Hope this video help those who are in the dating field. Do you have other tips that aren't mentioned in the video? [EDITED] There is a typo in the video. Let see if you're paying attention to our video :P. Watch next 6 Green Flags on Dating You Should Know th-cam.com/video/ojz5i4yI3xw/w-d-xo.html
“My grandmother once told me never fall in love with the ones who give you butterflies, because butterflies are a sign of uncertainty and you find your self asking, do they like me? Instead fall in love with someone who makes you feel safe, calm and warm, that’s who you fall in love with.”
I had that once. she made me feel safe and calm in her warm hug, but we split up and I lost contact with her after certain unfortunate events that didn't involve her. Now I have no way of contacting her, and ever since its been hard to find someone in person like that. I mean also COVID and all makes it certainly more difficult to find that and also the fact I don't got a means of transportation yet.
@Every Single Average Day that generalisation of a gender might be why you're still single, just a guess. I've seen guys chase that feeling too, maybe if we can get our pop culture and our priorities to stop romanticising the butterfly feeling and prefer the safe haven getting, we could get somewhere useful in life. But as with everything, gotta start with ourselves.
“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.” -Robin Williams
@@vigobox1 Add Indian accent 🇮🇳 "Hello guys, this is Ahmed Gupta tutorials and today we on this channel show you step by step tutorial to help you get date"
My biggest advice: Find someone who you don't always feel pressured to entertain. If you're able to just chill in a quiet room with them, are able to do your own thing without the pressure of feeling like you HAVE to talk to them, then you guys are already a fairly good match. The reason I say this is because most people have a "recharge" phase, where you recover from being drained of energy. If you're still able to spend time with them DURING your "recharge" phase, you found a pretty compatible partner.
I don’t completely agree. I like the first half of what you said. But for me personally, I need isolation to fully recharge, so I can’t be around anyone if I want to reset myself, whether my girlfriend or anyone else
@@LobitaSpaumeadora You missed my point. This has nothing to do with attraction, this is all about compatibility. Whether that's a romantic partner or a good friend, this is basically just to see if two people can get along.
@@micahhoffman3519 That's fair. Everyone "recharges" in their own way. Just like how some people like to talk things out right after a fight, or prefer to sleep it off till morning. Only you know what's best for yourself~
@@LeedleLee457 ah sorry the video is about dating so I thought you were talking only about it but tbh I'm comfortable with all my friends and some of them even distanced themselves from me idk why lol
A good friend once reminded me: Relationships aren't like movies, like, at all. They'll be many MANY moments where you are awkward, uneasy, embarrassed, or have said the complete wrong thing. Life isn't scripted - its impossible to have the perfect line all the time, and it happens to everyone. If you ever make a mistake in a relationship or do something you thought was stupid, don't worry, it happens to everyone, and to both sides of the relationship. Chances are in a few days you'll feel perfectly normal again. It will be hard to stop thinking about what happened, but with time you will stop caring. (This is coming from someone who just messed up a few days ago - and now I feel fine.) If your partner and you can move on from such occasions with ease, you know you're into the right person.
@@marksherrit5874 I know it can often seem like that but remember that whoever you are on a date with won't notice many of the things you perceive yourself as awkward, because it's way easier to think and worry about what you said yourself than think or care about what someone else said.
My issue isn't bad dates, it's that I can't get any dates. I don't know how to meet people, and when it seems like I might be able to ask someone out, something happens that makes it not work. I thought I was picking up hints from someone then found out they have a boyfriend already. I asked someone else out and they said yes then got bronchitis then wasn't interested anymore. Things like that. And then some of my friends tease me for my lack of success, and that just hurts.
It’s all good bro, just gotta be confident and keep trying. We’ve all had our fair share of issues and rejection, but if it was easy it would just be boring and shallow. You just gotta chill out and not care what their response is when you ask. Dont think about it because there is nothing to think about. Just ask a question and move on, it’s really that simple. At the end of the day if they say no or if something happens, you didn’t lose anything, it was their loss
First off, your friends are awful, when a bro needs a wingman you don't put him down, instead you get kidnapped by ninjas so he can rescue you in front of his date, like wingman should. Secondly, don't be hard on yourself, shit happens, it sucks, take the time to heal. but you gotta get back up on your feet and try again. Dating is a numbers game, we get rejected more than we succeed (unless you're an absolute Adonis or lying), that's just math. So keep working on yourself, be the best version of yourself you can be and keep trying. It may take a while, and it will hurt sometimes. But you can do it, bro.
I've been there. A couple of things I've learned: a relationship can only improve, or diminish happiness, it won't give you happiness itself, so you need to learn to be happy (at least a little) while single. Desperation will turn off all women, except the wrong ones. Finally, understand that there are things worse than being single, please learn this from me, so you don't have to learn it first hand. Learn what are red flags, and watch for them (this will actually help you too, women are actually more attracted when they sense that they are also being evaluated for worthiness).
“Just because your date doesn’t like Star Wars as much as you, doesn’t mean they can’t be the perfect match” How many other lies have I been told by the council?
I spent time watching Soy Luna, Ana de las Tejas verdes, Liv and Maddie, The Simpson’s, read multiple bibles, listen to old people, watch my dysfunctional family, went to school in different places, heard old people that at this point watching Star Wars is a waste of time because they would just keep saying the same stuff I already learned so thanks. For some reason I thought it was a quality when it wasn’t.
@@nellucthegreat I’m an immigrant who had no idea what Star Wars was and the schools I went into in America were raised on it. I thought I wouldn’t be like or accept it for it, I agree with the comment 😅
The best advice my ma gave me is “don’t take away someone else’s right to choose” meaning if you find flaws in yourself don’t hide those flaws, let the other person decide if they can live with those flaws or not.
I am flat and I can imagine it can be a problem for a lot of guys if we were to get together. So I would often make jokes about it and try to introduce it before we'd want to get deeper into a relationship. It was kinda funny and awkward with my boyfriend though and he still can't really accept it. I mean not like he is going to break up with me or it is that big of a problem, but this little flaw I have actually allows me to make the right judgements about people's feelings. I mean, yes, it would definitely be a nice bonus, but also, there he is, tolerating it, because he has no other choice. He loves me the way I am. So much so that he will even tolerate this despite his preferences. You are certainly right and it is not even that hard to do. Especically when you turn your flaw into your stength. It also allows you to make yourself feel better since you dont ever need to worry about accidentally revealing these flaws. This kind of stress should never be in a healthy relationship.
Agree 👍 as you hide your flaws to be loved you will have to keep hiding them for the rest of your life, which it's mentally draining, not to mention that you wouldn't be loved for who you are but would be loved the person that you pretend to be
If you are being ghosted by a male or female look at it as a positive it’s for a reason that person isn’t your person and who would want to date somebody that’s not consistent universe step it always reason for things happening 🙏🏻❤️
Best dating advice: Throw away your list of what you're looking for and focus on being who you should be. Yes, I found the love of my life that way, we spent 20 years together before she passed. Now I'm focused on being the right man, should a 2nd right woman ever come along.... and if she doesn't, at least I'll be becoming the best version of myself.
I clicked on this then realized I was getting ahead of myself; this is for people IN the dating world, not sad idiots who have literally never gotten into it even once...
ALOT, if not all, dating advice and dating coaches seem to miss that. Coach: Remember back in High School... Me: uh, No? Coach: Let me finish! Me: Sir, I never dated in High School! Coach: What? FINE, college then. Me: Nope. School full time, and worked 25 to 30 hours per week at a grocery store to pay for it. Plus it was an engineering program at a Community College. No women attended that program. Coach: The weekends then. Me: I'm in the national guard. The weekends I'm not at drill, I'm working the store remember? Coach: At work then. Any women interest you there? Me: Sir, I work construction, there are no women. Put on a hardhat and tool belt, and I'll show you.
Hey a little advice from someone who was just like u but is now 'in the dating world', find something creative you genuinely love and are passionate about. Be authentic and don't worry what others think so much bcuz ppl find that really attractive. Don't watch any dating coaching videos on TH-cam because people in real life aren't as simply as that, and you've just gotta let it go naturally, don't chase too much. And get out there. Ik it can be scary it was for me but when u meet ppl who like the same stuff as u it's such a great feeling. You're only a sad idiot for as long as you believe you're one. And for someone else to love you, you need to love yourself first.
@@WhiteScorpio2 that's why I followed it with meeting ppl who have similar interests to you. I.e. going to clubs bout things u like or gay bars or church idfk I'm antisocial af but it worked for me. Basically what I mean is being open, and happy with yourself and your appearance. I hated my face for years, dyed my hair red put on tons of makeup even tho I'm a boy. And my social anxiety has straight up disappeared
There's a book called Casanova Playbook of Magnetism, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts, it's the real deal
Dark mind tricks are nonsense. Do you really want to manipulate to get something? Guess you don’t want to really meet the soul of another person and let love evolve naturally.
1. Respect 2. Allow intimacy to progress naturally 3. Don't limit yourself to one type 4. Communication is Key 5. Focus on who you are now 6. Don't alter who you are 7. Don't control the conversation 8. Be with someone for the right reasons
Just remember to not be addicted to having a bf/gf. You also have to be comfortable being with yourself Edit: who said any of you had to be in a relationship one day or another?
I think you can simultaneously love yourself and feel alone alone. Some of the comments make it seem it's either one or the other; You either love yourself and are content or don't and feel miserable. I love my company but am at an age where I love to share things with someone else, and being alone does not allow me to do that. You can also simultaneously grow and better yourself with somebody else. It is all very individual, really.
I agree completely, I travelled alone for almost a year and I'm a natural extrovert, making friends was easy...But I'd rather share those memories with someone who will always (in theory) be around and can help me grow even more. If you've been in love before you'll remember how it feels. No amount of self-development or self-love can replace or equal the feeling of unconditional love you get from a partner.
Meh, i would have something to say about it. Yea,sure, it's probably caused by my gigantic pessimism, but i can't see that and think that's reasonable. I've been the best in my class for 5 years, nothing. I've been average in other things, nothing. Let's just be honest with ourselves and understand that if you're not cute you're not going to achieve anything about this matter.
“Just because your date doesn’t like Star Wars as much as you, doesn’t mean they’re not the perfect match” YOU WERE LIKE A BROTHER TO ME, PHYCH2GO, I LOVED YOU
A lot of these tips can also be applied to making normal friendships as well. My tip, not that I feel qualified to give one, is to not overthink it. This can be hard, but feeling loose during social interactions will make things go better. Like stretching before a run.
"While some of us think our perfect partner will meet our criteria..." My criteria: -Be a woman -Be human (Optional) -Have the capacity of thinking -Dont want to kill me(Optional)
Perfect dating advice: DON'T try to look for a relationship on purpose. Edit: Pay attention to the wording, people. I typed "relationship", not "love". There is just that notion that you must get a gf/bf and that it's a catastrophy if you haven't, even if you don't love them. In fact if you do that - you WILL miss your love. That's what I meant by not looking for a relationship on purpose. Instead of this, you should be on a mild lookout: pay attention to your acquaintances, there might be someone special among them, someone you'd spend your whole life around. If you found that person, start hanging out with them, you will grow closer, and this is when and how you become a pair. And even if there is no such person yet, they will appear as you meet new people. You just have to uphold your standards. That or... you can just keep rolling the dice in the dating apps and hope for the best.
Unironically this is very true Even though I've never dated anybody, the people I've felt closest to have always came along when I wasn't looking for anyone
Was going to say that myself. Every time I tried to chase a relationship, it didn't work. When you allow it to happen naturally, it's way easier and there's a good chance you will end up with someone who is good for you.
The problem with me is: I don't get to know many people, because I study Pharmacy, so I have very little time for... getting to know people on a deeper level :( I have lost my confidence and "game", and I honestly don't feel like going through all the trouble to find someone that can be interested in me. I also just feel like no girl notice me. I have honestly started giving up when it comes to love but I really wish I could just accidentally find that one person who will like me back the way I like them :(
I met my gf during class (okay 66% of my education (biomedical engineering) consists of girls so big playing field). So reach out to some people who you share class with, create study groups and see if you click with someone. Good luck!
It was the same for me, but trust me there are no accidents... And the extra issue is as you get older, the window of people available slowly closes, plus if your goal is to eventually start a family, then women in your age range slowly but surely get more and more infertile... Then you have to date younger people, and it gets even harder because you can be seen as a creep especially nowadays, and if you weren't successful when they were your age, how could you be now...
What I can say about this is focus on your goals instead of trying to find a girl right now. Be yourself and explore your interests, one good way to get practice is if you work somewhere that serves or caters food with girls as your co workers then play around with them. Get your chin up and leveled with your chest puffing out a little then start with little compliments with what you notice they have. I found it easier to talking with the quiet ones since I was also a quiet one before and I kinda had an idea of what to say and such. If you havent yet, then start working out. It doesnt have to be complex, it can be as simple as jogging every morning for 8 mins or doing 10 push ups everyday. You can then work your way up as you learn and get stronger. Lastly get that 8-9 hour sleep, if it means dropping your games to make time for that sleep do it, it will be worth it in the long run. Enjoy your grind, be patient about it, nothing comes easy in life.
