"I like myself better when I don't pay attention to anyone else". I don't know who said it but I have codependent issues and this saying always helps me pull out of unhealthy thinking. Thanks Vera.
Two little sayings that hit home for me.... 1. Not sure where this one came from.. "Mainstream is not the only stream." 2. This one surprisingly (at least for me) is from David Bowie.. "Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been."
Someone had done something that hurt me badly and I was trying to understand why they had done it. A friend told me, “Don’t try to understand it. Your mind doesn’t work the way theirs does.” Another one I read somewhere was “If a snake bites you you don’t try to convince the snake you didn’t deserve to be bitten…You focus on healing. My final one is “Quit complaining about being a doormat and get off the damn floor!”
"we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" said in passing by my mum, I have been a future planner/worrier for so long, over thinking and planning things out way too early/in advance, When I was rambling to her one day about my plans she said this it immediately quieted my mind and allowed me to relax. Now whenever I start worrying about something in the future I remind myself of this and I calm down, and a majority of the time, when it does come time to cross the bridge everything is fine and there was never any reason to worry.
A good friend told me long ago that if you don't look after yourself, nobody else will. That's one of the best pieces of advice I ever got. I also have a saying for myself when I'm overwhelmed with too many things to do, "First things first, next things next." which is a simple way of reminding myself to focus on one task only and then giving full attention to the next instead of trying to do too many things at once. Your videos make my day! I always learn something.
Someone once told me, “Ann, don’t worry about the pebbles. Watch out for the rocks!” HSP’s will notice the specks in the pebbles but I’m still learning to not let them trip me up so much. I love your mantra, “not now “.
"There are days, when it is a immense task enough, just to survive to the next day." (Quoted from memory, read in Luise Rinser's novel *Mitte des Lebens* in the late 1970's) This has helped me through difficult times, as in dark days, you don't have to survive with grace, not with pride of yourself, not to impress - just to survive, so that you can take a baby-step tomorrow. I believe other people whom I told this wisdom, also have felt comforted by this humble and doable step, because sometimes it is enough to just hold out until tomorrow. Nothing more is demanded. I loved everyone of the good thoughts today from you, Vera! All the best!
I wish I saw this video when I was in my 20 when I was pushing myself to work non stop exercise every day and have a perfect home. Now I am in my 50 I understand that I need to respect my needs for taking a break, having a quiet day or it’s ok to have less productive day .
Dear Vera, I just want to thank you once again for all your videos, but especially this one with the messages that it IS OK to do what we need to do for ourselves. Some of us get this reminder very little in our own lives - or not at all. I realized years back that if I'm not hearing these kind reminders from others, then I have to start telling them to myself, or seek them out from comforting sources, like your beautiful channel. I love your soothing voice, your positivity, your understanding, and the way you stand up for all of us HSPs! xo
Hi from Canada, Vera. I bought a small glass tea-pot last week in Mainz and am taking your advice. My brilliant big brother (a doctor) told me, "Always be the calmest person in the room." When it feels like I'm living my life inside the Emergency ward at a hospital...a good book, hot water bottle, cozy blanket, the couch, and a tea pot (which all may lead to a nap) make me think I'm as smart as Einstein!
"Give yourself a year" really resonated with me. I was part-time and not permanent at my job. A month ago, I got a permanent and full-time position. I am really happy about it but I'm struggling to adjust and keep my life balanced. Going from almost unemployed to full-time in a week is really hard for me. I don't understand how everyone can work full-time and still take care of the house, the kids, the errands and not lose their head. It just seems so easy for everyone and I feel like I could never make it. BUT, it's been a month. I will take the advice, and give myself a year. 😊 Thank you very much.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and congratulations on your new job! Yes working full-time is definitely intense and I totally understand it takes time to get used to that change. Honestly, I still feel like that often (how can all these people work this much and still have time and energy to do everything else too) and I think it's just that it looks easier from the outside looking at others, than is really is for them. I think many people often feel overwhelmed. So yes, take things one at a time, don't get stressed if certain things don't get done today and they will have to wait for some other time this week, and give yourself plenty of time to adjust and get used to your new schedule :)
The really difficult changes to manage take at least two years or more - like surviving a divorce, starting a totally new career or life-style, or recovering from/adjusting to a life-changing illness - and then one has to really do one's best, it doesn't happen from itself. Time doesn't heal everything - you yourself make the positive shift, and you can do it, one step at the time. Be open to any help from even random sources. It might show up at any time, in any form.
Going through a divorce and being separated for 2 years …I still don’t feel like I’ve recovered. It almost feels like I went a few steps back recently with another chapter closing in my life. Hoping for better days.
I saw the same topic at Pick up Limes (she lives in the netherlands too). She had one point which really hit home for me: how you go about brushing your teeth is how you live your live. I am constantly doing stuff while I brush my teeth and try to be productive all the time. It reminded me of slowing down and do the things one by one instead of rushing through live 🙈
“Give yourself a year” was thought-provoking! I am a HSP who is impatient and reluctant to change. You’re totally right about needing a long time to settle into big life changes. I’ve been trying to accept my new life and routine dealing with a chronic illness, but I needed to hear that these things just take TIME. That, and hearing that self-accommodation is okay, really calmed my nerves. Thank you 😊
Hearing about real, actionable advice that has transformed someone else’s life can be so inspiring, especially when you’re feeling lost or overwhelmed. Sometimes, it’s small shifts in mindset or approach that can make the biggest difference, and this video likely provides the kind of wisdom that can help people navigate their challenges and find clarity and strength
Yesterday I watched a random video about habits from someone who has a channel about living alone in her 50s, and one thing she does is curate her social media to keep the negativity to a minimum. She included some youtube channels she watches and one of them was yours. :)
@@SimpleHappyZen I just had go and scroll back through my watch history...I don't know if YT will let me post a link, but the channel is called Silver and Solo and the video is "6 Healthy Habits I'm Adding to my Silver Life." She talked about the concept of Niksen that she learned from you (she also links your channel in the description). It's at about 16:16 in the video and when the word appeared on the screen I thought, "that sounds familiar..!"
Grave of the Fireflies! 😭 I haven’t been able to watch that film since I first saw it over a decade ago… truly the most heart-wrenching, utterly depressing film out there, but indeed a masterpiece. Once piece of advice my husband gave me was “If something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.” This phrase usually ends with the word “well”, meaning that you should always take your time over a task and do it to the best of your ability. But when it is changed to “badly”, it is designed to make you realise that not everything needs to be done perfectly… usually, a half decent job is better than no job at all. I struggle with procrastination and overthinking, so this saying helps, and it also confuses people and makes them laugh. 😅 Some people also say “Done is better than perfect.”
“If something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.” I really love that! So true, doing it decently is so much better than not doing it at all, because you want to do it perfectly. Also yes, you're so right about Grave of the Fireflies! I watched it like 15 years ago, once, and I never will again. Just thinking about it makes me feel depressed and I start crying haha. It's funny because I learned that wasn't really the intention of the director (Takahata), but that's what his film ended up doing for people.
I worry I might have to watch it again one day as my husband has been watching through all of the Studio Ghibli films with me and he is very intrigued! 😫🫣 Tissues at the ready. I can see maybe that Takahata meant for it to be more… poignant or sweet? The last 15 mins or so of the film probably still haunts everyone who’s ever watched it… 😭
I am using this mantra as I learn to clean and take care of my home. I don't yet know the proper way to clean and fix everything but I tell myself it doesn't have to be done perfectly. I can improve a little bit every time I do it, and sometimes it's okay to phone it in because there's always going to be a next time.
