@@strnglhld I disagree. That statement can not be verified. If all people actually reported it, which they don't. I know the numbers you claim would be different. I have some colleagues who work DV hotlines. Men are the primary callers. Let that sink in.
@@mrseliephant You’re lying. I’m not sure why. But, let’s check the most recent stats: On June 5, 2020, The Hotline released a two-page COVID-19 Special Report covering data from March 16 through May 16. It shows that among 62,413 contacts to The Hotline nationwide, 15% were male, 78% were female, and the remainder were unknown or other. Before that: In 2013, 13% of documented contacts to The Hotline identified themselves as male victims. - National Domestic Violence Hotline I’ve volunteered for an organization that had, among other things, a hotline for either gender to call. The VAST majority of callers has always been women. What you say isn’t true anywhere for any major hotline in the country. You don’t have to lie to try and make a point.
@@mrseliephant oof. I said lady because more likely a young lady would relate to her story. Living in 2022 is so fun because making an innocent comment on a touching TH-cam video gets someone nit- picking your words. I could say, "I love strawberries." and someone will comment, "What's wrong with oranges? What do you have against them!?" It's tiring. YES, SIR OR MA'AM, I AM AWARE THAT MEN CAN AND DO GET ABUSED. Carry on.
She is literally describing my life. I just left my husband of 34 years because of his abuse. All 3 of our kids said "FINALLY" when I said I couldn't do it anymore. Everyone thinks he is such a great guy. Behind closed doors he is a monster to his family. I just left a few months ago.
I know a woman married to a man for over 20 years they have 8 kids together and he is showing signs of mental decline. My grandma developed Alzheimer's and I watched her deteriorate until she passed. This woman's husband reminds me of when my grandma started declining. He gets confused, he's argumentative, he gets super defensive and he's abusive. Two of the oldest girls, 14 and 16, had to call the cops because the dad was kicking the 16 year old after he had pushed her to the ground. I wish the mom would leave this jerk, but neither of the parents have had a job for years. It's a terrible mess. The mom truly believes a miracle is going to happen. But sometimes, a miracle is getting away from a monster.. I don't know. I'm just there for the kids and I tell them that they can ALWAYS call me if they don't feel safe or need a ride. 😢 Really, the only reason I have anything to do with them is so I can make sure the kids are safe otherwise I wouldnt have anything to do with these foolish people
1. Get a lawyer 2. Don't tell the husband or anyone that you are leaving 3. Get a virtual mailbox or mailbox that uses a real address for all future matters 4. Get a separate bank account in your name 5. Get a phone 6. Find all the important papers and make copies 7. Get a storage unit and put important items & papers there 8. Find a place to live and don't give that address to anyone only use the mailbox address. All the best
Over the years as it’s gradually happening, it just starts to become more & more normal. It happened to me as well. It was a an epiphany, I saw it as clear as could be, I’m in a domestic violence, marriage, I am the victim of this. My kids are victims of witnessing this..” I am leaving a 30 year marriage as we speak. These men are insecure, emotionally, immature bullies.” They would never do to another person what they would do to a woman or a child. It’s really evil & demonic. God bless us all and keep us safe . 🙏🏻🩵
I have had so many people ignore my asking for help. So many judgements from people who don't get it. I was told by a lawyer I trusted who happened to like him. She just said I can't help you but don't eat anything he offers you. So? You believe me and are still turning your back.
The way she said “ok thank you” when Dr. John said she isn’t dumb and she didn’t fail had me in tears. This poor woman. I will be keeping her in my prayers.
🍒👏🏼…. YESSSSS - those tears BROKE MY HEARTSTRINGS ❤️🩹 ugh….I just wanna HUG HER…..forEVER🍒 …GREAT JOB BROTHA’greatest great advise !!! Much luv from ur virtual SDcALI sista’from’anotha’mista!!!
This was hard to hear. I feel very bad for this woman. She is really starting over in every aspect of her life. Beginning to value herself first after decades of not understanding how to do this for herself will be a challenge. Hoping her daughter took her in temporarily.
@@marymccann6110 John really messed up on this call. He told her what to do on air. Giving her abuser details on where she was going and how to find her. What he we should of done is act like she should stay. And he should have said I have a book for you can you stay on the line and get me your address. Then off the air set everything up to get her away from him right away. So she would be safe that day and from then on.
@@jwehrli6 telling a woman to stay after her husband broke her fingers would basically end his career. My solution would be to air the clip a few months after the actual conversation.
For sure, it's horrible when people are genuinely abused, especially children. It's also sickening when women say they are abused by a spouse that they simply don't get along with. This woman is faithful through things that she did not need to be
Don't tell them you're leaving!!! My best friend asked her boyfriend about fooling around with a girl. He hit her like a man. We were both hugging each other and crying. She was so forgiving. I wanted to be like her. I told her not to take him back! She took him back. She's not here anymore. I think God took her, cause he's tired of these men abusing her! I miss you Jonelle!!🎉
@@mrseliephant Likely hundreds of thousands of men in this situation, and millions of women in these situations. NPD and ASPD rates are significantly higher in men than women. Cluster B Personality Disorders are the prime reasons for abusive behavior. You are right that there are men trapped in abusive situations as well -- None of it is OK -- but your reply is also very inappropriate for the topic at hand --- you need to be changing things on this front instead of wasting energy minimizing the abuse of women -- minimizing the stories of abuse about any human being allows it continue to everybody (including men).
@@athens31415 I am a woman and I disagree. The topic is ABUSE. VERY appropriate. Don't genderize abuse victims. ANY person of any gender can be abused or be a perpetrator in any relationship dynamic. I know there are women who abuse men, who fake pregnancies, humiliate men, who would set up a dude to "teach him a lesson", etc. You can't get real statistics out of it, so stop trying. The statistics are bull crap. Anyone with any inkling about statistics can tell you they are crap. If you want I can pick it apart like a vulture for you, especially since I have a social work background. Open your eyes hon. I stand up for ALL abuse victims.
@@mrseliephant Sorry that you don't believe in Math, Statistics, or Logic for that matter. I also recommend re-reading my comment since you clearly missed the entire point of it.
No not all victims of abuse are women. Your little statistics are not accurate at all. Any statistician will tell you that. Data is only as accurate as those who actually report it and those who accurately collect it. You can absolutely fudge numbers through collection and reporting of data by excluding data in studies or by purposely only interviewing certain people/populations. By your logic you make women out to be victims, so no I don't go by your logic. Don't act like you know me hon. Your little childish insults do nothing to me. I read your point. Your point minimizes the abuse of everyone else besides women, so no I don't even remotely agree with you.
My mom was treated horrible emotionally by my father. She ended up with an emotional breakdown in her early 70s. And then dementia. Been in a nursing home since. She Just turned 82. My father passed on 2 yrs ago. Due to her abuse she was a non attentive mother. It was a mess.
My name is not Ann but I AM Ann. I took this for 51 1/2 years. I am long past crying. He departed 9 years ago. Haven’t missed him one second. I’ve heard all “he’s so nice, you’re so lucky”.
My name is also Ann and I went thru 9 years of absolute hell married to a narcissist. He was verbally and emotionally abusive. I believe he was about to become physically abusive as well. I packed a bag and left - he thought I was going to work. GET OUT! GET OUT NOW! You deserve happiness after all you’ve been through. A peaceful life is waiting for you on the other side of abuse.
@@annwallace9537 30 yrs how stupid I wasted my life so yes all you get out NOW you deserve better that goes for men also as a family member is dealing with a female Narcissistic Abuser so sad Bi polar for sure
"Everyone thinks he's nice." I can relate to that! My ex killed the woman he dated after me and he still has people who think he's great and don't believe it.
Omg, my ex's mom said that about his father, and I didn't understand completely until I found myself saying the exact same thing about my ex. He was Jekyll and Hyde. Wonderful in public, but a monster at home.
After 41 years of being his verbal punching bag, I finally left and never looked back! I was 60 years old. I learned to be my own best friend and to love myself. Life is good!
Whoever told women that staying in a relationship only because “kids need a father” is who really needs to have their fingers broken. Yes kids need a father but not a father who abused their mother, or a father who is not emotionally available for them or the mom. Women don’t stop existing just because they have children. If you are unhappy and being disrespected you need to leave that person.
THIS!! The sad part is that her children probably picked up on the abuse and learned to either be abusers or accept abuse. She has been conditioned to stay since so many women think that being single is a sin. I rather be single, happy, and childless than be in an abusive relationship
You mean well but you simply just don't get it. An abusive situation isn't as simple as just leaving. I'm very happy for you that you know such a naivety.
Society tells women to stay bc women are known to ruin children by breaking up the family. Same thing happened to my mum! You get told off and looked down on by your neighbours, community and even church.
@@porcelaindolli3 I know abuse is complex and I don’t understand it. My point is that both men and women are well past the cave-man times, everyone should draw a hard line of respect and stick to it so it doesn’t become chronic abuse. She gave him a pass the first time he cheated or seriously disrespected her, that’s what led to this.
@@Whatorwellsaid21 As a survivor of domestic violence (DV) myself, I agreed with your first comment. You were spot on there. But the truth is that it's not as easy as simply drawing a hard line. The truth is that for many survivors of DV, we've been conditioned at some point within our lives to believe that we needed to accept the abuse, and that we deserved to be treated this way. Healing only comes when we learn to love ourselves enough to realize that we do not deserve this, and learn to walk away. But, even then, we have years of unlearning the negative patterns we were taught make for healthy relationships, but in reality only lead to further abuse. On every level we could want the abusive relationships to end, and to want to step into healthy relationships, but until we're actually taught what constitutes a healthy relationship, we will never know what to look for so that we can find them. Thus, it is *never* as simple as simple as drawing a hard line, because even after that hard line is drawn, we still have to learn what healthy relationships look like. To say that her failure to draw a hard line "is what lead to this," is to ultimately victim blame, and fail to understand the true complexities of the cycle of abuse.
