Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/ & FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) HERE: whatrealmenwant.com/
I so appreciate your generosity. I was married 29 years and never figured this things out. What really amazes me is how i now realize that men just want to do things for us and to be appreciated! Why couldn’t I see this? Thank you for sharing your wisdom!
I learned so much! My husband died 4 years ago. I married much older because older men just love and appreciate so much more. He was the first man whom I truly felt loved by. If I died tomorrow, I'd die happy however, you made me realize I never learned how to be a good partner by communicating my needs and so much you covered here. That's great news! Flip side is I'm almost 62. That's the bad news. Why have I never stopped to listen to Dr. Gray? His books have been out since I was in my 20's. Thank you so much!! God bless you both. Thank you!
I have enjoyed this bc I have lived in my masculine side all my life. I've longed to live in my feminine. Always thought I was simply independent and stubborn. Learning the truth is I do not know what I want and need, nor do I know how to ask for it. There is hope I can change my life.
Patricia I am excited for your future potential! You are teachable, eager, and OPEN to seeing your own part! I feel sadness for some like my friend, who cannot yet even entertain the idea that her marriage could benefit from maki g changes in Her own behavior. Sad.
Stop that!!! You don’t need to change your life!!! You are who you are! Even if you were to change you will always go back to the person that you are. Don’t let this psycho babble bullshit make you feel or think you have to change!! YOU DONT! YOURE JUST AS YOU SHOULD BE!! 2022
I think this is the most useful so far of all the videos you have done together! Takeaways: be forgiving and don't make a big deal about when he lets you down, it's not generally intentional. Date don't wait. A man should be coming towards you wanting to make you feel safe and happy otherwise he's not your guy. You are responsible for who you choose for relationships, don't expect them to change. Make yourself happy so it's not all on him to do so.
I confirmed in myself today that I AM willing to do the work it takes to make a successful and happy relationship. I'm a retired nurse and something I used with patients was this: "I have to do all that?" or "That's all I have to do?". perspective is everything....................
🤯 Mind-blowing interview! There were 2 parts that were pivotal: 1. The inner dialogue surrounding grief was profoundly revealing, especially as to some of the strategies to overcome the negative mindset of lingering grief. 2. The explanation of how men see or perceive women as attempting to control simply because their partner is not happy 🤯
You never lose those you love. Love them like they are in the next room.. talk to her like she is there, spiritually she will hear you. People youve loved and lost still love you, the strongest emotion that connects our worlds..
Dr Gray I agree with you. I am 70plus in relationship w/ younger man. On line building a heart to heart relationship. I'm a straight shooter and he understands that and respects that. Over last 15 months and progressing strong. This is a long distance relationship. We both feel in a few months we will be making some definite decisions. We also feel we are on a path that God planned. Both are widows a number of years. I follow you faithfully. Thank you so much.
Thank you, John Gray. I learned so much, at 60 years old. I just dated a man for a few months before it ended. I learned in that experience how many mistakes I made, unknowingly. I continue to have relationship problems and believe, as you say, that it is related to something I am doing and not aware of. Having your trusted advises and workshops allows me to feel I have a guide to help me change in a positive direction. If you have a resource for me to work with a relationship coach virtually to learn how better to build relationships, I would so appreciate that resource, in combination with your videos, books and me getting out there and dating. I will continue to watch your videos, read your books and try to find some of those frogs to date....one has to be a prince. Help me change for more positive experiences, God.
Its not a woman's job to change or raise a man. None of this is Her job her responsibility or even for her to entertain. The second a man fucks up, red flags, drop him. He knows what he did.
I need to remember to stand up for myself when my feelings needed to be heard. My last marriage he chose to not hear me and just put me down all the time. I’ve been dating a guy who doesn’t want to share much in his emotions and feelings. He shows me that he loves me in so many ways. I tell him that he is right and appreciate him. Thank you Michele and John.
I tried most of these naturally with my last partner and still didn't cause any changes on him. Some men are just not up for feeling a deeper connection. So yeah, it's good trying to be the best for them and bringing the best in them but sometimes it's best to move on to the next man and start the wheel again.
Also, if you are alone and feel horny, do it to yourself in a loving way. Nothing wrong with that ffs. Not everyone is in a relationship nor wants one at the moment for different reasons
Hi Ana! Thanks for watching and for your comment too. Yes, you do have to be with a man who is also wanting and willing to put in some effort. These things do work well with the right man though. :-) Take care!
@@MichelleMarchantJohnson My husband is what someone would consider a good husband but some of these tips just don’t work. If I am bothered by something he has done and I preface it with “it’s no big deal” he questions and is slightly miffed that I brought it up if it’s “not a big deal” (he would consider it being nitpicky on my part because after all it’s “not a big deal”) 🥺
@@lynda2844 saying “it’s no big deal” seems like self invalidation...prior to saying something I care about or need. If I already invalidate it, in bringing it up... who’s going to take it seriously? I think there are kind ways to approach things, and we need to really chose what matters the most...(to us and the relationship)... but self invalidation is what led me to poor partner selection in the past. I’m not about to engage in that. Self advocacy doesn’t involve walking on, or diminishing, my needs. Not worth it.
