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If you're going up against somebody with a mental disorder that has your kids why is it up to the citizen other than the quart to do due diligence and resolve whether that person is mentally fit to take care of a child
Congrats ! Going to court against my narcisstic in laws they believe theyre entitled to their son and i's child even after they physically assulted us and my sons terrified of them. I hope i get as lucky !
1. In writing, documents 2. Video and/or transcript 3. Focus on your own case. 4. Document document 5. Very thorough research 6. Keep emotions in check
I'm a dad that battled a narcissist in court, and I got 90% of what I asked the court for. I was the petitioner, so I went first. When my lawyer asked me the routine questions, I gave detailed compelling answers. When her lawyer started asking questions, her intent was to "lead" me into contradicting my answers and misrepresenting facts. I didn't fall for it. They would ask me a question that I answered, but then I attacked the other side to draw a contrast. This is how you control the narrative and the judges perception. When it was her turn to go, my answers caused the other side to have to defend against my attacks, without knowing the real story. That ended up being a disaster for them, as the judge on multiple accounts got pissed at them. Attacking the other side works, but be classy about it. If you are going to attack the other side, the proper method should be to give examples of things that they did that were not right.
@@4dscdriver thank you for this message, i was feeling hopeless yesterday fearful of the world I was in and that I'd lose my daughter to her abuser. I needed this message
You know its actually worth studying how they fight. Most will not acknowledge your accusations against them before immediately charging you with something first. I have seen several immediately manipulate their way out of criminal charges that were supported by video and picture evidence. When asked how they plead they immediately went on the attack of the other party. Never addressing the charges against them. Judges sometimes get sucked in early when this happens. I think its more important nowadays to learn about mental health issues and behaviors and present the behaviors to the Judge in court. Motion for psych. evals early on and support the motion with lists of behaviors. Also of extreme importance is using language that calls into question the Narcissists " Lack of Insight". This makes Judges aware of this issue and more or less asks them to scrutinze for it during the hearing. This" Lack of insight" argument can not be taken lightly and It is extremely powerful.
Scale how do you do with an attorny that sees no need for evaluation even when I filed for epo!??emergency protective order and now he has some so much damage to the kids. I’ll see you Tommorow and doesn’t show up. We live in a 50/50 state and he wants them last time I checked (as you know they flip Flop!!!) he only wanted them on weekend for 4 days a month.
I'm in Canada; I just won my case doing exactly what you are saying, took a long time but towards the end, I got them off my back..the hardest part, I am not a Narc and I had to act as a cold stone b**
Ive been going back and forth to court for almost a year and he keeps bs'ing. Switching lawyers and what not. Im so over this. I dont even wanna go to court anymore.
I've been filled with despair, feeling deeply depressed and alone, and on the verge of insanity. My trust in everyone and everything (even my own thoughts and reality) has been smashed. Your videos have restored my hope and help bring me back from falling off the edge into insanity. Thank you so much ❤ You're my hero
My ex came undone in court. He pointed his finger at the magistrate and told him how to do his job. He told the magistrate that Im just a woman who has no rights. I didn’t have to do or say anything, he dug his own self righteous grave.
They'll deny it, but who cares? It's the rest of the sane room vs. one mental person in their own little world who makes up their own facts even in the face of damning and solid facts. I don't give a single gosh darn if a literally brain damaged jerk can't see it or won't own up to it, I'm just worried about what's going on in the real world.
My narcissistic ex is trying to avoid videotaping and judge is always helping him, because narcissist is showing himself to the judge as a victim, so the judge ordered - no videotaping
How does my sociopathic narcissist always get away with looking like a victim where she is the one doing all the horrible things she is trying to assign to me.
She is getting away and will continue to get away with it because she plays “victim” in front of everyone and is the aggressor behind closed doors. Unfortunately you will “loose” in the beginning but you will win in the end because society doesn’t believe that women can be that cunning. You just have wait patiently for them to see for the mask to fall off.
Thank you for sharing this information. Most of us nice sweet empaths that find ourselves in these traumatic situations would have absolutely no idea what to do, or how to do it. Thank you!
Tomorrow morning at 815 am in California, this have a custody hearing! My ex of 11 years is a prime example of a narcissist! These videos and the ones done by De. ramani have helped me tremendously in my own mind body and soul! I just hope that tomorrow I remember how to stay calm and control myself and not let my ex gaslight the situation at hand!! 🙏
I'll pray for you but please be prepared for the worst I'm sorry as it happened to me I really thought cause I was the mother that he wouldn't get temporary custody and I have my son Friday Saturday Sunday and Wednesday 5050 custody.. but he won't let me see my son as I won't get back with him....
$32,000 in legal fees, Been to court just one time. Multiple contempt filled against me to run my legal bill. Have 5 children all by myself with monthly child support of less than $450 which comes in late and has not paid since last month. My Attorney dropped me because I can't afford paying him anymore. I have mediation in May. I just have to go pro se. It is very exhausting but family court is blind to see this high conflict people.
@warrior woman look up the Proper Person on TH-cam. Alex went pro se, against someone with a personality disorder, and has a LOT of self help free information for how to fight yourself. Very good. Best of luck!
Perhaps you should consider changing your online name. Warrior Woman comes off as combative, and the opposition will often look up your online activities.
Dear Ma'am, I am so very sorry that this has happened to you. I live in Grand Junction CO and my attorney was Sharon Sturgis; she now lives in Denver CO. I was only charged $4K and she was worth every penny of what she charged me. $32K, How on earth can/did you pay for this, no wonder people run off with children!
Thank you for your advice! My case is done! The key was, the actual truth. My team was organized and everything was well documented in chronological order. This included screenshots of texts and social media, copies of anything and everything possible such as financial statements, computer records, device search history, general data, bills, receipts, etc. The narcissist could not fight the truth. In fact, in the end he actually gave in to all demands and looked physically defeated. From my experience I would suggest anyone trying to divorce a narcissist (or any other) to gather as much information as possible prior to filing. Even if it looks like useless or unrelated information, you’ll be surprised how it all fits together as a whole. The most insignificant looking receipt I found became quite important later on. The narcissist will try to destroy/hide everything possible once you file. Beat them to it!
The narcissist is proned to video tape though. Their tactic? Create drama off camera, then record the re-active state of its victim. Please, do educate yourself on re-active abuse. The narcissist always turns tables.
Yes...totally on point....mine used multiple phone numbers and emails ....he would send provocative text msgs from multiple phone numbers during an argument...or he used emails to start an argument and when I engage he change to text msgs....I felt like I was dealing with the Joker character....
Very true as this just happened to me. My sons grandma showed up to my house and blocked me in so i couldnt leave my own property to avoid a fight so grandma started yanking my car door handles trying to take my son so i started yelling at her bc i dont play games about my son and she had a neighbor record from across the street but only after i reacted to her trying to legit snatch my son and shes an alcoholic so idk if she had been drinking either way grandma is deff a narcisstic and she did exactly what you just said . Flip that mf script .
I followed all your guidelines preparing for almost a year and when we got to the court in front of the judge my lawyer totally chickened out. On top of that I finally realized that not only my ex is a narc but my lawyer as well. That made me sick from my stomach. Right on the spot I decided to settle for less that half of what we were aiming for just to get that scumbag out of my life, period!!!!
