moral of the story: stay away from social media outlets & protect your peace. I don’t have anything, going on 8 years strong, & I wouldn’t trade my peace of mind for anything in this world. dedicate the time you would waste on social media to expanding your own mind/spirit & grow.
Character is everything for me, if morals, integrity and self love is not there I can't. Learnt the hard way thinking a man will suddenly develop a good character.
This is a great message to everyone, especially our youths! You are beautiful in your own way, keep working on your inner self and you will see that you were already beautifully made.
Choosing someone for their outer shell is like Kinder Surprise, you never know what you gonna get inside. So if you want to be happy, valued, cherished, appreciated, respected, loved and cared for, you need to look at their mindset, character and heart because those dictate how they see life, relationships, how they think their partner should be treated or how money should be earned and spent. That's how you check you are not starting a lifetime roadtrip with someone who only wants a picnic.
yes..I agree..kinder surprise..lol and each time I get a kinder surprise 90% of the times im disappointed and I throw the toy away ..so thats telling lol..but yeah I think when we fancy someone it is hard..but I have learnt that for example I fancied a man infatuated by his look..but I dont know him..and I know some men I thought were nice looking enough but after trying to get to know them..I lost interest because I can see they dont care about me..
@@irlandaise5631 Thank you & for sharing ! The trick is that once you realize you only stand to lose when you start liking people and developing feelings based on how they look without knowing their character, you won't allow yourself to do that anymore. Something will shift and change inside you and you won't consider anyone until you see what kind of person they are.
@@CarmenLifeCoach Yes I wont allow this again..I still fancy that man I dont know..and i ignore him now on the street as I cant handle it when I look at him..but I realise he may have no character..and I dont know where his morals stand..There is something off with a male friend so I talked about hollywood..because he is against it..and the horrible degrading sexual violence in movies against women..and he gave me a strange look..there it confirmed to me he was a pervert..and he pretended to not know what I was talking about and he asked 'do you mean rape?' As he showed me his youtube feed the previous week with S content ..telling me he doesnt search for that..a lie in fact.he is not transparent and he is a christian and pro marriage man..looks at women girls in obvious long manner .. and looked at my tummy while my hand was in my kangaroo pocket of my hoodie due to my period .. once or twice he looked around my chest and I’m always with hoodies
Life becomes simple when you start looking at people's hearts instead of their faces. Once you meet good looking or rich persons but notice they have small hearts, poor mindsets or low-characters, you will realize it yourself where you need to look first when you meet someone new. You will now know why you need to be stubborn about your standards and flexible about your preferences.
The concept of “beauty” has become so skewed now due to IG and other social media outlets. It’s to the point now where we almost don’t know what a regular person looks like anymore.
Tony....there's only a select few Kings like you and Pastor Blakes forreal! Real Kings know how to walk as such, behave as such and will never place their wives in a position because their flesh is ruling them! If we know who we are then we will LIVE how God so desire for us and will settle for nothing but his standards! Real Kings know true Queens even when they have flaws, knowing that not one person is perfect!
I used to know a man who weighed 300 lbs,. and was 5 feet 8 inches tall. But he said he wouldn't date a heavy woman. I was like, man, have you looked in the mirror???
This video is so on point Tony. Whenever someone sends me a post on someone’s relationship and starts going into “why can’t I have this” I have to remind them that we really don’t know what’s going on in their relationship. All we know is what they are showing us in the moment. We have to fall in love with ourselves and our lives and strive for better (if that’s what we want) and not get caught up in the lives of people who we have no clue on how they got where they are.
Yesssss! Almost every video Tony does brings my mind back to my ex toxic situationship. He said I checked off 8 out of 10 of his preferences and because of this he refused to leave me alone. He was definitely my cup of tea physically, but we were not compatible at all! I was weak for him. It was so painful to leave that mess. Then I found Tony right after I healed. 🙌🙏🏻
@@breannn it has a lot to do with socialization esp. in the black community (what's left of it). Girls are taught to find a husband, settle down because we have the babies; boys are taught being promiscuous defines a man. Huge mismatch.
