7 REASONS Why She Pulls Away WHEN Things Are Going Good

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 104

  • @cget
    @cget 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +28

    I connected with a woman through family (our parents are close friends), and started talking to her and we went on a trip together. We had a blast and what seemed to be a really good connection. She even said to me that what she likes about me is that I make her feel safe and she likes how intentional I am. We talked about continuing to see each other and she was into it.
    Then after we got back from the trip, we had one phone conversation and then she just stopped talking to me. Stopped replying to my texts, wouldn't answer my calls, nothing. She was the last person I would expect to ghost because she usually was very expressive about how she felt even when I was with her. It's hard to get over because I really thought she was amazing. But I just fall back on the fact that I would never want to be with someone that would be okay with not communicating with me, especially to the point of hurting me.

    • @ShaneGuyton-mj1mv
      @ShaneGuyton-mj1mv 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      She has issues that she didn't share with you.

    • @Briiiii23
      @Briiiii23 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      How much of the trip did you pay for and how long had yall been dating prior to the trip?

    • @cget
      @cget 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @Briiiii23 Most of it, I guess. But she contributed a lot to it. And we didn't really "date" before then. We just talked and that trip was our first time alone together.

    • @Briiiii23
      @Briiiii23 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@cget Right. In the future, I’d save bigger events, outings and trips, for someone who youve gotten to know a bit better. Most women who are okay with the first time meeting being an out of town trip, are mostly in it for the money/ free stuff no matter how much they act/say otherwise. A woman who is genuinely about dating for you, and for a long term relationship wouldn’t even accept such an extravagant first time date because (1) that’s dangerous asf and (2) because it feels like a lot for someone you just met, and large gestures like that often come from men who expect something in return.
      So next time make the girl earn a vacation with you. Don’t just give it away to the first cute woman who gives you attention, because she very much could be a scammer. And a girl who really likes you, will have no problem waiting and in fact will likely prefer it.

    • @cget
      @cget 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      @Briiiii23 I already met her before, and I didn't "take" her on a trip. She accompanied me to it. She paid for her own flight and contributed to the rental and paid for some meals and activities. I just paid for most of the activities and meals, which I don't care much about cause I had it. So she wasn't in it for anything "free". I just wondered why the ghosting occurred. But just this past weekend I learned from my dad she was/is dealing with something that has nothing to do with me. I didn't bother to probe

  • @monvici
    @monvici 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Sometimes we pull back because things move too quickly.

  • @sheilaboykins9544
    @sheilaboykins9544 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    I don't play games I'm always honest no matter what. A lot of what you said hit home for me. Thank you Mr. Stephan for always sharing I really appreciate your honesty.

  • @ModernDatingMastery
    @ModernDatingMastery 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    *Rushing things can make her feel pressured, which often makes people pull back. Instead, keep a natural pace that lets her get comfortable. It shows you’re secure and understand that good things don’t need to be rushed!*

  • @user-ge6uo2ry2b
    @user-ge6uo2ry2b 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

    As a woman, #1 reason for me is nonstop texting, calling and never letting me have time to myself especially if i've communicated needing some time to do my own thing. It can be overwhelming and will push me away every single time.

    • @alias1527
      @alias1527 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      That’s for you; it can be the extreme opposite for others of course

    • @carolynthomas8807
      @carolynthomas8807 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Alhamdulilah

    • @derrickzo1788
      @derrickzo1788 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      See ya

    • @513ChrisHeltzer
      @513ChrisHeltzer 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'm learning even when it comes to a female friends to give them time an not to bring up alot about my life or desires in the beginning of the friendship

    • @mikyl-fo8rh
      @mikyl-fo8rh 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      No mention of you advising the man of your issue before you enter a relationship.

  • @TanyaOden
    @TanyaOden 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    I think some of the reasons women pull away when things are going good are as follows: 1. The "level of vulnerability" may not be the same and/or reciprocated. I think there's surface level vulnerability and then there is deep-diving vulnerability. Opening up your heart. I'm not saying that a dude should tell his entire life story to her within five minutes of dating but I do think that sharing some things help build trust over time and if he's not doing that but she is, she may think she's wasting her time. 2. She may pull away if she feels like she's not liked or accepted by his family and friends. 3. When words and actions don't align that can cause doubt and disconnect. 4. He may not know or consistently speak her Love Language (5 Love Languages: Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Physical Touch, Acts of Service and Quality Time-for those who may not know them) I think most women like every last one of 'em! I know I do ! but my top two are quality time and physical touch. 6. She may decide that she wants to explore other options. If this happens let her go. Never beg anyone to stay. In summary, key words: authenticity, attraction, communication and consistency!! Do your part and let the chips fall where they may. I hope this helps!!