Don't know if I qualify as a highly sensitive person but I am going through a very difficult time and I found your advice very helpful anyway. I recently found the channel, subscribed, already started adapting and using in my life some of the tips I learnt here. I am forever grateful.
Thank you so much and welcome to the channel! So happy to hear you already found some helpful tips here :) Take good care and have a wonderful weekend!!!
A great piece of advice from my therapist: you cannot change what other do... but you can control the way you react to that. Excellent video, thank you Vera!!
A wonderful comment that has made a big difference in my life - if someone makes an unkind comment about you or someone else, it says more about them than the person they are commenting about. Worth thinking about.
'LOVE YOURSELF' This advice of BTS change my life. I was always told to put others first and not be selfish. For 30 yrs I applied this and was used by others shamlessly. At the end I lost my joy of living and was suffering from low selfesteem and emotional burnout. Now I understand that caring for yourself and protecting yourself is selfpreservation and not being selfish. If you are feeling happy only then you can give happiness to others.❤
“You gave me the best of you, so you give you the best of you” really spoke to me too from them! If you can try your hardest for others, you should try your hardest for yourself
What a wonderful way to begin the weekend! You always give the most helpful tips and info. I think I’m going to order “The Highly Sensitive Person” book you mentioned. I love how you give us all reminders to be advocates for ourselves and to do what’s in our best interests. Thank you so much😊
Aw thank you, so happy you enjoyed the video! And yes, the book is definitely a recommendation :) I added a direct link to the book to my description box, but no pressure to use my link of course if you can get it somewhere else :) Have a lovely weekend!!
Your Dad's saying is similar to one we use in the UK and maybe other countries, but I'm not sure. It's "If you don't ask, you don't get." I'm having a bit of a rubbish time with a fibromyalgia flare-up and exhaustion, and I really needed a quiet, warm voice and relaxed video, and right away I thought of you. Thank you, Vera, for everything you do for all of us❤ 🙏 Yes you're right. Grave of the fireflies is so very sad. I watched it years ago and it still stays with me. 😢 It is amazing though ❤
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! Yes, that saying does sound similar. It's funny because we also have a different saying here, it goes: kindjes die vragen worden overgeslagen. It means 'kids who ask, get passed over'. It gets used often with kids who need to learn to stop 'nagging' and constantly asking for things for themselves, but unfortunately it can also give kids the message to not stand up for themselves or their needs, or to communicate what they want and find important, which isn't the right way to go I think. So "If you don't ask, you don't get" is an important counter balance to that :) Also, I'm so sorry to hear about you going through a tough time and having a fibromyalgia flare-up. Sending you a big hug, hopefully things will turn for the better again soon 🌹 Take care! P.S. Yes! I watched Grave of the fireflies once, like 15 years ago, and it definitely does still stay with me, I can't even talk or think about it without crying haha.
Hello from Massachusetts, USA. Many thanks for this video. Funny, but when I was first watching, it seemed that the advice was really more suitable for young3r viewers. But, as I thought about it, a great deal of this inspired me, now age 82. (Not the period underwear, thank goodness! 😀). Even words about job-related issues are equally applicable to just everyday life -- which is just another type of job. In the past few years, how many times I've felt I have lost that spark. Thankfully, it seems to be coming back, and I feel that your video came through at the perfect time. We all need the kind of encouragement you are offering, Vera. Keep on with your wonderful work --- and take as many breaks as you need to. I've been watching your videos since COVID. It is a joy to watch you learn and change. You have become a wise woman, and we are all the beneficiaries of that! ❤️😊
Aw thank you so much for the kind and encouraging words, I really appreciate that! 🤗💕 Thanks so much for being around here all this time, that's so special! Take good care!
Once, when I was 18 years old, I was complaining a lot about my life situation to my dad and he just said "well you chose it yourself". First I was so offended😅 Then i realised that it was so true, all the things I was complaining about was consequences of my own choises. I remind myself of this advice everytime I find myself frustrated - I take responsibility and remember I always have a choise to make changes for the better!😊
For me the quote for Jim Carrey "Hope Walks Through the fire. Faith Leaps over it" as simple as it may sound. Completely changed my life from the ground up. I subconsciously lived through hope "hoping I get the job I want, hope I can pass whatever I'm doing, hope I get a good relationship" but that hope was doing nothing but holding me down, and I didn't even realise it until even after I stopped believe in hope.. I heard that quote Sat on it for a week, thinking about it a lot, and one day 2 hours into my shift, I quit my job and restarted my life, and have achieved so many things that i had "hoped" for for years... hope is a chain, Faith in yourself (not god) is freedom ♥
About 10 years ago a mentor told me ”don’t be attached to outcomes”. In other words, set goals, yes, but also be open to how they unfold. If we try to control too much we most likeöy will miss unexpected opportunities and we wont be living in the present moment. Also, believe it or not I have a throw pillow that reminds me, ”Joy is in the Journey.
I'm so grateful for your advice and your existence, I used to write some of what you are saying and try to apply. I'm sixty, mostly double of your age 😊, but I learned a lot from you. Greetings from an Iraqi woman living in Virginia ❤
Thank you so MUCH, Vera! I am a lot older than you, but I am just making my first steps on the road to self care...so, I am very grateful to you for the wisdom you share with us! Everything you said in this and other videos resonates with me and helps to be on track.P. S. One very intelligent woman said, "Ask yourself if you are really happy, and depending on your positive or negative answer, start taking corresponding actions with a smile".
Thank you so much for your kind comment! So happy to hear you've been enjoying my videos and taking steps towards more self care🤗💕 Also love what she said, especially the part about doing it with a smile :)
The one about “Stop Trying “ is so true. There once was a time when I wanted to be someone’s friend so I tried very hard to make her like me. The harder I tried, the more she disliked me. I was driving her crazy! I finally wised up and completely backed off. Eventually we became friends. I was trying too hard.
Someone told me once that no one can use you as a doormat unless you allow yourself to be used as one. Self advocacy is important. Also there are 3 Chinese proverbs I love. 1-the strongest tree in the forest is the one that bends in the wind . 2- the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. 3- the strongest steel is forged by the hottest fire. I try to remember these when undergoing change.
It’s an abusive statement to a lot of people. Anyone abused as a child can easily get tricked into being a doormat again and they certainly don’t give permission
My wise old Dad has a habit of saying "I'm becoming a new leaf!" This is his corrupted version of the original phrase "Turning a new leaf" which really means turning a new page in life, just as one would turn a "leaf" (page) in a book. I like his version better! "I'm becoming a new leaf!" It is his way of saying that after the dead leaves fall off the tree of your life, you can become anything you want to be! The new leaves of spring don't look the same as the old leaves of fall and winter. You can become anything you want to be!
My Dad always said, “You always get paid more for your talent than your time.” It helped me really focus on the things I am good at and the ways I stand out in the world. I used these talents and skills to expect/demand a specialized salary or fee rather than just clocking in hours doing something anybody could do/ that required no special skills. Believe me, I have humbly done many hourly jobs because they needed to be done or because that was the work available to me at the time, but keeping my eye on opportunities to use my talents to garner better wages has helped greatly in the long run.
I could listen to you talk all day ❤ I love all these life lessons! A big lesson for me was learning to worry less about what other people think of me, and instead be the person I want to be
I have this quote from Maya Angelou on my wall "If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." I also live by "No matter where you go, there you are." And "It will be okay."