A woman on FB support group recommended your videos because they’ve helped her. I’m so grateful for taking her advice and now for your guidance and encouragement. Thank you!
I do appreciate you and the others who detail/ talk about/ give pointers on how to handle narcs. I’ ve experienced both (male & a female). Fortunately I had surrounding evidence (workplace full of people who saw thru them, or experienced their bs first hand). These people alerted me. So when the narc (the female, she taught me everything I know about narcs - unintentionally on her part) saddled up to me. I knew that they like drama, scenes, arguments (done publicly if possible to make the actual attacked party look crazy, while making themselves look sane). So whenever she did something to get a rise out of me. I would act as though I never got her message(s), or actions. I would act as if she hadn’t performed any action at all to rile me up. Messed with her big time, not intentional on my part. She would do things to me and them come to work and watch me for a reaction. She would always be around others in a fake normal conversation hoping I would come up to her all hopping mad while she looks all innocent (like I’m just attacking her out of the blue). I just remembered she liked causing scenes and just avoided them. Also I alerted some of my co-workers as to what was going on between us and they were able to keep us apart (work in different areas). Also from the problems she where she painted herself as the victim I was able to put two and two together to figure out to hold onto stuff/ things that she sent me and to bring them up nonchalantly in conversation....hmmmmm, just like she would. I’m not a narc but I definitely used their own playbook against them. Again whenever she lied I didn’t confront her (she would know I was onto her). I just made a mental note and kept it in mind when dealing with her.
I have EVERYTHING MY Narc took 3 mortgages on our home. And now he lost his 130k year job. He is 13.000 in arrears for spousal support. And i have his credit history and he is running up credit cards and also he opened a Victoria secret credit card. That is for his girlfriend NOT ME!!! im so over his malignant behavior I've only wanted to communicate by email. He will not email me and wants me to text him. Well this is what he got (CRICKETS ) LOL I set boundaries and he ignored my request. I cannot wait until my contempt hearing. Im going to BURY HIM!!! Thanks Rebecca!!! You are AMAZING ❤❤💯
(It’s only when you surround them from all angles they will try start conversation with you and probably a settlement) ... 100% true, I’ve seen it happening in front of my eyes, and that’s when I started dictating my conditions which they had no room but to accept. Thumbs up 👍🏼 Dr.
extra222love OMG that sounds AWESOME! So happy for you. ( they are so arrogant and won't give an inch right up until the end when they are surrounded. THEN they want to talk and make settlement. ) So annoying.
I did this in a hearing against and employer and PHRC..I answered the questions the proctor asked with short and simple answers...even when the former employer interrupted I use the opportunity to shut up and go silent. That put the proctor under pressure to take better control of the hearing. On the way out of the hearing my attorney said to me " I can't believe how professional you where in the hearing". I said that's easy when you are telling the truth ... I won with saying little and sitting still without figiting around ..
This was very informative and easy to understand. As a victim of the Albany County Family Court in New York, specifically Judge Margaret Walsh and Judge Richard Rivera, who don't recognize, believe in or understand Parental Alienation, I haven't been able to have a meaningful relationship with my daughter for over 4 years. Jurists like these are why so many fathers take their lives each and every year due to family court decisions. Thank you for the work you do.
Thanks so much for your tips all of you guys, today was my appointment because of our daughter 1year 8 months old, My Narcissist ex husband really messed up with his behaviour that the judge told him that he needs counselling to learn how to control his anger, first of all he came late to this appointment, his lawyer had to call him, his excuse was he thought the appointment will be at 14:00 instead of 13:00 German time, he was so disorganized, etc.... I proved him wrong with so many evidences, I thanks the Almighty, am so relieved right now.
"Leverage." I found an arrest record where my ex was arrested for possession of marijuana. I'm not sure why the court doesn't run a background check before parents even walk in the room so that they know the basics of what they're dealing with but I think it really did help me when I whipped out the page that showed he was arrested.
@@cliffordkelleher0142 I agree it's not a horrible crime, but it helped me against a horrible, narcissistic, manipulative, raging, lunatic in the moment when I needed it.
I'm so scared of court after I saw how a group narcissistic individual's manipulated the whole court system... too late now, I don't think anything could put it right now . My life would probably never be normal ...
For those who might be a bit skeptical, don't be. She hit the nail right on the head with all she said. When I documented every encounter that I either suspected would be brought up in court or something I needed to bring up, I immediately sent them to my attorney. The encounters I documented were also in-person, so I was able to record audio due to us living in a single-party consent state. I had over two years of recordings she knew nothing about until discovery. As a detective, I had to learn how to anticipate what the defense may bring up. That also helped a lot. As she said, PREPARE FOR BOTH SIDES. You can't focus just on the bad on the other side. You need to focus on the good on your side as well. Mrs. Zung, keep up the great work and keep the videos coming.
Hey Rebecca, I thought of a possible topic that you might provide insight on. "Good faith". We know that a Narcissist wants to argue, manipulate and get their way. Where does the topic of "good faith" fall when co-parenting with this type of personality? When is it safe to discontinue a conversation when it becomes obvious that the Narc is not approaching it in good faith?
Another awesome vid and tips! Keep everything in writing.....emails.... keep video of their behavior.... Love these tips!! Also to focus on keeping your cool since the narcissist will try to upset you. I definitely have to keep conscious of this when doing counseling with someone that has a personality disorder like narcissism. Thanks and take care! :-)
Christian Lamb Inspires these abusive people drop out of therapy or don’t go typically because it’s ya not them. Mine would not even go to the shrink for our children as he doesn’t belvie in it.
Hi Rebecca this is what I really need, in two more days I will be going to court for the first time against my wife who is the abuser and I am a victim of domestic violence. I am seeking restraining order, I have a ton of documentation disposition but I don't know what they will ask me, so I will look at more of your material to prep. Thank you for the material you shared in this video.
wow! I wish you can be my divorce attorney! I love your drive and your knowledge. I am going trough bad times.- the judge set aside the judgment, he never wanted to talk about it and now that he lost he got an attorney.... then the judge said that he did the right thing and that he did care.... so we are setting aside the judgement.. Not fair at all.... so sad...
What if you've made your case strong and done all of those steps and it seems like nothing is getting done in court? I look forward to hearing back from you.
This is Brian Kim Keenan. You are a real Gem! You are very professional and mature and factual. This video is essential to anyone facing off with a narcissist. Absolutely the Best. Thank you so very very much!
I am in Sonoma County, CA. My Narcissist’s lawyer is pals with all the Judges in the Sonoma County Superior Court. In fact, they are BAND MATES in a band called ‘Court’N Disaster’. They all talk to each other about the case. I just asked for a TRO to stop the narc from TRAVELING OUT OF STATE multiple times with my son during Covid! By air! My TRO was denied but what do you know, all of a sudden he canceled his plans to travel with my son to Las Vegas for Thanksgiving. I told NO ONE I was asking for this restraining order, but that morning after the Judge’s decision, the narc cancelled his travel plans AND THEN the next day quoted something verbatim I had written in my declaration. The only person who saw this declaration was the Judge.....
