How I Learned To Go To A Bar Alone And Meet Women
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 มิ.ย. 2024
- I want to share how spent a few months creating a strategy to help me become successful in approaching women in bars all alone.
Going out to a bar alone has always sounded like one of the scariest possible ways to meet women to date, but now that I've come up with a 3 step strategy - some of my best nights ever were going out solo.
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School Of Attraction
Dating And Relationship Coach
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The first 1,000 rejections is a warm up
😂
Unless you get tossed in jail after 28.
@@dale116dot7 yep
And after that therapy.
@@paulcooper5748 yeah be more feminin it will help 🤣
At last! A guy that recognises what I've always called "the solo mission". The success rates are through the roof. In my glory days, I always did this. My line was "I was supposed to meet my friends here and they all stood me up this evening. Now I'm on my own" Most women just want to save you and take you under their wing. "Come and join us" was almost always the response. It was always a winning strategy. My best nights out were those "solo missions" Nice video man! New subscriber for sure!
Hey! Yeah totally! It was mind blowing when I first started experiencing it.
Damn, this is an absolute killer line tho
I’m going to have to try that one. I always feel like I need an excuse for being alone at a bar. I always feel awkward and end up leaving after a few drinks.
@@SchoolOfAttraction "busy being proud of myself". Yes that is a brilliant part of the momentum.
Someone give this man a gold trophy
"Without solitude, no great work is achieved." ~Pablo Picasso
If Picasso or the masters A list ( today) would be playing tennis in a country club and bar hopping no Picasso, Newton, Da Vinci, Einstein, Jesus....etc I like Virginia Wolf 🤓
The trick is the mindset you bring with you to the bar. Don't go to the bar to meet a hookup, just go to have fun. So if you don't find a hookup you can stay motivated by reminding yourself that just talking to people, even if it doesn't click, is more fun than staying home alone :)
This is good advice - I agree fun first - always.
100% Jonathan, I used this technique to improve my confidence, my conversation technique and my flirting skills, it also gives you a great insight in to the female psyche and that is 110% gold dust.
@@alanrennox7340 yes true. Experience is key.
Going to a bar alone is never more fun than staying home LOL
However It'll get old quick if you don't score.
Something I've realised is when I'm 4 drinks in I stop caring about how I feel, I had a family meet up party, first in over like 15 years, now I'm 22 I can hold and start conversations with family I don't know. I saw a girl around my age and thought well I have no romantic feelings whatsoever since she's my cousin and I'd like to know the family my age, 6 drinks in a finally stopped caring how bad I am at conversations and spoke, got the others our age in aswell and it was amazing. I used to think alcohol was stupid but it really gives me confidence, I'm lucky in a way I guess because once I'm drunk I don't seem to get worse the more I drink, I just become happy and talkative but I still feel self awareness to a degree I know not to spout something rude or offensive
I love going out alone. It absolutely forces you to talk to girls. If you’re with your friends, your brain uses that as an excuse. What I always do is just go out without any expectations, and definitely to a place that is entertaining for me. And I just talk to everyone, men, women, whatever. It gets you in a free and easy mood.
This is such a great mindset to have! If more guys felt this way, they'd have a much easier time.
Go out with the intention of sharpening your social skills, and having new experiences. This way, you take the pressure of yourself, and know that it's a win no matter what happens. Getting more experience is the key.
Just started this last night and hope to make it regular. I zipped through three bars and had a lot of fun taking in the sights, smiling at strangers and chatting with staff. Better than staying inside by myself!
I don’t recommend drinking to find love but if you are going to do this anyway be the quiet broody guy sitting by themselves. Don’t look thirsty. Drink slow. If you get a smile wait a split second then smile back. The anticipation is like a worm they will come to you. If she is still looking and smiling wave you’re hand in the come here form and just wait patiently. Don’t get excited. Stay cool. Let her do most of the talking. Do not make the mistake of showing no interest. The bar is the one place where playing it too cool will get you rejected. Don’t compliment her physically features it will make you seem like every other weak dude hiding a stiffy under the table. Instead try something like my God you have a sexy voice or I just noticed when you smile your eyes wrinkle and it looks adorable. If she gets to cocky and starts treating you like your weak compliment an article of clothing then look down at her shoes and react like your trying to hold back disapproval like a harumph/sheesh/oh no/ etc. The shoe fear will strike her heart so dearly she will be forced to try and impress you again. Use her attention to Segway to her friends or another woman. If you can’t use the article of clothing Segway just look down at her shoes and act confused like and elongated aaahhh? Then look over her shoulder for a second like you see someone else. Then look back at her and smile and come up with a topic switch. She has to answer under pressure but she feels unsafe because her shoes might be ugly the only way to solve this is to earn you adoration again. Women are like aliens compared to us. They really do feel and think very different.