For the times when I find myself in a worry spiral, I have some CBT questions I review and they always seem to bring me back down to reality and center me, stopping the senseless worrying.
When I was a child and would get angry or upset I would tell my Mom I was going to run away, and her reply was always the same. "You can't run away from yourself." This has stuck with me all my life and made me realize that I have the power to change things for myself rather than just trying to run away from problems.
Thank you for this video, Vera 🥰 "Be more self-accommodating" is one thing you mentioned that has been changing my life this year in big ways. Today, for instance, I know I need to limit my physical activity before the workweek begins, or I will start it off without energy. So, I will be stopping some activities midday and sitting and resting while other family members continue their activities, which I already told them about yesterday. I have to plan to preserve my well-being. I can't live exhausted anymore.
These are my 3: 1. Love your neighbor as yourself. ( This is how I hope to move through life.) 2. Be slow to speak, and quick to listen. 3. The right one doesn’t come in your life when the wrong one is there. ( This has taught me to let people or relationships go and embrace the new ones that come my way!)
YES!!! I watched it once, around 15 years ago, not knowing what I was getting myself into. I'm glad I saw it but I'll never watch it again, and I kind of felt compelled to warn people about it haha.
#5 ask. Yes! I am heading up a fundraising banquet for a youth group. There is a lot of asking that goes into that and I just keep pushing through. The amount of people who have said yes and come alongside us, is so encouraging. None of these people would have come to me because they didn't know there was a need. If they'd said "no," I would have been where I began so nothing to lose.
I am retiring Oct.31st. I know I will feel untethered but looking forward to travelling and volunteering at the Zoo. I am also going to work on self care and time for myself. Not just being by myself but being more intentional with that time. You are helping me a lot with the process. Thank you. ❤️ from 🇨🇦
This might have been mentioned, but one of my favorites that my Mom says is: "Where there is a will there is a way." In times of struggle or worry I simply sprinkle on a little relaxing and let go of any struggle and a way is found! Yep, magic.❤
❤ Tea & talk w Vera make every day better! Totally resonate with all. As a fellow HSP w more “life experience” I’ve learned to hold dreams lightly as they may not come true, but to follow your life goals with the perseverance of a marathon runner. For me, that is following Jesus in his will, joy, love, patience, forgiveness, gentleness, kindness, peace, faithfulness, and self control. These things will make me a better human, and although the journey may be a “scenic tour” instead of a straight line, ultimately my life will be a rich legacy and I won’t be crushed by the broken pieces of dreams, fears, anxieties, and disillusionments along the way. God bless you Vera for the light of your soul ❤
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and I'm happy you enjoyed the video and that the points resonated with you! 🤗🍵 Love what you said about life not being a straight line but rather taking the 'scenic route' 🌳 I think that's the way it often goes, and these unexpected surprises and detours can make it even more worthwhile
I had a burnout too when I moved from a small company to a very big company. It was 5 years ago. The role was Product Manager. After I quit, I am never convinced to go back to a corporate job. I started freelancing as a social media manager. I feel so reassured to know I'm not alone. I also feel a sense of calm while watching your videos, Vera.
That's so interesting, thank you for sharing! I sometimes feel a little unsure of what I should do if I had to (or someday wanted to) stop doing youtube, really not wanting to go back to the corporate world. So hearing there are others out there who have made freelancing work for them is really great :) Gives me hope :)
Vera your videos are warm hug.. love you so much.. I must say I love comments section if ur videos equally.. so beautiful and amazing like minded kind hearted souls.. Thanks for this extraordinary community and superlative content❤️
Aw you're welcome! So sorry to hear about your burnout... Please remember to keep taking baby steps and take good care! Wishing you all the best for your recovery
Dear Vera, thank you so much for this video, especially for advice #6. Your talking about Kiki losing her magic due to trying too hard really made me cry, because I thought for a very long time this year that I lost my ability to write my novels while I was trying so hard to get something written. I finally took a break from writing (not being told by a friend like Ursula, but my husband), and just now I have the feeling that it slowly comes back to me - but I still need my beraks and I still need to take it slowly. I need to watch that movie.
You're so welcome, glad to hear that resonated with you. And your husband gave you some really good advice :) Definitely recommend giving Kiki a watch, it's so comforting, especially for creatives :) Also, there's another Studio Ghibli movie called Whisper of the Heart that deals with creativity and burnout, and this time specifically about writing. So maybe you'd love that one too. It's also really wonderful, plus there's a super cute romance and a fun cat hahaha.
In dealing with watching a sick parent getting older (anticipatory grief), or after they have passed away: "Loving someone is grieving for them while they're still here. Grieving someone is loving them after they're gone". Couple this with adding two little words to everything: "get to". I get to experience grief because I'm fortunate enough to have felt love.
Thank you so much for your genuineness. Your videos specially those about HSPs honestly has changed my self view and I am forever changed. you've opened my eyes and my heart. Deeply appreciate all your effort and videos. Much Love to you
Great advice. Waiting a year really resonated with me. Wish I had kept that in mind when I became a new mother, when my son was diagnosed with autism and when I took on a big promotion at work (both in the same year!) Now we have settled in and it doesn't feel like the chaos it once did. My mantra lately is "don't borrow trouble." Can't remember where I heard it from but after a lifetime of anxiety it was just the tip I needed to stop worrying about the future. Through Zen practice I'm trying to focus on what's right in front of me.
Not sure if it counts as advice, but I once came across a phrase that changed my life: "Low self-esteem is, by definition, a false perception of oneself". For anyone out there struggling with their self-esteem, you are not alone and it can get better. Give yourself permission to see yourself differently 💚 Couldn't agree more about Grave of the Fireflies. Watched it years ago without knowing what I was getting myself into, never again 😅
Oh that does sound very helpful, thanks for sharing!! Also yes hahaha, I also watched it without noticing what I was getting into. There are other Studio Ghibli movies that are really sad, or at least have some sad moments, but this one just completely crushed you and leaves you broken 😅 I'm glad I watched it once, but I never will again.
I've prided myself on my tenacity, but I'm so tired of being a "human doing" in stead of a "human being." I like that you pointed out taking care of yourself and making your life a little easier and more comfortable is worth the investment and not something to be ashamed of. Big changes taking a whole year to acclimate to sounds wild to me. My life has been lived in such a whirlwind, taking a year to get used to something sounds like a luxury. Kiki's Delivery Service is one of my favourite childhood movies. Ursula's advice is the best advice. I've doled it out to friends on many occasions. It's what I'm trying to do right now. To just let myself be and stop trying so very hard. I look forward to your videos as a reminder to take a moment to remember to slow down and appreciate a hot cup of tea or similar. Thank you for the lovely thoughts, as usual.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, so fun to hear you also enjoy Kiki's delivery service and talk about its message with friends. :) Take care and have a wonderful day!
Sept - Dec best part of the year. Post-holidays, bare, droopy trees, rain, dark days and gray skies sort of suck. Would love an episode on how Netherlands handle that late winter pre spring stretch.