My narcissistic husband underestimated me. He also thought what he had put in the petition was truth since it was written in a legal document. Little did he know about the legal system is actual evidence speaks volumes. Saving texts, photos of assault, phone recordings, etc. While I testified of his abuse I could see in my peripheral his rage building and body language obvious to all. He ended up cursing me out in the courtroom, having a tantrum, admitting to strangulation, punching, kicking me but because “she did this.. she did that and made me”. (Side note: Long story short he had me arrested in that incident. It was immediately rejected by DA) I was given a Final Protective Order and temp sole custody of our son. He is given supervised visits. I was fortunate I had an attorney and he went pro se. I can’t remember how many times the judge told him what he says can be used against him. Especially considering he is facing a second degree assault charge. Like she said DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT! Be your own advocate and rise up against all the pain they put you throughout the years you put up with the abuse. Thank you for your videos, Rebecca. I just found them and prepping for the resolution of this Divorve!
Here in the Uk the legal system works differently and so do the lawyers. Mine has not listened to what I have said he would do and now I find myself having to look for another one in the middle of a divorce for his abuse 😮
Smartest thing i have heard get everything in writing i guarantee the narc won't wanna put anything in writing 100 percent so that's a huge red flag shows how dodgy they are 👍
My narcassistic husband left me 6 wks ago after I caught him out carrying on with somebody he knew. Think it been going on throughout the marriage. He is divorcing me now and blaming me instead for the breakdown ! He is only after the house so I believe as he has told me lots of times previously. Finding this v helpful x
Jane Funnell mine left me when sick and lost my memory to mess with my head when sick and was cheating our daughter found out and hiding money. Blamed me for everything in the marriage. Controlled money and the kids and I lived in 150 a week and he made good money from my father and we had bills like craxy and he was going to fix that problem. Took 18,000 gone and have no idea where it went to??
Jane Funnell it’s all our fault. I apologized to mine for getting sick and we all make some mistakes through out a marriAhe but he seriously denies cheating and we have proof and it’s all my fault I didn’t love him when I was sick. I was so damn sick. How could I do that when could barely walk up steps!? 🤦♀️
Several studies from across the world have demonstrated that narcissism is, at least partly, genetic-in fact, according to a couple of studies, the risk of inheriting narcissism is over 50% in some cases. Narcissism, like other conditions under the behavioral genetics umbrella, is often studied using twins.Sep 11, 2023
truly, on your "file it so it can be heard" I have done that, they set stuff over mine & I never get heard, also, I file Emergency motions, the Court deemed not an emergency, but he files something that wasn't an emergency, but the Court deemed it that way. I have everything, I have 12 plus inches of documents... can't afford help and they are railroading me...
One of the first things I did when I divorced my ex was fire my divorce attorney. Eight months later I had my divorce. I lost a lot but I’m getting it all back
Just recently went through mediation with a narcissist & wow did he flip when I asked that he not use any guns out of the safe, illegal drugs & drinking while our child visits him. I only brought it up bc one of the MANY reasons I left was bc of his immature/irresponsible lifestyle that did not change as we aged. Shortly after I requested that those safety boundaries not be crossed , he started going on about how his family is united & his parents have been married for so many years…..ALL of which had nothing to do with the safety issues of what I brought up. The mediator noted that & said she will pass that request to the judge & then rushed us off the call soon after.
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All of this is good information. Only problem I have is that the commissioner that I am dealing with is racist has been showing favoritism, completely biased and been flirting with my soon to be ex-wife so far I’ve been to court over eight times and I have not been able to speak or address her allegations. he has told me multiple times to be quiet and not talk, but allows her to say whatever she wants even though her lawyer is next to her, I have numerous documents to show she’s lying about everything she saying, and I have not been able to even show a single paper he even told me that I was making faces at him when I was not and even my lawyer asked him. What are you talking about? he has even accuse me of making faces at him when I never did, but I catch him all the time mad doggging me, I don’t know what to do, but I am not being given a fair trial or hearing whatever you call it
A very focused video with great strategies on being successful. I particularly like the idea of keeping everything in writing. This strategy doesn't just work for narcs, but also bosses! 🤣
Thank you so much. I’m currently going through a divorce with a Narcissist, he’s a police officer and his sister (a lawyer) is representing him in his 2nd divorce. I do have a lawyer. Is there a way to stop him from talking bad about me yo friends and family???? And we own a house together, I left him 10 months ago, I’m trying to get an apartment but they want to see his bank account to see that he’s paying the mortgage. I tried to go onto the mortgage company’s website to see if his account info is there but it’s not, is there away yo get around this??? Please Help
Perfect timing, again, Rebecca. Thank you. In an attempt to minimize attorney fees, today, I applied for paralegal positions at estate litigation firms. Any advice on how to negotiate lowered fees & representation as the firm's employee?
My ex is a smart narc, he will send an email that's clean then send me abusive text messages. I started taking screenshots of the text messages. The photo shows the date and time so I can find the text later if I need it.
Thank you I’ve been looking for videos like this for years I’ve been going through a separation with the narc for six years and it’s been hell. He blocked all my attempts at mediation because he doesn’t want to give any kind of financial disclosure and finding a good lawyer is really hard And expensive
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The Court needs to be educated about Narcissism. I lost in court, because the Judge had 15 minutes to deal with us. She did NOT watch the video that could be an incriminating evidence. That video was a threat made by my ex- narc., she dismissed the evidence that my ex impersonated as a police officer to shut me up. Yet, he brainwashed me that he wanted me to visit Hawaii (multiple times). The Judge told him not to pay me back anything. The court system is flawed. I bet my ex is grinning. That grin on his face will not last. I hope he gets his karma.
My narcissist manipulated me to trigger me in a conversation to push me away bc she had started a relationship while still with me. Her daughter called me and told me she was giving all of my belongs to her new boyfriends children. I lost it and threatened her and she put a restraining order on me …. I don’t know if I am able to defend myself. She completely ghosted me. After the trigger conversation. She has all the proof she needs to get this. And now she is able to justify our breakup by taking no accountability for cheating on me. I don’t know what to do
You can screenshot text messages, on iphone press both the lock button and the home button at the same time for anyone that may not know. On other phones I don't know how it works. You may want to wait a couple days so that the date and time stamp are on the text message.
To get him out of the house that is in my name we informally agreed on our marital assets for the most part but I haven't signed anything in an agreement. We were going to just have a mutual lawyer for settling the divorce. However, he had abused me and I have evidence and want it to get checked out medically since I have extended issues from when the abuse took place. It was my understanding that he would carry health insurance until I got the issue of my jaw fixed. He is now pressuring me into other legal docs that I refuse to sign and he is threatening me with taking away insurance. The lawyer I consulted with told me that this is a divorce family court if I want anything regarding the abuse he inflicted on me I will need to get a criminal lawyer too. How does physical abuse by a Narc ever make it to a thriving individual again?
