Why do men push you away then beg you back?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 มิ.ย. 2021
- Thank you for watching! My videos focus on life, love, and business. I believe in living a balanced and full life. I answer questions from my viewers in the “Talks with Tony” series. Then on Fridays, I speak to the men in the “Man 2 Man” series. On Saturdays, I focus on business and entrepreneurial lessons in the “Small Business Saturdays” series. Then on Sundays, you can catch a motivational message in the “Sunday Sermon” series.
Resources:
For online courses in the areas of life, love, and business, and a group mastermind experience visit: tonygaskinsacademy.com
If you’d like to work with a Coach, Consultant, or Mentor, visit: mymentor.life
If you’re in a relationship and would like to find out your Relationship Credit Score, visit: relationshipcredit.com
To have your question answered anonymously on the “Talks with Tony” series, email me: inbox@tonygaskins.com
For bookings, collaborations, interviews, etc, email: booktony@tonygaskins.com
#tonygaskins #relationshipadvice #datingadvice #marraigeadvice #motivation #lifecoaching #mentorship
They think they can do BETTER..then realize they can't. Don't let a Man DUMP you twice!
Preach
Haaaaaay!
yesss
Right!
My answer is because he doesn’t want me. That why 😆
Learning to accept the harsh reality. Ladies go where you are celebrated. It feels good there. ✌🏾
Yaaaazzz 🎉🥳🤩🥰😘💃🏾
Very good🎉☝🏾
Lmboooo
Sisssss. This the one.
Yes ma'am...
A man will only do what you allow. I use to get irritated with people trying and testing me. Cause I hated confronting people, it made me feel like I was wrong. But now I know people will try you to test you. So kick that fear of feeling guilty for standing up for yourself, confront them! call them out on their bullshit and Do it as soon as possible don’t let it fester and bottle up within you.
I'm so working on this cuz you're absolutely right, people will always test.
Thanks a lot for this Sis, I needed to see it ❤️.
Preach! I felt the same way you felt. Yes! I adhere to that! 💕💕
It's tiring dealing with broken children ALL the time! Most of us just want to live as adults without the drama.
Per-iodtt
A woman will put up with so much while most men will bounce. Their standards seem to be a lot higher than many women...
Facts
💯💯💯
I don't think it's them having higher standards.. I think most women have lower standards so what you won't out up with the next lady will, three times over. Why change if they don't have too? Uncle T had to change if he wanted to be with Auntie Sherri. He chose to change for the woman he wanted.
I notice that too
True, then they say" these bitches ain't loyal" they want you to ride and die 10x over.
Self-respect is the most valuable possession we have. Never leave home without it.🤗🙏🏽🌹♥
Periodt
Amen
Amen
Great points. I also I find in a lot of men I mentor, they learn more from losing than they do from gaining. When a man loses a good thing, it will haunt him until he faces it head on. They will then come back to you to either try to fix things or speak his mind. I always tell men, you need to be precise in what you want and if you have a good thing, do not self sabotage your blessing. I appreciate the game OG
Self sabotage
I love your channel as well❤
@@sayless1445 thank you! 👑
Men learn more from losing than they do from gaining… taking a mental note.
Because you’re a joke to them. Currently going through this, mixed signals & confusion.
Stepping away for my sanity.
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
If I told you... I was waiting on a phone call for 3 days. Cause he said he'd call me "soon". I blocked his number yesterday, and today, he texted hey. I erased that thang so fast and started to crack up. I'll be dammed.. I def played my hand too fast bc I sexed him and thought that would turn up s into something special. Oh silly of me. I'm definitely learning to hold myself accountable for my standards. We deserve the best bc God says so. I need to repeat this mantra
Same here, moved too fast as well. Don’t beat yourself about it. Just learn and grow so that you can be better for the next one 👍
Yup
He ghosted me.. then act like it’s my fault.. when I pull my energy back…. Here comes his toxic and confused and none communicating ass.. I’m gone..