CAN CONFIRM, THIS WORKS!
I went out today and followed the steps in this video. Ended up hanging out the entire evening with a group of three super cool girls and we went to a few bars. Even got a number from another cute girl in one bar. Try it ou guys, going out alone and just having fun is addicting!
I don’t have that problem I own two hotels one in New York and Spain so I am in the business. I always go out alone hit a bar early and usually have my meal at the bar. I have style and money #1 wear a wedding ring. That is the best approach I project I am taken and I am not picking up. The rest is ABRACADABRA 😂🎉!!!
Damn, this is Reverse psychology, Dude. I''ll try this also next time. By the was, Most of the time I do solo game too, because so I'm 100percent responsible for the result of my actions.@@yellowquantum4240
@@yellowquantum4240 Hello, you say you wear a wedding ring, is it because you're married, or is it a trick you're using to be more succesful towards women who like chasing married men ?
@@Heimrik01 I was married to a French woman I messed up big time I never took my ring off. Today works in airports, bars is a taboo thing that women are attracted too. I never have the lonely dude look I work on frame , workout, tons of hobbies plus now financially solid. People want what can not have!
Don't go to the bar for the hookup go with the mindset you are going to interact and be social with people and if you meet some new friends or a possible hookup that's the icing on the cake.
its fun going there just looking for sex. tell the truth. that can be fun too! ahah
Super smart strategies man. Its so important to not be too direct in the search. Just having fun shows so much attractiveness and going in alone is so confident. Women vouching for for your validity as an honest person helps so much!
My first girlfriend i met when going out and i got dragged and dropped into circles of women having fun together, i was introduced, and i could just feel the fear of needing to prove im not a creep slip right off. The most intimate period in my life started after that night out meeting lots of women with no stress and it just clicked with the right one.
I travel solo. When I'm in a bar I don't approach I just have small talk with people who sit close to me. I'm not hitting on them I'm just chatting.
This sounds like a great strategy. Definitely will try it out.
Great Video!
I love going out by myself and chatting women up. Love the idea about warming up first and calling someone. Makes total sense.
Thank you for this great advice my friend 🙏🙏
Any time!
His advice actually sounds fun!
Such a great video! and it made me motivated! :)
I'm so glad!
I always go solo. Choose a bar which is full of people so they hardly notice you standing alone. Stand by the counter where people place orders. Only approach based on the situation,like someone drinking same drink as you. Be willing to walk away without approaching or winning. Make it part of your life/fun.
I envy the guys who enjoy going solo - I mosly only ever do it when I'm travelling - I have a good system for myself (in this video) but I always prefer doing it with friends if I have the option.
Went out to a bar last weekend. I was more interested in seeing the blues musician who was performing more than trying to meet a woman. I was the youngest in the bar was mostly older people. One older guy observed this and asked me. Told him i was there to see the performer play and he was happy to see a younger guy appreciate blues music. From there i just started talking to more people and eventually got to talk to the singer and guitarist of the band. It was an awesome experience! If you are a music fan its good to go to bars where there will be live music. Easy to make observations that can lead to conversation material.
This is good to know. I love all types of music. I always feel as if I need something to focus on that grabs my attention. Live music would be it.
it is hard to do my friend but I will try
thanks for sharing
Great video man. Subscribed! I didn't think I had anything to add, but I just remembered...
