The NEW Jehovah's Witness Convention DESTROYED ME 💀
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ก.ค. 2024
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ABOUT ME: I’m a former Jehovah’s Witness who faded away from the religion around 3 years ago. The purpose of this channel is to provide concise, up to date information on the Jehovah’s Witness religion, along with humorous commentary aiding those who have left or are leaving the faith. I am a big proponent of religious freedom and critical thinking, and invite my audience to be kind, open minded, and always stay curious.
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We did it guys! We made it through the con-vention 🎉 please consider becoming a channel member for early access to all the vids: th-cam.com/channels/DLalBD_PsUrj4ZEeWW7Tig.htmljoin
We did? Why does it feel like it's not over?
Jesus loves you and will keep loving you forever
Come back to him and cast all your hurts and worries on Him
He will show you true love, the real love that you are seeking for that this world is unable to provide. No matter how hard you try, the regular chores of life will never be fulfilling to you
I pray you seek the Lord’s presence ❤
My headcanon concerning JW heaven is that the language of the angels is Australian English, and they all have a heavy Bogan accent. That does make their heaven seem surprisingly chill, I have to admit.
@@titanomachy2217 My headcannon is that it's just 144,000 JWs in a dingy convention center. No lunch breaks, no reprieve, just an endless convention for the rest of eternity.
@@bladenot-runner1795 Sounds worse than Hell. Makes me shudder with fear...and boredom, lol.
"Satan doesn't want you to think critically." I think it's the other way around.
LEGIT
Literally the first thing in the bible he did Dzhaehouva didn’t like was to convince humans to eat the fruit of knowledge.
Maybe it was on purpose, and the GB is more self aware than we realize.
@@nablamakabama488 To be honest, we might never have eaten the fruit of knowledge at all based on how we as a species interact with each other.
I think we just eat the fruit of sapience
Critical thinking not bad us it
I don't struggle with homosexuality. I'm very good at it
@YouLocalNirvanaFan
To each their own, Liberal and "Liberated"?
Helll yeaahhhh me too 😎😎😎😎
Same 🎉
I only struggle sometimes, but I'm kinda into it.
Same i get a lot of girls/enby ppl
I hate how if someone helps them, it's always "jehovah helped me" and not "wow, that was really nice of that person."
Based.
correct
inis about that person but if you pray about than Jehovah did help you
"the end is just around the corner"
The corner in question is a circle. (They keep running in circles saying that the end is soon)
And it does end
Bu no they way they were told
The end if for them
Because they die of old age.
@@AgnesBooth-zu7tw because you have no faith and you choose not to believe in Jehovah so you will not be seen in paradise so sad😢😢
@@jezrelbalatbat9930 get out of that cult while you still can. I hate seeing people be indoctrinated into doomsday cults.
@@jezrelbalatbat9930 get out of that horrible cult, it ruined my life.
@@jezrelbalatbat9930 If you aren't trolling, get out as fast as you can. This is the best advice anyone could give you. GET OUT! You can believe in imagi-bro in the heavens, but don't do it in dangerous cults like the Jehovas.
Deprograming is a mess, but once you are out, you will get your life back. People in the real world don't all act like narcissit a*holes, there are some nice people out there, but not in that cult.
The governing body is so out of touch with reality in their castle. All the families in these dramas are rich. Their "struggle" to simplify makes me sick
Exactly. You never see any real struggling families in these dramas.
The governing body members' bellies are filled with food all day every day. The members feed them.😂😂
"Distorted view of sex," you mean like how the GB inserted itself(no pun or sexual innuendo intended) into JW marriages with regards to certain sexual practices? What a married couple does in the privacy of their bedroom is none of the GB's business.
No
But then they change their view point to gods view
And then they have permission.
Like entering the master login in a pc
Once the government boddy sign the account as God, they have acees to all data.
@@AgnesBooth-zu7twthats pretty stalky :T
Also they're not god.
"In the following dramatization note how Panda exposes how cults operate. Enjoy!"
How is this 2 weeks ago 🤔🙃
@@user-id9oi1py4t it was a members only video but it went public, beavis is a member
I commented when it was still available to members only
@@BeavisMcThe oh,makes sense
That's what we doing watching it so let us watch it.
so rather than just ignoring the bi girl and just leaving it at that, JWs should be convinced to talk to queer people and convince them that they're going to hell?
Yes they don’t mind their business they’re so annoying
I didn’t even understand it. Was she his ex? Is he considering him telling his ex that she’ll go to hell?
I've never understood this approach. It's just negging. If I walk up to someone and ask them out and they say no, so I respond by screaming at them that they are a this, a that, and other slurs to boot, why would they turn around and be like, "hold up, all of a sudden he seems reasonable and mature, I should hear him out."
Why do people think that works for religion if it doesn't work for dates?