The key is when he pushes boundaries the first time, you have to check him. If he’s pushed you too far, you let too many times slide before that.
Amen! I've learned this. I would let it slide to avoid confrontation and conflict even though I was hurt and disrespected. I'm putting me first and will no longer allow dusty people to cross the line and hurt my feelings while I spare theirs 🙅
@Chinkkkzz everyone's boundaries are different with different levels as the list is endless ... whatever makes you pain or hurt or betrayed etc
@Chinkkkzz stuff that don't fit right with u
Ladies! We are not losing or missing anything by cutting off these grown boys. There is still great grown men out there and available. A lot of times we just need to get rid of the scarcity mindset that there aren’t any more or that we can’t find better.
Okay so I've been talking to this dude I met online. At first we were talking for 3 weeks straight, during that period he would text and call pretty much every day. He stopped talking to me for 2 weeks and then came back, and then we were talking on and off since then. I'm not gonna lie, he would be pretty inconsistent (like he would text for 3 days, then stop for 2 and then repeat the same pattern). I got tired of the inconsistency, but I had trouble blocking him because I liked him. So one day, I told him that we couldn't talk anymore in hopes that he would block me. Which is exactly what he did, he blocked me. Then he unblocked me 5 days later and told me he was in my city (he's from the city I live in but lives out of state currently). So we finally met in person that day and he seemed so excited to see me, he kept hugging me and saying how he didn't want me to leave and he was very protective of me. He tells me that he thinks I'm beautiful inside & out, he thinks I'm sweet & cool, he says he likes me etc. I just don't get it, if he has all these positive things to say about me then why won't he cuff me? I'm 22 and he's 22 as well btw. Also, I never had sex with him (I'm still a virgin) and never gave him money or a place to stay, so he can't be using me for convenience. I just don't get if he thinks I'm all of these great things, why doesn't he make me his girl?
@@melaniebrown1443 hey sis. Men do a lot of things that don’t make sense to us and many times, we won’t get answers to our questions about the silly things that they do. Learn to acknowledge the signs then learn to accept what is for you and what is not for you while keeping the faith that you’re not missing out on ANYTHING that’s meant for you. It sounds like he’s emotionally unavailable and more than likely entertaining other women or may even have a girlfriend. One thing for sure is he’s definitely not your husband. Take comfort in knowing that now so you can stop wasting anymore time and move on. When a man wants you, it won’t cause you to be this confused. Work on your self confidence more and evaluate your standards. You’ve already given him too much of your time and energy after he 1st showed you his inconsistencies.
That was my mentality. I had the scarcity mindset that there aren’t any more good men out there. This resulted in me accepting less than what I deserve.
The last guy I was getting a chance to know wanted me to drive to his house at 10-11 at night during a work week. I set the standards and told him that will put us in a uncompromising situation for one. I told him that I work during the wk and the timing is inappropriate and to meet up at a decent time that will accommodate us both. I told him that I’m looking for someone that I can be friends with, hang out and have a good time with and to see if it will lead into a relationship. He was like I can respect that and I haven’t heard from ole boy. Guilt tried to come back but I was like nah. If he was interested then he would’ve worked with me to figure out a decent time for us to meet. Back in the day I would’ve done it bc I had that scarcity mindset and was going above and beyond out of fear.
Internally, I’m working on me through fasting, getting rid of old mindsets, valuing me more, not feeling guilty for saying to myself that I deserve to be treated like a wife. God is transforming me to become a wife and to not have that scarcity mindset in which I was doing things out of his will for the sake of keeping a man.
@@tracey5215 good for you sis! Keep working on yourself! I took a break from dating to establish a more secure and loving relationship with myself. I immersed myself into listening to powerful podcasts, taking myself on dates, and trying new things. I started to prepare myself as a wife and wouldn’t you know, I wasn’t even looking to date again anytime soon but God sent me my husband and we’re engaged to be married this fall! 🙌🏽
Your time will come. Continue to stay true to you! ☺️
@@thegoddessempirelifecoachi6298 Amen!! What a great testimony. Congratulations!! I wish you the best on your soon to be marriage. I receive that in the name of Jesus that my time will soon come. It gets hard at times, but God has been helpful. Tony Gaskin and Anointed Fire ministry has also been helpful.
