This is so hard when the other person isn't trying to communicate this way, and it's even harder to control my responses to be soft, loving and respectful. I'm so emotionally exhausted, but asking the Lord for strength, help and forgiveness everyday.
Keeping our tongue is hard, when the other person or spouse mindset says it's their way or the highway. Refusing to communicate. Instead just rule dominant , dictator & narcissm. Refusing to see & acknowledge faults combined with Lack of training & refuses help & Christian counseling.
It’s a difficult thing to be sinned against and not retaliate or sin back. You need to really rely on the Lord for your strength and contentment. I needed this word today. Thank you.
This is so true when we are being honest. Jesus left us great examples and most of all His Holy Spirit, ask for the help of the Holy Spirit to do what only the Holy Spirit can allow.
@@dove628 Im so sorry about that. Maybe watch the chosen at home in the living room? See if that works? For me I use Jesus for my reasoning behind forgiveness, kindness “Jesus wants me to forgive you, so I forgive you, ___”
I think newlyweds need a lot more support than they get and whenever I try to talk about my incredible disappointments of finding that my husband was not perfect I was chastised for not respecting him but I don't get it because nobody's perfect and every single person who's never been in an intimate relationship believes this fairytale idea about marriage and then we find out it's not true and that is incredibly crushing!! And then you feel all alone because you feel like Christians are going to judge you for not respecting your husband but all you want to do is talk about the reality and have some help through your mourning of your fairy tale ideology
Me mirroring to him is a weapon. I can’t ask him anything without a fight. I know he is going through something and I ask if he ok, that turns into a battle and it goes on for days. I can only communicate with him on his terms. His terms is when he feels like it and whatever I bring up it is shut down. I open up to him about all my faults and he gives nothing. At the slightest anger he slaps me with what I told him at the first chance he gets. I told him that hurts and he says “I don’t understand”. I told him I hate myself because I am trying to love me and him but the constant negativity, put downs and withdraws is too much. Am I wrong for showing him my faults? Should I continue to act like nothing is wrong? I get no respect from him. When he goes out he is the most happiest, loving man and I look at that and I crave it. It doesn’t matter how kind or gracious I am, I’m not enough. I feel like he thinks ignoring me and grabbing me and sexing me it the give all. It’s something he wants so I give it. He gets up and will never address anything I ask, which is mainly to love me how I want it. Which is with talking, planning, and affection. When the time is always in his court I am getting tired. 😢
Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7
Sounds abusive. Put boundaries and hold to them. If he can't or won't hold them time to separate. Not divorce necessarily. Although that could be the final boundary. A hard truth to face is that he may not care about you. Prayed for you and the relationship.
So sorry ❤ Do you see a counselor? Having someone objective help you work through things and set boundaries and pray with you would be a great support for you.
I tried to reach out to our community. It was bad. He was a pastor for 15 years and our relations have always been horrible. So I asked for help from our pastor and I was attacked by him and he served me with divorce papers He came back two months ago and the pattern is the same. I feel so alone bc I have no one to go to and it’s getting worse - again No communication and it hurts like a knife. He does things behind my back such as opening a business, withdrawing his money and doesn’t give the whole truth. I’m so tired and feel like they did. I feel like dying some days. He has no emotions and that’s for everyone in his life. He doesn’t relate to anyone and gets mad at me still for talking to people. It doesn’t matter about what, I’m just not allowed to have any communication with anyone. But our communication is solely arguing and I am tired. Tired, tired 😢
It’s 10 months since you write the comment. I hope you are doing better. I don’t have advice other than reach out to others who can help you walk through this and lean on the Word
I’ve got no roots but my home was never on the ground I’ve got no roots but my home was never on the ground I’ve got no roo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oots No roots in this world MY ROOTS ARE IN JESUS CHRIST NOT IN A SPOUSE BUT IN JESUS CHRIST ALONE hey hey hey
I observed a wife speaking harshly to her husband and asked why she only speaks that way to him but conversely, she speaks so sweetly and respectfully to male members of the congregation, and her reply was along the lines of, I don't live with them so I don't see their bad side, but I see my husband's bad side for the last more than 30 years, but if I got to see their bad side, I would speak the same to them. I guess she feels once she sees your bad side or your imperfections or your flaws, then you are deserving of being spoken to so harshly. And so it seems to mean that, in her own eyes, she never has to change or improve her harsh way of speaking to her husband nor anyone else whose flaws she has discovered. 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ **pulling my hair out with frustration **🥲🥲🥲
Here we have it Functioning in the church ( in there flesh) not walking in the Spirit Is it any wonder the Holy Spirit Can do no work/ little work in our Faith communities
Thank you FOTF. This couple was exactly like my relationship now. We're just about to get married and I'm concerned that we are not ready. Is it normal to need couples counseling before we are married? My heart is so happy and heavy at the same time. I surrender myself to Jesus Christ. Please Lord hear our prayers. Amen. I'm praying everyday. I'm willing to do whatever.
