John is right on. When I first met my guy I wasn't looking, and I was not attracted to him. However, he was attracted to me and pursued me relentlessly. Slowly he won me over by his kindness and thoughtfulness. You've heard the song, "You made me love you"? He did! We didn't have an intimate relationship for 6 months after we met. It was the best dating experience of my life.❤
Sounds similar to what my friend is experiencing now, I was wondering if you can share more about what's happening in this six months. This is her 4months now and she cannot figure out if her guy friend is really want her to be her girlfriend. He even mentioned to her of his ex girlfriend. That's a bit confusing.
I would not have sex until he married me. If you are worth it to him he will wait. After all, are you only a girlfriend or a wife? Are you a wife or a convenient and pleasant piece of meat??
I divorced a Neanderthal, with NO man on my radar waiting for me to move in with him. Then, I met an American guy in property managemebt/real estate sales training, who was returning across the Atlantic, to continue living on, and managing, the properties of wealthy royals. I refused to go. I refused to take advantage. I protected myself from isolation and from life on a compound where females were Second Class, at best. I was attracted neither to him nor to the limited freedom I would have as as a foreign woman. My logic, self protection. and decisions at that time are absolutely some of the best decisions I've made in my lifetime.
OMG, this is one of the best if not the BEST DATING advice videos out there. Thank You Mr Gray. I'm 35 yr old single women who's been feeling very anxious about passing the biological clock and ending up all alone and lonely.
Don't wait until you're in a man's apartment, bed or some other compromising position to tell him that you don't plan to have sex with him. Go on the date and take your azz home🤣
Michelle, you always have a beautiful complexion but your makeup and hair look especially gorgeous on this video. I’ve been in a relationship with my guy for 2 years. We are both divorced, after being in 25+ years marriages. Coincidentally, we both dated casually after our divorces and then decided it was better to each be alone for about 2 yrs. He was single, a few years older than me and average looking and not really my physical type (I’m big and tall and he is thinner and slightly shorter). I found him to be nice, intelligent and funny. Now 2 years later, I know he’s the love of my life!! I think he is so handsome now and we are deeply connected mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I’m 52 and never thought I could feel like this.
I disagree about having instant sexual and physical attraction shows its the wrong guy, Ive had both types of relationships and the ones I weren't attracted to instantly I never became attracted to, Awful as it sounds I couldn't stand looking at them after a while and without it our differences made it even harder to continue. Yet the ones I was sexually attracted to straight away llasted much longer including my man now. I was also looking to marry and so was he, neither of us were looking for just a bit of fun. We were looking for a spiritual connection and we found each other💖
Made the mistake of giving a guy I wasn’t attracted to the chance and tried to forced myself into liking him. He is an awesome guy but I never felt any kind of physical attraction towards him. What happened next was that I ended up taking advantage of him and ended up hating him…. Every thing John Gray said is really good but I think he’s a little wrong on that or maybe he’s didn’t explain it well.
Agreed! I wasn’t attracted to my ex sexually and was with his through trauma bond and he was abusove. I left him and was never happy. The guy I’m with now I was sexually attracted but took it slow sexually and made sure to gain emotional attraction first and I’m very happy
I think John's point is it's naturally for a woman to give more to a man if she feels strong sexual attraction at the beginning. When a woman likes a man more than he likes her, the relationship will not last long. But if a woman understand not to please a man despite the he turns her on instantly at the beginning, and having this man do things for her and pursue her to a point that he like her more than she like him, then it will still be a great relationship.
This guy has some ok advice, but he seems to think women only have sex to please men.. he is obviously missing the point that we are sexual creatures with libidos.
As a 27 year old woman who's never properly dated anyone/been in a relationship, I find these videos fascinating and so incredibly insightful, so thank you! I have a question about the attraction though - surely having SOME attraction towards a certain man is ok and encouraged? I would never be able to go on a date with a man I have no attraction for whatsoever
Try to have an open mind. True story: I was NOT "On The Hunt" after leaving a Neanderthal., There is No need to give ANYONE the impression you are interested in anything other than socializing or entertaining or otherwise exhibiting hospitality. I made the mistake of entertaining a young German man, here in the U.S. on a Work/Study Visa. His mother came to the U.S. to meet me. She was lovely. They were "Royalty".. I truly enjoyed entertaining her., Her son presumed I would accompany them to Germany and marry him. I didn't feel "that way" about him. And, I knew, absolutely NOBODY there, other than the mother and her son. He always addressed me as Princess. And, he was angry when I would not relocate to Germany and become his wife. 😢
Thats what I've done. Been dating and learning a lot for the past 2 yrs. It's changed my way of being with a man. And the response I get now from a man is positive. Thank you for validating what I have practiced. 🙏
This man is such an amazing guy, I trust him with his wisdom, guidance and advice more than anyone else. My mother always said she chose my dad because he made her feel safe ❤️ thank you Michelle and thank you John ❤️
Hi John, I am so grateful for all that you say, give and do. I have been listening to so many of your talks the last few months as a woman in early 40’s learning to date again! Thank you so so so much and I am learning so much
Thank you so much for the valuable information. We need it no matter how old we are. I grew up without any direction, and made so many mistakes. I thought that being near 50th I was supposed to have experience, omg. I am learning like a little girl. I still have no idea what to do, I need to listen over and over. One thing I know for sure, is to value myself like never before 🙏
I became single 2 1/2 years ago due to my husband passing away. Just now started dating due to being so heart broken from losing my husband. I would have never understood this until now with my new relationship. Thank you and this is very true. And believe me, I didn’t have sex right away, that was my number 1 rule to myself. It took awhile and awesome right now.
