What John Gray is talking about is true on most things, I would agree psych has ruined relationships. It is hard to find a real man today that is described in the video. You can't get aroused from a cheap, narcissistic, stingy, disrespectful, talks to much, selfish, immature, etc. single males. They are not interested into anything a woman has to say or care about a woman's wellbeing. It doesn't take much to figure these folks out and no these weren't people I picked. It sucks to be a real woman these days!
This is funny because the more men become more like women(feminine), the more women dislike men. But it was women culturally telling men for 50 years or more that masculinity was toxic to them.
lollll it's hilarious.....as if there women are so eager and interested to listen to what their partners are saying and are worried about his wellbeing 😂😂😂 You just seeing young men partially mirroring the behaviour of women.
John Gray is missing the point that most women eschewing men today grew up in homes either single mothers. They’ve always been doing life without a man. They saw what men did to their mothers, sisters, friends. They know few, if any, other women who have not been assaulted and/or abandoned by men. Stop blaming women for being uninterested in men- perhaps look at the devastating role men have played in the lives of most women in the past 60 years.
Yeah, having bad role models for parents leads to all kinds of problems. Are you saying these women don't know any good men? If that's the case, might want to think about why.
We need Good Men, not just "a man" - what a notion... 😢 Been there, thank you for saying it OUT loud... Few men choose to work on their traumas and Build something Real with Healthy Women... Too many men "are led by their d...cks and think a Good Woman will sit around and accept BS forever... We don't... We choose to leave (even if it's Heartbreaking to us and our children), and they continue to" wreak havoc " in "unsuspecting future victims"... A very sad state of affairs in the world today...
I always knew that the love of the right man would be the greatest treasure for me in life and most women that I know think the same way. We just learn to be independent because we are not receiving that love.
Modern times traditional values, morals, manners, loyalty to one partner and gentleman behaviours are no longer in men, women don't think there is quality marriage to start a family. Being single is better eliminating stress of having low quality marriage.
Our society has changed so much as an independent woman the struggle is very real. He is correct about trying to find a man these days seems impossible.
It’s simple but complicated, a lot of info to take in and remember. One thing not mentioned is when you are dealing with a self centered person, which our society seems to breed more than ever. You can try everything and some people just don’t want to put the work into having a great marriage especially if they are narcissistic or have unresolved childhood trauma that they are not interested in healing. What you do not heal you bring into the relationship with your partner and in your parenting, so they are forced to suffer and will. Heal your trauma before entering a relationship or have children and find someone who is doing the same, then you will be on the same page and have the best chance of having a healthy relationship with anyone you choose to bring into your life life. It’s not possible to have a healthy relationship with somebody who is not healthy, believe me I’ve learned the hard way.
You are pointing out some real true & practical points here. I hope more people will start to realize these things so that we can build a higher quality society again.
Today all roles from yesterday are changed. All men I've met expected and took money from me. They have often mommy issues, expect to be nursed like babies and with no responsibilities. It's not easy to find better man today. And I really need no man anymore, especially narcissists I've dealt in the past.
I don't think people actually realize just how important the comment "if the woman isn't enjoying sex, you're not doing what you need to make her feel like a woman". If I look back at all my relationships, it was only ever enjoyable when I noticed that the woman was actively enjoying sex. Whenever that wasn't the case, nagging and general lack of respect or appreciation would get progressively worse.
I've dealt with narcissistic women, women that lied, cheated, stole money, etc., etc. I don't hate women for MY OWN POOR CHOICES. So, don't hate men for women who have made poor choices. Most times (not all), childhhod trauma and attachment styles significantly contribute to these situations. Plenty of single dads raise children. Plenty of men are giving and loving providers. SO, LET"S STOP GENERALIZING and attempt to make better choices.
Agreed... The level of bs in these online streets is mind-blowing... I would prefer to hear more Balanced Views, no matter the filter we choose to look at life through... The second I hear All Women (or even worse : females) or All Men (and the worse version, males) are like this or that or the other, I'm out... There are plenty of wonderful coaches out there - TH-cam is a Great source, Thank God!... Nonetheless, Dr. Gary's teachings will be Forever Valid, whether human beings like it or not... 🎉🎉🎉
Oh please . How many times you have to experience the same crap to learn about the outcome ? For God sake , stop this vuctimhood mentality, learn something
You're a liar, you haven't had women like that. Men lie about EVERYTHING ....... It's "the game" ...... Right. You men forget yourselves, women are allowed TO READ now lol and we read research papers while you men play video games. The research shows Everything...... EVERY Negative trait you MEN, claim about women is true of MEN, not women. Facts over feelings bro! Oh, and by the way, coercion (go look up that word) is now legally sexual assault!!! 100% of men are guilty of it!!! 100%!!!! According to the FBI! It really is ALLL MEN!!! ALSO lol less than 1% of narcissists are women! You've NEVER met a narcissistic woman..... Ever. The research shows what the Bible tells us is true..... The nature of EVERY MAN since THE FALL, is complete trash, god himself said "their wickedness knows no end, all they do is sin and sin all day...... When it comes to the nature of men, there is not a righteous bond among them". Even God knows men are trash! Now that women are ALLOWED to read the Bible, and ANYTHING ELSE WE CHOOSE TO........ You men are phucked........ Women don't want men anymore, why would we??.
With that rational there would be no fraud cases. You can only pick right if you have all the information. People are very good in masking their evilness otherwise there'd be no evil. Blaming the victim of fraud is disgusting.
notes: 2:30 early signs that we need to look for of a relationship breaking down: Lack of Sexual Attraction when the passion and attraction goes away. (when she is not enjoying it anymore... he does since not possible without erection). 3:15 women need to feel very much loved not that men don't but women need to feel that: they're priority that they're seen that they're heard they're not ridiculed they're not minimized they're not neglected they're not ignored 4:03 because when you demonstrate caring affection consideration understanding empathy taking on the side of someone respecting their needs and wishes when you when you do that it raises a hormone called estrogen in the body it's a mindset when somebody treats you that way your estrogen levels go up when you treat yourself that way also your estrogen levels go up 5:15 if a woman is hungry and a man feeds her her estrogen will go up estrogen goes up whenever you feel have a need and somebody's there for me I can depend on them they're reliable they're a support for me and when that estrogen is not being stimulated women will not feel the desire to have sex or enjoy sex 6:00 testosterone is the hormone of well-being for men we need to make 10 to 20 times more in a relationship when a man has good healthy testosterone nothing bothers him the little problems here little problems there doesn't bother him going to be evidenced by a good sexual relationship 6:30 sex Center in a man is twice as big (as a womans) sexual arousal stimulates double his testosterone we need more testosterone than women otherwise were depressed and anxious and upset 6:52 if a man is no longer attracted to and turned on to his wife she's not getting something she really needs uh which is attention affection warmth i stop taking notes here because nearly everything he says is worth taking notes.... I'll only note the really noteworthy ones: what prolactin does 11:23 is it builds up inside of you it it keeps you from wandering to other women like two 25:34 magnets coming together and as they get closer the closer they come it's like electricity that happens that you can have for a lifetime if you you you can't have the free attraction which you get with the dopamine dopamine will always 25:47 go away in a marriage the free dopamine because the familiarity sets in you get to know each other routine sets in 25:55 there's no newness so that you don't get the free Sur of testosterone but with 26:00 communication skills and mindset and lifestyle changes men can pump up their 26:06 testosterone women can pump up their estrogen they can communicate in ways that will do that that maintains the 26:12 polarity and I call those biohacks a hormonal biohacks which is what I stay 26:18 what I do what I eat what I time I go to sleep all these things will either 26:23 increase or decrease healthy hormone balance in a man or woman anytime you do something 29:12 for a woman that she could do for herself you will produce estrogen (making dinner for her) you can treat her with such respect and such support in the 30:44 relationship uh where she could want to have sex every day practically 33:59 if you don't release what happens is you never 34:04 separate from the woman your energy stays together and that will keep her in the mood that keeps the sexual potency 34:10 there the attraction is sustained literally all the time so you could have sex every day in your in your 70s omen's sexual potency and interest in sex has a lot to do with their estrogen when 34:24 you're when you don't release her estrogen doesn't crash it stays high f you even if you H release if you go six days your potency will 34:40 build up enough so now you have the the same kind of interest and attraction and 34:45 patience that you had when you f first fell in love because the dopamine and the beginning of the 34:51 relationship gives you that extra 50% dopamine goes away you don't have that 34:56 50% and women will say to me oh why can't he be like he was in the beginning well he doesn't have that 35:02 50% and that's so powerful so you it's it's so if you have too much sex you you're having sex with her 35:24 on Saturday night and she's not interested in sex on Tuesday and you do it with yourself you just lost all your 35:30 potency and your potency is what wakes up a woman's energy your interest your liveness your testosterone levels that 35:37 rise in her presence see that's a whole thing you could be working out in the gym your testosterone's going out but 35:43 you're not having it go up in the presence of her 35:55 I've learned how to listen to women without inter erupting that's another fix that's an estrogen stimulator in a 36:01 woman get her to talk more most guys wanted to talk less now get her to talk more without rushing her to a point 36:07 don't interrupt her ask more questions oh tell me more about that what else sometimes we feel guilty uh for not uh taking our space 38:08 men need a lot of space and that's another Dynamic for more sex for it's 38:14 distance they all saying distance makes the the what distance makes the heart grow stronger 37:15 and you can't have love grow unless you talk about whatever's going on inside men don't need to do that women need to 37:22 do that (90% of people who go to psychologists are women) 39:43 little boy up to 13 years old does need does need to express feelings just like 39:49 a little girl we don't have testosterone then we had the same level of testosterone as a little girl in our childhood we know that in therapy that anything you're feeling now 90% of 40:08 it is your childhood
Mother Angelica warns our end is near when women turn masculine, men turn feminine, children disrespect parents, parents disrespect their children, neighbor strife to name a few. I’m starting to see a lot of this.