@@stevenhuntley8706 that reminds me that when I was a very conservative Catholic (Mass in Latin and dressing up like it was the 1950’s) I somehow came to the conclusion that democracy should be done away with entirely and that things like the Inquisition should be brought back to deal with the Protestants once and for all. Logical conclusion to thinking that abortion and gay people existing were the cause of the West dying and I wasn’t alone in thinking that.
So yeah… We were basically the Christian version of ISIS and the Taliban looking back at it, one of my therapists was convinced I had left a cult but in terms of intensity I still had it easy compared to someone raised Mormon or JW. I guess many folks have the idea that the ends justify the means (aka saving people from hell or Armageddon) so that’s why they double down when confronted to the reality you mentioned.
Based
This zoom into their mouths makes me feel as uncomfortable as hearing them speak.
A ten minute concluding talk recapping the convention, followed by a 15 minute prayer recapping the convention
I've been out of this org for over 25 years now. Wow! I forgot what a scam they run! It's kind of like a mafia-lite😅
Or used bible salesman. I never could get over just how much the Theocratic School & field service meetings were like sales meetings, honing a sales pitch.
@@davidreda1211 agreed- but I don't know how they made the money to run and keep increasing the footprint of their production facilities, pioneer schools and farms that produced all their food. I mean, magazines were .05-.25, books were like a dollar (or less) while I was in. I know there were donations from each hall. But these guys were pretty well off, even had their own law firm!
@@cathrinewhite7629, tax loopholes/deductions, the likes of which we're not privy to.
JW mafia lolz
Oh. The song absolutely sounds like a traditional Christmas song
Oh the gathering.... The place where half the congregation is not invited because they're not popular or cool.
That was painful to watch, the only good parts were the commentary😉!!
Boring!!!! I’m falling asleep hearing this clips from my he convention. Same info since I left 25 yrs ago!!
"these are the last days of the last days." Also watchtower, "Come back to the convention for the comming of the choosen one part 2." LOL
I HAD JW'S STANDING NEAR MY TRAIN STATION AND ONE CHASED ME DOWN TO TRY PREACH TO ME. I JUST RAN FOR IT MAN-
This sounds like a great premise for a horror movie.
Don't run
Confrot their own believes
If anything buy a Bible start reading it, but as a work of fiction not faith then fight back.
@@AgnesBooth-zu7tw I am so sorry but I am not indulging in this religion. I want nothing to do with them
@@sad_doggo2504 It felt like one.
@rosestea6534
You need to learn on how to read, I didn't say join them, I said learn to fight back
I do agree with your answer tho, its not for everyone
If you don't feel comfy with a Bible (regardless of context) don't do it.
My cringe moment was when I saw the Christmas lights in the backyard. When would a JW ever think it was a good idea to hang up lights bcuz it mimics “pagan” celebrations, e.g. a holiday or birthdays, which are forbidden fruit.
Neighbor lives in an apartment in her Elder son's house! JW elder has / allows Christmas lights all over his house, around windows, his mom says it is for extra light when walking at night to her son's part of the house, as if no other lights are out there .
@@murlepeterson6028 that is a practical and recommended elder care tip for self or others past a certain age! But now we do not need to worry about their views on any issue!
I never heard that when I was a JW, lots teens had those lights up in their room, no one said anything
The lights were IN THE TREES IN THE YARD!! WOW. No way they'd all be OK with that. I would put lights out twisted around my deck in summer...but NEVER in the trees! That says Christmas clearly.
12:35 is where i lost it. These writers have never observed a conversation between "yang wans."
They say that the end is just behind the corner. Question is: which corner? What if that corner is an illusion? What if the path to that corner doesn't and never will exist?
Pretty sure it's their corner since the view there, is so distort
They can't see Jack Chet.
I hope my donations didn’t go to their acting lessons 😮
never-JW here, and I think that song sounds extremely Christmas-y! cringed at the hipster husband fixing his sink
Well, I cringe & cringe & cringe....rest my case 🙄
😂That foreskin question was FIRE 🔥 - lol
It’s all jehover for the watchtower
Sneaky good comment!
WAIT GOT AN AD FOR JWs RIGHT BEFORE THIS 💀💀
They do ads now?!
@@whitneymouse apparently 😂
paying an ex jw to spread your own lies and wake ppl up is such an L move, watchtower
What do you mean? Can you post a link?
I get a ton of ads asking me to pray or download bible apps when I watch Panda. They know 😆
Wait. Doesn't the governing body tell their followers to be ready to obey them no matter what? Even if it doesn't make sense?
i think a collab between you and Alyssa Grenfell would be super interesting! maybe comparing the JW and LDS churches?
They did collab like two months ago
They did one! 😊
The part of the drama where The husband's work wants him to leave for 2 weeks and then he imagines his family suffering in child not doing well is actually saying women can't handle raising children properly or maintaining anything without the man present. It's just more misogynist propaganda.