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In my case for like 3 yrs he's lied I want him to loose his shit in court and show his rage instead he's taking it out on the kids our son rather. There's other stuff going Minor they pay for nothing or take to doctor appointments I'm focusing on the kids despite all the other stuff he's done to me I'm documenting the kids behavior and the neglect on his part how can I box them in I think I need to go to trail no choice It's been 4 yrs ago. Your tips are amazing my ex has tried to have direct contact with me I won't agree to it. Only recently I had to for Thanksgiving family was away I only agreed to drop off at my driveway no contact I didn't talk to him I looked out the window to see if he arrived that was it documented he bought a new truck. How is it hes able to a sign a lease if i have to apply for a loan I'm told he has to sign for school loan I'm like abuse there's no way we need to apply a different way. If I get a house I have to disclose. A court reporting I'm hoping he'll loose it in court I won the assets in 2018 he's raking back over it again kids furniture other stuff petty things in spite. I haven't heard from my lawyer I don't understand hows hes gotten away with this. I'm focusing on my case I need to print up more messages there quite a bit how hasn't he not be held in contempt and perjury I don't understand? He's actually lied in court I was blindsided didn't have the evidence at the time. He was late with drop off the only time I had direct 3 hours late he's often late dropping off to my parents place this is how we estange I don't trust him. My ex said he wanted to sudtle, but that wasn't true or the co parenting he only wanted to sudtle if it was only fair on his side which was to take the assets that I bought before we were married. Emotions in check really tough very avoid contact a good idea. I need to be prepared my lawyer hasn't done that It's crazy I know know the route he'll do in trail lies unfortunately and manipulation my daughter we'll be 12 in March he won't get a say in where she decides she wants to go to school she's getting to be old enough she doesn't know the truth tho hes done the smear campaign I haven't told the kids the truth about him I'm not allowed to say anything about him and he has and continues his behavior I know he won't stop his behavior even when we're in trail.
Thank God there are many willing to help upon seeing how badly I was affected and the money spent on seeing professionals. We will watch what he will do or if he repeats his sharing. Many saw the videos. Will decide if this should be here or not later after consulting the legal advisers further.
When I documented everything in my logs, my lawyer said that it was hearsay and would not be effective… is this true? Also it was the lawyer who initiated the idea of documenting which makes me frustrated because of what’s being said in the end!
My older sister is the narcissistic abuser and why I have server C-PTSD and false charges on me she even gets my dad to set me up ,I'm on third public defender waiting on appointment with him and my dad has ask if it's a male or female cause I never told anyone what his name is on purpose and believe she has got to him too ,I'll fire him too ,they believe I'm the poor Lil scared April and they are stepping in it big time so I'm sure the judge is going to ask me why I keep firing the public defender he order to my case ,I need help please
How should a bio Mom, who IS A NARCISSIST, be dealt with after she comes and starts trying to cause trouble after 9 yrs. Thinking because the FATHER IS NOW PASSED AWAY, she has some standing. He had full custody and I am the step- Mom- she did NOT check in with the courts as far as her reunification plan, ordered by the court, or else I suppose she would have follow thru to initiate the supervised visitation somehow some way and really make an effort. She just wrote emails every 3 6 then 9 months then nothing for the last 2 yrs...the child will be 14 in a few days and has NO RELATIONSHIP with her and does not want it..substance abuse & neglect were the issues and in the least alcoholism now, possibly more
In writing everything ! I am a carer for mum and dad . My sister took all the family heirlooms then tried to destroy my mother and me. The tribunal threw the book at her ! She even tried to poison me . For my sanity ive gone no contact after this as she is really evil
I filed a motion for contempt. The case manager can't schedule hearings right now. I'm hoping to have enough time to gather information. Is it ever a problem to say too much in cross-examination? Can you take emails or notes with you on the stand? This is post-divorce, and I am self-representing. I'm assuming that I have a chance to give a final statement, as well as the other party, before the judge makes a decision. TY, TY, TY.⚖️
My narc stepdad destroyed my moms computer with evidence of him threatening to kill her and throw her in the river. He keeps messing with us and I'm trying to help my mom win this because he's very manipulative 😔
I am divorcing a covert narcissist, we are still living under one roof... Staying emotionally stable, is very hard. If you have any tips, they are more than welcome.
Mrs. Rebecca Zung, you said to do thorough research on what the person’s true income is. How can you find that out, if the person refuses to show you their bank records or even tell you?
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What if I can afford a lawyer? I must represent myself
Learning about coparenting apps. Good tip.
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I think your ideology is more based on narcissism and it is functionality in the family courts
If you're going up against somebody with a mental disorder that has your kids why is it up to the citizen other than the quart to do due diligence and resolve whether that person is mentally fit to take care of a child
I WON MY CUSTODY YESTERDAY!!! Thank you, Ms. Zung! This is totally a worthy package of TACTICS.
You must feel amazing. What a weight to be lifted from you.
Congrats ! Going to court against my narcisstic in laws they believe theyre entitled to their son and i's child even after they physically assulted us and my sons terrified of them. I hope i get as lucky !
Halleluyah!!!!!! Pray for the same for me full custody no visitation
Congrats x
Proud of you:)
1. In writing, documents
2. Video and/or transcript
3. Focus on your own case.
4. Document document
5. Very thorough research
6. Keep emotions in check
By following my 4 Step plan, you can win when dealing with narcissism! Learn more >> slay.rebeccazung.com/outsmart-narc 🌟
I'm a dad that battled a narcissist in court, and I got 90% of what I asked the court for. I was the petitioner, so I went first. When my lawyer asked me the routine questions, I gave detailed compelling answers. When her lawyer started asking questions, her intent was to "lead" me into contradicting my answers and misrepresenting facts. I didn't fall for it. They would ask me a question that I answered, but then I attacked the other side to draw a contrast. This is how you control the narrative and the judges perception. When it was her turn to go, my answers caused the other side to have to defend against my attacks, without knowing the real story. That ended up being a disaster for them, as the judge on multiple accounts got pissed at them. Attacking the other side works, but be classy about it. If you are going to attack the other side, the proper method should be to give examples of things that they did that were not right.
The judge ended up giving me nearly everything I asked for; Proof that moms don't always win.
Awesome. Are you to give an example on how detailed compelling answers and how you attacked the other side to draw a contrast? Thanks mate
I am not mentally ready to think of questions my brain is jammed due to abuse
@@4dscdriver thank you for this message, i was feeling hopeless yesterday fearful of the world I was in and that I'd lose my daughter to her abuser. I needed this message
@@gemz2jewlez355 just be careful. These lawyers like trying to twist things.
It’s easy to get caught up in shining the light on the other person’s misdeeds but stay focused on your business
You know its actually worth studying how they fight. Most will not acknowledge your accusations against them before immediately charging you with something first. I have seen several immediately manipulate their way out of criminal charges that were supported by video and picture evidence. When asked how they plead they immediately went on the attack of the other party. Never addressing the charges against them. Judges sometimes get sucked in early when this happens. I think its more important nowadays to learn about mental health issues and behaviors and present the behaviors to the Judge in court. Motion for psych. evals early on and support the motion with lists of behaviors. Also of extreme importance is using language that calls into question the Narcissists " Lack of Insight". This makes Judges aware of this issue and more or less asks them to scrutinze for it during the hearing. This" Lack of insight" argument can not be taken lightly and It is extremely powerful.
@@nonarcsense manipulation is their game
Scale how do you do with an attorny that sees no need for evaluation even when I filed for epo!??emergency protective order and now he has some so much damage to the kids. I’ll see you Tommorow and doesn’t show up. We live in a 50/50 state and he wants them last time I checked (as you know they flip
Flop!!!) he only wanted them on weekend for 4 days a month.
Rebecca Zung, Do you have any tips for going to court where the narc is fighting a protection order?