I think marriage is a lovely idea and looks great in a romcom. But the reality is, it's an outdated concept that was always designed for the benefit of the man. ..He gets a free live-in cook, cleaner, sex toy, therapist , errands runner, and personal care giver for his children. Even a gardener if he's really lucky. What does she get out of this arrangement??? She gets to be the family servant that never gets a day off! Gets no thank yous , and can't even get a cup of tea when she's not feeling well. On the other hand, he gets a sniffle, and the world's coming to an end 😂 YAY FOR MARRIAGE 😆😆😆 No thanks
It doesn't have to be that way if you have the right man, but even the good ones do need training. It is true about illness though. When I'm really sick I still have to take care of myself during the day, but he'll cook dinner and clean up after work. Often grumbling about it though. When he's sick I drop everything to take care of his every need. That doesn't feel fair when you're on death's door. I dometimes joke to him when I'm sick that I wish I had a wife to take care of me.
don't be silly. marriage was designed because the division of labor made sense for the survival of the family (men took care of women so women could take care of children). before the discovery of electricity and all the subsequent technologies women couldn't survive without men. some of the amish still live like this, the men do the hunting/fishing/farming/building and the women do the housework and child care (men do the hard labor, women do the soft labor). you are right about marriage being outdated, though, but that's because there's no benefit for men. men still have to provide the house and the food but women have outsourced their role to poor, foreign women (the cooking, cleaning and child rearing).
She gets the guy doing the really dirty, possibly dangerous work, who may fix the plumbing, or whatever breaks in the house, who protects her from burglars, or other ill-intended individuals, etc. It was an arrangement, which worked for millenias. Yes, it was not perfect, but that‘s because people can fail. But the tyrannic, violent husband was the exception, not the rule. Modern women want the authority of men, but not the responsibilities. They want the upsides a man might enjoy, but not the downsides of manhood. And the more women fight their own nature, which is having children, nurturing them, and have the man provide the more miserable they get. The rise in psych meds show that all to well. Don‘t try to trick nature, because nature will punish you twice over.
Thank you ❤ I always appreciate to listen to John Grey ! Id be happy if John will give his perspective & knowledge for many hours ! As long as it takes for him to do a full tour of the information he is willing to share. Maybe there can be a full many hours of recording & then short videos that can be listened to as a series . 😊
Dr. John Gray is SO UNDERRATED in our world, especially today. His books and his entire body of work speaks for itself. People need to be open to his work and try it and see how it works for them.💯
This guy is the goat I can listen to him forever. He is underrated too for the younger gen. 23:10 28:15 38:40 BS men are talking too much about feelings. 23:53 50:00 1:10:15 single women, date men you aren’t turned on to
Both men and women need to have a fluid integration of masculine and feminine energies. Neither should be expected to be predominantly one or the other. And trading one for the other is the opposite of integration. Let’s,start,talking about how to be both, not one or the other.
I think intimacy is more important than sex because there is an unnecessary pressure on men to perform! And respect is key. There is no bigger intimacy killer than disrespect. As long as you can be together, no big expectations, things will be relaxed and enjoyable.🤗
You have to look at the problem. Its men. Why not just do therapy for men who are abusive, because thats what most are like. Look at the sats. Im 52. I have witnessed including myself serious abuse from men, ranging from neglect and emotional to being unalived and SA, Rapd. Counted nearly 100. Please, if your a therapist, go and talk to men and get their attention to change. There's too many therapist and coaches who target women but we don't need your help because we're alright until a man enters are aura and spaces. Women cannot change the problem, its men on men who have to deal with eachothers BS.
Well said! Most men are evil. I think they are to proud to seek help and think they can deal with things on there own which is definitely not helping them. They don't want to be seen as weak, but they need some serious help because they take it out on women. I love being single.
What you are already a fun and joyful woman? Would it be a bad idea to date a fun and joyful man or does it has to be a boring man too? The latter sounds it would drain the energy from the woman ( self-experienced unfortunately).
One of the best talks I’ve seen in a long time. It’s so true, I hate it when I sense my partner getting impatient because I don’t get straight to the point. It’s just natural for me to give a full story. I need to provide context and details and I love it when I am being listened to. If my partner seems genuinely interested it makes me happy which makes me more touchy feely so the chances of him getting lucky is very high.
Women with wisdom know that a man is not a plan. If we women are educated and financially independent then we don't need or necessarily want a man. Also, how many women who have been cheated on, abused, assaulted or r4p3d are looking for more of the same? Dr. Gray seems to miss this point. If a man comes along that is willing to be a true equal partner; a respectful, reliable and trustworthy partner who wants to join a team that is striving in sync for the same goals, then I and many independent women would be open to a relationship. But we are not looking for one - life is full of other things to do.
No there's a ton of us out there. You just reject us immediately bc we're "nice." So yeah no sympathy at all for you women. You have freedom to choose, you always pick wrong and then you complain. Where are all the good men? You mean the mile long list of guys you rejected? Bc those are the men you're saying you want.
Woman want men for traditional things only but not having to do any traditional things them selves, men want women for traditional things and are willing to do all the traditional things that come along with it. Provide, fix car tires, pick you up, protect, pick up after you. Women are not willing to do any of that and on top of that they stop having sex once every need is met because they turn it off. Men cannot turn it off, if we could we would and would stay single like most men are doing now anyway.
What exactly is it that causes a lot of men to change so drastically after he releases his life force? As a woman it is very confusing. From our perspective we have literally opened ourselves up in the most vulnerable way possible and it it’s important that we still feel connected after “the act”. It may look like being held, having a conversation about how great it was etc.
The French call it ‘le petit mort’ meaning ‘the little death’. It’s likely hormonal, it’s not intended to be cold or anything, it’s just a clear energy drain. Most men love to hold their partner afterwards though, even at the risk of nodding off.
I was astonished by the statement in minute 22 that because women also bring income into the family, inflation has occurred. It's as if greed and financial speculation is taken for granted and the economy can only work that way. Financial speculation is the problem and not women's financial independence.