@@warlord302slayer3 "focus on your goals instead of trying to find a girl right now" I disagree, it's been 7 years since I dated. But I sure am in the exact place in life that I want to be in otherwise, you know what would have been great? To have shared the experience of the rollercoaster of getting there with someone else. I absolutely should have tried to paired off with the several high quality women who I managed to attract in college by being an authentic slightly ambitious nerd. The thing I needed was to find a place to be out socially and literally a basic game-plan of like "ask if single -> invite to art museum on campus, expand to walk if going well, get snack -> 2nd date -> decide if should continue dating or not." But I will say, "you attract who you are" when I was a high school dropout good women rejected me but miserable one's flocked to me and when I improved and went to college that flipped: the unhealthy physically/emotionally/mentally/etc self selected away from me and the good ones sought to connect. So I would only say work on yourself if you are getting rejected by the women you want and are only attracting the wrong kind of women. (Although if wrong is something like "ambitious girls when you just want to vibe", you need to change how you present yourself)
Only Dating Advice You’ll Ever Need: 1. The most important thing? Respect 0:41 2. Allow intimacy to progress naturally 1:08 3. Don’t limit yourself to one type 1:42 4. Communication is key 2:15 5. Focus on who you are now 2:46 6. Don’t alter who you are 3:11 7. Don’t control the conversation 3:43 8. Be with someone for the right reasons 4:08 I hope that I, a time traveler, could help! ❤️
Just talk to them like you would anyone, with respect. Trust me, they don't rlly care if you say something dumb or embarassing. Hopefully this helped?? Unless ur joking idk
Here’s some advice from a certified femal human lol. Biggest one is to be nice and approachable. Also, know what you like in a girl so you can see which ones you know you immediately wouldn’t like. If there’s 5 girls in your school or area that are interesting you, just try to talk to them a bit or maybe do some team work with them. Just a lot of simple stuff, like doing a group project, saying good morning. Once you feel like you’ve established yourselves as friends, find her snap and send her something funny like a meme or something. Getting someone’s snap is easier than getting their number. Don’t do pickups yet since you’re still fiends in this situation. If she responds with another meme or something or at least she responds then you’re on the right track. Try to get closer friend wise and maybe hang out with her friends super casually and send her more memes or something. Just try to be chill and be good friends. From that point on, you could go further if she seems interested, like going to dinner or the movies together. Worst case scenario (which is honestly a good scenario) you have a new friend that has a lot in common with you
@@omni8568 I have this anxiety problem where if I pass people or they pass me and look at me for more than a second I instantly think they are judging me, so I stay far away and avoid eye contact with pretty much everyone
One thing I always tell myself is: "I wanna be in a relationship to share my happiness, not to gain my happiness." And I think it's an good healthy way of wanting to go into a relationship. (When I meet someone atleast, haha) Just thought maybe someone needed to hear this sentence.
1. The most important thing? Respect 0:47 2. Allow intimacy to progress naturally 1:11 3. Don't limit yourself to one type 1:41 4. Communication is key 2:16 5. Focus on who you are now 2:48 6. Don't alter who you are 3:12 7. Don't control the conversation 3:46 8. Be with someone for the right reasons 4:09
I'm watching this video in retrospect of my first foray into dating. My first girlfriend, as much as I loved and respect her, was someone who was very stuck in her own past and often refused to help herself. Pretty much every conversation we had eventually became her chance to shittalk her exes and people in her family, and I often had to deal with her complaining about her stalkers and refusing to do anything about them. She dug her own holes and then got upset that she forgot a ladder. We were also MUCH too similar, to the point where a lot of the time she knew way more about my interests than I did. Our conversatioms were fun, yes, but I rarely ended up learning anything new. Because of her past problems, she was very afraid of intimacy. She would always talk about doing things with me, but when we went out together, she shied away from physical contact, which is my love language. I understood why she was like this (I was apparently the first person she dated who wasn't a piece of shit) but I still couldn't help but feel like I was doing something wrong. I have autism, so I struggle with communication, but I tried to make my intentions as clear as possible and yet it never seemed to change much. She would always hold me at arm's reach. I walked her home every other day but even then, she'd leave me at a street corner and never let me come over or even know where she lived. We were together for 6 months. We broke up a couple of months ago. Every time I would mention my issues with her, she would deflect them back onto me and say I simply wasn't trying hard enough. She had a friend in her ear lying about me and trying to convince her that I wasn't worth it, and that, combined with the fact that I get sick and sleep a lot, led to her distrusting me way more than she had any reason to. We both decided that it was our best option to separate but remain friends, and to this day we're still close pals. She claims to still be obsessed with me and wants me to try again because she knows better now, but nothing could repair the fact that I simply just didn't feel that way anymore. I've been talking to another girl, someone who I feel matches the energy that I need to balance out my own. Not someone identical to me, someone who I can still learn more from, but not someone so far detached from my interests. I'm a fairly shy, submissive guy, so in order to balance that out, I'm in need of a more confident woman, and I feel like I've found one this time around. If anyone sees this, please wish me luck, and thank you for reading. Have a great day, whereever you are.
Although it’s true that the advice of “Be Yourself” is a bit overused, it’s true. Although a person CAN get into a relationship by pretending to be someone they’re not, any relationship formed this way is likely to be unhealthy. On the other side, it’s okay to want to impress someone, but it’s best to do it by being the best version of yourself, instead of someone else. Thanks for reading, and please take care of yourself. ❤️
Then again, "myself" is a nerd who loves to sit at his PC eating unhealthy food. I got told quite often I need to change such habits if I want to meet somebody. Or even more, want a chance of somebody actually being attracted to me.
@@gehteuchnixan3052 I suppose I’d agree that eating healthy is important, but I think your nerdiness and pc passion don’t need to change entirely. I don’t even think your junk food habit is terrible. Practiced in moderation, I think these are all qualities that you should be okay with having. If you want to be a better you, then I think that’s fine, but I hope you don’t want to be someone else entirely.
"Be Yourself" maybe overused but like you said, its true. It does help, your words and this video really helped me. Just lately been feeling like nobody wants me, everyone just wants the bad guy. But every now and then I run into comments and videos like this and it brings my spirit up, makes me feel a bit better.
@@kawaiipockychu1182 my last relationship did same thing, it started out. "I love how you are yourself, I love that your spontaneous." A year and a half passes. "I don't like how you can be, I don't like the things you do." We broke up and walked our separate ways. Haven't dated anyone since that happened, what made this even worse it was on my birthday.
Something i have learned from a friend's relationship and watching it unfold: You cannot fix a problem a person has with themselves,they have to do it. You can help along the way, but they need to do the work themselves. You are not their therapist, you can be there for them in good and bad times, but sometimes professional help is needed and it's fine for you to say that you can't really help with the actual solution.
I need to say this: DO NOT, and I repeat DO NOT accept to be in a relationship with someone that doesn't really interests you just because you felt it was cute for someone to ask you. It might work, but at least ask them to try knowing each other more. I can not tell you the amount of times a girl asked me out and I felt it was so cute i said yes, just for me to realize I'm not invested in this relation and I now have to break it to them
I broke up with my first love a few months ago, and I made almost every mistake in this video. I rushed and didn't let intimacy to progress naturally, I controlled our conversations with all kinds of story without asking about her feelings. I tried to get back with her, and she also tried, but we just can't. I was still a child in love, while she wanted a more "mature" relationship. I has been holding on a tiny hope, but I supposed I have to stop, because she seems giving up. To her : Thank you for being my first love. From the bottom of my heart, I hope you'll find a better man and live happily
I'm currently on that stage with a girl I like (who has admitted that she likes me) and my friends keep trying to pressure me to "go firther" even though she even told them that she's not ready.
"Just because your date doesn't like Star wars as much as you, doesn't mean that you can't be the perfect match" *Sorry, but you can't UNconvince me that "hello there" is a pick up line*
Part of me wants to offer my heart to someone wholeheartedly but there's also a part of me who doesn't want to trust people and has no confidence when it comes to dating
This is just me when it comes to relationships in general, not even romantic ones. I don’t tell my parents anything despite them constantly saying that I can trust them, but I just can’t. I just got rejected by the first girl I actually really liked, and my mental state got hit hard, and it’s actually a little bit pathetic, how I let one person do that to me, but it still hurts like hell
@@buttercat2718 Oh my kindred brother. That rejection haunted me for years and it fckng sucks it was so pathetic. I'm fine with friends tho but romantic ones nah.
I fell in love with my partner starting off as friends. I think when you are close with someone before becoming romantic it makes things even more special as they begin to evolve. I have felt my gaze shift from one that was friendly and happy to be with someone i could have fun with, to seeing how beautiful the person was in front of me. Every day I was shown how beautiful their soul was and they helped me to improve myself as well as others. Find someone that will help build you up along with them, someone who will grow with you, intertwined like vines on a tree
Same here, I'd been friends with him for 3 years, similar classes and such. Then, one day his humour struck a chord in me, I texted him thanks for brightening my day and 3 months later I asked him out... we've been dating for 4 months now and yeah, similar interests are wonderful but maturity, comfort, respect and communication are vital to any relationship. Don't go for the butterflies, go for the warmth and comfort.
As I get older I only find myself getting more jaded by life. Still quite young at 25, but I never expected to hate most things this much growing up. The soft voice of the video felt like it grounded me for once, in a while.
I would understand that being in difficult situations and having horrible experiences. It's odd to explain difficult parts of life to people who haven't experienced it yet. Coming out of similar circumstances, I tried to reflect on the positives in a day over the negatives. There were more positives! It's strange how the bad overflows the good emotionally. However, I think every person has a certain way they look at life as well.
Hey man, me too. I'm 19, but I feel increasingly dissociated with reality. I just feel like I've already wringed out the majority of joy out of life and there isn't much left. Hopefully I can look back at this comment one day and say that things have changed for the better.
@@shosnow6824 Don't mean to jump in again, but I'm sorry you're experiencing that. I have not had that sense of dissociation from reality, but have had some traumatic situations. I would say time and having that desire/motivation to change brings things into a lighter direction. Having the determination to get out of a bad cycle. Always looking ahead and not reminiscing on the past too much. Although that is so hard to do! Anyway, I hope something pops into your life where it's a positive change
I've been single for 12 years before I met my partner - for all these years I just never met a man who showed interest in anything other then a physical relationship. Or that's what it seemed to me. At some point I noticed that my conversational skills were kind of one sided. So I started reading books about small talk, actively listening to people and leading a conversation. I met my partner a few months later in a discotheque when he invited me for a drink. At that point I had already spent several months training talking to complete strangers so I started talking even though he fell through several of my partner-criteria including age difference and educational background. However I agreed to a date - and another and another and another being immensely impressed by his patience and determination. We’ve been a couple for a long time now and I only found out very recently that prior to our first meeting he also read advice books on dating and women. Long story short: look for advice, read books, improve yourself. And most of all: show real interest in other people.
I asked my brother and his girlfriend if they actually have any shared interests and they said no. So yes, I can confirm that your ideal partner can be someone who doesn't have the same hobbies as you. Even my cousin said that having someone who's the opposite of you can make things more fun.
To me that seems like it would just lack foundation to actually build and maintain the relationship on. What bound them together? Just physical attraction alone? Things like not cheating on (unless you agree to open relationship), abusing, lying to or disrespecting each other are essential and great, but also more passive. I cant see those things bringing people genuinely close in the first place I can get having the majority of interests and tastes different from each other, but I cannot get not even sharing one genuine interest and still be actually close.
Best dating advice I ever received was to live like it’s just going to be you from here on out. The chances of finding someone you want to be with who wants to be with you is so phenomenally small as to be non-existent. If someone does come into your life, treat it like the miracle it is, not the expectation. And if they don’t stick around, well it was never in the plan anyway, so you can’t get too upset about it.
Exactly man. You can expect to find all of your happiness in someone else. Granted, relationships are wonderful, but you can truly love someone unless you love yourself. If you can love yourself enough to move on then you can't ever really be in a good, healthy relationship otherwise.
Well that's horrible advice. There's ~50 million potential dating candidates and you're saying it's a MIRACLE if one of them comes into my life? Especially when 90% of people around me have partners??? Dating is in human nature, everyone does it, it's not a miraculous thing that only happens to certain people. You're gonna be alone forever
@@ethan1937 What OP said about was just a mindset to help you lower your expectations and make you feel more grateful for what you have been given. Instead of just treating it like something that was meant to be yours. As I said, it's just a mindset and has nothing to do with reality. For eg, one can be given the whole world's worth of wealth and still be dissatisfied, or one can be given just a penny and still be extremely grateful for it. Now it's your choice to make, which one you want to be...
I'm gonna add one more thing: don't overstrategize. Emotions are inherently Irrational, like faith and beliefs. You can't use Rational reasoning for Irrational things.
That's one part of myself I've been working on recently. I'm a logical thinker first and foremost, so trying to rationalize things just comes with the territory. But there are many things in life that just don't make sense, nor do they have to. Just gotta roll with the punches sometimes
@@derdimi927 well its a made up human emotion, like a chemical in the brain that causes specific parts of it to go off causing that feeling you get towards a person, ever heard of butterflies in your stomach?, or like a buzz in your head? Its really just our bodys telling us "hey this is a good thing" so we go after the person and if that person is into you then you get love, simple really but still hard to grasp, then again everything emotionally is made up
I’m in 8th grade, it’s around the end of the year and this boy that I started to like, liked me back. I’m so scared of the dating realm since I’m so young, but I’ve always wanted this and I’m really happy TH-cam is such a reliable source.