HOMEFIX-You’ve obviously never dealt with a narcissist and are clueless about the craziness they bring
I'm in Canada; I just won my case doing exactly what you are saying, took a long time but towards the end, I got them off my back..the hardest part, I am not a Narc and I had to act as a cold stone b**
Ive been going back and forth to court for almost a year and he keeps bs'ing. Switching lawyers and what not. Im so over this. I dont even wanna go to court anymore.
@@btfields323 I just read your note. I encourage you to fight.
Good job! I am going after my child support. I was wondering how you found your lawyer to be? Were they honest with fees?
@@btfields323 I'm on my 4th year with my x narcissist in court....
Stay strong! ❤
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I've been filled with despair, feeling deeply depressed and alone, and on the verge of insanity. My trust in everyone and everything (even my own thoughts and reality) has been smashed. Your videos have restored my hope and help bring me back from falling off the edge into insanity. Thank you so much ❤ You're my hero
Stay strong! ❤
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Thank Goodness u didn’t fall off.. because that’s what they want you to do.. u still need to stay on your toes!!
My ex came undone in court. He pointed his finger at the magistrate and told him how to do his job. He told the magistrate that Im just a woman who has no rights. I didn’t have to do or say anything, he dug his own self righteous grave.
I hope it all worked out well for you
👏👏👏
😮
😀😀😀
If he said that you’re a woman who has NO rights, he’s a CHAUVINIST❗️
Using video is so smart. Narcissists try to get away with everything...but if caught on video...they can’t deny it! 😏
@@RebeccaZungEsq in. My experience, actually, they can and do!
They'll deny it, but who cares? It's the rest of the sane room vs. one mental person in their own little world who makes up their own facts even in the face of damning and solid facts. I don't give a single gosh darn if a literally brain damaged jerk can't see it or won't own up to it, I'm just worried about what's going on in the real world.
I have seen a narcissist lie about being identified on camera. Believe me, I thought long and hard only to realize my ex-husband was psychopath.
My narcissistic ex is trying to avoid videotaping and judge is always helping him, because narcissist is showing himself to the judge as a victim, so the judge ordered - no videotaping
@@mvladalenav Just keep it cool.
How does my sociopathic narcissist always get away with looking like a victim where she is the one doing all the horrible things she is trying to assign to me.
mybestideas1,You look cute 🌷,Hope you are not with a narcissist!
I am in the same situation :( my ex always poses as a victim, i'm the villain...and so far he is getting away with it...
She is getting away and will continue to get away with it because she plays “victim” in front of everyone and is the aggressor behind closed doors.
Unfortunately you will “loose” in the beginning but you will win in the end because society doesn’t believe that women can be that cunning. You just have wait patiently for them to see for the mask to fall off.
Thank you for sharing this information. Most of us nice sweet empaths that find ourselves in these traumatic situations would have absolutely no idea what to do, or how to do it. Thank you!
Great advice! Thanks. The narcissist is very dangerous and sly. Fight back!
Tomorrow morning at 815 am in California, this have a custody hearing! My ex of 11 years is a prime example of a narcissist! These videos and the ones done by De. ramani have helped me tremendously in my own mind body and soul! I just hope that tomorrow I remember how to stay calm and control myself and not let my ex gaslight the situation at hand!! 🙏
Hope everything went good 🙏🏿🦋
I'll pray for you but please be prepared for the worst I'm sorry as it happened to me I really thought cause I was the mother that he wouldn't get temporary custody and I have my son Friday Saturday Sunday and Wednesday 5050 custody.. but he won't let me see my son as I won't get back with him....
Stay strong! ❤
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$32,000 in legal fees, Been to court just one time. Multiple contempt filled against me to run my legal bill. Have 5 children all by myself with monthly child support of less than $450 which comes in late and has not paid since last month. My Attorney dropped me because I can't afford paying him anymore. I have mediation in May. I just have to go pro se. It is very exhausting but family court is blind to see this high conflict people.
Oh wow, that is just terrible!
@warrior woman look up the Proper Person on TH-cam. Alex went pro se, against someone with a personality disorder, and has a LOT of self help free information for how to fight yourself. Very good. Best of luck!
Perhaps you should consider changing your online name. Warrior Woman comes off as combative, and the opposition will often look up your online activities.
Dear Ma'am, I am so very sorry that this has happened to you. I live in Grand Junction CO and my attorney was Sharon Sturgis; she now lives in Denver CO. I was only charged $4K and she was worth every penny of what she charged me. $32K, How on earth can/did you pay for this, no wonder people run off with children!
How are you doing?
Thank you for your advice! My case is done! The key was, the actual truth. My team was organized and everything was well documented in chronological order. This included screenshots of texts and social media, copies of anything and everything possible such as financial statements, computer records, device search history, general data, bills, receipts, etc.
The narcissist could not fight the truth. In fact, in the end he actually gave in to all demands and looked physically defeated.
From my experience I would suggest anyone trying to divorce a narcissist (or any other) to gather as much information as possible prior to filing. Even if it looks like useless or unrelated information, you’ll be surprised how it all fits together as a whole. The most insignificant looking receipt I found became quite important later on.
The narcissist will try to destroy/hide everything possible once you file. Beat them to it!
The narcissist doesn't want to look bad,.... kinda like how they say " i don't believe in therapy" wonder why that could be
Stay strong! ❤
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The narcissist is proned to video tape though. Their tactic? Create drama off camera, then record the re-active state of its victim. Please, do educate yourself on re-active abuse. The narcissist always turns tables.
Yes...totally on point....mine used multiple phone numbers and emails ....he would send provocative text msgs from multiple phone numbers during an argument...or he used emails to start an argument and when I engage he change to text msgs....I felt like I was dealing with the Joker character....
My soon to be ex-husband , has been doing this for 13years
Yes! He has done this to me so many times!
Exactly
Very true as this just happened to me. My sons grandma showed up to my house and blocked me in so i couldnt leave my own property to avoid a fight so grandma started yanking my car door handles trying to take my son so i started yelling at her bc i dont play games about my son and she had a neighbor record from across the street but only after i reacted to her trying to legit snatch my son and shes an alcoholic so idk if she had been drinking either way grandma is deff a narcisstic and she did exactly what you just said . Flip that mf script .
I followed all your guidelines preparing for almost a year and when we got to the court in front of the judge my lawyer totally chickened out. On top of that I finally realized that not only my ex is a narc but my lawyer as well. That made me sick from my stomach. Right on the spot I decided to settle for less that half of what we were aiming for just to get that scumbag out of my life, period!!!!
Be careful with male lawyers...a lot are narcissists...
A woman on FB support group recommended your videos because they’ve helped her. I’m so grateful for taking her advice and now for your guidance and encouragement. Thank you!
Sharon McLaren,You look gorgeous 🌹,Hope you are not with a narcissist!
@@jackpetersen7545 not anymore, thank goodness!
@@sharonmclaren6264 You are welcome.I am Jack from USA 🇺🇸.You?
@@sharonmclaren6264 Which country are you from?
@@jackpetersen7545 United States.