John, Please, repeat repeat...As a woman we need this.....This is therapy which we are needy for correction. Misconception of communication is much needed, so until we really understand keep repeating. Dating is scary and I want feel safe and relaxed.
This is like finding gold 💜 thank you for your content. It’s food for the soul and helpful on so many levels. I am in the crazy situation of sharing a jointly owned house with my ex for financial reasons. There didn’t seem to be any happy ever after in sight but I’ve switched off the giant ticking clock that was telling me time is running out and I’m going from anxious to excited and trusting that I will eventually be able to move on and I will be ok in time. Thank you.
Also Mr Gray please teach men how to increase estrogen in women , be sensitive, esp when we have periods, and teach the whole "north to south" process in a woman and teach them too how to mentally stimulate a woman n be there for her emotionally! Just like ur videos provide information to women about men's thought process , someone needs to teach men enough about how women think n feel and what they truly need. We need enough n more videos on that too.
I have a disconnect with something John said in this video - if a guy’s attracted to me, pursues me, does nice things, reaches out often, but I’m not so attracted to him that’s great, that’s the guy I want. The guy I’m attracted to and I pick, forget about him. What?? How can I be with a guy, even if he’s a nice guy and wants a relationship with me, if I’m not attracted to him???!
It will not work. I was married to a man for 28 years that I was not attracted to. I finally divorced him last. I wasted a LOT of years and I never fell “in love” with him.
I think what’s he’s getting at is that attraction can grow over time. He’s suggesting that we get to know and appreciate a man for what he can give to us, not just for his sexual energy. It’s up to us to use our best judgment in whether or not someone is a good long-term fit. Obviously if the sexual attraction hasn’t grown after a good length of time in dating someone, we should probably let them loose 😉
I’m not sure, but I think he meant intense sexual attraction. Some kind of attraction is probably fine, but not that we instantly want to have sex with him and do it. That kind of guy probably often get this reaction a lot from women and have several women that he is seeing. But I don’t know to what extent he means. I got to know my guy for a month or two on Facebook and wasn’t at all attracted to him, and when we met I felt immediate sexual attraction to him and we had sex after the first date, and in our case it worked out fine. We’ve been together for 1,5 years, still very interested in each other.
Wow!!! I learned sooo much from listening to John!!! Wow! So much I didn’t know before. I think a lot of the mistakes I made in my past relationships were due to not understanding how a man thinks/ operates. Now I am in a new relationship with a good man but I feel like I need to apply what I learned from this video to be able to stay happy with him. Thank you so much for this excellent content! Wish I had heard about all this sooner in life. Much appreciated! 🙏
Thank you for this ! I love that he delivers the message in a light and fun way but backed up with physiological and scientific explanation as well !!! 😊 xx
Michelle your right. hearing this over and over until it sank in. But what most sinks in is how do I feel. So much I over think. I’m going back to my old simple rules of everything, if it feels good do it, and if it doesn’t don’t.
Thank you so much, Michelle and Dr John. I really really appreciate for this video. It is so important, so valuable for women who are seeking a life-lasting love. 💖💖💖💖💖I am truly grateful for this!
This was so empowering and I’m so grateful for this wisdom! It is healing parts of me and encouraging me on this path of single life living going towards dating for the next year!
If you build your person up instead of tearing them down you'll find that they'll stay more masculine. You can't tear a person down like I've seen so many women do and expect them to stay masculine and confident.
Was married almost 30 years, widowed 6 years ago. I absolutely love people and fall in love too easily. But I’m super shy with beginning the whole sexual side. Very desirable men have shown interest. But for me to date just to have fun feels awful because it’s leading the guy on. They bond and I’m not ready to do that. I may never be ready. Sure don’t want to build a man up just to let him down. I won’t do it. And never again do I want to experience the grueling process of illness and the death of someone who’s become “home” to me. I don’t have any answers. I’m a hopeless case. Thank goodness I have so many interests. Back to over-working and busily self-isolating. Good luck everyone!
Omg poor guys at my golf club... I'll be a practicing... my skills on the low! ..I'm so glad I heard this content definitely in my masculine energy..to protect me .. I'm so inspired... writing it all done ..thank you for this series
Love to hear this. How do you plan of doing this? I work from home so I dont have much guys around to practice haha. I live in cold london, no clue where to start I'm 30 nearly now 🤣
Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/ & FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) HERE: whatrealmenwant.com/
A relationship online for a year with a guy with a music playing channel on you tube..has started to wain.My comments arent respected or appreciated anymore.It was awesome a 2 way street of appreciation. Now i dont feel worthy or needed.Ive no desire to comment anymore and hes stopped posting music videos.Im lost with it all but the spiritual connection is strong...i never want to lose this connection its like nothing ive ever experienced in all my life. Thankyou Mechelle and John i see things in a different light now.