From my perspective, I don't recommend dating someone in 8th grade, because you both aren't as mature yet, I would wait until you're a Junior or Senior because it can help make the relationship last, but of course you can still try and date them if you want, it's just that, don't expect it to last, you both are very young still.
Best advice I could get based on my experience; stop searching. You'll know the right people (same applies for friends) naturally. If you are so lonely that you feel some sort of "need" for a partner, searching for one is not the right approach, focus on being happy by yourself first or maybe try to make some friends first.. trying to find someone to "make you happy" is a pretty unhealthy way of living.
I feel like “myself” doesn’t work for relationships. That I’m not “relationship material”. That I /have/ to be someone completely different to actually have success. But that’s not possible, so… My therapist says that I’m not giving myself a chance and that I can be too hard on myself. And so I have been thinking about trying casual dating. Thanks for the tips!
Same... I told my friend that 'I don't think I have the personality for relationships', lol, she said don't worry, I'll quote that at your wedding so I guess it goes to show there is always at least one person who believes in you XD
While the whole "Be yourself" thing is true, it's just not realistic to air everything about yourself the second you meet someone. I think a more accurate saying is "Be yourself enough" -- enough that the person catches a glimpse of who you really are, but doesn't necessarily see all your worst habits and quirks. Don't be fake, but showcase the good attributes you have. If both of you feel like a connection is forming, then little by little, let your freak flags fly. Find someone who accepts the "good" you, and if things go well, they'll surely accept the "bad" you. Hope that makes sense.
Different people love different things, it's a given that someone will love the " Not relationship material" You are and feel more relaxed and happy with you, you know how bueaties get together and weirdos get along too, so be yourself and love yourself and I'm sure that they will be someone to love you too
I used to think this too. But then i started dating someone and even tho that relationship is over, I've learnt a few thing about myself and that it was all just in my head. Good luck with your love life 💙 Also for the "be yourself" tip take it lire as a "don't lie". For example don't change your opinion on something coz you think your date will prefer that answer. Take care💙
The most frustrating things are (to me) is the women that that I am NOT interested in are the ones that will want me and they make it very clear and the women that I do want, I don't make an effort because of uncertainty. Those women will not let it been known that they are interested so unfortunately it is a lose lose situation
@@daddada2984 Yes, even that. Especially that. Being honest to yourself about how you feel will allow you to move on. The truth is that you're not just grieving the end of your relationship. You're also grieving the loss of your *idea* of your relationship. Speaking from experience, the latter is way harder to confront than the former. It's way harder to recognize and it's way harder to come to terms with. The first stage of grief is denial. It is important to accept that your ex has moved on, but it's doubly so to accept that you yourself have not. While you'll only have to see your ex in real life maybe a couple times ever (if that), your emotions and you are tethered, forever bound together for the rest of your life. As my ma once said, you may *feel* like you can't live without her, but you sure as HELL ain't livin' without yourself. So you better make living with yourself be something worth living for. That's why it's important for you to begin to process how you feel, so you may sooner become at peace with and love yourself. Lying to yourself prevents all that (out of sight out of mind amirite?) and must be avoided at all costs.
I got over it by forcing myself to socialize over and over again it was very hard and i got nervous time and time but soon it went away and now i dont have social anxiety. Hopes this helps sorry if it doesnt
@@miguelviola7264 my friend told me that they are probably thinking the same and not really paying attention to anyone else. also, if u do something embarrassing (ex: messing up a word or number on a presentation in class) they more than likely won’t remember it bc they have other stuff going on in their life. that helped me
I had a car accident in 2004 and I'm forced to use a wheelchair. I'm normal, I can't just move my legs. Now I'm 21 years old and I've never had a girlfriend or a kiss. I've never cuddled either. It just hurts.
I think the more you learn about dating, especially by experience, the less you care about dating itself and you will only put effort on it when it feels right, like basically everything seems favourable, more driven by excitement than fear of being single and rejected. Dating for the sake of dating can be self-destructable.
I wish more people took this advice to heart, the worst bit about dating is how superficial it is and all the stupid games that are being played... Sometimes I wish we knew in advance who we're compatible with and who's worth our time and energy. It's exhausting...
I personally never liked the idea of randomized dating, I think all the best relationships start with friendship and built feeling overtime. Although dating random people in bars seems interesting, I always would perfer getting to know them on a friend level before moving to dating.
I am currently friends with a girl. We met in a university theatre production in 2019. Our interactions have been increasing ever so slightly since 2020. And I definitely want to date her. I am a recent graduate with a master's degree. I am waiting to get a job and finally be financially independent. I will ask her out once I have a job. And yes, being friends first is definitely the way to go. I am old school in that sense.
@@ravirajyaguru5905 bro, my advice is not to wait. As a man, I used to think having a job would make me more attractive, but the truth is that girls that like you won't care if you have a job or not. You might feel: ah but I need to provide for her etc etc. Yes, it is natural, but I have destroyed one of my best relationships because of this feeling and it isn't worth it imo. However, cultural considerations might mean it helps the parents be more accepting of you, and that might be true.
I just lost my special someone and we have a kid. I failed by being toxic and not being there for them. Now that she’s left I’m left in shambles for not always being the best person. Don’t take your person for granted. I did
If you would phrase your feelings differently and more professionally, your partner might not realize that you hate the food she prepared. You could also give criticism for improvement. What i think when i read the comment: 😂
I cant even try these things because a women already rejects me for a date. I am 31 year old have been single my whole life. Not because I want to. Because of every womem rejected me. And no women eber showed interest in me. Never a hug, a kiss or a realationship. Hell not even a date. If its involuntary its no easy life.
Impprtant advice: steer away from emotionally or psychologically troubled folks. You can be friends and support them but dating someone that has serious unsolved issues and no intention of seeking therapy is literally the worst. To be more specific, this kind of relationship puts you in the position of becoming the only responsible for their well-beind and mental health, making you feel pressured to make immense sacrifice that almost never gets back in any form... and it forms also codepence and a bunch of other problems. In short, someone who's drowning can and will pull you down with them unless you are a certified professional.
Wish I saw this comment like a year ago, got involved in a relationship with someone like this, it was too much for me, and I actually didn't like them that way at all, so I break up with them, but now they don't want to move on because I was the only person helped them, and made them feel good about themselves. We are still friends but I pity them and get constantly uncomfortable because they keep remembering me they didn't give up, and sometimes tell me how sad they are and hoe important I am to them 😓😓
My true love was the girl I never expected to fall for and fall this HARD. I’m crazy about her and am trying to work things out. Hopefully this will have a good ending.
i somewhat disagree in this day and age, it's increasingly hard to live a balanced and happy life on your own. it's sad, but that's the harsh reality imo. society has become too much people to thrive in on their own. another thing, i believe some people's happiness comes from friendships and relationships i find my joy in sharing the interests and traits of others, and i especially find joy in making other people happy relationships are a good way of doing that. i struggled with this sentiment for some time, i simply thought i was looking for someone to fill the void in my heart because i wasn't happy on my own but in reality, i wasn't looking for relationships to fill a void, i was looking for relationships because making my partner happy would make me happy
@@makiito4170 I'm kind of the same type of person so by own experience I'd recommend you to be very careful. I started having bed relations with a woman, she told me she loved me and wanted to be my gf so with time I agreed without feeling much for her, just to know her better and see if I could get in love with her too. After a few months I was completely hooked and she did give zero f*cks when breaking up with me. I was devastated and soon found out she is a covered narcissistic person, so there wasn't love from her even at the beginning of the relationship. It was even harder to realize that. Again, watch out if your motivation is to only make people happy, because most don't care for your happiness. And I know you don't do it to get something back but, in the long term it will consume you. I learned to put my happiness as my #1 priority for my own sake
@@makiito4170 wha she means by that is that you have to live your life happily, normally without a partner, you can't depend on your partner to fill something in your life cause they have their own lives too. having a partner is the cherry on top and not the whole ice cream.
People are always trying their best to make a successful date. When they become a couple, they actually start being themselves and then they don't like each other. Dating a person who's at their worst is more rewarding than being in the best state.
@@RealHero101111 That means whoever will stay, will be the best for you. Or, you really need to improve yourself. 😅 Don't take dating advice. Just get to know yourself and fine your personality. You'll know what to do automatically. Anyway, the best advice is to have friends from opposite gender. Nothing beats that.
My partner came into my life out of the blue. She was a friend of my now ex best friends and we met through her. She flipped my whole world upside down, she made me feel understood, she listened, she shared her own desires, wants, and needs with me, while trusting me with her secrets, her life, and her truths. She shook up everything I had ever experienced in a relationship and was my first, genuinely healthy relationship which was a massive learning curve and took a ton of time to get to. I was very self destructive and didn't have any self confidence and minimal self love, but she always pushed me to improve. She stayed by my side as I worked on my own shortcomings, praised and encouraged me, and talked and addressed things with me as they happened. She makes me feel so deeply and fulfilled. I am genuinely my best self with her, and I love that I can now love myself, and her and our family.
I found my boyfriend over a dating app. We were texting for a few weeks almost all day long and we knew each other pretty well already when we first met for a date. We were inline skating and i already had feelings for him. When we walked to the park he was starting to swing the inline skates that he had in his hand. This gesture was so cute and had a childish spirit that i found very lovely. We could just talk so good and i had much fun. He made me laugh a lot and still does. I fell for him because of his good heart, his kindness, his helpfulness and love for the people he cares about. He was like this to me as well from the very beginning and i loved how he respected and treated me. He cares for me and it’s very self-evident for him. No one ever was like this to me before. Not romantically. And he early on told me how serious his intentions are with me. That made me fall and stay. It clicked and he wanted to keep me by his side. He gave me the feeling I’m the one he’s always been waiting for.
@@abigailrose7845 that’s awesome! Yes it’s my first bf and it’s still very exciting and crazy haha. We are still stunned that we even ever met. I see how you feel. With every person you meet and/or date you don’t know where it’s going and that’s very thrilling and terrifying and beautiful. Everything is open. And you both can be anything you want
✨1. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING? RESPECT 0:44 ✨2. ALLOW INTIMACY TO PROGRESS NATURALLY 1:10 ✨3. DON'T LIMIT YOURSELF TO ONE TYPE 1:43 ✨4. COMMUNICATION IS KEY 2:16 ✨5. FOCUS IN WHO YOU ARE NOW 2:47 ✨6. DON'T ALTER WHO YOU ARE 3:11 ✨7. DON'T CONTROL THE CONVERSATION 3:44 ✨8. BE WITH SOMEONE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS 4:10 Have a nice day and good luck to those who are looking for a partner ❣️
+{UCipvy7MINnpkj-DEIX7261w} *As an autistic, I've a severe tendency to compromise Point 7.* My special interests in music and technology have an intersection set in the organ, on which I'll monologue long if I don't watch myself.
Been with my wife since 2010. We met in college and just connected instantly. We had similar mindsets and personalities but different interests so it was cool to share the things we loved with eachother as we got to know eachother personally. Now we're the very best of friends with a lot of hobbies we bonded over.
So the two of you met completely by chance. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you, however, please appreciate there are those of us that never get that opportunity.
@@tailgunner2 I know I'm definitely lucky in that regard. I do feel for everyone that wants love and hasn't found it yet. Sometimes it happens by chance and other times it takes a lot of work and searching but at the end of the day I truly believe there's someone out there for everyone and you'll find them in time 😊
Christopher Finding the one and having the one think your the right person too doesn’t always happen. I found the one once but he didn’t feel the same. He broke up with me but later started chasing me but I knew he was seeing someone else. I was still in love with him but I couldn’t get passed the fact he was seeing someone else when he could have been with me to begin with.
“Tryna find the perfect relationship is like tryna find the perfect house on a tight budget. Your standards are probably unrealistic and then one day you find something solid and strong but needs work.. And you work on it until its more beautiful than your idea of perfection”
Bravo! 👏 No relationship is perfect and sometimes you wonder what attracted you to the other person, but... love is love man, it's very mysterious and sometimes you just can't explain it or do so fully. Sometimes our partners need work, sometimes WE need a good amount of work, and it's often both you and the other person, or the whole relationship needs work but you're both willing to make the effort. And when that happens, it is truly a beautiful thing ❤
There was a lot in this video that I needed covering, and I even did some personal peptalk. Finding the one is very special and is a lifelong experience with another person, which makes it all the more special to have two viewpoints through your journey. Very great videos I subscribed.
@@Newgrist indeed. out of all my friends, I'm literally the only one who has never gotten a single date, even if I get complimented for my looks. Kinda weirdly fucked up, isn't it?
I haven’t been in a relationship since 2010. I have tried dating since then but to only realize just how limited it is to find an emotionally available and intelligent person.
I'm right behind you Alex, I haven't been in a relationship for exactly 11 years now. All I can say is that it is not as easy AS IT WAS many years ago. They say that social media has a lot to do with it and also women wanting the perfect guy or maybe they want the guys that run behind them and beg them like hungry dogs OR they may just want a guy to be a simp and and pay for everything while they just sit back and take all that they get
I haven't been in a relationship ever either. I've been trying to with anyone I'm interested in, but I've just never gotten lucky. I'm 22 years old, and there are already some of my old high school classmates getting married, meanwhile I still haven't gotten a chance to date anyone...
You have no idea how much this video has helped, you might not see this, i just asked a girl out and ive been feeling insecure about myself. Ive never had a date or girlfriend. She's 4 years older and has an ex. All i could think about is am i good enough for her, could i live up to expectations. I don't even know if she sees me as much more than a friend. It was eating me away from the inside.