Poor Linda, the way economics works is the law of supply and demand. The labor pool has doubled since the addition to it of women therefore wages have not kept pace with inflated cost of living. 1st wave feminism roots lie in communism, so it is conceivable that the entire movement has been a tool in the war on capitalism, which we do not actually have in USA, so don’t bother going there lol
Female independence is a contributor to higher asset prices and lower wages. Its not the only thing but part of it. TBH Id be ok if women raised the husband and family and only one partner went to work but that really annoys women for the most part.
So, the advice to single women sounds nice, but I'm not sure how well it will work. I have had guys I am not interested feel "used" if I go on dates with guys who like me more than I like him. What if he bonds with me, but I don't bond with him? Is there a # of dates to go on before you are "stringing him along"?
2 commercials in the first 8 minutes.! No matter how much I love to listen to Dr John Grey… that many commercials in that short of time is way too many
notes- 2: 41:20 so if you want to know why men are messed up it's not that they couldn't talk about their feelings when they were children they're messed up because : their father did not treat their mother with respect and their mother did not fully appreciate their father 42:24 messages we get from our environment that say are you a success are you not a success (that raise or decrease T) you could grow up as a little boy if your father didn't feel successful you'll absorb those feelings of an INadequacy inside and when when 42:37 you're feeling like I I failed it will activate those feelings men only feel bad when they're too far on their 42:54 female side you can't have negative emotions if you're if 43:00 you're on your male side 43:12 too much then you'll have positive emotions confidence happiness enthusiasm 43:18 if your estrogen becomes too high or your testosterone becomes too low and therefore your estrogen is too high then 43:24 what happens is you procrastinate you don't follow through you get irritated you get annoyed by stuff uh you you get 43:32 mad at your partner ironically see people think the opposite they all think oh angry men or aggressive men or high 43:38 testosterone no when a man is aggressive or angry his estrogen levels are flaring 43:44 and his testosterone's going down there's something called aromat taste which causes his testosterone to convert 43:50 into estrogen when he loses confidence you when men become feminized 44:25 anything that's producing more estrogen and testosterone has a negative effect on men babies they just bring out they just radiate love 44:51 ... so love is estrogen when a man feels I make a difference if he's confident if he has self-esteem 45:46 testosterone goes up it's just an attitude it's a mindset 45:51 can have that mindset and sit in my room and do nothing and I'll be depressed I have to actually be helping people what 45:57 is the purpose of life for all the suicidal men out there go out and help somebody find somebody who needs your 46:02 help and help them your mood will go away it's do something me rather than talk about how feeling I don't my life 46:09 has no purpose I feel sad I feel no not good enough I okay all right a little 46:14 bit of that fine now go do something go help somebody do something where somebody says thank you I'm so glad 46:20 you're in my life that's why marriage is so so meaningful to men so meaningful 46:26 all these shallow relationships they just end it's everyone is just knocking you down after 46:32 another after another meaningless sex it destroys a men's whole life force they age you know the number one heart cause 46:39 of heart disease the biggest killer of men what is it no testosterone because I keep her 49:12 estrogen levels up now I'm an advanced student in all of this because I've learned how to never release a woman's love is the reward that you get when you 50:15 self-sacrifice when you do things that you don't even like doing you don't even want to do but if you make her happy you 50:22 want to do it 51:15 when men are more feminine than masculine these are the symptoms they're easily angry they're irritable their 51:21 lack of motivation they get passive they lose sexual interest they pornic they do the self make have sex with themselves 51:28 you know all this addiction to porn all of this is men being on their female side now what is female side remember 51:35 independent is more your masculine side dependent is your female side we don't want to do 50:28 anything we don't have to do this is a gene inside of men that women don't have 50:33 it's actually we have the giving Gene but it's been overridden by the Y chromosome whenever you're independent you're making male hormones 52:08 whenever you're dependent you're making female hormones 53:30 i don't need a man to make money what do I need a man for I need a man for a new kind of emotional support to feel loved 53:37 to feel heard to feel seen to feel helped you've got 10% of the men who are having women say yes and 22:54 then those men they have so many options that they're never going to settle on one so you've got a lot of men who are 23:00 45 years old who are handsome or have money and they've never made a commitment to love because they can't 23:05 find the masculinity inside of them because it was so easy to get laid they didn't have to work hard at it ou need to be 1:05:48 making estrogen to attract the right guy and if you're not making enough estrogen you could be pursuing the wrong 1:05:57 guys this is just what happens the when men that you're pursuing are almost always the wrong guys the good guys who 1:06:04 approach you if you don't have a lot of estrogen they're going to seem boring to you when your 1:06:24 estrogen is low you want you're attracted to a man who's not available that's it you're attracted 1:06:31 to somebody you have to please so when a woman's producing more of her male side she's 1:06:54 going to be a attracted to and pursue she'll pursue men who are not available 1:07:00 to her that's just what it is it's not like a man who has anything to give her 1:07:06 see if she's on her female side she's only attracted to men that can give me what I need but she doesn't feel what 1:07:12 she needs which her brain becomes hyper picky hyper judgmental 1:07:17 hypercritical and the only man she's not going to be critical of is the man who's not available to her who basically wants 1:07:24 to use her man out of work can't do anything to make make money he's going to have the worst 1:08:27 behaviors that's it he's violent he's depressed his estrogen Remember Violence aggression only happens when a man is 1:08:33 weak on his male side and his female side is too high so that's where the 1:08:39 anger comes from and I don't want men to feel bad because they get their angry we're all on our female side today our 1:08:44 culture is De demasculate us uh the I heard I wouldn't he's only boring because you're boring 1:10:51 because you're not in touch with your feminine side which is happy and joyful and fulfilled your brain is too critical if you have a challenge being 1:12:10 on your female side you definitely don't want to be in a relationship with a guy for a while who you want to be with 1:12:16 because now you're trying to impress them and you want to make sure they like you and that c causes you to go to your 1:12:22 mail side because you're already on your mail side you stay stuck there so find somebody who wants to please you more 1:12:29 than than you care about pleasing them the female side always wants to be seen and heard and feel safe and get to know somebody and 1:14:50 then the energy comes from the head to the heart down to the genitals if it's starts at the genitals you're in fantasy 1:14:56 land you're imagining you're not in reality women need reality a lot of women if I not turned on to him he must 1:15:03 be wrong no get to know a guy it's 1:21:26 known that if you don't masturbate you'll live longer if you use fantasy with your penis you're going to learn you'll be become a pre premature ejaculator okay 1:22:30 and and you want to be able to have lasting passion and you want vitality and you want to be having great sex in 1:22:37 your 70s and 80s don't waste your your life force 1:22:44 energy you have vibrancy you'll have more U Carisma you'll have more power you instinctively feel shame and feeling bad when you do something that's not good for you your 1:23:10 body tells you it's not good it's not healthy to do that it's just an addiction but once you start going up and down you get addicted to it just like if you take cocaine you'll you'll be addicted to it 1:23:39 it's a massive dopamine stimulator
I’m not lost I attract wounded men, Last 2 men had great jobs but they both would do small controlling behaviors. I chose to not address it with either because it would cause more control issues. They have zero interest in developing a deeper intelligence emotionally or intentionally either. Are they all like this, I don’t know it was just so disappointing that at age 55 I let men are doing the same thing they did when they were 20. I need an intellectually stimulated, emotionally intelligent, curious about life man and be attracted to them Anyone,? Anyone?
Completely agree, with yiu. I’m in my 40s. I I don’t see a difference with the men I meet - even though I try to be very open and vulnerable and express my emotional needs, I only experience men dismissing it and disrespecting it. I actually wrote a post about it on my IG yesterday. But I think it’s because more and more men or less in their masculine and mourn their feminine so they cannot actually be in their healthy, masculine energy
One day my friend called said please recognize me ,but didn’t tell his name,he was shy like a girl ,buti knew who he was,I talked,it was nice talking to him after a long time
John Gray has a terrific fixed model regarding men and women's roles in a marriage. " Gaining your own independence will increase your testosterone." - Yeah, true, whereas you are assuming that women should never change their dependence on men for survival. I can't agree more that sex is vital in a relationship, but can you really assume the foundational drive (yes, sex to reproduction) and the ultimate meaning of a relationship is based on sex??? Basically, sex drive decodes everything and " polarity" is the pull, true, but what draws two people together is because we are biologically the polarity, and that's all? Doesn't matter whom but who can make you great sex.