Not so easy to leave. Yes they should, many who try are often killed by their abuser. Why don't you tell the abusive men to alter their behavior and not telling the women they have to solve the problem themselves? Laying the problem on women's shoulders is typical of society's idea that women should fix the issue. Put the blame and responsibility on the abuser. Asking "why didn't she leave? " is focusing on the wrong person; that is a victim blaming mentality. Yes the abused should keep themselves safe ASAP, but let's focus the abuser who is responsible for the problem in the first place.
@@TeresaCatherine-wi9co I’m aware of all of this, but thanks for verbalizing what I didn’t for the masses. Abuse is a complex situation and I was only pointing out the generational implications. What I want to also say for the masses if you feel like you’ll die if you leave and feel stuck. You’ll probably end up buried 10 feet below if you don’t ever leave too. Not a way to live a life that you never got to live. My heart goes out to anyone going through it and I hope for the best for them that they get out.
I just got to the point where I have had enough. I always tried to make it work for the kids, but it is not the solution. I don’t want my girls to have the life/spouse I had. But it’s not easy…
I know this show replays a month or two later. But be careful. Move out and then tell him you’re getting the divorce. He might not want to split the $750,000 and think you’d be better off in the river floating downstream. He has already shown you what he’s capable of. Believe him.
All young ladies out there, PLEASE TAKE HEED! I was emotionally and mentally abused regularly for almost 30 years! I wasted my youth on him! After finally left, he made a suicide post on Facebook, all lies, and then committed suicide. Now years later, I am still dealing with the repercussions of this. People love to punish even if they hated that person themselves. Young ladies PLEASE LISTEN! Run when you start seeing these red flags and don’t look back
Can we get a follow-up with ANN. She sounded like such a sweet lady. I feel so bad for her situation. I would love to hear how everything turned out, FREE!
She cut off her friend who did something against Gods word. Mam, breaking your spouses bones is also breaking Gods word. I hope she gets all the help she needs 🙏🏾
@@CyeOutsiderThere are always times of judgement once the cup of wickedness is full. Worldly people call it Karma...what goes around comes around. God never approved the behaviors you described. Human (and demonic) choices are what causes these horrible abuses. The only one coming to the rescue, for the willing/believing, is Jesus
It’s been years since I’ve cried, but when she said he broke her fingers, the tears just welled up in my eyes. Her husband ought to come a little further south here in Texas and see if he still has that same type of energy.
I left after 32 years of abuse. It’s worth it. You’re worth it. Don’t give up on yourself. I felt stupid and useless but it was just time to get out. I lived in my car for 7 months. I’m broke but safe.
I was 12 years in an abusive relationship. I finally ended up going to a crisis center, was hospitalized, and put in group therapy. I was terrified. Fear of the future and unknown is the worst. I had him removed from my home, that I alone owned, three months after that. It was the best thing that ever happened! It's now 30 tears later, I'm married to a kind, patient, and loving man, and I am so grateful for my life. Your abuser does not, in anyway, deserve you.
To the people judging those who don't leave an abuser: I guess you've never had someone love bomb you, act like someone they aren't, trick you and then brainwash you into thinking that the horrible person they are slowly becoming is _your fault_ so that you stay, try changing everything about yourself so that they will go back to the person you once married in the beginning or, a new person who's your partner and lover who will grow *with* you. And all the while this is slowly creeping in, insidiously, your self esteem is being slowly chipped away at, little by little, inch by inch, insult by insult; neglecting touching you, refusing to sleep with you, guilt and shaming you, raging at you so that you are terrified of them, spending all *their* money while you slave next to them unappreciated and unnoticed, addicted to the business so that work becomes their mistress, isolates you from friends and family and blames YOU. All of this to the point that you want to die, all while still trying to show them you love them by putting up with their crap....thinking that if they see you suffer...they'll *finally* GET it, they'll see the depths of your love and willingness and change. They have convinced you it is YOUR FAULT. All of it is your fault. Thank your lucky stars that you haven't gone through this. And I pray God softens your heart. You have no idea. Someone who has an idea would never judge another person who's gone through utter HELL. I'll say this: as soon as I saw clearly that what I was experiencing was abuse, I left. Many people are so damn snowed by the twisting, lies, gaslighting, word salad, beat down by severe neglect, isolated from *everyone* that their reality is so small and they have nothing to compare it to, only what they're IN and what their abuser *TELLS* them....that they _don't see it._ This was my story. 14 years of it. Free almost 4 years, married to an amazing man God miraculously sent me and I have more joy and peace than I could ever have dreamed of having ♥️💕 Only by the Grace of God.
Thank you for your story and courage, and congratulations on your new freedom! My wife left me last year, but every thing you said she did to me. My circle of relationships grew smaller and smaller and she did each thing you mentioned above. I’m still lonely, but peaceful.
People like this weaponize confusion. I believe the essence of the reason people stay in situations like these is because a) they have no objectivity and don't necessarily see it as abuse and b) they fundamentally don't trust themselves or their judgement anymore. So so sad.
Some people stay because of convenience and by convenience I mean that it’s easier to deal with what you already know than to start from scratch and some people have low selfesteem as well and then there’s those that don’t want to go out and work and support themselves and their children so they deal with their husbands abuse because he’s paying the rent and bills
Please leave this relationship. Reminds me of my mother. My dad beat her like he was beating a grown man. He beat her so bad that he pushed her thumb inside her hand, you could only see her nail . She finally left and now he's old, sick, and alone. Don't feel sorry for him one bit.
I let my ex come back once. The 2nd time was even worse: more gaslighting, smearking, word salad, more alcahol, more cheating, more lies. It was awful. 3 years no contact. Life is beautiful again ❤
This is so sad. If the son's wedding had been "ruined" it would have been her abusive husband's fault for breaking her fingers, not hers for saying something. Sadly people tend to blame the victim for "making drama" in situations like these. I hope she can stop blaming herself.
A couple ladies at my husband's old church left their abusers, and it was infuriating how some of the churchgoers responded. They both got shamed for not being able to pray and fix them, and they thought they should stay with abuse and with kids there. Some even gave out their new addresses behind their back.
That's why we shouldn't teach our kids (especially daughters) to be obedient all the time. Let your kids form a habit of speaking up their minds and protest when they feel hurt. Don't let them think that their values are validated by other people and by marriage. They define their own values by taking care of themselves and that's it. Don't panic if other people criticize you for being selfish when you're just protecting your peace. They don't understand what you've been through and you don't need those unsupportive ones in your life.
@@linhc9552 That’s why I find it heartbreaking for women to be labeled as “lacking self worth” or “low self esteem” when they endure abuse. It a quick judgment of someone when for centuries girls have been taught to be obedient even now majority of men find a woman advocating for herself as difficult, too masculine, “modern woman” with negative connotations. Self worth is rarely taught as much as submission in society for women.
To the caller, proud of you for waking up from the illusions and lies you were told about being married. Say no to any type of abuse. Wishing you the best moving forward. 👍
She’s such a precious woman. When she said she didn’t want to move in with her kids 😢😢😢😢 she’s a really great mother. I’m sure they will be so happy to take her in for a season.
Yes, she's a rarity, a woman with a God given good heart. She's the type that would suffer harm but would do you no harm. I pray God's richest blessings for her.
Felt cornered or not... sick. She is so strong to have played the part for her son's happy day. Wow. I cannot imagine having to sell a lie about what happened.
As the son in a verbally abusive marriage, it has always creeped me out when people say "oh he's so cool" when talking about my dad. It never fails to give me goosebumps.
Dude this is the sweetest lady I've ever heard, she is very naive and has been taken advantage of for so long, dude this is heavy.. touches me deeply..
I've always felt that my Mom didn't do us any favor by staying w/my dad! She needs to model this courage for her kids! They need to see there are consequences for this abuse!!
You are putting it all on an abused person. Lets change the narrative: Father shouldnt stay on a family unit if they aré abusive. Grown family members shouldnt make a blind eye. We are only now as a society understanding a fragment of the horror and tribulación women suffer, withstand in abusive relationships. And mothers... This woman took a beaten to still give her sons what she was told was the best. No one acted on her defense for 34 years. For other reasons i wished so much that my mom would've leave my dad but she couldnt. 😢 I hold no grudge or debt. If anything i blame my dad for not giving her financial fredoom and support AND for being am asshole overall to a beautifull person, as also ground up family members that failed to support her. LETS PUT THE BLAME WERE IT SHOULD BE AND NOT ON THE VICTIM.
Broke her fingers because she confront him of flirting?!?!?! I am so furious here. Poor woman! I hope she is out of his life! You are worth of having a BETTER and SAFE life please! Tell me that you kick him out of the house please. Get away please!! Tell your kids and everyone who he really is, it will be liberating for you. She is too kind, you can hear it in her voice.
It’s heartbreaking to here her talk, she talks like she needs permission to talk and it’s because of how she was treated for over 30 years. She seems like such an amazing lady and reminds me of my grandma always putting others before herself. I really hope she finds closure and can move on past this trauma.