I wish there were people like you two talking about these things 30/40 years ago I no I'm not alone in saying this I have made SO many mistakes and been alone more bc of not knowing what I was doing Rong . THANK YOU for your very empowering words ❤
This video is so amazing and has so much content that is valuable that I feel it’s a shame you titled for single. A lot of my married friends could do with the advice and could miss out on watching because of the title.
Hi there Fabia! Please feel free to send the link to share it with your married friends. It was recorded for a conference of single women though. Hence the title. Take care and thank you for watching too!
Excellent advice. Learned some things I didn't know. Amazing info. So many women need this information before dating. I am blown away. Thank you so much.
I am 54. Started dating again after 5yrs divorced. I feel like I have no idea what to do. The comment about the "rebound girl" is very intetesting. There is someone that has recently divorce after 20yrs marriage that is after me. I used the analogy of "it is the second mouse that gets the cheese". I told him I didn't want to be 1st mouse. 😉
People are ready to commit again at different rates...it varies widely. I believed what you believe but kept an open mind. I was already a practising clinical psychologist and professor not in any hurry to commit a year after being widowed. He was ready but we dated saying we would date other people.....after a year of only dating each other we were each sure each other was the one.
I thought somewhat similar a couple of years ago, now I am with a wonderful man that loves me and I love him. I really worked on my emotions and started eating what my body needs, started exercising and taking care of myself like I was a trophy. I got a lot more picky with men. I was at the bottom to start with, now I am much better off. There is hope! ❤️
OK so let me just say this. I love John Gray but the fact of the matter is although he's amazing he's not always right. I am with a person right now and I adore him we are so emotionally compatible and from day one I have been so turned on by him physically. He's such a beautiful man he's 6 foot four and he's just tall dark and handsome with a super man chin, beautiful full lips, rippling muscles...he's just a gorgeous specimen of a man. I love just looking at him. And the first time I saw him I was like wow this man is hot. I was immediately sexually attracted. Eight years later I feel the same way. I catch my breath when he walks into a room. But we also have this great emotional connection and Being with him always just feels like Heaven... it just has always felt perfect and right and beautiful and we don't even have to speak to have a good time together. It doesn't matter what we're doing because the primary purpose is being together, everything else is just icing. So its Perfectly OK to be sexually attracted to a man when you first meet, if anything I think that's incredibly important as long as you have an emotional connection as well.
I agree. It something related to an instant chemistry or charisma. If a man does not interest me/intrigues me right from the beginning, then I will not lose my time on dates.
Yeah that part about taking the one who physically does absolutely nothing for you, is the part I'll be freely skipping, because my experiences prove me otherwise. Guys don't want the "ugly woman" either...so🤷♀️ Also, I'd never want to be the woman who's Looks are just "tolerated" because he might believe that I'm the "safer choice" and that mind set can come from ugly guys.
Was so attracted to my real first love and it lasted for 35 years until his passing and we were still in love physically and in the heart so i really think your wrong ! Maybe you dont want to hear that but its the truth . I have to say our love grew after many years but we were each others go to and even after years and years we were still touchy idk every relationship is diff but i will say men do love to be appreciated ! And they also liked to be ask for things like anything . Exa hey i could really use your help to pick this up your soo much stronger than me !
Thank you for having Dr. John Gray on your show. I am new to your show and was not aware that you are coach. Do you find it overwhelming to work with clients who are unrealistic with their expectations from the opposite sex and find themselves to be intitled? Thank you. Mehran from San Diego.
Thank you so much for this video it is full of precious advices to learn how to manage things better and communicate better it is really a skill to learn that could benefit to so many women and men, we should work on it to become more fulfilled beings. I took some notes but will listen to it again to take even more from it and become used to this new logic. Thanks a lot to both of you :)
Single at 44 and never had a boyfriend categorically...and still saving myself for only 1 man...and so tried dating apps but still men are just after one thing...one time one turned me down cause he said its no point not having close intimacy...
@@RosemaryBabyZVllX agree, meet in person, catch their vibe, online dating consumes so much time and energy go out as much as you can and meet people without draining yourself, do things that make you happy where you can socialize with men, like dancing, theatre workshops, etc
The biology is practically saying we do not match at all, women and males, unless there is a huge amount of effort and willingness involved, from both sides. And this will be happening more rare and rare. Other than this, very useful teachings!
My man today said don’t listen all that stuff , we need to be in balance together, we know our self how to have a relationship, tekst me when you want me to call , ; call me please ; say what you want
yeah I dont wanna be the rebound, it's only going to waste my time and energy... being distracted with the wrong guy will push me further away from being available to my right man
I think it’s confusing when he says go for men you’re not attracted to. I don’t think it means you don’t see them as attractive. I hope because It’s impossible for me to even spend 10 minutes with a man I don’t find attractive. I’m pursued by attractive men and I’m not desperate to please them. I’m comfortable receiving from them. I think once in I’ve started giving too much and that’s my problem. But it’s possible to allow men you’re attracted to to pursue you. Maybe that’s a certain energetic trick though. I know what the feeling is when my energy goes toward a man. I’ve learned how to direct that energy.
So as irony would have it a man I’m super physically attracted reached out to me and it’s so clear what John is talking about... lol I can manage it but I realize based on very little I’m ready to jump in bed and marry this man lol this is probably what he’s saying to run away from.