I don't think anyone wants to be a downer but after the honeymoon is a serious and real thing so it's almost as if I would like it if young people were offered "hey when the honeymoon wears off let me know and I'll be here for you"
What about men who are believing lies that their wives are telling them they are bad husband and don't like the step kids and only want to be controlling??
I know I am not a perfect husband, and I fall short, but it is very hard when my wife reacts with verbal abuse and name calling especially in front of the kids. It’s so hard not to get upset
I'm intrigued by this content. I’ve encountered a book with similar themes that was transformative. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
I really have a hard time speaking up when something bothers me. It’s really hard at times, and I just bite my tongue when my husband asks me if something is bothering me. For it to come out later and it makes him really upset that I didn’t say it when he asked. It makes him feel like he can’t trust me. And I can’t explain why I do this. But I don’t want to be this way. I want to be able to speak how I feel even if it’s uncomfortable. He brought up divorce cuz it’s been a year since we been married and he says we won’t work cuz of this. I don’t want that at all. Please any advice, I need it. I dont want to lose my husband over my communication lacking. 😢
What if your spouse gave up? I don’t need or want someone who gave up and doesn’t want to fight for his wife and his kids. He willing to walk away because it’s easier than dealing and working things out…than reconciling. Why do I need to hang on hope when I feel like there’s no hope in the horizon. I should give up too. I’m fighting a loosing battle anyway so why continue to fight when I’m fighting alone. I should just let him go…release him. He has thrown our 13yrs of our marriage. Why should I keep him when he made no effort to want to be in a marriage. I’m sad the most is that my kids will/is in a broken family. They won’t have both parents. They already accepted things as they are. On top of that, my kids lost respect for their dad because of his actions and his abusiveness. Maybe it’s best to let him go than have him in our lives. So what is the point in reconciliation? It takes both parties to participate in working things out. Basically, my kids and I are ready and is prepared for him to divorce us. Maybe it’s better to end it than hanging on to hopeless 😢
They are being transparent! It’s nice to hear - it’s difficult to think one made a mistake and one wanna honor the COVENANT one entered into. The outcome of who they can help through their ministry is the harvest, for God’s glory. The problem is like someone’s sharing here sounds like in abusive relationship and be not supported cause of perception in “CHURCH” we can’t be transparent! JUST GIVE ME JESUS - HE SUPPLIES ALL THAT I NEED!
I love these two people. Real lives, sacrificing their will/desires. For God's will. Empowered by Holy Spirit to fulfill God's will. Watch video and book. I never heard their six day experience, but i laughed so hard. I can see this being talked out in the home. This is what is meant of loving Saint. I love and your family ❤❤❤
This is so hard when the other person isn't trying to communicate this way, and it's even harder to control my responses to be soft, loving and respectful. I'm so emotionally exhausted, but asking the Lord for strength, help and forgiveness everyday.
I wanted to check in and learn how things are going with you! I pray you share an update ❤
Keeping our tongue is hard, when the other person or spouse mindset says it's their way or the highway. Refusing to communicate. Instead just rule dominant , dictator & narcissm. Refusing to see & acknowledge faults combined with Lack of training & refuses help & Christian counseling.
It’s a difficult thing to be sinned against and not retaliate or sin back. You need to really rely on the Lord for your strength and contentment. I needed this word today. Thank you.
💯
Yes grace and mercy
My husband is not a follower of Christ is difficult married for 33 yrs , its hard to stay 😢
This is so true when we are being honest. Jesus left us great examples
and most of all His Holy Spirit, ask for the help of the Holy Spirit to do what only the Holy Spirit can allow.
For sure
My husband and I listened to this together on our bus ride. This was amazing. He and I both loved it. ❤
Mine won't listen to these, he's closed minded & I'm exhausted
@@dove628 Im so sorry about that. Maybe watch the chosen at home in the living room? See if that works? For me I use Jesus for my reasoning behind forgiveness, kindness “Jesus wants me to forgive you, so I forgive you, ___”
The worst is when you have no idea
What the fight is about
The devil is such a liar
Listen to the Holy Spirit
Turn a deaf ear to the enemy
Amen 🙏. This is our entire problem
@@SecurelyInsecure
Do you know what makes for the best relationship- have fun
Fun is not over-rated
P. S. Communication is at an all time high 💯
Ephesians 4:26-27
“Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.”