Where I live in the UK, there is a park with an "outdoor gym" - a few bits of very robust gym equipment that anyone can jump on and use. I've just moved to the area - 180 miles from my last home, and I know noone. I suddenly had the bright idea to work out in this park-gym 3 or 4 times a week. I hope to meet people, not just women. I have been twice so far, and it's been totally empty, LOL. However, the equipment is surprisingly good, so I'm motivated to continue - I ached this morning after yesterday's workout. I'm a fit 57 y/o. I figured, that if I meet anyone in this setting they will be also health orientated. I'm not interested in going to bars, because I'm not into drinking. I'm not teatotal, just don't don't enjoy the stuff very often. I might try cafes though, and maybe adapt some of your ideas... Cheers.
Cheers mate! Always nice to see new subscribers!
Your channel is super underrated dude. Honestly some of the most creative and unique ideas and content I’ve seen on dating, keep up the good work!
Man likes some good jazz music as well. Always appreciate good backing music.
Thanks a lot Michell!
Good advice! I always used the “get settled in” excuse and never talked to anyone.
Great vid brother. I can tell you’ve learned from some of the greats
This video is worth GOLD.
Don't really have a main group to go out with on a Friday night on a weekly basis. Definitely gotta give it a go.
No fun
Good for me because I love to explore and actually put in the effort to improve myself, I'm going to try this strategy to night though it's way out of my comfort zone but that's what makes it more interesting.
That’s genius! I’m gonna try that the next time I’m going out! I feel my friends’ indecisivenesses about the place, the time, the motivation, and the approach are demotivating me.
Warm up strategy: approach as soon as you’re in and do 3-4 approaches in a row. With every approach praise yourself for doing the approach despite the outcome.
After 4 approaches like this you’ll be in a flow state and can approach any group of girls.
After 10 approaches like this you’ll be in a super flow state and can approach girls, guys, and girls in a group of guys.
Without flow state you see obstacles, but in the super flow state you see even tiniest opportunities where a girl is getting bored with her guy friends!
Perfect mate - give it a try! it can be a lot of fun
I often go out alone but i always bump into someone i know, i dont look for it , i find it easy talking to strangers ,humour works a treat 👍
These are some legit tips damn
Cheers Benjamin!
straight confidence my guy go to a bar for yourself don't focus on meeting someone and eventually someone asks you up
I’ve moved to a mining town in remote WA, I’ll give this a go.
This strategy is really good. It’s a mental exercise of what to do with that time. Things will come naturally and a sense of well-being and freedom will arise and suddenly you’ll end up talking to women you’ll end up being attracted too
After my divorce and a couple of covid years I re-engaged the party scene at 34. I alternatively went with friends and alone. Actually I prefered going alone, because you meet new people and don't have to deal with group pressure or expectations. My biggest successes I had with women, was going alone. But I always went to the same clubs and bars, because I was attracted to a specific typ of people and music. So I ended up knowing a lot of people, but these were rather superficial acquaintances. It turned of to be a disadvantage. First of all the pool of people going to the bars refreshes seldom, and seeing the same people over and over again makes cautious. I once talked to a guy with more experience and he said, "if you want to hook up with girls, don't go to familiar places, try new territory." He is totally right. 2 month ago I stopped going out. It became futile, because I realized I didn't like partygirls, also I decided returning to more healthy habits, going to sleep early and waking up early. I think it is good to experience night life, but you will meet more meaningful romantic partners at day time activities. Also I don't drink alcohol, this makes you an outsider in the night life.
For what it's worth, I don't drink either - I still prefer going wtih friends though - I like the vibe of having mates to laugh with in between aproaches.
I’m at the beginning of a new arch in my going out alone journey. Because I too have dreaded it in the past. But I’m an ok singer who loves the stage more than anything in the world. So the way I stay motivated is… it literally doesn’t matter if I screw up with women… my reason there is the stage and that enables me to not take any interaction too seriously. Plus I kill it up in the stage so my self esteem doesn’t take as big of a hit as elsewhere.
OK I'm taking notes...
It's time. let's goooo
the strategies you give here seem criminally good might try friday
How did you do?
I started this process about 10 months ago. One of your videos where you talked about socializing with everyone was super helpful. Early on I'd watch or listen to it over and over, in my car before going into social spaces. I made a conscious choice at that time to go out every single night to a social space, which eventually became bars/clubs. The anxiety is mostly long gone but I still feel awkward in those place. Some of the stuff still seems too overwhelming to attempt so far. But I can go in anywhere and feel at complete peace knowing I belong where ever I'm at, which is hugely different than before and for most of my life
That's so amazing to hear bud! Thank you so much for sharing
Great video. Channeling House-Cat-asking-for-breakfast vibes @ 2:09
Great tips well done lol
I’m a pickup artist out of OC.