I feel so bad for this woman. If my father was doing this to my mother, I'd send him to jail myself. Shameful to for the sons to let their mother go through that. Pathetic.
Growing up with a single mom in a household of temporary abuse, I cry hearing her pain. If she were my mom, I would take her in yesterday. I pray she gets healing. She deserves that.
To see someone in this situation who feels so trapped is absolutely heartbreaking. I've begged my mother to come live with me. I'd take care of her and the kids. She's been afraid to leave with small kids. Now she has stage 3 cancer in her early 40s and feels trapped due to insurance. No other insurance will pick her up until she's 5 years cancer free (at least for any cancer care). Devastating!
A wise friend told me once, you are stronger than you think you are. I said that to myself everyday. I became what he said I was. You should see me now. So I say to you, you are stronger than you think you are. You’ve got this.
Anyone who is abusive whether it's me or someone else needs time in the slammer! I put up with abuse on and off for about a year, mustered the courage to leave in 2020...it just wasn't getting any better even with a pastor counseling her. I am as joy-filled as can be and living in my purpose HALLELUJAHHHHHHHHH
Yes! Praise God you got out!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 same here. 14 years. Almost 4 years out and I'm happier and more joyful and peaceful than I've ever been in my whole entire life!! Hallelujah indeed!!
@@starlingswallow AMEEEEEEEN YAYYYYYYY. A 14 year investment just gone down the toilet, maaaan must have been sooooo tough to deal with the emotional repercussions of it all, but like me your alive because you could have been murdered, you have your peace, your sanity, your joy, your life!!!
$800,000? Get the best lawyer in Dallas, sue that animal for every penny, and move on with your head held high, Ann! Disown your sons, while you're at it.
@@SingingAesthetician Because they never once stood up for their mother. Instead, they sided with their degenerate dad. In my book, they don't deserve a goddamn dime!
@SingingAesthetician Because they enable the husband's abuse of his wife with phrases like" Oh, you lnow what Dad is like." Well-known phrase from the enablers in a disfunctional, abusive family' system.
Sons just do that for some reason! Drives me insane. My aunt's been abused for years by her husband. She has two sons and they both defend the father. She is all alone 😔
Men usually defend each other against women, because they want the privilege to abuse, too. Most men’s attitude is that everything is the woman’s fault.
They've been abused to guys. We have to have grace for everyone in this situation. I grew up in an abusive home you'll do whatever so the abuser will leave you alone. It's trauma when she gets out they all need to get counseling. It's hard work but they all are dealing with this differently.
She sounds like a really cute person. She can easily find someone who loves her for who she is. Don't forget, when you leave an abusive situation, take your pets. People who will abuse you, will also abuse your pets.
I couldn't believe I was hearing so much of my life through this lady's call. I have been married 22 years to a verbally abusive husband. I have wanted out for so long now. I'm 66 and I too was married young, divorced and ten years later met this guy.He acted so kind and nice. Everyone including me thought he was so nice. People still think he is so nice! It is so aggravating because I know the real person he is. He had his own master bedroom since the day we married. Never touched me. The marriage is only on paper. I want to be Free of him also. I don't drive which is another reason I ended up here so long. Thank you so much John, you are so helpful to other people. Bless You.
I hope you are able to leave your husband. You deserve to be safe and loved! ❤ My father was abusive and my mom never left him. I know it's not easy. Sending love and prayers! ❤ 🙏
So many women stay in terrible marriages because they want the children to have their fathers present. The guaranteed result is that the kids are permanently damaged from growing up with an abusive father in the house.
I’m gonna say don’t ever stay with an abuser don’t stay because they move onto the next person and they do the same stuff. These people don’t really change they are who they are don’t waste your time you can’t change anybody you can’t fix anybody and you never should marry someone that you think you need to change, marry somebody that you’re happy with who they are
Thanks for sharing Ann. My dad broke my fingers when I was high school. I had to forgive myself for not running away and taking abuse as an older child.
One word: conscienceless. Know the traits. Same traits. Same stories from victims. "Everyone thinks he is great." Traits: blames everyone but themselves, lies, charming to others, etc. Learn the traits. Save your life.
When she said it was her sons wedding the next day and she didn’t know what to do… boy does that hit home.. I’m getting married soon and the emotional, verbal and physical abuse I’ve experienced from my family really has me wondering what to do.. I’m getting married to the best blessing in my life who’s been there through the thick and thin for me.. and I completely understand when she said “I want free”.. from the abuse
I wish you the very best in healing and health. Sometimes family is the furthest from being real family and a safe haven. It just takes 1 demented bear to wreck havoc on everyone's peace and joy for decades and decades. Thank God you're blessed with someone with whom you can break the cycle and reach your own healing for your children.
Another thing to know about leaving an abuser- it’s the most dangerous time when you leave. Please do not ever go back for anything. Clothes, furniture, nothing. Sometimes women return to get stuff and they end up dead. This finger breaking guy is obviously dangerous. Please get everything together that you can’t live without- like pictures, birth certificates, clothes, etc. and when you leave- leave only once knowing you will never be back. Everything else can be replaced but you cannot. God Bless you❤️
@nancinew8288 - In other words, act like there's a huge fire coming and you get out everything you need and flee. Best to orepare some things in advance.
Ann you are such a force to be reckoned with!!! It may have taken you 30 years but the strength you’ve gathered is astronomical. I’m obsessed with you!! God bless and protect you as you do this God’s way.
I have seen the women in my family stay in horrible marriages and it makes me feel like I never want to get married. I would rather be alone and have my peace. I don't need that bull$&it😞. And on another note, most parents don't want to burden their children. We have begged my mom to come stay with us to get away from her husband. 😩😩
Ann, you are worthy of a life without abuse!!!! Enough already! Do yourself a favor and don't take anymore abuse from your husband. Just make sure you do it safely. Sounds like he just wants a punching bag and someone to cook and clean for him. That is not a marriage.
Where are her kids. My dad breaks my moms fingers and I’m needing bail $. No I’m not joking, this is gross that this woman has been walking this travesty.
Absolutely ..what's with the sons, they didn't react like anyone decent would expect them to ....a few mild threats thrown his way would have at least showed they care for their Mom
It’s nuts bc I get upset at my mom for not getting me and my sisters out of the house from my dad. I am eternally grateful for my mom keeping the family intact but I am messed up. I can’t tell what’s “love” vs abuse. My mom says she doesn’t leave bc she loves him. I really believe that. Now I’m an adult woman, have a man giving me everything I want (a ring, a house, his commitment, desire to have a family w/ me). And I am terrified. I ran far away. I sabotage and find every small reason I can to avoid getting “stuck” like she did. Healing this pain is incredibly hard. The fear is overwhelming to the point I only want to focus on my job. I can’t have a family and fail at it. Would hurt too much.
She seems like such a sweet woman. I feel so bad for her. Her husband sounds like a narcissist. She needs to escape and leave without telling him. There’s no talking to him and explaining herself. I hope all the best for her and I’ll be praying for her inshallah. 🤲🏽
I feel so much for this strong woman. I grew up watching my father abuse my mother physically. I also ask her why she didn’t leave sooner. The saddest part is every time she finally got out, my 2 older siblings would cut her out of their lives for leaving their dad. She would come back to keep her kids and grandchildren in her life. She’ll be 58 this year and she does now have a relationship with my brother but sadly she never had the relationship she wanted with my sister who passed away in October. He’s such a POS, he tried to use my sister’s death to reel her in once more. I’ve cut him out of my life do to the abuse he put me through growing up and my life has only gotten better, my mental state is improving and I feel free from him, finally
Ann, I was in your shoes for six years, and fortunately was able to get out. I worried about everybody but myself and thought it was my responsibility to slink around behind him and fix everything. He even took me to a church so they could teach me to be a better, more submissive wife and at one point is was institutionalized due to "anxiety disorder". Please, Ann, you can do better. And BTW, I fear for the wives of her sons.
Yes! Those sons should not be allowed to date or have sex with any woman without a thorough mental health screening and criminal background screening. I pray they don't ever have kids. Intergenerational Trauma and Abuse just gets passed on with each generation.
26 years and I finally left at 48. I had the locks changed and had him served with a DVTRO and divorce papers. It was VERY difficult because he is charming… no one knew. When I left I felt AMAZING-FREE!! I remarried 5 years later… 29 years to a wonderful, loving supportive (younger) man. NEVER stay… you risk your life. Get a good therapist who understands abuse and knows how to help you readjust your barometer. You have more life to live- NOW is the time! Don’t live with your kids-get your OWN place and figure out who you are… all the best.❤
My cousin is in jail because his wife tried to leave him after he abused her for years. When she tried to leave, he took a kitchen knife and stabbed her in the throat in front on their 4 year old son. Dont judge women who "choose" to stay with abusers. These violent aholes dont like to loose and will retaliate when their victims try to leave. Often they stalk and menace them after they leave and threaten the children. These women are just trying to survive.
@Melinda-sz4lhgod people like you are a menace. You don’t understand the mindset of someone who has been persistently belittled and broken for years, to the point that their self efficacy has been chipped back to nothing. Just don’t saying anything if it’s not constructive. These situations are dangerous and nuanced. In abusive relationships, the most dangerous time is when a victim leaves or gets pregnant. That’s when the abuse escalated - like clockwork. Some of these abusers are sophisticated and watchful. Maybe he caught her with a packed bag, or moving money so she could get out. You just don’t know - so zip your lip.
So... What you're saying is she got stabbed in the throat because she didn't do it the right way? I'm sorry, I don't believe everyone has the resources or opportunity to leave in a safe way and I don't think that makes it their fault.