  • @margaretc5679
    @margaretc5679 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Regardless of the cause, don't chase. Be open to listening and making adjustments if she communicates her needs, but don't chase, dont betray your boundaries, and don't play games. If she can't behave and communicate like an adult, there is nothing you can do to compensate.

  • @ZONDRAHARPER-i1q
    @ZONDRAHARPER-i1q 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    MY REASON FOR PULLING AWAY IS PREVIOUS HURT AND PAIN ...WHEN I WAS IN LOVE WITH MY GUY...HE PLAYED AROUND WITH MY FEELINGS AND ENTERTAINED OTHER FEMALES IN MY FACE...YOU TOOK MY KINDNESS FOR WEAKNESS AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO TOLERATE IT.... SORRY CHARLIE! NOT I! NOW THAT YOU'VE HAD YOUR PLAYTIME...YOU SEE THE OTHER FEMALES WANTED NOTHING PRODUCTIVE AND LONG TERM LIFE WISE...NOW YOU WANNA COME BACK THIS WAY....THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW! I'VE LEARNED TO STAY BY MYSELF...LOVE MYSELF AND GET STRONGER...WISER AND BETTER! FRIENDS IS AS FAR AS IT GOES! I WON'T ALLOW ANYONE TO HURT ME AGAIN!

  • @mariahcharnelle
    @mariahcharnelle 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    #1 is spot on. there are some women that do play games FOR SURE and lack the maturity to just be honest but there are also some women that have just really been thru a lot.
    me personally, ive been in a lot of ratchet ass situations and i didnt have the best childhood. navigating relationships with guys hasnt been the easiest and eventually hoping for a good guy felt like a distant fantasy.
    so as a result when a woman has been thru a lot and finally meets a nice guy, at least for me, its becomes hard to believe that he is as good as he seems. it’ll be easy to believe that he’ll be just like the rest and its easy for the woman to be wary of trusting her own judgment because what if she chooses wrong again?
    i met a nice guy a few months ago and i find myself genuinely liking him but also genuinely SCARED shitless. in denial about how much i like him bc if i admit it, it means im willing to risk being hurt again. its a battle of the logical mind, emotional heart, and visceral body. its a blessing in disguise and an eye opening experience pertaining to how much healing there still is that needs to be done.

    • @Luk-ne2wb
      @Luk-ne2wb 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Are you sure you are ready for love,?

    • @mariahcharnelle
      @mariahcharnelle 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@Luk-ne2wb honestly, im not too sure. sometimes things come around that we think we’re not ready for but unknowingly life finds ways to subtly prepare us along the way.
      as with any process/journey, there are some things we just HAVE to learn (and heal) along the way…..same with love. there may be some things that heal best in the presence of a nice guy.
      i know im not vulnerably OPEN just yet but ive always been open to new experiences and opportunities. its most important that i at least try so with that being said, im giving it an honest effort, taking it one day at a time, and learning as i go. 🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @ShaneGuyton-mj1mv
      @ShaneGuyton-mj1mv 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Sometimes you have to just be open and take the steps as they come. God will bless your steps of faith.

    • @mariahcharnelle
      @mariahcharnelle 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ShaneGuyton-mj1mv 1000% 💛

    • @hsamzsd
      @hsamzsd 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      when a good person enters your life after a lifetime of bullshit, its a direct message from god. People out here praying God delivers their person, and then run...

  • @marybastien503
    @marybastien503 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Good video
    You hit the nail on it's head God bless you.thank you for opening my eyes.

  • @Temarius_Walker
    @Temarius_Walker 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you for submitting this video! Super helpful.

