, women, whatever. It gets you in a free and easy mood.
Yeah man I would hide by my friends who would never meet anyone and it would feel awkward to meet people when they are in the background looking at me. It is much better to go out alone. I have many friends that I will bump into at clubs from a history of going out alone and meeting people.
It sounds counter intuitive but as a non drinker going to bars and drinking socially actually improved my life. I was so fucking lonely just smoking weed on my back porch before that.
The trick is the mindset you bring with you to the bar. Don't go to the bar to meet a hookup, just go to have fun. So if you don't find a hookup you can stay motivated by reminding yourself that just talking to people, even if it doesn't click, is more fun than staying home alone :)
100% Jonathan, I used this technique to improve my confidence, my conversation technique and my flirting skills, it also gives you a great insight in to the female psyche and that is 110% gold dust.
Go out with the intention of sharpening your social skills, and having new experiences. This way, you take the pressure of yourself, and know that it's a win no matter what happens. Getting more experience is the key.
CAN CONFIRM, THIS WORKS! I went out today and followed the steps in this video. Ended up hanging out the entire evening with a group of three super cool girls and we went to a few bars. Even got a number from another cute girl in one bar. Try it ou guys, going out alone and just having fun is addicting!
I don’t have that problem I own two hotels one in New York and Spain so I am in the business. I always go out alone hit a bar early and usually have my meal at the bar. I have style and money #1 wear a wedding ring. That is the best approach I project I am taken and I am not picking up. The rest is ABRACADABRA 😂🎉!!!
Damn, this is Reverse psychology, Dude. I''ll try this also next time. By the was, Most of the time I do solo game too, because so I'm 100percent responsible for the result of my actions.@@yellowquantum4240
@@yellowquantum4240 Hello, you say you wear a wedding ring, is it because you're married, or is it a trick you're using to be more succesful towards women who like chasing married men ?
@@Heimrik01 I was married to a French woman I messed up big time I never took my ring off. Today works in airports, bars is a taboo thing that women are attracted too. I never have the lonely dude look I work on frame , workout, tons of hobbies plus now financially solid. People want what can not have!
If Picasso or the masters A list ( today) would be playing tennis in a country club and bar hopping no Picasso, Newton, Da Vinci, Einstein, Jesus....etc I like Virginia Wolf 🤓
listen to the modern lovers song about him. “he could walk down the street and girls could not resist his stare… pablo picasso never got called an ahole… not like you” 😂
@@SK-le1gm I never appreciated Picasso's art, until I met an artist, from France, that idolized him. Antoine was the most artistic person I ever met! And if he thought Picasso was awesome, I had to think again. My favorite quote of Pablo's is "Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist!" 😎🤙
The magnum opus and philosophers stone are both one and the same. This is an internal work The lead is the imperfect you and the gold is the realized individual. This process once realized is worth more than gold. By far Stay warm my friends
Don't go to the bar for the hookup go with the mindset you are going to interact and be social with people and if you meet some new friends or a possible hookup that's the icing on the cake.
Hey man, love the strategy, super clever, one thing I think worth mentioning too is once you find a group of women to help you, from an outside perspective, it looks like one guy hanging out with a bunch of girls, which makes you seem much more attractive to every other girl in the venue
Super smart strategies man. Its so important to not be too direct in the search. Just having fun shows so much attractiveness and going in alone is so confident. Women vouching for for your validity as an honest person helps so much! My first girlfriend i met when going out and i got dragged and dropped into circles of women having fun together, i was introduced, and i could just feel the fear of needing to prove im not a creep slip right off. The most intimate period in my life started after that night out meeting lots of women with no stress and it just clicked with the right one.
*It's great to see someone embrace going out solo and making the most of it. I appreciate the advice on being genuine and confident; it’s a reminder that the right mindset can lead to great connections!*
I decided to go out after watching this. It was already midnight. Went to many clubs alone. Approached a bunch of girls. Got three instagrams and good short conversations. It was not perfect, but I did have a nice experience just facing the challenge of approaching random girls. I'm sure I can keep honing this skill. I think it was pretty good to have done this without thinking it twice.
No, but I'm jacked and I'm making good money. My relationships haven't been the best, but every time I've learned something. On my side I've been doing things right.
@@IAmTheRealHim yeah... maybe whatsapp. I'm tired of dating to be honest. I've met a lot of people but not of a high human quality. I don't know if it's this generation or what.
Hey Lee, I am a 24-year-old college student who goes clubbing alone every Friday without drinking alcohol at all! This has been one of my hobbies since mid 2022. I was not always entertained, but I did collect some nice experiences.
This strategy is really good. It’s a mental exercise of what to do with that time. Things will come naturally and a sense of well-being and freedom will arise and suddenly you’ll end up talking to women you’ll end up being attracted too
Went out to a bar last weekend. I was more interested in seeing the blues musician who was performing more than trying to meet a woman. I was the youngest in the bar was mostly older people. One older guy observed this and asked me. Told him i was there to see the performer play and he was happy to see a younger guy appreciate blues music. From there i just started talking to more people and eventually got to talk to the singer and guitarist of the band. It was an awesome experience! If you are a music fan its good to go to bars where there will be live music. Easy to make observations that can lead to conversation material.
Yes I’m actually considering trying this approach. My friends are too held up in their own lives to go out with me and I was resisting the idea of going out alone as ‘sad’. After seeing this it changed my mind. There’s a local high street to where I live that I’m going to try on Friday to see how it goes. Wish me luck!
This man thinks just like I do. The difference is that I motivate myself for various reasons. It can be through an experimental playfulness (what would happen? What can I do differently? How can I use psychology?). I wanted to play with this concept of getting into social states. Just like a Big Mac has layers to it, there’s more. To motivate myself to put that idea into practice I started NoFap. It really creates a sense of urgency to go out and talk to women 😅 Going out tonight. I’ve been building confidence in approaching groups of tables. I just started small with trying to say hello to large groups in cafes. Your video gives me a template to work with.
I have been going out by myself to clubs/ concerts but dont manage the courage to speak to girls. I turn up in my own world but know i have a shot with women. The longer i procrastinate I end up too drunk for flirting and the night is over and im still alone at the end of it. Definitely a flaw on my part and it’s because i get intimidated and blank out on being chill and not too nervous i feel. Really just trying to have a good time but your advice definitely helped me out, will try it friday
Count 3...2...1...and approach. I am doing this strategy in everything in my life (need to go study? 3...2...1..do it!) so when I go to the club it just feels natural. you still need to have the balls but it does help a bit.
I feel like I just read a short story about myself. I just go out for the sake of going out and getting out of the house. Some nights I have fun and other times I’m ready to go back to my quiet apartment lol!
The fear never go away, you need to simply confront it. Start by training your brain to the feeling by having short casual conversations on a regular basis. That is talk to strangers ALL THE TIME. And don’t discriminate, be the guy who talks to everybody. Smile more. And always be extra polite to service people in stores/bars/cleaners and so on, give a extra « have a great day 🤗🌅». Learn to Be the guy who makes peoples day 👍😄. Show interest en people by asking about they’re lifes. You will see that they briten up with smiles 😄. This in turn will rub of on you, the females around will see « where that man stands is where the smiles and fun is».
