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Jehovah's Witnesses made a NEW Jesus Movie.... IT'S BAD
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ABOUT ME: I’m a former Jehovah’s Witness who faded away from the religion around 3 years ago. The purpose of this channel is to provide concise, up to date information on the Jehovah’s Witness religion, along with humorous commentary aiding those who have left or are leaving the faith. I am a big proponent of religious freedom and critical thinking, and invite my audience to be kind, open minded, and always stay curious.
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SMASH that SUBSCRIBE button, or Aussie Gabriel will get you pregnant 👀
I... I'm a boy...
Please don't come at me, Aussie Gabriel xD
IM SORRY I’M SUBBING
NOT AUSSIE GABRIEL😭
@@Fortbuilder789 don't doubt holy Spirit.
Another reason this film sucks is because there isn't a single witness who went to acting school or has been professionally trained. So they have to try their best to imitate worldly actors.
Acting schools usually have artistic nudism.
I think the baby did alright
@@Theinfamouskiki411 the baby was too old to play the part 😆
It's beyond horrible.
@victorc2869 Wdym? You saying that when somebody gives birth their baby is not instantly 55? Wow I been lied to as a kid
WE GOT JESUS MOVIE BEFORE GTA 6
Man I'm waiting for a new Tiberium or Red Alert game from the C&C series, that'd get me way more stoked than GTA 6 and the gap between releases would be enormous.
@@titanomachy2217unfortunately EA doesnt care about anything other than ripping its customer base off with yearly sports games that get worse every year and loot boxes in said games and the other games they do.
We got Jesus movies before most stuff
There is a better movie that came out earlier than this called “The Passion of Jesus Christ”
@@df_productions that is an actually good, well researched movie.
Stephen Lett: Other biblical film are too violent
Also Stephen Lett: shows the child-massacre of Bethlehem...
Wait. What!
How hypocritical is this guy!
I can’t believe how boring and culty this film is. The constant drone of dismal background music, the typical JW dialogue, the wooden characters all make this a cure all for insomniacs.
It's unbelievably bad. The Last Temptation is so good.
Really blatantly boring and bad things make me too frustrated to put me to sleep lol
i nearly fell asleep watching this at the convention
A cure maybe. Or a cause for others, perhaps. Yikes.
Clean shaven jesus still haunts me to this day...
Wait fo the white fat Jesus in next episodes lol
And that beauty parlor hairdo!!!!
Don't you know that Schick and Gillette razor blades were available back then? Ha Ha, It haunts me to.
@@gisella1350 It was removed with wax ! 😂
We whitewashing jebus with these one!!!💀💀💀
For real...ugh...
I mean...have you seen what Jews look like? Do you think everyone that lived in the 1st century Near East was brown-skinned? You know Romans and Greeks and before them Hellenistic Philistines (racially akin to the Greeks, basically) and Phrygians (think Trojans, Greek-adjacent culture in Anatolia) lived in that part of the world. Alexander the Great created a massive empire in the 300s BC that stretched from Macedon to what is Afghanistan today, in a region called Bactria. Kandahar is literally named after Alexander, as it was Alexandria on the Oxus when it was founded. It became the center of the Greco-Bactrian Kingdom, and to the west of that was the Seleucid Empire, named after Alexander's general Seleucus, and to the west of that was the Ptolemaic Empire, which was Egypt after being conquered by Alexander and his friend Ptolemy was made pharoah. If you look at the oldest depictions of Cleopatra, she is shown with pale skin and red hair. This notion that no white people ever lived outside of Europe until the Age of Sail is ahistorical. There's no legitimate reason to believe Jesus simply could not have been a brown-haired, relatively pale-skinned man. Most people of his ethnicity living in the world today look that way, do they not? This belief that everyone that lived in Judea looked Arab is an example of an anachronism, a misconception created by knowledge of modern demography in the Levant, which was mostly populated by Arabs up until fairly recently. And historically, Arabs have not really seen themselves as brown-skinned anyways, I mean in the Quran it brags about how pale-skinned Mohammed was and says anyone that claims Mohammed had black ancestry should be punished severely. But my point is that up until the 7th century AD, the Levant was actually part of the Byzantine