Are you well? What a stupid comment! Do you know how many women leave the "right way" and have ended up dead? Do you? You're comment is absolutely nuts.
This call made me cry. I often question myself for staying with my abusive ex for more than a decade. It's so sad...what they are behind closed doors differs so much to they really are that you feel like you are losing your mind.
Omg... I pray this caller gets out of this situation quickly and safely. I'm so sorry she and her children had to live like this for so long. Sadly, by listening to whatever dr. said it's better for the kids to grow up with a father, she allowed her kids to grow up with a monster. I really pray that her sons do not carry on in their dad's ways toward their families.🤦🏽♀️
Please know that Dr. James Dobson would NEVER tell a woman to stay with an abusive husband. Attending the same church as the Dobsons, I've heard him speak on the subject, and you can feel comfortable knowing that he would not want you to stay in this marriage.
I don't think he says it either. However, as she talked about it's other things he says without making a caveat that creates issues. Personally, I experienced this too and had to get past some of his words to stop tolerating mistreatment. Maybe it's unfortunate he doesn't speak on the subject and clear up confusion.
If they followed God, they would be focused on exposing sin and repentance, not reconciliation, in marriage, like Jesus does. Not too much content like this from him even though it affects over 25% of marriages. They make it obscure and confusing for a reason, because they idolize marriage. Abuse should be specifically lined out and very clearly articulated to where there is absolutely zero question as to what their stance is on it. Just my two cents.
This call was an emotional roller coaster😢. Lady, you been through so much. Im so excited for you and being courageous enough to leave bone breaker behind.
I grew up listening to Dr Dobson….yes, he would say don’t get divorced in most circumstances BUT he would never say to stay in an abusive or adulterous marriage!!
Yes, makes me so angry when people say “what about your marriage vows?” Also the “abusers can change”. Both are true but what about safety, and the children’s futures, your mental well being, happiness, etc. etc. etc. Often women who are abused, are blamed for the abusers lack of self control.
It was a Freudian slip, because tlets be honest weddings are essentially funerals for the person you once were and now the government is dictating how you proceed or dissolve your relationship
Dr. Delony. Please ask Dr. Laura Schlessinger to come on your show. She wrote several books inclucing: 10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives. She said there are 3 things that she believed justified divorce: Abuse, adultery, addiction.
Spot on John! You were incredible on this episode!! Anne, 'Called To Peace'...ministry, no cost, support groups, information, was incredible resource for me when I was in your same shoes. There is freedom and healing!!
I know this was 7 months ago but please be careful ANN! Don't tell him you're leaving until you're in a safe place! A lady from my town was just murdered by her abusive husband before he shot himself. Please please be careful and get legal advice and counseling advice on how to proceed with leaving. Don't be alone with him afterwards always have one or two people with you if you have to go to the house to collect your things. He's hurt you once he's not going to hesitate to hurt you if you try and leave. Please get away from this man but please be strategic and careful! You're sweet and caring and I hope you find the freedom you're looking for. God bless you!
God bless this woman- this is why women have to be financially independent or have the skill sets to be financially independent. Even in the best marriages, spouses can die or get sick . I am so so sad for Ann, praying everything works out for her.
I left a toxic relationship. It was my first marriage, early twenties, and left with nothing but my clothes and daughter. No family and in a foreign country. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Years have passed and I am so happy I left. I respect this lady who is so much more older than what I was yet still is determined to do the right thing! I know so many younger women than her in her situation that refuse to walk away even if they are miserable. Yet this lady is determined! I hope this lady lives the happiest life ever once she walks away! She deserves it all❤
Yeah, he knew you wouldn't leave just before the wedding so he thought he could do what he wanted. It's like abusers who behave even worse on a trip because you're trapped there. It's true we were told kids need a father but if you stay, you teach them that families are all about abuse.
Very true my ex showed up where i was staying when i left after 40 yrs , unannounced , he knew i was alone , drunk with a loaded 9 mm i was so low i just told him i am not going back if you want to kill me just do i don’t care either way i will not be going home. He left thankfully but he also left a shell casing on the kitchen counter for what i don’t know as a scare tactic a reminder i don’t know. But i am finally free of his lies cheating emotional and physical abuse. Life is a struggle but i will survive.
Her phone call just saved some young lady somewhere from a lifetime with an abuser.
Why does it have to be a lady she saves? Why can't she save a man who is being abused?
@@mrseliephant Could be, but likely a woman, since more women are abused.
@@strnglhld I disagree. That statement can not be verified. If all people actually reported it, which they don't. I know the numbers you claim would be different. I have some colleagues who work DV hotlines. Men are the primary callers. Let that sink in.
@@mrseliephant You’re lying. I’m not sure why. But, let’s check the most recent stats:
On June 5, 2020, The Hotline released a two-page COVID-19 Special Report covering data from March 16 through May 16. It shows that among 62,413 contacts to The Hotline nationwide, 15% were male, 78% were female, and the remainder were unknown or other.
Before that:
In 2013, 13% of documented contacts to The Hotline identified themselves as male victims.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline
I’ve volunteered for an organization that had, among other things, a hotline for either gender to call. The VAST majority of callers has always been women. What you say isn’t true anywhere for any major hotline in the country.
You don’t have to lie to try and make a point.
@@mrseliephant oof. I said lady because more likely a young lady would relate to her story. Living in 2022 is so fun because making an innocent comment on a touching TH-cam video gets someone nit- picking your words. I could say, "I love strawberries." and someone will comment, "What's wrong with oranges? What do you have against them!?" It's tiring.
YES, SIR OR MA'AM, I AM AWARE THAT MEN CAN AND DO GET ABUSED. Carry on.
She is literally describing my life. I just left my husband of 34 years because of his abuse. All 3 of our kids said "FINALLY" when I said I couldn't do it anymore. Everyone thinks he is such a great guy. Behind closed doors he is a monster to his family. I just left a few months ago.
You are so strong. I wish you a future full of love and happiness. God bless you ❤
How can so many of us women be in this same spot? 35 yrs here
You’ll be amazed how easy life is when you’re not managing someone else’s emotions. 👍🏻All the best to you.
I know a woman married to a man for over 20 years they have 8 kids together and he is showing signs of mental decline. My grandma developed Alzheimer's and I watched her deteriorate until she passed. This woman's husband reminds me of when my grandma started declining. He gets confused, he's argumentative, he gets super defensive and he's abusive. Two of the oldest girls, 14 and 16, had to call the cops because the dad was kicking the 16 year old after he had pushed her to the ground. I wish the mom would leave this jerk, but neither of the parents have had a job for years. It's a terrible mess. The mom truly believes a miracle is going to happen. But sometimes, a miracle is getting away from a monster.. I don't know. I'm just there for the kids and I tell them that they can ALWAYS call me if they don't feel safe or need a ride. 😢 Really, the only reason I have anything to do with them is so I can make sure the kids are safe otherwise I wouldnt have anything to do with these foolish people
How did you muster up the strength to leave? I'm looking for the strength, or at least some direction: do I stay feeling trapped or do I leave?
1. Get a lawyer
2. Don't tell the husband or anyone that you are leaving
3. Get a virtual mailbox or mailbox that uses a real address for all future matters
4. Get a separate bank account in your name
5. Get a phone
6. Find all the important papers and make copies
7. Get a storage unit and put important items & papers there
8. Find a place to live and don't give that address to anyone only use the mailbox address.
All the best
1st rule. Don't tell hundred thousands of people you got nearly a million dollars. Alone 60 year old lady.
Do the above. Narcissistic abuse is hard to go thru you are saving yor life.
The best advice! I wish i knew all of this before I left.
Get half of his retirement and SS benefits
Agreed
The only thing worse than staying with an abuser for 30 years, is staying with him for 30 years and 1 more day.
Ugh.
BRAV0
❤
Is possible I didn't 29 years in sill with him
She's married to a narcissist. They often are seen as great people outside the home and people find it hard to believe they're abusive.
I thought the exact same thing.
Over the years as it’s gradually happening, it just starts to become more & more normal. It happened to me as well. It was a an epiphany, I saw it as clear as could be, I’m in a domestic violence, marriage, I am the victim of this. My kids are victims of witnessing this..” I am leaving a 30 year marriage as we speak.
These men are insecure, emotionally, immature bullies.” They would never do to another person what they would do to a woman or a child. It’s really evil & demonic.
God bless us all and keep us safe .
🙏🏻🩵
It's easy to believe your at fault watching them in public being false and charming they try to buy affection on their terms .
So true! Because they’re so nice to the people outside the family, and Mr. Hyde lives at home.
💔😔.👍👍👍
I’m a 6ft6 man and when she said that man broke her fingers, it broke my heart and I felt rage for her husband. This is such a sad call
I'm 6'7 and think the same thing
I'm 6'2 and I know I can't exactly amount to you but I can say that guys like this give me excellent gym fuel...😢
I have had so many people ignore my asking for help. So many judgements from people who don't get it. I was told by a lawyer I trusted who happened to like him. She just said I can't help you but don't eat anything he offers you. So? You believe me and are still turning your back.
What does height have to do with this lmao😂
Im 5'7 but also a woman so I belong to the long as well
The way she said “ok thank you” when Dr. John said she isn’t dumb and she didn’t fail had me in tears. This poor woman. I will be keeping her in my prayers.
I cried with her....
@@katiefountain2407 same here.
I've cried through most of this. this poor woman.