@@otegaben1 well before I was aware of this dynamic I was in a relationship where I had attracted a high value man averse to commitment in previous relationships. We were together in love but the energy switched a little were we lived together but the imbalance did cause him to look for places to get space. I eventually left though not him. But had I not allowed my energy to go toward him I think our dynamic would have stayed healthier with him feeling more appreciated and less restricted. I think our dynamic was better than most because my energy naturally is about me. I have my own projects and focuses. We also lived on a 400 acre homestead so despite living in a small cabin we had a lot of space.
@@TheMoonDejesus I just had the same thing happen to me. He went hard in the first 2.5 months and doing everything until 4 months in, he's telling me that he doesn't like that he's not doing enough for me like he did for his past relationships, like adding them to his phone bills, blowing up their phones e.t.c he said he needs some time to figure out why her can't naturally do those things for me. I interpreted that as his lost interest or connection with me. As I stood up to leave, he's says I shouldn't give up to easily. I am very confused.
One thing though, we haven't had sex. Just kisses and cuddling, and this is the first time he's had an experience like this. But he claims it's not about sex and that her can't really pinpoint why?
39 yr old single mom here- my 10th grade chemistry teacher told my father I was a taker and since then I really have tried to always give more than I got. I focus on my daughter and there isn’t a lot of time to date but I feel relief at the thought of not having to do so much and getting to pick what to do and all I have to do is be grateful and happy? Yes please! I’m not sure how to get the dates tho.
John is right on. When I first met my guy I wasn't looking, and I was not attracted to him. However, he was attracted to me and pursued me relentlessly. Slowly he won me over by his kindness and thoughtfulness. You've heard the song, "You made me love you"? He did! We didn't have an intimate relationship for 6 months after we met. It was the best dating experience of my life.❤
The way it’s meant to be done. This story gives me hope that the traditional dating dynamic is not dead. Congratulations to you both!
Did you make more money than him?
Sounds similar to what my friend is experiencing now, I was wondering if you can share more about what's happening in this six months. This is her 4months now and she cannot figure out if her guy friend is really want her to be her girlfriend. He even mentioned to her of his ex girlfriend. That's a bit confusing.
I would not have sex until he married me. If you are worth it to him he will wait. After all, are you only a girlfriend or a wife? Are you a wife or a convenient and pleasant piece of meat??
I divorced a Neanderthal, with NO man on my radar waiting for me to move in with him.
Then, I met an American guy in property managemebt/real estate sales training, who was returning across the Atlantic, to continue living on, and managing, the properties of wealthy royals.
I refused to go.
I refused to take advantage.
I protected myself from isolation and from life on a compound where females were Second Class, at best.
I was attracted neither to him nor to the limited freedom I would have as as a foreign woman.
My logic, self protection. and decisions at that time are absolutely some of the best decisions I've made in my lifetime.
That man is amazing I can listen to him all day Wish i could remember everything he says
Agreed
I've had to Make notes
Make 📝 notes
He is just out today making money!
That's all it is...
keeping a roof over his head and this is how he does it...
Download it or tape record it
Security, safety..for a woman is the greatest gift of all. Such a beautiful example of love at the end there. Thank you 💗
OMG, this is one of the best if not the BEST DATING advice videos out there. Thank You Mr Gray. I'm 35 yr old single women who's been feeling very anxious about passing the biological clock and ending up all alone and lonely.
Thank you so much for watching and for your kind words too! I'm glad you found it helpful!
I wish you you find the right man soon
@@gamergod3026 thank you so much for your kind words
Trust that he is out there! ✨
I was 32.
Just finally decided ok I will come to terms w living alone. Weeks after that I met hubby. He 10 years younger, did race, did first language
Don't wait until you're in a man's apartment, bed or some other compromising position to tell him that you don't plan to have sex with him. Go on the date and take your azz home🤣
Michelle, you always have a beautiful complexion but your makeup and hair look especially gorgeous on this video.
I’ve been in a relationship with my guy for 2 years. We are both divorced, after being in 25+ years marriages. Coincidentally, we both dated casually after our divorces and then decided it was better to each be alone for about 2 yrs. He was single, a few years older than me and average looking and not really my physical type (I’m big and tall and he is thinner and slightly shorter). I found him to be nice, intelligent and funny. Now 2 years later, I know he’s the love of my life!! I think he is so handsome now and we are deeply connected mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I’m 52 and never thought I could feel like this.
Shoulder length hair & face-framing layers would bring out her gorgeous eyes and smile.
I am glad for you bless you both.
Make it work.
Thank you so much Becca for your kind words. Wishing you the very best!
@@MichelleMarchantJohnson you’re very welcome!! Happy New Year 🎆🎊🎈and may it be a year filled with blessings 🙏🙏
@@beccaharrah2534 The same to you! May the year ahead be filled with blessings! Take care now!
I disagree about having instant sexual and physical attraction shows its the wrong guy, Ive had both types of relationships and the ones I weren't attracted to instantly I never became attracted to, Awful as it sounds I couldn't stand looking at them after a while and without it our differences made it even harder to continue. Yet the ones I was sexually attracted to straight away llasted much longer including my man now. I was also looking to marry and so was he, neither of us were looking for just a bit of fun. We were looking for a spiritual connection and we found each other💖
Made the mistake of giving a guy I wasn’t attracted to the chance and tried to forced myself into liking him. He is an awesome guy but I never felt any kind of physical attraction towards him. What happened next was that I ended up taking advantage of him and ended up hating him…. Every thing John Gray said is really good but I think he’s a little wrong on that or maybe he’s didn’t explain it well.