I’m quietly crying as I watch this as I am just realizing I’m just so tired and need to pay attention and take care. You’re very inspiring and calming - blessings ❤️
Oh this was wonderful. Very much aligned with how I am making short and long term changes in my life even at 68years old. It would have been amazing to have had similar advice back when I was in my early adult life but that was not meant to be. So here I am and your advice is doable. Thank you
Thanks for your video. One of my beliefs.. ‘it will work itself out!’ It allows me not to worry about it.. I will do what I can etc.. but not worry overly.. because it will work itself out.. one way or another.. and then I move onto the next thing I want to do… ❤
"Speak your truth but with kindness." - The Dalai Lama. This has been really guiding me over the last years. I used to be quite the people-pleaser but lately I stepped back from it, slowly but surely. In the beginning I felt quite bad saying no to people and things and often invented little excuses which somehow made me feel worse. But the idea of saying it with kindness really changed everything. Whenever I am about to invent a little lie, I remember it and stop myself. Instead, I tell the truth but with kindness. :) Love your advice, too! Especially the one from the movie of Studio Ghibli hit home! I found it on Netflix and I am so gonna watch it at the weekend! Thanks! :D
Thank you for another wonderful video Vera! I have been at my job for 11 years now and for the past 2 years it's been really rough because of staff changes and times of being short staffed which made me be responsible for not only my job but another one as well. It has been really stressful and I've definitely been feeling burnt out. Your videos really helped me to remember to take the time to relax and leave work at work instead of taking it home. They are so comforting and eye opening to me in realizing that self care is very important and I have been trying to take the time for that!
Hi there! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I'm so sorry to hear about your job situation, I've worked several jobs where we were grossly understaffed and I had to always run, I know how hard it can be. I think it's great you're doing your best to leave work at work and to focus on self care. Take good care!
Hi Vera, my dad used to tell us “the squeaky wheel gets the grease”, and I know that sounds funny but I always rememberd that because it’s true you have to ask for what you want and so # 5 “there’s no downside to being assertive” resonated with me, he also used to say, “let sleeping dogs lie or don’t open a can of worms”, which meant that sometimes it’s better not knowing every little thing or rehashing problems from the past because it could bring us more stress and misery and we could regret pushing it. The old sayings have so much wisdom if we just stop and really think about it…. It was nice seeing your dad, he looks very kind 😊… do you look more like your mom? Great advice here Vera ✅
I like the first advice to not being bound by your past. I feel like my possessions and clothes are a part of my identity. When I declutter and let go, It's like a fresh start that gives the opportunity for something new. It's also easier to be flexible as a minimalist.
(Work advice) Treat each job like a stepping stone to where you want to be. I like this because it reminds me that there is value in where I am right now, rather than just thinking of the future.
I would like to take a moment of my Sunday and appreciate how amazing your video is. It is well thought out and very on point. As someone who has many big changes in life within less than two years I really appreciate this. 😊
These are such great points, thank you Vera. My mum used to tell me something similar to your dad. She'd say, "you don't ask, you don't get". I know she wanted me to be more assertive and believe in myself 😊
I was given the same advice as you regarding it taking time to adjust to a new job. There were layoffs that were starting at the company I had worked at for years and years so I had to go to a new department - it took me a long time to adjust to a new role that I had zero experience in. I really need to watch Kiki's Delivery Service!! Your advice in this video is wonderful.
Ah yes that sounds like it can be challenging at times, definitely something to take some time to get used to. Also yes to watching Kiki's Delivery Service!! :) If you do, tell me what you think :)
Thank you for your advice! Change is very possible for the better. Leave the past behind.Nothing is set in stone. Make things easier for you. Self focus self care. Embraced the slow life and a slow gradual living lifestyle especially in retirement. You have the freedom to use your own time however you like at your own pace. Health is wealth! Choose to prioritise yourself! Healing takes time and effort. Que sera sera whatever will be life goes on....
I have advocated cups for about 15 years! My first cup lasted 11 years! I love period panties!! They are so helpful with leaks during my period. It has been a long long long time since I last saw Kiki's Delivery Service. The first time I did was in the 90s and it was cute! I've seen every Ghibli film. I have only seen Grave of Fireflies ONCE back in 2001, because I sobbed so much afterwards. It really is the saddest movie ever.
❤ Happy SENSATIONAL SATURDAY! Good to see you beautiful VERA in the NETHERLANDS! You are a breath of fresh air. I pray for you 🙏 to be blessed and safe. KATIE ❣️ KENTUCKY😊!
"I like myself better when I don't pay attention to anyone else". I don't know who said it but I have codependent issues and this saying always helps me pull out of unhealthy thinking. Thanks Vera.
Oh that's actually so good, thanks for sharing that one! I'm going to practice with it :) Have a great weekend!
@@cantocant2346 Wow! That’s a really great quote! And so true!
Wonderful quote! I will try to remember it; this is what I REALLY need...Thanks!
Two little sayings that hit home for me....
1. Not sure where this one came from..
"Mainstream is not the only stream."
2. This one surprisingly (at least for me) is from David Bowie..
"Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been."
Oh I love both and have never heard of them before, thanks for sharing!
TFS❤
"Romanticize your life" is a piece of advice that has made so much sense to me. Noticing how full of small pleasures our lives are feels so good!
Wonderful :)
Lovvvve that!
TFS ❤
Well said! :)
Someone had done something that hurt me badly and I was trying to understand why they had done it. A friend told me, “Don’t try to understand it. Your mind doesn’t work the way theirs does.”
Another one I read somewhere was “If a snake bites you you don’t try to convince the snake you didn’t deserve to be bitten…You focus on healing.
My final one is “Quit complaining about being a doormat and get off the damn floor!”
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Thanks so much for sharing these! I also like the tough love with the last one 😁
😂😂😂
"we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" said in passing by my mum, I have been a future planner/worrier for so long, over thinking and planning things out way too early/in advance, When I was rambling to her one day about my plans she said this it immediately quieted my mind and allowed me to relax. Now whenever I start worrying about something in the future I remind myself of this and I calm down, and a majority of the time, when it does come time to cross the bridge everything is fine and there was never any reason to worry.
VERY true, love that! Thanks for sharing
Hi Vera. My friend told me: Those who matter don't mind; those who mind don't matter.
YES I love this one!! So true 😁❤️
A good friend told me long ago that if you don't look after yourself, nobody else will. That's one of the best pieces of advice I ever got. I also have a saying for myself when I'm overwhelmed with too many things to do, "First things first, next things next." which is a simple way of reminding myself to focus on one task only and then giving full attention to the next instead of trying to do too many things at once. Your videos make my day! I always learn something.
YES I love both of them!! Thanks for sharing 🤗🌱
"You can't stress the unimportance of practically everything". This rings so true to me When I am over stressing on things I can't control.
"I would make a entire video about the lessons I learned from Studio Ghibli" YES please!!! ❤
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Would love that too! ❤❤❤
Yess I agree :D
Someone once told me, “Ann, don’t worry about the pebbles. Watch out for the rocks!” HSP’s will notice the specks in the pebbles but I’m still learning to not let them trip me up so much.
I love your mantra, “not now “.
"There are days, when it is a immense task enough, just to survive to the next day." (Quoted from memory, read in Luise Rinser's novel *Mitte des Lebens* in the late 1970's) This has helped me through difficult times, as in dark days, you don't have to survive with grace, not with pride of yourself, not to impress - just to survive, so that you can take a baby-step tomorrow. I believe other people whom I told this wisdom, also have felt comforted by this humble and doable step, because sometimes it is enough to just hold out until tomorrow. Nothing more is demanded.
I loved everyone of the good thoughts today from you, Vera! All the best!
Oh I love this and it made me tear up, thank you for sharing 🌹
I wish I saw this video when I was in my 20 when I was pushing myself to work non stop exercise every day and have a perfect home. Now I am in my 50 I understand that I need to respect my needs for taking a break, having a quiet day or it’s ok to have less productive day .