Simple. I feel energized and super confident-pretty much like I own the night. I also go to places where I know from the security to the owners so occasional goers notice I’m allowed in private areas and hug and fist bump all the staff and the band members playing that night (I know most of them). I focus on having fun talking to and drinking with the bartenders and bar managers. All of the sudden, you’ll notice girls and guys gravitate toward you. It’s just natural. They’ll compliment you on your style (I look like a rock star-no joke) and often take pictures with you. It’s actually a lot of fun. Sometimes I also go with my female friends who are good looking. That also helps a lot. I realize this will not be the experience for everyone but keep in mind that once you’ve done this enough times, it doesn’t even matter if you venture alone in a different city or even abroad (I travel quite a bit). The energy is the same. Long story short, it is all in your mind. If you feel you own the night, you actually do.
I’m at the beginning of a new arch in my going out alone journey. Because I too have dreaded it in the past. But I’m an ok singer who loves the stage more than anything in the world. So the way I stay motivated is… it literally doesn’t matter if I screw up with women… my reason there is the stage and that enables me to not take any interaction too seriously. Plus I kill it up in the stage so my self esteem doesn’t take as big of a hit as elsewhere.
I think the key is... to treat the women as your mates, talk to them like a mate and guaranteed you will succeed. I dont have to use bars to do this you can use any setting... I race motorcycles and go on my own to trackdays, its perfect for working on your social skills. Years ago I would of had massive anxiety but now I don't care at all. Rejection is another one... dont look at rejection as failure look at it as a win... because you approached that girl in the first place. Its all about repetition and Rome wasn't built in a day
im bricking it but i think im gonna try this in about a week, thanks for the advice, the pain of regret of never doing it is worse than the potential failure
Holy damn xD this sounds genious!! and the best part is that if your not lucky with finding someone to flirt with etc. there is much lower threshold to just beeing friends with some girl gang, friends is worth it too! great tip! thx!!
Yeah - I always avoid dance clubs - unless I'm going for salsa/bachata dancing - I look more for bars / cocktail bars / classy bars where ther emusic isn't too loud but the women are classier.
I’m a pickup artist out of OC. I go out alone all the time. If I’m at a bar, honestly all it takes is live music. I pretend like I already know everyone there and eventually I’ll start vibing. It all has to do with your mood. If you feel weird, then weird shit will happen to you. Conversely, if you self amuse, people and woman will be drawn to you.
Great video man. Subscribed! I didn't think I had anything to add, but I just remembered... Where I live in the UK, there is a park with an "outdoor gym" - a few bits of very robust gym equipment that anyone can jump on and use. I've just moved to the area - 180 miles from my last home, and I know noone. I suddenly had the bright idea to work out in this park-gym 3 or 4 times a week. I hope to meet people, not just women. I have been twice so far, and it's been totally empty, LOL. However, the equipment is surprisingly good, so I'm motivated to continue - I ached this morning after yesterday's workout. I'm a fit 57 y/o. I figured, that if I meet anyone in this setting they will be also health orientated. I'm not interested in going to bars, because I'm not into drinking. I'm not teatotal, just don't don't enjoy the stuff very often. I might try cafes though, and maybe adapt some of your ideas... Cheers.
I have A LOT of approach anxiety and my friends are all very shy/not confident so going out with them is a fun night but never around girls. since last summer i started out going alone and been getting more results by just going to the same dive bar consistently. I think the familiarity of the setting, knowing the bartenders and other regulars puts me at ease. I can immediately start a conversation with any of the regulars when there is a lull in activity or talk to the bartenders who i would consider all if not friends, at least good acquaintances.
Yeah, knowing some people even if they aren't friends makes hte whole process so much easier! Good on you for pushing yourself to just get active - it's not easy in the beginning.
I started this process about 10 months ago. One of your videos where you talked about socializing with everyone was super helpful. Early on I'd watch or listen to it over and over, in my car before going into social spaces. I made a conscious choice at that time to go out every single night to a social space, which eventually became bars/clubs. The anxiety is mostly long gone but I still feel awkward in those place. Some of the stuff still seems too overwhelming to attempt so far. But I can go in anywhere and feel at complete peace knowing I belong where ever I'm at, which is hugely different than before and for most of my life
Something I've realised is when I'm 4 drinks in I stop caring about how I feel, I had a family meet up party, first in over like 15 years, now I'm 22 I can hold and start conversations with family I don't know. I saw a girl around my age and thought well I have no romantic feelings whatsoever since she's my cousin and I'd like to know the family my age, 6 drinks in a finally stopped caring how bad I am at conversations and spoke, got the others our age in aswell and it was amazing. I used to think alcohol was stupid but it really gives me confidence, I'm lucky in a way I guess because once I'm drunk I don't seem to get worse the more I drink, I just become happy and talkative but I still feel self awareness to a degree I know not to spout something rude or offensive
I'm a bit older than you are right now. So I remember being younger and having also these happy and talkative effects when drinking alcohol. Now I've noticed somehow that effect has gone and it just makes me drunk and slightly aggressive. I have noticed that same effect happening to people my age and older. Which is why ive toned it down with the drinking to not be THAT guy.
Gentlemen, I have always done this with success even way before all these influencers. If a woman and her gf come up to you and ask you to come sit and talk, DO IT. Even if you don't find her all that attractive. Trust me, other women will notice how you treat this woman and her friends. This will make you seem friendly and approachable.
I hate online dating I don’t believe people can click organically through a screen so I decided to start going to bars alone recently as most of my friends are either married with kids or don’t drink etc I have no issue approaching women with mates in my early 20s but found it challenging alone in my late 20s i will take try what you’ve said a few times and with abit of luck I might have a few good stories to tell thank you for the advice brother
I relate to you brother. I can deal with online dating but I fucking hate messaging lol so I just have little patience for it. I naturally always go out solo though and always have because I don't need a strategy, I'm extremely extraverted and I go out always dressing casually yet I stand out because I take care of myself I always keep myself groomed, and i wear T-shirts for instance that are of the adult novelty type ya know you have seen them , I'm wearing one right now that says " shit show supervisor" , last concert i went too it was ' who ate all the pussy". Etc. And I stand out like the gentleman said in the video but TOO the men and women because the chicks are like thinking" this guy is crazy, he is confident as fuck but he is smiling and seems very approachable " and the dudes that are single hate it, they already cant handle that they are outnumbered and have to compete for pussy, now some dude walked in who is cooler then them and wearing socks and sandles when all of them are wearing their trying to get laid look at me shit, its clear to all of them that I won't care if I don't pull anything that night I'm just here to meet good people and get buzzed and shoot pool and if I meet someone good 👍, but i let them come to me and make no attempt to go any farther with any woman there besides basic chit chat being polite and smiling and saying hi. Since all the other dudes are just chasing and I'm sitting there by myself reading a book or what not all the single women in the bar are aware of me and see me sitting alone they are just either testing me, confused thinking maybe I'm gay or waiting for my date/ gf, figure I'm not single since I'm not pursuing the women, or are just to scared or have to much pussy ego pride to simply just sit down next to me and ask for my name or God help me buy me a man a drink lol. They don't grasp but you do that if one of them did( and they have ) it's extremely flattering to me and I'm really impressed by the courage and feel special, wouldnt you, remember the whole area is watching because I'm by myself reading a book with a shirt on that says " im bringing back Netflix and chill" hahaha, so if anything now im interested And im going to take the lead and get that number and ask her out, but before anything I let her know how genuinely thankful I am of her simply breaking the ice FOR ME and letting me feel comfortable that I won't be laughed at or embarrassed if I ask her out. Make sense? Hope that helps. 😊😊
I've done that a few times myself, the quick answer to deal with anxiety for me was getting drunk enough that you are still able to speak while "drowning" the anxiety.