🍒👏🏼…. YESSSSS - those tears BROKE MY HEARTSTRINGS ❤️🩹 ugh….I just wanna HUG HER…..forEVER🍒
…GREAT JOB BROTHA’greatest great advise !!! Much luv from ur virtual SDcALI sista’from’anotha’mista!!!
This was hard to hear. I feel very bad for this woman. She is really starting over in every aspect of her life. Beginning to value herself first after decades of not understanding how to do this for herself will be a challenge. Hoping her daughter took her in temporarily.
Don’t let him know you’re leaving. Act like it’s all hunky dory and leave when he’s not home. Get out now.
Absolutely! The safest way to do it is to not let them know you are leaving.
@@marymccann6110 John really messed up on this call. He told her what to do on air. Giving her abuser details on where she was going and how to find her. What he we should of done is act like she should stay. And he should have said I have a book for you can you stay on the line and get me your address. Then off the air set everything up to get her away from him right away. So she would be safe that day and from then on.
Amen
@@jwehrli6 That would be good
@@jwehrli6 telling a woman to stay after her husband broke her fingers would basically end his career. My solution would be to air the clip a few months after the actual conversation.
This is sad. If she’s telling this just imagine what she’s not telling.
Totally agree
I don't wanna know😭😭
For sure, it's horrible when people are genuinely abused, especially children. It's also sickening when women say they are abused by a spouse that they simply don't get along with. This woman is faithful through things that she did not need to be
Don't tell them you're leaving!!!
My best friend asked her boyfriend about fooling around with a girl. He hit her like a man. We were both hugging each other and crying. She was so forgiving. I wanted to be like her. I told her not to take him back! She took him back. She's not here anymore. I think God took her, cause he's tired of these men abusing her! I miss you Jonelle!!🎉
💔
She has Complex PTSD from abuse in a marriage. There are MILLIONS of women in this situation as we speak
And men.
@@mrseliephant Likely hundreds of thousands of men in this situation, and millions of women in these situations. NPD and ASPD rates are significantly higher in men than women. Cluster B Personality Disorders are the prime reasons for abusive behavior. You are right that there are men trapped in abusive situations as well -- None of it is OK -- but your reply is also very inappropriate for the topic at hand --- you need to be changing things on this front instead of wasting energy minimizing the abuse of women -- minimizing the stories of abuse about any human being allows it continue to everybody (including men).
@@athens31415 I am a woman and I disagree. The topic is ABUSE. VERY appropriate. Don't genderize abuse victims. ANY person of any gender can be abused or be a perpetrator in any relationship dynamic.
I know there are women who abuse men, who fake pregnancies, humiliate men, who would set up a dude to "teach him a lesson", etc. You can't get real statistics out of it, so stop trying. The statistics are bull crap. Anyone with any inkling about statistics can tell you they are crap. If you want I can pick it apart like a vulture for you, especially since I have a social work background. Open your eyes hon. I stand up for ALL abuse victims.
@@mrseliephant Sorry that you don't believe in Math, Statistics, or Logic for that matter. I also recommend re-reading my comment since you clearly missed the entire point of it.
No not all victims of abuse are women. Your little statistics are not accurate at all. Any statistician will tell you that. Data is only as accurate as those who actually report it and those who accurately collect it. You can absolutely fudge numbers through collection and reporting of data by excluding data in studies or by purposely only interviewing certain people/populations. By your logic you make women out to be victims, so no I don't go by your logic. Don't act like you know me hon. Your little childish insults do nothing to me. I read your point. Your point minimizes the abuse of everyone else besides women, so no I don't even remotely agree with you.
My mom stayed with my narcissistic dad for 75 years (married 71). Almost 2 years since she passed. I wish she'd left him. She deserved better.
My mom was treated horrible emotionally by my father. She ended up with an emotional breakdown in her early 70s. And then dementia. Been in a nursing home since. She Just turned 82. My father passed on 2 yrs ago. Due to her abuse she was a non attentive mother. It was a mess.
I feel this. @@BrassyBrunette
Thank you 🙏🏻
So sorry to hear that.
May your mom RIP 🙏🏻
This lady’s story broke my heart. Hearing her cry was awful. It’s truly never too late to leave and create a new life. She can do it ❤
My name is not Ann but I AM Ann. I took this for 51 1/2 years. I am long past crying. He departed 9 years ago. Haven’t missed him one second. I’ve heard all “he’s so nice, you’re so lucky”.
You're a survivor.
You are finally free. I'm so sorry you suffered so long.
I think there's alot if Annes out there me too 30 yrs of all the above
My name is also Ann and I went thru 9 years of absolute hell married to a narcissist. He was verbally and emotionally abusive. I believe he was about to become physically abusive as well. I packed a bag and left - he thought I was going to work.
GET OUT! GET OUT NOW! You deserve happiness after all you’ve been through. A peaceful life is waiting for you on the other side of abuse.
@@annwallace9537 30 yrs how stupid I wasted my life so yes all you get out NOW you deserve better that goes for men also as a family member is dealing with a female Narcissistic Abuser so sad Bi polar for sure
"Everyone thinks he's nice." I can relate to that! My ex killed the woman he dated after me and he still has people who think he's great and don't believe it.
So true! Typical narcissist! So glad you got out and are okay! Blessings to you! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Omg, my ex's mom said that about his father, and I didn't understand completely until I found myself saying the exact same thing about my ex. He was Jekyll and Hyde. Wonderful in public, but a monster at home.
@@Hatbox948 That's par for the course for a psycho!
Wouldn’t he be in prison
@@nimanixo He was. He's dead.
After 41 years of being his verbal punching bag, I finally left and never looked back! I was 60 years old. I learned to be my own best friend and to love myself. Life is good!
The fact her sons excuse this and say "oh that's just how Dad is" makes me very worried for their wives.
With good reason!
Like father, like sons
They’ve learned to discount their mother and treat her like dirt, of course they’re continuing the legacy
Gotta love the, “boys will be boys” mentality. ❤🙄
Praying she hires an excellent Attorney, keeps the house,full alimoney and half of all Retirnent Funds.
Fair, but better to leave with nothing and be free - if necessary.
Whoever told women that staying in a relationship only because “kids need a father” is who really needs to have their fingers broken. Yes kids need a father but not a father who abused their mother, or a father who is not emotionally available for them or the mom. Women don’t stop existing just because they have children. If you are unhappy and being disrespected you need to leave that person.
THIS!! The sad part is that her children probably picked up on the abuse and learned to either be abusers or accept abuse. She has been conditioned to stay since so many women think that being single is a sin. I rather be single, happy, and childless than be in an abusive relationship
You mean well but you simply just don't get it. An abusive situation isn't as simple as just leaving. I'm very happy for you that you know such a naivety.
Society tells women to stay bc women are known to ruin children by breaking up the family. Same thing happened to my mum! You get told off and looked down on by your neighbours, community and even church.
@@porcelaindolli3 I know abuse is complex and I don’t understand it. My point is that both men and women are well past the cave-man times, everyone should draw a hard line of respect and stick to it so it doesn’t become chronic abuse. She gave him a pass the first time he cheated or seriously disrespected her, that’s what led to this.
@@Whatorwellsaid21 As a survivor of domestic violence (DV) myself, I agreed with your first comment. You were spot on there. But the truth is that it's not as easy as simply drawing a hard line. The truth is that for many survivors of DV, we've been conditioned at some point within our lives to believe that we needed to accept the abuse, and that we deserved to be treated this way. Healing only comes when we learn to love ourselves enough to realize that we do not deserve this, and learn to walk away. But, even then, we have years of unlearning the negative patterns we were taught make for healthy relationships, but in reality only lead to further abuse. On every level we could want the abusive relationships to end, and to want to step into healthy relationships, but until we're actually taught what constitutes a healthy relationship, we will never know what to look for so that we can find them. Thus, it is *never* as simple as simple as drawing a hard line, because even after that hard line is drawn, we still have to learn what healthy relationships look like. To say that her failure to draw a hard line "is what lead to this," is to ultimately victim blame, and fail to understand the true complexities of the cycle of abuse.
Staying in an abusive relationship because of your kids. Only shows your kids it’s okay to be abused.
Not so easy to leave. Yes they should, many who try are often killed by their abuser. Why don't you tell the abusive men to alter their behavior and not telling the women they have to solve the problem themselves? Laying the problem on women's shoulders is typical of society's idea that women should fix the issue. Put the blame and responsibility on the abuser. Asking "why didn't she leave? " is focusing on the wrong person; that is a victim blaming mentality. Yes the abused should keep themselves safe ASAP, but let's focus the abuser who is responsible for the problem in the first place.
@TeresaCatherine-wi9co she has a good point but so do you. ❤
@@TeresaCatherine-wi9co I’m aware of all of this, but thanks for verbalizing what I didn’t for the masses. Abuse is a complex situation and I was only pointing out the generational implications. What I want to also say for the masses if you feel like you’ll die if you leave and feel stuck. You’ll probably end up buried 10 feet below if you don’t ever leave too. Not a way to live a life that you never got to live. My heart goes out to anyone going through it and I hope for the best for them that they get out.
@@TeresaCatherine-wi9cobecause you can't reason with a narcissistic abuser? Even if it changes temporarily its not going to last. Jfc dense much?
I just got to the point where I have had enough. I always tried to make it work for the kids, but it is not the solution. I don’t want my girls to have the life/spouse I had. But it’s not easy…
I know this show replays a month or two later.
But be careful.
Move out and then tell him you’re getting the divorce.
He might not want to split the $750,000 and think you’d be better off in the river floating downstream.
