Yes mine did this when I asked my husband to please 🥺 tell her to start calling before she drops by. We needed boundaries. So one day she calls me and apologize for bothering me when I was busy. Then I said yes I've been meaning to talk to you about this and she made me think that my husband already talked to her about it. Then I said me and my husband talked about it and we think you should start calling before y'all get ready to come by. Then she said oh so I have to call before I even come to your house. I said yes we would like that. She said well he never told me this. Then I said well he told me he's told you several times already. Then she thought I hung up the phone. And told her husband Shannon says we got to start calling before we just drop by I ain't coming back to their house. I went over the next day and she looked like she could just kill me or go through me. She started confrontation with my husband immediately! Then said I will never come back to y'all's house she would not speak to me whatsoever just would give me go to hell looks the whole time all because I set boundaries
My mil used to behave as though my kids belonged to her . She was trying to steal my role as mother to my own kids! She used to behave as though my spouse was her spouse... the decisions that him and i were suppose to make together, were increasingly being made by him and HER! Our boundaries we tried to put in place were never respected. She was extremely disrespectful, played dumb/innocent when it suited her. Tried to sabotage our family and each of our relationship. Assasinated my character in my back and blamed me for things I wasn't even aware of! She has a charming way of being nice to your face while carrying out the abuse. It took time to figure it out. Treated me invisible and began to encourage my kids and husband to do the same. These types are truly SICK!
Her smirk was always present! From my observations it's basically impression management, part of her charm that makes people think she's a nice and approachable person. Then, When she smirked upon meeting us, it was because of her insidious intentions she intended to carry out, then during time spent with us, the smirk was due to the sadistic pleasure she gained while observing the result of her abuse and after, when she's leaving, it's because she relives it in her mind like a resume from a to z . Some type of neurological pleasure of power and control she psychologically lives in, until her next visit.
My ex narcs mum was the most evil woman I have ever come across Set me up intentionally. Used my past provoked me and when I defended myself and yes in the end I took the bait reacted in the way she was waiting for and BOOM I GOT ARRESTED FOR THREATS TO KILL I was set up .., and found out the police who was in charge with the case was a family friend !!! And to think I took so much abuse from him and he’s family and I sat there. Took the abuse I have never in my life been through so much And thee trauma it has caused me Is unreal I pray for everyone who is dealing with a narc GET OUT ASSP BEFORE THEY COMPLETELY DESTROY YOUR LIFE … ❤️🙏🏻🇬🇧
Yes, my MIL has done that stare many times when I have said things she doesn't like or seem to understand. It has really creeped me out and I only now realize this is something to do with them being covert narcs. I now see how she has been playing me for twenty two years to have control by charming and duping me.
@@stayawayfromnarcs1409 Thank you.I'm still going through the cognitive dissonance. Unfortunately I have been through it before coming to terms with my own mother who falls into Cluster B'ish disorders. Still trying to kill the hope that at least my husband isn't too completely brainwashed by his narc mother and family but I know that is foolish of me at this point. I at least am trying to hope he isn't so he can at least get help to be a decent father to our 13 year old son (daughter is 18). My kids are why I stayed this long. I have always known it is important for a boy to have a father in his life but my husband and all his issues I now see go back to his mother enmeshment and the emotional incest. All my sacrifice trying to stay in the marriage for my son's sake and now he is even telling me things that upset him about his father.