Guys, last night was probably the best night in a while… let me tell you. I haven’t went out like that by myself in a long time. Mainly because I lost the confidence. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is this man, knows very well what he’s talking about. Listen to him, because this is my first time ever going to a clun EVER. He got me to sleep with a girl in her own house! 😂😂😂 (not boasting)
It took me a long time. But the first step for me is making sure I look my best. Then once I get a couple drinks in me I'm more relaxed. I like going to places I'm familiar with too. After that you're just enjoying your time alone listening to music and vibing out. Most people will assume you're there with someone anyway. But if you're looking and feeling good someone will always approach you.
Right. I think I should go back to that. Having no expectation and just have fun. Social medias have destroyed those normal organic human interactions.
Going out to a bar on my own tonight for the first time. Dating is becoming more and more competitive these days, and I figured that if you don't make a move, not much will happen!
After my divorce and a couple of covid years I re-engaged the party scene at 34. I alternatively went with friends and alone. Actually I prefered going alone, because you meet new people and don't have to deal with group pressure or expectations. My biggest successes I had with women, was going alone. But I always went to the same clubs and bars, because I was attracted to a specific typ of people and music. So I ended up knowing a lot of people, but these were rather superficial acquaintances. It turned of to be a disadvantage. First of all the pool of people going to the bars refreshes seldom, and seeing the same people over and over again makes cautious. I once talked to a guy with more experience and he said, "if you want to hook up with girls, don't go to familiar places, try new territory." He is totally right. 2 month ago I stopped going out. It became futile, because I realized I didn't like partygirls, also I decided returning to more healthy habits, going to sleep early and waking up early. I think it is good to experience night life, but you will meet more meaningful romantic partners at day time activities. Also I don't drink alcohol, this makes you an outsider in the night life.
For what it's worth, I don't drink either - I still prefer going wtih friends though - I like the vibe of having mates to laugh with in between aproaches.
I agree with you. It's such a waste of time and 99.999% of the time, it just creates shallow relations. Cafes could be a better alternative than bars. I would rather prefer an introvert girl versus party/bar girls.
@@aabbbeebbb1211same here!!! I keep thinking about it and I’m realizing I think rather meet a girl at the gym or the park or Starbucks instead because I’m so introverted and I can go to bars with people here and there but I don’t think I can match the energy of girls there all the time ya know. I want a sweeter, more shy girl who is somewhat introverted like me. So in this case I might have to rely on dating apps, idk how I’ll meet girls out and about when I’m so shy 😭😭😭
Good for me because I love to explore and actually put in the effort to improve myself, I'm going to try this strategy to night though it's way out of my comfort zone but that's what makes it more interesting.
early in the evening before it get packed, andIf the Bartender is awake and good he/she will keep a conversation with the people who sit at the bardisck he will keep a conversation and involve everyone in it. then you start chatting with the other guest's and go from there
This actually worked for me the second time I went out alone. Talked to these two women, acted as their wingman, then they did the same for me. Felt a little cucked, but just went along with it for practice and fun.
Hmm interesting idea. As a shy social awkward guy I've been thinking about going to the pub to try and meet new people but my awkwardness/wierdness has always made me nervous. This is one idea that I will probably have to try though.
I always preferred going out alone. I’m a little more or a loner person although I have my good friends but I just want to go relax and often talk to them just to make conversation but if it goes further it does. It’s my time to push myself and enjoy other people’s company
IVE DONE IT SEVERAL TIMES AND ITS BEEN SOME OF THE MOST AMAZING EXPERIENCES, FUN AND REALITY WOMEN DIDINT EVEN CARE IF I WAS ALONE; I LOVE WOMEN SO MUCH THIS WAS NEVER A PROBLEM FOR ME, TALKING TO SOME GUYS RANDOMLY AT THE START OF THE NIGHT HELPS
My friends are not conducive to this so I think this is my option. I had a pretty good first attempt. Talked to an attractive woman for like 3 hours didnt ask for the number though maybe was surprised at the success. I chose a bar where most ppl are like...older, she and i were the only younger ppl so that made it easy.
Getting "primed": good, hard cardio workout on stair climber. Maxing heartrate, full sweat. Gets the energy flowing & gets me hype. Without strenuous physical activity in a day.. FLAT & low energy. Puts a major dent in approaches.
Can confirm getting "adopted" by a female friend group is usually one of the best ways to get your night going. Works with guy groups too but its true that girls are usually more up for the idea of being wingwoman for you.
This definitely works and I’ve gotten a lot of women by wingwomen but now what happens when I don’t have that … l’m working on doing it completely my self, that’s what l’m lacking.. I’ve become to reliant on needing a buddy to go out
I do this and everyone ignores me, I enjoy myself anyway. One time I tried talking to a bartender, which normally is a good means of conversation and I heard one of their colleagues saying to them "just ignore him and he'll go away" lol.
That was my result when I was younger. Every girl would turn her back to me and ignore me if I tried talking to them, and groups would turn their back to me in an unbreakable huddle and all ignore me if I tried talking to them. Now I'm old, and trying to force myself to approach. I don't know if My results will be the same or worse. Watching guys at the clubs, I now believe you have to be carrying more muscle mass than 90% of guys there, to not get ignored by a woman. She basically has to feel that you could realistically beat up any guy that tries to defend her, there. It's a primitive part of our brain, the same with chimps, you'll see the "alpha" that get's female chimp attention is by far the biggest chimp. I've been lifting as heavy as I can now for 15 years, with good nutrition, but I'm still not sure it's enough. The guys I see getting attention at bars and clubs have steroid level amounts of muscle. Not possible natty.
It used to be easy to handle rejections but with time I didn’t even stick around to find out if they “might” say yes. Them saying yes is a preliminary to you most likely getting stood up, the date going wrong, waisting morre time and emotions on something that’s not important, etc. if you’re gonna do that stuff you have to have a wildly positive mindset and energy that just is more then what most people can handle, and still they get rejected. I don’t have time
Last week I was invited to a friends and family restaurant opening. Ended up talking to a woman that was a music attorney. I wasn't attracted to her but had lots of questions about her business. The following week the owner tells me she couldn't stop talking about me and how interesting I was. Another way is to walk around without a drink in hand and ask how everyone is doing tonight. I always get asked if I'm the owner. I lie and say a partner.
Well for me I go in there feeling confident at bars And also thinking like if I got it like that It helps a lot It works It doesn't matter how we look like You go in like that You are possibly golden
Tone of voice definitely is a huge one because that could make or break the conversation .. what do you guys feel about that …. Conversations that go south usually are due to boring and end on one person trying to get the topic going again when it’s too late
I do it all the time. Its easy. Talk to them like you talk to male friends but stay on the female friendly topics. Theres no tricks. Make a comment or ask a question about something. If youre afraid youre going to sound stupid youre not going to go anywhere. That dont matter. Talk to whoever is next to you. Be friendly to everyone as if you kniw them then be sneaky and talk to a woman. Make a joke. Dont go witb the mindset that you will meet someone. You're there to have fun. Thats it.
I'm thinking about doing this next weekend but I guess I don't know how to really approach a group of women. Not going to stop me from trying but I don't want to strike out immediately.
not drinking helped. having to drive there forces you to avoid alcohol so you can drive back. Do some street approaches before you go into a bar. Stand at the bar. Do not sit at a table.
Dive bars and karaoke bars. People are there to have a great time. If you go alone, often random people will start talking to you. You're less intimidating outside of a group. Also, I'd encourage talking to the men too, because you're just being social with strangers. Which is huge.