Empire, which was based in Constantinople and was populated predominantly by white people...whether you would consider them Roman or Greek is up for interpretation, but no serious scholar would suggest that the typical Greek or Roman would today be considered anything other than "White" or "Caucasian" in a census. I mean, you can try to insist that is all irrelevant because they're Greeks and Romans and Phrygians and Philistines and such that lived in that general part of the world in that general time frame, not the Hebrews themselves, but then I would just be curious to know: when do you think the bulk of the J_e_w_i_s_h (YT's comment censor algorithm doesn't like that word) population turned from brown-skinned to pale-skinned? And why would it be necessary that they be dark-skinned in the first place? I mean, what proof do you have of that notion? Because I have seen that assumption repeated so many times, but have never seen even an attempt at proving this presupposition. I guess you could claim that people would have to have dark skin at such a latitude in the desert, but Persians lived in the same kind of conditions and they were a pale-skinned, essentially white ethnic group up until becoming Arabicized during the Islamic conquest of Iran. You can still see modern Iranians that have little to know Arab admixture in their DNA that look as Europoid as any Irishman or Scandinavian, wish ginger hair or blond hair and blue or green eyes. I suspect the ancient Canaanites may have looked somewhat more like the Persians than the Arabs, considering how modern descendants of Jesus's ethnic group look. You can see some darker features with them, like they tend to have brown eyes and brown hair, and often quite curly or frizzy hair, but by no stretch of the imagination could they be appropriately called "dark-skinned" or even tan, usually. Jesus probably had dark hair and eyes but pale skin...which is how he is usually depicted. I've never seen these mythical European paintings of Jesus that make him look like a Scandinavian...he is consistently depicted with brown hair and eyes. Sometimes his eyes are blue, but he never has platinum blond hair or anything. I think we're being unfair to Medieval and Early Modern painters.
*little to NO, not know...lol
lmao chill @@titanomachy2217
@@titanomachy2217awesome explanation. Always upsets me when people assume Jesus looked looked dark skinned. In some ways, if you don’t believe in the scriptures, it makes sense. Historically, whiteness was seen in some way superior. I’d imagine if Jesus was very dark skinned in that time period, he would’ve been considered lowered. Even evidenced with Mohammed as you referenced. This is not to say it’s a right way of thinking, but trying to change a view of history because of modern ideals of equality is simply ignorant.
I'm an exmormon, and I've been binging your videos for the past few days. So interesting to see all the differences and similarities between the two different cults!
It's funny how Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses really dislike each other, but exmormons and exjws love each other. Bonding over some shared trauma!
Yesssss
I'm reading the Book of Mormon, just out of curiosity. It's pretty bland until Mosiah and Alma, where things get crazy.
I remember when two Mormons came to my door. I happily welcomed them in and they did their prayer and asked if I felt the burning. I didn't of course but I took their book and tried to read it but couldn't finish it. I will say though that their version of the afterlife is way cooler than the JW one.
Ex Baptist here. It's strange how much we are alike yet growing up often talked about how the other religions are wrong and that we are the one true religion. 😂 Guess we can all bond over trauma together
@@tintinismybelgian oh wow you're pretty brave! The Book of Mormon is such a mind numbing read. I would know, I read it like 6 times. 😆 If you want some really wild shit, you should also read the Book of Moses and the Book of Abraham.
I’m getting Mandela Catalog flashbacks…
Idk why but any religious stuff from watchtower remings me of the Mandela catolog or the boiled one/phen228. Always.
I deceived them, I deceived the Shepards.
This is the only time I don’t plan on seeing the movie OR reading the book.
I must admit, I've read the book, but not gonna watch the movie either 🤷🏻♀️
...P.S. Book is 💩, don't waste your time! 😆
@@simona_abwhat book?
@@4kMikle the bible! 😁
I read the book and the prequel (Old Testament) is so much cooler
@@ٴٴٴٴ_0 ikr?! Gives almost 'Dune' vibes
That angry “Noooo” scream deserves all the awards. Also I died of cringe.