At the end of the day, everyone has an intuition that speaks to them. Most times you choose to ignore it. Nobody has to tell you why someone is doing the things they do. It’s up to the individuals to either use the door or a window and stop allowing people to use you as an option or doormat.
You just spoke the truth!
Amen
💯💯💯💯💯 exactly. Plan & simple. I’m gonna try to be strong & not go back bc he pushed me too far. At this point he sees I have no boundaries & can do as he pleases & I’ll forgive him
@@lulunicole1818 please do because it’ll only get worse. Know your worth.
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! JUNE2021
I wish I knew all this as early as high school.
life woulda been so different.
Better late than never.💕💕
That’s a real MAN !!! Cause most men out here don’t think like this.
Truth be told... you reminded me of my Father. He told me that years ago. He's been dead 10 years this year in July. To this day, I'm grateful that I listened and learned to let go early. My Father said "even if you have to break your own heart. Don't let no man break you into pieces. Let him go early! See if he's man enough to come and be a man to you. If not, give another man a try. But only 1 try." I truly believe that's why I'm not bitter or broken. Plus, the power of prayer! Not saying I haven't been tried and tested. I have! Lord knows! Thank you for this message!
Sounds like your dad was a wise man. Thank God The Father for giving us wise men as earthly fathers.
Excellent advice Dad!!! Shaunlee, I wish somebody had taught me that.
We set the standards as women. But when other women don't have any standards, most guys will just move on and deal with those girls (path of least resistance) while you're back on the market waiting for a guy like Tony who gets it. It's really not that easy doing what you know is best for you. Sounds nice tho.
I realize that also
No, it's not easy. But, this is where Faith and trust in God comes into play. 😊Hang in there💕 In the meantime, work on you and your belief system. Everything in divine timing. Trust the process.
But you still do it. If you are tied to a guy you aren't going anywhere with you won't meet any new people
This made me smile. I been heart broken but I love to be in love. Thank God I left my grown boy ex while I still have my youth. There are still good men out there. I will never give up on love or being in love. God is love. Real faithful good honest God ordained love is possible with God. ♥️ Thank u Tony
Yaaaazzx🎉🤩👏🥳🥰
Such a powerful statement. Thank God you still have your youth!!! 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽
Wow🙇🙎
@Coach GloriAnn I know the feeling.
It's because they like the chase but they don't play for keeps. It's all for sport.
Yeap
💣💣💣
💯
Yo Sheri Gaskins is living the life man..but guess what? She was with this man when he didn’t have two nickels to rub together lol.she supported him and helped him get it out the mud! Sis deserves it all! I ain’t mad at her lol Tony said they didn’t have any living room furniture and she still had a smile on her face everyday !
Exactly, we will all have our own stories 🙌🏾
AMEN! SO RIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! JUNE2021
Ok that’s why my relationships don’t last because I’m quick to cut a man off. No if’s, ands or buts. I usually don’t give them second chances.
And don’t!
"As long as he brings you up for air, right before he drowns you.." My goodness, Tony: powerful and, profound words. Arresting in its truth.
Yeah I been there with my ex hubby/children's father😐 I was always gasping for air and took everything in me not to take him back. Went to the next woman and did the same thing probably worse.🙆💁🙇🙏
@@detrixhogan6078 Well done for overcoming, finding your wings and flying!! I pray you find continued strength, joy and, peace in your healing journey 🙏💝🤗
@@detrixhogan6078 Ps: "Recovery" - Maya Angelou (a poem) 🌹
Key point: Set standards for yourself and you have to be willing to walk away.