He completely ignored the question about what WOMEN can do for themselves….. “enjoy sex for men” the question isn’t what men want 😒 this is sounding like a red pill podcast
Well it’s pretty simple. What more do you want lol? Sex is a foundational principle that exemplifies a genuine connection between two committed people.
Its crazy because I've started dating this 21 year old female im 25 male our first date was at her favorite Cafe. She told me that's where she wanted to go
Well I do think that men can talk about their feelings but not to the level that women do. It makes sense that instead they're supposed to be problem-solving or reaching their goals as a way to feel better.
@@TiliaGreen then what do you talk about ? Most girlfriends/wives would prefer them to talk to them. Otherwise u have no idea what your man is going through. These rules are a bit stupid
I have been through so many worthless men over my lifetime that I don't think that I will ever have my female hormones anymore. I'm so use to being completely independent and doing everything for myself, for so long.. I'm at the point, where I do feel like, why do I need a man for anything at all. They just seem to just only disappoint me and add more problems in my life these days. I'm at the point, where I don't want to bother dating anymore. I'm better off on my own anymore. I don't want to raise and adopt a full grown man anymore. It's just not for me at all.
This is the one of the most ridiculous things women say. What if every man says I'm be man and be masculine if women are women enough. Its either you're feminine and woman enough, or you're not. Stop blaming your failures at feminity on men. Trust me, men know how to snatch the truely feminine woman.
6:00 testosterone is the hormone of well-being for men we need to make 10 to 20 times more in a relationship => but testo also makes more aggressive and we need less of that in a marriage
I think there was a baseline social order… during capitalism that served and was served by that system. But history has grown, changed, or progressed, since that system was popular in the West. Or fallen from grace, depending on your position and perspective.
Tell men you need a help. Most ignore you and those that offer help want sex only or a relationship in return. Easier to approach a charitable organisation. His eyes are half shut.
Doctor, women do have a sex drive. We actually do need sex and are driven to seek it especially certain times of the month. Even after menopause and during pregnancy many women have increased sex drive. Desire may be inhibited by violence and violent cultural prohibitions and being stuck with a partner they aren’t attracted to. And overburdened with children work and societal demands. Many women function in survival mode. Many who are of means date younger men and/or prioritize their sexual gratification.
Where I live, women are usually the breadwinners, working directly for the govt. or by proxy in schools and health care or social work. Men… might have side hustles. But not profitable or reliably profitable ones. More men stay home here to take care of the kids. And this is Amerixa. I used the X purposely: it’s inverted. Those are the serfs. The women prefer to stay single even if they live with their children’s father because they get better benefits that way. As unwed mothers. For the family. And that savings allows for health care in their budget for the men. Those are serfs here. Other men here are… like… bishops. Not quite kings… but executive managers of hedge funds that sort of thing, trust fund millionaires. They keep wives or families but also keep the motels in business ;o) So some women want that stability but realize they must give up their expectation of exclusivity. And that it comes with the risks of STD’s etc. People envy those moms in mansions… but feel sorry for them, too. “Wine moms” comes from here. That sort of thing.
Interesting points, but one thing I don't understand is how being a beta male nice guy provider helps with sex. Because it seems like women falling in love by doing things for him and not vice versa. And thus should make the sandwitch. Edit: Never mind, explained in 1:06
you know he makes some points but its stinking sarcastic thinking . I already know how people think. And it stinks there is nothing to study. Bad is bad either why you look at it. It does not take a relatonship expert to undersand how terrible people are today . And everyone has issues that are wierd. With all these chemical changes between people the odds of success are severely diminished .
He’s talking about his second wife if he mentioned a period, whos likely way younger than him. She was his tour guide when he went to China that’s how they met.
Why do I hear guys not want to be with a woman who he needs to support? Like if she doesn’t have a job and her own money - or even if she does have a job but doesn’t have a good amount of money he doesn’t want to be with her. He doesn’t want to provide.
Wait did he just say that if men learn self control to the point they can or would pull out before releasing then that keeps marriages together?!? Self control, huh? You don’t say… What the heck man is going to marry to stop ejaculating?!? I thought that was supposed to be a reward of marriage.
What John Gray is talking about is true on most things, I would agree psych has ruined relationships. It is hard to find a real man today that is described in the video. You can't get aroused from a cheap, narcissistic, stingy, disrespectful, talks to much, selfish, immature, etc. single males. They are not interested into anything a woman has to say or care about a woman's wellbeing. It doesn't take much to figure these folks out and no these weren't people I picked. It sucks to be a real woman these days!
It isnt just young men. Ive met plenty if exactly the types you described and theyre 66 55 48 yrs old. Greetings from Nth Europe.
This is funny because the more men become more like women(feminine), the more women dislike men. But it was women culturally telling men for 50 years or more that masculinity was toxic to them.
Are you interesting to talk to? Do you challenge and arouse these men?
lollll it's hilarious.....as if there women are so eager and interested to listen to what their partners are saying and are worried about his wellbeing 😂😂😂
You just seeing young men partially mirroring the behaviour of women.
1 problem. That guy you describe, women generally walk right past him everyday.
John Gray is missing the point that most women eschewing men today grew up in homes either single mothers. They’ve always been doing life without a man. They saw what men did to their mothers, sisters, friends.
They know few, if any, other women who have not been assaulted and/or abandoned by men.
Stop blaming women for being uninterested in men- perhaps look at the devastating role men have played in the lives of most women in the past 60 years.
Do you have any data to back up your claims?
Yeah, having bad role models for parents leads to all kinds of problems. Are you saying these women don't know any good men? If that's the case, might want to think about why.
We need Good Men, not just "a man" - what a notion... 😢 Been there, thank you for saying it OUT loud... Few men choose to work on their traumas and Build something Real with Healthy Women... Too many men "are led by their d...cks and think a Good Woman will sit around and accept BS forever... We don't... We choose to leave (even if it's Heartbreaking to us and our children), and they continue to" wreak havoc " in "unsuspecting future victims"... A very sad state of affairs in the world today...
@@DrLpodcastyeah the murder rates
@@mindflow82are you saying all these men are bad?
I always knew that the love of the right man would be the greatest treasure for me in life and most women that I know think the same way. We just learn to be independent because we are not receiving that love.
Modern times traditional values, morals, manners, loyalty to one partner and gentleman behaviours are no longer in men, women don't think there is quality marriage to start a family. Being single is better eliminating stress of having low quality marriage.
@@priyamoerlie4614 your mothers marriage, there’s your answer.
My bf is the exception to what you said.
Our society has changed so much as an independent woman the struggle is very real. He is correct about trying to find a man these days seems impossible.
It’s simple but complicated, a lot of info to take in and remember.
One thing not mentioned is when you are dealing with a self centered person, which our society seems to breed more than ever.
You can try everything and some people just don’t want to put the work into having a great marriage especially if they are narcissistic or have unresolved childhood trauma that they are not interested in healing.
What you do not heal you bring into the relationship with your partner and in your parenting, so they are forced to suffer and will.
Heal your trauma before entering a relationship or have children and find someone who is doing the same, then you will be on the same page and have the best chance of having a healthy relationship with anyone you choose to bring into your life life.
It’s not possible to have a healthy relationship with somebody who is not healthy, believe me I’ve learned the hard way.
I hear you.. and agree with your thoughts.
You are pointing out some real true & practical points here. I hope more people will start to realize these things so that we can build a higher quality society again.
🤔🎯🏆
Happy to be independent in this modern society. Learning that i need to become the love of my life, then all the rest is icing on the cake.
Today all roles from yesterday are changed. All men I've met expected and took money from me. They have often mommy issues, expect to be nursed like babies and with no responsibilities. It's not easy to find better man today. And I really need no man anymore, especially narcissists I've dealt in the past.
Date UP AND IGNORE BUMS!