@@carolyn4realife exactly growing up I see older black men teaching the young men how to get girls how to be a player but I don’t ever hear them teaching our men about cherishing a woman, postpartum, the importance of being a father head of the household the leader etc like other races. They need to do better
Let the character be their currency and understand the difference between preferences vs standards. This is essential when evaluating new relationships.
Tony!!!!!! I been saying this same thing. I swear I live on the wrong planet 🌎 when I look at society lol. I could not stay on IG because it just seemed like too many,not all, are just copy and paste lives. Competition and keeping up with the Jones’s. I’m 39 and never thought I would see the day when people are aiming to look like the filtered versions of themselves or not look like themselves at all. People can do what they want with their money, but I think there is a deeper disconnect within society and social media. The only social media I look at is TH-cam and particular about who I watch. What goes in our spirits come out. Just my opinion. Thanks for bringing this topic to light.
Same with me. I only look at TH-cam, because I'm here to learn, become wise and not let lack of knowledge keeps me in bondage nor in deception. Most people are too busy living of this world that they want to look like the world and refused to live by the Word of God. I refuse to be worldly filled through my flesh and be spiritually voided. When we are filled spiritually, we lack nothing of this 🌎. People have to get their own Revelation and be ready to choose what side they'll live by, but it can't be darkness and light together. Joshua 24:15 NLT - But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”
Very pathetic for men and women who go after a special looks and material things. The beauty in a lady or a human being is your behavior. The way you treat people, the way you carry your self. Tony I don't understand why people are going for looks and material things in relationships . I believe that the peace of mind being with a partner is priceless. They go after looks and materials, and at the end of the day , they are unhappy. People should remember that every thing of this world is nothing but vanity. People should be looking for a partner that will help them grow together In their relationship with our CREATOR GOD. We should also remember that we are in the end time. Let us repent now before it gets too late.May GOD deliver us all in YESHUA JESUS name. Love your videos Tony. Thanks for all you are doing to help open the eyes of women finding or in relationships.
Progress over perfection. You can never be perfect but can continue to progress. And we shouldn't compare ourselves amongst ourselves. Just keep going and keep growing...
I was looking for perfection until i started watching these videos. I realize now that love is not a spark in the sky from a arrow, it is a desire and a choice "two" people "choose" to reciprocate.
This is really only an issue in the Blk Community if we’re keeping it honest. And this is really as a result of Blk people ONLY seeing value in our bodies. Blk Men only see their value as it relates to their *literal* physicality (how many women they can sleep with, how cool do they look, what do they have) and Blk Women with our *literal* figures (does she have a big 🍑 if so is it perfectly proportional to her body and does she have a small waist, good skin, perfect smile, light enough skin tone, naturally curly hair) and this is what makes our community STAY in degradation. Once we see ourselves as more than just our literal bodies that’s when we’ll be able to move as a collective…but that’s sadly not likely to ever happen because we’re just to far gone as a collective 🤷🏽♀️
I like what you just wrote, very insightful. I have a question, why do Blk Men give up on Blk Women? They say they want European, Asian, or Latinas because they are thinner and feminine. I don't understand why they are not looking at East African women (Ethiopians) Many of them are thin, wear their natural hair, and are feminen? and Why aren't Blk women looking at men in South Africa or Ghana for a Blk man if they are so tired of African American men's ways?
I'm not on social media. Do not have a Instagram or Facebook account. Do not follow no one, but GOD. I just want someone to accept me and my babies for who we are and love us. And they will receive the same from us. That's all. And it seems like, that's too much to ask for. So, I don't know. I don't expect perfection, cause I'm not perfect. But, I do expect respect, understanding, acceptance and love. Nuff said!!
This is so on time! I love how you updated this one in comparison to the one you posted last year. I just listened to both and although both are EXTREMELY valuable and important, I think this is the one I needed most, as it aligns with today’s world/society. Thank you Mr. Gaskins! 💪🏾🔥
Window & Realist Everyone have a time space to set their agenda & take off. Generally we go thru society norms & feel that work & relationships suppose to shape themselves around our ideas, which will not happen. Realistic is a skill set, if a person present themselves to you that not your ideal attraction let them explore their action w/o your interjection. That exercise will work itself out.
