I’m Always Angry (And I’m Tired of It!)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ก.ย. 2024
- I’m Always Angry (And I’m Tired of It!)
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New marriage, blended family, 25 with 5 kids, youngest is an infant and the oldest is 15. People have lost their minds over much less. If you're able to hold it together, you might be an actual saint.
Great comment!
Why why why do people have so many friggin kids??? it's like Idiocracy!
I love this caller. Bless him. It's so beautiful and wonderful to hear someone truly care about their life and their growth. He's so brave.
Smh
He’s 25 with 5 kid’s. Glad he’s seeking help. At 25 I was just barely learning how to live on my own and emotionally deal with my life.
Hell, I'm 35 still learning that stuff. Successful in other ways, but emotionally, I'm an idiot.
@@b7Hn4eX8yv4mthanks for the laugh! That's the best way to put it I've ever seen. I'm stealing it. Thanks 😂😂😂😂
Thank you again, Dr. John! I have taken your advice and I am trying my hardest to implement everything you said.
To those of you commenting that I am angry because of the woman I married with four kids, I would like to say that I understand why you feel this way. Respectfully, you are incorrect. My wife and these kids (yes it seems like a million at times 😂) have been the driving force for my transformation. Although it has come with its own stress and courtships, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Thank you for watching and listening to this conversation. To all of my angry people out there, seek help. It’s no way to live.
I wish nothing but love for everyone in here!!! ❤
Praying for you man. Things will get better, especially since you care about self healing and improvement. You've got this!
@@HORSESNDOGS9 thank you for the kind words!!!
Thanks for sharing your story. There's so much bravery in saying the words out loud. We know your kids and family will just benefit from having the best version of their dad. I hope your journey to healing has been smooth. Wish you the very best.
Just started this video the true crime videos were making me depressed. I'm angry every day it does ware on me. I have so many things to be angry about and when you mentioned your mother and father exactly my father was the same. Wow you're only what 26 now? You're still so young good luck to you and your wife and I hope you are staying strong.
Sorry that happened to you same thing happened to me.
Love this guy’s heart. He’s going to be a great dad!
For him to recognize the issues and bring them to light is going to be such a game changer. I wish I was as wise as him at 25 years old. Good luck on your journey bro!
I like him already
Thank you!
When he asked “how do you know if something really happened”… relate. Thanks for reassuring a ton of us we’re not crazy and imagining things
I read "I'm always hungry and I'm tired of it" 😂 that is me...
25, your prefrontal cortex is just maturing now and you're trying to figure yourself out and with 5 kids, this can be overwhelming, go easy on yourself. Sorry for the sexual abuse 😥 Great advice from Dr John. Best of luck in your healing ❤️
The fact that he admits he's angry is the first step. Once you can admit to yourself what is your problem you're on your way to healing.
This 25 yrs old superman father of 5 is such a beautiful human.hes already succeeded by recognizing he has a problem...you are so awesome and you John are amazing
How can he say "my wife would just stab me in my sleep" and carry on with the conversation, that cracked me up 😂
I do appreciate his sense of humor through all this. I can relate to having a ton of anger that he wants to get rid of, and I'm glad he wants to improve his quality of life. He had a rough life as a child, but it *doesn't* define him. I hope things work out for him.
Good luck to him. I’m a survivor also and it’s a daily journey. God is the answer ❤️
Mom tried convincing me I had an anger problem. She was just irresponsible, didn’t respect boundaries, and was generally exhausting to be around. “You need to learn to let things go” was just her way of avoiding accountability. Staying out of her house and limiting contract proved to me that there is nothing- absolutely nothing wrong with the way I respond to disrespect and negativity. I’ve actually got quite the patience I’ve realized- because nothing can be as irritating as it was growing up as her little slave.
Same here ❤
I literally thought the title said "I'm always hungry"... and I'm like me too!! 🤣
That's what I thought it said 😂
I thought that was my husband out there !! (It's not).... Gosh, I wish there are more episodes about that type of situation. So many are STRUGGLING with this and have a good heart!!! And your counsel is GOLD!! THANK-YOU !!