He has already shown you what he’s capable of.
Believe him.
Absolutely: she needs a solid exit plan and needs to watch what she says to her kids, they may warn dad.
My friend did that. She became a lawyer and then realized she should leave. She took the kids to a hotel.
Wow .. that is powerful
All young ladies out there, PLEASE TAKE HEED! I was emotionally and mentally abused regularly for almost 30 years! I wasted my youth on him! After finally left, he made a suicide post on Facebook, all lies, and then committed suicide. Now years later, I am still dealing with the repercussions of this. People love to punish even if they hated that person themselves. Young ladies PLEASE LISTEN! Run when you start seeing these red flags and don’t look back
Amen 🙏🏽
Can we get a follow-up with ANN. She sounded like such a sweet lady. I feel so bad for her situation. I would love to hear how everything turned out, FREE!
Me too!
Yes!
Yes
Would love to know how Ann is now- please update us - such a sweet lady ! 😊
Yesss!
Hearing this woman's tears when he told her she isn't dumb or an idiot hit me in the gut. I hope she got far away.
She cut off her friend who did something against Gods word. Mam, breaking your spouses bones is also breaking Gods word. I hope she gets all the help she needs 🙏🏾
I'm wondering if that is the woman he possibly was seeing?
Okay! The friend probably didn't hate gay people or something.
We dont have to get married or have children!!!!
The God of the Bible allowed men to kidnap, enslave, rape and kill women, so I have no idea why he'd be upset by a few broken bones
@@CyeOutsiderThere are always times of judgement once the cup of wickedness is full. Worldly people call it Karma...what goes around comes around.
God never approved the behaviors you described. Human (and demonic) choices are what causes these horrible abuses. The only one coming to the rescue, for the willing/believing, is Jesus
It’s been years since I’ve cried, but when she said he broke her fingers, the tears just welled up in my eyes. Her husband ought to come a little further south here in Texas and see if he still has that same type of energy.
🤣
I live in Dallas and I got some bolt cutters to even the score.
@@pimaggot me too.
You’re a good person with a huge heart. God bless you❤️
Exactly.
My abusive ex BF was amazingly charming to others. They all thought he was great. They didn't see how he was in private.
I've been there. Everyone loves them but they wear a mask. Mine wasn't physical but emotional/narcissist.
YES!!
It’s mind blowing how so many men treat every other woman with the upmost respect, but treat their wife/S.O like garbage.
Doesn’t make sense 🤔😕
im there also....he's a great human being to people outside but a monster when he is home
Record their behaviour in private then show to all these people!
Thank goodness for cameras…so much can’t be hidden now.
I left after 32 years of abuse. It’s worth it. You’re worth it. Don’t give up on yourself. I felt stupid and useless but it was just time to get out. I lived in my car for 7 months. I’m broke but safe.
So glad you got out 😢
Happy you are out of that situation and safe now. I hope you find an apartment soon.
I was 12 years in an abusive relationship. I finally ended up going to a crisis center, was hospitalized, and put in group therapy. I was terrified. Fear of the future and unknown is the worst. I had him removed from my home, that I alone owned, three months after that. It was the best thing that ever happened! It's now 30 tears later, I'm married to a kind, patient, and loving man, and I am so grateful for my life. Your abuser does not, in anyway, deserve you.
Well done 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I’m so happy for you 😅
To the people judging those who don't leave an abuser:
I guess you've never had someone love bomb you, act like someone they aren't, trick you and then brainwash you into thinking that the horrible person they are slowly becoming is _your fault_ so that you stay, try changing everything about yourself so that they will go back to the person you once married in the beginning or, a new person who's your partner and lover who will grow *with* you. And all the while this is slowly creeping in, insidiously, your self esteem is being slowly chipped away at, little by little, inch by inch, insult by insult; neglecting touching you, refusing to sleep with you, guilt and shaming you, raging at you so that you are terrified of them, spending all *their* money while you slave next to them unappreciated and unnoticed, addicted to the business so that work becomes their mistress, isolates you from friends and family and blames YOU. All of this to the point that you want to die, all while still trying to show them you love them by putting up with their crap....thinking that if they see you suffer...they'll *finally* GET it, they'll see the depths of your love and willingness and change. They have convinced you it is YOUR FAULT. All of it is your fault.
Thank your lucky stars that you haven't gone through this. And I pray God softens your heart.
You have no idea. Someone who has an idea would never judge another person who's gone through utter HELL.
I'll say this: as soon as I saw clearly that what I was experiencing was abuse, I left.
Many people are so damn snowed by the twisting, lies, gaslighting, word salad, beat down by severe neglect, isolated from *everyone* that their reality is so small and they have nothing to compare it to, only what they're IN and what their abuser *TELLS* them....that they _don't see it._
This was my story. 14 years of it.
Free almost 4 years, married to an amazing man God miraculously sent me and I have more joy and peace than I could ever have dreamed of having ♥️💕
Only by the Grace of God.
So important to share these details from the inside. Thank you and I am sorry ❤️
Thank you for your story and courage, and congratulations on your new freedom!
My wife left me last year, but every thing you said she did to me. My circle of relationships grew smaller and smaller and she did each thing you mentioned above.
I’m still lonely, but peaceful.
People like this weaponize confusion. I believe the essence of the reason people stay in situations like these is because a) they have no objectivity and don't necessarily see it as abuse and b) they fundamentally don't trust themselves or their judgement anymore. So so sad.
Some people stay because of convenience and by convenience I mean that it’s easier to deal with what you already know than to start from scratch and some people have low selfesteem as well and then there’s those that don’t want to go out and work and support themselves and their children so they deal with their husbands abuse because he’s paying the rent and bills
Yes, some people support you, others despise you for leaving.
Please leave this relationship. Reminds me of my mother. My dad beat her like he was beating a grown man. He beat her so bad that he pushed her thumb inside her hand, you could only see her nail . She finally left and now he's old, sick, and alone. Don't feel sorry for him one bit.
💖
I'm glad he's alone ge deserves it.
My gaad
Oh gosh. So sorry.
I do NOT feel sorry for the ba'tard one bit! Glad your mom's finally okay...I hope.
I let my ex come back once. The 2nd time was even worse: more gaslighting, smearking, word salad, more alcahol, more cheating, more lies. It was awful. 3 years no contact. Life is beautiful again ❤
There is no second time, because nothing has changed since the first time. I'm happy you have ceased contact with this person.
@@denisesalles7248 thank you 🙂🎈🌸
This is so sad. If the son's wedding had been "ruined" it would have been her abusive husband's fault for breaking her fingers, not hers for saying something. Sadly people tend to blame the victim for "making drama" in situations like these. I hope she can stop blaming herself.
The sad part is that there are so many older women in this same situation.
And the good part is, that many old and young woman sorted out fucking cowards.
A couple ladies at my husband's old church left their abusers, and it was infuriating how some of the churchgoers responded. They both got shamed for not being able to pray and fix them, and they thought they should stay with abuse and with kids there. Some even gave out their new addresses behind their back.
Those are the ones that live in fantasy land
I'm so glad John slams this church behavior. Abusers are attracted to the church to justify their behavior.
Stop asking crap up, this isn't a thing.
@@ericallen371 abusers are attracted to any position of authority. Teachers for example.
Those awesome Christians.
Kind, caring people get used the most .
Yes Rebecca I just want to say that You are so right !! I've seen it happen to the nicest people
Probably. Maybe one can be nice but also have boundries and self respect
That's why we shouldn't teach our kids (especially daughters) to be obedient all the time. Let your kids form a habit of speaking up their minds and protest when they feel hurt. Don't let them think that their values are validated by other people and by marriage. They define their own values by taking care of themselves and that's it. Don't panic if other people criticize you for being selfish when you're just protecting your peace. They don't understand what you've been through and you don't need those unsupportive ones in your life.
@@linhc9552 That’s why I find it heartbreaking for women to be labeled as “lacking self worth” or “low self esteem” when they endure abuse. It a quick judgment of someone when for centuries girls have been taught to be obedient even now majority of men find a woman advocating for herself as difficult, too masculine, “modern woman” with negative connotations. Self worth is rarely taught as much as submission in society for women.
To the caller, proud of you for waking up from the illusions and lies you were told about being married. Say no to any type of abuse. Wishing you the best moving forward. 👍
She’s such a precious woman. When she said she didn’t want to move in with her kids 😢😢😢😢 she’s a really great mother. I’m sure they will be so happy to take her in for a season.
Ikr 😭
Yes, she's a rarity, a woman with a God given good heart. She's the type that would suffer harm but would do you no harm. I pray God's richest blessings for her.
I just want to give her a hug
Felt cornered or not... sick. She is so strong to have played the part for her son's happy day. Wow. I cannot imagine having to sell a lie about what happened.
He stole her joy so that she would remember the heartache and not the happiness of the wedding.
Her sons know what's up and they should have had her back!
You get used to it, to be blunt ❤
As the son in a verbally abusive marriage, it has always creeped me out when people say "oh he's so cool" when talking about my dad. It never fails to give me goosebumps.
Dude this is the sweetest lady I've ever heard, she is very naive and has been taken advantage of for so long, dude this is heavy.. touches me deeply..
I've always felt that my
Mom didn't do us any favor by staying w/my dad! She needs to model this courage for her kids! They need to see there are consequences for this abuse!!
My stepdad beat us all. He was horrible!!!!
You are putting it all on an abused person.
Lets change the narrative:
Father shouldnt stay on a family unit if they aré abusive.