My issue is, I feel like I am "bothering" girls with the simplest, most incent approach. How do I get over that? Is that a confidence think or an empathy thing? Also, attractive girls are almost never alone. How do you approach a pair of girls? Thanks
Yeah that's a hard one.. Because it's a form of rejection sensitivity - it's something you have to start to face - the desire not ot 'bother' people is likely coming up in many other areas of your life - it's often wise to tackle the lower level cases such as 'bothering' your co-worker to change a behaviour that's problematic for you before looking to women in a bar.
Nothing ever worked for me to lessen social anxiety. Besides, those times I did approach went badly. I finally settled on never going out of my way to approach at all, although I went out alone countless times. And my conclusion was that it seemed clear that women don't want to be approached anyway, hence the constant rejection and ego-damaging rejections they respond with. There have to be better ways to meet women than clubs and bars.
I have always gone out on my, always where the opposite clothes to everyone else, walk in slowly, if feel overwhelmed,find a seat, compose yourself, try not to look at anyone, wait for favourite song come,hit the dance, girls move towards, pick out the most attractive and flirt with her, other girls will hit on, when this happens leave the dance, watch girl's who are looking for, go up to them, chat for 5 minutes, and say there's a girl over there I really fancy, If strop, push, you, there yours, always play women off with one another, It always works, always go for the best looking woman, because men are afraid to approach, them, other women think, what's he got, create effects with clothes, it's possible to get women, without talking to them,, through drawing them in on the dance floor, every girl I've got ,I've done it this away, Guys will sneer at you, women have pushed me on the dance floor, ignore, don't let them intimidated you. Global man
@@brianprice5152 And what if, like me and tons of other guys, you don't dance? And the answer is not dancing lessons, because some of us can never be cut out to dance. In fact, I find it a bizarre activity that I could never attempt or subject myself to. In fact, I find dancing quite ridiculous.
There in lies your problem, you are too stuck up. Im also not a fan of dancing, however i can recognize that this is mostly because im petrified of judgement from other people. If you really think about it, dancing is anything but stupid and unecessary, just look at the animal kingdome and just how many animals have mating dances.
Our first question concerning the value of a book, a man, or a piece of music is: Can it walk? Or still better: Can it dance.. Just bump around on songs you like, if theres none you arnt in the right place
I go out alone multiple times a week. How do I stay motivated? The alternative is solitary confinement. It's like the lottery if you don't play you won't win, and yes you can play your entire life and not win. THAT is exactly what going out alone is like.
I always go solo. Choose a bar which is full of people so they hardly notice you standing alone. Stand by the counter where people place orders. Only approach based on the situation,like someone drinking same drink as you. Be willing to walk away without approaching or winning. Make it part of your life/fun.
I envy the guys who enjoy going solo - I mosly only ever do it when I'm travelling - I have a good system for myself (in this video) but I always prefer doing it with friends if I have the option.
Guys if you are into a sport or something and going out, try wearing your fav team's shirt, i struggle with talking to new people but surprisingly i have the shirt move has had several conversations going
Totally agree, works perfectly ... when 'on the road' or travelling. But does this also work in the hometown? Although I enjoy going out alone (and be very successful at it) in other cities, I can't bring myself to do it in my hometown. Too scared to be rejected in front of people I know. Ironically I kinda live like a recluse in my hometown, hardly leave the house, and yet somehow I know a whole lot of people there. So how do I get over this strange anxiety when wanting to play a homegame? Or is it just a matter of not giving a damn?
That's trickier, all my coaching all my own work is done is sizeable cities over 250,000, usually over 500k population - so running into people you know is harder. So I don't know how big your own town is, but if it's small, I could imagine this feeling.
@@SchoolOfAttraction The town's population is 20,000 (with a significant amount of elderly people). I think I'm gonna do a test in a neighbouring village. It's equally small, but I know a lot less people there. If I go in with the same mindset as when I'm travelling, this might become successful.
At last! A guy that recognises what I've always called "the solo mission". The success rates are through the roof. In my glory days, I always did this. My line was "I was supposed to meet my friends here and they all stood me up this evening. Now I'm on my own" Most women just want to save you and take you under their wing. "Come and join us" was almost always the response. It was always a winning strategy. My best nights out were those "solo missions" Nice video man! New subscriber for sure!
Hey! Yeah totally! It was mind blowing when I first started experiencing it.
Damn, this is an absolute killer line tho
I’m going to have to try that one. I always feel like I need an excuse for being alone at a bar. I always feel awkward and end up leaving after a few drinks.
@@SchoolOfAttraction "busy being proud of myself". Yes that is a brilliant part of the momentum.
Someone give this man a gold trophy
I love going out alone. It absolutely forces you to talk to girls. If you’re with your friends, your brain uses that as an excuse. What I always do is just go out without any expectations, and definitely to a place that is entertaining for me. And I just talk to everyone, men, women, whatever. It gets you in a free and easy mood.
This is such a great mindset to have! If more guys felt this way, they'd have a much easier time.
Yeah man I would hide by my friends who would never meet anyone and it would feel awkward to meet people when they are in the background looking at me.
It is much better to go out alone. I have many friends that I will bump into at clubs from a history of going out alone and meeting people.
It sounds counter intuitive but as a non drinker going to bars and drinking socially actually improved my life. I was so fucking lonely just smoking weed on my back porch before that.
The first 1,000 rejections is a warm up
😂
Unless you get tossed in jail after 28.
@@dale116dot7 yep
And after that therapy.
@@paulcooper5748 yeah be more feminin it will help 🤣
The trick is the mindset you bring with you to the bar. Don't go to the bar to meet a hookup, just go to have fun. So if you don't find a hookup you can stay motivated by reminding yourself that just talking to people, even if it doesn't click, is more fun than staying home alone :)
This is good advice - I agree fun first - always.
100% Jonathan, I used this technique to improve my confidence, my conversation technique and my flirting skills, it also gives you a great insight in to the female psyche and that is 110% gold dust.
@@alanrennox7340 yes true. Experience is key.
Going to a bar alone is never more fun than staying home LOL
However It'll get old quick if you don't score.
Go out with the intention of sharpening your social skills, and having new experiences. This way, you take the pressure of yourself, and know that it's a win no matter what happens. Getting more experience is the key.
CAN CONFIRM, THIS WORKS!
I went out today and followed the steps in this video. Ended up hanging out the entire evening with a group of three super cool girls and we went to a few bars. Even got a number from another cute girl in one bar. Try it ou guys, going out alone and just having fun is addicting!
I don’t have that problem I own two hotels one in New York and Spain so I am in the business. I always go out alone hit a bar early and usually have my meal at the bar. I have style and money #1 wear a wedding ring. That is the best approach I project I am taken and I am not picking up. The rest is ABRACADABRA 😂🎉!!!
Damn, this is Reverse psychology, Dude. I''ll try this also next time. By the was, Most of the time I do solo game too, because so I'm 100percent responsible for the result of my actions.@@yellowquantum4240
@@yellowquantum4240 Hello, you say you wear a wedding ring, is it because you're married, or is it a trick you're using to be more succesful towards women who like chasing married men ?
@@Heimrik01 I was married to a French woman I messed up big time I never took my ring off. Today works in airports, bars is a taboo thing that women are attracted too. I never have the lonely dude look I work on frame , workout, tons of hobbies plus now financially solid. People want what can not have!
