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You think you're giving advice for dealing with depression in a marriage... but I think you're dishing out absolutely great advice for ANYONE in a relationship...
I'm in my car, listened to this on the drive, and this made me break down and cry, because I have felt like I was going through this alone and nobody could possibly understand.
As a kincarer, this video has been helpful and applicable for me caring for a child from a tough upbringing and wrestling with mental and emotional struggles. So thank you for your insight, wisdom, and your honesty in sharing what you've learned in your own journey. Regularly coming before God and asking for help to see His love for me, to see His love for them, and for me to love them how He does, has been one of the best ways for me to overcome resentment with love. And I will continue to lean on Him.
I had to type that out it was just too powerful: "I choose you, and I'll choose you over and over, without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I'll keep choosing you and I choose you in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of life, I'd find you and I choose you."
This video was so calming. My spouse and I both suffer from mental illness and it's hard supporting him while also trying to support myself. These tips were really helpful to me, thank you 💕
Thanks for the Video clip! Sorry for butting in, I would appreciate your opinion. Have you ever tried - Lammywalness Erase Depression Guide (erm, check it on google should be there)? It is an awesome one of a kind product for beating depression fast without the headache. Ive heard some incredible things about it and my GF after many years got cool results with it.
I needed this I have a boyfriend who has depression before we meet he was fine because we both started our walk with Christ and it was a beautiful time but as real life started kicking in his mental issues kicked in outta no where and sucked up our relationship I love him dearly I see the person he is outside of this & I just wanna learn to love him correctly because I can take it personal as well . I always ask God to give me the strength to love Him & be there for him the best way I can but I also have to make sure to make time for myself because it can get overwhelming but I know my love for him is stronger then his mental illness
OMG this brought tears to my eyes because everything you said is what I'm going through me and my wife but I'm learning about this whole depression and anxiety thing. She also has chronic fatigue!!! Thank you so much for making this video
I am so glad to hear that it was a help. I don't know if you caught this other video I did with my husband, but you and your wife may find it helpful to watch and discuss together. I wish you well. th-cam.com/video/iYnnfbNNEL0/w-d-xo.html
Hello Lisa, I really appreciate you sharing your experiences, I am a care giver to my Mother in law with depression and early stage of dimentia and a care giver to my husband that suffered with depression. Our marriage last 9 years now because we believe Loves Win. Sending you Love and positive energies.
This video saved my life and hopefully my marriage. We have suffered for years and just couldn’t put the pieces all together. Thank you so much for posting this!!! ❤
OMG this helped me so much and thanks so much. My spouse struggles with depression and I hate it for him so I’m glad to come across this. Just want to support/help him the best way I can. I greatly appreciate this and will remember and use all of these.
Here's the thing, the decades of sacrifice and attempts to help my spouse 'behind the scenes' has equalled a life less lived while I prop him up. He refuses help, or medication and resents me to the point I don't receive love from the partner I love, I receive all the male version of depression from aggression, negativity, irritation, walking on eggshells. I've tried ALL THOSE THINGS while unconditionally loving him. But there is a point in time there is no return in that love and to stick around means I'm a shell of my former self.
So….when your wife is depressed and has high anxiety, and you love them, you sacrifice, you are patient, you are strong, you take on more of the responsibilities, you are always aware of their feelings and tailoring your feelings and expectations of them and you are the one giving , sacrificing, and being the one who is having to be the supporter…..and over the course of months…..NOTHING changes or gets any better……what do you do as the caregiver when you are finally running on empty?
I cried watching this in the first 2 minutes! I’ve been binging all your videos on this subject. I’ve been married for 8 years.. we have 4 children. my husband suffers from depression and we didn’t know till just this past year but we both have been suffering from the effects of it since the beginning. We just had no idea what was “wrong” . Your videos really are an answer to my personal prayers. Everything you say I shake my head yes! I can relate to you immensely! Feeling doom and completely encompassed by this illness. The journey is HARD. we are in counseling and getting medicinal help.. I hope to say one day that we are stronger on the other side of this. Thank you for sharing you’re story.
Thank you for watching and sorry for the late reply! I am so glad that they connected with your experiences, and happy to hear that you have found counselling. You can get through this and come out on the other end stronger.
I’m in the same boat but my husband does not want to be put on medications but also isn’t doing anything else about it. He says he likes to write poetry but rarely ever get to it . He’s always had depression and anxiety which I have always been aware of but he didn’t openly say so until 2 years ago. We have been together for going on 12 years now. His mom who is in her 80s also battle with depression and anxiety and doesn’t think that she needs help. So we’re battling a generational pattern where they both like to one up people to make themselves look better, blame people for their own way of thinking and says things that they don’t mean but never come back to apologize . My husband is way into deep because growing up and even now in present day, she makes him feel worthless. She has a total of 8 children and she does this to all of them as well but my husband has a lot of childhood trauma from his upbringing from his dad and mom so he doesn’t know how to handle his triggers well . Also, he’s closest in distance to his parents than his other siblings are so he takes the most mental beating from her. He will never cut her off, but he is not putting up boundaries either but also seems to mirror her behavior as well. I signed divorce papers in Nov and we have been doing therapy for the last 3 months but he seems to be ok with where we are only when he’s in a good mental space but when he’s not, we always have explosive arguments . The pattern just keeps going in circle and we’re always back at square one. I agreed on giving our marriage a second chance but when it affects my mental health and also how I am as a mother, I want out. Does anyone have any advice ? I want to be supportive but feel like I’m not the right person to make him see his own potential and self worth. He seems to think that just because his siblings don’t cut off his mom, that I will stick around when he acts the same way with me as well. I’m not going to but not sure how much longer I should sit and wait to see if anything changes .
I’m so thankful for you I really needed to understand the other side. I deal with anxiety and my bf deals with depression but I feel so sad because I was not handling it the way I should’ve have. And that was because I was not educated!!! But I am taking the steps to help myself and him so we can hopefully have a better future🖤
Hi Kayla, so glad to hear that it brought some insight. Lisa and I did a conversation together that might speak to what you and your bf are experiencing. th-cam.com/video/iYnnfbNNEL0/w-d-xo.html
Could you please tell how do you deal with how you feel? And hiw do you help him to feel loved and maybe hooeful? I know depression (in some cases) doesnt get better, it doesnt go away. But he has told me some stuff thats cares me. Seeing a psychologist is not an optiom for now. I want him to know im here and even if I dont know what to say I want him to feel like im listening and going to support him no matter what (have told him but I know its two different things) Im in that position too (I have anxiety and he has depression) and I often feel like im not good enought for him, and I feel kinda useles because I often dont know what to say after he talks about his feelings. I dont want him to feel like I dont care about it. I often told him that thing will get better (I heard is not a good thing to say tho)
Your video popped up on my home feed totally unrelated to the content selection that will usually pop up there... it was so random BUT It was timely, eye opening, informative and I'm balling my eyes out. My cup was empty empty empty and I was feeling so defeated today with zero energy to emotionally support my partner and everything has been getting on my nerves. Thank you thank you thank you for reminding me to draw from the love I have for him, to stop sweating the small petty stuff, to take time for my own self care so I can be my best self for him... I choose him. May you and your family be always blessed
I thought I replied to this comment! I was very moved by it and saved it but I guess I forgot to reply. Thank you very much for your feedback. My husband and I are working on starting a charity that mainly assists the supporting spouse (like yourself). Say a prayer for that and I hope we will have more to offer you soon.
thank you for this. Me being a Christian, Gods promises always gives me strength. But yeah at times its so so hard. you encouraged me very much. May God bless u and your husband.