I cry on every show!! 😭 Best podcast ever!!! 👏
His sigh at 2:16 broke my heart 😢
I really identify with this, i had a similar back story with abuse and i now have 3 year old twin boys and a 2 year old. I am also an angry person and hate it.
I used to be very angry; at my parents, my husband, and I'd get angry with my kids, because of all that. I've been through much trauma and have always had high anxiety. About 5 years ago, I realized my road rage was out of control and was literally going to give me a heart attack. I knew I had anger problems for years, I had a serious problem falling asleep at night... but I had an awakening, is the best way to put it. I realized I had to calm down. I'm 41, so it took a while. I became a mom at 23. I realized I didn't want my kids to be angry and that was what I was turning them into; angry little monsters. When I calmed down, they calmed down, and I desperately needed to be calm for them. I still get angry sometimes, but it's much fewer and far between and my road rage was almost instantly gone. Sometimes, you need a serious awakening. I don't what that is. But I also have gotten closer to God in the last few years.
Name the pain so you can focus the anger. Deep breath. Forgiveness versus avoidance. Identity - I am a woman who...
Great call & advice. I needed this too. I'm not angry, but I should be from similar childhood stuff.
Great call Dr. D. Hoping T is doing well. ❤
Dang how old is the wife? Oldest child is 15??? And they just had a baby together less than a year ago?
If she had a kid at 18, she could be 33 so not a huge age gap
30 years old?
Who cares it is what it is
I am 52 EVERY MAN EXCEPT MY DAD AND ONE UNCLE DID LOTS OF THINGS TO ME UNTIL I WAS 13 ... INCLUDING A WOMAN BABYSITTER. I have so much rage in me when I wake up its scary... have always been this way in the mornings. So over it. .
I’m so proud of this caller! What a super man! ❤
Have a nice life 🧬😊❤️🩹🫠 rest well guy Mr. testimony, all caring &sharing with us 💖😎🙏
Great conversation. Just starting to get some full nights of sleep would work wonders for reactiveness. It sucks not to be sleeping when you're tired.
Bless this caller... I hope you know God. Wow, you can be used Mightly.
Wow this guy is so aware and that is huge!!!! I wish more people were like him❤️❤️❤️❤️
I really like this call! Wow 😯
My ex ( we were married 37 years) was super avoidant and angry, he downloaded on our family for years he felt better and we carried the trauma of his negativity. I am still angry and bitter, he, however is fine, which pisses me off daily as I still have to interact with him frequently via our adult children. In short I still relive that trauma AND carry the blame for divorcing and the times I got reactively angry a few years before I divorced him at what he did to us and how emotionally unsafe our home became, he was unfazed.
I love this caller❤❤❤... I'm 68, and you're a pretty Ausome person. GOOD LOVES YOU
I say this with care and respect, YET some of these comments are just not helpful. YES a 25 year old shouldn't have to deal with THIS BUT he is!! He took a big step today and he knows how to laugh in the face of struggle! My kdis experienced their mom in a severe car accident when they were little -- we need to think about what we type because if someone would've have said "you shouldn't go thru this" they'd be like - where should I go etc. INSTEAD people told us they are praying and they loved our kids and helped them be stronger thru the struggle! This 25 year old is learning things that WILL make him a stronger person. We can't change our circumstances, we can change our responses, choose healing, AND that's why he made a good choice to talk To DR John ! Let's encourage people.
So from the title we’re angry about being angry 😂 I don’t know why that made me giggle
Angry man marries an older women with 4 kids and immediately has a child. What could go wrong?
Right? His partner is a woman who makes selfish and impulsive choices. She chose to bring the caller into her children’s home and make him dad, knowing he was angry and had trouble being emotionally vulnerable. She then also chose to have another baby with him. I’m not sure the wife is a winner.
*woman. Singular. Why can no one spell woman
Judging by how my dad treated my mom I'm so scared to get a GF or a wife and have kids because I don't want to repeat the cycle. I don't want my kids to hate their dad's guts when their 25 because I hurt them. And I don't want my woman to be physically, financially and emotionally drained taking care of my kids by herself. I really want to have a family so I can prove to myself that I'm better than him but the other part of me says, "you're too damaged to be a future husband and a father or in other words a man with a purpose, just lock this beast in the cage and let it die." I'm completely lost at this point. I guess my anger comes from trying not to look vulnerable or in other words a "weak man" so anger is my only way to vent when I'm stressed.