Agreed! I wasn’t attracted to my ex sexually and was with his through trauma bond and he was abusove. I left him and was never happy. The guy I’m with now I was sexually attracted but took it slow sexually and made sure to gain emotional attraction first and I’m very happy
I agree with this comment
I think John's point is it's naturally for a woman to give more to a man if she feels strong sexual attraction at the beginning. When a woman likes a man more than he likes her, the relationship will not last long. But if a woman understand not to please a man despite the he turns her on instantly at the beginning, and having this man do things for her and pursue her to a point that he like her more than she like him, then it will still be a great relationship.
This guy has some ok advice, but he seems to think women only have sex to please men.. he is obviously missing the point that we are sexual creatures with libidos.
This man is the holy grail of relationships 🙌🏻
True That.
Bless you so much.
Yes Fetin, he is! Thanks for watching and for leaving a comment too!
As a 27 year old woman who's never properly dated anyone/been in a relationship, I find these videos fascinating and so incredibly insightful, so thank you! I have a question about the attraction though - surely having SOME attraction towards a certain man is ok and encouraged? I would never be able to go on a date with a man I have no attraction for whatsoever
Try to have an open mind.
True story:
I was NOT "On The Hunt" after leaving a Neanderthal.,
There is No need to give ANYONE the impression you are interested in anything other than socializing or entertaining or otherwise exhibiting hospitality.
I made the mistake of entertaining a young German man, here in the U.S. on a Work/Study Visa.
His mother came to the U.S. to meet me. She was lovely.
They were "Royalty"..
I truly enjoyed entertaining her., Her son presumed I would accompany them to Germany and marry him.
I didn't feel "that way" about him.
And, I knew, absolutely NOBODY there, other than the mother and her son.
He always addressed me as Princess. And, he was angry when I would not relocate to Germany and become his wife.
😢
Thats what I've done. Been dating and learning a lot for the past 2 yrs. It's changed my way of being with a man. And the response I get now from a man is positive. Thank you for validating what I have practiced. 🙏
John Gray should get a reward for saving love in this word. Great insights and revelations. Thank you John and Michelle! ❤
This man is such an amazing guy, I trust him with his wisdom, guidance and advice more than anyone else. My mother always said she chose my dad because he made her feel safe ❤️ thank you Michelle and thank you John ❤️
Agreed
Hi John, I am so grateful for all that you say, give and do. I have been listening to so many of your talks the last few months as a woman in early 40’s learning to date again! Thank you so so so much and I am learning so much
Thank you so much for the valuable information. We need it no matter how old we are. I grew up without any direction, and made so many mistakes. I thought that being near 50th I was supposed to have experience, omg. I am learning like a little girl. I still have no idea what to do, I need to listen over and over. One thing I know for sure, is to value myself like never before 🙏
I became single 2 1/2 years ago due to my husband passing away. Just now started dating due to being so heart broken from losing my husband. I would have never understood this until now with my new relationship. Thank you and this is very true. And believe me, I didn’t have sex right away, that was my number 1 rule to myself. It took awhile and awesome right now.
You have an amazing smile Jamie
I'm busy taking notes.
John, Please, repeat repeat...As a woman we need this.....This is therapy which we are needy for correction. Misconception of communication is much needed, so until we really understand keep repeating. Dating is scary and I want feel safe and relaxed.
This is like finding gold 💜 thank you for your content. It’s food for the soul and helpful on so many levels. I am in the crazy situation of sharing a jointly owned house with my ex for financial reasons. There didn’t seem to be any happy ever after in sight but I’ve switched off the giant ticking clock that was telling me time is running out and I’m going from anxious to excited and trusting that I will eventually be able to move on and I will be ok in time. Thank you.
Yes and all the best to you ❤
Thanks for watching. I hope things go well for you.
Wishing you all the best.❤
It's far from gold..
It's absolute stupidity.
Let me know how it's working for you because the results will be zero..
Also Mr Gray please teach men how to increase estrogen in women , be sensitive, esp when we have periods, and teach the whole "north to south" process in a woman and teach them too how to mentally stimulate a woman n be there for her emotionally! Just like ur videos provide information to women about men's thought process , someone needs to teach men enough about how women think n feel and what they truly need. We need enough n more videos on that too.
You have totally opened my eyes!! So many mistakes -
Hoping there is time to implement your awesome insights to save my marriage.
Me too bless you so much.
Thanks for watching Zana. I'm so glad you found it helpful!
¹.
Lord, please save this ladies marriage.
All day Everyday, I can listen to this man
I have a disconnect with something John said in this video - if a guy’s attracted to me, pursues me, does nice things, reaches out often, but I’m not so attracted to him that’s great, that’s the guy I want. The guy I’m attracted to and I pick, forget about him. What?? How can I be with a guy, even if he’s a nice guy and wants a relationship with me, if I’m not attracted to him???!
It will not work. I was married to a man for 28 years that I was not attracted to. I finally divorced him last. I wasted a LOT of years and I never fell “in love” with him.