Just found your channel today!! Thank you so much for the wonderful advice and for assuring us that we are not alone. I am newly married (yay!) and still learning how to deal with my husband’s occasional moments of depression. Your advice of “do it with love” really resonated with me and I am hoping to be more positive and selfless. Again, thank you!
I’m in the gym right now searching for the solution on how to deal with my wife who’s having anxiety depression. I had enough and i want to die, I’m tired. You’re video helps me realise that I should understand her.
I really appreciate this video... and I know you're absolutely right. It's still so very hard. I grew up with high expectations of what my wedding day, wedding night, and marriage would look like. It ended up being much lower than what even normal couples face. I want to say I'd choose him a thousand times over, but I'd probably be lying. I am going to my first ever counseling session tomorrow and I hope she can help me work through these emotions, because I do love him and I wouldn't ever abandon him. Life just hurts so much sometimes.
@@ThePossibilityMom you're so kind, thank you for asking! 😊💖 counseling is helping. Knowing that he really does love me helps, and I do love him. We're learning to celebrate and focus on the good days, and not dwell on the episodes/ bad days. Thank you for these thoughtful encouraging videos, they are much appreciated 🙂
my wife being in depression makes me feel like I'm heading in the same direction. It makes me feel worthless that no nothing that I do can help her. It makes me feel like I'm the one that caused it because of something I had said. To me it feels like the spouse who has to take care of a husband or wife that has depression is almost if not more suffering worse or at least to the same degree. I am a fixer if I can't fix your problem I just I can't handle it I can't acknowledge it I don't know what to do and it stresses me into massive anxiety the only way I can deal with my wife's depression is to just not acknowledge it and tell her you know there's nothing I can do to help her I've tried and nothing works because if I sit there and keep worrying about it I'm harming myself as well
This is what I'm going through. My wife has been depressed 6months after marriage and we've been married 3yrs. I'm a fixer too. At some point she made me feel I caused her depression I live with that until a counselor told me I didn't caused it. I'm starting to feel affected emotionally because of her depression depression. Don't know what to do cuz I feel stuck.
For me it's pretty much the same. How ever I won't give up on her. Because she is such a fantastic person who is so kind. But the circumstances were/are hard for her and she has depression. That's not by choice but I can make a difference. I can think more often about her, I can communicate better (I'm very bad at this) and just improve myself to try to become a better person. So don't give up, be honest to yourself and work hard on yourself. Do it not just for your wife do it for yourself. Have a great day
@@renovogler5919 recently my wife went to her primary care doctor and they gave her a temporary higher dosage a different depression medication. It took seven or eight days like the doctor told her to but for the past 4 days it has been a complete 180 depression has disappeared she's not laying around in bed staring at her phone all day I mean she has like reorganized the whole house and cleaned everything and has been leaving the house with the dogs and actually doing things that she enjoys again so thankfully for me things recently have started looking up.
Can’t believe I’m just finding this video! My fiancé has had on and off chronic severe depression since I met him but it has never been as bad as it is now. It hurts to see him not as himself and how he thinks this is him, when it’s the depression. It definitely requires a lot of effort and patience in supporting. I guess a question I have is about the anger and irritability that comes with their depression. Aside from pushing me away, he can be extremely mean to me on a daily basis now and he just wants to be alone. When I leave him alone, but let him know I’m there for him, he still makes it seem like I’m not doing what he needs. I’m at my ends meet between him not wanting to take getting professional help seriously and being the everyday punching bag for his depression. He doesn’t want to communicate with me, and I completely understand that, but I don’t know my threshold of what I can take with the anger etc. I love him and the life we’ve so far built together and have planned, but I have no idea what more I can do without losing myself in the process.
Michelle Ranae Gamble reading that is like I’ve wrote it myself as I’m going through the same thing. I am being pushed away. I’ve tried everything. I went to his place with a bag full of self care items and a letter but he refused to get out of bed to see me and begged me on the phone to leave because I was making him mad. He just isn’t ready to see me or anyone right now. I’ve never seen him so bad, it’s like I’ve lost my partner and my best friend. He just wants to be left alone so like you said all can do is take a step back and wait for him to realise he has be the one to seek help. He tells me he will ring the doctor and then doesn’t. I’ve given him numbers to call and text for support. He’s not interested. Not sure what else to do. Sending you lots of love. Hope things get easier for us xx
Savannah Jade I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this too! I’ve been depressed before as well too, but to be on the opposite side this time is definitely eye opening as well. It’s good to know we’re not alone in trying to support our loved ones to the best of our ability. Much love and thoughts to you and I hope we all come out of it better and stronger!
Speaking from experience.. if his family is not supportive with his depression and you are alone in this.. you need to think if you can live this way. Please speak to someone to help YOU sort this out for you.
I am the severely depressed/anxious husband. I feel like a burden because I don’t know who I truly am anymore. Your supporting suggestions are no less than BRILLIANT. Thank you so very much for sharing. I hope your words bring ease to all!
I am so glad that it resonated with you. I don't know if you caught any of the videos my husband and I did together, but you are not alone in what you are going through. th-cam.com/video/iYnnfbNNEL0/w-d-xo.html
This has been so helpful for me, its been tough and I didn't know that there was support for such. Thank you so much for this. We aren't open enough about how mental illness affects marriages and truly support systems are crucial for the spouses of those suffering mental illness.
One key difference between man and women is that women generally just want a supportive ear from a number of friends who listen, while men generally want solutions or ideas and will chose a very small number of close friends to share with.
This is a wonderful video & helps so much. Thank you for your advice. 🖤 my husband and I both have this twisted mental illness called depression & it’s extremely hard for both of us. We have 4 children & they’re all under the age of 5. This makes it really really hard to cope with basically anything because we’re doing our best to be great parents as well as make each other happy. We love our children & we love each other, but life gets so overwhelming sometimes. I really enjoyed this video & it made me realize a lot of things.
I need help, my husband is suffering from depression for a long time. He became so angry and screamed with a little thing. He gave me suicidal threats. I'm so stressed out and I don't know how to handle it. Its so frustrating . I love him so much and don't want to leave him. Can anyone please give me advice
Thank you so much I especially need to be in prayer about not being resentful because about the time my husband started his depression almost a year ago I was going through a very good time in my life and I’ve been kind of resentful that he’s brought me down so much but of course he never meant to, and he would like to feel good himself.