Everyone tell me that I got a good husband, they don't know who he really is.He put on a show for everyone but give me Hell behind doors.....aI am now glad I got out 2/1/2 months now .He was busy looking at another woman@ cussed me out for her.God bless them both....Because, who feels it, knows it.
Social media has people who are literally like a dogs chasing their tails. Lead a quiet life, mind your business and work with your hands 1 Thessalonians 4:11 - It’s that simple.. 😅
I think a slightly shorter man than me ghosted me for a shorter woman than him so he can feel more of a man..I never noticed it before until I d see him on the street with way shorter than him women..if thats the case..thats ridiculous..as I declared my love at first sight for him..
@@Stormy867 ok but I didn’t lower any standards though .. i simply said a man chose preference over standard but then again maybe it’s more complicated than this - there needs to be mutual understanding and communication.. I have new male friends for example I realised too that it’s not easy to talk to them .. and A husband should be easy to talk with .. maybe TG shoild do a video on this .. that it should be easy and communication should be effortless
Plastic surgery is awesome BUT rmeeber its small percentage of woman who do it out of all the woman and girls in ur range.m maybe areas like los angeles and Miami maybe xx amount of 10 girls there have surgery but then go to Kansas or a random country city they arent doing surgery there.. so rmemeber that theres only top 5 cities really and top 3 cities people really go to for surgery due to the doctors in that area abd city a certain look is beautiful
It's not that most men are looking for perfection. It's the fact men want women who are in shape, fit, & beautiful. Not this body positivity crap they keep shoving on us. Obesity isn't attractive to most men. C'mon Tony Gaskins, even the bible teaches us to be in good health.
moral of the story: stay away from social media outlets & protect your peace. I don’t have anything, going on 8 years strong, & I wouldn’t trade my peace of mind for anything in this world. dedicate the time you would waste on social media to expanding your own mind/spirit & grow.
We are in the top 10% 👑
Character is everything for me, if morals, integrity and self love is not there I can't. Learnt the hard way thinking a man will suddenly develop a good character.
Right. Character for the win
MERCY! That's a WHOLE WORD!
Unrealistic EXPECTATIONS is a killer of relationships.
This is a great message to everyone, especially our youths! You are beautiful in your own way, keep working on your inner self and you will see that you were already beautifully made.
Speak the facts🦾
Choosing someone for their outer shell is like Kinder Surprise, you never know what you gonna get inside. So if you want to be happy, valued, cherished, appreciated, respected, loved and cared for, you need to look at their mindset, character and heart because those dictate how they see life, relationships, how they think their partner should be treated or how money should be earned and spent. That's how you check you are not starting a lifetime roadtrip with someone who only wants a picnic.
yes..I agree..kinder surprise..lol and each time I get a kinder surprise 90% of the times im disappointed and I throw the toy away ..so thats telling lol..but yeah I think when we fancy someone it is hard..but I have learnt that for example I fancied a man infatuated by his look..but I dont know him..and I know some men I thought were nice looking enough but after trying to get to know them..I lost interest because I can see they dont care about me..
Mmmm You’re right about that.💯❤️
@@irlandaise5631 Thank you & for sharing ! The trick is that once you realize you only stand to lose when you start liking people and developing feelings based on how they look without knowing their character, you won't allow yourself to do that anymore. Something will shift and change inside you and you won't consider anyone until you see what kind of person they are.
@@Realness4sho Thank you very much !
@@CarmenLifeCoach
Yes I wont allow this again..I still fancy that man I dont know..and i ignore him now on the street as I cant handle it when I look at him..but I realise he may have no character..and I dont know where his morals stand..There is something off with a male friend so I talked about hollywood..because he is against it..and the horrible degrading sexual violence in movies against women..and he gave me a strange look..there it confirmed to me he was a pervert..and he pretended to not know what I was talking about and he asked 'do you mean rape?'