These are the men YOU picked
@@KingdomofKinship True...and that helped me to learn a lot about myself too.
Stock up on wine and cats. Enjoy your solitude.
@@Jay-xb6nc I'm still working and in the free time enjoy my hobbies and my cat. Life is better then ever.
I’ve found that men with sedentary jobs are very emotional and dystegulated because the inactivity puts them so far on their feminine side.
I don't think people actually realize just how important the comment "if the woman isn't enjoying sex, you're not doing what you need to make her feel like a woman". If I look back at all my relationships, it was only ever enjoyable when I noticed that the woman was actively enjoying sex. Whenever that wasn't the case, nagging and general lack of respect or appreciation would get progressively worse.
I've dealt with narcissistic women, women that lied, cheated, stole money, etc., etc. I don't hate women for MY OWN POOR CHOICES. So, don't hate men for women who have made poor choices. Most times (not all), childhhod trauma and attachment styles significantly contribute to these situations. Plenty of single dads raise children. Plenty of men are giving and loving providers. SO, LET"S STOP GENERALIZING and attempt to make better choices.
Agreed... The level of bs in these online streets is mind-blowing... I would prefer to hear more Balanced Views, no matter the filter we choose to look at life through... The second I hear All Women (or even worse : females) or All Men (and the worse version, males) are like this or that or the other, I'm out... There are plenty of wonderful coaches out there - TH-cam is a Great source, Thank God!... Nonetheless, Dr. Gary's teachings will be Forever Valid, whether human beings like it or not... 🎉🎉🎉
Oh please . How many times you have to experience the same crap to learn about the outcome ? For God sake , stop this vuctimhood mentality, learn something
You're a liar, you haven't had women like that. Men lie about EVERYTHING ....... It's "the game" ...... Right.
You men forget yourselves, women are allowed TO READ now lol and we read research papers while you men play video games.
The research shows Everything...... EVERY Negative trait you MEN, claim about women is true of MEN, not women.
Facts over feelings bro!
Oh, and by the way, coercion (go look up that word) is now legally sexual assault!!!
100% of men are guilty of it!!!
100%!!!! According to the FBI! It really is ALLL MEN!!!
ALSO lol less than 1% of narcissists are women! You've NEVER met a narcissistic woman..... Ever.
The research shows what the Bible tells us is true..... The nature of EVERY MAN since THE FALL, is complete trash, god himself said "their wickedness knows no end, all they do is sin and sin all day...... When it comes to the nature of men, there is not a righteous bond among them".
Even God knows men are trash! Now that women are ALLOWED to read the Bible, and ANYTHING ELSE WE CHOOSE TO........ You men are phucked........ Women don't want men anymore, why would we??.
With that rational there would be no fraud cases. You can only pick right if you have all the information. People are very good in masking their evilness otherwise there'd be no evil. Blaming the victim of fraud is disgusting.
yes there are many good men and they are watching p*rn so they become repugnant for good women who are not gold diggers.
notes:
2:30
early signs that we need to look for of a relationship breaking down:
Lack of Sexual Attraction when the passion and attraction goes away. (when she is not enjoying it anymore... he does since not possible without erection).
3:15 women need to feel very much loved not that men don't but women need to
feel that:
they're priority
that they're seen
that they're heard
they're not ridiculed
they're not minimized
they're not neglected
they're not ignored
4:03
because when you demonstrate
caring
affection
consideration
understanding
empathy
taking on the side of someone
respecting their needs and wishes
when you when you do that it raises a hormone called estrogen in the body
it's a mindset when somebody treats you that way your estrogen levels go up
when you treat yourself that way also your estrogen levels go up
5:15 if a woman is hungry and a man feeds her her estrogen will go up
estrogen goes up whenever
you feel have a need and somebody's there for me
I can depend on them
they're reliable
they're a support for me and
when that estrogen is not being stimulated
women will not feel the desire to have sex
or enjoy sex
6:00 testosterone is the hormone of well-being for men
we need to make 10 to 20 times more in a relationship
when a man has good healthy testosterone nothing bothers him
the little problems here little problems there doesn't bother him
going to be evidenced by a good sexual relationship
6:30 sex Center in a man is twice as big (as a womans)
sexual arousal stimulates double his testosterone
we need more testosterone than women otherwise were depressed and anxious and upset
6:52 if a man is no longer attracted to and turned on to his wife she's not getting something
she really needs uh which is
attention
affection
warmth
i stop taking notes here because nearly everything he says is worth taking notes.... I'll only note the really noteworthy ones:
what prolactin does
11:23
is it builds up inside of you it it keeps you from wandering to other women
like two
25:34
magnets coming together and as they get closer the closer they come it's like electricity that happens that
you can have for a lifetime
if you you you can't have the free attraction which you get with the dopamine dopamine will always
25:47
go away in a marriage the free dopamine because the familiarity sets in you get to know each other routine sets in
25:55
there's no newness so that you don't get the free Sur of testosterone but with
26:00
communication skills and
mindset and
lifestyle changes
men can pump up their
26:06
testosterone women can pump up their estrogen they can communicate in ways that will do that that maintains the
26:12
polarity and I call those biohacks a hormonal biohacks which is what I stay
26:18
what I do what I eat what I time I go to sleep all these things will either
26:23
increase or decrease healthy hormone balance in a man or woman
anytime you do something
29:12
for a woman that she could do for herself you will produce estrogen
(making dinner for her)
you can treat her with such respect and such support in the
30:44
relationship uh where she could want to have sex every day practically
33:59 if you don't release what happens is you never
34:04
separate from the woman your energy stays together and that will keep her in the mood that keeps the sexual potency
34:10
there the attraction is sustained literally all the time so you could have sex every day in your in your 70s
omen's sexual potency and interest in sex has a lot to do with their estrogen when
34:24
you're when you don't release her estrogen doesn't crash it stays high
f you even if you H release if you go six days your potency will
34:40
build up enough so now you have the
the same kind of interest and attraction and
34:45
patience that you had when you f first fell in love because the dopamine and the beginning of the
34:51
relationship gives you that extra 50% dopamine
goes away you don't have that
34:56
50% and women will say to me oh why can't he be like he was in the beginning well he doesn't have that
35:02
50% and that's so powerful so you it's it's so if you have too much sex you
you're having sex with her
35:24
on Saturday night and she's not interested in sex on Tuesday and
you do it with yourself you just lost all your
35:30
potency and
your potency is what wakes up a woman's energy your interest your liveness your testosterone levels that
35:37
rise in her presence
see that's a whole thing you could be working out in the gym your testosterone's going out but
35:43
you're not having it go up in the presence of her
35:55
I've learned how to listen to women without inter erupting that's another fix that's an estrogen stimulator in a
36:01
woman get her to talk more most guys wanted to talk less now get her to talk more without rushing her to a point
36:07
don't interrupt her ask more questions oh tell me more about that what else
sometimes we feel guilty uh for not uh taking our space
38:08
men need a lot of space and that's another Dynamic for more sex for it's
38:14
distance they all saying distance makes the the what distance makes the heart grow stronger
37:15
and you can't have love grow unless you talk about whatever's going on inside men don't need to do that women need to
37:22
do that (90% of people who go to psychologists are women)
39:43
little boy up to 13 years old does need does need to express feelings just like
39:49
a little girl we don't have testosterone then we had the same level of testosterone as a little girl in our childhood
we know that in therapy that anything you're feeling now 90% of
40:08
it is your childhood
This is SO FANTASTIC!
Thank u!!!
Thank you very much! you're very welcome
Mother Angelica warns our end is near when women turn masculine, men turn feminine, children disrespect parents, parents disrespect their children, neighbor strife to name a few. I’m starting to see a lot of this.
I think marriage is a lovely idea and looks great in a romcom. But the reality is, it's an outdated concept that was always designed for the benefit of the man.