In a dark spot in my marriage. And is so hard to open up bc I don't feel like I matter. Listening to you I cry sadly my heart aches. A feeling only I can feel but hard to express it out
My wife has suffered from depression for 10 years (started with post partum) 4 kids later and I begged her to get help she is now a very new recovering alcoholic. She has lost her "person" because we both were bickering and he couldn't take it. Her mom got super involved and was trying to talk to me and felt she may need to be forced to go for treatment. I didn't pursue. Now my wife is says she hates me and her mom and will never forgive me and believes I'm trying to control her. I love her but think I'm losing her and don't know how to help because she sees it as control. I've told her it's because we care and love her but she thinks that's a lie and gets extremely angry. My oldest 9 has caught on and my wife believes I'm turning them against her when I tell them mommy is just sad and needs to go talk to someone but is scared and won't. I'm feeling hopeless
Sorry for the late reply and so sorry for the extremely difficult situation you are in. Have you sought counselling for yourself? This could help you manage your own feelings about the situation, and could provide some clarity and encouragement for her to try it when she is feeling strong enough. I also wonder if she might be open to watching this other video we did with her. It can help to hear two sides to the situation. th-cam.com/video/iYnnfbNNEL0/w-d-xo.html
Really glad to hear it helped, Michael. If you are looking for more on this topic I have a playlist of videos here: th-cam.com/play/PLimedAda1Ym2eNQl17AZyYIjU1yA9V_Af.html Blessings.
Your video made me cry. My husband is going through it and our marriage is struggling. I will try your recommendation on this video. May I have Canada help line number to talk. Thank you sooo much for making this kind video
Thank you Lisa. My partner and I are both living with mental illness and we are trying to be there for each other. Sometimes we win, sometimes we learn. But I wouldn't do this with anybody else
I am so glad it was a help. We are doing well, and actually starting to talk about this topic a lot more. We are starting a non-profit to dedicate more time to speaking to couples dealing with this issue in their marriage
Hi Lisa. I’ve been watching lots of your videos and thank you for giving hope. I am currently in need of advice. I have a boyfriend with depression of almost 4 years and we’ve been on an on and off relationship due to his depression. He is living in a different country and a month ago he went to my country and we were planning on getting married in a few months and settle down. However, after a week of being here, he decided he just wants to go back to his country and he said he doesn’t know what he’s doing and he feels useless. I’m at loss at what to do now. I love him so much and I want him back.
Love Yabao gosh I am so sorry, that sounds so hard. The big thing honestly I think your partner might need is to be reminded of who he really is. That he is not useless, and that he is loved ❤️
Lisa Canning thank you for your reply. I talked to him recently and he said he’s just been sleeping as much as he can since he sees there’s no point in being awake. 😔
@@loveyabao5093 I can relate to that feeling. It's hard, and the feeling is real but it doesn't reflect reality. Every day is full of opportunity and potential (I have to remind myself of this when it doesn't feel like it). It must be really hard for you to try to support him from afar. Do you see him investing in his mental health in any way? Seeking counselling, reading up how to think differently (CBT), etc? He would need to be committed to getting as healthy as possible in order for your relationship to work.
Josh Canning Hi Josh. Thank you for your reply. These days he seems to be feeling better now that he’s gone back to his home. I’m not sure if he’ll be doing therapy but he’s taking antidepressants.
@@loveyabao5093 that's good news. It is a journey, living with mental illness and while it's never easy, there is power in working on yourself. Best wishes.
My girlfriend drops off on the affection when she gets a depressive episode, my love langue is words of affirmation and physical touch this makes it hard on me to be able to be there for her when I can't feel fully loved. What should I do?
Yo I needed to hear 👂 this because my wife is going threw depression and it's ruff for me cause I really want her to be back to her usual self cause I love her so much
I am glad it was a help, Travis. I hope that you guys can find hope within the struggles. My husband and I did another video that you might watch together with her to help her talk about it. th-cam.com/video/iYnnfbNNEL0/w-d-xo.html
My fiancé is depressed. What makes it extremely hard for me is that, I've been depressed too due to very low levels of Vitamin D. It was difficult, but I bounced back by speaking positivity into my life.. I made the decision to be happy. I try help her in the same way, but everything I try ends up futile. I always try to encourage her, but she always feels she's not good enough. It saddens me because we (and her individually) have had so many breakthroughs and God has blessed her SO MUCH!.. literally, her life has done a 180 from the worst of the worst, to the very best. For example, she's upset she's starting university at age 23 as she feels behind. But I always try telling her that 23 is still young, and there's nothing wrong in when she starts university, she'll probably still be one of the youngest in class... but I just cannot reach her.
You're right, it is still young! My husband started university at 22. Do you think it would be helpful to grab some popcorn, watch this video together and discuss? th-cam.com/video/iYnnfbNNEL0/w-d-xo.html
I’m hoping this will help tonight my husband has severe depression he feels worthless so I hope this will help him. Let him know I love him and hear him out
If you are watching together, this one may connect, as it has my husband sharing his experiences as well. I hope your conversation goes well and that you both understand each other. th-cam.com/video/iYnnfbNNEL0/w-d-xo.html
I’m very sorry to hear that. My husband recorded some thoughts on the spiritual side of that here th-cam.com/video/_Km6URypfMc/w-d-xo.htmlsi=T97arc0cBYWIPkCj
Thank you so much for making this video. My husband is struggling with depression and I have only just learned around a month ago that I didn't know all the early signs of depression and I thought he was just his normal rational and pessimistic self, just a bit worse.. I built up some beginning recentment, although I hate to admit it, about the chores in the house. I am learning about what he is going through now. Have gifted him som amazing books and videos to help. He doesn't completely want to admit he has a depression and doesn't want to go to therapy, but he is thankful for my help. Does someone here have some advice - is therapy necesary?
Sorry for the late reply. It's hard to say whether therapy is necessary, he would have to describe his situation to a professional. We have another video on this topic where we talk about it together. If he were open to watching it with you and discussing it, that may be a step in the right direction. th-cam.com/video/iYnnfbNNEL0/w-d-xo.html
i’m going through such a rough time with my boyfriend. we have been together for 5 years and every time he has a burst of anxiety or depression his first instinct is to break up with me and to work on himself, but then he comes back months later saying it was a bad decision and that it was a mistake. i felt things have been going great but then today he came to me telling me he hated life and that he hates himself, and of course i told him he’s loved and that he needs help, but he put all that aside and puts it on the relationship saying it’s hard to juggle a relationship and his mental health. he wanted to talk to me in person, and when we spoke in person it almost ended in a breakup. i just find it sad his solution to everything is to breakup, and i always tell him i’m in it for the long haul but i don’t think he does. i currently don’t have anyone to speak to, so i’m dealing with this alone and it’s very hard, because everything i tell him he disagrees with. please help i can’t help but cry at the thought of everything that is going on.
Sorry I am seeing this comment late. It sounds like an incredibly challenging situation. Is he getting counselling and working on himself? If he isn't taking steps to take care of himself, the roller coaster will continue.
Being married to a person over 40 years with schizophrenia I stayed together for the sake of the children. But I would recommend if there are no kids, run and don’t look back.
Lisa Canning, my wife has been in and out of hospitals. She has been taken into custody 2 times for observation. I live in CA so the system is very passive for the mentally challenged. She Refuses to take medications. 12/31/2019 she talked a hospital in taking out her gall bladder. She did try getting help when she was 27 however the system is stacked against you in CA. Until they mandate medication there is no hope. And mistreatment or wrong treatment escalates the illness and cements it in place. This is my experience for the last 40 years. If the partner refuses treatment, run from these relationships. I am a Christian that believes the Bible says God hates divorce. Hope your partner believes they have an illness and is aggressively seeking treatment.