This is also a “ he don’t want you “ question 🤣🤣
I ghosted my ex who was trying to string me along. I've never been an advocate for ghosting cause that hurts especially when you didn't do anything wrong. But he broke up with me and then wanted us to chat like we're friends. I thought he needed a friend so I agreed and unblocked him only for him to disrespect and act fresh with me. I didn't even block him this time. I just ignored him, he's been texting me for 3 days straight but I don't reply. There's nothing I hate more than bring disrespected. He really thought I'd always be there and that was his first mistake.
How did it go Sigcino Ndlela
A lot of times when I listen to these, I realize I’m the “man” in these scenarios 😬
Hahaha!
Thank you for holding yourself accountable as well. We all need to grow
Moral of the story is this 📓: Mrs.Gaskins dont play.😂
Point,Blank, Period!!!😁
I just broke up with a guy I really like he was too controlling it hurts and I miss him but I have to put my foot down! Glad I seen this I was getting weak and wanted to call no way!!!!!! Thanks Tony
Stay strong boo❤️ When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE them. It’s natural to think about him but don’t give in. Flood your mind with the insight in Tony’s videos and the moments will become easier to get through. Our logic sometimes works against our emotions. You know WHY your dropped him- your instincts and logic made it CLEAR. Trust yourself. This is an excellent way to exercise your maturity and emotional control- the fragility and impulse of our emotions can make us weak and drive us to make decisions that hurt us. Our feelings are fickle. As women, we have to deal with this our ENTIRE life but if YOU can decide that it’s ok to feel but not always ok to act on it... YOU WILL WIN❤️ BLESS YOU❤️❤️❤️😘
👏🏾👏🏾 your husband is circling the block
AMEN!!
Always keep your values and standards high, close to your heart and above your feelings for a person. This way, when they try you or do you wrong, you always choose yourself. Also, a person's apology should be as loud as their lack of respect. If they hurt your feelings or did you wrong, the actions and work they put in to mend the situation need to be equal or greater than the deed. Make sure of that before taking them back for a half-hearted apology when in fact they have no intention of learning and changing for the better.
Absolutely.
Men and women....when they aren't happy....will play games. They will test boundaries. Then, when you had enough.... They will always come crawling back. Because they're already comfortable. They will push it further each time.
UNLESS in the rare instance....you ARE dealing with someone who WANTS to grow. Who WANTS TO evolve. And they learn from their mistakes.
I honestly don't give anyone second chances.
I’d guess you are dealing with a narcissist if they are manipulating you like that. They enjoy the challenge fuel. A good guy won’t second guess if he wants you!
Some of these men wicked. Smh
evil
We set the standard !
Humans are something else i tell you especially insecure damage guys. Why need to try test women. Some women are too sweet and never were taught the stupid mind games most these losers play. Karma is real people and it doesn't always have to be direct. That's somebody daughters or sons you playing with. Karma is real
You had a busy day and you're taking the time to make a video.. That gets RESPECT!
Sheree's way of holding you accountable when u get wrong definitely motivated you to be a better husband and has helped your marriage to be a happy one. 💯
My gosh... I wish I knew this 11yrs ago!! I wasted so much time being a push over with my husband. In April he left to Costa Rica... I had no idea he had bought his ticket until he called me from the airport getting ready to board his flight. Now, he says he made a mistake and wants to know if he can come back home to me?
My answer:. No
🤣🤣🤣😂 lady called Salkis Re made a video about this.
Is he a Tico? My ex did the same
Class is in session, ladies!
We honoring you but we honor the queen QUEEN TOO! The fact that she’s behind the scenes when she could be at the forefront says everything bc she’s established an empire and she’ll living in her purpose. God bless Sharie Gaskins 🙏🏾🙌🏾 We appreciate Queen Sharie too ❤️
Self awareness,
A person over 20 don’t want to be told that they’re immature, however 99% of the time that’s the case. You attract your reflection & when they exhibit behaviors non committal the relationship becomes struggle love.