I get insecure when I do most of the talking on dates because I’m worried that I’m talking too much and maybe boring him. I used to “interview “men. That was awkward too. But it always seems like if I don’t do either one of the options, they will barely talk. Thanks for giving me “permission” to talk more than him and that it helps bond. I can always tune in to my intuition, not mind, to monitor their interest in what I’m saying or if I need to be quiet and leave space for him to initiate.
I am laughing so hard about “tooling” guys hahahaha immediately after resuming our love making after years of being sleeping apart my husband was in the garage fixing up his old corvette 😀
I talk too much too but then I learn from John that it's ok.but he likes saying keep talking so I guess it is good 😊 thanks for the well thought information. now I am hooked
Wow!! I’m learning so much about myself in my dating adventures! It’s definitely difficult to be an independent financially stable woman. I find men are intimidated by me. I’ve discovered that these are the wrong men for me!!! The right men - the men that I should date - the men I can trust with my heart ❤️ are the men that aren’t intimidated by me. These are the men that are intrigued by me and want to get to know me! I’m 57 & Living my best life EVER!!! :) John - thank you so very much for your words of wisdom! :) I’m a Gem 💎 I’ve got this!! 💪🏼
Thank you sooooo much for your service here. I am mostly taking away how not to complain, not to nag, and not to control the man. I do this naturally all the time. Grew up with this. It really hurts my relationships . I know I’ll behave so much better after becoming very aware of my actions.
OMG, I didn't know that Bonnie had passed away, so sad! 😞 But I imagine she had a happy life and it looks like John has been dealing with his loss in a positive way so I wish him the best.
@@latinainwpb ooh spook nice more and more love u are really very sweet I m for ❤💗Pakistan 💗❤ I m also very loveing very romantic cleen open miend also trest true love real seriouse loveing relationship forever enjoy happy romantic life every where I m really S eriousely intrested with you do you friendship with me 👫👫💞💞😍😍🌷🌷 I m waiting ........
Ive been doing shadow work with a trained shaman therapist~ N now i am so grateful for listening to this channel for the past few weeks!! Thank you so much for this channel!!! My inner child thanks you too!!
John makes PERFECT sense! I remember when his Mars/Venus book first came out, and my eyes were opened for the first time when we were taught that men are problem solvers. What an eye opener! I love these videoes!
Some great advice and for the jaded women out there - it doesn't sound like coddling at all. It sounds more like treating others how you would like to be treated - eg loved, adored and listened to.
I wish I could find a man like you, John. I know you feel you will ever be able to replace the void left in your life when your wife died, but I hope you will find a companion who will bring you happiness and the joy that you deserve.
It’s not that you don’t trust your emotions. It’s don’t make major life decisions from a state of grief and pain. Don’t trust your thinking when you feel like sh. Those meanings you are making that that time. When you are depressed for ex. Are not the truth after you’ve slept on it. Or when you are feeling better the decisions you would make amen
Get to feeling better when you feel like sh. That is the most important thing to put your energy and attention on. Doing the things. Thinking the thoughts. And feeling the feeling states that will make you feel better now amen
This video is chock full of really really good advice! I wish all dating videos went over what Dr. Gray is saying here! Everyone would be much better for it.
Wow wow wow blown away....so much amazing information. Think I'll have to listen to this again fantastic 🙏. Did notice John said don't ask a man how he feels...other younger teachers say to do this! Thank you for setting us straight 👍😁.
Thank you Dr. John and Michelle You have helped me alot. I am also a widow of two years and about ready to launch out again...what a blessing of wisdom!
Practice while dating before getting into a serious relationship. I was/am struggling with being independent and dating which I thought related to being needy. I have been single for many years. I definitely need to learn about choosing available men and getting what I want thereby causing him to provide me with happiness as the dessert in my life! :)
This hands down is one of the best videos thus far that I have listened to that you both have made!! Wish I knew all of this in the middle of my marriage. Using these tips in my dating world at 52! Thank you 🙏🏼 ❤
I can’t see an abusive marriage as a lesson I needed in order to get where I am now. I could have learned those lessons in a less painful way, with age, and maturity in stead of soul suffering.
Because the audience I serve is single women, so I ask him to give advice for women. My audience on this channel is 97% women. John does have advice for men though. Here is one example: th-cam.com/video/MSL5K_BfVlY/w-d-xo.html Thanks for watching.
I've been married for 37 years my husband and I separated 15 years ago but we have hooked up on several occasions he doesn't want to divorce I don't want a divorce I still love him and I want to be with him we have grandchildren together while we were sitting and talking one day and he just broke down in tears and said that he still love me what does that mean he said he wanted me to come back to him I need some advice
Ive heard people realize the one they are meant to be with was the one that they knew from earlier on but they didnt get to sow their oats. The bond he had with you after all the conquest was the best and wants you back.