Eve is holding a red mango.
And Adam goes and wastes it...that's the REAL "original sin": wasting food. For that, they were thrown out of the Garden of Eden. The snake story is a cover-up!
@@titanomachy2217 Mangos are disgusting... to me at least.
and doesn't even peel it before biting 😅
It is an apple mango. .
@@titanomachy2217 I think you're right
Ooooooh i remember this! It’s the ,,Don’t worry, Mary, Jehover is with you!”
Praise J'over
Just to think straight. Lemme ask. What is the greatest miracle ?
ðe jehoverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
"...but not with all those babies getting murdered instead of your son"
"No worries mate! For I am the Lawd."
14:05 "Sexual relations with a man.. girl nobody talks like this" LMAAOOO panda i'm sorry but I talk like that, ironically
Bill Clinton ah language
I talk and type quite formally, so yes I do indeed refer to sexual acts, or sex itself, as “sexual relations”.
@@DemiSuaton you seem like a middle schooler
@@DemiSuatonyour thesis papers must be fire bro 🔥🔥🔥
@@DemiSuaton you're not that formal man
I just want everyone to know that I had a nightmare the other night where the Jehovah's Witnesses were kidnapping people and making them colorblind.
So all you see in this is race and color?
Weirdly enough as a new convert I can totally see this happening.
Ok, I always wondered why it was ok for Mary to question how she could get pregnant but when Zachariah questions the angel he gets punished with mutism?? Which a fucked up punishment. Also did not know that Gabriel was an old white dude from Australia. 😂
Because one was a 14 year old girl and the other one was a high Priest whose job was to have faith in God. Good observation tho
Ask any questions before you get baptized, but question anything after you are baptized and you will be disfellowshipped!
@@Ocapela215 How could he know it was God messenger and not a Satan's trick ? How ?
@@garryiglesias4074 He didn't. Messed around and found out. Being mute was his proof.
@@garryiglesias4074 But seriously. He was made deaf and mute. Mary’s reply may well have been humble and merely seeking clarification, whereas Zechariah’s tone may well have been more rhetorical, dubious or scoffing. It would fit because of how cocky the priests were at that time. Also note that Zechariah doubts about a matter of nature that God has overridden before, when, for example, he enabled Abraham and Sarah to conceive in old age. But Mary wonders due to a vow of virginity she has already rendered to God. Thus she regards God, while Zechariah seemingly doubts God. Satan can only manipulate, and as a man of God, (according to biblical text) Zach was anointed; meaning protected under God.
Conspiracy theory: Gabriel was actually some sexy badass traveler who totally rocked Elizabeth & Mary's worlds. And they were talking about how transcendent the experience was and decided to tell BOTH their husbands it was an angel & holy spirit. 😅
Now that's a great idea for a movie!
Gabriel Dundee & Miley Cyrus in . . . SECOND COMING (Rated R)
IN THEATRES THIS CHRISTMAS!
One of the scenes could be (obviously a work in progress) . . .
(Interior - Mary's Bedroom)
GABRIEL:
"Sorry to interrupt your nightly prayers, but since you're already on your knees, I thought maybe you'd like to . . ."
MARY (interrupting):
Shut up Gabe! You can't win me over with your smooth talk and sparkly aura and (slowly steps towards Gabriel) glistening radiance and piercing eyes . . . and . . . manly biceps (looks longingly at Gabriel)"
GABRIEL:
"You have the wrong idea young lady*, I bedded another just minutes ago, your friend Elizabeth. You rebuffed my flattery and now I have found another, and her husband is quite the gracious cuck"
MARY:
When did you have sexual relations (🤣) with Liz? She can't satisfy you like I long to, as my fantasies are dark and sticky . . . VERY sticky"
NARRATOR: "With a firm, yet sensual hand, Mary grasps Gabriel's member"
GABRIEL: "My lady! What is the meaning of this?!"
MARY: "I've had a vision! I've been shown a prophecy!
GABRIEL: "A prophecy?! What have you seen?!"