Dear Vera, I just want to thank you once again for all your videos, but especially this one with the messages that it IS OK to do what we need to do for ourselves. Some of us get this reminder very little in our own lives - or not at all. I realized years back that if I'm not hearing these kind reminders from others, then I have to start telling them to myself, or seek them out from comforting sources, like your beautiful channel. I love your soothing voice, your positivity, your understanding, and the way you stand up for all of us HSPs! xo
Aw that's such a nice comment, thank you Rachel 🤗🌳 Permission to take extra good care, always!
Hi from Canada, Vera. I bought a small glass tea-pot last week in Mainz and am taking your advice. My brilliant big brother (a doctor) told me, "Always be the calmest person in the room." When it feels like I'm living my life inside the Emergency ward at a hospital...a good book, hot water bottle, cozy blanket, the couch, and a tea pot (which all may lead to a nap) make me think I'm as smart as Einstein!
I love what your brother advised.
My father’s wife always says “don’t borrow trouble”. It reminds me to be present and accept that tomorrow will bring what tomorrow will bring.
"Give yourself a year" really resonated with me.
I was part-time and not permanent at my job. A month ago, I got a permanent and full-time position. I am really happy about it but I'm struggling to adjust and keep my life balanced. Going from almost unemployed to full-time in a week is really hard for me.
I don't understand how everyone can work full-time and still take care of the house, the kids, the errands and not lose their head. It just seems so easy for everyone and I feel like I could never make it.
BUT, it's been a month. I will take the advice, and give myself a year. 😊
Thank you very much.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and congratulations on your new job! Yes working full-time is definitely intense and I totally understand it takes time to get used to that change. Honestly, I still feel like that often (how can all these people work this much and still have time and energy to do everything else too) and I think it's just that it looks easier from the outside looking at others, than is really is for them. I think many people often feel overwhelmed. So yes, take things one at a time, don't get stressed if certain things don't get done today and they will have to wait for some other time this week, and give yourself plenty of time to adjust and get used to your new schedule :)
Give yourself a year, this is a very useful advice. Thank you very much!
Happy to hear it! I've also found it so helpful 🤗🍵
@@SimpleHappyZen And your video is very useful. I think that I will watch it again 🍂🤎💡
The really difficult changes to manage take at least two years or more - like surviving a divorce, starting a totally new career or life-style, or recovering from/adjusting to a life-changing illness - and then one has to really do one's best, it doesn't happen from itself. Time doesn't heal everything - you yourself make the positive shift, and you can do it, one step at the time. Be open to any help from even random sources. It might show up at any time, in any form.
Going through a divorce and being separated for 2 years …I still don’t feel like I’ve recovered. It almost feels like I went a few steps back recently with another chapter closing in my life. Hoping for better days.
I saw the same topic at Pick up Limes (she lives in the netherlands too). She had one point which really hit home for me: how you go about brushing your teeth is how you live your live. I am constantly doing stuff while I brush my teeth and try to be productive all the time. It reminded me of slowing down and do the things one by one instead of rushing through live 🙈
“Give yourself a year” was thought-provoking! I am a HSP who is impatient and reluctant to change. You’re totally right about needing a long time to settle into big life changes. I’ve been trying to accept my new life and routine dealing with a chronic illness, but I needed to hear that these things just take TIME. That, and hearing that self-accommodation is okay, really calmed my nerves. Thank you 😊
Hearing about real, actionable advice that has transformed someone else’s life can be so inspiring, especially when you’re feeling lost or overwhelmed. Sometimes, it’s small shifts in mindset or approach that can make the biggest difference, and this video likely provides the kind of wisdom that can help people navigate their challenges and find clarity and strength
Thank you so much for the kind words! 🤗🍵
Yesterday I watched a random video about habits from someone who has a channel about living alone in her 50s, and one thing she does is curate her social media to keep the negativity to a minimum. She included some youtube channels she watches and one of them was yours. :)
Ah that's so nice to hear! Do you know which channel that was? Also, yes to curating your social media, so important :)
@@SimpleHappyZen I just had go and scroll back through my watch history...I don't know if YT will let me post a link, but the channel is called Silver and Solo and the video is "6 Healthy Habits I'm Adding to my Silver Life." She talked about the concept of Niksen that she learned from you (she also links your channel in the description). It's at about 16:16 in the video and when the word appeared on the screen I thought, "that sounds familiar..!"
@@allein1001 Oh cool!! Thank you for looking it up and sharing it with me 🤗
Grave of the Fireflies! 😭 I haven’t been able to watch that film since I first saw it over a decade ago… truly the most heart-wrenching, utterly depressing film out there, but indeed a masterpiece.
Once piece of advice my husband gave me was “If something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.” This phrase usually ends with the word “well”, meaning that you should always take your time over a task and do it to the best of your ability. But when it is changed to “badly”, it is designed to make you realise that not everything needs to be done perfectly… usually, a half decent job is better than no job at all. I struggle with procrastination and overthinking, so this saying helps, and it also confuses people and makes them laugh. 😅 Some people also say “Done is better than perfect.”
“If something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.” I really love that! So true, doing it decently is so much better than not doing it at all, because you want to do it perfectly.
Also yes, you're so right about Grave of the Fireflies! I watched it like 15 years ago, once, and I never will again. Just thinking about it makes me feel depressed and I start crying haha. It's funny because I learned that wasn't really the intention of the director (Takahata), but that's what his film ended up doing for people.
I worry I might have to watch it again one day as my husband has been watching through all of the Studio Ghibli films with me and he is very intrigued! 😫🫣 Tissues at the ready. I can see maybe that Takahata meant for it to be more… poignant or sweet? The last 15 mins or so of the film probably still haunts everyone who’s ever watched it… 😭
I am using this mantra as I learn to clean and take care of my home. I don't yet know the proper way to clean and fix everything but I tell myself it doesn't have to be done perfectly. I can improve a little bit every time I do it, and sometimes it's okay to phone it in because there's always going to be a next time.
Don't know if I qualify as a highly sensitive person but I am going through a very difficult time and I found your advice very helpful anyway. I recently found the channel, subscribed, already started adapting and using in my life some of the tips I learnt here. I am forever grateful.
Thank you so much and welcome to the channel! So happy to hear you already found some helpful tips here :) Take good care and have a wonderful weekend!!!
A great piece of advice from my therapist: you cannot change what other do... but you can control the way you react to that.
Excellent video, thank you Vera!!
Yes so true and this can be helpful in so many different situations! :) Thanks for sharing
A wonderful comment that has made a big difference in my life - if someone makes an unkind comment about you or someone else, it says more about them than the person they are commenting about. Worth thinking about.
YES so true! Thanks for sharing :)
'LOVE YOURSELF' This advice of BTS change my life. I was always told to put others first and not be selfish. For 30 yrs I applied this and was used by others shamlessly. At the end I lost my joy of living and was suffering from low selfesteem and emotional burnout. Now I understand that caring for yourself and protecting yourself is selfpreservation and not being selfish. If you are feeling happy only then you can give happiness to others.❤
“You gave me the best of you, so you give you the best of you” really spoke to me too from them! If you can try your hardest for others, you should try your hardest for yourself
A workplace mentor said, “slow down, and do one thing at a time.” It’s a gift you give yourself. ❤️
YES! Couldn't agree more :) Thanks for sharing!