I go out alone all the time. If I’m at a bar, honestly all it takes is live music. I pretend like I already know everyone there and eventually I’ll start vibing.
It all has to do with your mood. If you feel weird, then weird shit will happen to you. Conversely, if you self amuse, people and woman will be drawn to you.
This man thinks just like I do. The difference is that I motivate myself for various reasons. It can be through an experimental playfulness (what would happen? What can I do differently? How can I use psychology?). I wanted to play with this concept of getting into social states. Just like a Big Mac has layers to it, there’s more. To motivate myself to put that idea into practice I started NoFap. It really creates a sense of urgency to go out and talk to women 😅 Going out tonight. I’ve been building confidence in approaching groups of tables. I just started small with trying to say hello to large groups in cafes. Your video gives me a template to work with.
I decided to go out after watching this. It was already midnight. Went to many clubs alone. Approached a bunch of girls. Got three instagrams and good short conversations. It was not perfect, but I did have a nice experience just facing the challenge of approaching random girls. I'm sure I can keep honing this skill. I think it was pretty good to have done this without thinking it twice.
And now? Are you married? Do you have children?
No, but I'm jacked and I'm making good money. My relationships haven't been the best, but every time I've learned something. On my side I've been doing things right.
just moved cities. gonna be trying this out some weeks in a row. will update with results
im bricking it but i think im gonna try this in about a week, thanks for the advice, the pain of regret of never doing it is worse than the potential failure
Yeah man, we never really regret the things we try and fail, but we always regret the things we never tried.
I also went alone and it was the best night of my life. But I'm very social so I met new people right away.
I find these tips to be reasonable and effective
Yep. I remember trying this in Sydney, Australia, immediately after reading The Game by Neil Strauss. I had a great time and made some new friends.
Are you married now? Have you got children?
Simple. I feel energized and super confident-pretty much like I own the night. I also go to places where I know from the security to the owners so occasional goers notice I’m allowed in private areas and hug and fist bump all the staff and the band members playing that night (I know most of them). I focus on having fun talking to and drinking with the bartenders and bar managers. All of the sudden, you’ll notice girls and guys gravitate toward you. It’s just natural. They’ll compliment you on your style (I look like a rock star-no joke) and often take pictures with you. It’s actually a lot of fun. Sometimes I also go with my female friends who are good looking. That also helps a lot. I realize this will not be the experience for everyone but keep in mind that once you’ve done this enough times, it doesn’t even matter if you venture alone in a different city or even abroad (I travel quite a bit). The energy is the same. Long story short, it is all in your mind. If you feel you own the night, you actually do.
Try lounges and more up scale places. Works in Manhattan. I do it often.
I do it all the time. Its easy. Talk to them like you talk to male friends but stay on the female friendly topics. Theres no tricks. Make a comment or ask a question about something. If youre afraid youre going to sound stupid youre not going to go anywhere. That dont matter. Talk to whoever is next to you. Be friendly to everyone as if you kniw them then be sneaky and talk to a woman. Make a joke. Dont go witb the mindset that you will meet someone. You're there to have fun. Thats it.
Well said!
I WILL TRY
Will try some of your idea bro
Have fun
Well for me I go in there feeling confident at bars And also thinking like if I got it like that It helps a lot It works It doesn't matter how we look like You go in like that You are possibly golden
IVE DONE IT SEVERAL TIMES AND ITS BEEN SOME OF THE MOST AMAZING EXPERIENCES, FUN AND REALITY WOMEN DIDINT EVEN CARE IF I WAS ALONE; I LOVE WOMEN SO MUCH THIS WAS NEVER A PROBLEM FOR ME, TALKING TO SOME GUYS RANDOMLY AT THE START OF THE NIGHT HELPS
Yoooh! Ok… okokokok… (deep inhale, long exhale…) genius.