If you listen, she literally promotes for you to watch the video and to decide at the end of the video if you enjoy what you see to subscribe. Decades of schooling wasted on basic concepts...
Also, make sure that you two share the same end goals, I’m specifically talking about deal breakers. Like maybe they want to live on a farm and you’re a city type, maybe they want children and you don’t, maybe they want to be a stay at home wife/husband or they want you to be and you’re not comfortable with that.
“Type” I’m in my late 40’s and recently realized that there is no such thing as a type for me. I’m not dating but I fell in love with someone totally opposite of what I thought my “type” was.
My advice care for yourself, no one else will it's not selfish if it's what's best for you. others will use, abuse, then accuse! many feel that they are entitled to what you have and are even jealous of your contentment and happiness. shrug it off and invest in yourself eat healthily, exercise, go outdoors, and leave the junk behind don't let the problem makers live in your head your mind and thoughts along with your body are yours. do what makes you happy enjoy what you have peace and contentment are so underrated...Peace is such a great place to reside!
I saw this video the other day that talked about how a lot of people confuse happiness with tranquility and contentment, and that nothing makes people more miserable than seeking out happiness because happiness by definition is an extreme emotion that’s a chemical imbalance in the brain, high levels of dopamine and serotonin. The pursuit of excitement, puppy love and all the thrills that come with new relationships is addicting, and a lot of people find their relationships going sour when their brains are no longer “getting their fix”. I think because of this, a lot of people think love should be/ is a constant constant state of euphoria or happiness, like the beginning of a relationship is, it isn’t. Love is peace, love is someone you can be completely relaxed and vulnerable with, whose very presence makes you feel calmer and tranquil. Get out there guys! And remember, it’s all in your head, literally! ;)
I think it’s better when two people *don’t* share the same interests. Imagine you’re dating someone who has the exact same interests as you. Everything you talk to them about is going to be things they probably already know, and everything they talk to you about will be things you already know. If you two have different interests, you get to listen to them *teach* you about their interests and see how much they enjoy being able to do it. And they get to do the same for you!
Meanwhile, I can't date anyone and find it difficult to reach stabile relations with people, because I have no topics to make a good conversation with them...
You need to find someone open to trying different things, if you find someone that has nothing in common with you, but they are okay with staying in their own bubble, good luck sharing any of the different tastes you have. Ultimately, you are looking for someone that is willing to discover things they are not familiar with, but having the same interests aren't all to bad, like that one person that spoken about having an echo chamber - you could in fact strengthen your knowledge of the things you already enjoy.
What I don't like is that these TH-cam channels say "hey you don't have a girlfriend because you need to change yourself, work hard, being charismatic etc". But I don't understand why women don't need to work hard to have a boyfriend, they don't need to become slim, go to the gym, being charismatic, have long or short hair, being smart, dress on a certain way etc. They just have to be what they are, without radical changes. That's injustice!!!
"Don't control the conversation" Well you see, I use dating apps. In the very few rare occasions where I actually get a match, it's even less common that they talk to me. In those even more rare occasions where they talk to me and don't allow the match to expire, I will ask them, one at a time something about them, only to get responses most commonly no more than 3 - 5 words. Giving them ample opportunity to ask something back, which they only ever do if I ask them if they wanna ask anything. I'm asking this person things to learn about them, mostly for more detail about things on their profile, and they show nothing back.
the closest i’ve been to a relationship is going to the café quietly hoping the cute barista girl works that day so that we can exchange the ”a latte please” ” that’ll be 2$” ”thank you” -dialouge
Save the latte line till later. Next time you see her, genuinely smile, ask her a little how her day is, and if you can, tell a genuine in situ funny joke or quick story. And don't hang about too long. Guaranteed next time you see her, she'll have a smile for you. Up to you where it goes from there. You've got this, champ 👊
Honestly I blame the existence of so much sexual material on the internet for this socially awkward behavior in the dating world. This material makes you view people of the opposite sex awkwardly outside of attractiveness.
A word of advice - obviously be interested in them, and let them share their stories, feelings, etc. But when you see the whole conversation is about them, when they always pull it back to them or interrupt you or don't seem interested in what you have to say, that's a huge red flag.
![PASULOL รามเกียรติ์ ตอนที่ 4 นนทกพบรัก [Ramakien Ep.4: Nonthok in love]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tMUQgmZzf_A/mqdefault.jpg)
Hope this video help those who are in the dating field. Do you have other tips that aren't mentioned in the video? [EDITED] There is a typo in the video. Let see if you're paying attention to our video :P. Watch next 6 Green Flags on Dating You Should Know th-cam.com/video/ojz5i4yI3xw/w-d-xo.html
Sis hope you have a nice day
hi :)
JESUS LOVES YOU SO MUCH ❤ 💖
*Greetings Psych2Go I Hope Your Doing Good Today!!* 😊
@@hasithasudheeridupulapati3595 Hope you have a good day! - Cindy
"Be careful who you start dating. A lot of people ain't looking for love, they're looking for help" - Johnny Bravo
I've seen that a lot..so annoying
@@priscillajimenez27 Can we really blame em
He actually said that??
seriously, this guy is the new owo the commenter.
Be careful,you are the wrong mind...
You attract what you think....
“My grandmother once told me never fall in love with the ones who give you butterflies, because butterflies are a sign of uncertainty and you find your self asking, do they like me? Instead fall in love with someone who makes you feel safe, calm and warm, that’s who you fall in love with.”
That's the one that cheated on me.
@Garen A.P join the furry community, sooner or later you will become one
@@ajvarninja415 LMFAOOOO
I had that once. she made me feel safe and calm in her warm hug, but we split up and I lost contact with her after certain unfortunate events that didn't involve her. Now I have no way of contacting her, and ever since its been hard to find someone in person like that.
I mean also COVID and all makes it certainly more difficult to find that and also the fact I don't got a means of transportation yet.
@Every Single Average Day that generalisation of a gender might be why you're still single, just a guess. I've seen guys chase that feeling too, maybe if we can get our pop culture and our priorities to stop romanticising the butterfly feeling and prefer the safe haven getting, we could get somewhere useful in life. But as with everything, gotta start with ourselves.
“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone.
It’s not.
The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.”
-Robin Williams
RIP to a legend
Unfortunately, we live in a time where love is a tool for women
Would you mind elaborating?
Truth.💯
Sad fact he was sick not depressed
Step 0: Find a Date
Some of y'all afraid to be corny, but I was born on the cob 🌽
@@Divoonatam
That was so cheesy i gotta throw hands
Come here, ill give ya a pizza me!
@@AmenallahMazhoud Good one
Can you make a tutorial on it its too hard for me
@@vigobox1 Add Indian accent 🇮🇳 "Hello guys, this is Ahmed Gupta tutorials and today we on this channel show you step by step tutorial to help you get date"
My biggest advice: Find someone who you don't always feel pressured to entertain. If you're able to just chill in a quiet room with them, are able to do your own thing without the pressure of feeling like you HAVE to talk to them, then you guys are already a fairly good match.
The reason I say this is because most people have a "recharge" phase, where you recover from being drained of energy. If you're still able to spend time with them DURING your "recharge" phase, you found a pretty compatible partner.
I don’t completely agree. I like the first half of what you said. But for me personally, I need isolation to fully recharge, so I can’t be around anyone if I want to reset myself, whether my girlfriend or anyone else
well I feel that way with 99% of my friends but that doesn't mean I like any of them romantically xD
@@LobitaSpaumeadora You missed my point. This has nothing to do with attraction, this is all about compatibility. Whether that's a romantic partner or a good friend, this is basically just to see if two people can get along.
@@micahhoffman3519 That's fair. Everyone "recharges" in their own way. Just like how some people like to talk things out right after a fight, or prefer to sleep it off till morning. Only you know what's best for yourself~
@@LeedleLee457 ah sorry the video is about dating so I thought you were talking only about it
but tbh I'm comfortable with all my friends and some of them even distanced themselves from me idk why lol
I wish people were this transparent when it comes to dating but everyone has games to play
Truth
Yeah exactly its so tiring
fax
Agreed. Early 20s dating sucks. Everyone’s so immature, sometimes including myself
@@shortty7618 it will get better when women will be more mature. But it still depends on each, every person is different.
A good friend once reminded me:
Relationships aren't like movies, like, at all.
They'll be many MANY moments where you are awkward, uneasy, embarrassed, or have said the complete wrong thing. Life isn't scripted - its impossible to have the perfect line all the time, and it happens to everyone. If you ever make a mistake in a relationship or do something you thought was stupid, don't worry, it happens to everyone, and to both sides of the relationship. Chances are in a few days you'll feel perfectly normal again. It will be hard to stop thinking about what happened, but with time you will stop caring. (This is coming from someone who just messed up a few days ago - and now I feel fine.) If your partner and you can move on from such occasions with ease, you know you're into the right person.
This is such nice advice thank you for sharing it
Thank you that makes me feel so much better!
It was really worth it to read it till the end
Yeah but EVERY time on a first date? I know I'm going to say something wrong because I open my mouth basically.
@@marksherrit5874 I know it can often seem like that but remember that whoever you are on a date with won't notice many of the things you perceive yourself as awkward, because it's way easier to think and worry about what you said yourself than think or care about what someone else said.
My issue isn't bad dates, it's that I can't get any dates. I don't know how to meet people, and when it seems like I might be able to ask someone out, something happens that makes it not work. I thought I was picking up hints from someone then found out they have a boyfriend already. I asked someone else out and they said yes then got bronchitis then wasn't interested anymore. Things like that. And then some of my friends tease me for my lack of success, and that just hurts.
It’s all good bro, just gotta be confident and keep trying. We’ve all had our fair share of issues and rejection, but if it was easy it would just be boring and shallow. You just gotta chill out and not care what their response is when you ask. Dont think about it because there is nothing to think about. Just ask a question and move on, it’s really that simple. At the end of the day if they say no or if something happens, you didn’t lose anything, it was their loss
First off, your friends are awful, when a bro needs a wingman you don't put him down, instead you get kidnapped by ninjas so he can rescue you in front of his date, like wingman should.
Secondly, don't be hard on yourself, shit happens, it sucks, take the time to heal. but you gotta get back up on your feet and try again. Dating is a numbers game, we get rejected more than we succeed (unless you're an absolute Adonis or lying), that's just math.
So keep working on yourself, be the best version of yourself you can be and keep trying. It may take a while, and it will hurt sometimes. But you can do it, bro.
Ended up skipping the first date I would have had ever because my best friend needed a shoulder to cry on that night. Looking back, should have gone.
I've been there. A couple of things I've learned: a relationship can only improve, or diminish happiness, it won't give you happiness itself, so you need to learn to be happy (at least a little) while single. Desperation will turn off all women, except the wrong ones. Finally, understand that there are things worse than being single, please learn this from me, so you don't have to learn it first hand. Learn what are red flags, and watch for them (this will actually help you too, women are actually more attracted when they sense that they are also being evaluated for worthiness).
@GladOs2022 Thanks, I appreciate your kind words. Ultimately I know this isn't permanent.
“Just because your date doesn’t like Star Wars as much as you, doesn’t mean they can’t be the perfect match”
How many other lies have I been told by the council?
Many
I spent time watching Soy Luna, Ana de las Tejas verdes, Liv and Maddie, The Simpson’s, read multiple bibles, listen to old people, watch my dysfunctional family, went to school in different places, heard old people that at this point watching Star Wars is a waste of time because they would just keep saying the same stuff I already learned so thanks. For some reason I thought it was a quality when it wasn’t.
@@yourphantomsoul6642 lol wut
@@zollja7625 agreed, no clue what that person is on about 😂
@@nellucthegreat I’m an immigrant who had no idea what Star Wars was and the schools I went into in America were raised on it. I thought I wouldn’t be like or accept it for it, I agree with the comment 😅
Another advice:
Don't go in a romantic relationship if you only feel pity, guilt and sympathy to a person.
*NEVER*
Oi, don't say that you are turning them away from me!
yes
OR if you feel guilty to yourself for being single for too long or pity yourself because you feel like nobody wants you
For real 😩
agree
The best advice my ma gave me is “don’t take away someone else’s right to choose” meaning if you find flaws in yourself don’t hide those flaws, let the other person decide if they can live with those flaws or not.
Well said
This is a great advice. I say it to myself from time to time, but often forget about it. So thanks for reminding 😊
Does things that can't go wrong will go wrong when you're around ?
I am flat and I can imagine it can be a problem for a lot of guys if we were to get together. So I would often make jokes about it and try to introduce it before we'd want to get deeper into a relationship. It was kinda funny and awkward with my boyfriend though and he still can't really accept it. I mean not like he is going to break up with me or it is that big of a problem, but this little flaw I have actually allows me to make the right judgements about people's feelings. I mean, yes, it would definitely be a nice bonus, but also, there he is, tolerating it, because he has no other choice. He loves me the way I am. So much so that he will even tolerate this despite his preferences.
You are certainly right and it is not even that hard to do. Especically when you turn your flaw into your stength. It also allows you to make yourself feel better since you dont ever need to worry about accidentally revealing these flaws. This kind of stress should never be in a healthy relationship.