Grown family members shouldnt make a blind eye.
We are only now as a society understanding a fragment of the horror and tribulación women suffer, withstand in abusive relationships. And mothers... This woman took a beaten to still give her sons what she was told was the best. No one acted on her defense for 34 years.
For other reasons i wished so much that my mom would've leave my dad but she couldnt. 😢
I hold no grudge or debt.
If anything i blame my dad for not giving her financial fredoom and support AND for being am asshole overall to a beautifull person, as also ground up family members that failed to support her.
LETS PUT THE BLAME WERE IT SHOULD BE AND NOT ON THE VICTIM.
Broke her fingers because she confront him of flirting?!?!?! I am so furious here. Poor woman! I hope she is out of his life! You are worth of having a BETTER and SAFE life please! Tell me that you kick him out of the house please. Get away please!! Tell your kids and everyone who he really is, it will be liberating for you. She is too kind, you can hear it in her voice.
Should have called police immediately press charges
Wife again .... But he thinks she is critical and controlling. A Jezebel.... What mine said.... And they really believe it!
I would have sued the SOB for injuries and had him arrested for assault and battery.
@@serahloeffelroberts9901 exactly!! MF!!!
It’s heartbreaking to here her talk, she talks like she needs permission to talk and it’s because of how she was treated for over 30 years.
She seems like such an amazing lady and reminds me of my grandma always putting others before herself. I really hope she finds closure and can move on past this trauma.
I noticed that as well. It's heartbreaking
Amen 🙏🏽
Physical assault = it's over. Anne you tried your best and deserve to live away from this man. Take care of yourself! Get out as soon as you can.
Period
Me it won’t get physical, talking to me anyhow, emotional, controlling I am out
I feel so bad for this woman. If my father was doing this to my mother, I'd send him to jail myself. Shameful to for the sons to let their mother go through that. Pathetic.
If you let him get to jail alive your a bad son
@@drippy2k211 I agree but your still a better son sending your father to jail for it than not doing anything.
Growing up with a single mom in a household of temporary abuse, I cry hearing her pain. If she were my mom, I would take her in yesterday. I pray she gets healing. She deserves that.
Mine was 43 years married and I divorced him. Finally living MY Life! Heal your past and move on to what brings You joy! It can be done! 💜🙏🏻💜
This is one of those cases where single motherhood is the better option…
💯
Louder for those who like to force marriage on women.
Society told her your nothing without marriage a man and children SO WRONG
Or spinsterhood
To see someone in this situation who feels so trapped is absolutely heartbreaking. I've begged my mother to come live with me. I'd take care of her and the kids. She's been afraid to leave with small kids. Now she has stage 3 cancer in her early 40s and feels trapped due to insurance. No other insurance will pick her up until she's 5 years cancer free (at least for any cancer care). Devastating!
😢 !
are things better now?
How is your mom doing now?
Dobson did say that. My mom listened to him. She was abused 31 years. Better to have an abusive dad than no dad. So not true.
Dobson is a sadistic a$$h***.
@@katiefountain2407 We men are commanded to love our wives the same way Christ loved the Church.
Smh.... that is why I don't do religion.
@@ineedhoez what do you think of Jesus?
Dobson is evil.
I hope anyone in an abusive relationship hears this call!
🎉
A wise friend told me once, you are stronger than you think you are. I said that to myself everyday. I became what he said I was. You should see me now. So I say to you, you are stronger than you think you are. You’ve got this.
Anyone who is abusive whether it's me or someone else needs time in the slammer! I put up with abuse on and off for about a year, mustered the courage to leave in 2020...it just wasn't getting any better even with a pastor counseling her. I am as joy-filled as can be and living in my purpose HALLELUJAHHHHHHHHH
Yes! Praise God you got out!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 same here. 14 years. Almost 4 years out and I'm happier and more joyful and peaceful than I've ever been in my whole entire life!! Hallelujah indeed!!
@@starlingswallow AMEEEEEEEN YAYYYYYYY. A 14 year investment just gone down the toilet, maaaan must have been sooooo tough to deal with the emotional repercussions of it all, but like me your alive because you could have been murdered, you have your peace, your sanity, your joy, your life!!!
Thank you for having the courage to speak out!
Yes Jail time and on some type of registry for life
Good for you! Evil people
$800,000? Get the best lawyer in Dallas, sue that animal for every penny, and move on with your head held high, Ann! Disown your sons, while you're at it.
@@katiefountain2407 Thanks for failing to understand the nuances of abusive relationships.
Why the sons
@@SingingAesthetician Because they never once stood up for their mother. Instead, they sided with their degenerate dad. In my book, they don't deserve a goddamn dime!
@SingingAesthetician Because they enable the husband's abuse of his wife with phrases like" Oh, you lnow what Dad is like."
Well-known phrase from the enablers in a disfunctional, abusive family' system.
It's hurts my soul that she's that old and barely realizing things.
Different generation hon. Women stayed
I'm upset with her sons for defending the father...do they not realize that man broke her bones? What is wrong with them?!
Sons just do that for some reason! Drives me insane. My aunt's been abused for years by her husband. She has two sons and they both defend the father. She is all alone 😔
Men usually defend each other against women, because they want the privilege to abuse, too. Most men’s attitude is that everything is the woman’s fault.
They've been abused to guys. We have to have grace for everyone in this situation. I grew up in an abusive home you'll do whatever so the abuser will leave you alone. It's trauma when she gets out they all need to get counseling. It's hard work but they all are dealing with this differently.
@Melinda-sz4lh Dang! That is wild!
@Melinda-sz4lhthat’s not whacko, that’s her being traumatised
She sounds like a really cute person. She can easily find someone who loves her for who she is. Don't forget, when you leave an abusive situation, take your pets. People who will abuse you, will also abuse your pets.
I couldn't believe I was hearing so much of my life through this lady's call. I have been married 22 years to a verbally abusive husband. I have wanted out for so long now. I'm 66 and I too was married young, divorced and ten years later met this guy.He acted so kind and nice. Everyone including me thought he was so nice. People still think he is so nice! It is so aggravating because I know the real person he is. He had his own master bedroom since the day we married. Never touched me. The marriage is only on paper. I want to be Free of him also. I don't drive which is another reason I ended up here so long. Thank you so much John, you are so helpful to other people. Bless You.
Please find a way to leave him! Could you learn how to drive?
I hope you are able to leave your husband. You deserve to be safe and loved! ❤ My father was abusive and my mom never left him. I know it's not easy. Sending love and prayers! ❤ 🙏
So many women stay in terrible marriages because they want the children to have their fathers present. The guaranteed result is that the kids are permanently damaged from growing up with an abusive father in the house.
I’m gonna say don’t ever stay with an abuser don’t stay because they move onto the next person and they do the same stuff. These people don’t really change they are who they are don’t waste your time you can’t change anybody you can’t fix anybody and you never should marry someone that you think you need to change, marry somebody that you’re happy with who they are
Thanks for sharing Ann. My dad broke my fingers when I was high school. I had to forgive myself for not running away and taking abuse as an older child.
☹
♥️
God Bless you're a good person and may all your dreams come true and wishing you a world of happiness 😊 .
I wish we could get an update on this sweet woman. I want so badly to hear that her story is a much happier one now. She is so brave and strong! ❤
One word: conscienceless. Know the traits. Same traits. Same stories from victims. "Everyone thinks he is great." Traits: blames everyone but themselves, lies, charming to others, etc. Learn the traits. Save your life.
Those are the traits of a narcissist or sociopath.
When she said it was her sons wedding the next day and she didn’t know what to do… boy does that hit home.. I’m getting married soon and the emotional, verbal and physical abuse I’ve experienced from my family really has me wondering what to do.. I’m getting married to the best blessing in my life who’s been there through the thick and thin for me.. and I completely understand when she said “I want free”.. from the abuse
I wish you the very best in healing and health. Sometimes family is the furthest from being real family and a safe haven. It just takes 1 demented bear to wreck havoc on everyone's peace and joy for decades and decades. Thank God you're blessed with someone with whom you can break the cycle and reach your own healing for your children.
@@shembeliever6095 thank you ♥️
Another thing to know about leaving an abuser- it’s the most dangerous time when you leave. Please do not ever go back for anything. Clothes, furniture, nothing. Sometimes women return to get stuff and they end up dead. This finger breaking guy is obviously dangerous. Please get everything together that you can’t live without- like pictures, birth certificates, clothes, etc. and when you leave- leave only once knowing you will never be back. Everything else can be replaced but you cannot. God Bless you❤️
@nancinew8288 - In other words, act like there's a huge fire coming and you get out everything you need and flee. Best to orepare some things in advance.
Ann you are such a force to be reckoned with!!! It may have taken you 30 years but the strength you’ve gathered is astronomical. I’m obsessed with you!! God bless and protect you as you do this God’s way.
I have seen the women in my family stay in horrible marriages and it makes me feel like I never want to get married. I would rather be alone and have my peace. I don't need that bull$&it😞. And on another note, most parents don't want to burden their children. We have begged my mom to come stay with us to get away from her husband. 😩😩
Ann, you are worthy of a life without abuse!!!! Enough already! Do yourself a favor and don't take anymore abuse from your husband. Just make sure you do it safely. Sounds like he just wants a punching bag and someone to cook and clean for him. That is not a marriage.
Where are her kids. My dad breaks my moms fingers and I’m needing bail $. No I’m not joking, this is gross that this woman has been walking this travesty.
She said her two sons make excuses for their dad. Her daughter is the only child to question why she hasn't left yet.