Hi Lisa, My girlfriend has a depression and anxiety everytime her depression kick in she always want to breakup with me and cry whole night I don't know what to do. In the past months it happen I think once but now her depression kick in almost 3x a week.. she always say she feel an intense sad emotion that no one understands 😭
My boyfrnd has epilepsy for 1.5 yrs now, and i have bipolar disorder, after the last seizure, he can't move half of his body, now his doesn't want to try living, he says everytime i try to heal, something brings me down(as in me) , now he wants isolation, he is clouded by negative emotion, he says he feels nothing with me, so i gave him his space, will he forget me? Will he ever love me again? Am i worthy of forgiveness?
Please help me with this - because I’ve been dating a man with depression for a year, that manifests as him being angry at himself and the world (non-violent), and he has mentioned getting help once or twice…but has done nothing. How can I guide him to therapy? I’ve gone myself to therapy. But I don’t know if it’s healthy for our relationship if he doesn’t show any sign of not wanting to get help. I love him deeply…what can I do 😔💔 Has your husband had therapy? How long did it take for him to go? Was there a breaking point?
I’m not quite sure how to bring in help. I’m afraid my family will judge me. If I ask them to come over to even just help me fold laundry.I don’t know. 😞
I try n try but my husband just not putting any effort. Is been a year, everyday he is laying down on the bed not doing anything. So much fear n mentally exhausted I have to deal with. I’m wanted to run away.
Wow....am speechless...so many pieces of the puzzle fit into place.... My Q is... how do you help your spouse, when you need just as much help yourself? Iv so far watched jst 2 videos, n bawled my eyes out...because it feels am seeing myself in alot of the things you are explaining... Do u have an email add?
Hi Lisa! I’m really struggling with the depression of my loved one. He’s pushed me away and broken up with me. He assures me it’s not because of me and needs to deal with his issues separate from me. He’s told me he’s sought counseling again. I’m heart broken. Is there a possible chance of him coming back? I love him dearly and I’m scared depression has stolen him away from me. Thank You
Need advice I’ve been married for 17 years and my wife lost her mother 2 years ago and she got depressed now she just wants to sleep and cry so her depression has gotten worse and now says she has no feelings towards me and that she don’t love me anymore.
Sorry for the late reply, I wish I had a solution but I would say that people can say surprising things when they are in a period of mourning. I hope that things have improved.
I’m trying I’m trying to let love when. But how could you when he refuses to spend time resides to see me? We were about to move in together when his depression hit. All we do is text or FaceTime and I only talk to or see him if I call. He keeps saying he’s such in a bad mode that it will run off on me and or he can’t get enough strength to see me. This hurts it makes me feel like it’s me like it’s personal because he can see and or be around other people. And then he gets so frustrated the first thing he says jaut leave me I’m not worthy
Omg that phrase..."I choose you" I will print it and put it on the wall dedicated to myself. Since I am going through separation and sometimes I struggle to come to terms with it. That phrase gives me hope that I deserve to be loved and someone will choose me at some point in my life...
@@ThePossibilityMom Thanks for replying to me Lisa. It means a lot that someone so inspiring would actually read my comment and get back to me. You have inspired me to start writing and create a blog to bring awareness about postnatal depression and its devastating impact for couples and families. I published it only a few days ago..I am exited and scared at the same time! I am vulnerable and exposed. You can find it here www.deardepression.com.au I am sending you lots of love and good vibes.
Hi Sometimes my husband is so quiet he don't want to talk with anyone like with his family members and with me also he don't want to talk just want to keep silent . This thing makes worried for my husband. I need suggestions that in this case what should I do? How can i help him to come out from this depression?
I can’t bring one in due to military she doesn’t want to do anything with me or the children I do the cooking and laundry expectations have been put out but I’m getting tired because I feel likes it’s a get out of jail free card I feel there is no connection 3 boys 18 years later wtf do I do she won’t get help also
We finally listened to the requests and started a community on Locals where we can keep this conversation going. Please join us there! perseveretogether.locals.com/
You think you're giving advice for dealing with depression in a marriage... but I think you're dishing out absolutely great advice for ANYONE in a relationship...
Glad to hear that! thanks for watching.
Indeed!!!
I'm in my car, listened to this on the drive, and this made me break down and cry, because I have felt like I was going through this alone and nobody could possibly understand.
You are not alone in this. There is always hope!
Me too. Ty for this video.
Same here
Just bawled my eyes out...supporting my partner in Canada from across the border is really hard...been praying so my own anxiety doesn't kick in.
As a kincarer, this video has been helpful and applicable for me caring for a child from a tough upbringing and wrestling with mental and emotional struggles. So thank you for your insight, wisdom, and your honesty in sharing what you've learned in your own journey. Regularly coming before God and asking for help to see His love for me, to see His love for them, and for me to love them how He does, has been one of the best ways for me to overcome resentment with love. And I will continue to lean on Him.
I am so glad!! You are doing such important work! God bless you and support you.
How do you not have thousands of followers?!? This advice is golden. Thanks for helping me through today and now I know where to turn. Thanks so much
Alexis Hodgson your comment means so so much to me Alexis!!!!
I had to type that out it was just too powerful: "I choose you, and I'll choose you over and over, without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I'll keep choosing you and I choose you in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of life, I'd find you and I choose you."
I love this❤
This video was so calming. My spouse and I both suffer from mental illness and it's hard supporting him while also trying to support myself. These tips were really helpful to me, thank you 💕
I am so glad they were helpful! Blessings to you and your spouse as you journey through this together.
Lisa, you are amazing. Thank you so much for this video. You are probably not even aware how important your message is. Thank you 💞💞💞
zuzaienka23 thank YOU for watching ❤️
Thanks for the Video clip! Sorry for butting in, I would appreciate your opinion. Have you ever tried - Lammywalness Erase Depression Guide (erm, check it on google should be there)? It is an awesome one of a kind product for beating depression fast without the headache. Ive heard some incredible things about it and my GF after many years got cool results with it.
I needed this I have a boyfriend who has depression before we meet he was fine because we both started our walk with Christ and it was a beautiful time but as real life started kicking in his mental issues kicked in outta no where and sucked up our relationship I love him dearly I see the person he is outside of this & I just wanna learn to love him correctly because I can take it personal as well . I always ask God to give me the strength to love Him & be there for him the best way I can but I also have to make sure to make time for myself because it can get overwhelming but I know my love for him is stronger then his mental illness
Beautifully said
I think you just saved my marriage. Thank you. You’re such an inspiration
These words mean a lot Wilbert. Thank you so much for your feedback and be assured of my prayers for you and your marriage.
OMG this brought tears to my eyes because everything you said is what I'm going through me and my wife but I'm learning about this whole depression and anxiety thing. She also has chronic fatigue!!! Thank you so much for making this video
I am so glad to hear that it was a help. I don't know if you caught this other video I did with my husband, but you and your wife may find it helpful to watch and discuss together. I wish you well. th-cam.com/video/iYnnfbNNEL0/w-d-xo.html
Hello Lisa, I really appreciate you sharing your experiences, I am a care giver to my Mother in law with depression and early stage of dimentia and a care giver to my husband that suffered with depression. Our marriage last 9 years now because we believe Loves Win. Sending you Love and positive energies.
Keep fighting the good fight!