Exactly
I think what’s he’s getting at is that attraction can grow over time. He’s suggesting that we get to know and appreciate a man for what he can give to us, not just for his sexual energy. It’s up to us to use our best judgment in whether or not someone is a good long-term fit. Obviously if the sexual attraction hasn’t grown after a good length of time in dating someone, we should probably let them loose 😉
Practicing John’s advice with someone now, so I’ll let you all know how it goes 😆
I’m not sure, but I think he meant intense sexual attraction. Some kind of attraction is probably fine, but not that we instantly want to have sex with him and do it. That kind of guy probably often get this reaction a lot from women and have several women that he is seeing. But I don’t know to what extent he means. I got to know my guy for a month or two on Facebook and wasn’t at all attracted to him, and when we met I felt immediate sexual attraction to him and we had sex after the first date, and in our case it worked out fine. We’ve been together for 1,5 years, still very interested in each other.
Oh my goodness I’m not even half way thru and this is explains so much of my dating problems… Im learning!!! Thank you
Wow, Mr Gray has done it again! This is so comprehensive and practically insightful 😊 Thank you 😊
Wow!!! I learned sooo much from listening to John!!! Wow! So much I didn’t know before. I think a lot of the mistakes I made in my past relationships were due to not understanding how a man thinks/ operates. Now I am in a new relationship with a good man but I feel like I need to apply what I learned from this video to be able to stay happy with him. Thank you so much for this excellent content! Wish I had heard about all this sooner in life. Much appreciated! 🙏
Dr Gray, is resources. I just love him. And thank you Ms Michelle
Yes! John is wonderful! Thanks for watching and for your comments too!
Thank you for this ! I love that he delivers the message in a light and fun way but backed up with physiological and scientific explanation as well !!! 😊 xx
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for watching and for leaving a comment too!
Wish they would have taught this in high school! It shd be mandatory!!!
Michelle your right. hearing this over and over until it sank in. But what most sinks in is how do I feel. So much I over think. I’m going back to my old simple rules of everything, if it feels good do it, and if it doesn’t don’t.
That sounds like a good plan Valentina! Thanks for watching!
Thank you so much, Michelle and Dr John. I really really appreciate for this video. It is so important, so valuable for women who are seeking a life-lasting love. 💖💖💖💖💖I am truly grateful for this!
This was so empowering and I’m so grateful for this wisdom! It is healing parts of me and encouraging me on this path of single life living going towards dating for the next year!
You have an amazing smile greetings from Egypt Iam Ibrahim from Egypt 🇪🇬
Fantastic video. Can you make one for Men!! They REALLY need to know how to...Comunicate! ❤️
Great suggestion! Thanks for watching!
Studies have shown most men don't read books on relationships. They are more likely to watch videos.
If you build your person up instead of tearing them down you'll find that they'll stay more masculine. You can't tear a person down like I've seen so many women do and expect them to stay masculine and confident.
Thank you for this interviewer, allowing plenty of space for this Wise Man to share truths❤️
Michelle, you have the best guests! Thank you for all you do
Thanks for watching and for your comments too Donna!
John Gray has helped me so much ❤️ I've watched this video sooo much, it's been so helpful for me ❤️ Thank you for this ❤️
This video is excellent. John teaches things I have never heard explained before. I will be listening to thins many more times! Thank you!
Glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching and for your comments too Donna!
Great interview ❤❤ thank you Michelle and John!!
That's mind-blowing! Thank you so much!!! Greetings from Poland 😊
You're very welcome! Thanks for watching and for your comments too Monika!
John Gray has amazing relationship advise! Logical & it all makes sense! Thank you for this video!
Love that concept from 40:00. It’s so helpful to know this about myself and also about how men
feel after sex!
Was married almost 30 years, widowed 6 years ago. I absolutely love people and fall in love too easily. But I’m super shy with beginning the whole sexual side. Very desirable men have shown interest. But for me to date just to have fun feels awful because it’s leading the guy on. They bond and I’m not ready to do that. I may never be ready. Sure don’t want to build a man up just to let him down. I won’t do it. And never again do I want to experience the grueling process of illness and the death of someone who’s become “home” to me. I don’t have any answers. I’m a hopeless case. Thank goodness I have so many interests. Back to over-working and busily self-isolating. Good luck everyone!
Omg poor guys at my golf club... I'll be a practicing... my skills on the low! ..I'm so glad I heard this content definitely in my masculine energy..to protect me .. I'm so inspired... writing it all done ..thank you for this series
Love to hear this. How do you plan of doing this?
I work from home so I dont have much guys around to practice haha. I live in cold london, no clue where to start I'm 30 nearly now 🤣
Me too iam in that energy I dont know if I can come out.
You're welcome Vix. Let us know how it goes with the golf club guys! :-)
This is a fascinating discussion and I’m enjoying it so much. So much interesting information to learn from. Thank you both
Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/
& FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) HERE: whatrealmenwant.com/
A relationship online for a year with a guy with a music playing channel on you tube..has started to wain.My comments arent respected or appreciated anymore.It was awesome a 2 way street of appreciation.
Now i dont feel worthy or needed.Ive no desire to comment anymore and hes stopped posting music videos.Im lost with it all but the spiritual connection is strong...i never want to lose this connection its like nothing ive ever experienced in all my life. Thankyou Mechelle and John i see things in a different light now.
online relationships are platonic fantasy, these are not real relationships. Call, then video then meeting in person asap, otherwise it's fantasy.