I have A LOT of approach anxiety and my friends are all very shy/not confident so going out with them is a fun night but never around girls. since last summer i started out going alone and been getting more results by just going to the same dive bar consistently. I think the familiarity of the setting, knowing the bartenders and other regulars puts me at ease. I can immediately start a conversation with any of the regulars when there is a lull in activity or talk to the bartenders who i would consider all if not friends, at least good acquaintances.
Yeah, knowing some people even if they aren't friends makes hte whole process so much easier! Good on you for pushing yourself to just get active - it's not easy in the beginning.
Hey man, love the strategy, super clever, one thing I think worth mentioning too is once you find a group of women to help you, from an outside perspective, it looks like one guy hanging out with a bunch of girls, which makes you seem much more attractive to every other girl in the venue
Yeah for sure, this is another positive element to it
This is genius
Holy damn xD this sounds genious!! and the best part is that if your not lucky with finding someone to flirt with etc. there is much lower threshold to just beeing friends with some girl gang, friends is worth it too! great tip! thx!!
Cheers mate, yeah it's a lot of fun on mulitple levels
@@SchoolOfAttraction Thx for anser man! you had most success at dance clubs or more bar ish with lower music, maybe to hard to talk in the clubs?
Yeah - I always avoid dance clubs - unless I'm going for salsa/bachata dancing - I look more for bars / cocktail bars / classy bars where ther emusic isn't too loud but the women are classier.
mmmm... Ok my boy. I gotta put this in my plans. Thanks
im going solo tonight bud hahahah im a bit nervous but im going to try to pull thru
I have been going out by myself to clubs/ concerts but dont manage the courage to speak to girls. I turn up in my own world but know i have a shot with women. The longer i procrastinate I end up too drunk for flirting and the night is over and im still alone at the end of it. Definitely a flaw on my part and it’s because i get intimidated and blank out on being chill and not too nervous i feel. Really just trying to have a good time but your advice definitely helped me out, will try it friday
Count 3...2...1...and approach. I am doing this strategy in everything in my life (need to go study? 3...2...1..do it!) so when I go to the club it just feels natural. you still need to have the balls but it does help a bit.
Man this is exactly how it would go if I would go out alone.
I feel like I just read a short story about myself. I just go out for the sake of going out and getting out of the house. Some nights I have fun and other times I’m ready to go back to my quiet apartment lol!
The fear never go away, you need to simply confront it. Start by training your brain to the feeling by having short casual conversations on a regular basis. That is talk to strangers ALL THE TIME. And don’t discriminate, be the guy who talks to everybody. Smile more. And always be extra polite to service people in stores/bars/cleaners and so on, give a extra « have a great day 🤗🌅». Learn to Be the guy who makes peoples day 👍😄.
Show interest en people by asking about they’re lifes. You will see that they briten up with smiles 😄. This in turn will rub of on you, the females around will see « where that man stands is where the smiles and fun is».
I go out alone all the time. I have a lot of friends…but they can sometimes bog things down or go sideways.
early in the evening before it get packed, andIf the Bartender is awake and good he/she will keep a conversation with the people who sit at the bardisck he will keep a conversation and involve everyone in it. then you start chatting with the other guest's and go from there
I think the key is... to treat the women as your mates, talk to them like a mate and guaranteed you will succeed. I dont have to use bars to do this you can use any setting... I race motorcycles and go on my own to trackdays, its perfect for working on your social skills. Years ago I would of had massive anxiety but now I don't care at all. Rejection is another one... dont look at rejection as failure look at it as a win... because you approached that girl in the first place. Its all about repetition and Rome wasn't built in a day
Women are children with boobs, thus treat them like they were children.
Treating them like your mates will bring you into the friend zone.
Solo is always the move.
I wish I enjoyed solo as much as I do with friends, but I always have much more fun with friends - if they aren't there, then fine this solo strategy is my go-to - I'm envious of guys like you who enjoy doing it alone.
I regularly go out alone to club's, never tried to actually be friend with a group of girls and not flirt with them, gonna try it this friday!
Keep us posted!
Getting "primed": good, hard cardio workout on stair climber. Maxing heartrate, full sweat. Gets the energy flowing & gets me hype. Without strenuous physical activity in a day..
FLAT & low energy. Puts a major dent in approaches.