My MIL seems to be more of the vulnerable type. How I wish she discarded me! Her reaction to my cutting ties was to deny, lie, turn it around on me, try to smear me to my family, play the poor incredulous victim. Her campaign to prove that she was a victim is worthy of an award lol. Things have been quiet for a few months so hopefully she's found another victim. Blessings to you, you have had it much worse than me. 😍
My boyfriends mother would make snarky comments about me or against me in front of people and if i was upset or someone didnt agree with her then she would say its a joke and say you cant take a joke? She also would give me the death stare when me and my boyfriend left in different cars. She would wave and be happy with him and me while hes looking and as soon as i drove it away i was always behind him to follow him, she woukd cross her arms and stare at me like she wanted me dead. She is ao awful. She recently tried to break uo me and my boyfriend again, and 5 finally onto her and getting therapy. Thats the only reason me and him are still together. she found out i got him medicine for his bipolar and into therapy for it. She has been telling him i want my name on the deed to his house and only want him for money but i pay the majority of the bills and i make more than him and her put together!! What she doesnt know if he tried to put my name on his deed 4xs and i said no. What she said to him this time i wont even repeat bc its so awful. I will say it involves like insurance so i think you can figure it out. Shes been trying gor 4yrs to have him get rid of me and i just found that our as well. She has told his family something that makes them not want me atound at all anymore but i dont know what it is. What i do know is im not allowed at family functions anymore and they all used to love me until she did it. My boyfriend is the golden child and his sister his mother hates and dogs all the time as well. His sister was kind enough to tell him what she was doing and why im not allowed at the functions anymore. There is sooooo much more this woman has done. She treats my boyfriend like hes her husband and its really sick and gross. To the point yhat she tries her best to get him to stay the night with her and then proceeds to tell him he can just sleep in her bed with her so he can be more confortable. Thank god he doesnt do it but he will call me to come get him if his mom picked him up for dinner and then refuses to drive him home trying to get him to stay the night. I am always met with the death stare for that one too. Idk what else to do other than to never soeak to her again. If i put in the situation to ever be around her again i want to tell her off by telling her all the lies i know she is saying and call her out on what she is doing but i know she wont listen. At the least i can hurt her feelings and make her mad like she does me. My boyfriend has told her that she isnt allowed at our home and they are going to have a very distant relationship but im afraid shes going to get into his head and manipulate him again. She is very good at what she does. She always plays the victim and makes him feel sorry for her. She actually has the nerve to say what she said to me is what i told her and im lying!! I literally cant stand this women and sge is always negative and talks about everyone. She has literally said everyone at her work is trash and shes so much better. She says rhey are fat and tower over her and her words are heres little oh me they could squash me. She claims shes being stalked to get her son upset and make him stay around her more to protect her. She is pathetic and i wish she would find a new person to mess with. Its like a hobby to her. She loves the drama she loves to create a scene and shes even gone kn every date but the 1st one the 1st 2 yrs we were together and said shes rhe 3rd wheel making him feel bad for her. She wouldnt let.me sit by him. She would try to feed him from her plate and woukd beg him to give her a bite of hisnfood but only if he feeds it to her. She is disgusting and gross and has a weird obssession with her son.
I removed the MIL and her best friend on IG and her friend just asked to follow again because we just got back from a trip. I’m only thinking she’s trying to gain access to show MIL the photos I posted while we were gone. Feeling the awkwardness and guilt now but I know they just to lurk so they can reaffirm their assumptions and stories they tell each other. I feel like they’re literally looking for ammunition in a way.
Yup you’re 100% spot on. Your MIL will try to use the friend to gain access to know what your life looks like now. Good thinking not give them access. Give yourself the peace you need.