Very interesting. However you talk about women dating in their 35 and 40s, but what about women starting over again un the dating game in their 50s?
You have an attractive woman
I will say he is right about having fun in the now ! Dont think about the future if its suppose to happen it will!
Now I understand everything after so Many years of wondering what the mystery is between a man and woman. Thank You so much 💜
I wish there were people like you two talking about these things 30/40 years ago I no I'm not alone in saying this I have made SO many mistakes and been alone more bc of not knowing what I was doing Rong . THANK YOU for your very empowering words ❤
John's a valuble guest Michelle. He's the reason I have had a long, healthy relationship. Love your podcasts
Ha! I’m 69 there are not many people to ‘practice’ on!
Amazing ❤The best lecture I have ever heard. Thank you 🙏 John 🎉
Absolutely incredible wisdom shared. My dating will change dramatically. Wow. Thank you both!
Wow, so many gems! Thank you John and Michelle! 🥇🏆👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻💓💓💓
This video is so amazing and has so much content that is valuable that I feel it’s a shame you titled for single. A lot of my married friends could do with the advice and could miss out on watching because of the title.
Hi there Fabia! Please feel free to send the link to share it with your married friends. It was recorded for a conference of single women though. Hence the title. Take care and thank you for watching too!
Excellent advice. Learned some things I didn't know. Amazing info. So many women need this information before dating. I am blown away.
Thank you so much.
John I noticed your not drinking water, this entire sermon. Pancrease need fluids thanks so much.
I am 54. Started dating again after 5yrs divorced. I feel like I have no idea what to do.
The comment about the "rebound girl" is very intetesting. There is someone that has recently divorce after 20yrs marriage that is after me. I used the analogy of "it is the second mouse that gets the cheese". I told him I didn't want to be 1st mouse. 😉
People are ready to commit again at different rates...it varies widely. I believed what you
believe but kept an open mind. I was already a practising clinical psychologist and professor not in any hurry to commit a year after being widowed. He was ready but we dated saying we would date other people.....after a year of only dating each other we were each sure each other was the one.
I love the wisdom of John Gray
Eventually I might just remember most of these suggestions when dating.!
This is so life-changing!!! Thank you so much for this video!!! I tried some of the tips here and they definitely improved my dating life! ❤
Love every bit of it. Thankyou for this episode. First time commenting on any video in youtube :)
Omg...I am screwed..great material and info I just don’t know if I can do all that...my nerves are shot 🥺
I thought somewhat similar a couple of years ago, now I am with a wonderful man that loves me and I love him. I really worked on my emotions and started eating what my body needs, started exercising and taking care of myself like I was a trophy. I got a lot more picky with men. I was at the bottom to start with, now I am much better off. There is hope! ❤️
Thank you! I have a lot of work cut out for me ; I agree. God bless; happy to hear all the positive changes ! ❤️
Mine too
Bless you so much.
I am not doing nothing for him.
Thanks for watching Ella. Just be kind to yourself and remember we don't have to be perfect to find love!
OK so let me just say this. I love John Gray but the fact of the matter is although he's amazing he's not always right. I am with a person right now and I adore him we are so emotionally compatible and from day one I have been so turned on by him physically. He's such a beautiful man he's 6 foot four and he's just tall dark and handsome with a super man chin, beautiful full lips, rippling muscles...he's just a gorgeous specimen of a man. I love just looking at him. And the first time I saw him I was like wow this man is hot. I was immediately sexually attracted. Eight years later I feel the same way. I catch my breath when he walks into a room. But we also have this great emotional connection and Being with him always just feels like Heaven... it just has always felt perfect and right and beautiful and we don't even have to speak to have a good time together. It doesn't matter what we're doing because the primary purpose is being together, everything else is just icing. So its Perfectly OK to be sexually attracted to a man when you first meet, if anything I think that's incredibly important as long as you have an emotional connection as well.
@Julia Isabella The dating landscape has changed dramatically in the last 8 years as explained by John.
I agree. It something related to an instant chemistry or charisma. If a man does not interest me/intrigues me right from the beginning, then I will not lose my time on dates.
Just because you're the exception doesn't make it the rule. I'm happy you found your person
Yeah that part about taking the one who physically does absolutely nothing for you, is the part I'll be freely skipping, because my experiences prove me otherwise.
Guys don't want the "ugly woman" either...so🤷♀️
Also, I'd never want to be the woman who's Looks are just "tolerated" because he might believe that I'm the "safer choice" and that mind set can come from ugly guys.
Julia, you were blessed to meet the right guy! This doesn't always happen....cherish your guy. For most of us, John is on point.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge this really helped me.
Love this dude to pieces!!!
Was so attracted to my real first love and it lasted for 35 years until his passing and we were still in love physically and in the heart so i really think your wrong ! Maybe you dont want to hear that but its the truth . I have to say our love grew after many years but we were each others go to and even after years and years we were still touchy idk every relationship is diff but i will say men do love to be appreciated ! And they also liked to be ask for things like anything . Exa hey i could really use your help to pick this up your soo much stronger than me !
Thank you for having Dr. John Gray on your show. I am new to your show and was not aware that you are coach. Do you find it overwhelming to work with clients who are unrealistic with their expectations from the opposite sex and find themselves to be intitled? Thank you. Mehran from San Diego.
such a lovely, beautiful being 💗😊 thank you so much for sharing him and his gracious experience / wisdom 🙏💜
Very interesting insights. I am interested to try this for a year - not really even interested in a soulmate - just a nice guy!
