3 Ways to Disarm a Narcissist and Keep Your Peace- Day 8
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ธ.ค. 2022
- Join me as we journey the 12 (toxic) days of Christmas
Day 1: How to Deal with a Manipulative Mother - Biblically
• How to Deal with a Man...
Day 2: How to Not Let Toxic Family Drain You
• How to Not Let Toxic F...
Day 3: 7 Gaslighting Phrases Manipulators Use to Control You.
• 7 Gaslighting Phrases ...
Day 4: When You Go 'No-Contact', Others May React This Way
• What to Expect After G...
Day 5: Overcoming Toxic Thoughts that Run in your Family
• Overcome Toxic Thought...
Day 6: Setting Boundaries with Toxic Family
• How to Set Boundaries ...
Day 7: 7 Signs of a Covert Narcissist
• 7 Signs God is Showing...
Day 8: 3 Ways to Disarm a Narcissist
• 3 Ways to Disarm a Nar...
Day 9: When Toxic Family Uses Special Occasions to Reconnect
• When the Narcissist Us...
Day 10: How a Covert Narcissist Controls You Through Disorientation
• How a Covert Narcissis...
Day 11: 6 Signs You Need to Break Away from Toxic Family
• 6 Signs You Need to Br...
Day 12: How a Narcissist Interprets Forgiveness
• How a Narcissist Inter...
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Powerful message!!!!!
How to disarm a narcissist and keep your peace.
1. Don't defend yourself. You are not responsible for their anger.
"I'm happy to talk it through with you but your anger is not my responsibility. We can continue when you're not angry."
2. Instead of trying to convince them you're a good person, say
"I wish you wouldn't say hurtful things, but I can't control how you feel about me."
3. Instead of jumping into a solution, defensive, or disagreement... Say.
"I hear what you're saying but.."
4. Instead of giving reasons why you don't want to do something,
"I'm sorry but I won't...." "I won't..."
5. Instead of arguing back trying to get them to respect you.... Say
"I don't like how you're speaking to me, so I'm gonna stop talking to you right now."
6. Instead of 'you never let me talk.' say...
"Your perspective is interesting. May I share my?"
7. Instead of, .. 'Don't talk to me that way' say...
"I prefer talking to mutually respectful conversations, would you like to join me in that."
Don't take the bait. Do not mirror their behavior. Continue to be that caring, loving, mirror of Jesus. That way, when they come at you, nothing triggers you.
Out of the mouth, the heart speaks.
God grant me the serenity to accept every person's right to choose who they will be, the courage to change myself into who God wants me to be, and the wisdom to see which one I am engaged in at this moment.
Thank you for teaching christians the difference between love and being doormats!
You are an absolute ANGEL.
I have been so hurt and betrayed.
All week I have cried and prayed and just now, I was at the end of my faith...and I stumbled upon your page. It's the only peace I have felt all week.
God absolutely led me to you.
Thank you!!❤️❤️❤️😭
I feel the same!!!
The same for me too. So glad i discovered Kris's videos ❤
I love that these are all free. You’re saving lives and sanity, Kris! Thank you very much. God bless you abundantly 🙏🏻💓
“You’re not going to change them.”
When you are the person always apologizing for everything you said and did from the initial onset, and they never have anything to apologize for because to them, they are perfect.
Thank you Kris, when I committed my life to Jesus i started changing, getting healthy physically and mentally when this happened my toxic family showed their colors and lash out at me. i was hoping they would follow me however they want to change me back to the way i was. they are still angry that this is happening. I am going to pray for them and let Jesus change them because he is the one who is changing me.
May God continue to strengthen you and bless you on your journey with Him.
Phillipines 4:13
Ready!
Blessings you on your endeavors, I know it's hard and I can't imagine because I was blessed with a wonderful family who didn't and don't do toxic things but I wanted to say be cautious in relying on. Hope, it can ehd up keeping you stuck unintentionally.
I am going through the same type of situation somewhat
Ouuuch..."if you don't have the love of Jesus in you...your not going to be able to pull it out if you"...
This clicked for me...why no matter how loving & understanding I am, it just can't ever be returned in this relationship
Thank you Kris for such wise biblical words! Your help is saving my relationship with Christ, which is the most important one💛
CLOWN 🤡 WORLD today and much worse. Thrilled to hear someone integrating Christ into everyday navigation of our lives. All praises to the most high in Jesus name. Amen.
Thank you Kris. None of us have to stand around and take abuse, then be blamed for walking away. Appreciate the words, “I won’t this time.”
This entire channel is an answer to prayer. I had independently concluded I couldnt change my adult daughter but i could seek to bring God glory and TRUST Him to protect me. I am responsible to be obedient to HIM!