This video saved my life and hopefully my marriage. We have suffered for years and just couldn’t put the pieces all together. Thank you so much for posting this!!! ❤
Oh Angee! Your words bless me, know I will be praying for you both
OMG this helped me so much and thanks so much. My spouse struggles with depression and I hate it for him so I’m glad to come across this. Just want to support/help him the best way I can. I greatly appreciate this and will remember and use all of these.
I am so glad it was helpful. I have some other videos on this topic where my husband and I talk about it and they may be a help as well.
Here's the thing, the decades of sacrifice and attempts to help my spouse 'behind the scenes' has equalled a life less lived while I prop him up. He refuses help, or medication and resents me to the point I don't receive love from the partner I love, I receive all the male version of depression from aggression, negativity, irritation, walking on eggshells. I've tried ALL THOSE THINGS while unconditionally loving him. But there is a point in time there is no return in that love and to stick around means I'm a shell of my former self.
I am so sorry. This sounds very hard ♥️♥️♥️
So….when your wife is depressed and has high anxiety, and you love them, you sacrifice, you are patient, you are strong, you take on more of the responsibilities, you are always aware of their feelings and tailoring your feelings and expectations of them and you are the one giving , sacrificing, and being the one who is having to be the supporter…..and over the course of months…..NOTHING changes or gets any better……what do you do as the caregiver when you are finally running on empty?
Look for a shoulder to cry on.
I cried watching this in the first 2 minutes! I’ve been binging all your videos on this subject. I’ve been married for 8 years.. we have 4 children. my husband suffers from depression and we didn’t know till just this past year but we both have been suffering from the effects of it since the beginning. We just had no idea what was “wrong” . Your videos really are an answer to my personal prayers. Everything you say I shake my head yes! I can relate to you immensely! Feeling doom and completely encompassed by this illness. The journey is HARD. we are in counseling and getting medicinal help.. I hope to say one day that we are stronger on the other side of this. Thank you for sharing you’re story.
Thank you for watching and sorry for the late reply! I am so glad that they connected with your experiences, and happy to hear that you have found counselling. You can get through this and come out on the other end stronger.
I’m in the same boat but my husband does not want to be put on medications but also isn’t doing anything else about it. He says he likes to write poetry but rarely ever get to it . He’s always had depression and anxiety which I have always been aware of but he didn’t openly say so until 2 years ago. We have been together for going on 12 years now. His mom who is in her 80s also battle with depression and anxiety and doesn’t think that she needs help. So we’re battling a generational pattern where they both like to one up people to make themselves look better, blame people for their own way of thinking and says things that they don’t mean but never come back to apologize . My husband is way into deep because growing up and even now in present day, she makes him feel worthless. She has a total of 8 children and she does this to all of them as well but my husband has a lot of childhood trauma from his upbringing from his dad and mom so he doesn’t know how to handle his triggers well . Also, he’s closest in distance to his parents than his other siblings are so he takes the most mental beating from her. He will never cut her off, but he is not putting up boundaries either but also seems to mirror her behavior as well. I signed divorce papers in Nov and we have been doing therapy for the last 3 months but he seems to be ok with where we are only when he’s in a good mental space but when he’s not, we always have explosive arguments . The pattern just keeps going in circle and we’re always back at square one. I agreed on giving our marriage a second chance but when it affects my mental health and also how I am as a mother, I want out. Does anyone have any advice ? I want to be supportive but feel like I’m not the right person to make him see his own potential and self worth. He seems to think that just because his siblings don’t cut off his mom, that I will stick around when he acts the same way with me as well. I’m not going to but not sure how much longer I should sit and wait to see if anything changes .
If he’s not willing to do better, take care of yourself and put yourself first.
I’m so thankful for you I really needed to understand the other side. I deal with anxiety and my bf deals with depression but I feel so sad because I was not handling it the way I should’ve have. And that was because I was not educated!!! But I am taking the steps to help myself and him so we can hopefully have a better future🖤
Hi Kayla, so glad to hear that it brought some insight. Lisa and I did a conversation together that might speak to what you and your bf are experiencing. th-cam.com/video/iYnnfbNNEL0/w-d-xo.html
Could you please tell how do you deal with how you feel? And hiw do you help him to feel loved and maybe hooeful? I know depression (in some cases) doesnt get better, it doesnt go away. But he has told me some stuff thats cares me. Seeing a psychologist is not an optiom for now. I want him to know im here and even if I dont know what to say I want him to feel like im listening and going to support him no matter what (have told him but I know its two different things)
Im in that position too (I have anxiety and he has depression) and I often feel like im not good enought for him, and I feel kinda useles because I often dont know what to say after he talks about his feelings. I dont want him to feel like I dont care about it. I often told him that thing will get better (I heard is not a good thing to say tho)
Your video popped up on my home feed totally unrelated to the content selection that will usually pop up there... it was so random BUT It was timely, eye opening, informative and I'm balling my eyes out. My cup was empty empty empty and I was feeling so defeated today with zero energy to emotionally support my partner and everything has been getting on my nerves. Thank you thank you thank you for reminding me to draw from the love I have for him, to stop sweating the small petty stuff, to take time for my own self care so I can be my best self for him... I choose him. May you and your family be always blessed
I thought I replied to this comment! I was very moved by it and saved it but I guess I forgot to reply. Thank you very much for your feedback. My husband and I are working on starting a charity that mainly assists the supporting spouse (like yourself). Say a prayer for that and I hope we will have more to offer you soon.
thank you for this. Me being a Christian, Gods promises always gives me strength. But yeah at times its so so hard. you encouraged me very much. May God bless u and your husband.
Thank you. God bless you too!
Just found your channel today!! Thank you so much for the wonderful advice and for assuring us that we are not alone. I am newly married (yay!) and still learning how to deal with my husband’s occasional moments of depression. Your advice of “do it with love” really resonated with me and I am hoping to be more positive and selfless. Again, thank you!
Congrats on your recent marriage! Glad the video resonated. It is a journey, and it is hard at times, but it is also beautiful.
I’m in the gym right now searching for the solution on how to deal with my wife who’s having anxiety depression. I had enough and i want to die, I’m tired. You’re video helps me realise that I should understand her.
I am glad that it brought understanding. I hope things improve. There is always a reason for hope.
I really appreciate this video... and I know you're absolutely right. It's still so very hard. I grew up with high expectations of what my wedding day, wedding night, and marriage would look like. It ended up being much lower than what even normal couples face.
I want to say I'd choose him a thousand times over, but I'd probably be lying. I am going to my first ever counseling session tomorrow and I hope she can help me work through these emotions, because I do love him and I wouldn't ever abandon him. Life just hurts so much sometimes.
Being authentic about how you feel is important, and you are doing that. You are facing the hard. How did things go with the counselling session?
@@ThePossibilityMom you're so kind, thank you for asking! 😊💖 counseling is helping. Knowing that he really does love me helps, and I do love him. We're learning to celebrate and focus on the good days, and not dwell on the episodes/ bad days. Thank you for these thoughtful encouraging videos, they are much appreciated 🙂
How has the counseling going?
I've seen a fair share of therapists for this and this is some of the best and most practical advice I've heard. Thank you!!!