@Aubrielle yes & no, no one can enter your space w/o permission. Women & men have different form of communication, which translate mix messages. I appreciate your feedback ❤️
It's a game to them. The thrill of seeing if they can play with you and how long they can play with you. I don't deal with dudes at all when they start that flip flopping. I love being single and drama free. Narcissist. Push pull game. Screw em. Keep pushing on.
Wowwwwwwww.. these grown boyzzz doing damage to these women.. it’s a shame. Cause I was that woman. BUT GOD!!! I know better now
"I will go broke to live" that was one of the best parts of the video to me.
This was absolutely on time. Me and my bf are 3 mths in and we need a break. We moved in together and he can't seem to come home some nights he's always at his mommas house with his friends and I'm the last person he calls. I'm shutting it down either your in it or your not.
Run baby girl 🏃♀️
I let my ex move in with me after only being with him 2 months. Would NOT recommend. Please save yourself the headache & date the man/ get to know him a whole lot better before taking that huge step.
Don’t live with a man until he’s your husband
Truth hurts, but you already know what needs to be done. After all, most of our pain comes from self inflictions from visions of hope. Unfortunately, the guy you are dating will continue to play with your heart and soften you with his false sprinkling words. Unless you walk away
Put him out!!! Break up with him.
You are so right that’s why I don’t go back because even though a woman forgives and expect a man to do better he doesn’t or he goes behind your back so I do go back 🤷🏽♀️❤️🖤💚💗💗
I loved this video! So insightful. You’re saving so many women from common manipulation tactics. I never knew men really thought like this but I’m so much smarter now. Thank you so much for your honesty Tony!!
Tony, you have a lot of wisdom, especially a man doing what you let him do until the point of break-up before. My ex tried this on me. He thought I was a joke. He did that two or three times. The last time, that was it!!!
When he begged me back, I told him in a calm, quiet way what I wouldn't tolerate and what I needed from him. He tried me. I'm fed up. I will NEVER take him back. I have no desire to have him in my life. I'm stronger. I'm free. I have peace. I'm working on me and my purpose in life while drawing closer to God.
The moral of the video is that, IT TAKES TWO. You have to take control and let him go. Not for him to come back. But, to keep yourself up to the highest standards. Also, he has to be willing to see the difference and make a difference.
I know of a man who could help you restore back your relationship either your ex or soulmate
He was the one who helped me in restoring back my ex partner three days ago without delay
Whtsaap him"**
✚２３４８１４０7９９３２３
You don't miss your water till your well runs dry, you don't miss your baby till she says.....GOODBYE!😂
I wish I new all this 10 years ago well I no now thanks to you Tony 🙏god bless you
Me too! Wasted a lot of time. Well, at least we know now...
Break the vicious cycle of broken relationships! Thanks Rev. Tony!!! 👏🏽🙏🏽
You bring me so much joy , peace and guidance with these videos this year . When u said you booked ur trip I was like good for Tony it made me smile being happy for u . Saying that we really feel happy for ur happiness because we are so blessed with ur wisdom !
God bless you Bro Tony am not complaining how you bring the message am here ready to receive. May God continue to strengthen you.
Look Tony, you got one mo time to start a video in the bed before I unsubscribe!
😂😂 nah I’m just playing. I would and could NEVER. I still need you and your videos! We all do! Very grateful for them and I’ll still watch them even if you were just chillin at the beach. You don’t need to explain why you’re laying in the bed or where you are, especially when you’re taking the time out of your day to spread your knowledge and deal with the world. You deserve to be anywhere you desire. You have a purpose that allows you to work from anywhere. God bless you ❤️
Facts! Nip it in the bud the first time! 💯
I love how when you search for certain topics your videos are 1-4 to pop up with a solution to the problem I’m going through with these boys. Thank you for all the information your put out, because I know I can count on you to show me I really shouldn’t be taking less than I deserve in any aspect of my life
he slick just told her he want her to answer them emails and i loveeee the way he did that lol
He diiiiiddd 😂😭💀 slick like that 👌🏽
Get rest thanks, Big Brother Tony Gaskins ! GOD BLESS YOU.