"Without solitude, no great work is achieved." ~Pablo Picasso
If Picasso or the masters A list ( today) would be playing tennis in a country club and bar hopping no Picasso, Newton, Da Vinci, Einstein, Jesus....etc I like Virginia Wolf 🤓
listen to the modern lovers song about him. “he could walk down the street and girls could not resist his stare… pablo picasso never got called an ahole… not like you” 😂
@@SK-le1gm I never appreciated Picasso's art, until I met an artist, from France, that idolized him. Antoine was the most artistic person I ever met! And if he thought Picasso was awesome, I had to think again.
My favorite quote of Pablo's is
"Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist!" 😎🤙
The magnum opus and philosophers stone are both one and the same. This is an internal work
The lead is the imperfect you and the gold is the realized individual.
This process once realized is worth more than gold.
By far
Stay warm my friends
Don't go to the bar for the hookup go with the mindset you are going to interact and be social with people and if you meet some new friends or a possible hookup that's the icing on the cake.
its fun going there just looking for sex. tell the truth. that can be fun too! ahah
Hey man, love the strategy, super clever, one thing I think worth mentioning too is once you find a group of women to help you, from an outside perspective, it looks like one guy hanging out with a bunch of girls, which makes you seem much more attractive to every other girl in the venue
Yeah for sure, this is another positive element to it
Super smart strategies man. Its so important to not be too direct in the search. Just having fun shows so much attractiveness and going in alone is so confident. Women vouching for for your validity as an honest person helps so much!
My first girlfriend i met when going out and i got dragged and dropped into circles of women having fun together, i was introduced, and i could just feel the fear of needing to prove im not a creep slip right off. The most intimate period in my life started after that night out meeting lots of women with no stress and it just clicked with the right one.
*It's great to see someone embrace going out solo and making the most of it. I appreciate the advice on being genuine and confident; it’s a reminder that the right mindset can lead to great connections!*
Your channel is super underrated dude. Honestly some of the most creative and unique ideas and content I’ve seen on dating, keep up the good work!
Man likes some good jazz music as well. Always appreciate good backing music.
Thanks a lot Michell!
Don't really have a main group to go out with on a Friday night on a weekly basis. Definitely gotta give it a go.
No fun
@@robertwilson7736no fun going alone?
@@mr.bhewjew3212 no it isn't if your looking for girls they seem to have a problem with it puts them off
Went out with full intentions to do what you described. I failed and sat in the corner. Hope to be better next time
Mate congrats for just trying! Try again and keep working on it - we've all been there :)
lmao unlucky i was thinking of trying it, nt though
😂
I decided to go out after watching this. It was already midnight. Went to many clubs alone. Approached a bunch of girls. Got three instagrams and good short conversations. It was not perfect, but I did have a nice experience just facing the challenge of approaching random girls. I'm sure I can keep honing this skill. I think it was pretty good to have done this without thinking it twice.
And now? Are you married? Do you have children?
No, but I'm jacked and I'm making good money. My relationships haven't been the best, but every time I've learned something. On my side I've been doing things right.
Don’t take instagrams brodie 😭😭😭
@@IAmTheRealHim yeah... maybe whatsapp. I'm tired of dating to be honest. I've met a lot of people but not of a high human quality. I don't know if it's this generation or what.
@@ivanyoedit’s definitely this awful generation and social media poisoning our minds
Going out to the club tonight and tomorrow solo. Wish me luck.
good luck!
Howd it go
Hey Lee, I am a 24-year-old college student who goes clubbing alone every Friday without drinking alcohol at all! This has been one of my hobbies since mid 2022. I was not always entertained, but I did collect some nice experiences.
This strategy is really good. It’s a mental exercise of what to do with that time. Things will come naturally and a sense of well-being and freedom will arise and suddenly you’ll end up talking to women you’ll end up being attracted too
Went out to a bar last weekend. I was more interested in seeing the blues musician who was performing more than trying to meet a woman. I was the youngest in the bar was mostly older people. One older guy observed this and asked me. Told him i was there to see the performer play and he was happy to see a younger guy appreciate blues music. From there i just started talking to more people and eventually got to talk to the singer and guitarist of the band. It was an awesome experience! If you are a music fan its good to go to bars where there will be live music. Easy to make observations that can lead to conversation material.
This is good to know. I love all types of music. I always feel as if I need something to focus on that grabs my attention. Live music would be it.
I travel solo. When I'm in a bar I don't approach I just have small talk with people who sit close to me. I'm not hitting on them I'm just chatting.
the strategies you give here seem criminally good might try friday
How did you do?
straight confidence my guy go to a bar for yourself don't focus on meeting someone and eventually someone asks you up
Yes I’m actually considering trying this approach. My friends are too held up in their own lives to go out with me and I was resisting the idea of going out alone as ‘sad’. After seeing this it changed my mind. There’s a local high street to where I live that I’m going to try on Friday to see how it goes. Wish me luck!
Good luck!
I go out alone all the time. I have a lot of friends…but they can sometimes bog things down or go sideways.
I love going out by myself and chatting women up. Love the idea about warming up first and calling someone. Makes total sense.
This man thinks just like I do. The difference is that I motivate myself for various reasons. It can be through an experimental playfulness (what would happen? What can I do differently? How can I use psychology?). I wanted to play with this concept of getting into social states. Just like a Big Mac has layers to it, there’s more. To motivate myself to put that idea into practice I started NoFap. It really creates a sense of urgency to go out and talk to women 😅 Going out tonight. I’ve been building confidence in approaching groups of tables. I just started small with trying to say hello to large groups in cafes. Your video gives me a template to work with.
I also went alone and it was the best night of my life. But I'm very social so I met new people right away.
As a single guy who goes out 98% of the time by himself and sober at that I can attest to everything you've said, good advice.
What are you drinking when going out alone?
I have been going out by myself to clubs/ concerts but dont manage the courage to speak to girls. I turn up in my own world but know i have a shot with women. The longer i procrastinate I end up too drunk for flirting and the night is over and im still alone at the end of it. Definitely a flaw on my part and it’s because i get intimidated and blank out on being chill and not too nervous i feel. Really just trying to have a good time but your advice definitely helped me out, will try it friday
Count 3...2...1...and approach. I am doing this strategy in everything in my life (need to go study? 3...2...1..do it!) so when I go to the club it just feels natural. you still need to have the balls but it does help a bit.
Man this is exactly how it would go if I would go out alone.
I feel like I just read a short story about myself. I just go out for the sake of going out and getting out of the house. Some nights I have fun and other times I’m ready to go back to my quiet apartment lol!
The fear never go away, you need to simply confront it. Start by training your brain to the feeling by having short casual conversations on a regular basis. That is talk to strangers ALL THE TIME. And don’t discriminate, be the guy who talks to everybody. Smile more. And always be extra polite to service people in stores/bars/cleaners and so on, give a extra « have a great day 🤗🌅». Learn to Be the guy who makes peoples day 👍😄.
Show interest en people by asking about they’re lifes. You will see that they briten up with smiles 😄. This in turn will rub of on you, the females around will see « where that man stands is where the smiles and fun is».
Simple. I feel energized and super confident-pretty much like I own the night. I also go to places where I know from the security to the owners so occasional goers notice I’m allowed in private areas and hug and fist bump all the staff and the band members playing that night (I know most of them). I focus on having fun talking to and drinking with the bartenders and bar managers. All of the sudden, you’ll notice girls and guys gravitate toward you. It’s just natural. They’ll compliment you on your style (I look like a rock star-no joke) and often take pictures with you. It’s actually a lot of fun. Sometimes I also go with my female friends who are good looking. That also helps a lot. I realize this will not be the experience for everyone but keep in mind that once you’ve done this enough times, it doesn’t even matter if you venture alone in a different city or even abroad (I travel quite a bit). The energy is the same. Long story short, it is all in your mind. If you feel you own the night, you actually do.