Agree 👍 as you hide your flaws to be loved you will have to keep hiding them for the rest of your life, which it's mentally draining, not to mention that you wouldn't be loved for who you are but would be loved the person that you pretend to be
In the beginning I thought you were gonna say according to statistics only a small percentage of you are actually dating someone
Lmao...I thought the exact same thing 😭
Same here 😂
😅
that would be so brutal lmao
Probably accurate given the content!
This video will only work if you meet someone finally doesn’t ghost you
Good point
Thank you for the clarification
Yes i agree.
If you are being ghosted by a male or female look at it as a positive it’s for a reason that person isn’t your person and who would want to date somebody that’s not consistent universe step it always reason for things happening 🙏🏻❤️
Or someone who's actually interested
Best dating advice: Throw away your list of what you're looking for and focus on being who you should be. Yes, I found the love of my life that way, we spent 20 years together before she passed. Now I'm focused on being the right man, should a 2nd right woman ever come along.... and if she doesn't, at least I'll be becoming the best version of myself.
ooh that's rough. good luck to you good sir
Thank you, burger
That is the way to go. Always trying to be the better version of yourself. I am going this way too.
Wish you the best man..... Losing them after 2 decades.... Idk how I'd deal. I guess the most positive thing is you HAD them for 20 years!! 🥰
must've been hard to lose someone after 20 years. at least you didn't lose yourself and wasted 20 years of your sorry ass lonely life like me
I clicked on this then realized I was getting ahead of myself; this is for people IN the dating world, not sad idiots who have literally never gotten into it even once...
ALOT, if not all, dating advice and dating coaches seem to miss that.
Coach: Remember back in High School...
Me: uh, No?
Coach: Let me finish!
Me: Sir, I never dated in High School!
Coach: What? FINE, college then.
Me: Nope. School full time, and worked 25 to 30 hours per week at a grocery store to pay for it. Plus it was an engineering program at a Community College. No women attended that program.
Coach: The weekends then.
Me: I'm in the national guard. The weekends I'm not at drill, I'm working the store remember?
Coach: At work then. Any women interest you there?
Me: Sir, I work construction, there are no women. Put on a hardhat and tool belt, and I'll show you.
Hey a little advice from someone who was just like u but is now 'in the dating world', find something creative you genuinely love and are passionate about. Be authentic and don't worry what others think so much bcuz ppl find that really attractive. Don't watch any dating coaching videos on TH-cam because people in real life aren't as simply as that, and you've just gotta let it go naturally, don't chase too much. And get out there. Ik it can be scary it was for me but when u meet ppl who like the same stuff as u it's such a great feeling. You're only a sad idiot for as long as you believe you're one. And for someone else to love you, you need to love yourself first.
@@bwmanhath3770 Assuming I can afford it.
Right now, I have a mortgage to pay.
Some of us have to do actual work around here.
@@bwmanhath3770 "get out there" That phrase by itself means absolutely nothing.
@@WhiteScorpio2 that's why I followed it with meeting ppl who have similar interests to you. I.e. going to clubs bout things u like or gay bars or church idfk I'm antisocial af but it worked for me. Basically what I mean is being open, and happy with yourself and your appearance. I hated my face for years, dyed my hair red put on tons of makeup even tho I'm a boy. And my social anxiety has straight up disappeared
There's a book called Casanova Playbook of Magnetism, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts, it's the real deal
SCAM
Sounds lame.
Dark mind tricks are nonsense. Do you really want to manipulate to get something? Guess you don’t want to really meet the soul of another person and let love evolve naturally.
1. Respect
2. Allow intimacy to progress naturally
3. Don't limit yourself to one type
4. Communication is Key
5. Focus on who you are now
6. Don't alter who you are
7. Don't control the conversation
8. Be with someone for the right reasons
Also, the title page supposed to be for point 6 is indeed the title page for point 8
If you don't trust me, go have a look at 3'11"
@@misanthropeimmortel I just checked. Thank you!
Thanks
@@IshaSharma11 you're welcome 🥰
you're an angel 🌼
Just remember to not be addicted to having a bf/gf. You also have to be comfortable being with yourself
Edit: who said any of you had to be in a relationship one day or another?
THAT IS THE "PERFECT" ADVICE.....Being true to 'yourself' for 'yourself' and then it just may happen !!!!
@@josephinetyree1476 true
Great advice! Love and know yourself before you give love to others.
Addiction is always bad.
The problem is we often feel like that we need that "other person" who will make life a lot more bare-able.
"Do you just wish you could find your perfect someone without all the complications of dating? Well, good luck with that."
*ROLL CREDITS*
*Seinfeld theme plays* 😁😁
Why did I read this just when it was said in the video? Lmao
Lmao the *ROLL CREDITS* really pulled it together
Thats why im still single for 7 years
Dude💀 Crushed my fantasies
I think you can simultaneously love yourself and feel alone alone. Some of the comments make it seem it's either one or the other; You either love yourself and are content or don't and feel miserable. I love my company but am at an age where I love to share things with someone else, and being alone does not allow me to do that. You can also simultaneously grow and better yourself with somebody else. It is all very individual, really.
I agree completely, I travelled alone for almost a year and I'm a natural extrovert, making friends was easy...But I'd rather share those memories with someone who will always (in theory) be around and can help me grow even more. If you've been in love before you'll remember how it feels. No amount of self-development or self-love can replace or equal the feeling of unconditional love you get from a partner.
This!!!🙌
Humans are not meant to be alone you want to be alone because you been hurted alot to just an excuse
Thank you
Thank you, finally someone said it
And always remember, my girlfriend taught me this one, you don’t have to be perfect to be perfect for someone.
thats a very comforting phrase and also your girlfriend sounds adorable
Meh, i would have something to say about it. Yea,sure, it's probably caused by my gigantic pessimism, but i can't see that and think that's reasonable. I've been the best in my class for 5 years, nothing. I've been average in other things, nothing. Let's just be honest with ourselves and understand that if you're not cute you're not going to achieve anything about this matter.
@@nicolobernard8902 Not sure I understand what you're talking about.
@@forgiveness7959 It seems like this dude's definition of perfection is getting good grades/results
Well, I'm an exception. I'm not perfect for nobody, and nobody is perfect for me. Thank you, I'll take my double whammy now...
I'm not interested in being in a relationship but I'm still watching this.
Me too!
Me too bro
Same. Could be useful.
Samw
Same here, but it will be useful one day.
“Just because your date doesn’t like Star Wars as much as you, doesn’t mean they’re not the perfect match”
YOU WERE LIKE A BROTHER TO ME, PHYCH2GO, I LOVED YOU
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DESTROY THE SITH NOT JOIN THEM!!!
@@ambulanceparty428 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BRING BALANCE TO THE FORCE NOT LEAVE IT IN DARKNESS
That's like my only criteria lmao all the people I've dated either liked star wars or liked it after I made them watch it.
@@Joeyyyyyyyyy hmmm the converter
*TRAITOR*
A lot of these tips can also be applied to making normal friendships as well. My tip, not that I feel qualified to give one, is to not overthink it. This can be hard, but feeling loose during social interactions will make things go better. Like stretching before a run.
"While some of us think our perfect partner will meet our criteria..."
My criteria:
-Be a woman
-Be human (Optional)
-Have the capacity of thinking
-Dont want to kill me(Optional)
-Have (at least) a hole
@@fromant65 reading that made me uncomfortable
@@OneAndZer0 you are welcome
-Be woman (optional)
@@OneAndZer0 discomfort is always good ;_
Perfect dating advice:
DON'T try to look for a relationship on purpose.
Edit: Pay attention to the wording, people. I typed "relationship", not "love". There is just that notion that you must get a gf/bf and that it's a catastrophy if you haven't, even if you don't love them. In fact if you do that - you WILL miss your love. That's what I meant by not looking for a relationship on purpose. Instead of this, you should be on a mild lookout: pay attention to your acquaintances, there might be someone special among them, someone you'd spend your whole life around. If you found that person, start hanging out with them, you will grow closer, and this is when and how you become a pair.
And even if there is no such person yet, they will appear as you meet new people. You just have to uphold your standards.
That or... you can just keep rolling the dice in the dating apps and hope for the best.
Exactly that my home boy, I always have the best time when I'm just focusing on having a good time.
Unironically this is very true
Even though I've never dated anybody, the people I've felt closest to have always came along when I wasn't looking for anyone
Was going to say that myself. Every time I tried to chase a relationship, it didn't work. When you allow it to happen naturally, it's way easier and there's a good chance you will end up with someone who is good for you.
I’ve literally had the best relationships when we started out just as really good friends I didn’t have any interest in them lol
@@nehalilisays of course
That one friend who gives S-tier relationship advice and still is single
getting into relationships =/= doing relationship well
In the fishing hole of life, some people are strictly catch and release.
Ha me
They guide others to a treasure they cannot possess
They sacrifice themselves so they can help others.
The problem with me is: I don't get to know many people, because I study Pharmacy, so I have very little time for... getting to know people on a deeper level :( I have lost my confidence and "game", and I honestly don't feel like going through all the trouble to find someone that can be interested in me. I also just feel like no girl notice me. I have honestly started giving up when it comes to love but I really wish I could just accidentally find that one person who will like me back the way I like them :(
I met my gf during class (okay 66% of my education (biomedical engineering) consists of girls so big playing field). So reach out to some people who you share class with, create study groups and see if you click with someone. Good luck!
It was the same for me, but trust me there are no accidents... And the extra issue is as you get older, the window of people available slowly closes, plus if your goal is to eventually start a family, then women in your age range slowly but surely get more and more infertile... Then you have to date younger people, and it gets even harder because you can be seen as a creep especially nowadays, and if you weren't successful when they were your age, how could you be now...
What I can say about this is focus on your goals instead of trying to find a girl right now. Be yourself and explore your interests, one good way to get practice is if you work somewhere that serves or caters food with girls as your co workers then play around with them. Get your chin up and leveled with your chest puffing out a little then start with little compliments with what you notice they have. I found it easier to talking with the quiet ones since I was also a quiet one before and I kinda had an idea of what to say and such. If you havent yet, then start working out. It doesnt have to be complex, it can be as simple as jogging every morning for 8 mins or doing 10 push ups everyday. You can then work your way up as you learn and get stronger. Lastly get that 8-9 hour sleep, if it means dropping your games to make time for that sleep do it, it will be worth it in the long run. Enjoy your grind, be patient about it, nothing comes easy in life.
@@warlord302slayer3 "focus on your goals instead of trying to find a girl right now" I disagree, it's been 7 years since I dated. But I sure am in the exact place in life that I want to be in otherwise, you know what would have been great? To have shared the experience of the rollercoaster of getting there with someone else.
I absolutely should have tried to paired off with the several high quality women who I managed to attract in college by being an authentic slightly ambitious nerd. The thing I needed was to find a place to be out socially and literally a basic game-plan of like "ask if single -> invite to art museum on campus, expand to walk if going well, get snack -> 2nd date -> decide if should continue dating or not."
But I will say, "you attract who you are" when I was a high school dropout good women rejected me but miserable one's flocked to me and when I improved and went to college that flipped: the unhealthy physically/emotionally/mentally/etc self selected away from me and the good ones sought to connect. So I would only say work on yourself if you are getting rejected by the women you want and are only attracting the wrong kind of women. (Although if wrong is something like "ambitious girls when you just want to vibe", you need to change how you present yourself)
maybe focus on the money goal, considering that's all you'll do your entire life, and they know it as well.
Only Dating Advice You’ll Ever Need:
1. The most important thing? Respect 0:41
2. Allow intimacy to progress naturally 1:08
3. Don’t limit yourself to one type 1:42
4. Communication is key 2:15
5. Focus on who you are now 2:46
6. Don’t alter who you are 3:11
7. Don’t control the conversation 3:43
8. Be with someone for the right reasons 4:08
I hope that I, a time traveler, could help! ❤️
Two weeks ago?
TWO WEEKS AGO?
two weeks ago?? is that a trick??
Teach me how to time travel!🤗🤗
Thank you, traveler from the future!
I don't want a boring person tho lol
This video is way too advanced for me. Can we start this course with “Talking to the opposite sex for idiots” please.
Oh not only opposite just how to talk to anyone XD
Step 1: talk
Just talk to them like you would anyone, with respect. Trust me, they don't rlly care if you say something dumb or embarassing. Hopefully this helped?? Unless ur joking idk
Here’s some advice from a certified femal human lol. Biggest one is to be nice and approachable. Also, know what you like in a girl so you can see which ones you know you immediately wouldn’t like. If there’s 5 girls in your school or area that are interesting you, just try to talk to them a bit or maybe do some team work with them. Just a lot of simple stuff, like doing a group project, saying good morning. Once you feel like you’ve established yourselves as friends, find her snap and send her something funny like a meme or something. Getting someone’s snap is easier than getting their number. Don’t do pickups yet since you’re still fiends in this situation. If she responds with another meme or something or at least she responds then you’re on the right track. Try to get closer friend wise and maybe hang out with her friends super casually and send her more memes or something. Just try to be chill and be good friends. From that point on, you could go further if she seems interested, like going to dinner or the movies together. Worst case scenario (which is honestly a good scenario) you have a new friend that has a lot in common with you
@@omni8568 I have this anxiety problem where if I pass people or they pass me and look at me for more than a second I instantly think they are judging me, so I stay far away and avoid eye contact with pretty much everyone
Me being single since birth be like: * *takes note of this seriously* *
Same
Lol, same! Gotta be prepared
Same. Imma save this video
Same.