This video is direct 🧨 dynamite! Amazing strategies on preparing for success! My biggest takeaway: document, document, document!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥
I do appreciate you and the others who detail/ talk about/ give pointers on how to handle narcs. I’ ve experienced both (male & a female). Fortunately I had surrounding evidence (workplace full of people who saw thru them, or experienced their bs first hand). These people alerted me. So when the narc (the female, she taught me everything I know about narcs - unintentionally on her part) saddled up to me. I knew that they like drama, scenes, arguments (done publicly if possible to make the actual attacked party look crazy, while making themselves look sane). So whenever she did something to get a rise out of me. I would act as though I never got her message(s), or actions. I would act as if she hadn’t performed any action at all to rile me up. Messed with her big time, not intentional on my part. She would do things to me and them come to work and watch me for a reaction. She would always be around others in a fake normal conversation hoping I would come up to her all hopping mad while she looks all innocent (like I’m just attacking her out of the blue). I just remembered she liked causing scenes and just avoided them. Also I alerted some of my co-workers as to what was going on between us and they were able to keep us apart (work in different areas). Also from the problems she where she painted herself as the victim I was able to put two and two together to figure out to hold onto stuff/ things that she sent me and to bring them up nonchalantly in conversation....hmmmmm, just like she would. I’m not a narc but I definitely used their own playbook against them. Again whenever she lied I didn’t confront her (she would know I was onto her). I just made a mental note and kept it in mind when dealing with her.
I have EVERYTHING MY Narc took 3 mortgages on our home. And now he lost his 130k year job. He is 13.000 in arrears for spousal support. And i have his credit history and he is running up credit cards and also he opened a Victoria secret credit card. That is for his girlfriend NOT ME!!! im so over his malignant behavior I've only wanted to communicate by email. He will not email me and wants me to text him. Well this is what he got (CRICKETS ) LOL I set boundaries and he ignored my request. I cannot wait until my contempt hearing. Im going to BURY HIM!!! Thanks Rebecca!!! You are AMAZING ❤❤💯
(It’s only when you surround them from all angles they will try start conversation with you and probably a settlement) ... 100% true, I’ve seen it happening in front of my eyes, and that’s when I started dictating my conditions which they had no room but to accept. Thumbs up 👍🏼 Dr.
extra222love
OMG that sounds AWESOME! So happy for you.
( they are so arrogant and won't give an inch right up until the end when they are surrounded. THEN they want to talk and make settlement. ) So annoying.
I did this in a hearing against and employer and PHRC..I answered the questions the proctor asked with short and simple answers...even when the former employer interrupted I use the opportunity to shut up and go silent. That put the proctor under pressure to take better control of the hearing. On the way out of the hearing my attorney said to me " I can't believe how professional you where in the hearing". I said that's easy when you are telling the truth ... I won with saying little and sitting still without figiting around ..
This was very informative and easy to understand. As a victim of the Albany County Family Court in New York, specifically Judge Margaret Walsh and Judge Richard Rivera, who don't recognize, believe in or understand Parental Alienation, I haven't been able to have a meaningful relationship with my daughter for over 4 years. Jurists like these are why so many fathers take their lives each and every year due to family court decisions.
Thank you for the work you do.
Please take the names of the judges down. Only for your sake. That's so risky. Good luck and don't ever stop fighting for your daughter 💖
Great video Rebecca! I love your tough love approach!
Thanks so much for your tips all of you guys, today was my appointment because of our daughter 1year 8 months old, My Narcissist ex husband really messed up with his behaviour that the judge told him that he needs counselling to learn how to control his anger, first of all he came late to this appointment, his lawyer had to call him, his excuse was he thought the appointment will be at 14:00 instead of 13:00 German time, he was so disorganized, etc....
I proved him wrong with so many evidences, I thanks the Almighty, am so relieved right now.
"Leverage." I found an arrest record where my ex was arrested for possession of marijuana. I'm not sure why the court doesn't run a background check before parents even walk in the room so that they know the basics of what they're dealing with but I think it really did help me when I whipped out the page that showed he was arrested.
Thats not a horrible crime. Violence, fraud and child abuse are bad ones
@@cliffordkelleher0142 I agree it's not a horrible crime, but it helped me against a horrible, narcissistic, manipulative, raging, lunatic in the moment when I needed it.
How were you able to obtain these records? I have a court hearing and need a report
I'm so scared of court after I saw how a group narcissistic individual's manipulated the whole court system... too late now, I don't think anything could put it right now .
My life would probably never be normal ...
God bless you friend
Stay strong! ❤
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For those who might be a bit skeptical, don't be. She hit the nail right on the head with all she said. When I documented every encounter that I either suspected would be brought up in court or something I needed to bring up, I immediately sent them to my attorney. The encounters I documented were also in-person, so I was able to record audio due to us living in a single-party consent state. I had over two years of recordings she knew nothing about until discovery.
As a detective, I had to learn how to anticipate what the defense may bring up. That also helped a lot. As she said, PREPARE FOR BOTH SIDES. You can't focus just on the bad on the other side. You need to focus on the good on your side as well.
Mrs. Zung, keep up the great work and keep the videos coming.
Hey Rebecca, I thought of a possible topic that you might provide insight on. "Good faith". We know that a Narcissist wants to argue, manipulate and get their way. Where does the topic of "good faith" fall when co-parenting with this type of personality? When is it safe to discontinue a conversation when it becomes obvious that the Narc is not approaching it in good faith?
It's really awesome to get this type of advice from a legitimate top 1% thank you
👍 Narcissists are such boundary stompers. Great tips for stopping them in their tracks!
Valentine Lister,You got a lovely smile 😊
Stay strong! ❤
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Another awesome vid and tips! Keep everything in writing.....emails.... keep video of their behavior.... Love these tips!! Also to focus on keeping your cool since the narcissist will try to upset you. I definitely have to keep conscious of this when doing counseling with someone that has a personality disorder like narcissism. Thanks and take care! :-)
Christian Lamb Inspires these abusive people drop out of therapy or don’t go typically because it’s ya not them. Mine would not even go to the shrink for our children as he doesn’t belvie in it.
Christian Lamb Inspires oh and he needed up cheating on me with another psychology major! He loves us psych majors and she is in social work! 🤣
Hi Rebecca this is what I really need, in two more days I will be going to court for the first time against my wife who is the abuser and I am a victim of domestic violence. I am seeking restraining order, I have a ton of documentation disposition but I don't know what they will ask me, so I will look at more of your material to prep. Thank you for the material you shared in this video.
Stay strong! ❤
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Unfortunately I am going for this at the moment. I am the UK the court system different! But a narcissist isn't.! Thanks 🌈
I can’t deal with this litigation bs. I am just not made or capable of this. I need an empathy guide to divorcing a narcissist. Any recommendations?🙏🏼
Dr ramani
Bullets are always the best way to fight a narcissist.
wow! I wish you can be my divorce attorney! I love your drive and your knowledge. I am going trough bad times.- the judge set aside the judgment, he never wanted to talk about it and now that he lost he got an attorney.... then the judge said that he did the right thing and that he did care.... so we are setting aside the judgement.. Not fair at all.... so sad...
Thanks for sharing. Keep everything in writing is key!
Yes document everything!!!
Thank you for putting your expertise out there for us regular folks.
This is really great information! Thank you for sharing this!
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How do you PREPARE YOURSELF to DEFEND YOURSELF against the opposing party's accusations? Like questions to be asked by the opposing attorney
What if you've made your case strong and done all of those steps and it seems like nothing is getting done in court? I look forward to hearing back from you.