MARY: " . . . That you, my sparkly tower of man-cake, are ready for a second cumming"
🎶Sexy po*n music starts🎶
GABRIEL: " . . . and what of your husband? He is sleeping not two cubits from where we are standing! What if he wakes?!"
MARY: "oh don't worry about him . . . he likes to watch. If the violent mixing of our oils causes him to stir, he will be quite pleased upon discovering that you've ravaged me. Now bed me my sparkly king!
😂😂🤣🤣🤣 I spent WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THIS COMMENT!
This makes more sense than any theory ever! Thank you for this amazing theory!!!! ^^
Angel appears in Joseph's vision putting his robes back on saying look it will be ok "a Sprit" knocked her up.....
Did Elizabeth even meet Gabriel, though? I thought it was just the husband.
Aussie time traveller.
Adam's sassy "hey pretty lady" look got me...like this should be this pure, family-friendly christian film, and there is sexy Adam ruining it all. Also, Zachariah (or rather the man that played him) acted ridiculously and Gabriel looks like a mascot for a detergent company. I'm not very well-versed in biblical texts, but wasn't Jesus originally called Joshuah?
Jesus is the translation of that name.
Adam does look like a good smash- I mean
I can't get over Himbo Adam.
To be fair, this Eve is pretty hot, I totally would.
The Angel Gabriel stealing voices like he's Ursula. Are we sure he's not the villain? 😆
I think he stole a voice. I just saw it like how wizard can mute you.
They done my boi Gabe dirty.
Pregnant by Holy Spirit = she totally cheated on you
I would even believe two eggs combining and developing into a child before "pregnant by the holy spirit" but I don't think that's ever been documented in humans... and when it happens in other species, I think the offspring usually dies before adulthood... and it would be only X chromosomes so it would wind up being female and essentially a clone of the mother.
Bro i always had theories on something like this 😂
Joseph's boys: Who's gonna tell him?
Elisabeth wasn't "advanced in years". Zac shot blanks.
And Mary copied a winning strategy.
Gabriel was a total chad.
Im shocked that Cristianity is so divided that forms of Christianity will call other forms of Christianity a cult.
True but also, they're right too. 😂
Nah just Mormonism and JWs are considered cults by other Christian denominations. Orthodoxy, Catholics, and Protestants mostly get along
Satire surely???
@@curiositypiqued6573 no
Its hard not be divided when your sacred text is mistranslated from the first verse.
7:20 how my french teacher looks at me after i say i forgot the pronounce of a croissant (top 10 moments before disaster)
lmao 🤣
"Dips out to Saudi Arabia for his next side quest" LMAOOOOOO
The " little enemy of god" quote fuckin killed me. Clamato came out nose onto my phone. Thanks
why drag humasn thugh archane system for 99/100 to eather goto hell or be rewarded nihillity instead just stoping on it then?
The reason why there is 4 of them is that they contradict each other. Are they that dumb to not see that?
The Bible Rashmoned the Jesus story?
Bro what?
Do NOT be a judge. You think that if witnesses don't tell the exact same story its automatically wrong.
What do you expect with four dudes doing shrooms...any form of coherence?
@@tonywood3660 There is no evidence for your claim. The Gospels have helped archeologists to find places: Pool of Bethesda, the Pool of Siloam, and the Temple Mount platform extension by King Herod. Yea sure
Angel: do not be afraid. Jehover is with you mate!
I like Hugh Jackman's Gabriel better. 🤣
The fact that Jehovah allowed all these infants to be murdered shows just how evil he is. Is that who you really want to worship? A complacent god?
He only allows the killing of babies between doing it himself.
So when does god step in Roman times middle ages ww1 ww2 Korean war middle east now
@@raymondkirkham3815 thank you for making my point.
Ok why does a new born baby already have its eyes open as soon as it is out and looks as clean as soap 21:25
Well according to Catholicism there was no blood or pain in Jesus' birth because Mary didn't inherit original sin 🙃
... accurate bible story? Why does that snake in garden Eden have no limbs? They lost it afterwards, didn't they? Dammmnnn
I swear, Mary is often depicted as wearing a hijab-like thing.