I can just tell you’ll be a good partner and parent
The facade is not important. If you have to always look strong, that is not strength. Everyone has weaknesses. Letting them show and having the _resilience_ to recover from things is real strength.
He might be dealing with some unaddressed grief. Perhaps he saw his life as being different and enjoying his 20’s instead of being tied down with a bunch of kids. I have 2(had my first close to 30) and even then it was a huge shock and a grieving period was necessary. I cannot imagine 5 at such a young age.
One thing I tell you is that he going to forget what you have said to him because this Man need long therapy. Anger makes you forget everything you only remember is your past triggers. " Anger makes us forget everything relevant "
Why do these people have so many friggin kids???
"...and then black." Oh my dear sweet boy. Let this Internet stranger validate you and what in fact did happen to you. Good job getting on the path to better health. Hugs.
For me its not at what. It is the feeling inside of me.
At first I read the title as "I'm always hungry". I clicked so fast cause me too
The subconscious mind records all traumas .
Bob Newhart in a scene reacting in his character of a psychologist/psychiatrist to a patient complaining something similar: "STOP IT!"
You’re angry because you’ve taken on the responsibility for other four human beings
Bingo
Really good show John!
I think I really need to talk to you....
36 yrs old ...single male ....loner...artist ...unemployed ...
My father was a very very violent angry person my mother is a co dependent enabler .. usually to busy at work to know what was happening...strangled multiple times ....flogged...psychologically abused aswell...I was good at football always stayed fit ...I had good influences but they weren't enough to derail the anger .. I was a black sheep loner lost faith in society after 911...my dad smoked weed with me at 13 gave it to me to sell at school mum knew but did nothing .. and there was prison politics snitches get stitches mentality in my house hold,since my father had been to prison prior to starting a family ...*(resentment towards women)(stemming from my mother's poor choice in men and observing females consistently choose poor partners) even though I was talented in a lot of different areas throughout my life...and handsome...I was always polite loved to have fun, sharing kind person .... But the anger I absorbed and watched every day ended up ruling my personality ...most of my friendships were hollow,always rejected reflecting on it now I can say I despise it ..never had a decent relationship....the one I did have aborted our child ...I sunk into darkness,i think around this part,.....was run over by a bus had three operations on my leg al.ost lost my leg .. my family abandoned me for another state 1000's kms away...I had a series of nervous breakdowns...it has been consistent stress and trauma every year since....I did address all of this prior to 2019...that year has undone alot of hard work and progress every morning I wake up frustrated which either turns good or horrible depending on my stimuli and how difficult tasks become ....I'm over this I have self awareness I could quote probably every typical solution or advice that could be said at this point sometimes I think I'm too smart to be fixed....which is where my anger lives in my intelligence/ logic ...I cannot tolerate incompetence even the smallest especially if im a customer or paying for a service ....I stand up to my own conflicted embarrassment for the smallest principle..... in too exhausted to type anymore
This guy is awesome! Oh, and you are too, Jon.😂
Never date a single and one with 4 kids!! Smh
Am a bit confused here… I hear Dr. John telling a lot of other people to commit “I will never do this again (like yelling),” but here he says that just using willpower doesn’t work. Anyone understand it better than I and can explain?
The commitment isn't willpower, it's more like saying this the goal or path I'm going to follow(declaring it if you will to be accountable) then following it up with a plan of action.
Willpower is more like saying it because it sounds good or right. No plan. And hoping it fixes itself.
Anger and Hate is just as a strong Motivator in Life as Love. Just got to know how to control it, Trust me.
My husband and my situation exactly
He does not sound like an angry person.
They can be really good at switching it off in public but at home 😮
he is awesome
6:51 it’s really upsetting that he just glazed over this question ..
Same!! I really wanted to know!
Right? What really happened does matter in a lot of instances. He should have made that clear before stating it doesn’t matter to the caller’s bodily response.