Went out with full intentions to do what you described. I failed and sat in the corner. Hope to be better next time
Mate congrats for just trying! Try again and keep working on it - we've all been there :)
lmao unlucky i was thinking of trying it, nt though
😂
Gentlemen, I have always done this with success even way before all these influencers. If a woman and her gf come up to you and ask you to come sit and talk, DO IT. Even if you don't find her all that attractive. Trust me, other women will notice how you treat this woman and her friends. This will make you seem friendly and approachable.
I've been going to bars alone for years. No woman has ever approached me, much less invited me to sit with her.
@@JohnSmith-ns6dp do you make yourself approachable?
@@zacharyball8009 I think so?
You could say something playful like, "Well, it appears my friends have embarked on a top-secret mission, and they forgot to tell me the password to the rendezvous point. So here I am, all solo like a spy on a coffee break!" This adds a humorous twist to the situation and makes light of being stood up.
This actually worked for me the second time I went out alone. Talked to these two women, acted as their wingman, then they did the same for me. Felt a little cucked, but just went along with it for practice and fun.
Going out to the club tonight and tomorrow solo. Wish me luck.
good luck!
Howd it go
It took me a long time. But the first step for me is making sure I look my best. Then once I get a couple drinks in me I'm more relaxed. I like going to places I'm familiar with too. After that you're just enjoying your time alone listening to music and vibing out. Most people will assume you're there with someone anyway. But if you're looking and feeling good someone will always approach you.
Yeah 100%
Someone will not always approach you lol. Get real my guy.
Women don't approach. Not even for the hot guys. Men have to do the approaching.
I hate online dating I don’t believe people can click organically through a screen so I decided to start going to bars alone recently as most of my friends are either married with kids or don’t drink etc
I have no issue approaching women with mates in my early 20s but found it challenging alone in my late 20s i will take try what you’ve said a few times and with abit of luck I might have a few good stories to tell thank you for the advice brother
I relate to you brother. I can deal with online dating but I fucking hate messaging lol so I just have little patience for it. I naturally always go out solo though and always have because I don't need a strategy, I'm extremely extraverted and I go out always dressing casually yet I stand out because I take care of myself I always keep myself groomed, and i wear T-shirts for instance that are of the adult novelty type ya know you have seen them , I'm wearing one right now that says " shit show supervisor" , last concert i went too it was ' who ate all the pussy". Etc. And I stand out like the gentleman said in the video but TOO the men and women because the chicks are like thinking" this guy is crazy, he is confident as fuck but he is smiling and seems very approachable " and the dudes that are single hate it, they already cant handle that they are outnumbered and have to compete for pussy, now some dude walked in who is cooler then them and wearing socks and sandles when all of them are wearing their trying to get laid look at me shit, its clear to all of them that I won't care if I don't pull anything that night I'm just here to meet good people and get buzzed and shoot pool and if I meet someone good 👍, but i let them come to me and make no attempt to go any farther with any woman there besides basic chit chat being polite and smiling and saying hi. Since all the other dudes are just chasing and I'm sitting there by myself reading a book or what not all the single women in the bar are aware of me and see me sitting alone they are just either testing me, confused thinking maybe I'm gay or waiting for my date/ gf, figure I'm not single since I'm not pursuing the women, or are just to scared or have to much pussy ego pride to simply just sit down next to me and ask for my name or God help me buy me a man a drink lol. They don't grasp but you do that if one of them did( and they have ) it's extremely flattering to me and I'm really impressed by the courage and feel special, wouldnt you, remember the whole area is watching because I'm by myself reading a book with a shirt on that says " im bringing back Netflix and chill" hahaha, so if anything now im interested And im going to take the lead and get that number and ask her out, but before anything I let her know how genuinely thankful I am of her simply breaking the ice FOR ME and letting me feel comfortable that I won't be laughed at or embarrassed if I ask her out. Make sense? Hope that helps. 😊😊
Hmm interesting idea. As a shy social awkward guy I've been thinking about going to the pub to try and meet new people but my awkwardness/wierdness has always made me nervous. This is one idea that I will probably have to try though.
Im doing it going to a bar where theres a dancefloor and pool tables. Go with the intent to play some games, stay if the vibe is right.