Wow, thank you! So glad to hear it was a help, and you're most welcome!
my wife being in depression makes me feel like I'm heading in the same direction. It makes me feel worthless that no nothing that I do can help her. It makes me feel like I'm the one that caused it because of something I had said. To me it feels like the spouse who has to take care of a husband or wife that has depression is almost if not more suffering worse or at least to the same degree. I am a fixer if I can't fix your problem I just I can't handle it I can't acknowledge it I don't know what to do and it stresses me into massive anxiety the only way I can deal with my wife's depression is to just not acknowledge it and tell her you know there's nothing I can do to help her I've tried and nothing works because if I sit there and keep worrying about it I'm harming myself as well
This is what I'm going through. My wife has been depressed 6months after marriage and we've been married 3yrs. I'm a fixer too. At some point she made me feel I caused her depression I live with that until a counselor told me I didn't caused it. I'm starting to feel affected emotionally because of her depression depression. Don't know what to do cuz I feel stuck.
For me it's pretty much the same. How ever I won't give up on her. Because she is such a fantastic person who is so kind. But the circumstances were/are hard for her and she has depression. That's not by choice but I can make a difference. I can think more often about her, I can communicate better (I'm very bad at this) and just improve myself to try to become a better person.
So don't give up, be honest to yourself and work hard on yourself. Do it not just for your wife do it for yourself.
Have a great day
@@renovogler5919 recently my wife went to her primary care doctor and they gave her a temporary higher dosage a different depression medication. It took seven or eight days like the doctor told her to but for the past 4 days it has been a complete 180 depression has disappeared she's not laying around in bed staring at her phone all day I mean she has like reorganized the whole house and cleaned everything and has been leaving the house with the dogs and actually doing things that she enjoys again so thankfully for me things recently have started looking up.
Amazing news! I have seen the right medication make a big difference.
Can’t believe I’m just finding this video! My fiancé has had on and off chronic severe depression since I met him but it has never been as bad as it is now. It hurts to see him not as himself and how he thinks this is him, when it’s the depression. It definitely requires a lot of effort and patience in supporting. I guess a question I have is about the anger and irritability that comes with their depression. Aside from pushing me away, he can be extremely mean to me on a daily basis now and he just wants to be alone. When I leave him alone, but let him know I’m there for him, he still makes it seem like I’m not doing what he needs. I’m at my ends meet between him not wanting to take getting professional help seriously and being the everyday punching bag for his depression. He doesn’t want to communicate with me, and I completely understand that, but I don’t know my threshold of what I can take with the anger etc. I love him and the life we’ve so far built together and have planned, but I have no idea what more I can do without losing myself in the process.
Michelle Ranae Gamble reading that is like I’ve wrote it myself as I’m going through the same thing. I am being pushed away. I’ve tried everything. I went to his place with a bag full of self care items and a letter but he refused to get out of bed to see me and begged me on the phone to leave because I was making him mad. He just isn’t ready to see me or anyone right now. I’ve never seen him so bad, it’s like I’ve lost my partner and my best friend. He just wants to be left alone so like you said all can do is take a step back and wait for him to realise he has be the one to seek help. He tells me he will ring the doctor and then doesn’t. I’ve given him numbers to call and text for support. He’s not interested. Not sure what else to do. Sending you lots of love. Hope things get easier for us xx
Savannah Jade I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this too! I’ve been depressed before as well too, but to be on the opposite side this time is definitely eye opening as well. It’s good to know we’re not alone in trying to support our loved ones to the best of our ability. Much love and thoughts to you and I hope we all come out of it better and stronger!
Speaking from experience.. if his family is not supportive with his depression and you are alone in this.. you need to think if you can live this way. Please speak to someone to help YOU sort this out for you.
Writing poems helps too my wife loves it and I love her ❤️🏆🔐🙏🏿
Great video and share! Awareness like this makes a huge difference! Subbed to your channel and found inspiration here for my channel! Keep doing you!
I am the severely depressed/anxious husband. I feel like a burden because I don’t know who I truly am anymore. Your supporting suggestions are no less than BRILLIANT. Thank you so very much for sharing. I hope your words bring ease to all!
I am so glad that it resonated with you. I don't know if you caught any of the videos my husband and I did together, but you are not alone in what you are going through. th-cam.com/video/iYnnfbNNEL0/w-d-xo.html
This has been so helpful for me, its been tough and I didn't know that there was support for such. Thank you so much for this. We aren't open enough about how mental illness affects marriages and truly support systems are crucial for the spouses of those suffering mental illness.
I am so glad it helped!!!!!
You saved my marriage
I feel so better after listening this Thank you ❤
One key difference between man and women is that women generally just want a supportive ear from a number of friends who listen, while men generally want solutions or ideas and will chose a very small number of close friends to share with.
Omg I really needed to hear this this morning...thank you I feel inspired to help my husband feel more love and support
You are so welcome, I am so glad it was a help to you!
This is a wonderful video & helps so much. Thank you for your advice. 🖤 my husband and I both have this twisted mental illness called depression & it’s extremely hard for both of us. We have 4 children & they’re all under the age of 5. This makes it really really hard to cope with basically anything because we’re doing our best to be great parents as well as make each other happy. We love our children & we love each other, but life gets so overwhelming sometimes. I really enjoyed this video & it made me realize a lot of things.
Oh Stasha! What a beautiful gift you've been given in those kids!!!!!
I need help, my husband is suffering from depression for a long time. He became so angry and screamed with a little thing. He gave me suicidal threats. I'm so stressed out and I don't know how to handle it. Its so frustrating . I love him so much and don't want to leave him. Can anyone please give me advice
Thank you for these great strategies, Lisa, and for sharing your strength, courage and vulnerability 💕
Mom2three thanks so much for watching ❤️
This video was so helpful it give me hope, it let's me know that I'm not crazy. My wife Left me because of my ADHD and depression.
Thank you so much I especially need to be in prayer about not being resentful because about the time my husband started his depression almost a year ago I was going through a very good time in my life and I’ve been kind of resentful that he’s brought me down so much but of course he never meant to, and he would like to feel good himself.
It’s very hard to process a thing like this, but prayer is a must for me as well. Grace does a lot for the situation.
In a dark spot in my marriage. And is so hard to open up bc I don't feel like I matter. Listening to you I cry sadly my heart aches. A feeling only I can feel but hard to express it out
My best advice: go get some counselling or therapy or coaching for yourself, it will help so much!
My wife has suffered from depression for 10 years (started with post partum) 4 kids later and I begged her to get help she is now a very new recovering alcoholic. She has lost her "person" because we both were bickering and he couldn't take it. Her mom got super involved and was trying to talk to me and felt she may need to be forced to go for treatment. I didn't pursue. Now my wife is says she hates me and her mom and will never forgive me and believes I'm trying to control her. I love her but think I'm losing her and don't know how to help because she sees it as control. I've told her it's because we care and love her but she thinks that's a lie and gets extremely angry. My oldest 9 has caught on and my wife believes I'm turning them against her when I tell them mommy is just sad and needs to go talk to someone but is scared and won't. I'm feeling hopeless
Sorry for the late reply and so sorry for the extremely difficult situation you are in. Have you sought counselling for yourself? This could help you manage your own feelings about the situation, and could provide some clarity and encouragement for her to try it when she is feeling strong enough. I also wonder if she might be open to watching this other video we did with her. It can help to hear two sides to the situation. th-cam.com/video/iYnnfbNNEL0/w-d-xo.html
Thank you - that was beautiful and very much needed.