I needed this engaged to be married this year and we need all the tools we can get because healthy communication is a big thing
So so wise!! No matter how many years you've been married, there's always ways to improve. ❤❤❤
Very transparent couple. Thank you very much for your honesty.
I'm blessed to have Rob Flood as one of my pastors.
Cut for cut
A wounded mess
Lord help us with our heart issues
Help us to have clean hands
Pure hearts
Amen
Communication in relationships
Is hard
I am however a firm believer in the
Word of The Almighty
I think newlyweds need a lot more support than they get and whenever I try to talk about my incredible disappointments of finding that my husband was not perfect I was chastised for not respecting him but I don't get it because nobody's perfect and every single person who's never been in an intimate relationship believes this fairytale idea about marriage and then we find out it's not true and that is incredibly crushing!! And then you feel all alone because you feel like Christians are going to judge you for not respecting your husband but all you want to do is talk about the reality and have some help through your mourning of your fairy tale ideology
The Gospel of Jesus Christ is *the only message in the world* that has the power to transform hearts 💔->❤️
By God’s grace 🙏
And for God’s glory 👆🏼
Communication is key!
Wow I know these two. I used to go th their church. A very lovely couple
The like the clarifying and mirroring technique
Me mirroring to him is a weapon. I can’t ask him anything without a fight. I know he is going through something and I ask if he ok, that turns into a battle and it goes on for days. I can only communicate with him on his terms. His terms is when he feels like it and whatever I bring up it is shut down. I open up to him about all my faults and he gives nothing. At the slightest anger he slaps me with what I told him at the first chance he gets. I told him that hurts and he says “I don’t understand”. I told him I hate myself because I am trying to love me and him but the constant negativity, put downs and withdraws is too much. Am I wrong for showing him my faults? Should I continue to act like nothing is wrong? I get no respect from him. When he goes out he is the most happiest, loving man and I look at that and I crave it. It doesn’t matter how kind or gracious I am, I’m not enough.
I feel like he thinks ignoring me and grabbing me and sexing me it the give all. It’s something he wants so I give it. He gets up and will never address anything I ask, which is mainly to love me how I want it. Which is with talking, planning, and affection.
When the time is always in his court I am getting tired.
😢
Reach out to focus on the family!
Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7
Sounds abusive. Put boundaries and hold to them. If he can't or won't hold them time to separate. Not divorce necessarily. Although that could be the final boundary. A hard truth to face is that he may not care about you. Prayed for you and the relationship.
So sorry ❤ Do you see a counselor? Having someone objective help you work through things and set boundaries and pray with you would be a great support for you.
Hello fellow believer! You message made me want to reach out to learn how things are today, with you, your husband and your covenant. Would you share?
Thank you so much for your honesty
Side note, this lady's hair is enviable!
Working nights and taking care of kids during the day. makes it super hard to have time to have a conversation lots of times.
I'm late subscribing but have been listening to the contributors for over 10+ years mostly radio.
Thank you!❤️
I tried to reach out to our community. It was bad. He was a pastor for 15 years and our relations have always been horrible. So I asked for help from our pastor and I was attacked by him and he served me with divorce papers
He came back two months ago and the pattern is the same. I feel so alone bc I have no one to go to and it’s getting worse - again
No communication and it hurts like a knife. He does things behind my back such as opening a business, withdrawing his money and doesn’t give the whole truth. I’m so tired and feel like they did. I feel like dying some days. He has no emotions and that’s for everyone in his life. He doesn’t relate to anyone and gets mad at me still for talking to people. It doesn’t matter about what, I’m just not allowed to have any communication with anyone. But our communication is solely arguing and I am tired. Tired, tired 😢
Because, you decided to share this online ... know that someone is praying for you. Most Importantly, however, ensure that you NEVER stop
I can relate to this. This is me now
It’s 10 months since you write the comment. I hope you are doing better. I don’t have advice other than reach out to others who can help you walk through this and lean on the Word
Enlightening
I listen to focus on the family and family life on my headphones that has a built in radio I listen to it in my bed when I'm sleeping
Really I want to listen to that to such a Resourceful program
This was great
I’ve got no roots but my home was never on the ground
I’ve got no roots but my home was never on the ground
I’ve got no roo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oots
No roots in this world
MY ROOTS ARE IN JESUS CHRIST
NOT IN A SPOUSE
BUT IN JESUS CHRIST ALONE
hey hey hey
I observed a wife speaking harshly to her husband and asked why she only speaks that way to him but conversely, she speaks so sweetly and respectfully to male members of the congregation, and her reply was along the lines of, I don't live with them so I don't see their bad side, but I see my husband's bad side for the last more than 30 years, but if I got to see their bad side, I would speak the same to them.