I've done that a few times myself, the quick answer to deal with anxiety for me was getting drunk enough that you are still able to speak while "drowning" the anxiety.
That usually works for me
Thats a difficult fine line to tread
Can confirm getting "adopted" by a female friend group is usually one of the best ways to get your night going. Works with guy groups too but its true that girls are usually more up for the idea of being wingwoman for you.
only if you are really really handsome
This definitely works and I’ve gotten a lot of women by wingwomen but now what happens when I don’t have that … l’m working on doing it completely my self, that’s what l’m lacking.. I’ve become to reliant on needing a buddy to go out
"Wingmam" lol
I will try this next week😅
I always preferred going out alone. I’m a little more or a loner person although I have my good friends but I just want to go relax and often talk to them just to make conversation but if it goes further it does. It’s my time to push myself and enjoy other people’s company
Man, you're a rare and lucky breed to enjoy going out alone. I can do it but I never enjoy it as much as with friends.
I too establish a base set (a group of people I can hang out with/go back to in-between sets).
I like dance clubs - country or ballroom are the best. Ask one to dance if she says no just say "anyone"? And take the one that says "ok" and show her a great time.
I do this and everyone ignores me, I enjoy myself anyway. One time I tried talking to a bartender, which normally is a good means of conversation and I heard one of their colleagues saying to them "just ignore him and he'll go away" lol.
Tone of voice definitely is a huge one because that could make or break the conversation .. what do you guys feel about that …. Conversations that go south usually are due to boring and end on one person trying to get the topic going again when it’s too late
I'm thinking about doing this next weekend but I guess I don't know how to really approach a group of women. Not going to stop me from trying but I don't want to strike out immediately.
I find getting tipsy before going to the bar helps a lot lmao
Genius
Good pointers, it’s crazy that l’m here watching this video but some people have or had that gift but shit happens and can interrupt that social skill… l’m speaking for my self here but hopefully someone of you guys understand. To get to the point when I was in my teens I always got women and it was never even thought of as l’m thinking about it but for some reason I find. It so hard to project my main goal whether friends or a relationship… I was taking drugs for a while and cleaned my self up naturally but it makes me wanna relapse because I feel awkward… I always think people are judging me and I need to adjust to the vibe … i dont know it’s weird but yeah basically I overthink … I know the solution to my problem but need pointers and that’s my tone of my voice… how can I be more open with others during conversation “hold a conversation” .. I notice the tone of your voice really helps what do you guys think .. this is drunk me don’t mind the ramble
I mean tone of voice is a thing, ,but really what's controlling your tone of voice is your emotional state... If you feel shy and weak, that will impact your tone of voice... if you feel confident and strong, that too will impact your tone of voice etc.
Wait for it, its legen-----dary!😛
Gum is a good method for anxiety for sure.
Last week I was invited to a friends and family restaurant opening. Ended up talking to a woman that was a music attorney. I wasn't attracted to her but had lots of questions about her business. The following week the owner tells me she couldn't stop talking about me and how interesting I was. Another way is to walk around without a drink in hand and ask how everyone is doing tonight. I always get asked if I'm the owner. I lie and say a partner.
Yeah most people are happy to be social with someone who isn't constnatly trying to get something from them other than just to have fun and connect.
It forces you out of your comfort zone. When you’re with buddies it’s easy to stay in your comfort zone and just hang out
Absolutely, well said
I'm defenitively gonna try it, I don't know how is it gonna fly in my country's culture. But I'm excited. I will either fall flat on my face or have and amazing night. But it sure won't be boring haha
Have fun with it!
How’d it go?
Start at quieter venues (bars) before you run into a club. Easier transition + way less jarring once you get into the club
Putting this here to commit, im going out alone!
good on you!
So, did you go?
as an eg I was at a bar the other day and sitting awkwardly at a table because I was early for taking pics of a band. Luckily though I knew a few folk that came in. But this is why I dont normally go out
I always go to a bar alone it's easy to do it just go enjoy yourself don't have a mindset of hooking up or meeting women if you want to dance go dance if want to chat to women go chat to them just enjoy yourself have a few drinks mingle most importantly it's OK to go home alone just having fun is better