I’m at the beginning of a new arch in my going out alone journey. Because I too have dreaded it in the past. But I’m an ok singer who loves the stage more than anything in the world. So the way I stay motivated is… it literally doesn’t matter if I screw up with women… my reason there is the stage and that enables me to not take any interaction too seriously. Plus I kill it up in the stage so my self esteem doesn’t take as big of a hit as elsewhere.
I think the key is... to treat the women as your mates, talk to them like a mate and guaranteed you will succeed. I dont have to use bars to do this you can use any setting... I race motorcycles and go on my own to trackdays, its perfect for working on your social skills. Years ago I would of had massive anxiety but now I don't care at all. Rejection is another one... dont look at rejection as failure look at it as a win... because you approached that girl in the first place. Its all about repetition and Rome wasn't built in a day
Women are children with boobs, thus treat them like they were children.
Treating them like your mates will bring you into the friend zone.
im bricking it but i think im gonna try this in about a week, thanks for the advice, the pain of regret of never doing it is worse than the potential failure
Yeah man, we never really regret the things we try and fail, but we always regret the things we never tried.
Holy damn xD this sounds genious!! and the best part is that if your not lucky with finding someone to flirt with etc. there is much lower threshold to just beeing friends with some girl gang, friends is worth it too! great tip! thx!!
Cheers mate, yeah it's a lot of fun on mulitple levels
@@SchoolOfAttraction Thx for anser man! you had most success at dance clubs or more bar ish with lower music, maybe to hard to talk in the clubs?
Yeah - I always avoid dance clubs - unless I'm going for salsa/bachata dancing - I look more for bars / cocktail bars / classy bars where ther emusic isn't too loud but the women are classier.
Yep. I remember trying this in Sydney, Australia, immediately after reading The Game by Neil Strauss. I had a great time and made some new friends.
Are you married now? Have you got children?
I’m a pickup artist out of OC.
I go out alone all the time. If I’m at a bar, honestly all it takes is live music. I pretend like I already know everyone there and eventually I’ll start vibing.
It all has to do with your mood. If you feel weird, then weird shit will happen to you. Conversely, if you self amuse, people and woman will be drawn to you.
Great video man. Subscribed! I didn't think I had anything to add, but I just remembered...
Where I live in the UK, there is a park with an "outdoor gym" - a few bits of very robust gym equipment that anyone can jump on and use. I've just moved to the area - 180 miles from my last home, and I know noone. I suddenly had the bright idea to work out in this park-gym 3 or 4 times a week. I hope to meet people, not just women. I have been twice so far, and it's been totally empty, LOL. However, the equipment is surprisingly good, so I'm motivated to continue - I ached this morning after yesterday's workout. I'm a fit 57 y/o. I figured, that if I meet anyone in this setting they will be also health orientated. I'm not interested in going to bars, because I'm not into drinking. I'm not teatotal, just don't don't enjoy the stuff very often. I might try cafes though, and maybe adapt some of your ideas... Cheers.
Cheers mate! Always nice to see new subscribers!
I have A LOT of approach anxiety and my friends are all very shy/not confident so going out with them is a fun night but never around girls. since last summer i started out going alone and been getting more results by just going to the same dive bar consistently. I think the familiarity of the setting, knowing the bartenders and other regulars puts me at ease. I can immediately start a conversation with any of the regulars when there is a lull in activity or talk to the bartenders who i would consider all if not friends, at least good acquaintances.
Yeah, knowing some people even if they aren't friends makes hte whole process so much easier! Good on you for pushing yourself to just get active - it's not easy in the beginning.
Good advice! I always used the “get settled in” excuse and never talked to anyone.
I started this process about 10 months ago. One of your videos where you talked about socializing with everyone was super helpful. Early on I'd watch or listen to it over and over, in my car before going into social spaces. I made a conscious choice at that time to go out every single night to a social space, which eventually became bars/clubs. The anxiety is mostly long gone but I still feel awkward in those place. Some of the stuff still seems too overwhelming to attempt so far. But I can go in anywhere and feel at complete peace knowing I belong where ever I'm at, which is hugely different than before and for most of my life
That's so amazing to hear bud! Thank you so much for sharing
Going out alone is a great adventure. Your own capacity is the limiting factor. This is all mental. And malleable with knowledge and determination.
Something I've realised is when I'm 4 drinks in I stop caring about how I feel, I had a family meet up party, first in over like 15 years, now I'm 22 I can hold and start conversations with family I don't know. I saw a girl around my age and thought well I have no romantic feelings whatsoever since she's my cousin and I'd like to know the family my age, 6 drinks in a finally stopped caring how bad I am at conversations and spoke, got the others our age in aswell and it was amazing. I used to think alcohol was stupid but it really gives me confidence, I'm lucky in a way I guess because once I'm drunk I don't seem to get worse the more I drink, I just become happy and talkative but I still feel self awareness to a degree I know not to spout something rude or offensive
Careful now.
I'm a bit older than you are right now. So I remember being younger and having also these happy and talkative effects when drinking alcohol. Now I've noticed somehow that effect has gone and it just makes me drunk and slightly aggressive. I have noticed that same effect happening to people my age and older. Which is why ive toned it down with the drinking to not be THAT guy.
That is rare indeed
Gentlemen, I have always done this with success even way before all these influencers. If a woman and her gf come up to you and ask you to come sit and talk, DO IT. Even if you don't find her all that attractive. Trust me, other women will notice how you treat this woman and her friends. This will make you seem friendly and approachable.
I've been going to bars alone for years. No woman has ever approached me, much less invited me to sit with her.
@@JohnSmith-ns6dp do you make yourself approachable?
@@zacharyball8009 I think so?
I hate online dating I don’t believe people can click organically through a screen so I decided to start going to bars alone recently as most of my friends are either married with kids or don’t drink etc
I have no issue approaching women with mates in my early 20s but found it challenging alone in my late 20s i will take try what you’ve said a few times and with abit of luck I might have a few good stories to tell thank you for the advice brother
I relate to you brother. I can deal with online dating but I fucking hate messaging lol so I just have little patience for it. I naturally always go out solo though and always have because I don't need a strategy, I'm extremely extraverted and I go out always dressing casually yet I stand out because I take care of myself I always keep myself groomed, and i wear T-shirts for instance that are of the adult novelty type ya know you have seen them , I'm wearing one right now that says " shit show supervisor" , last concert i went too it was ' who ate all the pussy". Etc. And I stand out like the gentleman said in the video but TOO the men and women because the chicks are like thinking" this guy is crazy, he is confident as fuck but he is smiling and seems very approachable " and the dudes that are single hate it, they already cant handle that they are outnumbered and have to compete for pussy, now some dude walked in who is cooler then them and wearing socks and sandles when all of them are wearing their trying to get laid look at me shit, its clear to all of them that I won't care if I don't pull anything that night I'm just here to meet good people and get buzzed and shoot pool and if I meet someone good 👍, but i let them come to me and make no attempt to go any farther with any woman there besides basic chit chat being polite and smiling and saying hi. Since all the other dudes are just chasing and I'm sitting there by myself reading a book or what not all the single women in the bar are aware of me and see me sitting alone they are just either testing me, confused thinking maybe I'm gay or waiting for my date/ gf, figure I'm not single since I'm not pursuing the women, or are just to scared or have to much pussy ego pride to simply just sit down next to me and ask for my name or God help me buy me a man a drink lol. They don't grasp but you do that if one of them did( and they have ) it's extremely flattering to me and I'm really impressed by the courage and feel special, wouldnt you, remember the whole area is watching because I'm by myself reading a book with a shirt on that says " im bringing back Netflix and chill" hahaha, so if anything now im interested And im going to take the lead and get that number and ask her out, but before anything I let her know how genuinely thankful I am of her simply breaking the ice FOR ME and letting me feel comfortable that I won't be laughed at or embarrassed if I ask her out. Make sense? Hope that helps. 😊😊
I've done that a few times myself, the quick answer to deal with anxiety for me was getting drunk enough that you are still able to speak while "drowning" the anxiety.