Listening to the replay Tony ! Thank you for your service & wisdom the Queens are listening! God Bless you ! There’s a great lesson in every video for all ages 🙏🥰
God bless you Tony for having the heart to freely give the knowledge women need! Men don't realize the havoc they wreak in our lives & the trickle down effect it has when they mistreat us.!
Wow Tony, love hearing u talk about your love for your wife! I know my Father has my man looking for me and I definitely know what I will and won’t accept. Great talk again❤️🙏🏽
My day just keeps getting better!!!!
A video after a live🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
✨✨✨
tired or not you still pressed your way through to encourage and teach us ,so thankyou☺️
At this point men ain’t where it’s at
How many single women are here ?
@Bufftygirl 72 never loose hope there is still some good men
Left a 10 yr .. don’t have time for anymore bs
✋
I am happily single.
@@greyonyx08 no u re not
Confirmation, Confirmation!! Life Coach Gaskins, insight is always spot on with a bit of humor (lol) to bring it to full circle! Always speaking facts. Extraordinaire Life Coach! Be Blessed🙏🏼
The way you explain this wow..such eye opening.. It just really be that simple though. This comes to show that a man will always do what is required to keep the One and only women they truly want.
Thank you Tony that was exactly the facts that I wish I had 20 years ago.But better late than never.I appreciate your chats.
Yikes, are all men like this? I’ve been out the dating game for a while. This sounds like too much work! Idk why people just can’t be real and upfront. Why the testing phase? And which one is the real you? Either they want you or they don’t. Really feeling being single forever
Great message!! ❤️Also there’s women who love to cook naturally and handle business as well!! Beautiful ladies don’t settle… elevate you mental, spiritual, physical and financial status!! All of those collectively will open new doors!! ✨
This is such a great topic!!
I love seeing people like Tony just living his best life! I agree that life is too short to not live it
Thanks for Sharing, be blessed!
I really enjoy listening to you & gaining new knowledge!🤓👐🏾
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! JUNE2021
Lol.. selling some oranges cutting some grass. That's it do whatever you do to make your wife happy! That's what's up. I appreciate your videos and your realness!!💯💯
🙌🏾🙌🏾 yess the Maldives is on my bucket list!! thats amazing Tony!!!
Right on time🙏🏽
I shut my whole relationship down
A decent human being! That part right there!
Yh!
Very well put and very much appreciated 😊
Thank you for taking the time to give us this knowledge. We appreciate your time🤗 👊🏽
Be Blessed 😊
Tony the blessed Tribe got you! Work from the bed if needed. Thank you for the video & perspective.
Bingo! .......I totally agree!
I love this Tony, thanks❣You make me feel better ❤
You're on a roll Tony Gaskins!
Is it just me , or do Tony sound like Plies lol. Either way I love it!!! Speak the truth !!!
Beautiful Planet - Off the Grid Living is totally correct. A drama ladened relationship is just that, full of drama. Moving on is the best... move on with your life and find someone who is worthy of your time.
I love the way you respect and honor your wife 💯
Periodt.. life too short!! I’ll go broke too live!! AMEN 🙏🏾 mindset after corentene.. mannnnn
Thank you for this video Tony
Thank you for this!!
Thank you🙏🏽
Gratitude 🙏🏽 Tony.
U are speaking a truth broken people trying to navigate in family function
Tony always speaking facts this is very much true!!!!
Good way to end the night 🙌🏾
I had to pauses at Maldives. AND THATS PERIOD! Yassssss
Thank You Tony
Prayed to God about this one...I asked if I could keep him and God said...he don't want to be kept. God will always give you the harsh reality truth if you ask Him....and then He will replace with better.
God don't play no games and neither should a man of God.
The one who is for you from God will come prepared...don't settle for less than you deserve 💞
The gear is phenomenal! Can’t wait to purchase!!
Cuz his sidechick was wanting to hang out..and now they are on a break.
Thank for the growth group. Help.