As he showed me his youtube feed the previous week with S content ..telling me he doesnt search for that..a lie in fact.he is not transparent and he is a christian and pro marriage man..looks at women girls in obvious long manner .. and looked at my tummy while my hand was in my kangaroo pocket of my hoodie due to my period .. once or twice he looked around my chest and I’m always with hoodies
“We seeking perfection and not progress.” TG
Life becomes simple when you start looking at people's hearts instead of their faces. Once you meet good looking or rich persons but notice they have small hearts, poor mindsets or low-characters, you will realize it yourself where you need to look first when you meet someone new. You will now know why you need to be stubborn about your standards and flexible about your preferences.
So true
@@movingforward2711 Thank you very much !
Hello Everyone, have a blessed day ..Thank you Tony 🙌🏾🙌🏾 always on time!
The concept of “beauty” has become so skewed now due to IG and other social media outlets. It’s to the point now where we almost don’t know what a regular person looks like anymore.
Tony....there's only a select few Kings like you and Pastor Blakes forreal! Real Kings know how to walk as such, behave as such and will never place their wives in a position because their flesh is ruling them! If we know who we are then we will LIVE how God so desire for us and will settle for nothing but his standards! Real Kings know true Queens even when they have flaws, knowing that not one person is perfect!
I used to know a man who weighed 300 lbs,. and was 5 feet 8 inches tall. But he said he wouldn't date a heavy woman. I was like, man, have you looked in the mirror???
Probably can't even see his peter-wacker...
@@Getitgirl816 😂😂😂😂
I have seen a man who was in his late 40s, wanting to marry a woman no older than 26. 🙄
@@kaleema1987 No, no, my cousin thinks that women in their early 30s are already infertile 🤣...
@@kaleema1987 He is now in his middle 50s... Still searching for a virgin wife not older than 26. I would say 27 is also too old for him 😅...
This video is so on point Tony. Whenever someone sends me a post on someone’s relationship and starts going into “why can’t I have this” I have to remind them that we really don’t know what’s going on in their relationship. All we know is what they are showing us in the moment. We have to fall in love with ourselves and our lives and strive for better (if that’s what we want) and not get caught up in the lives of people who we have no clue on how they got where they are.
@@wonderfullyrenee facts
Exactly....and all the folk going on about Dr Dre and his ex is annoying...LOL!!
Yesssss! Almost every video Tony does brings my mind back to my ex toxic situationship. He said I checked off 8 out of 10 of his preferences and because of this he refused to leave me alone. He was definitely my cup of tea physically, but we were not compatible at all! I was weak for him. It was so painful to leave that mess. Then I found Tony right after I healed. 🙌🙏🏻
"Im 100% faithful to my wife..TG" Every married man should be able to make this statement.
Alot of men have not reach that level of maturity.
@@breannn it has a lot to do with socialization esp. in the black community (what's left of it). Girls are taught to find a husband, settle down because we have the babies; boys are taught being promiscuous defines a man. Huge mismatch.
@@carolyn4realife exactly growing up I see older black men teaching the young men how to get girls how to be a player but I don’t ever hear them teaching our men about cherishing a woman, postpartum, the importance of being a father head of the household the leader etc like other races. They need to do better
Blackson proposed to his GF on the Breakfast Club ..did you see the statement he made?
@@clarkclarke no.
Let the character be their currency and understand the difference between preferences vs standards. This is essential when evaluating new relationships.
Tony!!!!!! I been saying this same thing. I swear I live on the wrong planet 🌎 when I look at society lol. I could not stay on IG because it just seemed like too many,not all, are just copy and paste lives. Competition and keeping up with the Jones’s. I’m 39 and never thought I would see the day when people are aiming to look like the filtered versions of themselves or not look like themselves at all. People can do what they want with their money, but I think there is a deeper disconnect within society and social media. The only social media I look at is TH-cam and particular about who I watch. What goes in our spirits come out. Just my opinion. Thanks for bringing this topic to light.
Same with me. I only look at TH-cam, because I'm here to learn, become wise and not let lack of knowledge keeps me in bondage nor in deception. Most people are too busy living of this world that they want to look like the world and refused to live by the Word of God. I refuse to be worldly filled through my flesh and be spiritually voided.
