ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ต.ค. 2020
- Dear viewer,
I hope you will find this video helpful. I totally understand that feeling of wanting to do everything for our loved ones who may be struggling. I do hope any of these tips could be useful in your conversations. Remember, be kind to yourself even in the process, we are not perfect humans -as long as we intend to do no harm and help, it will be okay. Best of luck, hope everyone is hanging in there.
Xo, Yeonni.
Resources:
www.samhsa.gov/find-help/nati...
What is Depression?
1. www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topic...
2. www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-c...
How to Talk to Someone with Depression?
1. www.healthline.com/health/wha...
2. www.helpguide.org/articles/de...
3. www.medicalnewstoday.com/arti...
Business/ collab inquiries email: hiyeonni.co@gmail.com
Empathy is such an underrated trait these days...
Wish it was focused on more!
agreed
Most definitely
I must say that empathy is a perk of depression. It also is a great character trait because it allows you to care deeply for God’s people which is what Jesus Christ would do. God cares for you ❤
Yeah true... not even parents are empathetic 😢😢
Biggest one: DON'T say "dont cry" make them feel like their emotions matter and tell them it's okay to cry.
Tell them that a couple of times a day and let me know if that is not sucking all of your energy. Nobody talks about the persona that is near the depressed.
Except I tell myself that bc its immature (I am not saying crying is immature for people, I am saying that this is what I tell myself and it makes me immature)
Have a friend dealing with depression. Breaks my heart when she cries. I continually let her know I am here, and we talk a lot. She has her good days and bad days, but your advice has helped. Thank you.
Do's
- Engage With Them (1:09)
- Check-in With Them (4:30)
- Show Them (Demonstrate Verbally) You Care (6:51)
Don't
- Try Not to Give Unsolicited Advice (9:02)
Listen to understand not to make your point
- Don't try to make them "feel better" (10:11)
- Don't try to figure out why/Don't try to "solve" their depression (10:58)
I think I got all the points, made it for when I go back to the video :) Thank you so much for this video!
Wow thank you for this! You’ve done my job for me by breaking my video down, I appreciate you!✨
I had a friend when I was depressed say do you want to talk about it
@@tannergrinzel1835😢😂😂
Can’t tell you how many times I have had meltdowns finishing this video. For someone who has gone through it, I have hard time explaining what I felt and what I needed at that time. I started sharing my journey on Facebook, so I can be that voice for someone else who kept me going at my lowest speaking their truth and struggles. The hardest part of all is , that no one understand what you’re going through. The medical system is not made for people who has depression. I just wanna say Thank you for making this video. I just needed to hear this all. I don’t care if the video was 15mins long. No one can understand how much healing this 15mins has brought me in a long time.
People who are struggling just remember it’s TEMPORARY, it will take time but with Baby Steps, you will make it on the other side and help many more like you one way or the other.
Thank you very much, I have depression and it got triggered a while ago and I'm still crying non-stop because my family don't know how to listen to me. My mom said I should just think positively and I'm overreacting and those just hurts so much. It made it even painful when the police, not even part of my family, that my feelings are not normal so I should go to hospital and let myself get check-up. It hurts so much that other people can understand you better than your own family..
Thank you so much. It is a relief that they're are do's and don'ts available on this subject.
I'm going through depression myself and I find unsolicited advices the most irritating. Rationally I know advices are meant to improve my situation but mentally I blame myself and feel judged by the advisor. For someone who hasn't gone through depression, they never know how to talk to someone with depression. This isolates depressed people even more cause there is no specific explanation to it. This is most helpful video so far. Thank you so much!
I am REALLY bad lately and I hate "How you doing today?" Or "Have you eaten?" These questions just ends up making me so angry and irritated
It’s so true.....only people who went through depression know much better how to comfort other depressed people. Because they have walked in those shoes
🙂You helped me a lot, my Person seemed a little better after i listened to your whole video, ThankYou! they were getting mad at me more before.😢
I think I'm currently going through depression, and what you describe resonates with me a lot. It's irritating that the other person thinks that a simple idea can fix it, as I simply lack the motivation to implement the idea. In the end, the result is that I am being reminded that I am unmotivated, and it really makes it worse.