  • @limestonecrafter9044
    @limestonecrafter9044 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    This is some solid advice.
    Non of that childish bs
    Thank you

  • @allansamson6379
    @allansamson6379 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Thanks bro, im in that situation right now and it feels horrible

  • @mauricestechtalk1531
    @mauricestechtalk1531 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Tread lightly, life is hard enough. This is ALOT and you have to wonder if she's worth it. Sometimes it can feel like you're coaching her through the relationship. Which is ok. But you have to realize that at a certain point. Some people aren't coachable. Even if you have the best of intentions and truly love this woman. She can pull you down and it affects you mentally, physically, and spiritually.

  • @Ifeoma999
    @Ifeoma999 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    True💯👑 Profound video ‼️I feel those things happen because they can be unevenly yoke to begin with. I think lack of affection plays a big part as well. He can do everything right in a relationship, but a man who doesn't touch his woman every day can make a woman feel UNSEEN. Some women love receiving long passionate kisses, cuddling, and hugs. I feel some men don't realize it by a simple touch alone can rekindle her excitement about him making her feel safe within to reciprocate the favor. This can strengthen their Loving Bond Spiritually. 👑⚖️👑💚

    • @Luk-ne2wb
      @Luk-ne2wb 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Some women don't understand that touching a man is a sign of love.... What now?

    • @Ifeoma999
      @Ifeoma999 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @Luk-ne2wb True, I feel it goes both ways even though this video was addressing why the woman will pull away. To me, it's easy to see whether a man or woman loves affection. It will be a part of their nature to automatically show it towards one another with no complaints. I think those who don't know how to show affection tend to push it away. I feel life in love should be embraced in all aspects of our lives. If it's not there to begin with, then we should be able to identify quickly that this woman or man isn't able to give what we need. I feel it will put us in a space of that yearning desire that may never come. I think it's best to find someone who loves to be in real love and who will injoy those wonderful touches that speak directly to our SOULS❣️🙏🏽🙂

  • @nickfittipaldi5741
    @nickfittipaldi5741 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    I feel like I'm dealing with 6 out of 7 of them.. and it's killing me

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Take it one day at a time 🙏

    • @derwoodhamburger
      @derwoodhamburger 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Walk away dude

    • @JesusIsLord464
      @JesusIsLord464 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@derwoodhamburger exactly
      don´t engage in these games
      that´s exactly what they want you to do
      turn around and go away

    • @derwoodhamburger
      @derwoodhamburger 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@JesusIsLord464 I don't care why she is pulling away. Fact is if she is pulling away, it's a childish game which I wont play. Pass her test and walk away and mean it. Beware of the jezebel spirit

    • @TrthBHld
      @TrthBHld 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Did you ask???

  • @BlacKingSolo
    @BlacKingSolo 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I appreciate your honesty. I’m going thru the same situation right now with a woman who was abused as a child and even sold by her mother at some point for drugs. I hate that she went thru that and she tells me she prayed for a God fearing Mann and meet me. Things started off good but with me holding back bc I’ve as a man have been hurt too in relationships. So when we talked about my lack of consistency I made the effort to do and show her better. Then all of a sudden she starts doing all this gf stuff which is cool I did the same as a man, but out of the blue she switched up. Note the whole time I told her I wasn’t having sex for a year and she stated she’d been celibate too. Sooo this is always how it starts since I’ve been celibate but then females end up getting mad when they see I’m serious about that and fall back or leave. So I’m thinking she’s on the same path this might work. This last month she’s been getting mad bc we’re not having sex and she wants to while knowing I can’t until October. Suddenly she switched up her pattern and puts things on me like it’s all or nothing, and I’m like WTF? I come to the conclusion to just stop trying with her and let her be but I don’t get why she switched up the program from wanting all my time to not wanting to do shit but argue. I thought we had an understanding and she respected me on my path, saying God answered her prayers to us even reading the Bible together and going to church together. Begging to meet my family and all like she really wanted this. Now it’s a hit or miss with our convos and interactions. I believe she couldn’t wait for sex so went to do whatever she wanted and can’t be honest which is why I’m pulling away, to barely holding on to hope of us. Can you tell me why you think she switched up the whole situation on me and what scared her off?

    • @BlacKingSolo
      @BlacKingSolo 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Btw I’m 40
      And she’s 42
      Any help?

  • @MeloExclusive
    @MeloExclusive 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Mannnn this is the truth fr. They always pull away mostly for 1 and 2 for me or a mix of both. Great information.