This is a wonderful sharing and advice. Thank you so much. However, from my experience, sometimes the first meeting/dating, everything might seems perfect, conversations seems to be going on perfectly but after that, sometimes things goes sideways. That makes things more complicated and confusing for woman to understand if a man is serious or if a man is trying them out. Not all women likes to waste more and more time. Some guys treating relationship like a goal. The more women they can have relationships with, the more experience they’ll gain and that is just to boost their ego.
Michelle, these videos are so wonderful I wish they were translated to Spanish, (and other Languages) so many people I know ( non English speaking) would be very much benefited...thank you for sharing.
It would be really great if men were doing the same kind of work to learn how to bring out the best in women. It's extremely noticeable that they hardly ever are. It's not really inspiring to be in a continually one-sided dynamic where women are always the ones spending all this time trying to learn how to make it work with men, while men just keep doing whatever they want.
Well men ARE using dating advice.....but from other sources ie red pill. John's advice is aimed at older women generally. For younger women, it's a whole new ballgame.
Thank you 😊 your amazing This is going to help me a whole lot Great information for everyone and I Will take your advice to date and don’t wait God bless you
What about self-centered men? My man seems to want me to stroke his ego, but also wants to do all the talking and is always asking me to help him. He doesn’t seem to be driven to help me or put effort into me. After 3 years, I’m exhausted and just want to walk from the relationship.
Thank you John! I learned to request a man to say, I heard you, when I speak to him. An apology from him over small things is not necessary. And don’t make direct eye contact with him as he can read the disapproval in my face.
How do you deal with a husband who is not respecting you anymore? I dont want to leave my marriage - I love my husband deeply but he is not respectful of me anymore - he does things that he would never do to anyone else. Patterns he has with his mother and others that he has bad relationships - he also does with me now even though we don’t have that relationship - for example he will just hang up a phone call without saying goodbye properly - with no care at all. It’s hurtful. What do we do? What’s the feminine response?
Adrienne Everheart is another good source on communication with a man... I think it’s fine to adjust attitude, tone, energy to present things in a way they have the best potential to be received to anyone... but I’ll never adjust my truth.
I was usually talkative with my bf... about my genuine feelings, my vulnerability. But then he said im too overthinking when i confront him about his platonic relationship that he hid from me. I was really torn apart. It kinda like he used my vulnerability against me. And now im unable to be open like i used to. Now he usually does the talking and i would just answer his questions. I love him but i think i need to recover from that. Is this normal? Am i harsh? Am i gonna loose him if he continues to talk instead of me?
we create our own pains according to a counselor. I think he was right b/c it's our interpretations of events/situations that make us feel, not the events/situations themselves.
Feelings have substance as well, I think men need to quit being flipped out by women's feelings. Most women who nag or complain is because they dont feel understood or listened to by men.Maybe men need to listen and say "I understand and I love you and everything will be ok" Sometimes women need a little reassurance and dont always want to converse in logical terms. Just sayin!!
Feelings are always valid. It’s what the person is feeling at the time. Maybe the feeling is based on erroneous thinking, false expectations, certain narratives...but, still in the moment, it helps to have someone validate, hold space, not make the feelings “wrong” or fix it. Men have just as many emotions, they just express them differently. Also, they feel very threatened by big emotion, almost like a saber tooth tiger is coming. Dr John Gottman has done amazing relationship work, and when men are hooked to monitors during high conflict..big physiological changes occurs, he calls this “flooding”. This is what’s sometimes going on under the surface during shut-down, for a man. They’re definitely experiencing things, but show it differently. Also, either gender, cannot access their prefrontal cortex during elevated emotions. They’re stuck in the limbic system. So neither is logical when emotional. I have noticed some men saying certain things are logical, when it’s obvious it’s emotionally rooted! Humans have such bias and self denial, that they sometimes will call anything that supports their opinions logic.😬 Feelings are reflective of emotions...emotions are the bodies signal that a need is unmet or a boundary violated. The more we voice our needs and advocate for our boundaries, the more empowered we will feel & less gripped by emotions. It can still happen, but knowing where they come from can help sometimes. Men can hear a need better when we say “I really need you to just listen for 10 minutes. I don’t need you to fix anything”, or “I need a hug” They are much happier to do that than listen to nagging or complaints. After all, nagging and complaints are merely needs wrapped in prickly packaging. When we are vulnerable enough to own the need and not present it harshly...it’s more we’ll received. No one wants a prickly package!
@@micheledobbs1724 Being that a mate cheating on a woman can cost her life with Aides or HIV that's deadly even though there are some medicine 💊💉 that works better for some to help 🆘 prolong life during 💀☠️💀 having this devastating disease, I don't 🤔🤔 think John would say to take cheating lightly & not nag as a recommendation!!!!! herpes, hepatitis, STDs & such all must be avoided while a mate is unfaithful & changing giving his mate illness that have no cure from & life changing shift & limited romantic choices when one is infected from their so called mate who is supposed to love 😘💘💕🥰 & respect his mates life & future not harm her for an affair!!!!! John is not trying to be flipped 🙃 or silly about marriage. He just says women & men receive & communicate differently than women. So know & understand this fact & apply the knowledge to help the women & man to get better results & better care when helping have understanding in a better way!!!!