Stay strong! ❤
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This is Brian Kim Keenan. You are a real Gem! You are very professional and mature and factual. This video is essential to anyone facing off with a narcissist. Absolutely the Best. Thank you so very very much!
@@jackpetersen7545 first of all, you didn't read the comment.
Secondly. Are you crazy? Get off the stuff
I am in Sonoma County, CA. My Narcissist’s lawyer is pals with all the Judges in the Sonoma County Superior Court. In fact, they are BAND MATES in a band called ‘Court’N Disaster’. They all talk to each other about the case. I just asked for a TRO to stop the narc from TRAVELING OUT OF STATE multiple times with my son during Covid! By air! My TRO was denied but what do you know, all of a sudden he canceled his plans to travel with my son to Las Vegas for Thanksgiving. I told NO ONE I was asking for this restraining order, but that morning after the Judge’s decision, the narc cancelled his travel plans AND THEN the next day quoted something verbatim I had written in my declaration. The only person who saw this declaration was the Judge.....
My narcissistic husband underestimated me. He also thought what he had put in the petition was truth since it was written in a legal document.
Little did he know about the legal system is actual evidence speaks volumes. Saving texts, photos of assault, phone recordings, etc.
While I testified of his abuse I could see in my peripheral his rage building and body language obvious to all. He ended up cursing me out in the courtroom, having a tantrum, admitting to strangulation, punching, kicking me but because “she did this.. she did that and made me”. (Side note: Long story short he had me arrested in that incident. It was immediately rejected by DA)
I was given a Final Protective Order and temp sole custody of our son. He is given supervised visits. I was fortunate I had an attorney and he went pro se. I can’t remember how many times the judge told him what he says can be used against him. Especially considering he is facing a second degree assault charge.
Like she said DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT! Be your own advocate and rise up against all the pain they put you throughout the years you put up with the abuse.
Thank you for your videos, Rebecca. I just found them and prepping for the resolution of this Divorve!
Stay strong! ❤
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Here in the Uk the legal system works differently and so do the lawyers. Mine has not listened to what I have said he would do and now I find myself having to look for another one in the middle of a divorce for his abuse 😮
My narc just gave me a protective order against me. All lies.
Christine Jackson,You look beautiful 🌹,You don’t need a narcissist in your life!
Smartest thing i have heard get everything in writing i guarantee the narc won't wanna put anything in writing 100 percent so that's a huge red flag shows how dodgy they are 👍
How do I ask the judge to have him take a evaluation to prove hes a narc?
Did you find out?
My narcassistic husband left me 6 wks ago after I caught him out carrying on with somebody he knew. Think it been going on throughout the marriage. He is divorcing me now and blaming me instead for the breakdown ! He is only after the house so I believe as he has told me lots of times previously. Finding this v helpful x
Jane Funnell mine left me when sick and lost my memory to mess with my head when sick and was cheating our daughter found out and hiding money. Blamed me for everything in the marriage. Controlled money and the kids and I lived in 150 a week and he made good money from my father and we had bills like craxy and he was going to fix that problem. Took 18,000 gone and have no idea where it went to??
Jane Funnell it’s all our fault. I apologized to mine for getting sick and we all make some mistakes through out a marriAhe but he seriously denies cheating and we have proof and it’s all my fault I didn’t love him when I was sick. I was so damn sick. How could I do that when could barely walk up steps!? 🤦♀️
Several studies from across the world have demonstrated that narcissism is, at least partly, genetic-in fact, according to a couple of studies, the risk of inheriting narcissism is over 50% in some cases. Narcissism, like other conditions under the behavioral genetics umbrella, is often studied using twins.Sep 11, 2023
Moving on from drama, trauma and kaos
truly, on your "file it so it can be heard" I have done that, they set stuff over mine & I never get heard, also, I file Emergency motions, the Court deemed not an emergency, but he files something that wasn't an emergency, but the Court deemed it that way. I have everything, I have 12 plus inches of documents... can't afford help and they are railroading me...
One of the first things I did when I divorced my ex was fire my divorce attorney. Eight months later I had my divorce. I lost a lot but I’m getting it all back
Just recently went through mediation with a narcissist & wow did he flip when I asked that he not use any guns out of the safe, illegal drugs & drinking while our child visits him. I only brought it up bc one of the MANY reasons I left was bc of his immature/irresponsible lifestyle that did not change as we aged. Shortly after I requested that those safety boundaries not be crossed , he started going on about how his family is united & his parents have been married for so many years…..ALL of which had nothing to do with the safety issues of what I brought up. The mediator noted that & said she will pass that request to the judge & then rushed us off the call soon after.
Is it possible to negotiate with narcissists and not feel like you're losing your power? Introducing....OUTSMART A NARCISSIST A 4-STEP PROVEN PLAN To Take Your Power Back! Learn more >> slay.rebeccazung.com/outsmart-narc✨
All of this is good information. Only problem I have is that the commissioner that I am dealing with is racist has been showing favoritism, completely biased and been flirting with my soon to be ex-wife so far I’ve been to court over eight times and I have not been able to speak or address her allegations. he has told me multiple times to be quiet and not talk, but allows her to say whatever she wants even though her lawyer is next to her, I have numerous documents to show she’s lying about everything she saying, and I have not been able to even show a single paper he even told me that I was making faces at him when I was not and even my lawyer asked him. What are you talking about? he has even accuse me of making faces at him when I never did, but I catch him all the time mad doggging me, I don’t know what to do, but I am not being given a fair trial or hearing whatever you call it
You explained this topic well!
Screen shot text messages! Make sure that the dates and times show.
Block them on your phone and require communications through email.
$250k in legal fees In less than 4 years and I’ve lost all custody and time with my 4 yo
Mae, The family court actually changes some law maybe you can get partial child custody.
Thank you very much for this video. Very informative.
They love to smile 😁
These are very interesting videos. Great job!
A very focused video with great strategies on being successful. I particularly like the idea of keeping everything in writing. This strategy doesn't just work for narcs, but also bosses! 🤣
Stay strong! ❤
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Thank you for your great information. Everything you have been talking about in this video and one of your other videos is so spot on.
Fantastic video Rebecca
I think this is Rebecca's best video 🙏 Thanks a lot
Thank you so much.
I’m currently going through a divorce with a Narcissist, he’s a police officer and his sister (a lawyer) is representing him in his 2nd divorce. I do have a lawyer. Is there a way to stop him from talking bad about me yo friends and family???? And we own a house together, I left him 10 months ago, I’m trying to get an apartment but they want to see his bank account to see that he’s paying the mortgage. I tried to go onto the mortgage company’s website to see if his account info is there but it’s not, is there away yo get around this???
Please Help
Thanks for all of your advice. I appreciate it 😊
Stay strong! ❤
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I screen shot all my messages and save them to a secure folder on my phone along with videos and pictures of any evidence .
Perfect timing, again, Rebecca. Thank you. In an attempt to minimize attorney fees, today, I applied for paralegal positions at estate litigation firms. Any advice on how to negotiate lowered fees & representation as the firm's employee?
My ex is a smart narc, he will send an email that's clean then send me abusive text messages. I started taking screenshots of the text messages. The photo shows the date and time so I can find the text later if I need it.