Honestly if you are a guy, you probably will be for the rest aswell. it sucks.
My problem doesn't lie with finding the perfect person, I'm just trying to find A person.
Hello, I'm a person 😃
😂
@@IRosamelia😂
@@umutkara739 ZombieBacon couldn't find me ☹
Just like me for real
One thing I always tell myself is:
"I wanna be in a relationship to share my happiness, not to gain my happiness."
And I think it's an good healthy way of wanting to go into a relationship. (When I meet someone atleast, haha)
Just thought maybe someone needed to hear this sentence.
Yeah I needed that
thank you
@@thesuperkplesbofanhithere3118 I'm so glad I was able to help! I didn't believe in it at first, but yeah. You're welcome. :))
Dude, these are words to live by.
Really wise!
@@gaborfabian1239 Yeah, I honestly think so too. So I basically live by them already, haha
1. The most important thing? Respect 0:47
2. Allow intimacy to progress naturally 1:11
3. Don't limit yourself to one type 1:41
4. Communication is key 2:16
5. Focus on who you are now 2:48
6. Don't alter who you are 3:12
7. Don't control the conversation 3:46
8. Be with someone for the right reasons 4:09
🌺oml Tysm, lists r EVERYTHING 🌺
Coming thru for us who cant pay attention for 5 min
Thank you! You're amazing!
Thanks. :)
Es ,:-0
"Just because your date doesn't like Star Wars as much as you doesn't mean they cant be the perfect match"
*It's treason then*
*I A M T H E S E N A T E*
During his wedding, my brother announced he knew his wife was The One when they were in the store and she said "Hey. Star Wars."
@@Yaboisambeezy *_not yet!!_*
@@your_average_cultured_dude tornado spin with lightsaber
@@shadowwart3113 *demonic Sith shrieking* 🗡️🌪️
I'm watching this video in retrospect of my first foray into dating. My first girlfriend, as much as I loved and respect her, was someone who was very stuck in her own past and often refused to help herself. Pretty much every conversation we had eventually became her chance to shittalk her exes and people in her family, and I often had to deal with her complaining about her stalkers and refusing to do anything about them. She dug her own holes and then got upset that she forgot a ladder.
We were also MUCH too similar, to the point where a lot of the time she knew way more about my interests than I did. Our conversatioms were fun, yes, but I rarely ended up learning anything new.
Because of her past problems, she was very afraid of intimacy. She would always talk about doing things with me, but when we went out together, she shied away from physical contact, which is my love language. I understood why she was like this (I was apparently the first person she dated who wasn't a piece of shit) but I still couldn't help but feel like I was doing something wrong. I have autism, so I struggle with communication, but I tried to make my intentions as clear as possible and yet it never seemed to change much. She would always hold me at arm's reach. I walked her home every other day but even then, she'd leave me at a street corner and never let me come over or even know where she lived. We were together for 6 months.
We broke up a couple of months ago. Every time I would mention my issues with her, she would deflect them back onto me and say I simply wasn't trying hard enough. She had a friend in her ear lying about me and trying to convince her that I wasn't worth it, and that, combined with the fact that I get sick and sleep a lot, led to her distrusting me way more than she had any reason to. We both decided that it was our best option to separate but remain friends, and to this day we're still close pals. She claims to still be obsessed with me and wants me to try again because she knows better now, but nothing could repair the fact that I simply just didn't feel that way anymore.
I've been talking to another girl, someone who I feel matches the energy that I need to balance out my own. Not someone identical to me, someone who I can still learn more from, but not someone so far detached from my interests. I'm a fairly shy, submissive guy, so in order to balance that out, I'm in need of a more confident woman, and I feel like I've found one this time around.
If anyone sees this, please wish me luck, and thank you for reading. Have a great day, whereever you are.
Good luck my guy!
I'm pretty thankful for my ex, but there's some similarities so I can relate to your experience. But good luck bro! Love from NorCal 🌲
I hope your new relationship works. Sounds like you were in a relationship with a narcissist
I’m going through same what you went through!!
I think our exes might be the same person
Although it’s true that the advice of “Be Yourself” is a bit overused, it’s true. Although a person CAN get into a relationship by pretending to be someone they’re not, any relationship formed this way is likely to be unhealthy. On the other side, it’s okay to want to impress someone, but it’s best to do it by being the best version of yourself, instead of someone else. Thanks for reading, and please take care of yourself. ❤️
Then again, "myself" is a nerd who loves to sit at his PC eating unhealthy food. I got told quite often I need to change such habits if I want to meet somebody. Or even more, want a chance of somebody actually being attracted to me.
@@gehteuchnixan3052 I suppose I’d agree that eating healthy is important, but I think your nerdiness and pc passion don’t need to change entirely. I don’t even think your junk food habit is terrible. Practiced in moderation, I think these are all qualities that you should be okay with having. If you want to be a better you, then I think that’s fine, but I hope you don’t want to be someone else entirely.
"Be Yourself" maybe overused but like you said, its true. It does help, your words and this video really helped me. Just lately been feeling like nobody wants me, everyone just wants the bad guy. But every now and then I run into comments and videos like this and it brings my spirit up, makes me feel a bit better.
I used to be in a relationship and i was being myself, and then ✨they broke up with me✨
@@kawaiipockychu1182 my last relationship did same thing, it started out. "I love how you are yourself, I love that your spontaneous." A year and a half passes. "I don't like how you can be, I don't like the things you do." We broke up and walked our separate ways. Haven't dated anyone since that happened, what made this even worse it was on my birthday.
Something i have learned from a friend's relationship and watching it unfold: You cannot fix a problem a person has with themselves,they have to do it. You can help along the way, but they need to do the work themselves.
You are not their therapist, you can be there for them in good and bad times, but sometimes professional help is needed and it's fine for you to say that you can't really help with the actual solution.
yep yep yep and YEPPP
That’s true to a point
You are basically trying to say, wheather or not we should be with a person who has a post traumatic stress disorder, just out of pity.
I needed this last year
Thanks man. I just read your advice in the perfect moment.
I need to say this:
DO NOT, and I repeat DO NOT
accept to be in a relationship with someone that doesn't really interests you just because you felt it was cute for someone to ask you. It might work, but at least ask them to try knowing each other more. I can not tell you the amount of times a girl asked me out and I felt it was so cute i said yes, just for me to realize I'm not invested in this relation and I now have to break it to them
Okay Chad
@@lad3144 Alpha Chad*
dkdidod
Damn, i just made that mistake
@@coosta7760
Giga chad*
I broke up with my first love a few months ago, and I made almost every mistake in this video. I rushed and didn't let intimacy to progress naturally, I controlled our conversations with all kinds of story without asking about her feelings. I tried to get back with her, and she also tried, but we just can't. I was still a child in love, while she wanted a more "mature" relationship. I has been holding on a tiny hope, but I supposed I have to stop, because she seems giving up.
To her : Thank you for being my first love. From the bottom of my heart, I hope you'll find a better man and live happily
If you want a relationship, don't rush it. It takes time to grow and develop our feelings and relationships. Goodluck ✨
if there was a way to "love" this comment I would 💙
how can you manage the love you feel for someone while "waiting" for the right time? there is no right time to start a relationship.
@Luzitanium exactly
I'm currently on that stage with a girl I like (who has admitted that she likes me) and my friends keep trying to pressure me to "go firther" even though she even told them that she's not ready.
But how much time should it take? I’ve been dating a girl for 3 weeks now and she still isn’t fully committed to a relationship.
"Just because your date doesn't like Star wars as much as you, doesn't mean that you can't be the perfect match"
*Sorry, but you can't UNconvince me that "hello there" is a pick up line*
As long as you don't pull out your 'lightsaber' at the start of the first date 😬
I once said 'hello there' to my crush.
She didn't get it.
But her friend did. And since then. I'm still single.
@@awadi6596 is there a meaning behind "hello there? 😅
@@io100x100 if you watched star wars and/or memes. Yes
“Just because your date doesn’t like She-Ra as much as you, doesn’t mean that you can’t be the perfect match”
I love how most of this all of this boils down to just being a good person not being half hearted or also being open to communication.
Part of me wants to offer my heart to someone wholeheartedly but there's also a part of me who doesn't want to trust people and has no confidence when it comes to dating
SAME
Bro, you just describe my problem. Sometimes I go crazy just realize how contradictory my wants and thoughts are.
@@ilikepancakes2368 True bro it fcks me up and sabotages different aspects of my life
This is just me when it comes to relationships in general, not even romantic ones. I don’t tell my parents anything despite them constantly saying that I can trust them, but I just can’t. I just got rejected by the first girl I actually really liked, and my mental state got hit hard, and it’s actually a little bit pathetic, how I let one person do that to me, but it still hurts like hell
@@buttercat2718 Oh my kindred brother. That rejection haunted me for years and it fckng sucks it was so pathetic. I'm fine with friends tho but romantic ones nah.
I fell in love with my partner starting off as friends. I think when you are close with someone before becoming romantic it makes things even more special as they begin to evolve. I have felt my gaze shift from one that was friendly and happy to be with someone i could have fun with, to seeing how beautiful the person was in front of me. Every day I was shown how beautiful their soul was and they helped me to improve myself as well as others. Find someone that will help build you up along with them, someone who will grow with you, intertwined like vines on a tree
How on Earth can you bring yourself to be friends of someone of the opposite sex I can't even be friends with someone of a different race
@@noo343 uhhh???
yeah it was like that until she friendzoned me lmao
Gay ha
Same here, I'd been friends with him for 3 years, similar classes and such. Then, one day his humour struck a chord in me, I texted him thanks for brightening my day and 3 months later I asked him out... we've been dating for 4 months now and yeah, similar interests are wonderful but maturity, comfort, respect and communication are vital to any relationship. Don't go for the butterflies, go for the warmth and comfort.
As I get older I only find myself getting more jaded by life. Still quite young at 25, but I never expected to hate most things this much growing up. The soft voice of the video felt like it grounded me for once, in a while.
I would understand that being in difficult situations and having horrible experiences. It's odd to explain difficult parts of life to people who haven't experienced it yet. Coming out of similar circumstances, I tried to reflect on the positives in a day over the negatives. There were more positives! It's strange how the bad overflows the good emotionally. However, I think every person has a certain way they look at life as well.
Holy crap are you me?
Omg saaaaame!
Hey man, me too. I'm 19, but I feel increasingly dissociated with reality. I just feel like I've already wringed out the majority of joy out of life and there isn't much left. Hopefully I can look back at this comment one day and say that things have changed for the better.
@@shosnow6824 Don't mean to jump in again, but I'm sorry you're experiencing that. I have not had that sense of dissociation from reality, but have had some traumatic situations. I would say time and having that desire/motivation to change brings things into a lighter direction. Having the determination to get out of a bad cycle. Always looking ahead and not reminiscing on the past too much. Although that is so hard to do! Anyway, I hope something pops into your life where it's a positive change
I've been single for 12 years before I met my partner - for all these years I just never met a man who showed interest in anything other then a physical relationship. Or that's what it seemed to me. At some point I noticed that my conversational skills were kind of one sided. So I started reading books about small talk, actively listening to people and leading a conversation. I met my partner a few months later in a discotheque when he invited me for a drink. At that point I had already spent several months training talking to complete strangers so I started talking even though he fell through several of my partner-criteria including age difference and educational background. However I agreed to a date - and another and another and another being immensely impressed by his patience and determination. We’ve been a couple for a long time now and I only found out very recently that prior to our first meeting he also read advice books on dating and women. Long story short: look for advice, read books, improve yourself. And most of all: show real interest in other people.
I asked my brother and his girlfriend if they actually have any shared interests and they said no. So yes, I can confirm that your ideal partner can be someone who doesn't have the same hobbies as you. Even my cousin said that having someone who's the opposite of you can make things more fun.
Doesnt last. Give it a few years
@@ethan1937 Having different/opposite interests does not mean short-lived relationship.
@@ethan1937 same interests and hobbies can bore you though. What if the person loses those interests or hobbies. Adapt
I think the key is respecting each other interests
To me that seems like it would just lack foundation to actually build and maintain the relationship on. What bound them together? Just physical attraction alone? Things like not cheating on (unless you agree to open relationship), abusing, lying to or disrespecting each other are essential and great, but also more passive. I cant see those things bringing people genuinely close in the first place
I can get having the majority of interests and tastes different from each other, but I cannot get not even sharing one genuine interest and still be actually close.
Best dating advice I ever received was to live like it’s just going to be you from here on out. The chances of finding someone you want to be with who wants to be with you is so phenomenally small as to be non-existent. If someone does come into your life, treat it like the miracle it is, not the expectation. And if they don’t stick around, well it was never in the plan anyway, so you can’t get too upset about it.
Exactly man. You can expect to find all of your happiness in someone else. Granted, relationships are wonderful, but you can truly love someone unless you love yourself. If you can love yourself enough to move on then you can't ever really be in a good, healthy relationship otherwise.
Wow. Just wow. I’m gonna remember this one
Year 3 into this mentality. Getting a bit exhausting
Well that's horrible advice. There's ~50 million potential dating candidates and you're saying it's a MIRACLE if one of them comes into my life? Especially when 90% of people around me have partners??? Dating is in human nature, everyone does it, it's not a miraculous thing that only happens to certain people. You're gonna be alone forever
@@ethan1937 What OP said about was just a mindset to help you lower your expectations and make you feel more grateful for what you have been given. Instead of just treating it like something that was meant to be yours. As I said, it's just a mindset and has nothing to do with reality. For eg, one can be given the whole world's worth of wealth and still be dissatisfied, or one can be given just a penny and still be extremely grateful for it. Now it's your choice to make, which one you want to be...