Look up images of the Theotokos.
If you look up where Jerusalem is on a world map, it might makes sense.
Jewish women were covered. Arabs and Jews are from the same part of the world and had similar views on the role of women.
It's called a veil
it’s a veil haha
“Babe, hear me out, it’s GODS baby-“
The Bible is so freaking weird and somehow JWs made it weirder
talent
The adan and eve scene looks like a perfume ad 😂 i was expecting a: eau di giogo, l'eau de l'eau di giogo
Ikr
11:31 Gabriel the Australian angel. you can tell he is pissed that he had to miss out on a great heavenly barbecue to deliver this message
The "land down under" playing killed me 😂
Fun fact. The gospel of Matthew doesn’t say the 3 wise men were present during Christ birth. But rather it says Christ was born during the days or Harod the king and the wisemen came in on those days to see. Sacred tradition says that they possibly visited Jesus when he was 2 years old (Harod was still king).
Harod asked the wise men to let him know when the Star appears and to report it to him so he may know the age of the child.
Later in Matthew 2:12 the kind realized the wisemen will not return to give him this information. Furious he is determined to kill all of the children of Bethlehem. Meaning Jesus would of been 2 years old during this time.
Matthew 2: 1 mentions Christ actual birth in Bethlehem which overlaps Luke 2:6-7.
But after this Matthew gospel leaps forward in the story of King Harod, which now we know is 2 years later. Which gives enough time for Jesus to be Presented at the temple and be circumcised which we believed happened in 40 or so days after Christ birth and king before the magi arrived at Nazareth in search of the king of Israel.
How tf does eve have brunette hair yet no sign of body hair like wtf does god just hate me
"ambushed by bad CGI" that has to be the best way to describe the scene 😂
Simple answer: They made their own to retcon the Bible scripture, because they believe some wacky and very non scriptural things. Tear out enough pages, pencil new ones in in crayon, and you and you get the JW vesion.
bro why is every angel an old guy? I thought old age was considered a sign of imperfection lol
Look at Jehovah,the original PLAYA. Go JayHoe,go JayHoe.
If the Watchtower didn't hide their child abusers, I would say that Stephen Lett would be an excellent early childhood TV presenter because he speaks exactly as if he were talking to 2-3 year olds. That says a lot about what these people take their followers for.
this movie is more painful than the hot cheetos i ate while watching this video
😂😂😂😂
The NWT verbiage is SO stilted. There are so many other Bible translations that have more natural wording. Also loved Lett’s little jab at the Passion of the Christ 😄.
The NWT was written to promote the god created by Watchtower.
Passion of Christ was really an amazing movie. I no longer believe in the Bible, but I can appreciate the story and how deep and emotional it can be. Usually the point of movies (“films”) lmao
You mean translations that talk about unicorns, and call an incinerator and the grave hell in order to support twisted pagan ideas and defame the character of God?
The garden of eden account is clearly allegory not meant to be taken literally. It's so incredibly obvious
Really and what makes you say that because of a talking snake? I have a really hard time understanding why people are so narrow sighted about God. If he can form your blood vessels out of dirt, I think that's just as much of a miracle in itself as a talking snake.
@@mattk791 But he CAN'T form your blood vessels out of dirt, magic isn't real. You know that Hinduism was around for thousand of years before Christianity and Judaism right? Their holy books make outrageous claims just like the Bible does but how do you know which one to believe? By wherever you are born? Your parents? Because I promise you that you didn't start believing in God on your own, you heard about it from other people.
Sure! Just like it is so obvious that your water came up with info and then your water arranged that info into a DNA code. Right?
@@Radrook353 People that lack belief in religion don't all claim to have the answers to how life and the universe began, we just look at the evidence and make the best decision by the knowledge we have, if that knowledge changes we change our opinions accordingly to match reality. Now religious people don't do things that way, instead they scream from the rooftops defending archaic belief that should have been discharged long ago. Hopefully you'll realize how absurd it is to say that a magical wizard created 2 humans out of dust 6,000 years ago, it's like religious people are adults that trade in Santa Claus for God and the lump of coal for Hell.