Thank you I’ve been looking for videos like this for years I’ve been going through a separation with the narc for six years and it’s been hell. He blocked all my attempts at mediation because he doesn’t want to give any kind of financial disclosure and finding a good lawyer is really hard And expensive
Gosh I definitely have been in such a heightened emotional state. The reactive abuse has been incredible
It's Time to Break Free for Good...Let's Do This! Sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- slay.rebeccazung.com/outsmart-narc 💪
The Court needs to be educated about Narcissism. I lost in court, because the Judge had 15 minutes to deal with us. She did NOT watch the video that could be an incriminating evidence. That video was a threat made by my ex- narc., she dismissed the evidence that my ex impersonated as a police officer to shut me up. Yet, he brainwashed me that he wanted me to visit Hawaii (multiple times). The Judge told him not to pay me back anything. The court system is flawed. I bet my ex is grinning. That grin on his face will not last. I hope he gets his karma.
Shannon Marie,You look gorgeous 🌹,Hope you are not with a narcissist!
'Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord'.
He'll get it, don't worry... You're rid of him is the important thing.
My narcissist manipulated me to trigger me in a conversation to push me away bc she had started a relationship while still with me. Her daughter called me and told me she was giving all of my belongs to her new boyfriends children. I lost it and threatened her and she put a restraining order on me …. I don’t know if I am able to defend myself. She completely ghosted me. After the trigger conversation. She has all the proof she needs to get this. And now she is able to justify our breakup by taking no accountability for cheating on me. I don’t know what to do
Thanks for your wisdom and compassion,god bless you! Robert
Rebecca
You can screenshot text messages, on iphone press both the lock button and the home button at the same time for anyone that may not know. On other phones I don't know how it works. You may want to wait a couple days so that the date and time stamp are on the text message.
To get him out of the house that is in my name we informally agreed on our marital assets for the most part but I haven't signed anything in an agreement. We were going to just have a mutual lawyer for settling the divorce. However, he had abused me and I have evidence and want it to get checked out medically since I have extended issues from when the abuse took place. It was my understanding that he would carry health insurance until I got the issue of my jaw fixed. He is now pressuring me into other legal docs that I refuse to sign and he is threatening me with taking away insurance. The lawyer I consulted with told me that this is a divorce family court if I want anything regarding the abuse he inflicted on me I will need to get a criminal lawyer too. How does physical abuse by a Narc ever make it to a thriving individual again?
It's,called testimony by Video!
Can you make a video for teleconference court hearings please ?
Thank you so much for this!
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In my case for like 3 yrs he's lied I want him to loose his shit in court and show his rage instead he's taking it out on the kids our son rather. There's other stuff going Minor they pay for nothing or take to doctor appointments I'm focusing on the kids despite all the other stuff he's done to me I'm documenting the kids behavior and the neglect on his part how can I box them in I think I need to go to trail no choice It's been 4 yrs ago. Your tips are amazing my ex has tried to have direct contact with me I won't agree to it. Only recently I had to for Thanksgiving family was away I only agreed to drop off at my driveway no contact I didn't talk to him I looked out the window to see if he arrived that was it documented he bought a new truck. How is it hes able to a sign a lease if i have to apply for a loan I'm told he has to sign for school loan I'm like abuse there's no way we need to apply a different way. If I get a house I have to disclose. A court reporting I'm hoping he'll loose it in court I won the assets in 2018 he's raking back over it again kids furniture other stuff petty things in spite. I haven't heard from my lawyer I don't understand hows hes gotten away with this. I'm focusing on my case I need to print up more messages there quite a bit how hasn't he not be held in contempt and perjury I don't understand? He's actually lied in court I was blindsided didn't have the evidence at the time. He was late with drop off the only time I had direct 3 hours late he's often late dropping off to my parents place this is how we estange I don't trust him. My ex said he wanted to sudtle, but that wasn't true or the co parenting he only wanted to sudtle if it was only fair on his side which was to take the assets that I bought before we were married. Emotions in check really tough very avoid contact a good idea. I need to be prepared my lawyer hasn't done that It's crazy I know know the route he'll do in trail lies unfortunately and manipulation my daughter we'll be 12 in March he won't get a say in where she decides she wants to go to school she's getting to be old enough she doesn't know the truth tho hes done the smear campaign I haven't told the kids the truth about him I'm not allowed to say anything about him and he has and continues his behavior I know he won't stop his behavior even when we're in trail.
Thank God there are many willing to help upon seeing how badly I was affected and the money spent on seeing professionals. We will watch what he will do or if he repeats his sharing. Many saw the videos. Will decide if this should be here or not later after consulting the legal advisers further.
When I documented everything in my logs, my lawyer said that it was hearsay and would not be effective… is this true? Also it was the lawyer who initiated the idea of documenting which makes me frustrated because of what’s being said in the end!
What about screen shots of the text messages. My narcissist refuses to email.
My older sister is the narcissistic abuser and why I have server C-PTSD and false charges on me she even gets my dad to set me up ,I'm on third public defender waiting on appointment with him and my dad has ask if it's a male or female cause I never told anyone what his name is on purpose and believe she has got to him too ,I'll fire him too ,they believe I'm the poor Lil scared April and they are stepping in it big time so I'm sure the judge is going to ask me why I keep firing the public defender he order to my case ,I need help please
Thank you Rebecca, you are on point❤️
Stay strong! ❤
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How should a bio Mom, who IS A NARCISSIST, be dealt with after she comes and starts trying to cause trouble after 9 yrs. Thinking because the FATHER IS NOW PASSED AWAY, she has some standing. He had full custody and I am the step- Mom- she did NOT check in with the courts as far as her reunification plan, ordered by the court, or else I suppose she would have follow thru to initiate the supervised visitation somehow some way and really make an effort. She just wrote emails every 3 6 then 9 months then nothing for the last 2 yrs...the child will be 14 in a few days and has NO RELATIONSHIP with her and does not want it..substance abuse & neglect were the issues and in the least alcoholism now, possibly more
In writing everything ! I am a carer for mum and dad . My sister took all the family heirlooms then tried to destroy my mother and me. The tribunal threw the book at her ! She even tried to poison me . For my sanity ive gone no contact after this as she is really evil
I filed a motion for contempt. The case manager can't schedule hearings right now. I'm hoping to have enough time to gather information. Is it ever a problem to say too much in cross-examination? Can you take emails or notes with you on the stand? This is post-divorce, and I am self-representing. I'm assuming that I have a chance to give a final statement, as well as the other party, before the judge makes a decision. TY, TY, TY.⚖️
God bless.keep up the good work.ive learned alot frm ur videos am advice
My narc stepdad destroyed my moms computer with evidence of him threatening to kill her and throw her in the river. He keeps messing with us and I'm trying to help my mom win this because he's very manipulative 😔
She should get a protective order against him.
Yes! She just made faces at me in the Casino in Laughlin!
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What if I can't afford lawyer? And must represent myself?
Can you get a duty lawyer ?
What if the judge is a Narcissist ?
I am divorcing a covert narcissist, we are still living under one roof... Staying emotionally stable, is very hard. If you have any tips, they are more than welcome.
Mrs. Rebecca Zung, you said to do thorough research on what the person’s true income is. How can you find that out, if the person refuses to show you their bank records or even tell you?