That usually works for me
Thats a difficult fine line to tread
I’ve moved to a mining town in remote WA, I’ll give this a go.
Guys, last night was probably the best night in a while… let me tell you. I haven’t went out like that by myself in a long time. Mainly because I lost the confidence. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is this man, knows very well what he’s talking about. Listen to him, because this is my first time ever going to a clun EVER. He got me to sleep with a girl in her own house! 😂😂😂 (not boasting)
This video is worth GOLD.
It took me a long time. But the first step for me is making sure I look my best. Then once I get a couple drinks in me I'm more relaxed. I like going to places I'm familiar with too. After that you're just enjoying your time alone listening to music and vibing out. Most people will assume you're there with someone anyway. But if you're looking and feeling good someone will always approach you.
Yeah 100%
Someone will not always approach you lol. Get real my guy.
Women don't approach. Not even for the hot guys. Men have to do the approaching.
Right. I think I should go back to that. Having no expectation and just have fun. Social medias have destroyed those normal organic human interactions.
This sounds like a great strategy. Definitely will try it out.
His advice actually sounds fun!
Going out to a bar on my own tonight for the first time. Dating is becoming more and more competitive these days, and I figured that if you don't make a move, not much will happen!
How did it go?
@@ItsStribe Im rollin now 😎😎
@@2xfreestyle459 wym
After my divorce and a couple of covid years I re-engaged the party scene at 34. I alternatively went with friends and alone. Actually I prefered going alone, because you meet new people and don't have to deal with group pressure or expectations. My biggest successes I had with women, was going alone. But I always went to the same clubs and bars, because I was attracted to a specific typ of people and music. So I ended up knowing a lot of people, but these were rather superficial acquaintances. It turned of to be a disadvantage. First of all the pool of people going to the bars refreshes seldom, and seeing the same people over and over again makes cautious. I once talked to a guy with more experience and he said, "if you want to hook up with girls, don't go to familiar places, try new territory." He is totally right. 2 month ago I stopped going out. It became futile, because I realized I didn't like partygirls, also I decided returning to more healthy habits, going to sleep early and waking up early. I think it is good to experience night life, but you will meet more meaningful romantic partners at day time activities. Also I don't drink alcohol, this makes you an outsider in the night life.
For what it's worth, I don't drink either - I still prefer going wtih friends though - I like the vibe of having mates to laugh with in between aproaches.
I agree with you. It's such a waste of time and 99.999% of the time, it just creates shallow relations.
Cafes could be a better alternative than bars. I would rather prefer an introvert girl versus party/bar girls.
@@aabbbeebbb1211same here!!! I keep thinking about it and I’m realizing I think rather meet a girl at the gym or the park or Starbucks instead because I’m so introverted and I can go to bars with people here and there but I don’t think I can match the energy of girls there all the time ya know. I want a sweeter, more shy girl who is somewhat introverted like me. So in this case I might have to rely on dating apps, idk how I’ll meet girls out and about when I’m so shy 😭😭😭
Good for me because I love to explore and actually put in the effort to improve myself, I'm going to try this strategy to night though it's way out of my comfort zone but that's what makes it more interesting.
early in the evening before it get packed, andIf the Bartender is awake and good he/she will keep a conversation with the people who sit at the bardisck he will keep a conversation and involve everyone in it. then you start chatting with the other guest's and go from there
This actually worked for me the second time I went out alone. Talked to these two women, acted as their wingman, then they did the same for me. Felt a little cucked, but just went along with it for practice and fun.
I regularly go out alone to club's, never tried to actually be friend with a group of girls and not flirt with them, gonna try it this friday!
Keep us posted!
it is hard to do my friend but I will try
thanks for sharing
Hmm interesting idea. As a shy social awkward guy I've been thinking about going to the pub to try and meet new people but my awkwardness/wierdness has always made me nervous. This is one idea that I will probably have to try though.
Im doing it going to a bar where theres a dancefloor and pool tables. Go with the intent to play some games, stay if the vibe is right.
Some good ideas, thanks!
just moved cities. gonna be trying this out some weeks in a row. will update with results
I often go out alone but i always bump into someone i know, i dont look for it , i find it easy talking to strangers ,humour works a treat 👍
I always preferred going out alone. I’m a little more or a loner person although I have my good friends but I just want to go relax and often talk to them just to make conversation but if it goes further it does. It’s my time to push myself and enjoy other people’s company
Man, you're a rare and lucky breed to enjoy going out alone. I can do it but I never enjoy it as much as with friends.
IVE DONE IT SEVERAL TIMES AND ITS BEEN SOME OF THE MOST AMAZING EXPERIENCES, FUN AND REALITY WOMEN DIDINT EVEN CARE IF I WAS ALONE; I LOVE WOMEN SO MUCH THIS WAS NEVER A PROBLEM FOR ME, TALKING TO SOME GUYS RANDOMLY AT THE START OF THE NIGHT HELPS
im going solo tonight bud hahahah im a bit nervous but im going to try to pull thru
don't give a fuck. light up a cigar have a drink by my self and just relaxing enjoying the time. Wolves don't need company
My friends are not conducive to this so I think this is my option. I had a pretty good first attempt. Talked to an attractive woman for like 3 hours didnt ask for the number though maybe was surprised at the success. I chose a bar where most ppl are like...older, she and i were the only younger ppl so that made it easy.
Go to a bar around 3 or a bit after, the lunch crowd is usually gone and the drinkers and afternoon regulars begin to show up
I find these tips to be reasonable and effective
Getting "primed": good, hard cardio workout on stair climber. Maxing heartrate, full sweat. Gets the energy flowing & gets me hype. Without strenuous physical activity in a day..
FLAT & low energy. Puts a major dent in approaches.
Can confirm getting "adopted" by a female friend group is usually one of the best ways to get your night going. Works with guy groups too but its true that girls are usually more up for the idea of being wingwoman for you.
only if you are really really handsome
This definitely works and I’ve gotten a lot of women by wingwomen but now what happens when I don’t have that … l’m working on doing it completely my self, that’s what l’m lacking.. I’ve become to reliant on needing a buddy to go out
"Wingmam" lol
I do this and everyone ignores me, I enjoy myself anyway. One time I tried talking to a bartender, which normally is a good means of conversation and I heard one of their colleagues saying to them "just ignore him and he'll go away" lol.
That was my result when I was younger. Every girl would turn her back to me and ignore me if I tried talking to them, and groups would turn their back to me in an unbreakable huddle and all ignore me if I tried talking to them. Now I'm old, and trying to force myself to approach. I don't know if My results will be the same or worse.