13:20
Mary wasn't a 20 years old woman, she would have been a 14 years old teenager by the standards of that time.
True, child sex abuse was rife at that time
We don’t know she was 14, but we do know that she was less than 20. Palestians Jewish women most likely married around mid to late teens.
@@kathybrem880
Kinda hard to say that since people in ancient times have a different view on who a child and who wasn’t. Once a girls a was 12 and was post puberty she was seen as adult by ancient standards. Was Mary 12? Maybe, but a lot of the sources I’ve read claim Palestinian Jewish women married later than Babylonian Jewish women.Around mid to late teens.
I did more research and it’s true the some Jewish women in ancient times married after 20. That means there was plenty who married at 17-20. How old was Mary? I would say more likely 15-17, then 18-20. Most Jewish women in her country didn’t married at 12 or 13. Marrying after 20 can happen but it was atypical. Weird, but girls were seen as adults before 16. I’m not going to judge god cause he isn’t human thus have an orange and blue morality.
She wasn't 14.
7:15 it is actually believed that the snake was the devil who tempted Eve. this is supported by the fact that God when punishing him implies that his legs will be taken from him, meaning that the 'snake' would have been more of a dragon instead.
17:55 i busted out laughing when you started playing land down under 😂
So you don't find a British actor, such as Mark Anthony, playing the role of a Roman strange? They do it all the time. It only bothers you when it is a film about Jesus? Strange!
@@Radrook353well, i didn’t mind it in Life of Brian because it’s a parody
I don’t have a problem with it in this per se, but I’m still gonna make jokes about it because it’s funny as hell
Now get over yourself and have a laugh with us
Dirty Panda, very well done!
Thanks for calling out the cult of JW’s. Best thing I have ever done is to flee the cult after 53 years in.
17:54 "Now I will rule the down-underverse!"
Just like to add a more fitting chorus for the 2024 convention song:
Good news: OUR good news,
PLOY TO CON mankind.
Praise Jah for NEW light!
Good news, OUR good news.
Preach with all your might:
"Good news, Christ is born"
ASTRAY, JUST LIES, CULT life🎶🎵
Happy convention!😊
Man Jesus once said don't have that tripe like mantay
@@CorbinLeonard-rp4et
Thanks!🤣
You know. Extreme channels , more extreme subscribers
Example is the dawah guys , they tell any bollocks they had in mind and their subscribers just cheer in joy whole being more bollocks in their defence.
If this show is a critic.then lemme guess......here comes the unthingking blashphemers.
@@EL-IZ-At-BETH-sarim and also be careful of gold diggers
White baby Jesus keeping with tradition.
That racial obsession what Ruins the United States. culture.
Honestly the reason the gospel seemingly tell different story’s is because the four books were written from different perspective not just by person but also by directive: Matthew focuses on the bare chronological life of Jesus, Mark goes more into his message and it’s deeper meaning, and Luke and John go more into the person of Jesus and who and what he is. Just to make clear.
I came to say the same thing. Witness testimony is easy to explain with differences but the key highlights are what's looked for.
The Stephan Lett noises throughout the video are killing me 💀
I know right?! very time he says "Jeeeesus" or "Baaaaaaah" I crack up XD
The snake at 7:00 is really interesting. They used what looks like an Emerald Tree Boa (possibly a green tree python, they look extremely similar).
Most TV shows will use ball pythons (a smaller python that maxes out at 3-5 feet but starts at less than 1), or maybe a burmese python or reticulated python ( 20 feet max and 30 feet max, respectively, Brittney Spears had an albino burm in that one video) if they have a bigger budget. They usually choose these snakes because
A) they're relatively common pets and are easy to acquire, and
B) they're pretty chill, especially the ball pythons, and are non venomous.
Their teeth aren't huge and terrifying either. But the problem with chosing the chill snakes is that anyone who knows about snakes can't take the scene seriously because they have this animal that's supposed to be scary, but then they use the cutie patootieest little baby ball python. It ruins the atmosphere.