My husband has a very stressful job. And he comes home from work with completely depleted testosterone, I can now make that distinction, and he goes into his man cave. And that’s ok with me but the next thing he does is eats dinner in silence and go to bed. Then he tries to initiate sex. I find it hard to open up. What do I do? How do I tell him how I feel without hurting his ego OR how to I raise his testosterone levels under these circumstances so that I can get what i need from him to give him what he needs from me.
Want to thank john gray for doing this video enjoyed watching it and it all makes sense with how to do manage the opposite sex in relationships and marriages keep it up with these videos look forward to watching them 👍
Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/
& FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) HERE: whatrealmenwant.com/
What about when u have a problem with him and he turn it on u
Thanks
+pq1
I so appreciate your generosity. I was married 29 years and never figured this things out. What really amazes me is how i now realize that men just want to do things for us and to be appreciated! Why couldn’t I see this? Thank you for sharing your wisdom!
I learned so much!
My husband died 4 years ago. I married much older because older men just love and appreciate so much more. He was the first man whom I truly felt loved by. If I died tomorrow, I'd die happy however, you made me realize I never learned how to be a good partner by communicating my needs and so much you covered here. That's great news!
Flip side is I'm almost 62. That's the bad news.
Why have I never stopped to listen to Dr. Gray? His books have been out since I was in my 20's.
Thank you so much!!
God bless you both. Thank you!
Not in your 20’s maybe 30’s…I read it in my 20’s and I’m 62😂
It's never too late ❤
Of all the people you interview i trust John the most 😊
John is wonderful. Thanks for watching and for your comments too!
Amen to that!
me too !
Additionally, I have finally learned about boundaries and I never had any, before. This is a happy and healing season for me.
❤❤🌷🌷
I have enjoyed this bc I have lived in my masculine side all my life. I've longed to live in my feminine. Always thought I was simply independent and stubborn. Learning the truth is I do not know what I want and need, nor do I know how to ask for it. There is hope I can change my life.
Thanks for sharing and for watching Patricia!
Q
Me too
Patricia I am excited for your future potential! You are teachable, eager, and OPEN to seeing your own part! I feel sadness for some like my friend, who cannot yet even entertain the idea that her marriage could benefit from maki g changes in Her own behavior. Sad.
Stop that!!! You don’t need to change your life!!! You are who you are! Even if you were to change you will always go back to the person that you are. Don’t let this psycho babble bullshit make you feel or think you have to change!! YOU DONT! YOURE JUST AS YOU SHOULD BE!!
2022
I think this is the most useful so far of all the videos you have done together! Takeaways: be forgiving and don't make a big deal about when he lets you down, it's not generally intentional. Date don't wait. A man should be coming towards you wanting to make you feel safe and happy otherwise he's not your guy. You are responsible for who you choose for relationships, don't expect them to change. Make yourself happy so it's not all on him to do so.
I confirmed in myself today that I AM willing to do the work it takes to make a successful and happy relationship. I'm a retired nurse and something I used with patients was this: "I have to do all that?" or "That's all I have to do?". perspective is everything....................
Beautiful! Thanks for watching and for your comments too Catherine!
🤯 Mind-blowing interview! There were 2 parts that were pivotal:
1. The inner dialogue surrounding grief was profoundly revealing, especially as to some of the strategies to overcome the negative mindset of lingering grief.
2. The explanation of how men see or perceive women as attempting to control simply because their partner is not happy 🤯
You never lose those you love. Love them like they are in the next room.. talk to her like she is there, spiritually she will hear you. People youve loved and lost still love you, the strongest emotion that connects our worlds..
♥️
Don't let the new person hear you doing that. They will run away.
💞
I
Love
Love
Love
Looooopoove I do so much really
I like u meet me
👧👧👧❤❤❤😍😍😍🌷🌷🌷🌷
Dr Gray I agree with you. I am 70plus in relationship w/ younger man. On line building a heart to heart relationship. I'm a straight shooter and he understands that and respects that. Over last 15 months and progressing strong. This is a long distance relationship. We both feel in a few months we will be making some definite decisions. We also feel we are on a path that God planned. Both are widows a number of years. I follow you faithfully. Thank you so much.
Thank you, John Gray. I learned so much, at 60 years old. I just dated a man for a few months before it ended. I learned in that experience how many mistakes I made, unknowingly. I continue to have relationship problems and believe, as you say, that it is related to something I am doing and not aware of. Having your trusted advises and workshops allows me to feel I have a guide to help me change in a positive direction. If you have a resource for me to work with a relationship coach virtually to learn how better to build relationships, I would so appreciate that resource, in combination with your videos, books and me getting out there and dating. I will continue to watch your videos, read your books and try to find some of those frogs to date....one has to be a prince. Help me change for more positive experiences, God.