When we are filled spiritually, we lack nothing of this 🌎. People have to get their own Revelation and be ready to choose what side they'll live by, but it can't be darkness and light together.
Joshua 24:15 NLT - But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”
Very well stated. So many of our men and women are brained washed. Some of them with money trying to but love. Narcissist with STD'S!!!
@@jesuslovesyou916 I feel you 🎯
I two feel like I'm from another planet as well. I'm sooooo ready to go back.
Same!!
Very pathetic for men and women who go after a special looks and material things. The beauty in a lady or a human being is your behavior. The way you treat people, the way you carry your self. Tony I don't understand why people are going for looks and material things in relationships . I believe that the peace of mind being with a partner is priceless. They go after looks and materials, and at the end of the day , they are unhappy. People should remember that every thing of this world is nothing but vanity. People should be looking for a partner that will help them grow together In their relationship with our CREATOR GOD. We should also remember that we are in the end time. Let us repent now before it gets too late.May GOD deliver us all in YESHUA JESUS name.
Love your videos Tony. Thanks for all you are doing to help open the eyes of women finding or in relationships.
We got to love and accept ourselves as we are.
Progress over perfection.
You can never be perfect but can continue to progress. And we shouldn't compare ourselves amongst ourselves. Just keep going and keep growing...
Exactly
I was looking for perfection until i started watching these videos. I realize now that love is not a spark in the sky from a arrow, it is a desire and a choice "two" people "choose" to reciprocate.
So what it comes down to it is social media is the cause of these problems & if not social media it’s wanting what another person has
,So true Tony. Standards over preferences. I get tired of men asking for photos when they can't see their feet.
This is really only an issue in the Blk Community if we’re keeping it honest. And this is really as a result of Blk people ONLY seeing value in our bodies. Blk Men only see their value as it relates to their *literal* physicality (how many women they can sleep with, how cool do they look, what do they have) and Blk Women with our *literal* figures (does she have a big 🍑 if so is it perfectly proportional to her body and does she have a small waist, good skin, perfect smile, light enough skin tone, naturally curly hair) and this is what makes our community STAY in degradation.
Once we see ourselves as more than just our literal bodies that’s when we’ll be able to move as a collective…but that’s sadly not likely to ever happen because we’re just to far gone as a collective 🤷🏽♀️
Say it louder for the people in the back 👏🏾
This!!!
I like what you just wrote, very insightful. I have a question, why do Blk Men give up on Blk Women? They say they want European, Asian, or Latinas because they are thinner and feminine. I don't understand why they are not looking at East African women (Ethiopians) Many of them are thin, wear their natural hair, and are feminen?
and
Why aren't Blk women looking at men in South Africa or Ghana for a Blk man if they are so tired of African American men's ways?
I'm not on social media. Do not have a Instagram or Facebook account. Do not follow no one, but GOD. I just want someone to accept me and my babies for who we are and love us. And they will receive the same from us. That's all. And it seems like, that's too much to ask for. So, I don't know. I don't expect perfection, cause I'm not perfect. But, I do expect respect, understanding, acceptance and love.
Nuff said!!
This message ❤️ 🙏🏽
Tony. I like this. You always keep it real. Basic and simple. 100%. Blessings to you and family.
Nuff love and respect from Jamaica 🇯🇲
This is so on time! I love how you updated this one in comparison to the one you posted last year. I just listened to both and although both are EXTREMELY valuable and important, I think this is the one I needed most, as it aligns with today’s world/society. Thank you Mr. Gaskins! 💪🏾🔥
Excellent video as usual!
Thank you for this Mr. Gaskins! We appreciate you so much!
I DON'T WANT MR RIGHT.....ALL I WANT IS MR. RIGHT FOR ME...😁
Yup 🙏🏽🙏🏽same here
This remains me of the movie "Temptation".
Yes,I remember that movie. Lessons there
What’s the difference between dating someone with potential and a progressing relationship?