Which is crazy because most of the time men are the ones that can’t handle to stay with their kids alone.
This is so true. If I leave my husband alone with the kids I expect the house to be an absolute disaster when I get back.
Or are they saying that he's weak? Is he planning on clapping some cheeks while he's gone, or is he so boring that he's worried she'll appreciate his absence? 🤦♀️
AUTISTIC BUSEXUL ARMY ASEMBLE
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't forget ADHD
I’m here 🫡
He will find out really soon when it comes time to pay his Bills
10:10 you literally took the words right out of my mouth, I was about to say, “Joseph?? You mean as in, Mary’s husband, Joseph? What are you even talking about? Has any of that been established? I thought we really only saw Joseph like twice, really early on. Is any of this in the Bible? 🤣”
Same here! We're starting to think like Pandas 😂
I just watched that lmao
These people are insane
Thirst trap Jesus 😂😂😂, that cracked me up!
Lol I’m the girl dozing off at the meeting (not literally). I fell asleep at every single midweek meeting until I left in my 30’s. Then I learned that I have inattentive adhd. No wonder I couldn’t pay attention to that boring crap! And I felt so guilty about it too
600 hours of preaching a year? ~1.65 hours a day, saturdays and sundays included.
I looked it up, 600 hours is 25 days, that’s not really a lot
a person could finish college course work in no time with that kind of discipline and drive.
@@erincobb305224/7? If they could do it for 25 days straight then yeah but most likely it’s taking a few hours out of their day which adds up to 600
These little dramas are like HallMark Movies now😂
I lost it almost immediately
for the first time, i actually had to stop watching halfway through. the "how to build faith" section's promotion and normalisation of bigotry, and just the knowledge that my family and millions of other j-dubs are drilling this into themselves really upset me.
thank you for everything you do, though, panda. i think i speak for a lot of people when i say that your work really validates a lot of what people struggling feel.
Who lives soley to look foreward to the end? I tripped in a huge puddle of lemon flavour cringe
"The edyptians thought the most significant thing you could do in your life- was die." -some documentry.
As a former Jehovah's Witness, I remember when I was younger I would go to assemblies, and it would be like a week-long. But at least they gave out food, and you actually wanted to pay attention, cuz at least they had something going for it. But around the turn of the century, I stopped going to the assemblies, because they just became a snoozefest, and after that I started leaving, "the religion" around the year 2000, and because of all of this, that's just how, I've been viewing assemblies since then.
idk when I lost the challenge cuz I was perpetually cringing throughout
That drama is pure evil. It's going to give me nightmares
When I was in the religion I NEVER talked with my friends like this lol it’s so unrealistic
Funniest moment: 22:43-22:48
"Who are you looking forward to seeing in the Resurrection the most?",
"Joseph Stalin" 😂😂
Yes Tovarish! I, Josef Stalin, wil mit yu in heven end tich yu ebaut Komyunisem!
Are there really people like this .?
As a Christian myself they have become insane
I wonder what percentage of witnesses look forward to these events. I would be bored out of my mind the entire time.
Is it just me or do all the actors in these videos always sound depressed no matter what situation they're in?
11:00
My father did that, he renounced a Government job... Well, I know the taste of rotten beans... Spectacular for young ones! Eating f**ckin rotten food because your family doesn't have money, your father doesn't find job, and when finds it with a "brother", the "brother" pays 25USD/week... For a family of 5...
Thanks! I felt the love! 🖕🏻
oh we all know stories like that! A pioneer that kept waiting for God to provide didnt have health insurance ends up with type 2 diabetes and loses front teeth.
Jehovah's Witnesses are so full of crap and not knocking my mother who has been a JW member for 30+ years, she is dillusional.
I'm currently dying bc i got a bible ad before the video. (Im not religious, and i haven't been for years, lmao.)
Join he club
I'm atheist, but I'm not afraid of using the Bible against them.
I don't view faith (religion) to be an inconvenience
But the people who is preaching it
Why because a lot of them hide their human biases in their faith.
Jevhovah witness when armageddon arrives and they learn that angels dont just look like a human with wings: 😭 😭 😭
Found it strange they ask who are you waiting to meet, then you are told nope, no reason to look into family trees etc omg don'nt go to a cemetary to check names & dates ! Neighbor freaked when I told her I'd been looking into my family's background. YES this " song" sounds Christmasy ! Their new angel stuffies is beyond ....just betond..,BUT you can't have an angel statue in your garden. LOL conventions out here don'nt let nonJWs go unless they are getting baptised. Hard to believe 8 yrs to watch their movie. I can not get how they REALLY believe the use of all their tech once all comes back to br, sittin chatting w Noah, Adam & Eve.. just bizzare..