I guess she feels once she sees your bad side or your imperfections or your flaws, then you are deserving of being spoken to so harshly.
And so it seems to mean that, in her own eyes, she never has to change or improve her harsh way of speaking to her husband nor anyone else whose flaws she has discovered. 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
**pulling my hair out with frustration **🥲🥲🥲
She's just bitter. Holding grudges. This is just like me. I don't like this about myself.
I have encountered many women that way in my personal life. It’s sin just like everything else that has to be dealt with
mirroring I guess is another word for assuming, which is really bad in marriage.
Here we have it
Functioning in the church ( in there flesh)
not walking in the Spirit
Is it any wonder the Holy Spirit
Can do no work/ little work in our
Faith communities
I will be off Monday-wednesday!
I'll be back on Thursday night!
Thank you FOTF. This couple was exactly like my relationship now. We're just about to get married and I'm concerned that we are not ready. Is it normal to need couples counseling before we are married? My heart is so happy and heavy at the same time. I surrender myself to Jesus Christ. Please Lord hear our prayers. Amen.
I'm praying everyday. I'm willing to do whatever.
Get premarital if not already. Stay in the word and continue to pray, obey the Lord.
I don't think anyone wants to be a downer but after the honeymoon is a serious and real thing so it's almost as if I would like it if young people were offered "hey when the honeymoon wears off let me know and I'll be here for you"
I think the first word that should come out of your mouth when arguing or talking to each other should be, honey!
I got cussed at for calling mine hunny just the other day.
What about men who are believing lies that their wives are telling them they are bad husband and don't like the step kids and only want to be controlling??
I know I am not a perfect husband, and I fall short, but it is very hard when my wife reacts with verbal abuse and name calling especially in front of the kids. It’s so hard not to get upset
You should both read why mats and Venus collide
I'm intrigued by this content. I’ve encountered a book with similar themes that was transformative. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
I really have a hard time speaking up when something bothers me. It’s really hard at times, and I just bite my tongue when my husband asks me if something is bothering me. For it to come out later and it makes him really upset that I didn’t say it when he asked. It makes him feel like he can’t trust me. And I can’t explain why I do this. But I don’t want to be this way. I want to be able to speak how I feel even if it’s uncomfortable. He brought up divorce cuz it’s been a year since we been married and he says we won’t work cuz of this. I don’t want that at all. Please any advice, I need it. I dont want to lose my husband over my communication lacking. 😢
What if your spouse gave up? I don’t need or want someone who gave up and doesn’t want to fight for his wife and his kids. He willing to walk away because it’s easier than dealing and working things out…than reconciling. Why do I need to hang on hope when I feel like there’s no hope in the horizon. I should give up too. I’m fighting a loosing battle anyway so why continue to fight when I’m fighting alone. I should just let him go…release him. He has thrown our 13yrs of our marriage. Why should I keep him when he made no effort to want to be in a marriage. I’m sad the most is that my kids will/is in a broken family. They won’t have both parents. They already accepted things as they are. On top of that, my kids lost respect for their dad because of his actions and his abusiveness. Maybe it’s best to let him go than have him in our lives. So what is the point in reconciliation? It takes both parties to participate in working things out. Basically, my kids and I are ready and is prepared for him to divorce us. Maybe it’s better to end it than hanging on to hopeless 😢
Repent , Jesus is at the door
The kingdom of Heaven is at hand
You must be born again or you will not see the kingdom of Heaven
8:55 A Foolish Marriage. Based on Proverbs 18.
Sun night:new
Mon-wed night Off (already done)
Thu night new
What kind of psychos pray for their new spouse to die? Get help people
So I feel like you're just hear to be negative but you're not wrong
@MBoykin1982 I really enjoy this Pod, but this couple was NOT what I'd hope to represent "Better ways to Communicate with your Spouse"
@@MichaelPressler970 oh I totally agree. These emotions expressed and examples were very extreme
They are being transparent! It’s nice to hear - it’s difficult to think one made a mistake and one wanna honor the COVENANT one entered into. The outcome of who they can help through their ministry is the harvest, for God’s glory. The problem is like someone’s sharing here sounds like in abusive relationship and be not supported cause of perception in “CHURCH” we can’t be transparent! JUST GIVE ME JESUS - HE SUPPLIES ALL THAT I NEED!
I love these two people. Real lives, sacrificing their will/desires. For God's will. Empowered by Holy Spirit to fulfill God's will. Watch video and book.
I never heard their six day experience, but i laughed so hard. I can see this being talked out in the home. This is what is meant of loving Saint.
I love and your family
❤❤❤
Such a great episode. Thank you for sharing