This is really great thank you so much
Thanks you so much for watching and for leaving a comment too!
Love this mans videos
These videos are beyond helpful to me. Thank you so much!!!!!!
Thank you so much for this video it is full of precious advices to learn how to manage things better and communicate better it is really a skill to learn that could benefit to so many women and men, we should work on it to become more fulfilled beings. I took some notes but will listen to it again to take even more from it and become used to this new logic. Thanks a lot to both of you :)
Thanks these video really help me
Thanks. I've learned alot.
Glad to hear it! Thanks for watching and for your comments too!
This is awesome advice and it makes sense!
Single at 44 and never had a boyfriend categorically...and still saving myself for only 1 man...and so tried dating apps but still men are just after one thing...one time one turned me down cause he said its no point not having close intimacy...
Carol, don't have much hope for dating apps. My advise is to go to different local events and meet people in person.
@@RosemaryBabyZVllX agree, meet in person, catch their vibe, online dating consumes so much time and energy
go out as much as you can and meet people without draining yourself, do things that make you happy where you can socialize with men, like dancing, theatre workshops, etc
Amazing thank you both I learned so much
The biology is practically saying we do not match at all, women and males, unless there is a huge amount of effort and willingness involved, from both sides. And this will be happening more rare and rare.
Other than this, very useful teachings!
Just proves we aren’t really made to be in relationships but to have babies…. Shame really
My man today said don’t listen all that stuff , we need to be in balance together, we know our self how to have a relationship, tekst me when you want me to call , ; call me please ; say what you want
Thank you for the gift of sharing this fantastic advice.
I agree with most of what he says..but u can't just keep.looking for positive casual dating experiences..How is it neediness.to want a real soulmate?
Awesome advice. Great content. Thank you.
Thx for your amazing wisdom Mr John
2021
Wow this is amazing
You have an amazing smile lady
Thanks a lot. It' s just fantastic! 💕
yeah I dont wanna be the rebound, it's only going to waste my time and energy... being distracted with the wrong guy will push me further away from being available to my right man
Probably Best video ever! Thank you 🙏
Head
Heart
Genital
Spiritual.
That's right Dorothy! Thanks for watching!
Lol! It's just a bagel 😂 yep, been there done that. It was good while it lasted though!
Good interview. Thank you both!
John, those glasses are so flattering... more youthful than the dark rimmed ones... can see your beautiful eyes
I think so too! Thanks for watching Donna!
@@MichelleMarchantJohnson you're soooo welcome Michelle! I share your videos with my small group of ladies all the time ♥️
@@donnebonne Thank you! That's so nice of you! Take care!
Amazing!!! So helpful thank you :)
I think it’s confusing when he says go for men you’re not attracted to. I don’t think it means you don’t see them as attractive. I hope because It’s impossible for me to even spend 10 minutes with a man I don’t find attractive. I’m pursued by attractive men and I’m not desperate to please them. I’m comfortable receiving from them. I think once in I’ve started giving too much and that’s my problem. But it’s possible to allow men you’re attracted to to pursue you. Maybe that’s a certain energetic trick though. I know what the feeling is when my energy goes toward a man. I’ve learned how to direct that energy.
So as irony would have it a man I’m super physically attracted reached out to me and it’s so clear what John is talking about... lol I can manage it but I realize based on very little I’m ready to jump in bed and marry this man lol this is probably what he’s saying to run away from.
Helter skelter, what happens when you're all in and you give to much? Do they end up running away or requesting for a me time.
@@otegaben1 well before I was aware of this dynamic I was in a relationship where I had attracted a high value man averse to commitment in previous relationships. We were together in love but the energy switched a little were we lived together but the imbalance did cause him to look for places to get space. I eventually left though not him. But had I not allowed my energy to go toward him I think our dynamic would have stayed healthier with him feeling more appreciated and less restricted. I think our dynamic was better than most because my energy naturally is about me. I have my own projects and focuses. We also lived on a 400 acre homestead so despite living in a small cabin we had a lot of space.
@@TheMoonDejesus I just had the same thing happen to me. He went hard in the first 2.5 months and doing everything until 4 months in, he's telling me that he doesn't like that he's not doing enough for me like he did for his past relationships, like adding them to his phone bills, blowing up their phones e.t.c he said he needs some time to figure out why her can't naturally do those things for me. I interpreted that as his lost interest or connection with me. As I stood up to leave, he's says I shouldn't give up to easily. I am very confused.
One thing though, we haven't had sex. Just kisses and cuddling, and this is the first time he's had an experience like this. But he claims it's not about sex and that her can't really pinpoint why?
What and how you speak to a man is what I needed to hear😊 thank you
Insightful.
39 yr old single mom here- my 10th grade chemistry teacher told my father I was a taker and since then I really have tried to always give more than I got. I focus on my daughter and there isn’t a lot of time to date but I feel relief at the thought of not having to do so much and getting to pick what to do and all I have to do is be grateful and happy? Yes please! I’m not sure how to get the dates tho.
I don't want to date a man and hurt him down the road, because I have no physical attraction.? Then what?
👍 exactly, I also need an answer for that question 🙏
Okey thank you