Emerald tree boas, however, are non venomous, but still kind of dangerous. They are not very chill, and they have these crazy xenomorph teeth that you for sure don't want biting you (watch "adorable emerald tree boa yawning." It's not actually adorable, and i love snakes).
I just think it's interesting that they chose a non-tv snake. I guess it's safe since the cast doesn't interact with it, and I actually appreciate using a snake that's not a complete derp like a ball python to represent the devil, plus the fact that it's not at all out of place in a tree in a lush jungle because that's where they live in real life, but I'm also like, "I really hope you have a trained handler on set for that lil guy, because some of them know to go for the jugular."
3:40 What a garbage translation. If john wanted to write a god, he would have to write: "Enas Theós" but in the text, he just writes: "Theós" which literally translates to just 'God.' It's not a translation, errors. They're just lying.
Infact, in John 1:6 why don't they translate "egeneto anthropos apestalmenos pará Theou onoma autou Ioannis" , ".....as a representative of A God"??
30:39 missed opportunity to put a bottle and glass of whiskey on the boardroom table 😂
It says a lot about the JW cult leaders that they teach their followers to believe the deity that spends the whole Old Testament ordering the Israelites to carry out atrocities is basically infinitely superior to the guy that is like "Yeah, maybe we can be forgiving rather than condemning anyone that violates a commandment to death. Love thy enemy. Love thy neighbor as thyself."
The sad "Baaah" you use, where is it from? It's been living in my head since I watch your channel
But he did NOT have sexual relations with her! - Thanks for clarifying that, dear Jehover 😂🤌
I like to imagine god being portrayed by Bill Clinton. 🤣
@@Where_is_Waldo was God on the Sodom and Gomorrah flight logs?
I love how they constantly use the name Jehovah despite that being a terrible mistranslation.
Nice video, mate!🤣
This JW 'Gabriel Dundee' bloke just is hilarious...
It's a hell lot better with these soundseffects!
Yes, they all come from a land down under...
But fleeing to upstate New York?!?
'Gabriel Dundee' 😂😂🤣🤣🤣
OMG, I read that and laughed so hard it woke up my girlfriend!
Well played! I think you officially win the internet for this! 🙂👍
This was so freaking funny, keep it up kid, the best part was the super popular Mary in Mexico amazing humor
we got australian gabriel before GTA6
Why does his face move like 😭. Oh and when I was like 9 or 10 I watched a Jesus movie n OMG I was traumatized, the amount of death SA/rxpe, dehumanization and humiliation that was shown in that 2 or so hour movie caused me nightmares for DAYSS! These movies are no way 1. Family friendly, or 2 educational. They didn’t educate me, they traumatized me
That’s not a biblically accurate angel.
Actually it is, it was common for angels to appear in human form unless otherwise stated which is rare.
It's kind of weird how conventionally attractive and well-groomed they made adam and eve. They look straight out of a shampoo commercial
18:52 what grown adult would believe their own dreams?
I'm a lucid dreamer, I see dead people in my dreams all the time and I tell them they're dead, or they only exist in my mind, but they don't seem to get too upset by it. I wonder what that says about me.
Grown adults in biblical times
@@cygnustspdepends if you believe that’s a physical reality your experiencing, or a construct of your constant neuron firing brain.
Uriel Septim IV
I mean even psichology gives meaning to these. I think it's pausible to believe them.
And this film having an Aussie narration…as an Aussie we don’t claim this bloke
I agree, there are so many improvements that could have been made.
Show Zach and Lizzy's struggle with, and sadness over, childlessness, so the viewers can root for them.
Show Mary's uncertainty and trepidation over the pregnancy, before Lizzy's greeting gave Mary confirmation and validation.
Shoot, Christendom pop star Amy Grant's song, "Breath of Heaven" did a better job of humanizing Mary in a few lines than this drama did.
I know that Watchtower is trying to do a line by line reenactment of the Bible, but the Bible is not a screenplay. 😅😅
Even the 'wordly' "The power of Love" by Frankie goes to Hollywood has more sincere emotions...