8 yrs to watch a video. It's almost as if they're not prepping for the "Great Tribulation." Their cognitive dissonance is off the charts to where they can't recognize their contradictions & inconsistencies.
Panda, you are absolutely fucking hilarious. When you said you'd rather lose a kidney than sit through it again. Then the off-hand remark as you'd look forward to meeting Josef Stalin again made me choke with laughter.
THE RANDOM LAUGHING DOG CLIP TOOK ME OUTTTTT
For the Algo 🙌🏾
Boost
These must be the neatest, cleanest Hebrews in the neatest cleanest village in the whole middle east
"You're cute and all, but the Bible told me I can't hook up with you." 😂
This came out the same time I walked by JWs in the ministry at a book cart wow 👀👀 I thank the funny panda friend for making them so recognizable by literature and style
You always manage to post when I’m sad 🙏
Those conventions each time are getting crazier and making mistakes that reaveal the own mistakes of the illogical body
As a former non denom Christian, that song absolutely sounds like a Christmas carol😭
What a crazy religion
Bro the faith is not the issue
Is the people who preach it.
One punch man 😂😂 that’s a good one
There's no way the no cringe challenge has anything besides a 100% fail rate 😂
I went to the convention as a non-witness that's never even been to a meeting. AMA
29:26 oh hell yeah let’s really throw it allll the way back! If that’s the silent film I think it is, it even predates the JW stuff from 1914!
Before the song: “It can’t be as bad as All the Single Furries, right?”
After the song: “it was worse ;-;”
I cringed before I got here. 😝
Correct reaction
"The ends is just around the corner." it's the same thing since 1915. They turned the wrong way.
OMG NO-ONE in the entire WORLD is "Universally LOVED" by complete STRANGERS! Ugh these people are so nuts
The Beginning Of The Pioneer Segment Felt Like An Antidepressent Commercial 😂
>Joseph dissapears
all evidence seems to imply that he died
11:09
DUDE, WHY IS HIS FORHEAD SOO TALL
I made it to 6:55 without cringing, but that “she was deep” got me 💀
That ending was brilliant
Omg Pioneering is not a competition, JWs are so insecure, nothing is done out of love, everything is for show.
I got TWO “prayer and meditation app” ADS ON THIS VIDEO 😓
I'm having to go and already dreading it. I Hate sitting there for like 6 hours or something. Having to head the same damn thing, hearing that if I don't follow Jehovah's rule, I'll die and won't get to be with my family. Why does it have to be that way?? I love my family I don't wanna follow some guys rules and live in his world and do what HE wants. But I don't wanna lose my Family. It's so scary.
I understand that they're your family and I feel bad but I should tell you...they probably aren't worth it, since obviously they are delusional if they are JWs and if I were you I'd run immediately.
Just kill me along with the bisexuals. 🤣🤣🤣
I'm a Orthodox Christian ☦
I'm atheist and. Bisexual
Every day Panda posts is a good day. Con-Vention bashing is always my favorite content ❤❤
“Christmassy” (or how you write it) it sounds like a song from Barbie as the island princess😭😭😭
12:20 it’s more dignified to just ghost her than shit on her sexuality and yammer about his beliefs. What the fuck, his friend really thought he couldn’t just, idk, leave her alone?
No, for the sake of winning the moral argument.
Plus is JW propaganda.
You are a gift to the world! Love your whole channel.
you were right, that end song got me
Bro thinks he’s the biblical whirow 💀
The Laughing Dog jump scared the Jehovah out of me 😱
When the kid said “hook up.” As though premarital hookups with a straight girl would be fine and dandy with the GB? Also, man, that “good news” track was a huge letdown after all the hype. I thought it’d at least be on par with Thirst Trap Jesus cinematic score.
ol Joseph could kick it with the fam all the time he had a monopoly on hut furniture…and he does kinda just disappear after J hits his teens good point😂
My family was very close to being a JW family since my grandparents on my dads side are in the community and sometimes we had to go to church with them in summer, luckily my mom wasn’t a religious person so we never did any of the missions.
"WHAT is taking Jehovah SOOOOOOO long??!"
.......
The last speaker (in the blue suit jacket) looks like Kent Fisher....i was at patterson when he was there
12:37 jw Urkel’s lecture-omg, not even the nerdiest teenager would actually talk like that.
Their videos are SICKENING
went to bed last night listening to the last part, woke up, to a new part!!!
I usually win the cringe challenge. I'm very hard to cringe, but that final song got to me
even as a Christian, I absolutely love what you expose and I get a good laugh as well!
con-vention
Bro the head covering gave me serious flashbacks lmfao. My dad never was JW, so my mom always covered her head to give me studies.
Sign over your mortgage, grab your go bag . . Hit the road , flee to the mountains . By the time you figure it out . . . . YOUR HOMELESS ! 😢