Its not a woman's job to change or raise a man. None of this is Her job her responsibility or even for her to entertain. The second a man fucks up, red flags, drop him. He knows what he did.
You mean you did not train him.Red flags should not be ignored for sure.
It is indeed a journey of life
Look back at our lives with forgiveness😊 so powerful . thanks and it's easier to love . thanks John and Michelle 😘
I need to remember to stand up for myself when my feelings needed to be heard. My last marriage he chose to not hear me and just put me down all the time. I’ve been dating a guy who doesn’t want to share much in his emotions and feelings. He shows me that he loves me in so many ways. I tell him that he is right and appreciate him. Thank you Michele and John.
I tried most of these naturally with my last partner and still didn't cause any changes on him. Some men are just not up for feeling a deeper connection. So yeah, it's good trying to be the best for them and bringing the best in them but sometimes it's best to move on to the next man and start the wheel again.
Also, if you are alone and feel horny, do it to yourself in a loving way. Nothing wrong with that ffs. Not everyone is in a relationship nor wants one at the moment for different reasons
Hi Ana! Thanks for watching and for your comment too. Yes, you do have to be with a man who is also wanting and willing to put in some effort. These things do work well with the right man though. :-) Take care!
@@MichelleMarchantJohnson
My husband is what someone would consider a good husband but some of these tips just don’t work. If I am bothered by something he has done and I preface it with “it’s no big deal” he questions and is slightly miffed that I brought it up if it’s “not a big deal” (he would consider it being nitpicky on my part because after all it’s “not a big deal”) 🥺
@@lynda2844 let me guess, then why are we talking about it then?
@@lynda2844 saying “it’s no big deal” seems like self invalidation...prior to saying something I care about or need.
If I already invalidate it, in bringing it up... who’s going to take it seriously?
I think there are kind ways to approach things, and we need to really chose what matters the most...(to us and the relationship)... but self invalidation is what led me to poor partner selection in the past. I’m not about to engage in that. Self advocacy doesn’t involve walking on, or diminishing, my needs. Not worth it.
I get insecure when I do most of the talking on dates because I’m worried that I’m talking too much and maybe boring him. I used to “interview “men. That was awkward too. But it always seems like if I don’t do either one of the options, they will barely talk. Thanks for giving me “permission” to talk more than him and that it helps bond. I can always tune in to my intuition, not mind, to monitor their interest in what I’m saying or if I need to be quiet and leave space for him to initiate.
Thanks for watching Rhonda! So glad you found it helpful! Take care!
I am laughing so hard about “tooling” guys hahahaha
immediately after resuming our love making after years of being sleeping apart my husband was in the garage fixing up his old corvette 😀
I talk too much too but then I learn from John that it's ok.but he likes saying keep talking so I guess it is good 😊 thanks for the well thought information. now I am hooked
"Little Red Corvette, baby you're much too fast"😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
Wow!! I’m learning so much about myself in my dating adventures! It’s definitely difficult to be an independent financially stable woman. I find men are intimidated by me. I’ve discovered that these are the wrong men for me!!! The right men - the men that I should date - the men I can trust with my heart ❤️ are the men that aren’t intimidated by me. These are the men that are intrigued by me and want to get to know me! I’m 57 & Living my best life EVER!!!
:)
John - thank you so very much for your words of wisdom! :)
I’m a Gem 💎 I’ve got this!! 💪🏼
Thanks so much for watching! Good luck with the dating adventures too!
What if u have low self esteem & don't want them to know about u cause ur afraid of being rejected & abandoned by them l
A woman must talk a lot.those who are intrigued are the right men.thank you.appreciate more
I got it.thank you John for the wisdom
When you say 'intimidated', are you sure that you don't mean "irritated' ?
Thank you sooooo much for your service here. I am mostly taking away how not to complain, not to nag, and not to control the man. I do this naturally all the time. Grew up with this. It really hurts my relationships . I know I’ll behave so much better after becoming very aware of my actions.
❤🌷
Naturally
Also real
Hard big so hot sexy
I m intrested with u meet me come
👧👧❤❤😍😍🌷🌷🌷
OMG, I didn't know that Bonnie had passed away, so sad! 😞 But I imagine she had a happy life and it looks like John has been dealing with his loss in a positive way so I wish him the best.
Hi 🙋🙋🙋🙋
Or u marriad ??
👧👧❤❤😍😍🌷🌷🌷
@@ImranKhan-tj3dr No.
@@latinainwpb ooh really so nice same in here I m intrested where from cute sweet friend ?
@@ImranKhan-tj3dr I'm in the U.S.A., snd you?
@@latinainwpb ooh spook nice more and more love u are really very sweet I m for ❤💗Pakistan 💗❤ I m also very loveing very romantic cleen open miend also trest true love real seriouse loveing relationship forever enjoy happy romantic life every where I m really S eriousely intrested with you do you friendship with me 👫👫💞💞😍😍🌷🌷 I m waiting ........