Personally I find feelings validation is the most powerful way to get better after each episode. When I feel heard, I start to accept the mess in my head which helps in figuring out the triggers. Long story short, validation helps me recognize and process my feelings better. It still hurts to go through those and deal with myself but at least I’m getting something positive out of it. Thanks everyone for keeping fighting till this day!
Thank you for making these types of videos, you've summed up these points really well..
❤❤
Thank you for this advice, im really worried for one of my friends from school, they are really upset and i just want to comfort them and be there for them
Thank you for making this video! Personally, it can be challenging at times to not give unsolicited advice.
Hope all is well! :)
Very informative and helpful to hear from a different perspective. Thank you 🙏🏽
Thank you this was very helpful. Blessings to you.
Very timely advice, thank you.
#1 important is Don’t judge them based on your experience or where you are in your life….don’t act like someone suffering should be able to pull themselves out….they will have good days & bad days….PLEASE KNOW & REMEMBER THEY DON’T WANT TO BE DEPRESSED…THEY WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN….They are down on themselves enough & already have shame & guilt for feeling depressed bc it also affects their loved ones & household & they know it……
This is actually the most helpful video I saw. Thank you so much.
I'm so glad 🤎
i'm not a professional, but with my experience with being on both ends. don't forget that you can only do what you can. you don't have to bend over backwards to help them. the only people who can really save them is themselves, but you can try your best to be a support system. sometimes the other party may need more than what you can offer and the best thing you can do at that point is accept that you can't or find resources to help them tackle the task.
Very nice video thanku mam.
Thank you ma'am! for making this Amazing video!
I really love your videos and the way you address mental health concerns. I work in the field as well and the tips you give are great. Thanks so much for your videos, you are awesome!
Thank you so much for watching! I appreciate your support so much! 🥰
So glad Dulce recommended you!!! I love when people use their channels to raise awareness for serious world issues such as mental health. 💖💖💎💎
Hi there! Awh I’m happy to see you here! Thank you for your kind words ☺️❤️
Thanks, so appreciate this❤
I like longer videos. 30-60 min. I listen while falling asleep. It distracts my brain and it’s interesting information. Especially when it’s someone with a soothing voice
Much appreciated video 🤍 I have people in my life with depression & mental illnesses. I do the best I can to be there for them, show them I care, & gather more research on what I can do. Thank you!
PS Your videos are a great length for me!
I’m so glad to hear that this video could have been even a bit helpful! And haha thank you for the feedback regarding the length of my videos! I guess I’m just trying to figure out what works best for my subscribers☺️
Thank you for this video.
Thank you so much for putting this video out here. Recently I've started talking to a close friend that I stopped talking to for a while because our friendship was super messy. I'm trying to avoid some of the past mistakes I made and this video has helped me out a bunch. I've always tried my best to reach out to my friend but ultimately failed and reflecting on what I said made her mental health experience worse (in all fairness we were both 13-ish). I feel more confident communicating my feelings to her in a healthy, constructive manner. I'm so lucky to have found this video when I did ♥
I appreciate this video. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this video it will help me a lot to talk to my friend
Thank you so much once again
Thank you yonnie my partner is going through depression and this video you made help me to be able to help my partner out
Thanks for the tips..❤ ❤ it helps a lot..
Fantastic advice! 🖤
Thanks so much Shana! So glad to see you! 🤎
I am diagnose with Depression. watching this video almost make me cry. my parents, and my sister would use their words to hurt me. I didn't like how they were giving me advices, try to make me feel better, and forcing me to go to the doctor. hearing what you say really make me feel a little bit better when a lots I have been going through!
Look, i WENT through the same thing and i understand you...
@@Sobhanat-pp3ko Thank you! I don't really know what to say at first. now I know I am not alone.
I just started crying when watching this
Amazing video, thanks! I took notes :)
Thank you for watching!
This is helpful, thank u
great video my friend used this as his template to talk to me
Thank you so much, but i real need someone to talk to
Your Video ist Not Long .
I Wish it would have tanken longer.
Thank you for your advice
Solid advice
i really appreciate this video as someone who struggles with depression. my fiancé doesn’t really understand my experience with it and often when trying to get me out of a depressive episode and i say i’m not in a good mood or whatever it’s always “why?” and my answer can never be “i don’t know”.. it’s hard sometimes because of that to open up to him when i am feeling depressed. i also struggle - he often asks what he can do for me as well, but in the moment i just don’t know. it’s frustrating for both of us when i don’t know what he can do to help because i know he wants to.