Shout Pandatower for the Friday morning movie review to start my day 🫡 baaaaa
Great commentary. Not only is the movie boring but it constantly amazes me that countless millions actually believe this nonsense.
since so-called blacks the first people on earth,should they be represented as adam and eve?
Yep...
Why is Eve holding a mango all dramatically lol
Panda, all of your lil' panda graphics are so heckin' expressive and adorable. 10/10 would choose a red panda as my paradise pet.
So, was everyone in Iron Age Israel… Australian? 🙃🙃
You're giving the JW translation of John 1:1 way too much credit. No other linguistic scholars insert the article "a" into that passage.
That doesn't actually prove anything, if anything, that's just a dum ass statement chief
29:20 okay but can we just wait and think about how HORRIBLE joseph must have felt when he heard that??? Like I don't care if it's a god child but to raise a son and to then have teh same son address someone else as father just sounds so painful
Joseph: He may have been your father, boy, but he ain't your daddy.
23:18 This shot looks like it was produced by some non-Pixar/Dreamworks studio in 1999
Love your vids! Fun little fact, the literal translation of John 1:1 actually ends with "and God was the Word." There is literally no room to translate it to the way they have done so in their version of the Bible. There is more room to debate whether or not "the Word/Logos" is explicitly referring to Jesus in this passage vs a deeper philosophical concept than there is over the translation (which theirs is explicitly false).
You mentioned Superbook! The characters’ eyes in that series creeped me out when I was a kid! 😂
I remember when I was a little kid my JW mom made me whatch Superbook. For some reason Superbook was being shown in the national television here in Albania in that time 😂😂😂😂
If JWs condemn violence in religious films, then I wonder how their series will depict Jesus' crucifixion...
Panda tower using the song land down under by men at work almost every time Gabriel was on screen made me die 😭💀
In space, nobody can hear the Word! Cuz, y'see there's no air in space to conduct sound.
I guess they were “little enemies of god”??? That’s what Stephen Lett thinks.
The Chosen is a great movie
The Passion of the Christ great movie
Even the older movies have more authenticity than this!
Poor David. Mary cheated on him, and got the whole town to gas-light him into believing that his bastard son was going to be a prophet by pretending to be angels and whispering through the walls 😂
The angel Gabriel was way cooler in the movie Constantine
Love that movie
Isn’t jehova’s witnesses just a modern version of the arian heresy?
Many of these older men are probably elders, and somehow in volved in the ARC. Lol.
I think the reason it was over an hour-long is because they plan on using it for a JW meeting/ worship service. The long pauses are so that people can meditate on each segment. (or just stare into the distance, their choice.)
Appreciate the work panda. You rocking it
14:30 "Daaamn the Holy Spirit's getting more action than me!" LMAO! 🤣😂😇 Love you Panda!
An uncle Tony sighting and multiple baaahs, your best work yet Panda
Just want to point out that I like the different video game musics in the background while your talking. Nice touch 😊
And most definitely more entertaining and touching (childhood memories) than that thing watchtower calls a movie.
All i was thinking was " how the hell did Mary get such white teeth "
Does Jesus mention the governing body at any point during the movie? Or is it like subliminal advertising in Hollywood movies
15:11 dude i totally lost it here! 😂
So Jehovah can create a whole universe. But not clothing for Adam and Eve?
5:39 What is that face?
5:49 Awkward Quiet Place feet shot.
5:59 No wonder Jehovah didn't want them to eat the apple. The apple doesn't even look like an apple. Too bad the all knowing creator didn't think to not leave poison out in the open.
5:57 *Awkward staring intensifies*
6:33 Snake: "WILL YOU QUIT AWKARDLY STARING AT ME?!" >:(
13:11 Gabriel: "Do not be afraid Mary. You are going to be forcibly impregnated by an eldritch- I mean Jehovah God to give birth to his son."
Mary: "What?"
Gabriel: "Refuse and he won't even allow you to have the sweet release of death..."
I'm done. Were just play things for a tyrannical sadistic monster. Hey Scarlet King can you destroy the universe? Thank you my dude! :)
as an australian hearing their accents is hilarious. i’m waiting for big j to drop the ‘yeah nah mate’