  • @allhailzamasu69
    @allhailzamasu69 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Before I continue watching. Want to say I think I need this. Because tho it been 6 months I'm still feeling the effect. I was into her she was into me. I though everything was good. We never fought. Then all sudden she got cold, distance and eventually dump me outta nowhere. I been reaching and begging her to talk to me because idk why. I still want to be with her but she not talking to me. I have no choice but to give up

    • @johnblaze6269
      @johnblaze6269 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Don’t waste your time on an avoidant woman, I’m speaking from experience

    • @TrthBHld
      @TrthBHld 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Many times people who don’t respond know that have a dumb reason and don’t want to say it out loud. Sorry man I hate when people do that

  • @JesusIsLord464
    @JesusIsLord464 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    don´t engage in these games
    that´s exactly what they want you to do
    turn around and go away

  • @ElUnicoPapiNegrito
    @ElUnicoPapiNegrito หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great insights Steph 💯

  • @ramonaphillipsteach3284
    @ramonaphillipsteach3284 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great video. I know you have seen it all. So grateful I don’t have these issues especially Ex problems. I have had therapy, I have healthy support systems, I know my triggers and fears. I am aware and have my tools and my God to help me coach myself or navigate negative emotions. I want to communicate my feelings with the right man that will listen and communicate and be empathetic.🙏🏽🙏🏽

  • @JackieS812
    @JackieS812 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Good information Bro. Stephan! Thank you!

  • @TheKuts101
    @TheKuts101 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I enjoy your content. Thank you

  • @Cindy_Love_2025
    @Cindy_Love_2025 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Excellent topics! I love it! ❤️💯
    Focus on yourself, the truth about the other person will come to light!

  • @juanlong7374
    @juanlong7374 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    A nuther excellent message. Thank you for the information.

  • @mannyfernandez1601
    @mannyfernandez1601 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The question I always ask that if they pull away and eventually come back is it something you should entertain or leave them in the past. With all the advice out there sometimes if they leave once they will leave again…and then it’s like you’re playing a game of since you left now you have to prove you’re gonna stay this time.

  • @Everton4109
    @Everton4109 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    After 8 months was told wasn’t attractive to her. Wasn’t her type she gave me a chance. That isn’t the part that hurts. I’m completely ok people having preferences… it’s the TIME wasted. I could have been courting someone that wanted me and was deserving. Rather than her holding back not communicating and basically using and taking advantage. Until she felt safe to tell me (via text).
    I feel IF she was honest and up front from the jump we could have been cool. “Ok no problem, thought I’d put myself out there. Appreciate your honestly. We good”. And we could have kept it on the surface and kept it moving.

    • @vibezplanet9015
      @vibezplanet9015 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Brudda u should have seen the red flags lol, you should be courting this woman for signs she's into you

  • @sermantherlionel4166
    @sermantherlionel4166 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you very much I am going through the same thing right now with my ex and my present guy and you are on point much appreciated

  • @joelweekes4267
    @joelweekes4267 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The ex one is the same as having a new car and still wanting the old one.The new car is working fine but you probably won't know how to fix it if something goes bad.The old car your already aware about alot of its parts and how to get it running.

  • @businessboom6143
    @businessboom6143 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This video is informative, interesting and very helpful.🎯💯

  • @JStig12
    @JStig12 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Preventing projection of what you cannot sustain is another good reason for having dating in your budget. (And to start a budget and use one if you don't already!)

  • @-taylor-9980
    @-taylor-9980 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Her guard came down and she felt great! This lack of cortisol created a breakup! Loterally scared the shit out of her and the walls came back up and I was hit with a restraining order because she feared violence... this you actually talk about in your book! Its just a false perception! 😭 I will always love her it's not her fault she has created this survival mechanism due to her not so great childhood. I mean yeah I noticed she was being a bit distant and I got too close and got burnt. I am a bit of a nice guy and didn't realise I had insecurities.