I’m so happy to hear that Rachael! It really is difficult at times trying to speak to the people closest to us about the things that we’re going through.. I can resonate with you because I go through similar bouts with my own partner! I wish he could just understand and he wishes he could just understand, but yes it does get frustrating for us here and there. Sending you strength and all love today ❤️
As an empath myself who has a significant other in their life that struggles with depression almost daily I can agree 100% with your statement be there for them and sometimes is an empath it does make me feel slightly depressed to form my own feelings but in a way it does help me as well conquer my own demons thank you for your words of wisdom and I'm sure it'll help both of us in the long run❤❤
I will demonstrate the tips you are giving to me to me and my friends.
Thank you so much 💜😊
I found out that my friend got into cutting. She told me about it and I was very worried, she sent me pics of the cuts. I was terrified but stayed calm and talked to her. I’m glad that I was the first person and that she could trust me, it kinda became my responsibility, I’m watching this video for further advice. Most of the things mentioned, I had already implemented without watching the video. In the end I recommended to see a professional but I never stopped checking up on her. Now she still won’t see a professional coz she is scared but now a days she hasn’t been cutting and I could see improvement. If anyone else has any advice at all, I’d appreciate a response ❤ I very much agree with not trying to make them feel better coz it’s just like lying.
Excellent video
My friends should learn from this, most of them abandoned me when I needed help
tysm It's really helpfull!
My gf is depressed and I've said a lot of things to make her feel better but she won't rely on me.
She said, "I can do it myself,"
"You don't need to understand me,"
"I will recover this wound by myself,"
And some kinds of things. Idk how to comfort her. idk what to do anymore.
Don't bring up the depression topic ... Just keep showing care in ur own ways
I will try the tips.
love the top and earrings, what are the brands of it? let me know
Hoping your video help family member with depression
Great video. The only funny thing is, the commentator suggests to say, "Have you been to the doctor" in both the "dos" and the "don'ts" !
This is really helpful.. I think I've said something wrong to my partner the other day.. 😔
Ohmygod i love you
Thank you
I have a friend who is currently I fear very ill with depression. I ask him how he is doing and check in. I try to ask him if he wants to talk about it and why he may be feeling the way he is. He tells me everytime he is feeling worse. He also said there is a reason why he is feeling like this, he won't tell me but I think its because his ex-girlfriend, someone he really loved and cherished a lot broke up with him, however I do not know why and I don't want to ask it is quite sensitive. He has from what he tells me suffered with depression for what it seems like his entire life but I think this break up made it so much worse. I'm so scared he'll give up on life, he tells me he just wants to die, I care for him a lot but I dont know what to do. He does not want to go to therapy, he does not get how it will help him and he does not take any medication, he does not want to rely on medication to make him feel better. I dont know what to do anymore can someone please help me.
I'm so sorry this is happening with your friend. I feel your pain through your words. I can see you're doing the best you can to be a support at this time, at the end of the day, I also hope you can take the time to take care of yourself. At times when loved ones are in deep psychological pain, the best thing we can do is provide them the love and support we can, and then also make sure to take care of ourselves ❤️ good luck ❤️
@@hi.yeonni Thank you, yes I've been trying my best to also look after myself, for the time being he seems better, he is occupied with school and art, which keeps his mind off of things. But I will continue to check in with him but also take care of myself. Thank you💕
Thank you so much for this video! My long distance gf is curently going through a very severe episode. We've only been together for a bit over a month so far, and I definitely made a lot of mistakes in dealing with her depression, because I didn't know how to handle her lack of communication. Though now after seeing this, as well as some other videos, I think I definitely understand everything better. I've been sending her reassuring texts these past few days, telling her that she is strong and that I believe in her and that she can get through this. Just reassuring her that I still care and that it's ok if she doesn't have the energy to put work into the relationship atm.
Would it be a good thing to tell her about my day, without expecting an answer back from her when she doesn't have the energy to answer of course, so that she still feels included in my life?
You are great! Your gf is so lucky to have you.