What a wonderful way to begin the weekend! You always give the most helpful tips and info. I think I’m going to order “The Highly Sensitive Person” book you mentioned. I love how you give us all reminders to be advocates for ourselves and to do what’s in our best interests. Thank you so much😊
Aw thank you, so happy you enjoyed the video! And yes, the book is definitely a recommendation :) I added a direct link to the book to my description box, but no pressure to use my link of course if you can get it somewhere else :) Have a lovely weekend!!
@@SimpleHappyZen Thank you so much. Hope you have a lovely weekend as well😊
Your Dad's saying is similar to one we use in the UK and maybe other countries, but I'm not sure. It's "If you don't ask, you don't get." I'm having a bit of a rubbish time with a fibromyalgia flare-up and exhaustion, and I really needed a quiet, warm voice and relaxed video, and right away I thought of you. Thank you, Vera, for everything you do for all of us❤ 🙏
Yes you're right. Grave of the fireflies is so very sad. I watched it years ago and it still stays with me. 😢 It is amazing though ❤
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! Yes, that saying does sound similar. It's funny because we also have a different saying here, it goes: kindjes die vragen worden overgeslagen. It means 'kids who ask, get passed over'. It gets used often with kids who need to learn to stop 'nagging' and constantly asking for things for themselves, but unfortunately it can also give kids the message to not stand up for themselves or their needs, or to communicate what they want and find important, which isn't the right way to go I think. So "If you don't ask, you don't get" is an important counter balance to that :)
Also, I'm so sorry to hear about you going through a tough time and having a fibromyalgia flare-up. Sending you a big hug, hopefully things will turn for the better again soon 🌹 Take care!
P.S. Yes! I watched Grave of the fireflies once, like 15 years ago, and it definitely does still stay with me, I can't even talk or think about it without crying haha.
Hello from Massachusetts, USA. Many thanks for this video. Funny, but when I was first watching, it seemed that the advice was really more suitable for young3r viewers. But, as I thought about it, a great deal of this inspired me, now age 82. (Not the period underwear, thank goodness! 😀).
Even words about job-related issues are equally applicable to just everyday life -- which is just another type of job. In the past few years, how many times I've felt I have lost that spark. Thankfully, it seems to be coming back, and I feel that your video came through at the perfect time. We all need the kind of encouragement you are offering, Vera. Keep on with your wonderful work --- and take as many breaks as you need to. I've been watching your videos since COVID. It is a joy to watch you learn and change. You have become a wise woman, and we are all the beneficiaries of that! ❤️😊
Aw thank you so much for the kind and encouraging words, I really appreciate that! 🤗💕 Thanks so much for being around here all this time, that's so special! Take good care!
Once, when I was 18 years old, I was complaining a lot about my life situation to my dad and he just said "well you chose it yourself". First I was so offended😅 Then i realised that it was so true, all the things I was complaining about was consequences of my own choises. I remind myself of this advice everytime I find myself frustrated - I take responsibility and remember I always have a choise to make changes for the better!😊
Oh I like it, a bit of tough love but very true and definitely very helpful too :)
For me the quote for Jim Carrey "Hope Walks Through the fire. Faith Leaps over it" as simple as it may sound. Completely changed my life from the ground up. I subconsciously lived through hope "hoping I get the job I want, hope I can pass whatever I'm doing, hope I get a good relationship" but that hope was doing nothing but holding me down, and I didn't even realise it until even after I stopped believe in hope..
I heard that quote Sat on it for a week, thinking about it a lot, and one day 2 hours into my shift, I quit my job and restarted my life, and have achieved so many things that i had "hoped" for for years... hope is a chain, Faith in yourself (not god) is freedom ♥
Wow, very inspiring! Thanks for sharing and congrats on all the wonderful changes!!!
About 10 years ago a mentor told me ”don’t be attached to outcomes”. In other words, set goals, yes, but also be open to how they unfold. If we try to control too much we most likeöy will miss unexpected opportunities and we wont be living in the present moment. Also, believe it or not I have a throw pillow that reminds me, ”Joy is in the Journey.
I'm so grateful for your advice and your existence, I used to write some of what you are saying and try to apply. I'm sixty, mostly double of your age 😊, but I learned a lot from you. Greetings from an Iraqi woman living in Virginia ❤
Aw thank you so much! 🤗🌱🌳
@@SimpleHappyZen
I'm so happy for your concern. Your reply made my day ❤
Thank you so MUCH, Vera! I am a lot older than you, but I am just making my first steps on the road to self care...so, I am very grateful to you for the wisdom you share with us! Everything you said in this and other videos resonates with me and helps to be on track.P. S. One very intelligent woman said, "Ask yourself if you are really happy, and depending on your positive or negative answer, start taking corresponding actions with a smile".
Thank you so much for your kind comment! So happy to hear you've been enjoying my videos and taking steps towards more self care🤗💕 Also love what she said, especially the part about doing it with a smile :)
The one about “Stop Trying “ is so true. There once was a time when I wanted to be someone’s friend so I tried very hard to make her like me. The harder I tried, the more she disliked me. I was driving her crazy! I finally wised up and completely backed off. Eventually we became friends. I was trying too hard.
Someone told me once that no one can use you as a doormat unless you allow yourself to be used as one. Self advocacy is important. Also there are 3 Chinese proverbs I love. 1-the strongest tree in the forest is the one that bends in the wind . 2- the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. 3- the strongest steel is forged by the hottest fire. I try to remember these when undergoing change.
It’s an abusive statement to a lot of people. Anyone abused as a child can easily get tricked into being a doormat again and they certainly don’t give permission
@@M_SC I was of those people when I was younger.
My wise old Dad has a habit of saying "I'm becoming a new leaf!" This is his corrupted version of the original phrase "Turning a new leaf" which really means turning a new page in life, just as one would turn a "leaf" (page) in a book. I like his version better! "I'm becoming a new leaf!" It is his way of saying that after the dead leaves fall off the tree of your life, you can become anything you want to be! The new leaves of spring don't look the same as the old leaves of fall and winter. You can become anything you want to be!
This is lovely and profound. Thank you for sharing this wisdom! Writing from the garden in Virginia.
I made a cup of peppermint cocoa on a grey Sunday, and relaxed and thooroughly enjoyed your video. Thank You Vera!
My Dad always said, “You always get paid more for your talent than your time.” It helped me really focus on the things I am good at and the ways I stand out in the world. I used these talents and skills to expect/demand a specialized salary or fee rather than just clocking in hours doing something anybody could do/ that required no special skills. Believe me, I have humbly done many hourly jobs because they needed to be done or because that was the work available to me at the time, but keeping my eye on opportunities to use my talents to garner better wages has helped greatly in the long run.
I could listen to you talk all day ❤ I love all these life lessons! A big lesson for me was learning to worry less about what other people think of me, and instead be the person I want to be
Thank you so much! And yes, that one is huge, so important :)
I have this quote from Maya Angelou on my wall "If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." I also live by "No matter where you go, there you are." And "It will be okay."
For the times when I find myself in a worry spiral, I have some CBT questions I review and they always seem to bring me back down to reality and center me, stopping the senseless worrying.
When I was a child and would get angry or upset I would tell my Mom I was going to run away, and her reply was always the same. "You can't run away from yourself." This has stuck with me all my life and made me realize that I have the power to change things for myself rather than just trying to run away from problems.