..He gets a free live-in cook, cleaner, sex toy, therapist , errands runner, and personal care giver for his children. Even a gardener if he's really lucky. What does she get out of this arrangement??? She gets to be the family servant that never gets a day off! Gets no thank yous , and can't even get a cup of tea when she's not feeling well. On the other hand, he gets a sniffle, and the world's coming to an end 😂
YAY FOR MARRIAGE 😆😆😆
No thanks
It doesn't have to be that way if you have the right man, but even the good ones do need training. It is true about illness though. When I'm really sick I still have to take care of myself during the day, but he'll cook dinner and clean up after work. Often grumbling about it though. When he's sick I drop everything to take care of his every need. That doesn't feel fair when you're on death's door. I dometimes joke to him when I'm sick that I wish I had a wife to take care of me.
don't be silly. marriage was designed because the division of labor made sense for the survival of the family (men took care of women so women could take care of children). before the discovery of electricity and all the subsequent technologies women couldn't survive without men. some of the amish still live like this, the men do the hunting/fishing/farming/building and the women do the housework and child care (men do the hard labor, women do the soft labor). you are right about marriage being outdated, though, but that's because there's no benefit for men. men still have to provide the house and the food but women have outsourced their role to poor, foreign women (the cooking, cleaning and child rearing).
She gets the guy doing the really dirty, possibly dangerous work, who may fix the plumbing, or whatever breaks in the house, who protects her from burglars, or other ill-intended individuals, etc. It was an arrangement, which worked for millenias. Yes, it was not perfect, but that‘s because people can fail. But the tyrannic, violent husband was the exception, not the rule.
Modern women want the authority of men, but not the responsibilities. They want the upsides a man might enjoy, but not the downsides of manhood. And the more women fight their own nature, which is having children, nurturing them, and have the man provide the more miserable they get. The rise in psych meds show that all to well.
Don‘t try to trick nature, because nature will punish you twice over.
And marriage was a transactional deal it was a money thing
@@_xBrokenxDreamsx_ women also farm, and grew crops
This man is a treasure!! So much wisdom in one interview ❤
Thank you ❤ I always appreciate to listen to John Grey ! Id be happy if John will give his perspective & knowledge for many hours ! As long as it takes for him to do a full tour of the information he is willing to share. Maybe there can be a full many hours of recording & then short videos that can be listened to as a series . 😊
Amen 🙏
😊😊
Dr. John Gray is SO UNDERRATED in our world, especially today. His books and his entire body of work speaks for itself. People need to be open to his work and try it and see how it works for them.💯
He is amazing!!!
Yes🎉❤🎉
My last partner would wriggle out of any little help I ask of him. Either forget or double book or too tired or postpone or not even offer to help.
Many men think that being nice is femenine and submissive.
All of men do this today. They are useless. There is nothing to need from them.
Then stop being so ez....he needs a challenge.
This guy is the goat I can listen to him forever. He is underrated too for the younger gen.
23:10
28:15
38:40 BS men are talking too much about feelings.
23:53
50:00
1:10:15 single women, date men you aren’t turned on to
Free servant, free s3x, free psychotherapist, ALL IN ONE FOR FREE.
This deserves millions of views. Already sent to multiple friends! Thank you
Dr Gray is a genius. He also mentions the technology's negative impact on the men vs pre internet era.
Great interview and content. This deserves more likes and comments so here you go
What a remarkable presentation by John.. he is the best!!! 😊😊😊😊😊😊
Dr Gray should have an exchange with Dr J Peterson on these ideas.😊
Oh wow, that would be good!
Great episode! I've read your relationship books, Dr., and I believe you should publish a revised version.
Both men and women need to have a fluid integration of masculine and feminine energies. Neither should be expected to be predominantly one or the other. And trading one for the other is the opposite of integration. Let’s,start,talking about how to be both, not one or the other.
Well said. Reciprocal exchanges mean we are being present, conscious, and empathetic with one another and giving one another grace.
You’re ahead of the curve with your awareness.
I think intimacy is more important than sex because there is an unnecessary pressure on men to perform! And respect is key. There is no bigger intimacy killer than disrespect. As long as you can be together, no big expectations, things will be relaxed and enjoyable.🤗
You are we quite welcome to your first sentence but respectfully you might consider you are 100% wrong
LOVE that you invited him for this talk!!!
So many gems dropped. This is definitely one to re listen to
55 mins in--- my oh my, I can't talk to a man without them trying to fix stuff for me. Sigh I can slove my own problems. So this goes both ways.
Really glad I listened to this. Great information! Everyone should hear this.
You have to look at the problem. Its men. Why not just do therapy for men who are abusive, because thats what most are like. Look at the sats. Im 52. I have witnessed including myself serious abuse from men, ranging from neglect and emotional to being unalived and SA, Rapd. Counted nearly 100.
Please, if your a therapist, go and talk to men and get their attention to change. There's too many therapist and coaches who target women but we don't need your help because we're alright until a man enters are aura and spaces. Women cannot change the problem, its men on men who have to deal with eachothers BS.
Well said! Most men are evil. I think they are to proud to seek help and think they can deal with things on there own which is definitely not helping them. They don't want to be seen as weak, but they need some serious help because they take it out on women. I love being single.
Great commentary. Haven’t checked in with Grey in decades. I see his knowledge has evolved.
What you are already a fun and joyful woman? Would it be a bad idea to date a fun and joyful man or does it has to be a boring man too? The latter sounds it would drain the energy from the woman ( self-experienced unfortunately).
One of the best talks I’ve seen in a long time. It’s so true, I hate it when I sense my partner getting impatient because I don’t get straight to the point. It’s just natural for me to give a full story. I need to provide context and details and I love it when I am being listened to. If my partner seems genuinely interested it makes me happy which makes me more touchy feely so the chances of him getting lucky is very high.
I love John's wisdom ❤
Women with wisdom know that a man is not a plan. If we women are educated and financially independent then we don't need or necessarily want a man. Also, how many women who have been cheated on, abused, assaulted or r4p3d are looking for more of the same? Dr. Gray seems to miss this point. If a man comes along that is willing to be a true equal partner; a respectful, reliable and trustworthy partner who wants to join a team that is striving in sync for the same goals, then I and many independent women would be open to a relationship. But we are not looking for one - life is full of other things to do.
No there's a ton of us out there. You just reject us immediately bc we're "nice." So yeah no sympathy at all for you women. You have freedom to choose, you always pick wrong and then you complain. Where are all the good men? You mean the mile long list of guys you rejected? Bc those are the men you're saying you want.
Men and women are NOT equal. It's extremely offensive to strong men when women claim this.
Woman want men for traditional things only but not having to do any traditional things them selves, men want women for traditional things and are willing to do all the traditional things that come along with it. Provide, fix car tires, pick you up, protect, pick up after you. Women are not willing to do any of that and on top of that they stop having sex once every need is met because they turn it off. Men cannot turn it off, if we could we would and would stay single like most men are doing now anyway.
This podcast is full of profound truths!
What exactly is it that causes a lot of men to change so drastically after he releases his life force? As a woman it is very confusing. From our perspective we have literally opened ourselves up in the most vulnerable way possible and it it’s important that we still feel connected after “the act”. It may look like being held, having a conversation about how great it was etc.
I think he answered the question when he mentioned about not releasing to stay connected.
Great talk!
We stay connected for awhile! Its hot! 😂😂
@Portia620 Right!!
our hormones change post orgasm. prolactin (milk making hormone) skyrockets, t levels drop and dopamine plummets
The French call it ‘le petit mort’ meaning ‘the little death’. It’s likely hormonal, it’s not intended to be cold or anything, it’s just a clear energy drain. Most men love to hold their partner afterwards though, even at the risk of nodding off.
Amazing content! Thank you 4 the work that you do 😊! Worth subscribing 😉!
I was astonished by the statement in minute 22 that because women also bring income into the family, inflation has occurred. It's as if greed and financial speculation is taken for granted and the economy can only work that way. Financial speculation is the problem and not women's financial independence.