I was in a long distance relationship and went through depression and that person sent me even deeper…
I would share about your day, suggest her things to do and for sure say to her that you won’t leave her hand and that she is strong, great and can get over this.
Sending you both a strength!!
@@mike_lmlm6818 Thanks :)
It's really helpful for me to hear this from someone who was on the other side of the coin. I hope you're better now!
I hope you don't mind me asking, but would you like to share some more about your experience with me? About your behaviours during your episode (for example if you became distant or anything like that) and what you wished your partner would have done for you. If you don't feel comfortable with sharing that openly, I'm on Reddit, Insta and Discord if you want to keep things more private. Though it's completely fine if you don't want to talk about it :)
Your girl is too lucky with you
I envy her
@@maikokonutty Well, unfortunately we aren't together anymore. It turned out that her being so distant was not just because of depression, but also because of our attachment styles (me being more anxious leaning and her being pretty avoidant. She admitted at the breakup that she had been out of her episode for a while), which we only really realised post breakup. We're in contact again though and have since talked things through, and we still get along very well.
Accepting the very first no is not necessarily always right.
Another problem is that a massively depressed person may just be tired of talking about a very serious life or death topic and NEVER GETTING ANYWHERE.
If somebody is in the cold rain for months, being sick is not the cause but the symptom. Even though it might mean that by now they are to weak to walk. Sometimes they do not need medication to help with the ice rain. Sometimes they need to get inside.
And to quote a movie: I thought the worst would be to end up all alone. But it's much worse to be among people who make you feel all alone. And so far everybody has managed to make me feel that I am absolutely alone in this hell. No wonder I want out.
Over all, one of the smarter videos on the topic.
I got caught up in the ego of having been in depression myself. I thought I'd have useful advice for them, but I don't. There's nothing I can do to help them advice-wise. What I need to work on is accepting this and just be a better listener.
Video was helpful
I want to cure my online friends depression who is on the way there
I don't want him to go there 😞
I'll try my best 💜💜♾️
What to do when you're told by them to leave them alone but know they're depressed and going through it? Check in irregularly? It's hard when you care and love em but don't wanna cross boundaries.
i'm not even close to a professional but maybe remind them you're there if they change their mind
Maybe check them on regular or irregular basis. Approach as friend but be there if they need any sort of help. Hope your friend is doing okay
My depressed boyfriend asked to stop our relationship(actually I think what he meant is to end it) when his depression broke out last month. I didn’t text him until last week for giving him some space and time to figure out something. And this is what I said at that time. “[Name], I have thought of you and your situation quite often since then. I really want to reach out to you. No matter how your life situation is. I really want to reach out to you. If that’s fine, can you give me a message?”
Then we start to text to each other. Although his reply is concise, it is still a good start. I am trying to show the positive side about my change, hoping it can motivate to take some action, not just saying.
Sometimes people would ask how I’m feeling
What to do if someone is always looking for your attention like a child? You try your level best to give enough time but still the other person is complaining gets on your nerves.... what to do?
I told the Person, “you don’t have depression” well i didn’t think they did? some very young people, told me don’t ever say that!
When asking if there’s anything I can help he said to not pressure him (aka don’t ask to meet up) and maybe no talking even
I wish all were like u but no they just take adv...But with Prays All things are possible
The thing is i dont know if my friend currently has depression. They'r just not smiling at all and keep saying theyr just tired. Should i still try to engage with them? Because im actually gonna have to ask if they feel depressed, and i just dont know how to do that.
(My friend have had depression before, so im extra worried)
hello, how do you encourage them to seek hel from mental health professionals? Thank you
I'm trying to help a friend overcome her depression. I would do anything to help her, expecting nothing in return. But she seems to be trying to avoid me. It happens that I love her, I didn't tell her, but she suspects it. And I think she's not interested in having a relationship with me, even if she's free from depression. How should I behave?
I wish you were my friend, 🙊 I know that's not possible. You would understand me. So frustrating trying to tell someone im not ok, tonight suicide seems like only option, im alone and lost. Love your videos, sorry im sad
Hey Steve, I'm not Yeonni but, I am a random individual who cares about you. We are both here because we have similar interests in the content she informs us about. Would you give me the opportunity to try to understand you? This is a community of those who care and for those who would want some care or even want to learn how to care. Just know we are here to talk if you would like! I'm all ears and ready anytime.