Watching guys at the clubs, I now believe you have to be carrying more muscle mass than 90% of guys there, to not get ignored by a woman. She basically has to feel that you could realistically beat up any guy that tries to defend her, there. It's a primitive part of our brain, the same with chimps, you'll see the "alpha" that get's female chimp attention is by far the biggest chimp.
I've been lifting as heavy as I can now for 15 years, with good nutrition, but I'm still not sure it's enough. The guys I see getting attention at bars and clubs have steroid level amounts of muscle. Not possible natty.
These are some legit tips damn
Cheers Benjamin!
It used to be easy to handle rejections but with time I didn’t even stick around to find out if they “might” say yes. Them saying yes is a preliminary to you most likely getting stood up, the date going wrong, waisting morre time and emotions on something that’s not important, etc. if you’re gonna do that stuff you have to have a wildly positive mindset and energy that just is more then what most people can handle, and still they get rejected. I don’t have time
Last week I was invited to a friends and family restaurant opening. Ended up talking to a woman that was a music attorney. I wasn't attracted to her but had lots of questions about her business. The following week the owner tells me she couldn't stop talking about me and how interesting I was. Another way is to walk around without a drink in hand and ask how everyone is doing tonight. I always get asked if I'm the owner. I lie and say a partner.
Yeah most people are happy to be social with someone who isn't constnatly trying to get something from them other than just to have fun and connect.
Great vid brother. I can tell you’ve learned from some of the greats
Well for me I go in there feeling confident at bars And also thinking like if I got it like that It helps a lot It works It doesn't matter how we look like You go in like that You are possibly golden
Try lounges and more up scale places. Works in Manhattan. I do it often.
Putting this here to commit, im going out alone!
good on you!
So, did you go?
Tone of voice definitely is a huge one because that could make or break the conversation .. what do you guys feel about that …. Conversations that go south usually are due to boring and end on one person trying to get the topic going again when it’s too late
I do it all the time. Its easy. Talk to them like you talk to male friends but stay on the female friendly topics. Theres no tricks. Make a comment or ask a question about something. If youre afraid youre going to sound stupid youre not going to go anywhere. That dont matter. Talk to whoever is next to you. Be friendly to everyone as if you kniw them then be sneaky and talk to a woman. Make a joke. Dont go witb the mindset that you will meet someone. You're there to have fun. Thats it.
Well said!
I'm thinking about doing this next weekend but I guess I don't know how to really approach a group of women. Not going to stop me from trying but I don't want to strike out immediately.
not drinking helped. having to drive there forces you to avoid alcohol so you can drive back. Do some street approaches before you go into a bar.
Stand at the bar. Do not sit at a table.
YEah good advice as well.
Great advise!
Dive bars and karaoke bars. People are there to have a great time. If you go alone, often random people will start talking to you. You're less intimidating outside of a group. Also, I'd encourage talking to the men too, because you're just being social with strangers. Which is huge.
Oooh I haven't tried this before but sounds like it could be fun
Sh1thole bars are always the most fun i agree...just be careful you dont end up in a sausage fest lol
My issue is, I feel like I am "bothering" girls with the simplest, most incent approach. How do I get over that? Is that a confidence think or an empathy thing? Also, attractive girls are almost never alone. How do you approach a pair of girls? Thanks
Yeah that's a hard one.. Because it's a form of rejection sensitivity - it's something you have to start to face - the desire not ot 'bother' people is likely coming up in many other areas of your life - it's often wise to tackle the lower level cases such as 'bothering' your co-worker to change a behaviour that's problematic for you before looking to women in a bar.
I used to do this in my 20s all the time women always approached me
Nothing ever worked for me to lessen social anxiety. Besides, those times I did approach went badly. I finally settled on never going out of my way to approach at all, although I went out alone countless times. And my conclusion was that it seemed clear that women don't want to be approached anyway, hence the constant rejection and ego-damaging rejections they respond with. There have to be better ways to meet women than clubs and bars.
I have always gone out on my, always where the opposite clothes to everyone else, walk in slowly, if feel overwhelmed,find a seat, compose yourself, try not to look at anyone, wait for favourite song come,hit the dance, girls move towards, pick out the most attractive and flirt with her, other girls will hit on, when this happens leave the dance, watch girl's who are looking for, go up to them, chat for 5 minutes, and say there's a girl over there I really fancy,
If strop, push, you, there yours, always play women off with one another,
It always works, always go for the best looking woman, because men are afraid to approach, them, other women think, what's he got, create effects with clothes, it's possible to get women, without talking to them,, through drawing them in on the dance floor, every girl I've got ,I've done it this away,
Guys will sneer at you, women have pushed me on the dance floor, ignore, don't let them intimidated you.
Global man
@@brianprice5152 And what if, like me and tons of other guys, you don't dance? And the answer is not dancing lessons, because some of us can never be cut out to dance. In fact, I find it a bizarre activity that I could never attempt or subject myself to. In fact, I find dancing quite ridiculous.
@@KpxUrz5745 Maybe women don't like you specifically
There in lies your problem, you are too stuck up. Im also not a fan of dancing, however i can recognize that this is mostly because im petrified of judgement from other people.
If you really think about it, dancing is anything but stupid and unecessary, just look at the animal kingdome and just how many animals have mating dances.
Our first question concerning the value of a book, a man, or a piece of music is: Can it walk? Or still better: Can it dance..
Just bump around on songs you like, if theres none you arnt in the right place
I go out alone multiple times a week. How do I stay motivated? The alternative is solitary confinement. It's like the lottery if you don't play you won't win, and yes you can play your entire life and not win. THAT is exactly what going out alone is like.
I always go solo. Choose a bar which is full of people so they hardly notice you standing alone. Stand by the counter where people place orders. Only approach based on the situation,like someone drinking same drink as you. Be willing to walk away without approaching or winning. Make it part of your life/fun.
I envy the guys who enjoy going solo - I mosly only ever do it when I'm travelling - I have a good system for myself (in this video) but I always prefer doing it with friends if I have the option.
Guys if you are into a sport or something and going out, try wearing your fav team's shirt, i struggle with talking to new people but surprisingly i have the shirt move has had several conversations going
Thank you for this great advice my friend 🙏🙏
Any time!
OK I'm taking notes...
I find getting tipsy before going to the bar helps a lot lmao
For real, I take shooters before I even go to the mall. I got social anxiety and I’m a introvert 😭
I enjoy going out for a beer on my own. 😊
It forces you out of your comfort zone. When you’re with buddies it’s easy to stay in your comfort zone and just hang out
Absolutely, well said
It's time. let's goooo
Great video. Channeling House-Cat-asking-for-breakfast vibes @ 2:09
Totally agree, works perfectly ... when 'on the road' or travelling. But does this also work in the hometown?
Although I enjoy going out alone (and be very successful at it) in other cities, I can't bring myself to do it in my hometown. Too scared to be rejected in front of people I know. Ironically I kinda live like a recluse in my hometown, hardly leave the house, and yet somehow I know a whole lot of people there. So how do I get over this strange anxiety when wanting to play a homegame? Or is it just a matter of not giving a damn?
That's trickier, all my coaching all my own work is done is sizeable cities over 250,000, usually over 500k population - so running into people you know is harder. So I don't know how big your own town is, but if it's small, I could imagine this feeling.
@@SchoolOfAttraction The town's population is 20,000 (with a significant amount of elderly people).
I think I'm gonna do a test in a neighbouring village. It's equally small, but I know a lot less people there. If I go in with the same mindset as when I'm travelling, this might become successful.
Great Video!