I’ve been struggling with this badly for 13 years. Luckily my husband cannot stand his own mother most of the time, but she still finds a way to guilt and manipulate and suck him dry because she knows she can, and she gets off on feeding him bs to put a wedge between us. It was manageable up until this year when we had our daughter. I will not allow her to control or have her way to do whatever she wants whenever she wants with my daughter, and refuse to leave her alone with her. And now because if this her and her daughter (my SIL) make my life a living hell. And you know when you’ve dealt with this that’s no exaggeration. She wants me gone and out of the picture so badly
I can relate so much with you. My case is exactly like that. I just want to say to you prepare, it’s going to be vicious. My daughter is. Now almost 17, and it’s better but it’s not over. Eventually this year we moved to a different city and they are putting a huge weight on my husband like he is a horrible person because he moved and left his parents behind. The level of evil and manipulation in not normal. My husband has a sister that is also as mean as her mother as as always made all air lives a living hell like mu mil. My greatest luck is that my husband can’t stand them, and always defends us, if he wasn’t like that I would have had to run and hide when my daughter was a baby. She stole everything from me, even breastfeeding she has to come with visitors that I didn’t know inside our room. She and my sil spread a huge lie about me and a cousins husband that ended with that other couple divorcing, they expected us to divorce also but we love each other to much for that. They have also made some comenta about e me dying and 2 times my mil put her hands around my neck and sneezed a bit. She’s the devil in person and my sil also. Please protect yourself and don’t fight with your husband. That was my biggest mistake, still today I struggle with that. But it’s not his fault and if he is on your side help him . And prepare because the more united the see you 2 the more they attack, and the more evil they get. They simply can’t stand that you are loved, more beautiful, more inteligente, richer, you name it. That are just jealous, envious, mean and sadistic creatures. God bless you and your family, and take care of you relationship with your baby since the beginning. They still só this day try to turn my daughter again sand away from me. The worst is that my daughter suffered so much growing up and she didn’t need to go through all that as a child. Now she is an adolescent and is dealing with anxiety. She’s very smart and a good girl, but she been through so much as a young child that I can’t even try to describe the amount of guilt that I feel for not protecting us more and letting them get into my nerves so much. It took me many years just to realize what was happening and that it was on purpose not just random conflict that arises naturally. I just couldn’t believe that someone could be so mean to their own son and granddaughter. They don’t love anyone, that can’t feel love. That just want to have a back up plan. When the husband leaves or dies she wants her son to be the man in her life and do everything for her, so her son having a family is a problem because he needs to focus on his family and she thinks that is wrong. Sometimes I just pray that they would just leave, go to another country or something like that. God bless you and take care.❤
@@anaveiga857 thank you so incredibly much for your honest and heartfelt comment ♥️ wow I didn’t realize how long ago it was that I wrote this, and reading it again made me so incredibly sad because I was in such a deep and dark place at the time, and was about to endure things I couldn’t even comprehend happening in my lifetime. When I wrote this, my best friend of 15 years, who was like a sister to me, had just been brutally murdered with her boyfriend (we lived on the same street within walking distance) and was buried literally at the cemetery in between our houses, and a few weeks after I had wrote this comment, my little brother died in a tragic freak accident. They took advantage of me at my weakest point in life and used that time to spread a complete smear campaign against me, turn other family members and friends against me, and spread a bunch of straight up vile lies about me because they were so furious that I had set firm boundaries with my daughter. I have never felt more depressed and alone in my entire life, it put such a massive wedge between my husband and I because he would not stand up for me unless I hounded him about it because I was just pleading for somebody to protect me and keep me going during that time. It caused so many massive fights, made me look like I was causing the drama and being dramatic and unfair to his family, etc. To say it was horrific is an understatement, I was in such disbelief and complete heartbreak that they could do that to me during that time. Our families have known each other since we were in elementary school, they knew my brother and family very well (he, my sister, and my SIL were the same age and graduated together, my bro and sis are twins). I had never felt such betrayal before from all angles. Any time I was around them it would make me physically sick, and it was constantly like walking into a room where people were just talking about you. It felt like/still feels like I have a target on my back for people like this. It’s like whatever is inside of us, whatever light, they see it and want it so badly that they DESPISE you for it and want to destroy you bc of it. I went through a massive spiritual journey and isolated