I really appreciate that. I was getting help but I can't afford it now. The needs were working kind of but as soon as I started to feel better and I missed less work,,, then I made to much money for assistance. Now I have all these bills and back to square 1. I have already lost my mother and brother to suicide im just tired. Being a baby, I want to give up. What's one more light that goes out in a billion stars, im sorry but I think there is no hope for me,
@@cesarespinoza4804 I really appreciate your gesture. Im so broken
SteveO I hear you, and I’m sorry to hear about your mother and brother. Debt is a problem that is fixable over a long term. It isn’t impossible to do but, I know it must feel like it when it’s piled on. Let’s take deep breathes and think about the progress you HAVE made and how that was making you feel. Having emotions does not make you baby. It’s okay to feel feelings. To feel overwhelmed, frustrated, sad, happy, hopeful, etc. Now if you don’t mind me asking, what do you do on your spare time when you are feeling happy or when you are feeling sad?
Hi Steve, I’m glad to see you here. I’m sorry you are going through so much, how did that mountain bike ride go? Could you go biking today?
Is there any way that you could upload a video of you reading your personal statement for NYU. Finished mine but not sure if it’s what they’re looking for .
Oh wowww oh man that’s definitely an interesting video idea! I do hesitate when i get questions/ requests about NYU admissions because I’m not on their admission board and don’t want to say anything that could give false hope or just be false! I think a general video on grad school personal statements could be really helpful though?
❤️❤️❤️
My online friend who was struggling with depression has blocked me and its been a month what should I do?
What if that person pushes you away? No matter how much u let them know u r there for them ... They distance themselves saying they dont want to bother us. What to do at such times??
don't leave them because this is exactly time when they need you
Hey,I'm in the same situation with you. What I do is, I don't take her actions in heart and just vebthere for her. Be patient and continue to give and show support always cuzco they need it
I agree. In fact, the discussion of depression is Too important a topic to be left in the hands of untrained individuals. Exactly what are your qualifications?
Nice video, the most important I think is that we have to just be for our friends and just listen to them when they have a problem and we shouldnt be optimistic by force or make someone do that. And also we can give bad advice when we dont know well this person or their history. We should at first get to know someone's story. And we also as you mentioned ask if sb wants to talk about sth, this person with depression and other person. For me it is sometimes hard to accept it but it is important because this is the respect to other person, and it is about the trust. But I disagree on one thing, talking about going to doctor may be very important. And maybe they need encouragement, but when we see at least little willingness and consent in them to be treated (I'm not talking about extreme cases). It is important (when you are diagnosed) to take pills and go to therapy. Hard moments will be, of course, but you should change something, try for yourself and for your close friends/family, everyday on and on, on bad and good days and seriously taking pills systematically and put into practice the thoughts from therapy. This is hard but it is worth it.
Hey it'll mean a lot , if you see this and reply, I was in a relationship but i unwantingly hurted her i broke her trust now I want to regain it and make her comfortable and secure,plz help
My son 17 years old im lost as a dad what to do this helps
How do you help someone, who doesn't want help/has no will or motivation to get better/no will to live.......
I'm struggling with my gf quite hard on this one, recently been getting frustrated even :/
I have a question: how do you cheer an insecure person up if everything they say about themself is _true?_ My neighbor feels like a loser and was expressing his self-doubt and pain. But The thing is...everything he said was completely right. He has a learning disability and ASD; he's a very slow learner; he can't drive; he's lived with his mom for 27 years and has never moved out; he went to a small charter school instead of the superior local public high school; he graduated at 20, not 18; he depends on others to do tasks right; he can't manage things alone very well; his boss won't let him work shifts alone, without someone to guide him. I don't see his skills or potential. So...I don't know what to tell him. I actually agree that the people around him (and many more, of course) are better. He...actually _is_ less/lesser, as far as I'm concerned. So yeah...what do you say to someone when their pain and insecurities are part of the truth and aren't exaggerated? I don't know what to tell this guy, so I didn't say anything when he talked about how weak and inferior he was.
Great question!
@@nancybuck1790Yes, that's the answer I Was looking for: confirmation that it's a great question
Hello!!
how can one over come stress , loss of appetite and sleeping disorders???