Really glad to hear it helped, Michael. If you are looking for more on this topic I have a playlist of videos here: th-cam.com/play/PLimedAda1Ym2eNQl17AZyYIjU1yA9V_Af.html Blessings.
Your video made me cry. My husband is going through it and our marriage is struggling. I will try your recommendation on this video. May I have Canada help line number to talk. Thank you sooo much for making this kind video
Unnati Lad I am so sorry for your situation ❤️
Thank you Lisa. My partner and I are both living with mental illness and we are trying to be there for each other. Sometimes we win, sometimes we learn. But I wouldn't do this with anybody else
I found this video at the right time. Thanks for the tips! Hope you are doing better in your marriage.
I am so glad it was a help. We are doing well, and actually starting to talk about this topic a lot more. We are starting a non-profit to dedicate more time to speaking to couples dealing with this issue in their marriage
Really helpful, thank you! Particularly the expectations part!
I am so glad it was a help! I have some other videos on this topic. th-cam.com/play/PLimedAda1Ym2eNQl17AZyYIjU1yA9V_Af.html
Lisa,you are truly amazing, thank you for this video,and your support...
Maryse Moralde-Abbott you are most welcome ❤️
Having a depressed boyfriend and doing long distance is so hard ;(
I don’t know how to comfort him, support and help him.
Sorry to hear that. The long distance can be really rough.
Thank you for sharing and exactly . I can relate big time
Hi Lisa. I’ve been watching lots of your videos and thank you for giving hope.
I am currently in need of advice. I have a boyfriend with depression of almost 4 years and we’ve been on an on and off relationship due to his depression. He is living in a different country and a month ago he went to my country and we were planning on getting married in a few months and settle down. However, after a week of being here, he decided he just wants to go back to his country and he said he doesn’t know what he’s doing and he feels useless. I’m at loss at what to do now. I love him so much and I want him back.
Love Yabao gosh I am so sorry, that sounds so hard. The big thing honestly I think your partner might need is to be reminded of who he really is. That he is not useless, and that he is loved ❤️
Lisa Canning thank you for your reply. I talked to him recently and he said he’s just been sleeping as much as he can since he sees there’s no point in being awake. 😔
@@loveyabao5093 I can relate to that feeling. It's hard, and the feeling is real but it doesn't reflect reality. Every day is full of opportunity and potential (I have to remind myself of this when it doesn't feel like it). It must be really hard for you to try to support him from afar. Do you see him investing in his mental health in any way? Seeking counselling, reading up how to think differently (CBT), etc? He would need to be committed to getting as healthy as possible in order for your relationship to work.
Josh Canning Hi Josh. Thank you for your reply. These days he seems to be feeling better now that he’s gone back to his home. I’m not sure if he’ll be doing therapy but he’s taking antidepressants.
@@loveyabao5093 that's good news. It is a journey, living with mental illness and while it's never easy, there is power in working on yourself. Best wishes.
My girlfriend drops off on the affection when she gets a depressive episode, my love langue is words of affirmation and physical touch this makes it hard on me to be able to be there for her when I can't feel fully loved. What should I do?
Learn to love yourself.
You saved my marriage❤
The resentment. I thought I could handle this without it creeping in but ughhhhhh it’s here
Thank you for sharing this important topic in family relationships.
@@windsorcars7732 Thank you very much.
You are so welcome!
Amen ! Very helpful and . On point 100 percent
I choose to let love win. Thanks for the video!
You are so welcome!
Yo I needed to hear 👂 this because my wife is going threw depression and it's ruff for me cause I really want her to be back to her usual self cause I love her so much
I am glad it was a help, Travis. I hope that you guys can find hope within the struggles. My husband and I did another video that you might watch together with her to help her talk about it. th-cam.com/video/iYnnfbNNEL0/w-d-xo.html
My fiancé is depressed.
What makes it extremely hard for me is that, I've been depressed too due to very low levels of Vitamin D. It was difficult, but I bounced back by speaking positivity into my life.. I made the decision to be happy.
I try help her in the same way, but everything I try ends up futile. I always try to encourage her, but she always feels she's not good enough.
It saddens me because we (and her individually) have had so many breakthroughs and God has blessed her SO MUCH!.. literally, her life has done a 180 from the worst of the worst, to the very best.
For example, she's upset she's starting university at age 23 as she feels behind. But I always try telling her that 23 is still young, and there's nothing wrong in when she starts university, she'll probably still be one of the youngest in class... but I just cannot reach her.
You're right, it is still young! My husband started university at 22. Do you think it would be helpful to grab some popcorn, watch this video together and discuss? th-cam.com/video/iYnnfbNNEL0/w-d-xo.html
@@ThePossibilityMom Thank you so much, and thank you for what you're doing!
I will watch it with her 🙏.
I’m hoping this will help tonight my husband has severe depression he feels worthless so I hope this will help him. Let him know I love him and hear him out
If you are watching together, this one may connect, as it has my husband sharing his experiences as well. I hope your conversation goes well and that you both understand each other. th-cam.com/video/iYnnfbNNEL0/w-d-xo.html
This is the most accurate description I’ve ever heard ❤️ Thanks for sharing!
Sky Finn-Dunn you are most welcome. Thanks for watching ❤️
I have severe depression&anxiety issues .Its a daily struggle .I pray a lot and feel very worthless
I’m very sorry to hear that. My husband recorded some thoughts on the spiritual side of that here th-cam.com/video/_Km6URypfMc/w-d-xo.htmlsi=T97arc0cBYWIPkCj
Love your vibe and video ! Thanks a lot
Glad to hear! Thanks for watching
Omg!!! Thank you for what you said at 4:15 I have learned this time and yet again!!!
Me too!
Thank you so much for making this video. My husband is struggling with depression and I have only just learned around a month ago that I didn't know all the early signs of depression and I thought he was just his normal rational and pessimistic self, just a bit worse..
I built up some beginning recentment, although I hate to admit it, about the chores in the house.
I am learning about what he is going through now. Have gifted him som amazing books and videos to help. He doesn't completely want to admit he has a depression and doesn't want to go to therapy, but he is thankful for my help.
Does someone here have some advice - is therapy necesary?
Sorry for the late reply. It's hard to say whether therapy is necessary, he would have to describe his situation to a professional. We have another video on this topic where we talk about it together. If he were open to watching it with you and discussing it, that may be a step in the right direction. th-cam.com/video/iYnnfbNNEL0/w-d-xo.html
i’m going through such a rough time with my boyfriend. we have been together for 5 years and every time he has a burst of anxiety or depression his first instinct is to break up with me and to work on himself, but then he comes back months later saying it was a bad decision and that it was a mistake. i felt things have been going great but then today he came to me telling me he hated life and that he hates himself, and of course i told him he’s loved and that he needs help, but he put all that aside and puts it on the relationship saying it’s hard to juggle a relationship and his mental health. he wanted to talk to me in person, and when we spoke in person it almost ended in a breakup. i just find it sad his solution to everything is to breakup, and i always tell him i’m in it for the long haul but i don’t think he does. i currently don’t have anyone to speak to, so i’m dealing with this alone and it’s very hard, because everything i tell him he disagrees with. please help i can’t help but cry at the thought of everything that is going on.