@@JanetJohnson-y6z That's very wise ❤️
Thank you for this video, Vera 🥰 "Be more self-accommodating" is one thing you mentioned that has been changing my life this year in big ways. Today, for instance, I know I need to limit my physical activity before the workweek begins, or I will start it off without energy. So, I will be stopping some activities midday and sitting and resting while other family members continue their activities, which I already told them about yesterday. I have to plan to preserve my well-being. I can't live exhausted anymore.
That is amazing, so happy for you!!!
These are my 3:
1. Love your neighbor as yourself. ( This is how I hope to move through life.)
2. Be slow to speak, and quick to listen.
3. The right one doesn’t come in your life when the wrong one is there. ( This has taught me to let people or relationships go and embrace the new ones that come my way!)
Great advice as always 😊
Grave of the Fireflies is one of those movies you watch once and never again
YES!!! I watched it once, around 15 years ago, not knowing what I was getting myself into. I'm glad I saw it but I'll never watch it again, and I kind of felt compelled to warn people about it haha.
@@SimpleHappyZen girl same! "You wanna cry buckets? Ok go for it"
#5 ask. Yes! I am heading up a fundraising banquet for a youth group. There is a lot of asking that goes into that and I just keep pushing through. The amount of people who have said yes and come alongside us, is so encouraging. None of these people would have come to me because they didn't know there was a need. If they'd said "no," I would have been where I began so nothing to lose.
I am retiring Oct.31st. I know I will feel untethered but looking forward to travelling and volunteering at the Zoo. I am also going to work on self care and time for myself. Not just being by myself but being more intentional with that time. You are helping me a lot with the process. Thank you. ❤️ from 🇨🇦
"Be as hard on yourself as you would be on a loved one in this situation"
This might have been mentioned, but one of my favorites that my Mom says is: "Where there is a will there is a way." In times of struggle or worry I simply sprinkle on a little relaxing and let go of any struggle and a way is found! Yep, magic.❤
Yes that is so true and such a comforting thought :) Definitely something a mom would say haha. :) Thanks for sharing!!
Really like what your coworker said to you. Give yourself a year. Thank you so much, Vera ❤❤.
Glad to hear it and to pass on their advice! 🤗🍵
❤ Tea & talk w Vera make every day better! Totally resonate with all. As a fellow HSP w more “life experience” I’ve learned to hold dreams lightly as they may not come true, but to follow your life goals with the perseverance of a marathon runner. For me, that is following Jesus in his will, joy, love, patience, forgiveness, gentleness, kindness, peace, faithfulness, and self control. These things will make me a better human, and although the journey may be a “scenic tour” instead of a straight line, ultimately my life will be a rich legacy and I won’t be crushed by the broken pieces of dreams, fears, anxieties, and disillusionments along the way. God bless you Vera for the light of your soul ❤
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and I'm happy you enjoyed the video and that the points resonated with you! 🤗🍵 Love what you said about life not being a straight line but rather taking the 'scenic route' 🌳 I think that's the way it often goes, and these unexpected surprises and detours can make it even more worthwhile
Whether to the right or to the left, you will hear God's voice behind you say, This is the way, walk in it.
I had a burnout too when I moved from a small company to a very big company. It was 5 years ago. The role was Product Manager. After I quit, I am never convinced to go back to a corporate job. I started freelancing as a social media manager. I feel so reassured to know I'm not alone.
I also feel a sense of calm while watching your videos, Vera.
That's so interesting, thank you for sharing! I sometimes feel a little unsure of what I should do if I had to (or someday wanted to) stop doing youtube, really not wanting to go back to the corporate world. So hearing there are others out there who have made freelancing work for them is really great :) Gives me hope :)
Vera your videos are warm hug.. love you so much.. I must say I love comments section if ur videos equally.. so beautiful and amazing like minded kind hearted souls.. Thanks for this extraordinary community and superlative content❤️
Aw thank you so much for your lovely comment! And yes, this channel's comments section is always amazing, this community is the best :)
I want to thank you for creating Simple Happy Zen ❤ I burned out in march, and this channel has been so helpful in my recovery ❤
Aw you're welcome! So sorry to hear about your burnout... Please remember to keep taking baby steps and take good care! Wishing you all the best for your recovery
Dear Vera, thank you so much for this video, especially for advice #6. Your talking about Kiki losing her magic due to trying too hard really made me cry, because I thought for a very long time this year that I lost my ability to write my novels while I was trying so hard to get something written. I finally took a break from writing (not being told by a friend like Ursula, but my husband), and just now I have the feeling that it slowly comes back to me - but I still need my beraks and I still need to take it slowly. I need to watch that movie.
You're so welcome, glad to hear that resonated with you. And your husband gave you some really good advice :) Definitely recommend giving Kiki a watch, it's so comforting, especially for creatives :) Also, there's another Studio Ghibli movie called Whisper of the Heart that deals with creativity and burnout, and this time specifically about writing. So maybe you'd love that one too. It's also really wonderful, plus there's a super cute romance and a fun cat hahaha.
In dealing with watching a sick parent getting older (anticipatory grief), or after they have passed away: "Loving someone is grieving for them while they're still here. Grieving someone is loving them after they're gone". Couple this with adding two little words to everything: "get to". I get to experience grief because I'm fortunate enough to have felt love.
Thank you so much for your genuineness. Your videos specially those about HSPs honestly has changed my self view and I am forever changed. you've opened my eyes and my heart. Deeply appreciate all your effort and videos. Much Love to you
Aw thank you for the lovely words!!!
Great advice. Waiting a year really resonated with me. Wish I had kept that in mind when I became a new mother, when my son was diagnosed with autism and when I took on a big promotion at work (both in the same year!) Now we have settled in and it doesn't feel like the chaos it once did.
My mantra lately is "don't borrow trouble." Can't remember where I heard it from but after a lifetime of anxiety it was just the tip I needed to stop worrying about the future. Through Zen practice I'm trying to focus on what's right in front of me.
Not sure if it counts as advice, but I once came across a phrase that changed my life: "Low self-esteem is, by definition, a false perception of oneself". For anyone out there struggling with their self-esteem, you are not alone and it can get better. Give yourself permission to see yourself differently 💚
Couldn't agree more about Grave of the Fireflies. Watched it years ago without knowing what I was getting myself into, never again 😅
Oh that does sound very helpful, thanks for sharing!! Also yes hahaha, I also watched it without noticing what I was getting into. There are other Studio Ghibli movies that are really sad, or at least have some sad moments, but this one just completely crushed you and leaves you broken 😅 I'm glad I watched it once, but I never will again.
I've prided myself on my tenacity, but I'm so tired of being a "human doing" in stead of a "human being." I like that you pointed out taking care of yourself and making your life a little easier and more comfortable is worth the investment and not something to be ashamed of. Big changes taking a whole year to acclimate to sounds wild to me. My life has been lived in such a whirlwind, taking a year to get used to something sounds like a luxury.
Kiki's Delivery Service is one of my favourite childhood movies. Ursula's advice is the best advice. I've doled it out to friends on many occasions. It's what I'm trying to do right now. To just let myself be and stop trying so very hard.
I look forward to your videos as a reminder to take a moment to remember to slow down and appreciate a hot cup of tea or similar. Thank you for the lovely thoughts, as usual.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, so fun to hear you also enjoy Kiki's delivery service and talk about its message with friends. :) Take care and have a wonderful day!
@@SimpleHappyZen
Sept - Dec best part of the year. Post-holidays, bare, droopy trees, rain, dark days and gray skies sort of suck. Would love an episode on how Netherlands handle that late winter pre spring stretch.