I've repented of my parenting failures and now I must move on in faith.
Wow, I'm in a similar situation!!!
Me too
@@lindawakeland6302me too
These teachings are life savers, so empowering and really not hard. Be aware all the time!
What worked with me with a very violent malignant narcissist was to play dumb. You can not "win"in that toxic of a relationship. You remove yourself. By the grace of God I survived. And I made a choice with the Lord's help not to be bitter. He is faithful!
Violent?? And you didnt get a gun???
@@AmandathePandaBooksWhat sort of toxic behavior is this? Violence ensues and she ends up in jail with her life ruined? Sometimes it's better to run and escape to build a new life.
@@blahblahblah4544 exactly
Thank you for these guidelines 😊
Coddling a narcissist doesn’t work. Just emboldens them more. I know. I tried being nice for 25 years. It just made their egos bigger.
2 Tim 3:5 avoid them...
I tried 44 years.
@@monicahocking1507 Bless you. I ran out of patience at 30 years. Just couldn’t emotionally do it anymore.
@@DJH97 protect your heart and your sanity! God is a practical God! He doesnt want u to b injured or tormented.
It also make them think..we are stupid..so they harm us more..
The narcissist uses the exact same content, described here, to avoid conversations. Basically shutting down all interaction in the face of their discomfort. It is mind boggling. It begins with twitching, progressing towards words, then exasperation, then excuse after excuse after excuse. Blame shift, exaggeration, removal, then silence and silent rage.
I get the most important thing is knowing you are not responsible for their behaviors, and keeping your sanity, and not participating in their vortex.
💯
Sometimes one must speak out AT the evil !!!!
Yes
“Rest in your knowings not in your feelings.” ❤️❤️❤️
Amen ⚘️ pray & pray over yrself yr home b4 thy get home , sometimes thy catch us sleeping. Armour up Ephesians 6:11
This is something that’s helped me deal with difficult people. Practice JADE. Don’t justify, argue, defend or explain.
Putting up with my narcissistic family for 53 years...Going 'NO CONTACT' with EVERY SINGLE one of them, is the best thing I could've done to gain back my emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing, but also to grow and to become a stronger and wiser person where now, I will not tolerate being manipulated or controlled by anyone ever again! God bless you all and may God give us all the strength to endure and to stand firm in what we know is TRUTH, but also to realize who we really are on the inside - we truly are much stronger and much more than we think we are! All the best...pray for discernment and LISTEN to your intuition! God bless!
My husband passed away and left me raising our son who is now running me in the ground. His father taught him how to be very manipulative and controlling. He beats me down with twisting everything to meet his selfishness. I'm literally worn out after a short time of conversation with him. Narcissistic problems in a child are very difficult to deal with. God help me stop wanting to give up on him.
How old is he?
14
@@fortnitegod2236 have you tried getting him into therapy?, he is young, it is not too late.
Stand up to him until he can be removed from your life. Sell the house and disappear. Or….lose everything.
Save yourself ,, !!! Jesus said a prayer for them .. and left them go { free Will } don’t let him destroy you !
If I only knew this some 20 years ago.
Thank you for all what you do. Keep it up. God bless. 🇩🇪
I love the wisdom of God coming through your lips. You have been such a blessing to me. God bless you sister.
I love you, for communicating this from a Christian perspective. God bless you
I'm 1 minute 7 seconds in, and thank you. That's all I got right now, just thank you. And thank You God. It's amazing what God is doing with the torture we've all endured. He really do use it all for good. But I still appreciate the education and validation. Preach on sister soldier!
Hi again from South Africa. Thank you so much Kris. These are such a blessing. I have lived with an overt narcissist husband for over 25 years and Jesus broke me to rebuild me and I can say Yes and amen to everything you said. Love them, pray for them, being prayed up is essential, a soft answer even if it's not what they want to hear can be a game changer. Today was my husband first day of holiday and wow it felt like a train station... I ran to prayer, and the peace of God brought me calmness. Praise the Lord and bless you 🙏
WHY are you still with such a toxic person? u have a death wish for yourself? use 2 Tim 3:5 and get away from that person.
I wish I could have listened to this 50 years ago! My life could have been so much happier!!
Enjoy the rest of your days now that this information is available.
Thank you.
You Are a gift from Jesus!!! This is the right way to approach this topic.
With Jesus as our true counceller.
And you bringing His beautyfull truth is setting us free.
Thank you Lord and, thank you Kris for your good work of the Lord.
Bless you!!!
the part where Kris says, Be filled with the love of Jesus, be all prayed up, yes, I hear that. But if the difficult person STILL comes at us with subterfuge, rationalizations, subtle blame, manipulating us to apologize, it is not our fault. It does NOT mean that we don't have enough love of Jesus in us, that we failed in some way..... I have fallen into this self-blame trap again and again, and I see it now as more tactic of the enemy. Just walk away, and continue to pray for their souls from a distance. You didn't fail. Be in the Lord's peace.