Absolutely ..what's with the sons, they didn't react like anyone decent would expect them to ....a few mild threats thrown his way would have at least showed they care for their Mom
It’s nuts bc I get upset at my mom for not getting me and my sisters out of the house from my dad. I am eternally grateful for my mom keeping the family intact but I am messed up. I can’t tell what’s “love” vs abuse. My mom says she doesn’t leave bc she loves him. I really believe that. Now I’m an adult woman, have a man giving me everything I want (a ring, a house, his commitment, desire to have a family w/ me). And I am terrified. I ran far away. I sabotage and find every small reason I can to avoid getting “stuck” like she did. Healing this pain is incredibly hard. The fear is overwhelming to the point I only want to focus on my job. I can’t have a family and fail at it. Would hurt too much.
She seems like such a sweet woman. I feel so bad for her. Her husband sounds like a narcissist. She needs to escape and leave without telling him. There’s no talking to him and explaining herself.
I hope all the best for her and I’ll be praying for her inshallah. 🤲🏽
I feel so much for this strong woman. I grew up watching my father abuse my mother physically. I also ask her why she didn’t leave sooner. The saddest part is every time she finally got out, my 2 older siblings would cut her out of their lives for leaving their dad. She would come back to keep her kids and grandchildren in her life. She’ll be 58 this year and she does now have a relationship with my brother but sadly she never had the relationship she wanted with my sister who passed away in October. He’s such a POS, he tried to use my sister’s death to reel her in once more. I’ve cut him out of my life do to the abuse he put me through growing up and my life has only gotten better, my mental state is improving and I feel free from him, finally
its now your turn to help your mom get out. her life depends on it.
Ann, I was in your shoes for six years, and fortunately was able to get out. I worried about everybody but myself and thought it was my responsibility to slink around behind him and fix everything. He even took me to a church so they could teach me to be a better, more submissive wife and at one point is was institutionalized due to "anxiety disorder". Please, Ann, you can do better.
And BTW, I fear for the wives of her sons.
Yes! Those sons should not be allowed to date or have sex with any woman without a thorough mental health screening and criminal background screening. I pray they don't ever have kids. Intergenerational Trauma and Abuse just gets passed on with each generation.
26 years and I finally left at 48. I had the locks changed and had him served with a DVTRO and divorce papers. It was VERY difficult because he is charming… no one knew. When I left I felt AMAZING-FREE!! I remarried 5 years later… 29 years to a wonderful, loving supportive (younger) man. NEVER stay… you risk your life. Get a good therapist who understands abuse and knows how to help you readjust your barometer. You have more life to live- NOW is the time! Don’t live with your kids-get your OWN place and figure out who you are… all the best.❤
I wish I was her neighbor and give her a hug every single day. 🥺
My cousin is in jail because his wife tried to leave him after he abused her for years.
When she tried to leave, he took a kitchen knife and stabbed her in the throat in front on their 4 year old son.
Dont judge women who "choose" to stay with abusers.
These violent aholes dont like to loose and will retaliate when their victims try to leave. Often they stalk and menace them after they leave and threaten the children.
These women are just trying to survive.
@Melinda-sz4lhgod people like you are a menace. You don’t understand the mindset of someone who has been persistently belittled and broken for years, to the point that their self efficacy has been chipped back to nothing.
Just don’t saying anything if it’s not constructive. These situations are dangerous and nuanced. In abusive relationships, the most dangerous time is when a victim leaves or gets pregnant. That’s when the abuse escalated - like clockwork. Some of these abusers are sophisticated and watchful. Maybe he caught her with a packed bag, or moving money so she could get out.
You just don’t know - so zip your lip.
So... What you're saying is she got stabbed in the throat because she didn't do it the right way? I'm sorry, I don't believe everyone has the resources or opportunity to leave in a safe way and I don't think that makes it their fault.
@Melinda-sz4lh
I'm in shock that you don't realize how egregious your comment is!
Are you well? What a stupid comment! Do you know how many women leave the "right way" and have ended up dead? Do you? You're comment is absolutely nuts.
@Melinda-sz4lhWow! Such an uncompassionate, cruel and heartless comment!!! Your heart must be made of ICE!!!!
This call made me cry. I often question myself for staying with my abusive ex for more than a decade. It's so sad...what they are behind closed doors differs so much to they really are that you feel like you are losing your mind.
Omg... I pray this caller gets out of this situation quickly and safely. I'm so sorry she and her children had to live like this for so long. Sadly, by listening to whatever dr. said it's better for the kids to grow up with a father, she allowed her kids to grow up with a monster. I really pray that her sons do not carry on in their dad's ways toward their families.🤦🏽♀️
Please know that Dr. James Dobson would NEVER tell a woman to stay with an abusive husband. Attending the same church as the Dobsons, I've heard him speak on the subject, and you can feel comfortable knowing that he would not want you to stay in this marriage.
I don't think he says it either. However, as she talked about it's other things he says without making a caveat that creates issues. Personally, I experienced this too and had to get past some of his words to stop tolerating mistreatment. Maybe it's unfortunate he doesn't speak on the subject and clear up confusion.
I felt his book “Love Must Ve Tough” explicitly expressed that abuse should NOT be tolerated.
If they followed God, they would be focused on exposing sin and repentance, not reconciliation, in marriage, like Jesus does. Not too much content like this from him even though it affects over 25% of marriages. They make it obscure and confusing for a reason, because they idolize marriage. Abuse should be specifically lined out and very clearly articulated to where there is absolutely zero question as to what their stance is on it. Just my two cents.
Dr Dobsen would tell her to get out, get safe, draw your support around you
Lord, I just wanna give her a big hug. Good job letting this big secret out. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
This poor lady, she just sounds so lovely. Breaks your heart.
I loved her! This monster doesn’t deserve her. Hopefully she gives us an update if not already
This call was an emotional roller coaster😢. Lady, you been through so much. Im so excited for you and being courageous enough to leave bone breaker behind.
I grew up listening to Dr Dobson….yes, he would say don’t get divorced in most circumstances BUT he would never say to stay in an abusive or adulterous marriage!!
Yes, he did say it.
Yes, makes me so angry when people say “what about your marriage vows?” Also the “abusers can change”. Both are true but what about safety, and the children’s futures, your mental well being, happiness, etc. etc. etc. Often women who are abused, are blamed for the abusers lack of self control.
They don't change
Missed the FUNERAL 🤣. IT WAS A WEDDING
Maybe his funeral ;)
He missed it
It was a Freudian slip, because tlets be honest weddings are essentially funerals for the person you once were and now the government is dictating how you proceed or dissolve your relationship
He made a mistake, calm down buddy
He wanted to kill the husband. He was thinking ahead 😂
Bless her. My mom went through this for 30+ years as well. I hope she finds peace.
Dr. Delony. Please ask Dr. Laura Schlessinger to come on your show. She wrote several books inclucing: 10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives. She said there are 3 things that she believed justified divorce: Abuse, adultery, addiction.
The OG pick-me
There are certainly more than 3 things to justify a divorce.
I hear you, everyone thinks my husband is nice, he’s nice to OTHERS
This just broke my heart …..🥲 I pray she finds the strength to leave …🙏🏻🦋
May God bless and heal this woman's emotional pain.
Spot on John! You were incredible on this episode!! Anne, 'Called To Peace'...ministry, no cost, support groups, information, was incredible resource for me when I was in your same shoes. There is freedom and healing!!
I know this was 7 months ago but please be careful ANN! Don't tell him you're leaving until you're in a safe place! A lady from my town was just murdered by her abusive husband before he shot himself. Please please be careful and get legal advice and counseling advice on how to proceed with leaving. Don't be alone with him afterwards always have one or two people with you if you have to go to the house to collect your things. He's hurt you once he's not going to hesitate to hurt you if you try and leave. Please get away from this man but please be strategic and careful! You're sweet and caring and I hope you find the freedom you're looking for. God bless you!
If you ask, the police will provide a law enforcement officer to accompany you while you get your personal belongings.
God bless this woman- this is why women have to be financially independent or have the skill sets to be financially independent. Even in the best marriages, spouses can die or get sick . I am so so sad for Ann, praying everything works out for her.
I left a toxic relationship.
It was my first marriage, early twenties, and left with nothing but my clothes and daughter. No family and in a foreign country. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do.
Years have passed and I am so happy I left. I respect this lady who is so much more older than what I was yet still is determined to do the right thing! I know so many younger women than her in her situation that refuse to walk away even if they are miserable. Yet this lady is determined!
I hope this lady lives the happiest life ever once she walks away! She deserves it all❤
Yeah, he knew you wouldn't leave just before the wedding so he thought he could do what he wanted. It's like abusers who behave even worse on a trip because you're trapped there. It's true we were told kids need a father but if you stay, you teach them that families are all about abuse.
Just a reminder that the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the abused finally leaves. Be smart, be safe. You deserve more.
Very true my ex showed up where i was staying when i left after 40 yrs , unannounced , he knew i was alone , drunk with a loaded 9 mm i was so low i just told him i am not going back if you want to kill me just do i don’t care either way i will not be going home. He left thankfully but he also left a shell casing on the kitchen counter for what i don’t know as a scare tactic a reminder i don’t know. But i am finally free of his lies cheating emotional and physical abuse. Life is a struggle but i will survive.
The nicest people can be abusers, Rapist, Murder and so on. Don’t let any one diminishes your experience.
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Dr. Delone excels in these abusive situation calls. I hope she blossoms into the woman she was meant to be.