I'm gonna add one more thing: don't overstrategize. Emotions are inherently Irrational, like faith and beliefs. You can't use Rational reasoning for Irrational things.
The heart above all things is deceitful
That's one part of myself I've been working on recently. I'm a logical thinker first and foremost, so trying to rationalize things just comes with the territory. But there are many things in life that just don't make sense, nor do they have to. Just gotta roll with the punches sometimes
@@Soloeagle54 Good luck trying to biologically decrypt love, then you can do it with logic again ;)
thats a hard thing for me
@@derdimi927 well its a made up human emotion, like a chemical in the brain that causes specific parts of it to go off causing that feeling you get towards a person, ever heard of butterflies in your stomach?, or like a buzz in your head? Its really just our bodys telling us "hey this is a good thing" so we go after the person and if that person is into you then you get love, simple really but still hard to grasp, then again everything emotionally is made up
I’m in 8th grade, it’s around the end of the year and this boy that I started to like, liked me back. I’m so scared of the dating realm since I’m so young, but I’ve always wanted this and I’m really happy TH-cam is such a reliable source.
From my perspective, I don't recommend dating someone in 8th grade, because you both aren't as mature yet, I would wait until you're a Junior or Senior because it can help make the relationship last, but of course you can still try and date them if you want, it's just that, don't expect it to last, you both are very young still.
Best advice I could get based on my experience; stop searching. You'll know the right people (same applies for friends) naturally. If you are so lonely that you feel some sort of "need" for a partner, searching for one is not the right approach, focus on being happy by yourself first or maybe try to make some friends first.. trying to find someone to "make you happy" is a pretty unhealthy way of living.
Facts
A word
True to a point
Literally me thankyou
Biggest lesson that I learned last year 🙃
I’ve tried dating. But as soon as someone says “I just can’t see this going anywhere sure hope you do fine someone though” makes my confidence go POP!
a week ago?? wtf
Bruh?
POP !?!
Hold da fook up ! It came out 5 mins ago.
A WEEK AGO??
I feel like “myself” doesn’t work for relationships. That I’m not “relationship material”. That I /have/ to be someone completely different to actually have success. But that’s not possible, so…
My therapist says that I’m not giving myself a chance and that I can be too hard on myself. And so I have been thinking about trying casual dating. Thanks for the tips!
Same... I told my friend that 'I don't think I have the personality for relationships', lol, she said don't worry, I'll quote that at your wedding so I guess it goes to show there is always at least one person who believes in you XD
While the whole "Be yourself" thing is true, it's just not realistic to air everything about yourself the second you meet someone. I think a more accurate saying is "Be yourself enough" -- enough that the person catches a glimpse of who you really are, but doesn't necessarily see all your worst habits and quirks. Don't be fake, but showcase the good attributes you have. If both of you feel like a connection is forming, then little by little, let your freak flags fly. Find someone who accepts the "good" you, and if things go well, they'll surely accept the "bad" you. Hope that makes sense.
Maybe the people you'd get along soo well with are in a different state, city, country etc
Different people love different things, it's a given that someone will love the " Not relationship material" You are and feel more relaxed and happy with you, you know how bueaties get together and weirdos get along too, so be yourself and love yourself and I'm sure that they will be someone to love you too
I used to think this too. But then i started dating someone and even tho that relationship is over, I've learnt a few thing about myself and that it was all just in my head. Good luck with your love life 💙
Also for the "be yourself" tip take it lire as a "don't lie". For example don't change your opinion on something coz you think your date will prefer that answer. Take care💙
The most frustrating things are (to me) is the women that that I am NOT interested in are the ones that will want me and they make it very clear and the women that I do want, I don't make an effort because of uncertainty. Those women will not let it been known that they are interested so unfortunately it is a lose lose situation
If youre gonna keep being uncertain youll never beable to find someone. Be out there and be certain. But just dont have too much expections
"Be honest about who you are and how you feel."
Very sound advice, but a lot of people can't even be honest with themselves..
Like being honest to tell you still love your ex & want to marry her, even she has someone new?
It's not really taught in a meaningful way unfortunately. It takes time, clarity, and effort that are not easy to come by
I agree with you honesty is key to long time relationship
I'm ASD. I can't be honest about how I feel, because I simply don't know how I feel.
@@daddada2984 Yes, even that. Especially that. Being honest to yourself about how you feel will allow you to move on.
The truth is that you're not just grieving the end of your relationship. You're also grieving the loss of your *idea* of your relationship. Speaking from experience, the latter is way harder to confront than the former. It's way harder to recognize and it's way harder to come to terms with.
The first stage of grief is denial. It is important to accept that your ex has moved on, but it's doubly so to accept that you yourself have not. While you'll only have to see your ex in real life maybe a couple times ever (if that), your emotions and you are tethered, forever bound together for the rest of your life. As my ma once said, you may *feel* like you can't live without her, but you sure as HELL ain't livin' without yourself. So you better make living with yourself be something worth living for. That's why it's important for you to begin to process how you feel, so you may sooner become at peace with and love yourself. Lying to yourself prevents all that (out of sight out of mind amirite?) and must be avoided at all costs.
"Just because your partner doesn't like star wars as much as you do, doesn't mean you can't connect."
BLASPHEMEY
YOU DARE QUESTION MY STANDARDS?!?!
I'm the 69th Like! Awesome giggity!
It's a trap!
ROFL!
“It’s treason, then”
"Are you lost in the dating world?"
Me with extreme social anxiety: *How the hell do I get in the first place.*
I got over it by forcing myself to socialize over and over again it was very hard and i got nervous time and time but soon it went away and now i dont have social anxiety. Hopes this helps sorry if it doesnt
@@dhhshd973 It doesn't help that the last two years have been total lamesauce
How can you stop the mentality of "They are looking at me in a weird way... They must be judging me"?
@@miguelviola7264 my friend told me that they are probably thinking the same and not really paying attention to anyone else. also, if u do something embarrassing (ex: messing up a word or number on a presentation in class) they more than likely won’t remember it bc they have other stuff going on in their life. that helped me
@nooby thank you. that way of thinking comforts me
I had a car accident in 2004 and I'm forced to use a wheelchair. I'm normal, I can't just move my legs. Now I'm 21 years old and I've never had a girlfriend or a kiss. I've never cuddled either. It just hurts.
I think the more you learn about dating, especially by experience, the less you care about dating itself and you will only put effort on it when it feels right, like basically everything seems favourable, more driven by excitement than fear of being single and rejected. Dating for the sake of dating can be self-destructable.
That's true. You should only date someone if you really truly like them, and if they feel the same for you of course.
👏👏
Your comment is underrated! That's exactly what appended to me when finally I found my bf after years of unsuccessful trying thanks for sharing 🌻🌞
I wish more people took this advice to heart, the worst bit about dating is how superficial it is and all the stupid games that are being played... Sometimes I wish we knew in advance who we're compatible with and who's worth our time and energy. It's exhausting...
"Fake nails, fake eyelashes, fake face, fake a*s, fake t*ts - but want a real man." - Someone, somewhere.
Be real and you'll attract real people.
It really is exhausting to a point where you can lose all hope and then when some people finally come to you, you’re too hurt to even care
True to a point
I personally never liked the idea of randomized dating, I think all the best relationships start with friendship and built feeling overtime. Although dating random people in bars seems interesting, I always would perfer getting to know them on a friend level before moving to dating.
I am currently friends with a girl. We met in a university theatre production in 2019. Our interactions have been increasing ever so slightly since 2020. And I definitely want to date her. I am a recent graduate with a master's degree. I am waiting to get a job and finally be financially independent. I will ask her out once I have a job. And yes, being friends first is definitely the way to go. I am old school in that sense.
@@ravirajyaguru5905 bro, my advice is not to wait. As a man, I used to think having a job would make me more attractive, but the truth is that girls that like you won't care if you have a job or not. You might feel: ah but I need to provide for her etc etc. Yes, it is natural, but I have destroyed one of my best relationships because of this feeling and it isn't worth it imo. However, cultural considerations might mean it helps the parents be more accepting of you, and that might be true.
PROTECTION these days is all about MONEY MONEY MONEY. Money cannot always buy you protection and LEADERSHIP HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MONEy
@@ravirajyaguru5905 don't wait, she might disappear, go my friend. Also if she likes you without the money she is definitely the right one
I agree.
After more than 10 fail dates, I conclude all the love relationships must start with a friendship.
I just lost my special someone and we have a kid. I failed by being toxic and not being there for them. Now that she’s left I’m left in shambles for not always being the best person. Don’t take your person for granted. I did
"I'm worried you don't like my food."
"Yea, ur food taste like shit, just being honest."
Hey guys now I'm single.
😂
You got me😂😂😂😂
If you would phrase your feelings differently and more professionally, your partner might not realize that you hate the food she prepared. You could also give criticism for improvement.
What i think when i read the comment: 😂
I cant even try these things because a women already rejects me for a date.
I am 31 year old have been single my whole life. Not because I want to. Because of every womem rejected me. And no women eber showed interest in me. Never a hug, a kiss or a realationship. Hell not even a date. If its involuntary its no easy life.
@@Lopolin_LP Almost like it was a joke about taking honesty too seriously 😐
Impprtant advice: steer away from emotionally or psychologically troubled folks. You can be friends and support them but dating someone that has serious unsolved issues and no intention of seeking therapy is literally the worst.
To be more specific, this kind of relationship puts you in the position of becoming the only responsible for their well-beind and mental health, making you feel pressured to make immense sacrifice that almost never gets back in any form... and it forms also codepence and a bunch of other problems. In short, someone who's drowning can and will pull you down with them unless you are a certified professional.
Hi
I feel called out by your comment
(・_・;)
I feel bad now
Didn't know it could effect them like that
Wish I saw this comment like a year ago, got involved in a relationship with someone like this, it was too much for me, and I actually didn't like them that way at all, so I break up with them, but now they don't want to move on because I was the only person helped them, and made them feel good about themselves.
We are still friends but I pity them and get constantly uncomfortable because they keep remembering me they didn't give up, and sometimes tell me how sad they are and hoe important I am to them
😓😓
Yesss!!! Wish I was told this months ago
That's like 99% of single people I guess?
My true love was the girl I never expected to fall for and fall this HARD. I’m crazy about her and am trying to work things out. Hopefully this will have a good ending.
Happy for you. Hope you guys have happy ending :)
Do you love her or the image of her you have in your mind?
@@bt4670 I love you for your profile image, I guess I’m the latter
Watch This Before Dating or Moving into a Relationship..
th-cam.com/video/PPFHc2K1WfA/w-d-xo.html
Man, I relate so much! Best of luck to you two! Hope it works out!!
Don't get your hopes up high, I know I'll die alone. I cannot change what's been written in stone, so I must embrace it.
so negative for what gang? everybody can find a special someone.
I wonder if my future girlfriend is also watching this preparing for the day when she finally meets me.
Synchronicity Jung
Th8s was so sweet🌻
I'm right here-
She may or may not, but the day she meets you, she’ll be ready.
And honestly, I can’t wait to meet mine.
@@nlynn.7 Lol dis guy you just put out a free talk to me card and he hasn't noticed yet 🤭
Best dating advice I’ve ever taken:
Put yourself first. Love yourself first. Depend on yourself for your own happiness.
i somewhat disagree
in this day and age, it's increasingly hard to live a balanced and happy life on your own.
it's sad, but that's the harsh reality imo. society has become too much people to thrive in on their own.
another thing, i believe some people's happiness comes from friendships and relationships
i find my joy in sharing the interests and traits of others, and i especially find joy in making other people happy
relationships are a good way of doing that.
i struggled with this sentiment for some time, i simply thought i was looking for someone to fill the void in my heart because i wasn't happy on my own
but in reality, i wasn't looking for relationships to fill a void, i was looking for relationships because making my partner happy would make me happy
@@makiito4170 I'm kind of the same type of person so by own experience I'd recommend you to be very careful.
I started having bed relations with a woman, she told me she loved me and wanted to be my gf so with time I agreed without feeling much for her, just to know her better and see if I could get in love with her too. After a few months I was completely hooked and she did give zero f*cks when breaking up with me. I was devastated and soon found out she is a covered narcissistic person, so there wasn't love from her even at the beginning of the relationship. It was even harder to realize that.
Again, watch out if your motivation is to only make people happy, because most don't care for your happiness. And I know you don't do it to get something back but, in the long term it will consume you. I learned to put my happiness as my #1 priority for my own sake
@@FireRams_arisinglion ...that sounds a bit unhealthy ngl
yesssir! you can not depend on anyone for happiness, that's just sad ;')
@@makiito4170 wha she means by that is that you have to live your life happily, normally without a partner, you can't depend on your partner to fill something in your life cause they have their own lives too. having a partner is the cherry on top and not the whole ice cream.
People are always trying their best to make a successful date. When they become a couple, they actually start being themselves and then they don't like each other.
Dating a person who's at their worst is more rewarding than being in the best state.
True af
So true.. you'll know he/she's the one when he/she stays after you've shown your worst side and actually making you want to be a better person
i do opposite and it never works
@@RealHero101111 That means whoever will stay, will be the best for you.