Thank you Tony 🌹🌹🌹🌹
Let’s hope we all seekin’ substance ! ❤️🙏🏿 …and strivin’ to grow and improve daily.
You are telling the truth 💯! 👏👏
Amen Tony! Be BLESSED!!!
I truly appreciate your teachings 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 Thank you!
The best advice ever
I so agree with this message 🙌🏽🙌🏽.
Window & Realist
Everyone have a time space to set their agenda & take off. Generally we go thru society norms & feel that work & relationships suppose to shape themselves around our ideas, which will not happen. Realistic is a skill set, if a person present themselves to you that not your ideal attraction let them explore their action w/o your interjection. That exercise will work itself out.
Thank you 💌
Love this!! Well said
Perfect topic for a good “T chart” and deep thought
Thank you TG 🙏🏽☀️
Bless you!
Everyone tell me that I got a good husband, they don't know who he really is.He put on a show for everyone but give me Hell behind doors.....aI am now glad I got out 2/1/2 months now .He was busy looking at another woman@ cussed me out for her.God bless them both....Because, who feels it, knows it.
Same here
@@movingforward2711 sorry that you are going through this
I take my husband because love is love , and I want him to take me because his love for me, I hope we appreciate each other.
The Stepford wives complex!
Social media has people who are literally like a dogs chasing their tails. Lead a quiet life, mind your business and work with your hands
1 Thessalonians 4:11 - It’s that simple.. 😅
All you eat is Oreos 😂😂😂😂😂
😂
I love this (‘:
“Is women with a Stomach who want a man with a 8 pack”-no , he didn’ttt-uhhh😂🤣😂 I’m deaddd-uhhh!!!☠️☠️☠️
Seen a lady at the gas station that got a bbl.. still ain’t look natural
Preach!
I think a slightly shorter man than me ghosted me for a shorter woman than him so he can feel more of a man..I never noticed it before until I d see him on the street with way shorter than him women..if thats the case..thats ridiculous..as I declared my love at first sight for him..
This always happens! When I lower my standards far as looks and status, I got hurt the most!
@@Stormy867 ok but I didn’t lower any standards though .. i simply said a man chose preference over standard but then again maybe it’s more complicated than this - there needs to be mutual understanding and communication.. I have new male friends for example I realised too that it’s not easy to talk to them .. and
A husband should be easy to talk with .. maybe TG shoild do a video on this .. that it should be easy and communication should be effortless
I would love for you to do a video on how porn destroys your marriage!
5'10 is a nice height for a man. Now 5'3.... 🙄
Body shaming
Mmmm Absolutely💯
Plastic surgery is awesome BUT rmeeber its small percentage of woman who do it out of all the woman and girls in ur range.m maybe areas like los angeles and Miami maybe xx amount of 10 girls there have surgery but then go to Kansas or a random country city they arent doing surgery there.. so rmemeber that theres only top 5 cities really and top 3 cities people really go to for surgery due to the doctors in that area abd city a certain look is beautiful
Too expensive
Listening.
I eat Oreos and go to Dr. Gym 😭🤣
I don't know what too do
AMEN🙏
Let it end there
Straight Shooting TODAY...
Tell it like it is Tony.
This is the TRUTH.
Tell it!....
I could I find out my boyfriend preference??
G-Y-M not J-I-M 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
With that song out, he had to be specific. Lol
Love from🇿🇦🇿🇦
💝💝💞👌
It's not that most men are looking for perfection. It's the fact men want women who are in shape, fit, & beautiful. Not this body positivity crap they keep shoving on us. Obesity isn't attractive to most men. C'mon Tony Gaskins, even the bible teaches us to be in good health.
TELL IT!!!!
🤷🏾♀️I don't have nothing right(whole body,hair,skin tone,financial,etc...). Sorry sir🤭😂
🐷I'm out of shape EVERYWHERE, I'm fat🐖,my hair fell out,I eat too much,I got bumps and sores on my face etc.😂🤣
Say it 1500 on hair!
👏🏽
Stop making excuses. If you exercise regularly and eat healthy, you can control your weight. You can lose weight but not ugly.