Thank you Kris for your ministry in counselling me in my relationship with the toxic people. Your ministry is truly anointed. God bless you!
Its incredible how badly prepared we are to deal with narcissits and other mental and behaviour problematic people. Most people cant belive that someone is sick mentally, and its not just their caracter. Never sugar coat stuff you hinder their capacity to discern and choose.
Only 2 words for a narcissist - good bye. Go ahead and leave out the good part. Actually no need to say anything. Just leave!
Stepping away can be hard when you are always approached in the car.
Going no contact with narcissistic family is the best thing I ever did. I should have done it with my mother decades ago. Woman was extremely evil.
I always knew but hadn't got the courage to get away from her.
I'm trying to heal from the years of abuse from her and my family.
She is dead now and I rejoiced in her death she had a heart of stone
I have been listening to her teaching, studying her instructions if it is in line with how I am understanding what I read in the Bible .
1John 4:1
“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world” (1 John 4:1
I have to say, she is truly ftom God's Kingdom. Very genuine snd I could feel her love for Jesus Christ.
Thank you for these effective strategies. I have been applying the "DEEP" method, "Don't Defend, Explain, Engage, Personalize." Difficult to do when confronted with the Narc, but with practice, it works well. I find silence is often the best response.
This Lady is a God send! For real! ❤
Thank you so much Kris ! God bless you sister in Christ ! These tips have been extremely helpful ❤
I'm so glad it's helpful! thanks for watching
It is encouraging to hear that I am not to blame for their getting enraged when I seek to get more and more healthy
Hi Kris, I hear every word you saying, this narcissistic person in question simply doesn't hear a thing one is saying.. She's so caught up with herself.
Love listening to you and is really of much help..
God bless you and take care.
Thanks for sharing God's love with the world.. All in your teaching is very correct.. AMEN..
Forgiveness is a must. No option. God will take care of the rest.❤
You're Awesome Kris Reese! Thank you for being a part of the healing and growing journey !
thank God and thank you Kris for this timely sharing as i was dealing with a toxic person yesterday. Glad i kept quiet and did not involved in the toxic tango. May God continue to pour His love into me so that i can love this person as He loves him. 🙏🏼✝️♥️
Yes, I'd rather regret not saying something than saying something I can't take back.
I failed to protect my children from their toxic grandmother and the consequences have been devastating. Neither son is doing well. Please pray for the situation. God knows the details.
Thank you so much precious sister-in-Christ! I can’t begin to explain how much you’re blessing me. So many years of heartache and misconstrued ideas of what honoring my unbelievably cruel dad looks like. You’ve helped me tremendously along with the Holy Spirit and communing with the Lord daily, of course. The Lord is revealing so much, it’s incredible. Thank you a million times over for your obedience in using your gifts to help others like myself. God bless you! ❤
I actually like forgiving because it feels good, and I’d be happy to talk things through with people, and yet some prefer to triangulate and escalate drama. I pray for, fast, give the benefit of the doubt, apologize for my part, etc., etc. I keep working on myself. Don’t know what else to do when some are intent on looking for a weakness to exploit. I just won’t engage with some anymore even if they’re angry at my having left the situation
I've tried all the above in a very respectful fashion, however; it angered the other person even more. Frustrating, to say the least. So the best solution for myself is to walk away.
#Boundaries
Thank you for all your videos. They are very much appreciated. It is very hard for a woman not to defend herself while you’re being attacked constantly, but you are so right. I must confess I take the bait all the time and he is bringing out the ugly side of me that I let go along time ago, and I must learn not to fight fire with fire. I am going to learn this method.
I love this ❤ 'If Christ can forgive in the middle of being crucified'
Amen, To all you have said!!!!
Jesus Christ was praying for the Father to extend forgiveness to those who crucified them, this does not mean they were forgiven without repenting and trusting in Him. Other times when Christ forgave someone He just said; "your sins are forgiven you." Christ had the ability to forgive repentant people, but He was asking the Father to extend forgiveness to those who are repentant.
Kris, I can't begin to tell you what your vids have meant to me. God led me here! ❤
Stop trying to get people to see the light but be the light. Woah, right on😲
You are a blessing!!!
Your love for Jesus and God-honronring relationships is beautiful and refreshing! Thank you, and may YAHWEH continue to bless you and His ministry through you ABUNDANTLY in Jesus' mighty name!
Yes, so my husband flipped out more when I said I need and want you to calm down. He was enraged and just screamed 😮
Thank-you for this series.