XD
Poor Linda, the way economics works is the law of supply and demand. The labor pool has doubled since the addition to it of women therefore wages have not kept pace with inflated cost of living. 1st wave feminism roots lie in communism, so it is conceivable that the entire movement has been a tool in the war on capitalism, which we do not actually have in USA, so don’t bother going there lol
You seem to believe that speculation is a new thing. It isn't. Get out of camp victim
Female independence is a contributor to higher asset prices and lower wages. Its not the only thing but part of it. TBH Id be ok if women raised the husband and family and only one partner went to work but that really annoys women for the most part.
@@watamutha yes it annoys them because they characteristically cannot grasp economics
Very brilliant and 100% on point.
So, the advice to single women sounds nice, but I'm not sure how well it will work. I have had guys I am not interested feel "used" if I go on dates with guys who like me more than I like him. What if he bonds with me, but I don't bond with him? Is there a # of dates to go on before you are "stringing him along"?
Typically 3 dates is the max, especially if you know you’re not going to ever have sex with him
Its true, as a woman - men ARE the providers
How can I contact him for an interview?! Please help 😢
God Bless You guys
Men (some) seem to have a lot vested in keeping women dependent.
"Keep 'em barefoot and pregnant"
This is incredible
2 commercials in the first 8 minutes.! No matter how much I love to listen to Dr John Grey… that many commercials in that short of time is way too many
This was really good ty!
notes- 2:
41:20 so if you want to know why men are messed up it's not that they couldn't talk about their feelings when they were
children they're messed up because :
their father did not treat their mother with respect and
their mother did not fully appreciate their father
42:24
messages we get from our environment that say are you a success are you not a success (that raise or decrease T)
you could grow up as a little boy if your father didn't feel successful you'll absorb those feelings of an INadequacy inside and when when
42:37
you're feeling like I I failed it will activate those feelings
men only feel bad when they're too far on their
42:54
female side
you can't have negative emotions if you're if
43:00
you're on your male side
43:12
too much then you'll have positive emotions confidence happiness enthusiasm
43:18
if your estrogen becomes too high or your testosterone becomes too low and therefore your estrogen is too high then
43:24
what happens is you procrastinate you don't follow through you get irritated you get annoyed by stuff uh you you get
43:32
mad at your partner ironically see people think the opposite they all think oh angry men or aggressive men or high
43:38
testosterone no
when a man is aggressive or angry his estrogen levels are flaring
43:44
and his testosterone's going down
there's something called aromat taste which causes his testosterone to convert
43:50
into estrogen when he loses confidence you
when men become feminized
44:25
anything that's producing more estrogen and testosterone has a negative effect on men
babies they just bring out they just radiate love
44:51
... so love is estrogen
when a man feels I make a difference if he's confident if he has self-esteem
45:46
testosterone goes up it's just an attitude it's a mindset
45:51
can have that mindset and sit in my room and do nothing and I'll be depressed I have to actually be helping people what
45:57
is the purpose of life for all the suicidal men out there
go out and help somebody find somebody who needs your
46:02
help and help them your mood will go away
it's do something me rather than talk about how feeling I don't my life
46:09
has no purpose I feel sad I feel no not good enough I okay all right a little
46:14
bit of that fine now go do something go help somebody do something where somebody says thank you I'm so glad
46:20
you're in my life
that's why marriage is so so meaningful to men
so meaningful
46:26
all these shallow relationships they just end it's everyone is just knocking you down after
46:32
another after another meaningless sex it destroys a men's whole life force they age you know the
number one heart cause
46:39
of heart disease the biggest killer of men what is it no testosterone
because I keep her
49:12
estrogen levels up now I'm an advanced student in all of this because I've learned how to never release
a woman's love is the reward that you get when you
50:15
self-sacrifice when you do things that you don't even like doing you don't even want to do but if you make her happy you
50:22
want to do it
51:15
when men are more feminine than masculine these are the symptoms they're easily angry they're irritable their
51:21
lack of motivation they get passive they lose sexual interest they pornic they do the self make have sex with themselves
51:28
you know all this addiction to porn all of this is men being on their female side now what is female side remember
51:35
independent is more your masculine side dependent is your female side
we don't want to do
50:28
anything we don't have to do this is a gene inside of men that women don't have
50:33
it's actually we have the giving Gene but it's been overridden by the Y chromosome
whenever you're independent you're making male hormones
52:08
whenever you're dependent you're making female hormones
53:30 i don't need a man to make money what do I need a man for
I need a man for a new kind of emotional support to feel loved
53:37
to feel heard to feel seen to feel helped
you've got 10% of the men who are having women say yes and
22:54
then those men they have so many options that they're never going to settle on one so you've got a lot of men who are
23:00
45 years old who are handsome or have money and they've never made a commitment to love because they can't
23:05
find the masculinity inside of them because it was so easy to get laid they didn't have to work hard at it
ou need to be
1:05:48
making estrogen to attract the right guy and if you're not making enough estrogen you could be pursuing the wrong
1:05:57
guys this is just what happens the when men that you're pursuing are almost always the wrong guys the good guys who
1:06:04
approach you
if you don't have a lot of estrogen they're going to seem boring to you
when your
1:06:24
estrogen is low you want you're attracted to a man who's not available that's it you're attracted
1:06:31
to somebody you have to please
so when a woman's producing more of her male side she's
1:06:54
going to be a attracted to and pursue she'll pursue men who are not available
1:07:00
to her that's just what it is it's not like a man who has anything to give her
1:07:06
see if she's on her female side she's only attracted to men that can give me what I need but she doesn't feel what
1:07:12
she needs which her brain becomes hyper picky hyper judgmental
1:07:17
hypercritical and the only man she's not going to be critical of is the man who's not available to her who basically wants
1:07:24
to use her
man out of work can't do anything to make make money he's going to have the worst
1:08:27
behaviors that's it he's
violent he's depressed his estrogen
Remember Violence aggression only happens when a man is
1:08:33
weak on his male side and his female side is too high
so that's where the
1:08:39
anger comes from and I don't want men to feel bad because they get their angry we're all on our female side today our
1:08:44
culture is De demasculate us uh the I heard I wouldn't
he's only boring because you're boring
1:10:51
because you're not in touch with your feminine side which is happy and joyful and fulfilled your brain is too critical
if you have a challenge being
1:12:10
on your female side you definitely don't want to be in a relationship with a guy for a while who you want to be with
1:12:16
because now you're trying to impress them and you want to make sure they like you and that c causes you to go to your
1:12:22
mail side because you're already on your mail side you stay stuck there so find somebody who wants to please you more
1:12:29
than than you care about pleasing them
the female side always wants to be seen and heard and feel safe and get to know somebody and
1:14:50
then the energy comes from the head to the heart down to the genitals if it's starts at the genitals you're in fantasy
1:14:56
land you're imagining you're not in reality women need reality
a lot of women if I not turned on to him he must
1:15:03
be wrong no get to know a guy
it's
1:21:26
known that if you don't masturbate you'll live longer
if you use fantasy with your penis you're going to learn you'll be become a pre premature ejaculator okay
1:22:30
and and you want to be able to have lasting passion and you want vitality and you want to be having great sex in
1:22:37
your 70s and 80s
don't waste your your life force
1:22:44
energy you have vibrancy you'll have more U Carisma you'll have more power
you instinctively feel shame and feeling bad when you do something that's not good for you your
1:23:10
body tells you it's not good it's not healthy to do that it's just an addiction
but once you start going up and down you get addicted to it just like if you take cocaine you'll you'll be addicted to it
1:23:39
it's a massive dopamine stimulator
Excellent
I’m not lost
I attract wounded men, Last 2 men had great jobs but they both would do small controlling behaviors. I chose to not address it with either because it would cause more control issues. They have zero interest in developing a deeper intelligence emotionally or intentionally either.
Are they all like this, I don’t know it was just so disappointing that at age 55 I let men are doing the same thing they did when they were 20. I need an intellectually stimulated, emotionally intelligent, curious about life man and be attracted to them
Anyone,? Anyone?
