Take These SMALL Steps to Connection
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2024
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It's normal for people who were traumatized in the past to feel REALLY uncomfortable making small talk and connecting with strangers. I teach strategies to gradually stretch your social boundaries so you can feel more comfort and ease on the street and in social situations. In this clip, I share two clips from one of my most popular videos about ways we suppress ourselves.
FULL VIDEO HERE: • Some People Lash Out. ...
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Thank you I needed this!
Very True Anna 🎉 CIVILITY, Have a Wonderful Day 😊
That's great advice! But don't talk to strangers you're passing on the street in Germany please, you'll just confuse them. 😂
If it may work differently due to cultural differences, try with your neighbors :)
Nika@TeamFairy
Or anywhere in Europe 😂
I don’t know--in Holzkirchen (village in Munich), people were friendly and chatting with one another…
There are a lot of people desperate for conversation/connection. They’ll continue to talk as I walk away; or they don’t let you get a word in because they know you trying to leave what they think is a conversation.
Sorry...
@@johnharrison2511i think what she meant is that you don't let that happen. you keep your boundaries firm, you find the phrases or acts that means you can only say "hello" or "take care" and leave. then it is safe for you to say hello.
this is something i struggle with immensely, i always feel like people force me into interactions with guilt or the uncomfortableness of awkwardness. but I've been realizing that no one can actually make you do anything you don't want to do.
they can not *literally* make you continue the convo and stay there. you just have to try to find what helps you get away. best of luck! i know how frustrating it can be 🙏🏻
oh and if they continue to do something that is fully their choice and affects them after you've made it clear it's not something you are willing to be a part of (like continuing to talk as you walk away after saying goodbye) that is on them!
you don't owe them a hearing ear, you don't owe them guilt, you owe yourself the freedom to walk away after you've completed the interaction respectfully and clearly.
There certainly are people who refuse to shut up, I sell at the market twice a week and certain people are constantly in my way as I'm packing up and loading my vehicle. Last week as a storm was approaching and my $140 tent was starting to blow away, I said " 'X', could you please have some mercy?" and she actually apologized and ran away to her vehicle (still talking even though I wasn't listening). I extend decency to those who respond decently but I no longer abandon myself. There are ways of maintaining boundaries that are inoffensive and the satisfaction of having kept things as light and friendly is immense.
@@jesuisegeThank You for explaining the point further. It helps it to sink in. Which is great, because lately I have been trying to establish better boundaries.
I think sometimes the difference between being awkward and being 'cool' is really only the self acceptance.
For me if I can manage to establish a standard practice, it can become the new pattern that I will then follow.
Thanks ☺️🙋
I'm terrified of my neighbors. Well, everyone, really. It's hard for me to do yardwork because I'm so fearful of having to interact with anyone.
I try to smile at everyone i pass, it does bright up my live tremendously, even if they don't react or if they start a (too)long conversation😊 It is always better then no connection at all and walking around on this planet anonymous ❤
With every video like this i m improving myself day by day. And very soon on my 25th bday i target to have changed, healed, transformed into awesome version of myself. Bday is in january. Can u guys share more channels and advices and helps like this? Can really use help this time 😊
Happy Birthday for January ☺️🙋🎂
@@johnharrison2511 oh thank you john 😄😁🧡✨
Jan Bommerez, he is Dutch but lives in the usa, traumahealing, good luck ❤
@@marijkevv11 unfortunately i dont speak dutch but thank you 🤍🩷😄
@@LemonAdeFirst1I really can tell that you deserve a great day at that special milestone in life..
Regarding other channels, I do like "Doctor K"..
That neuroscientist "Lieberman" can be good too sometimes.
This channel is the best I have found so far.. Similar to yourself, I think I am benefitting a lot, but it's one step at a time, and I know it will take some time.
By January ? Maybe !!
Today I had an old gf reconnect and that really meant a lot to me..
I also meet people who I think are far worse than myself so I am learning to be kinder to myself as well.
I usually dread my birthday but you have inspired me to try and see it in a much better way than usual.
As we improve, so does everything else !!
Sincerely Best Wishes and thank you !! ☺️🙋
Good stuff here
Glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy
Quite funny how you know all of this !! It can be like a dance of avoidance.
I generally train people to make themselves known.
Do not sneak up on me or suddenly appear.
How many people can I pretend not to see today ?
In the South there is always that "how's your mama" conversation. Mostly people are friendly and I try to make some small talk so I can connect a bit. I am very much an outsider here. When people like me they think I think just like them. I can't get any deeper relationships because I am not religious. There is allot to be said civility.
I love this, thank you! I'd add re the neighbors one, don't physically stop if they're chatty. Be friendly and kind but keep moving and getting in the car or whatever. Give them a smile and cheery wave, too, as you drive off.
I wave at all my neighbors while I'm walking my dog. I get mixed responses. Only a few wave back. Most ignore me, refusing even to look. Some will actually scold me for walking too close to their property.
YES! It helps especially when you're feeling down. I do it regardless, but helps too on a bad day.
You’re the best Anna! Preordered your book and can’t wait to put my hands on it and read it on my 10 hour flight. Heartfelt thanks for helping us all 💞
My problem is i smile at everyone in the hopes of getting one smile back, i rarely do, but when i do, my whole day is better. Truthfully it really hurts when no one acknowledges you exist, they dont even move, they expect you to move.
Anna it feels awesome being a born again Christian in this great Commission. I'll be here in the Los Angeles inner city Metro Platforms and Beaches reaching out for the Lost. I felt a calling on my life.
They put my oldest son in prison for years when I walked out into the street & started talking to my neighbors. Florida is different.
❤❤I respect you for just being you.
That's SO me!
Thank you.
Hello, Anna❕
Thanks, Anna!