Amen, forgiveness open the door!❤
This is very informative information to have ... thank you for teaching the right way 👍🏼 grateful !!!!
I'm so grateful for your wisdom, and believe God led me to find you. Thank you. ❤
I'm the one that finally and repeatedly BLEW UP! She wanted to keep making rude comments and then refuse to talk about it...gaslighting me. I had been under her control in certain areas for so long. But, unfortunately, I'm the one who lost control out of utter frustration.
Thank you very much Kris on the way you answered the question on teaching children on the excesses of toxic family members. My grown kids have been subjected to tons of gaslighting and manipulation and an education on the traits might just help them.
Thank you so much Kris for addressing narcissism from a christian viewpoint!
God taught me a lot about my own past (and yet to overcome) and another person's narcissism through TH-cam videos which I got from that same person who wanted to educate me about other people's narcissism. But it took me a while and a lot of help from the Lord to get through my confusion and see the narcissism in THEM.
But what got me writing this message is: The first question and the answer to it were really tough for me... I'll have to listen to it again... and pray about it... again... 🙏
Thank you so much. I can’t thank you enough for your support. You are an amazing woman. 🙏
I may need to watch and listen to you again!! This has been very good for me!!
I’m ready
This is very helpful! It would be great if you could do a whole video about how to teach your kids boundaries and how to handle toxic individuals. Thanks for what you do!
I just found this channel and extremely glad I did. Thank you it has served me well. ❤
Prayed up always is vitally important. Ty for reminding me. God bless you.
I love this one!!!
Amen you're on point 100%..
God Bless you Minister Reece ❤️🙏🏾🙂
Thank you so much for this video, there is so much wisdom here . Everyone that is dealing with a narcissist needs to watch this. I wish I could have watched this many years ago. Thank you again ❤️.
This is a 5 star video very helpful
Totally agree with what you're saying, makes perfect sense for us dealing with narcissistic people, or anyone really. Thank you so much for your videos. I really need this. God bless. I'm ready!
Amen Sister. Very encouraging. Thank you
SOOO good, Just this week shared some of this with a person who was trying to push my healthy boundaries 👍😂💖☝️
Amen and thank you.
You are on point
Thank you. Good refresher material. And the links are so helpful.
Glory! Thank You! Love it! ❤
Absolutely agree with your response to question #1,
Thank YOU!
Amen 🙏. Please Jesus shine through me
Thank you for making these videos. I appreciate you!💝
Fantastic advice Kris, thank you SO MUCH!
Ready!
Thank you so much Kris for all your advice ! You are really helping me to be good and strong Christian . God bless you 🙏❤❤❤
God bless your soul and your family, Thank God a thousand time for giving you to us. thank you
Keep teaching sis! You have softened my heart to see what I have missed! Thanks!💜
I pray for God's blessings upon you!! Thank you so much for helping so many of us on how to deal with narcissistic people/family. I have learned so much and these lessons have helped me so much!! 🙏🙏
Sometimes they will not give you a chance to get these words out of your mouth. I've tried this many times and he's on another subject. By them I'm in tears and I know in my heart he is playing me. Been there done that for decades the only way I handle it now is staying away from him and 🤲 praying for him. I love him very much but no longer can deal with the verbal abuse with lie's throw in plus his anger if he's drinking or on drugs he then wants to hit me or push me about. 😢 But I'll always❤ him. From a distance until he apologizes, knowing him it will be a cold day in hell. He's the type always 👍 right. But I never give up with prayer to Yasuha .
I wish I had seen this during the holidays. TY 4 putting together such an invaluable resource when narc's r at their worst - Xmas. All that happiness & joy must b too much to bear.
Thank you for the direction, and thank you for teaching applicable Biblical truths. Your ministry has been a lifeline to me this past year. I pray you are blessed this Christmas as we celebrate the greatest gift of all, Jesus! I am always amazed at how he knowingly gave up Heaven for the cross. What amazing love! God bless...
Thank you for clear instruction.
Woooow❤..Thankyou for sharing such an empowered video💫✌️💫💫God Bless You✌️✌️
Great job, Kris! Thank you for sharing God’s gift and messages!
Amen.
Thank you for all. I thank God for the strength He is giving me in the reactions for toxic narcissist. Some people says, that i am just acting i am so calm... But i feel all the time fine. As i know that the person ( close family member) is this way and does not understand that is really the one who is toxic. But as you replied About keeping kids in the environment... Yes, it's our responsibility to take them of the situations, but not easy as it is the member of family... :( And it seems i am judged from other family members, that i want kids far from the person :(
I'm Ready
Amen and wow this is so respectfully awesome I needed this so much ty and bless your ministry 🙏🏼❤️