I've read John's book and I'm very appreciative and thankful of his wisdom.
People can bring out the best in each other.
Ive been doing shadow work with a trained shaman therapist~ N now i am so grateful for listening to this channel for the past few weeks!! Thank you so much for this channel!!! My inner child thanks you too!!
John makes PERFECT sense! I remember when his Mars/Venus book first came out, and my eyes were opened for the first time when we were taught that men are problem solvers. What an eye opener! I love these videoes!
John Gray is so right on! He just convinced me to start dating again.......maybe. lol
I’m 37 & I love his advice! I use it & so thankful for the wisdom. ❤️
With all of life’s ups and downs, I’m grateful for my life because I’ve learned from my life.
John, I really appreciate that you have shared so much of your own experiences, that I find you so generous and a very loving person.
Date don’t wait! ♥️😊
Thanks for watching and for your comments too Denise!
Thank u John for yr awesome loving advice. No one understands women like John. Flawless advice.
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching!
So we need to talk is annoying 😜. unlike can we talk for few minutes.flawless advice
Oh Michelle Dr Gray is wonderful but so are you! You really handled this conversation with that genius beautifully in every sense.
John Gray, the world needs you and this work more than ever! Thank you for it.
Some great advice and for the jaded women out there - it doesn't sound like coddling at all. It sounds more like treating others how you would like to be treated - eg loved, adored and listened to.
Beautiful bio. I’m greatly impressed. And I’ve learned a whole lot from your utube videos. Keep helping others! I’m listening carefully.
I wish I could find a man like you, John. I know you feel you will ever be able to replace the void left in your life when your wife died, but I hope you will find a companion who will bring you happiness and the joy that you deserve.
I totally agree with you! No one can replace his wife but it would be nice for him to have someone
Hi
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Problem with all this knowledge is the re training someone else is the same as work. I hope he’s dating someone up to speed
It’s not that you don’t trust your emotions. It’s don’t make major life decisions from a state of grief and pain. Don’t trust your thinking when you feel like sh. Those meanings you are making that that time. When you are depressed for ex. Are not the truth after you’ve slept on it. Or when you are feeling better the decisions you would make amen
Get to feeling better when you feel like sh. That is the most important thing to put your energy and attention on. Doing the things. Thinking the thoughts. And feeling the feeling states that will make you feel better now amen
I love when John says "That's it!" He has the best laugh.
Thank you John for all the work you do. "Date, don't wait!" and trusting my own intuition again are "aha" for me.
This video is chock full of really really good advice! I wish all dating videos went over what Dr. Gray is saying here! Everyone would be much better for it.
Wow wow wow blown away....so much amazing information. Think I'll have to listen to this again fantastic 🙏. Did notice John said don't ask a man how he feels...other younger teachers say to do this! Thank you for setting us straight 👍😁.
Thanks for watching and for your comments Claire!
Maybe ask " How are you doing". The feeling thing is what men are afraid of.
@@eileenwatt8283
Or like he says: ask him what he thinks, no feelings and say yet it’s not a big deal. I’ve got to remember and practice all this! Lol
I like u I m alone ❤🌷💗
Or u marriad ??
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Single I m
Thank you Dr. John and Michelle You have helped me alot. I am also a widow of two years and about ready to launch out again...what a blessing of wisdom!
Thank you for the talk. I am in a relationship with a man 14 years younger. I am 76, not sure where it will go but enjoying him for now. 😊
Practice while dating before getting into a serious relationship. I was/am struggling with being independent and dating which I thought related to being needy. I have been single for many years.
I definitely need to learn about choosing available men and getting what I want thereby causing him to provide me with happiness as the dessert in my life! :)
Me forever to u
I m intrested
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John has offered so many insights to relationships during this interview!!! Such a rich conversation. Thank you for your work!🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🥰🥰🥰
I m single ❤🌷
I would love to se more of these videos. Really helpful. Real gold. Thank you
Love it!!!!! Thank you so much John💗Thank you Michelle 💗
Wow! I’m so grateful I found this video. Helped me a lot! Thank you so much!
Glad it helped!
This hands down is one of the best videos thus far that I have listened to that you both have made!!
Wish I knew all of this in the middle of my marriage.
Using these tips in my dating world at 52! Thank you 🙏🏼 ❤
I learned a lot. Thank you.
Put men in a problem solving mode, an they talk. 👏👏👏
Hi
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Not necessarily. Relationship therapist Esther Perel says that men will talk, but they need a safe space to do so.
Maybe we aren't crazy ❤😂 Thank you John.
WE ARE ALL HERE TO LOVE, SO TRUE! SO BEAUTIFUL ❤🙏🙋♀️💯
Thanks you so sharing John is so helpful and educational
Thank you Michelle for bringing such wonderful people to your show.
So insightful, spiritual information . Thank you Dr John Gray and Michelle.
I can’t see an abusive marriage as a lesson I needed in order to get where I am now. I could have learned those lessons in a less painful way, with age, and maturity in stead of soul suffering.