myself for probably over a year and did so much self reflection on my life and did so much work on myself and thank god my husband and I did major work on our relationship and things are completely different now. I came to a point of a line in the sand that I said that’s it, no more, and was able to completely cut them off from sucking my energy and allowing them to affect my mental state like they were, and once I did it was like a ton lifting off my chest. I’m unfortunately not NC, but when I do see them I keep everything extremely surface level, I never tell them anything about what’s going on in my life, and I don’t even respond to my MIL when she texts me anymore, I just make my husband deal with it. Thank god also that his other siblings had children of their own, so the shiny new attraction to our daughter quickly wore off and she makes it a point to go above and beyond for his siblings bc they have no boundaries with her. She lives 5 min from us and never bothers to make any effort to have anything to do with us unless it’s in public for show or benefiting her somehow, but will drive over 30 min every week to babysit his brother’s kid and SIL’s daughter. It truly breaks my heart for my husband, because I can see the internal conflict he has in real time with each situation; he cannot stand her but also feels required to have our kids have a relationship with her and wants to be able to say his parents are involved grandparents. He’s done a lot of inner work too and has gained the ability to be empathetic towards me and recognize the hurt he caused me over the last few years and now has my back 10000%. Of course we have our days, but I choose to no longer allow it to affect me and let them get to me. I have zero issue telling her no, and we don’t care about the tantrum she’ll throw anymore. I will never be able to look at those people the same again after how they treated me when I was literally broken, and will never forget when my SIL told me to “get the fuck over it” about me crying saying I don’t have the strength to plot against her, daily I have to replay watching my brother die on life support and she has no idea what that’s like, and she said “you’re not the only one grieving in the world”. They’re VILE people. Thank you so much for your kind words and advice ❤️🩹 I already feel immense guilt for not being mentally present for two years of my daughter’s life that I’ll never get back, and allowing them to affect me so badly. She deserved a better mom 😔 but I make sure to make up for that every single day now moving forward. Virtual hugs to you ♥️ I’m so glad your husband has your back as well. It’s devastating the way in laws just completely destroy their children’s relationships out of pure hatred and jealousy because they can’t stand themselves so much inside, they have to also make everyone else miserable too.
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Yes mine did this when I asked my husband to please 🥺 tell her to start calling before she drops by. We needed boundaries. So one day she calls me and apologize for bothering me when I was busy. Then I said yes I've been meaning to talk to you about this and she made me think that my husband already talked to her about it. Then I said me and my husband talked about it and we think you should start calling before y'all get ready to come by. Then she said oh so I have to call before I even come to your house. I said yes we would like that. She said well he never told me this. Then I said well he told me he's told you several times already. Then she thought I hung up the phone. And told her husband Shannon says we got to start calling before we just drop by I ain't coming back to their house. I went over the next day and she looked like she could just kill me or go through me. She started confrontation with my husband immediately! Then said I will never come back to y'all's house she would not speak to me whatsoever just would give me go to hell looks the whole time all because I set boundaries
My mil used to behave as though my kids belonged to her . She was trying to steal my role as mother to my own kids! She used to behave as though my spouse was her spouse... the decisions that him and i were suppose to make together, were increasingly being made by him and HER! Our boundaries we tried to put in place were never respected. She was extremely disrespectful, played dumb/innocent when it suited her. Tried to sabotage our family and each of our relationship. Assasinated my character in my back and blamed me for things I wasn't even aware of! She has a charming way of being nice to your face while carrying out the abuse. It took time to figure it out. Treated me invisible and began to encourage my kids and husband to do the same. These types are truly SICK!
My MIL tried calling my children "our kids" when they were little and I corrected her immediately.
Yes you are correct. For a moment I thought my Narcissistic Mother in law has not soul. She looks like she has nothing inside of her, kind of devil...
Yes I agree
Her smirk was always present! From my observations it's basically impression management, part of her charm that makes people think she's a nice and approachable person. Then, When she smirked upon meeting us, it was because of her insidious intentions she intended to carry out, then during time spent with us, the smirk was due to the sadistic pleasure she gained while observing the result of her abuse and after, when she's leaving, it's because she relives it in her mind like a resume from a to z . Some type of neurological pleasure of power and control she psychologically lives in, until her next visit.