4 kids that are not yours and you are wondering why you angry? I get the abuse portion, but why in the world did you crucify yourself like that at 25?
Bit of a savior complex probably
I wish he would be quiet and listen
Also do not remember my childhood except all those times. Absolutely none
I am 25 years old, I'm having problems controlling my anger, my dad threatened to shoot me and my Mom when I was 3 years old, because of that I have socializing issues, anger issues, I'm overprotective and can't sleep half the time. I have no idea what to do to get past it.
At 25 tying yourself to 5 kids is not smart, bro.
A 25 year old with a 15 year old step child? I feel sorry for him.
@@David-wo9un you can definitely see, he got no one to talk some sense into him.
@@braziliannigga maybe someone tried.
A million kids...............Oh yeah!
That spoke to me. Thank you
If I had to raise 4 children from other men I’d be mad all the time too
He didn't have to, he made his choice
@@mysharona6754 oh yeah he defiantly messed up on that one gotta deal with that for 18 years who knows heat be the 5th baby daddy soone and she gets remarried lol
That was a massive L
Why do you assume that those 4 kids all had different dads? He never said anything about that. They could all have had one father who died from the info given.
Ugh I don’t know why I’m so angry
This guy obviously has no self respect because hes got a wife who had four kids with another man, and hes 25 years old and his wifes oldest is 15 so obviously his wife is wayyy older than him
She might have had the first kid at 15.
Why, OH LORD, did he find a woman with 4 kids?!!!
Low self esteem
Would love to see the respect the 15 year old gives this guy LOL
*You can do this* *A M E N*
Doctor D gets some hits, sometimes misses, but when he hits a homer it goes over the whole dang city. Good job with this one.
Bring on a pet cat! Meow…I hope this caller finds life long help for their big family.
That's rubbish! If you think the effects of trauma simply dissapear with a "magical affirmation".
Trauma is more than the memory of a painfull occurence, is years of dissociation that made you feel crazy, memory problems, emotional and nervous dysregulation..
If you are not angry in todays society your probably not paying attention. However sorry for the abuse that you had to endure . 😢
Sweet
That’s a million kids 😂
Actually I wouldn’t trust him with my kids.
poor dude ended up with a girl with 4 kids 😂😂😂 .. .. i think anger is not the problem
He even talks bad about his own self talk.
❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏🙏
Many good tips here! I want to add my anti-crazy-making remedy. The books about Active Parenting by Thomas Gordon. You see, I was fathered by somebody whose father again learned disciplin in German Reichswaffe, almost like SS or something. I needed to get that dark cloud out of my system and to deeply learn other ways of reacting, thinking and doing. As I brought up my son and step-son, I refostered myself, the kid within, giving it too, the love and respect I didn't get as a child. And besides I refostered my then hubby, as he hadn't got what Thomas Gordon wants parents to provide for their kids. I wasn't 100% successful, regrettably. If we admit what we didn't get, but give the best tools to our kids, then we ourselves heal too, as we break the dark chains of the old heritage, we don't pay it forward, we establish new "riches" to hand down. My son became a great dad, and sees his father without blinds. Being honest and truthful and naming things with proper terms helps to be a person with integrity and helps to choose the best possible paths in life.
BTW anger is energy which can be directed well - not as irritations towards those weaker, but as critic against wrongs and unfairness, with determination to change things for the better. We can do it.
What a great advice...I really enjoy listening to your podcast/TH-cam. You make a difference in our lives. 🫶
Simp channel
Love the content. Just wish the host wasnt so dry and demanding info. Dudes trying to let out about trauma and this guy "WHAT HAPPENED"
It feels force and scripted or just dry
i have been angry and bitter for 50+ years. i will never forgive god for the horrifying existence i have had. NEVER!!!!
You’re in charge of your own destiny by how you think.
@@skr8674 if that was true i would have a completely different life. god is a sick twisted evil freak that plays favorites
Use it to motivate to be better.
Oh, God's not real. Man made.
Thank you for sharing a ton of testimony from your journey in life! I am not sure if you are available to help everyone else 🌐🙏🫶🙌
I love this caller❤❤❤... I'm 68, and you're a pretty Ausome person. GOOD LOVES YOU