Hi there! I actually already have a video about that :) It's right here: th-cam.com/video/obOMhiT76jY/w-d-xo.html
I’m quietly crying as I watch this as I am just realizing I’m just so tired and need to pay attention and take care. You’re very inspiring and calming - blessings ❤️
I love it. You can change any time. I have needed this reminder. Thank you for a wonderful video. ❤
So glad you enjoyed it :) Have a lovely day!
Oh this was wonderful. Very much aligned with how I am making short and long term changes in my life even at 68years old. It would have been amazing to have had similar advice back when I was in my early adult life but that was not meant to be. So here I am and your advice is doable. Thank you
All of these are so important and yet we don't hear them often!
I could relate to all of them and in a similar pattern have helped me too 💯
Thanks for your video. One of my beliefs.. ‘it will work itself out!’ It allows me not to worry about it.. I will do what I can etc.. but not worry overly.. because it will work itself out.. one way or another.. and then I move onto the next thing I want to do… ❤
Very comforting, love that :)
"Speak your truth but with kindness." - The Dalai Lama. This has been really guiding me over the last years. I used to be quite the people-pleaser but lately I stepped back from it, slowly but surely. In the beginning I felt quite bad saying no to people and things and often invented little excuses which somehow made me feel worse. But the idea of saying it with kindness really changed everything. Whenever I am about to invent a little lie, I remember it and stop myself. Instead, I tell the truth but with kindness. :)
Love your advice, too! Especially the one from the movie of Studio Ghibli hit home! I found it on Netflix and I am so gonna watch it at the weekend! Thanks! :D
I have always been a huge worrier. My mom used to tell me not to barrow trouble. When I feel a spell of worrying come on I think about that.
Thank you for another wonderful video Vera! I have been at my job for 11 years now and for the past 2 years it's been really rough because of staff changes and times of being short staffed which made me be responsible for not only my job but another one as well. It has been really stressful and I've definitely been feeling burnt out. Your videos really helped me to remember to take the time to relax and leave work at work instead of taking it home. They are so comforting and eye opening to me in realizing that self care is very important and I have been trying to take the time for that!
Hi there! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I'm so sorry to hear about your job situation, I've worked several jobs where we were grossly understaffed and I had to always run, I know how hard it can be. I think it's great you're doing your best to leave work at work and to focus on self care. Take good care!
Hi Vera, my dad used to tell us “the squeaky wheel gets the grease”, and I know that sounds funny but I always rememberd that because it’s true you have to ask for what you want and so # 5 “there’s no downside to being assertive” resonated with me, he also used to say, “let sleeping dogs lie or don’t open a can of worms”, which meant that sometimes it’s better not knowing every little thing or rehashing problems from the past because it could bring us more stress and misery and we could regret pushing it. The old sayings have so much wisdom if we just stop and really think about it…. It was nice seeing your dad, he looks very kind 😊… do you look more like your mom? Great advice here Vera ✅
First yay! I LOVE Saturdays because of your videos! Thank you, Vera
Aw that's so nice to hear, thank you!! 🤗💕💕💕 Enjoy your weekend!
I like the first advice to not being bound by your past. I feel like my possessions and clothes are a part of my identity. When I declutter and let go, It's like a fresh start that gives the opportunity for something new. It's also easier to be flexible as a minimalist.
Thank you! Watching you is like therapy ❤ Blessings and love to you and all of us ❤
Thank you for the first advice, it comes really in time, because i've almost decided to completely change my profesіion!))
(Work advice) Treat each job like a stepping stone to where you want to be. I like this because it reminds me that there is value in where I am right now, rather than just thinking of the future.
Yes, it's all about the journey :) Thanks for sharing!
Thank you Vera, your caring and kindness is contagious, I truly appreciate your sharing and positivity ❤
I would like to take a moment of my Sunday and appreciate how amazing your video is. It is well thought out and very on point. As someone who has many big changes in life within less than two years I really appreciate this. 😊
Aw thank you so much for the kind words! Good luck with all the changes and take care!
The sad thing is many judge us when we evolve....family and friends do this at times. You should definitely do a Ted Talk!
Having just turned 50, i am definitely not the person I was yesterday. I have new hobbies and new friends. ❤🎉❤🎉❤
Thank you for these great reminders Vera. Your videos are a breath of fresh air in today's chaotic, loud, fast paced world 🫶
Yes to Studio Ghibli life lessons, Vera! Love your videos alwaysss. Stay safee
Great advice as usual and yes some people see it as not sticking with things but i call it experiencing new things and views 🙂
Yes! Sticking with things can have benefits and sometimes it's good, but not always. It's up to us to see the difference :)
This too shall pass - everything changes
These are such great points, thank you Vera. My mum used to tell me something similar to your dad. She'd say, "you don't ask, you don't get". I know she wanted me to be more assertive and believe in myself 😊
I was given the same advice as you regarding it taking time to adjust to a new job. There were layoffs that were starting at the company I had worked at for years and years so I had to go to a new department - it took me a long time to adjust to a new role that I had zero experience in. I really need to watch Kiki's Delivery Service!! Your advice in this video is wonderful.
Ah yes that sounds like it can be challenging at times, definitely something to take some time to get used to. Also yes to watching Kiki's Delivery Service!! :) If you do, tell me what you think :)
Thank you for your advice! Change is very possible for the better. Leave the past behind.Nothing is set in stone. Make things easier for you. Self focus self care. Embraced the slow life and a slow gradual living lifestyle especially in retirement. You have the freedom to use your own time however you like at your own pace. Health is wealth! Choose to prioritise yourself! Healing takes time and effort. Que sera sera whatever will be life goes on....
Second yay!! 👋 Thank you Vera, I love your videos, thank you. Have a superb weekend xx ❤
Yay, thank you so much! 🤗🌱🍵 You have a great weekend too!
Hey Vera, wat je zegt zet me weer even terug naar wat belangrijk is. Erg waardevol, bedankt 🙏☀️
Dankjewel, fijn om te horen :) Fijne week toegewenst!
I appreciate how you make learning feel so easy!
These are some good nuggets I'll keep in mind ❤
Your channel is my safe space ❤ loved your tips.
Each point is such wise advice⭐️. Loved seeing your pictures; you are always beautiful (then & now). Thanks for all you do 🌸
Thank you so much, so happy you enjoyed the video! 🤗🍵 Take care!
This video has soothed my soul a bit and has given me hope after burnout
Thank you
What a lovely and very inspiring video! Just what i needed. Thank you!!
I have advocated cups for about 15 years! My first cup lasted 11 years! I love period panties!! They are so helpful with leaks during my period.
It has been a long long long time since I last saw Kiki's Delivery Service. The first time I did was in the 90s and it was cute! I've seen every Ghibli film. I have only seen Grave of Fireflies ONCE back in 2001, because I sobbed so much afterwards. It really is the saddest movie ever.
i use and love the mantra, "not now dear" ;->
Vera, love the rings you’re wearing.
Ah thanks! There's from Ana Luisa :) I've had them for years
@@SimpleHappyZen Thanks for sharing that ❤
Sooooooo goooood and much needed advice❤😊
@@imlv2614 🤗🌱🍵
❤ Happy SENSATIONAL SATURDAY! Good to see you beautiful VERA in the NETHERLANDS! You are a breath of fresh air. I pray for you 🙏 to be blessed and safe. KATIE ❣️ KENTUCKY😊!