My ex narcs mum was the most evil woman I have ever come across
Set me up intentionally. Used my past provoked me and when I defended myself and yes in the end I took the bait reacted in the way she was waiting for and BOOM I GOT ARRESTED FOR THREATS TO KILL
I was set up .., and found out the police who was in charge with the case was a family friend !!! And to think I took so much abuse from him and he’s family and I sat there. Took the abuse
I have never in my life been through so much And thee trauma it has caused me
Is unreal
I pray for everyone who is dealing with a narc GET OUT ASSP BEFORE THEY COMPLETELY DESTROY YOUR LIFE …
❤️🙏🏻🇬🇧
Thank you for sharing ♥️I Am so sorry you went through that
Yes, my MIL has done that stare many times when I have said things she doesn't like or seem to understand. It has really creeped me out and I only now realize this is something to do with them being covert narcs. I now see how she has been playing me for twenty two years to have control by charming and duping me.
The star is very cruel and creepy. Glad you are finding out 🙏🙏
@@stayawayfromnarcs1409 Thank you.I'm still going through the cognitive dissonance. Unfortunately I have been through it before coming to terms with my own mother who falls into Cluster B'ish disorders. Still trying to kill the hope that at least my husband isn't too completely brainwashed by his narc mother and family but I know that is foolish of me at this point. I at least am trying to hope he isn't so he can at least get help to be a decent father to our 13 year old son (daughter is 18). My kids are why I stayed this long. I have always known it is important for a boy to have a father in his life but my husband and all his issues I now see go back to his mother enmeshment and the emotional incest. All my sacrifice trying to stay in the marriage for my son's sake and now he is even telling me things that upset him about his father.
My MIL seems to be more of the vulnerable type. How I wish she discarded me! Her reaction to my cutting ties was to deny, lie, turn it around on me, try to smear me to my family, play the poor incredulous victim. Her campaign to prove that she was a victim is worthy of an award lol. Things have been quiet for a few months so hopefully she's found another victim. Blessings to you, you have had it much worse than me. 😍
Blessings to you 🙏 yes, they stop at nothing unfortunately. I am glad you are out. 🙌🙌
You're awesome....
thank you. you're awesome as well!!
My boyfriends mother would make snarky comments about me or against me in front of people and if i was upset or someone didnt agree with her then she would say its a joke and say you cant take a joke? She also would give me the death stare when me and my boyfriend left in different cars. She would wave and be happy with him and me while hes looking and as soon as i drove it away i was always behind him to follow him, she woukd cross her arms and stare at me like she wanted me dead. She is ao awful. She recently tried to break uo me and my boyfriend again, and 5 finally onto her and getting therapy. Thats the only reason me and him are still together. she found out i got him medicine for his bipolar and into therapy for it. She has been telling him i want my name on the deed to his house and only want him for money but i pay the majority of the bills and i make more than him and her put together!! What she doesnt know if he tried to put my name on his deed 4xs and i said no. What she said to him this time i wont even repeat bc its so awful. I will say it involves like insurance so i think you can figure it out. Shes been trying gor 4yrs to have him get rid of me and i just found that our as well. She has told his family something that makes them not want me atound at all anymore but i dont know what it is. What i do know is im not allowed at family functions anymore and they all used to love me until she did it. My boyfriend is the golden child and his sister his mother hates and dogs all the time as well. His sister was kind enough to tell him what she was doing and why im not allowed at the functions anymore. There is sooooo much more this woman has done. She treats my boyfriend like hes her husband and its really sick and gross. To the point yhat she tries her best to get him to stay the night with her and then proceeds to tell him he can just sleep in her bed with her so he can be more confortable. Thank god he doesnt do it but he will call me to come get him if his mom picked him up for dinner and then refuses to drive him home trying to get him to stay the night. I am always met with the death stare for that one too. Idk what else to do other than to never soeak to her again. If i put in the situation to ever be around her again i want to tell her off by telling her all the lies i know she is saying and call her out on what she is doing but i know she wont listen. At the least i can hurt her feelings and make her mad like she does me. My boyfriend has told her that she isnt allowed at our home and they are going to have a very distant relationship but im afraid shes going to get into his head and manipulate him again. She is very good at what she does. She always plays the victim and makes him feel sorry for her. She actually has the nerve to say what she said to me is what i told her and im lying!! I literally cant stand this women and sge is always negative and talks about everyone. She has literally said everyone at her work is trash and shes so much better. She says rhey are fat and tower over her and her words are heres little oh me they could squash me. She claims shes being stalked to get her son upset and make him stay around her more to protect her. She is pathetic and i wish she would find a new person to mess with. Its like a hobby to her. She loves the drama she loves to create a scene and shes even gone kn every date but the 1st one the 1st 2 yrs we were together and said shes rhe 3rd wheel making him feel bad for her. She wouldnt let.me sit by him. She would try to feed him from her plate and woukd beg him to give her a bite of hisnfood but only if he feeds it to her. She is disgusting and gross and has a weird obssession with her son.