Why are these always directed at women? Who's training men to be a provider, protector, loyal, committed, and supportive partner?
Because the audience I serve is single women, so I ask him to give advice for women. My audience on this channel is 97% women. John does have advice for men though. Here is one example: th-cam.com/video/MSL5K_BfVlY/w-d-xo.html Thanks for watching.
Their mothers, fathers, wives and girlfriends
Women are more into relationships. Therefore, it's good for us to learn how to make them work.
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Wow! Amazing insights. I needed this info 8 months ago. Grateful I can put them into practice. Do, so helpful. Thank Dr. Gray.
I've been married for 37 years my husband and I separated 15 years ago but we have hooked up on several occasions he doesn't want to divorce I don't want a divorce I still love him and I want to be with him we have grandchildren together while we were sitting and talking one day and he just broke down in tears and said that he still love me what does that mean he said he wanted me to come back to him I need some advice
Ive heard people realize the one they are meant to be with was the one that they knew from earlier on but they didnt get to sow their oats. The bond he had with you after all the conquest was the best and wants you back.
Thank you for sharing this valuable knowledge.
This is a wonderful sharing and advice. Thank you so much. However, from my experience, sometimes the first meeting/dating, everything might seems perfect, conversations seems to be going on perfectly but after that, sometimes things goes sideways. That makes things more complicated and confusing for woman to understand if a man is serious or if a man is trying them out. Not all women likes to waste more and more time. Some guys treating relationship like a goal. The more women they can have relationships with, the more experience they’ll gain and that is just to boost their ego.
Michelle, these videos are so wonderful I wish they were translated to Spanish, (and other Languages) so many people I know ( non English speaking) would be very much benefited...thank you for sharing.
Women already talk more than men and that's why women fall in love faster. Whoever talks the most falls in love the fastest.
That can be true sometimes Kara. Thanks for watching.
Yep! I've noticed this to be true
Wisdom personified John!!
I had read your books, excellent information.
Thank you 😊
Yes he is very informative…IN JESUS NAME…Thank U For sharing…Peace & Love 🙏
I’m loving this channel - thanks 😊- Joanne 😊💐
Thanks so much dear Joanne! I'm glad you're watching!
Wonderful, Thank you so much Dr John Gray and Michael for such a helpful program, It is very challenging but I can see better with this lights.
Our pleasure! Thanks for watching! :-)
Learning a lot!! Thank you ☺️ ❤️❤️🙏🏼
Aways interesting informative fun & entertaining to listen to Johns wisdom ! Thank you 🙏 keep them coming ❤️
Thank u I realized I never choose I Accept and maybe now I will start choosing
What great advice how to communicate 🤠!This is so useful..Big Thx John
Glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching Christa!
It would be really great if men were doing the same kind of work to learn how to bring out the best in women. It's extremely noticeable that they hardly ever are. It's not really inspiring to be in a continually one-sided dynamic where women are always the ones spending all this time trying to learn how to make it work with men, while men just keep doing whatever they want.
So right in I agree..
That's not how it works if you listen carefully
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Well men ARE using dating advice.....but from other sources ie red pill. John's advice is aimed at older women generally. For younger women, it's a whole new ballgame.
Thank you 😊 your amazing
This is going to help me a whole lot
Great information for everyone and I Will take your advice to date and don’t wait
God bless you
I love John gray sooooooooo much 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 he is the smartest man!
Thank you John, I love all your tips/ information. Linda
What about self-centered men? My man seems to want me to stroke his ego, but also wants to do all the talking and is always asking me to help him. He doesn’t seem to be driven to help me or put effort into me. After 3 years, I’m exhausted and just want to walk from the relationship.
Hope you got out! 💜
Thank you John! I learned to request a man to say, I heard you, when I speak to him. An apology from him over small things is not necessary.
And don’t make direct eye contact with him as he can read the disapproval in my face.
What about if I am a real quiet woman and he’s a non-stop-talker? I’m not really a talker, it’s hard for me to do this.
Me too! I’m more introverted and quiet. 🤭Unfortunately I attract chatty,outgoing men😏Talking non stop is a lot of work of me too😯🙄
It's 3 am the day after Mother's day. My ex would talk and talk, I could never get a word in. I tuned out every time.
Just smile and shake your head like you're listening
Thank you,John and Michelle.
I learned a lot.
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching!
Wow! Thank you for this.. so informative. ❤
How do you deal with a husband who is not respecting you anymore? I dont want to leave my marriage - I love my husband deeply but he is not respectful of me anymore - he does things that he would never do to anyone else. Patterns he has with his mother and others that he has bad relationships - he also does with me now even though we don’t have that relationship - for example he will just hang up a phone call without saying goodbye properly - with no care at all. It’s hurtful. What do we do? What’s the feminine response?
Adrienne Everheart is another good source on communication with a man...
I think it’s fine to adjust attitude, tone, energy to present things in a way they have the best potential to be received to anyone... but I’ll never adjust my truth.