  • @simongatt9044
    @simongatt9044 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Aren't we just talking about fearful avoidant attachment styles and the phantom ex syndrome that goes with it? I used to be avoidant I healed myself with work keeping in healthy environment and seeing the power in secure people I’ll never look back now 👍

  • @nanisantana2155
    @nanisantana2155 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Love your channel sir

  • @jamesg1974a
    @jamesg1974a 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    A woman’s friends are often the worst enemy of a healthy relationship

  • @cristinavillarreal912
    @cristinavillarreal912 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I Am definitely in number 1
    and it sucks

    • @StephanSpeaksforMen
      @StephanSpeaksforMen  6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I pray you’re able to overcome that issue

  • @MyStaryStaryNight
    @MyStaryStaryNight 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I told him the issues and he doesn't do anything about it... how can I let a man lead if he doesn't know his role? Smh...

  • @joyannfernander4064
    @joyannfernander4064 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Blessings to you first of if he communicates then he will know what's going on with his better he don't need the devil to get up in his head cuz when you start giving room to the devil for doubt that's where all the problems begin in order for us to live a comfortable life which is not had at all in a relationship I realize relationship is not complicated people make it that way cuz once you have that communication there should be no room for doubt when a woman loves a man and a Man loves a woman trust loyalty love everything that comes with it but we have to put God first in everything we do that's the beauty of it all beauty starts within one's God put his peace within us it's only up from there we have to understand as people life could only be the way we make it we make relationship complicated then it will be that way whatever we put in the relationship that's what we will get out of it love is the most beautiful thing in the world so when God bless you with your better half take care of each other love is just something you cannot find in this world often and when you find it you know that God has blessed you with it embrace every moment of the goodness of God blessings

  • @Marie-vz2qp
    @Marie-vz2qp 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    These are some of the game people are playing.

    • @mikyl-fo8rh
      @mikyl-fo8rh 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ...damaged people play.

  • @513ChrisHeltzer
    @513ChrisHeltzer 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What about friendships Stephan when a woman pulls away is wat u saying applies as well

  • @MrFreeze29
    @MrFreeze29 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Women will spin you around like a tornado when they become emotinal. As a man you feel lost tryig to figure out what to do to navigate that storm and bring it under control. She'll be upset if you try to help fix whatever is bothering her and she'll be upset if you give ger space. I cant call it.

  • @uprightservices452
    @uprightservices452 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Wow! You look great!

  • @Ausharae
    @Ausharae 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’m #1, 6, 7..

  • @RacilleAshley-sf7yv
    @RacilleAshley-sf7yv 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    🙏

  • @RacilleAshley-sf7yv
    @RacilleAshley-sf7yv 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Hi, Some people say, that, a WOMAN'S EMOTIONS and feelings, are simular to the phases of the MOON 🌜. you. , MEN should always be prepared, BECAUSE you JUST never know... I AM Just being, REAL...

  • @IGuerrero-on8vx
    @IGuerrero-on8vx 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    U cannot not ever be attracted to PERFECTION!

  • @hsamzsd
    @hsamzsd 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    do them a favor and let them go. You can't drag someone through their healing journey. Maybe she'll wake up, recognize she sabotaged a good thing, and she can work to keep the next good man she meets.

  • @Luk-ne2wb
    @Luk-ne2wb 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    7:36 Some women like to be treated poorly and you cannot do anything about it. They have some masochistic complex that they need to heal themselves

  • @lct7749
    @lct7749 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I walked away because this man allows his adult children to disrespect him and he gets upset when I comment on it.

  • @charleesummertv6109
    @charleesummertv6109 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Tell the truth shame the devil. Shes playing games.

  • @mikyl-fo8rh
    @mikyl-fo8rh 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    She wants your attention, without the accountability of a relationship with you; with Chad and Brad yes, but not you.
    Stephan suggests asking her questions to learn why she's holding back or pulling away; yet, she hasn't been genuine, she won’t be truthful, don't waste your time.
    Stephan’s advice is wise and caring, but most of us don’t/didn’t have his insights into a damaged woman’s nature when we were/are trying to have a relationship.
    Her girlfriends are her/your relationship’s enemies!
    To COMPLETELY understand the nature of carnal, damaged women, read Genesis 3:16b.

  • @Jreed1980
    @Jreed1980 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Number 1 is my downfall with womens & the negative influences

    • @bjornviir3333
      @bjornviir3333 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      my downfall is girl dates you a few months hoping for more attraction and it never comes so its over.

  • @JB111-b4d
    @JB111-b4d 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    That’s cuz she’s cheating