Sorry I am seeing this comment late. It sounds like an incredibly challenging situation. Is he getting counselling and working on himself? If he isn't taking steps to take care of himself, the roller coaster will continue.
Being married to a person over 40 years with schizophrenia I stayed together for the sake of the children. But I would recommend if there are no kids, run and don’t look back.
Otis Page I’d love to hear from your experience Otis, how is your marriage now?
Lisa Canning, my wife has been in and out of hospitals. She has been taken into custody 2 times for observation. I live in CA so the system is very passive for the mentally challenged. She Refuses to take medications. 12/31/2019 she talked a hospital in taking out her gall bladder. She did try getting help when she was 27 however the system is stacked against you in CA. Until they mandate medication there is no hope. And mistreatment or wrong treatment escalates the illness and cements it in place. This is my experience for the last 40 years. If the partner refuses treatment, run from these relationships. I am a Christian that believes the Bible says God hates divorce. Hope your partner believes they have an illness and is aggressively seeking treatment.
Otis Page I am so sorry I can only imagine how difficult that must have been.
I’m married 27 years to a person with depression, anxiety, PTSD, you name it.
When you marry someone their problems become your problems for life.
Hi Lisa, My girlfriend has a depression and anxiety everytime her depression kick in she always want to breakup with me and cry whole night I don't know what to do. In the past months it happen I think once but now her depression kick in almost 3x a week.. she always say she feel an intense sad emotion that no one understands 😭
My best advice: go get some counselling or therapy or coaching for yourself, it will help so much!
Thank you so much for sharing. Appreciate this very much
You are so welcome!
wow, thank you for this message!
You are most welcome!
This was Wonderful; Helpful for me & my Fiancé.
I'm so glad! We have other videos on the topic that may also resonate with you.
Your videos are helping me so much! Thank you 🙏
You are so welcome!! Thanks for watching, and keep up hope!
My boyfrnd has epilepsy for 1.5 yrs now, and i have bipolar disorder, after the last seizure, he can't move half of his body, now his doesn't want to try living, he says everytime i try to heal, something brings me down(as in me) , now he wants isolation, he is clouded by negative emotion, he says he feels nothing with me, so i gave him his space, will he forget me? Will he ever love me again? Am i worthy of forgiveness?
Thank you so much. My husband is in the hospital right now
I am so sorry. Prayers for his healing, and for strength and support for you.
@@ThePossibilityMom thank you so much. It's difficult when there is no support here
Please help me with this - because I’ve been dating a man with depression for a year, that manifests as him being angry at himself and the world (non-violent), and he has mentioned getting help once or twice…but has done nothing. How can I guide him to therapy? I’ve gone myself to therapy. But I don’t know if it’s healthy for our relationship if he doesn’t show any sign of not wanting to get help. I love him deeply…what can I do 😔💔
Has your husband had therapy? How long did it take for him to go? Was there a breaking point?
Thank you so Much for this.
You are so welcome! Glad that it was a help.
Thank you. Thank you so much for what you do.
Your comments move my heart, thank you and I am so glad it was such a help!
Very inspiring, thanks!
so helpful Lisa. thank you
You are so welcome!
I’m not quite sure how to bring in help. I’m afraid my family will judge me. If I ask them to come over to even just help me fold laundry.I don’t know. 😞
Probably I know what I have to do now
What if he wont take my calls and we dont live together?
By the way they arr threatening to fire him at work so i dont know his depressed or not
Okay, but how do I deal with the loneliness?
You are awesome👍 you just answered all my questions
I am so glad! We keep making videos on this topic because it is so important.
I try n try but my husband just not putting any effort. Is been a year, everyday he is laying down on the bed not doing anything. So much fear n mentally exhausted I have to deal with. I’m wanted to run away.
You are such a beautiful soul ❤
Thank you!! 😊
Wow....am speechless...so many pieces of the puzzle fit into place....
My Q is... how do you help your spouse, when you need just as much help yourself?
Iv so far watched jst 2 videos, n bawled my eyes out...because it feels am seeing myself in alot of the things you are explaining...
Do u have an email add?
Another great video here
Thanks again!
How is this different than just enabling people with bad behaviors?
Hi Lisa! I’m really struggling with the depression of my loved one. He’s pushed me away and broken up with me. He assures me it’s not because of me and needs to deal with his issues separate from me. He’s told me he’s sought counseling again. I’m heart broken. Is there a possible chance of him coming back? I love him dearly and I’m scared depression has stolen him away from me. Thank You
I am so sorry for your suffering. Never give up hope, even if it isn't the outcome you are expecting / desiring, there is always hope!!!!
Need advice I’ve been married for 17 years and my wife lost her mother 2 years ago and she got depressed now she just wants to sleep and cry so her depression has gotten worse and now says she has no feelings towards me and that she don’t love me anymore.
Sorry for the late reply, I wish I had a solution but I would say that people can say surprising things when they are in a period of mourning. I hope that things have improved.
I’m trying I’m trying to let love when. But how could you when he refuses to spend time resides to see me? We were about to move in together when his depression hit. All we do is text or FaceTime and I only talk to or see him if I call. He keeps saying he’s such in a bad mode that it will run off on me and or he can’t get enough strength to see me. This hurts it makes me feel like it’s me like it’s personal because he can see and or be around other people. And then he gets so frustrated the first thing he says jaut leave me I’m not worthy
Thank you so much
You are most welcome! 🙏
Thank you so much ....what r the on line counselors u mentioned in this video....I would like that option
Omg that phrase..."I choose you" I will print it and put it on the wall dedicated to myself. Since I am going through separation and sometimes I struggle to come to terms with it. That phrase gives me hope that I deserve to be loved and someone will choose me at some point in my life...
Lorena Wieshamm you are so deserving ❤️
@@ThePossibilityMom Thanks for replying to me Lisa. It means a lot that someone so inspiring would actually read my comment and get back to me. You have inspired me to start writing and create a blog to bring awareness about postnatal depression and its devastating impact for couples and families. I published it only a few days ago..I am exited and scared at the same time! I am vulnerable and exposed. You can find it here www.deardepression.com.au
I am sending you lots of love and good vibes.
Lorena Wieshamm YOU ARE AMAZING I CANNOT WAIT TO READ!
I'm really depressed bcoz of my husband activity...he does care abt me...
No sex life exist betw us....he doesn't talk to me properly.
May I suggest couple’s counselling
Hi
Sometimes my husband is so quiet he don't want to talk with anyone like with his family members and with me also he don't want to talk just want to keep silent . This thing makes worried for my husband.
I need suggestions that in this case what should I do? How can i help him to come out from this depression?
I can’t bring one in due to military she doesn’t want to do anything with me or the children I do the cooking and laundry expectations have been put out but I’m getting tired because I feel likes it’s a get out of jail free card I feel there is no connection 3 boys 18 years later wtf do I do she won’t get help also
Which are these helplines to just listen? Having a hard time finding
The one I called was in Canada. They also have text lines that can be a help as well. You could try 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
What if they are making me feel like crap all the time ?
I am sorry that that is the case. We do have to communicate our needs, including not being blamed for everything or walked all over.