Just ask him is that how he want to be treated how does he feel if someone hangs up the phone like that on him?
Mirror him.
I was usually talkative with my bf... about my genuine feelings, my vulnerability. But then he said im too overthinking when i confront him about his platonic relationship that he hid from me. I was really torn apart. It kinda like he used my vulnerability against me. And now im unable to be open like i used to. Now he usually does the talking and i would just answer his questions. I love him but i think i need to recover from that. Is this normal? Am i harsh? Am i gonna loose him if he continues to talk instead of me?
May God be with you always.
This is so helpful!
Thanks for watching Jocelyn and for your comments too!
Thank u Dr.Gray & Michelle❤
They should call him Saint John Gray here's help so many people
Love this one!! Some great laughs.
Wow thanks for John am very appreciated
we create our own pains according to a counselor. I think he was right b/c it's our interpretations of events/situations that make us feel, not the events/situations themselves.
I think that can be true. Thanks for watching!
Want to know if a man is your Mr. Right? Get Your Good Guy GPS F.REE Training Here: goodguygps.com/
I appreciate your videos John Gray 🙏
Thank you for all these knowledge. We all need to know this.
Glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching!
Feelings have substance as well, I think men need to quit being flipped out by women's feelings. Most women who nag or complain is because they dont feel understood or listened to by men.Maybe men need to listen and say "I understand and I love you and everything will be ok" Sometimes women need a little reassurance and dont always want to converse in logical terms. Just sayin!!
Thank you for your comments and for watching Cathy. Yes, feelings are valid too.
Feelings are always valid. It’s what the person is feeling at the time.
Maybe the feeling is based on erroneous thinking, false expectations, certain narratives...but, still in the moment, it helps to have someone validate, hold space, not make the feelings “wrong” or fix it.
Men have just as many emotions, they just express them differently. Also, they feel very threatened by big emotion, almost like a saber tooth tiger is coming. Dr John Gottman has done amazing relationship work, and when men are hooked to monitors during high conflict..big physiological changes occurs, he calls this “flooding”. This is what’s sometimes going on under the surface during shut-down, for a man. They’re definitely experiencing things, but show it differently.
Also, either gender, cannot access their prefrontal cortex during elevated emotions. They’re stuck in the limbic system. So neither is logical when emotional.
I have noticed some men saying certain things are logical, when it’s obvious it’s emotionally rooted! Humans have such bias and self denial, that they sometimes will call anything that supports their opinions logic.😬
Feelings are reflective of emotions...emotions are the bodies signal that a need is unmet or a boundary violated. The more we voice our needs and advocate for our boundaries, the more empowered we will feel & less gripped by emotions. It can still happen, but knowing where they come from can help sometimes.
Men can hear a need better when we say “I really need you to just listen for 10 minutes. I don’t need you to fix anything”, or “I need a hug”
They are much happier to do that than listen to nagging or complaints.
After all, nagging and complaints are merely needs wrapped in prickly packaging. When we are vulnerable enough to own the need and not present it harshly...it’s more we’ll received. No one wants a prickly package!
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Thank you so much video awesome both amazing God love never end.
Thanks so much for watching and for your kind words too!
I would love to hear Johns perspective on cheating and infidelity!
Thanks so much for watching and for your comments too Fiona! That would be a good topic for John. :-)
Ou yes please!
By this I would say ...dont nag him about it.
Listen to Esther Perel
@@micheledobbs1724 Being that a mate cheating on a woman can cost her life with
Aides or HIV that's deadly even though there are some medicine 💊💉 that works better for some to help 🆘 prolong life during 💀☠️💀 having this devastating disease, I don't 🤔🤔 think John would say to take cheating lightly & not nag as a recommendation!!!!!
herpes, hepatitis, STDs & such all must be avoided while a mate is unfaithful & changing giving his mate illness that have no cure from & life changing shift & limited romantic choices when one is infected from their so called mate who is supposed to love 😘💘💕🥰 & respect his mates life & future not harm her for an affair!!!!!
John is not trying to be flipped 🙃 or silly about marriage. He just says women & men receive & communicate differently than women. So know & understand this fact & apply the knowledge to help the women & man to get better results & better care when helping have understanding in a better way!!!!
Thank you John
My husband has a very stressful job. And he comes home from work with completely depleted testosterone, I can now make that distinction, and he goes into his man cave. And that’s ok with me but the next thing he does is eats dinner in silence and go to bed. Then he tries to initiate sex. I find it hard to open up. What do I do? How do I tell him how I feel without hurting his ego OR how to I raise his testosterone levels under these circumstances so that I can get what i need from him to give him what he needs from me.
Life comeing one more out
Not a more and more so enjoy the life
I m for u
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john gray is a genius 👏 🙌
Want to thank john gray for doing this video enjoyed watching it and it all makes sense with how to do manage the opposite sex in relationships and marriages keep it up with these videos look forward to watching them 👍
That's so true what you are saying