The question is: How does a person with depression deal with or care for someone with FTD ( front temple dementia)?
My mom is having a real hard time with depression ..and I feel helpless..I do a lot of the things you say..what do you do when they always say they rather be dead? its so hard to hear my mom saying this...she says she doesn't want to be on this earth anymore... I have no clue what do to....Ive tried everything..🥺 she thinks she doesn't have a purpose to live anymore..
I am so sorry, I hope your mom will get the help that she deserves. 😥
@@ga44el thank you.. 🙏
Hii everyone I'm someone who is not struggling with depression but I have a friend who is struggling but the problem is we live far away like veryy far and I cant meet him anytime soon but I really want to help him through out but all i can afford is texting please someone suggest me what should I do...he on purpose never talks about it as well because he too knows I cant be there to assist him please share your ideas I really need help and I'm very confused how should I approach him he never talks about it but when he does I can understand he really needs help(his parents are no help and he already goes to counselling) any ideas will be appreciated
Im beyond these now; it doesn’t help me anymore; im getting worse
Hard to engage with them when they dint want to engage...
How do I share this video with my friends without it being obvious..
I dont like my sister, I hate her Shes done so many rotten and horrible things to me that damaged my reputation amongst everyone I know, she spills my secrets that ive never told her to my friends because she has none and ive never told her anything abt me or my secrets. she looked through my phone and read almost all my text messages, blamed my friend's actions on me..she acts like a child..my mom tried to tell me that I needed to be her friend and act kinder, But I will never effing do that I can't even explain it through comments how much shes put me through she finally moved to another continent ...I always knew there was something wrong with my sister yk..talking abt suicide and stuff. My mom told me she was in a hospital rn, couldnt really care less but then she said it was a mental hospital or smth,, turns out she has chronic depression and has the mental capacity of a child, so everything makes sense now. I feel so bad for her, but I cant get myself to love her im 13 trying to teach myself how I can act more mature the do's and dont's on how to help someone with depression Ive watched a few videos on how to help someone with chronic depression and how to help someone with a mental disabillity but this was by far the best one, I really liked how you didnt make it hard to understand the fact not all of us are really fluent in english or can really understand those other vids this was by far the best, Loved it
hope I can help my sister with this, even though I dont like her much:)
I did...got text...leave me out i want to die...and he blocked me
Lástima que no está subtitulado al español, mi inglés no llega a tanto, pero lo intentaré
Lo siento! Puedo hablar y entender espanol un poquito pero no estoy fluido :( Creo que hay muchos sitios web con mas consejos! Buenas suerte!
@@hi.yeonni muchas gracias.!!! Un abrazo grande.
I'm interested on your thoughts on MBTI and the cognitive functions. I suspect that you're an ENFJ or ESFJ.
Hi there! I find personality tests really interesting, plays a lot on generalized human shared experiences and social psychology. I actually fluctuate between INFJ to ENFJ here and there ^^
@@hi.yeonni The general shared experiences and social psychology are the surface layer that gets people in. The whole system, instead of the letters, is actually made up of cognitive functions. The combination of letters is really a code to identify a combination of different cognitive functions. It's way more interesting once you get into this aspect.
@@hi.yeonni It's more about the actual concepts themselves, rather than profiles and tests. Also, something which I wanted to say in the beginning, I'm so glad you replied and are interested in this stuff
Its actually very fascinating!!
@@hi.yeonni (◍•ᴗ•◍) I'm glad you of all people have a similar attitude and interest towards it, but then again most INFJs seem to gravitate towards this stuff anyway, because of the very nature of both INFJs and really just intuitive (N) types in general and these personality typing systems 😂. If you want to know more about that, we could talk about it some time when you're interested or available. 🙃
Repeating the same lines over and over… beating around the bush !! The video ended 😅
Can someone please tell me What could be unsolicited advice? Can you give me an example so I can make sure I am not doing this. Thank You
Telling them to go a therapist when it might not be in their control
One minute video made into 14 minutes 😅😅😅😅😅
Empathy is almost prohibited by lawyers. Difficult to help. Too easy to get sued.
The transcript doesn't match 😕
okayy so dont tell them to kill themselves didnt work out