Or, you really need to improve yourself. 😅
Don't take dating advice. Just get to know yourself and fine your personality. You'll know what to do automatically.
Anyway, the best advice is to have friends from opposite gender. Nothing beats that.
That's beautiful
My partner came into my life out of the blue. She was a friend of my now ex best friends and we met through her. She flipped my whole world upside down, she made me feel understood, she listened, she shared her own desires, wants, and needs with me, while trusting me with her secrets, her life, and her truths. She shook up everything I had ever experienced in a relationship and was my first, genuinely healthy relationship which was a massive learning curve and took a ton of time to get to. I was very self destructive and didn't have any self confidence and minimal self love, but she always pushed me to improve. She stayed by my side as I worked on my own shortcomings, praised and encouraged me, and talked and addressed things with me as they happened. She makes me feel so deeply and fulfilled. I am genuinely my best self with her, and I love that I can now love myself, and her and our family.
I've found a special someone, she's kind, beautiful, we communicate and respect each other. I've never been so proud of a relationship as I am today
I'm glad for you man I wish you all the best with her
Awesome, brother. Happy for y’all!
Respect for u my brother. Cherish her, don't take her for granted
Boa sorte parceiro
How can you be "proud" of a "relationship"....I don't understand. Does the verb go with the word "relationship".
I found my boyfriend over a dating app. We were texting for a few weeks almost all day long and we knew each other pretty well already when we first met for a date. We were inline skating and i already had feelings for him. When we walked to the park he was starting to swing the inline skates that he had in his hand. This gesture was so cute and had a childish spirit that i found very lovely. We could just talk so good and i had much fun. He made me laugh a lot and still does. I fell for him because of his good heart, his kindness, his helpfulness and love for the people he cares about. He was like this to me as well from the very beginning and i loved how he respected and treated me. He cares for me and it’s very self-evident for him. No one ever was like this to me before. Not romantically. And he early on told me how serious his intentions are with me. That made me fall and stay. It clicked and he wanted to keep me by his side. He gave me the feeling I’m the one he’s always been waiting for.
I’m in the start of this same thing and we meet soon for our first date and I’m manifesting this for me😭💛
@@abigailrose7845 that’s awesome! Yes it’s my first bf and it’s still very exciting and crazy haha. We are still stunned that we even ever met. I see how you feel. With every person you meet and/or date you don’t know where it’s going and that’s very thrilling and terrifying and beautiful. Everything is open. And you both can be anything you want
Awwwwww soooooo cute!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉
I wish you two the best, very adorable ☺️
wish love would happen to me someday too
the only dating advice you’ll ever need:
don’t.
@Glory ForFreedom a romantic? what’s that
@@majormoistme1030 not interested in romantic relationships
Thanks bro
That is true 🤷♂️
my virgin detector is off the charts
Hopefully one day I can go from hugging my pillow to a person
✨1. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING? RESPECT 0:44
✨2. ALLOW INTIMACY TO PROGRESS NATURALLY 1:10
✨3. DON'T LIMIT YOURSELF TO ONE TYPE 1:43
✨4. COMMUNICATION IS KEY 2:16
✨5. FOCUS IN WHO YOU ARE NOW 2:47
✨6. DON'T ALTER WHO YOU ARE 3:11
✨7. DON'T CONTROL THE CONVERSATION 3:44
✨8. BE WITH SOMEONE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS 4:10
Have a nice day and good luck to those who are looking for a partner ❣️
Dm me grill
@@notthemlgtom494 bro wut
+{UCipvy7MINnpkj-DEIX7261w} *As an autistic, I've a severe tendency to compromise Point 7.* My special interests in music and technology have an intersection set in the organ, on which I'll monologue long if I don't watch myself.
@@notthemlgtom494 grill
@@goosegod9414 yeah our kitchen appliances are looking real fancy lately
Been with my wife since 2010. We met in college and just connected instantly. We had similar mindsets and personalities but different interests so it was cool to share the things we loved with eachother as we got to know eachother personally. Now we're the very best of friends with a lot of hobbies we bonded over.
So the two of you met completely by chance.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you, however, please appreciate there are those of us that never get that opportunity.
@@tailgunner2 I know I'm definitely lucky in that regard. I do feel for everyone that wants love and hasn't found it yet. Sometimes it happens by chance and other times it takes a lot of work and searching but at the end of the day I truly believe there's someone out there for everyone and you'll find them in time 😊
Awesome man I’m happy for you
ok
Christopher Finding the one and having the one think your the right person too doesn’t always happen. I found the one once but he didn’t feel the same. He broke up with me but later started chasing me but I knew he was seeing someone else. I was still in love with him but I couldn’t get passed the fact he was seeing someone else when he could have been with me to begin with.
“Tryna find the perfect relationship is like tryna find the perfect house on a tight budget. Your standards are probably unrealistic and then one day you find something solid and strong but needs work.. And you work on it until its more beautiful than your idea of perfection”
Bravo! 👏 No relationship is perfect and sometimes you wonder what attracted you to the other person, but... love is love man, it's very mysterious and sometimes you just can't explain it or do so fully. Sometimes our partners need work, sometimes WE need a good amount of work, and it's often both you and the other person, or the whole relationship needs work but you're both willing to make the effort. And when that happens, it is truly a beautiful thing ❤
I do have such mindset but sadly humans are not properties, it takes two to run it so it's just much more complicated
@@yappykaki Yeah, "working" on someone isn't as simple as the people above seem to apply. If only life was so simple as 2+2=4...
This was bEautiful🥰
There was a lot in this video that I needed covering, and I even did some personal peptalk. Finding the one is very special and is a lifelong experience with another person, which makes it all the more special to have two viewpoints through your journey. Very great videos I subscribed.
I'd rather worry more about finding a date to begin with, because even that seems impossible enough...
Same
Indeed, been alone for almost 30 years now, life is FUCKING great isn't it?
@@thesaddestdude3575 Yea, having a goddamn blast
Yeah, this video presupposes that there is a dating world. Where is this mythic place? I never meet single women anywhere.
@@Newgrist indeed. out of all my friends, I'm literally the only one who has never gotten a single date, even if I get complimented for my looks. Kinda weirdly fucked up, isn't it?
I haven’t been in a relationship since 2010. I have tried dating since then but to only realize just how limited it is to find an emotionally available and intelligent person.
I hope you cross paths with the right person some day.
I haven't been in one ever
Intelligent people often struggle with relationships
I'm right behind you Alex, I haven't been in a relationship for exactly 11 years now. All I can say is that it is not as easy AS IT WAS many years ago. They say that social media has a lot to do with it and also women wanting the perfect guy or maybe they want the guys that run behind them and beg them like hungry dogs OR they may just want a guy to be a simp and and pay for everything while they just sit back and take all that they get
I haven't been in a relationship ever either. I've been trying to with anyone I'm interested in, but I've just never gotten lucky. I'm 22 years old, and there are already some of my old high school classmates getting married, meanwhile I still haven't gotten a chance to date anyone...
You have no idea how much this video has helped, you might not see this, i just asked a girl out and ive been feeling insecure about myself. Ive never had a date or girlfriend. She's 4 years older and has an ex. All i could think about is am i good enough for her, could i live up to expectations. I don't even know if she sees me as much more than a friend. It was eating me away from the inside.
0:01 Note: asking someone to subscribe in the beginning isn't the best dating strategy.
If you listen, she literally promotes for you to watch the video and to decide at the end of the video if you enjoy what you see to subscribe.
Decades of schooling wasted on basic concepts...
@@BLOODKINGbro ??? Did _your_ schooling not include the subjects known as "jokes"? Also pardon the y-3 me if my sense of humour was sort of rough
Well, if you really wanna make sure the other person is committed lol
“Please subscribe to the relationship so I know you won’t leave me”
The only dating advice you will ever need.
2 seconds later: NUMBER 1
Yeah hate to break it tp you but “advice” is noncount.
169likes
Also, make sure that you two share the same end goals, I’m specifically talking about deal breakers. Like maybe they want to live on a farm and you’re a city type, maybe they want children and you don’t, maybe they want to be a stay at home wife/husband or they want you to be and you’re not comfortable with that.
You are making a good practical point. Wanting children is really a deal breaker for me.
I've always thougth that any relationship, doesn't matter if it is romantic or friendship, needs mutual respect
Added to *"Will probably never happened but hey, who knows :)"* play list
Don't be like that. Anything can happen.
“Type” I’m in my late 40’s and recently realized that there is no such thing as a type for me. I’m not dating but I fell in love with someone totally opposite of what I thought my “type” was.
At this point I'm just listening to this narrator, their voice is actually very soothing idk about y'all lol
I find her voice to be a bit too sweet for my liking.
I really like the advice regarding letting intimacy grow naturally and not revealing too much early on
i dont
My advice care for yourself, no one else will it's not selfish if it's what's best for you. others will use, abuse, then accuse! many feel that they are entitled to what you have and are even jealous of your contentment and happiness. shrug it off and invest in yourself eat healthily, exercise, go outdoors, and leave the junk behind don't let the problem makers live in your head your mind and thoughts along with your body are yours. do what makes you happy enjoy what you have peace and contentment are so underrated...Peace is such a great place to reside!
I saw this video the other day that talked about how a lot of people confuse happiness with tranquility and contentment, and that nothing makes people more miserable than seeking out happiness because happiness by definition is an extreme emotion that’s a chemical imbalance in the brain, high levels of dopamine and serotonin. The pursuit of excitement, puppy love and all the thrills that come with new relationships is addicting, and a lot of people find their relationships going sour when their brains are no longer “getting their fix”. I think because of this, a lot of people think love should be/ is a constant constant state of euphoria or happiness, like the beginning of a relationship is, it isn’t. Love is peace, love is someone you can be completely relaxed and vulnerable with, whose very presence makes you feel calmer and tranquil. Get out there guys! And remember, it’s all in your head, literally! ;)
Well said
I think it’s better when two people *don’t* share the same interests. Imagine you’re dating someone who has the exact same interests as you. Everything you talk to them about is going to be things they probably already know, and everything they talk to you about will be things you already know. If you two have different interests, you get to listen to them *teach* you about their interests and see how much they enjoy being able to do it. And they get to do the same for you!
What if I want and echo chamber
Meanwhile, I can't date anyone and find it difficult to reach stabile relations with people, because I have no topics to make a good conversation with them...
You need to find someone open to trying different things, if you find someone that has nothing in common with you, but they are okay with staying in their own bubble, good luck sharing any of the different tastes you have.
Ultimately, you are looking for someone that is willing to discover things they are not familiar with, but having the same interests aren't all to bad, like that one person that spoken about having an echo chamber - you could in fact strengthen your knowledge of the things you already enjoy.
it can also backfire hard af. I think its about balance between differences and similarities combined with genuine connection and an open mind.
I think a better way to put it is you should have some of the same interests but share all of the same core values.
What I don't like is that these TH-cam channels say "hey you don't have a girlfriend because you need to change yourself, work hard, being charismatic etc". But I don't understand why women don't need to work hard to have a boyfriend, they don't need to become slim, go to the gym, being charismatic, have long or short hair, being smart, dress on a certain way etc. They just have to be what they are, without radical changes. That's injustice!!!
"Don't control the conversation"
Well you see, I use dating apps. In the very few rare occasions where I actually get a match, it's even less common that they talk to me. In those even more rare occasions where they talk to me and don't allow the match to expire, I will ask them, one at a time something about them, only to get responses most commonly no more than 3 - 5 words. Giving them ample opportunity to ask something back, which they only ever do if I ask them if they wanna ask anything. I'm asking this person things to learn about them, mostly for more detail about things on their profile, and they show nothing back.
I have given up on dating apps, they don't work and they bring out the worst in everyone.
@@philsweeney81 I can agree with those. I thought it'd be a half decent alternative but it's been a few years now and nothing.
I believe it
Maybe talk about something else?
i'm sure she meant real life conversation
the closest i’ve been to a relationship is going to the café quietly hoping the cute barista girl works that day so that we can exchange the ”a latte please” ” that’ll be 2$” ”thank you” -dialouge
Hey, maybe you’ll get the chance to tell that you like her a latte, please
Next time bro you’ve got it
Save the latte line till later. Next time you see her, genuinely smile, ask her a little how her day is, and if you can, tell a genuine in situ funny joke or quick story. And don't hang about too long. Guaranteed next time you see her, she'll have a smile for you. Up to you where it goes from there.
You've got this, champ 👊
@@343-penitentnarrator8 "Hey, do you want to go out for a coffee sometime maybe? I know this great pla... oh.. wait a second"
Honestly I blame the existence of so much sexual material on the internet for this socially awkward behavior in the dating world. This material makes you view people of the opposite sex awkwardly outside of attractiveness.
I held the door for a girl once at a gas station. She said thanks. That's as far as I've gotten.
Best pickup line ever, and if you get this we are best friends now
“It involves you and me and some place that isn’t here”
h e h e
Wait where is this coming frooom
My curiousity is piqued
Kinda cringe ngl
Idk why this reminds me of psych but i think I'm wrong
A word of advice - obviously be interested in them, and let them share their stories, feelings, etc. But when you see the whole conversation is about them, when they always pull it back to them or interrupt you or don't seem interested in what you have to say, that's a huge red flag.
1:30 that’s a hollow knight bench. Seal of Hallownest and everything. Hell yes
They are changing they’re charms