I removed the MIL and her best friend on IG and her friend just asked to follow again because we just got back from a trip. I’m only thinking she’s trying to gain access to show MIL the photos I posted while we were gone. Feeling the awkwardness and guilt now but I know they just to lurk so they can reaffirm their assumptions and stories they tell each other. I feel like they’re literally looking for ammunition in a way.
Yup you’re 100% spot on. Your MIL will try to use the friend to gain access to know what your life looks like now. Good thinking not give them access. Give yourself the peace you need.
Be my therapist ❤️
Thank you. I would love to when I get my degree ❤️
I’ve been struggling with this badly for 13 years. Luckily my husband cannot stand his own mother most of the time, but she still finds a way to guilt and manipulate and suck him dry because she knows she can, and she gets off on feeding him bs to put a wedge between us. It was manageable up until this year when we had our daughter. I will not allow her to control or have her way to do whatever she wants whenever she wants with my daughter, and refuse to leave her alone with her. And now because if this her and her daughter (my SIL) make my life a living hell. And you know when you’ve dealt with this that’s no exaggeration. She wants me gone and out of the picture so badly
I can relate so much with you. My case is exactly like that. I just want to say to you prepare, it’s going to be vicious. My daughter is. Now almost 17, and it’s better but it’s not over. Eventually this year we moved to a different city and they are putting a huge weight on my husband like he is a horrible person because he moved and left his parents behind. The level of evil and manipulation in not normal. My husband has a sister that is also as mean as her mother as as always made all air lives a living hell like mu mil. My greatest luck is that my husband can’t stand them, and always defends us, if he wasn’t like that I would have had to run and hide when my daughter was a baby. She stole everything from me, even breastfeeding she has to come with visitors that I didn’t know inside our room. She and my sil spread a huge lie about me and a cousins husband that ended with that other couple divorcing, they expected us to divorce also but we love each other to much for that. They have also made some comenta about e me dying and 2 times my mil put her hands around my neck and sneezed a bit. She’s the devil in person and my sil also. Please protect yourself and don’t fight with your husband. That was my biggest mistake, still today I struggle with that. But it’s not his fault and if he is on your side help him . And prepare because the more united the see you 2 the more they attack, and the more evil they get. They simply can’t stand that you are loved, more beautiful, more inteligente, richer, you name it. That are just jealous, envious, mean and sadistic creatures. God bless you and your family, and take care of you relationship with your baby since the beginning. They still só this day try to turn my daughter again sand away from me. The worst is that my daughter suffered so much growing up and she didn’t need to go through all that as a child. Now she is an adolescent and is dealing with anxiety. She’s very smart and a good girl, but she been through so much as a young child that I can’t even try to describe the amount of guilt that I feel for not protecting us more and letting them get into my nerves so much. It took me many years just to realize what was happening and that it was on purpose not just random conflict that arises naturally. I just couldn’t believe that someone could be so mean to their own son and granddaughter. They don’t love anyone, that can’t feel love. That just want to have a back up plan. When the husband leaves or dies she wants her son to be the man in her life and do everything for her, so her son having a family is a problem because he needs to focus on his family and she thinks that is wrong. Sometimes I just pray that they would just leave, go to another country or something like that. God bless you and take care.❤
@@anaveiga857 thank you so incredibly much for your honest and heartfelt comment ♥️ wow I didn’t realize how long ago it was that I wrote this, and reading it again made me so incredibly sad because I was in such a deep and dark place at the time, and was about to endure things I couldn’t even comprehend happening in my lifetime. When I wrote this, my best friend of 15 years, who was like a sister to me, had just been brutally murdered with her boyfriend (we lived on the same street within walking distance) and was buried literally at the cemetery in between our houses, and a few weeks after I had wrote this comment, my little brother died in a tragic freak accident. They took advantage of me at my weakest point in life and used that time to spread a complete smear campaign against me, turn other family members and friends against me, and spread a bunch of straight up vile lies about me because they were so furious that I had set firm boundaries with my daughter. I have never felt more depressed and alone in my entire life, it put such a massive wedge between my husband and I because he would not stand up for me unless I hounded him about it because I was just pleading for somebody to protect me and keep me going during that time. It caused so many massive fights, made me look like I was causing the drama and being dramatic and unfair to his family, etc. To say it was horrific is an understatement, I was in such disbelief and complete heartbreak that they could do that to me during that time. Our families have known each other since we were in elementary school, they knew my brother and family very well (he, my sister, and my SIL were the same age and graduated together, my bro and sis are twins). I had never felt such betrayal before from all angles. Any time I was around them it would make me physically sick, and it was constantly like walking into a room where people were just talking about you. It felt like/still feels like I have a target on my back for people like this. It’s like whatever is inside of us, whatever light, they see it and want it so badly that they DESPISE you for it and want to destroy you bc of it. I went through a massive spiritual journey and isolated myself for probably over a year and did so much self reflection on my life and did so much work on myself and thank god my husband and I did major work on our relationship and things are completely different now. I came to a point of a line in the sand that I said that’s it, no more, and was able to completely cut them off from sucking my energy and allowing them to affect my mental state like they were, and once I did it was like a ton lifting off my chest. I’m unfortunately not NC, but when I do see them I keep everything extremely surface level, I never tell them anything about what’s going on in my life, and I don’t even respond to my MIL when she texts me anymore, I just make my husband deal with it. Thank god also that his other siblings had children of their own, so the shiny new attraction to our daughter quickly wore off and she makes it a point to go above and beyond for his siblings bc they have no boundaries with her. She lives 5 min from us and never bothers to make any effort to have anything to do with us unless it’s in public for show or benefiting her somehow, but will drive over 30 min every week to babysit his brother’s kid and SIL’s daughter.
It truly breaks my heart for my husband, because I can see the internal conflict he has in real time with each situation; he cannot stand her but also feels required to have our kids have a relationship with her and wants to be able to say his parents are involved grandparents. He’s done a lot of inner work too and has gained the ability to be empathetic towards me and recognize the hurt he caused me over the last few years and now has my back 10000%. Of course we have our days, but I choose to no longer allow it to affect me and let them get to me. I have zero issue telling her no, and we don’t care about the tantrum she’ll throw anymore. I will never be able to look at those people the same again after how they treated me when I was literally broken, and will never forget when my SIL told me to “get the fuck over it” about me crying saying I don’t have the strength to plot against her, daily I have to replay watching my brother die on life support and she has no idea what that’s like, and she said “you’re not the only one grieving in the world”. They’re VILE people.
Thank you so much for your kind words and advice ❤️🩹 I already feel immense guilt for not being mentally present for two years of my daughter’s life that I’ll never get back, and allowing them to affect me so badly. She deserved a better mom 😔 but I make sure to make up for that every single day now moving forward. Virtual hugs to you ♥️ I’m so glad your husband has your back as well. It’s devastating the way in laws just completely destroy their children’s relationships out of pure hatred and jealousy because they can’t stand themselves so much inside, they have to also make everyone else miserable too.