Completely agree, with yiu. I’m in my 40s. I I don’t see a difference with the men I meet - even though I try to be very open and vulnerable and express my emotional needs, I only experience men dismissing it and disrespecting it. I actually wrote a post about it on my IG yesterday. But I think it’s because more and more men or less in their masculine and mourn their feminine so they cannot actually be in their healthy, masculine energy
One day my friend called said please recognize me ,but didn’t tell his name,he was shy like a girl ,buti knew who he was,I talked,it was nice talking to him after a long time
Love is a universal law .
It shouldnt need explaining to a human being
It should. Because men and women perceive it differently.
@@kingadatomawell said!!
Thank you, merci 💮🏵️🌻💫🌟
We have both energies , we use each accordingly in the situations we encounter
Eve was made from Adam so by deduction we are the same
😂 Prove it just cause some shit written in a book is not reality. Fairytales
John Gray has a terrific fixed model regarding men and women's roles in a marriage. " Gaining your own independence will increase your testosterone." - Yeah, true, whereas you are assuming that women should never change their dependence on men for survival. I can't agree more that sex is vital in a relationship, but can you really assume the foundational drive (yes, sex to reproduction) and the ultimate meaning of a relationship is based on sex??? Basically, sex drive decodes everything and " polarity" is the pull, true, but what draws two people together is because we are biologically the polarity, and that's all? Doesn't matter whom but who can make you great sex.
Hmm. I don't think he said "that's all"
My motto: Men & women are mutually dependent.
There was always daughters of rich men. Women having another source of money really isn’t new.
I went on John’s website and I do not see any free courses. Most of us don’t have hundreds of dolllars to spend on a course
You invest in what you value
He completely ignored the question about what WOMEN can do for themselves….. “enjoy sex for men” the question isn’t what men want 😒 this is sounding like a red pill podcast
Well it’s pretty simple. What more do you want lol? Sex is a foundational principle that exemplifies a genuine connection between two committed people.
34:15
Its crazy because I've started dating this 21 year old female im 25 male our first date was at her favorite Cafe. She told me that's where she wanted to go
Men don't need to talk about their feelings ? Yes they do.
Yes. With their friends or psychologist.
NOT: with his woman.
It is just anti- viagra for women.
Well I do think that men can talk about their feelings but not to the level that women do. It makes sense that instead they're supposed to be problem-solving or reaching their goals as a way to feel better.
@@TiliaGreen then what do you talk about ? Most girlfriends/wives would prefer them to talk to them. Otherwise u have no idea what your man is going through. These rules are a bit stupid
@@AngeM-e2mThe woman does most of the talking and the man most of the listening and taking action.
I have been through so many worthless men over my lifetime that I don't think that I will ever have my female hormones anymore. I'm so use to being completely independent and doing everything for myself, for so long.. I'm at the point, where I do feel like, why do I need a man for anything at all. They just seem to just only disappoint me and add more problems in my life these days. I'm at the point, where I don't want to bother dating anymore. I'm better off on my own anymore. I don't want to raise and adopt a full grown man anymore. It's just not for me at all.
Hopefully men step up, when that hapens, we will be that Women!
This is the one of the most ridiculous things women say. What if every man says I'm be man and be masculine if women are women enough. Its either you're feminine and woman enough, or you're not. Stop blaming your failures at feminity on men. Trust me, men know how to snatch the truely feminine woman.
Men absolutely step up for a young pretty virgin. Is that you?
6:00 testosterone is the hormone of well-being for men
we need to make 10 to 20 times more in a relationship
=> but testo also makes more aggressive and we need less of that in a marriage
I think there was a baseline social order… during capitalism that served and was served by that system. But history has grown, changed, or progressed, since that system was popular in the West. Or fallen from grace, depending on your position and perspective.
There are no pheromones released by texting though
I'm seeing the statue of our mother Mary ❤❤
It explains why women like a date or a meal out! She's getting into it hopefully before the evening activity!
Tell men you need a help. Most ignore you and those that offer help want sex only or a relationship in return. Easier to approach a charitable organisation. His eyes are half shut.
They search for femminity when they already embody that, they are mesmerizing pretending they aren't this brings a lot of insanity.
I said to my husband I would be happy to leave working but he wants me to work
Don't you know its 2024 and everything is expensive? You want your husband to work himself to death just so you get to stay at home?
Doctor, women do have a sex drive. We actually do need sex and are driven to seek it especially certain times of the month. Even after menopause and during pregnancy many women have increased sex drive. Desire may be inhibited by violence and violent cultural prohibitions and being stuck with a partner they aren’t attracted to. And overburdened with children work and societal demands. Many women function in survival mode. Many who are of means date younger men and/or prioritize their sexual gratification.
my husband is not interested in any of my problems
He doesn’t have to be. That is why one needs friends and buddies and shrink to talk to.
That’s the situation with most husbands. Sadly most men are very selfish
Is this man really a husband, when he isn’t behaviour as one? If he isn’t interested in any of your problems, what is he good for?
@@TiliaGreenwhat? If I couple isn’t there for each other, what is the point to be a partner ?
Depends. Maybe problems just in your head. Also he can have own problems, which you are not interested in at first.
How do you like that ?
We all own responsibility to how we treat our partners. It's obligatory if you are in a relatiknship
33:20 No release. Now I believe he's fine at 70+. 🙂
Beyond mars and Venus isn’t that an old book?
Sex is very important it is a way of communication. Religion places guilt on something that is natural and healthy.
My first time here
Where I live, women are usually the breadwinners, working directly for the govt. or by proxy in schools and health care or social work. Men… might have side hustles. But not profitable or reliably profitable ones. More men stay home here to take care of the kids. And this is Amerixa. I used the X purposely: it’s inverted.
Those are the serfs. The women prefer to stay single even if they live with their children’s father because they get better benefits that way. As unwed mothers. For the family. And that savings allows for health care in their budget for the men.
Those are serfs here.
Other men here are… like… bishops. Not quite kings… but executive managers of hedge funds that sort of thing, trust fund millionaires. They keep wives or families but also keep the motels in business ;o) So some women want that stability but realize they must give up their expectation of exclusivity. And that it comes with the risks of STD’s etc.
People envy those moms in mansions… but feel sorry for them, too.
“Wine moms” comes from here. That sort of thing.
Interesting points, but one thing I don't understand is how being a beta male nice guy provider helps with sex. Because it seems like women falling in love by doing things for him and not vice versa. And thus should make the sandwitch.
Edit: Never mind, explained in 1:06
you know he makes some points but its stinking sarcastic thinking . I already know how people think. And it stinks there is nothing to study. Bad is bad either why you look at it. It does not take a relatonship expert to undersand how terrible people are today . And everyone has issues that are wierd. With all these chemical changes between people the odds of success are severely diminished .
This man in 70 and his wife still has periods. 😮
If she takes hormone replacement, yes.
He’s talking about his second wife if he mentioned a period, whos likely way younger than him. She was his tour guide when he went to China that’s how they met.
1:11:00 take what you can get
Why do I hear guys not want to be with a woman who he needs to support? Like if she doesn’t have a job and her own money - or even if she does have a job but doesn’t have a good amount of money he doesn’t want to be with her. He doesn’t want to provide.
Once a quack, always a quack, starting from his book about mars and venus and 💩.
We can have different opinions but u didn't have to be a jerk about it.
We can have different opinions but u didn't have to be a jerk about it.
What about ace people?
Why isn’t the host’s girlfriend ambitious toward building a family instead of being ambitious toward a career?
Wait did he just say that if men learn self control to the point they can or would pull out before releasing then that keeps marriages together?!? Self control, huh? You don’t say…
What the heck man is going to marry to stop ejaculating?!? I thought that was supposed to be a reward of marriage.
Is Viagra part of the equation for older men?
Ohhh man if that is true I would have passed away long bobs ago! !
❤❤❤❤❤
Having sex without release???? Really strange that’s like eating food then throwing it up, but in the opposite.
Yes, it's called tantric.
It's not goal oriented, it's about connection and it's fabulous. My husband and I have sessions now.
1:10:00
1:11:49 take what you can get 😅(that’s when he low-key lost me😂)
Think Dr. Gray you are fortunate to have a wife.
Tha fact that this man thinks woman in the past were happy and grateful.. he is dilusional
Erm
I've heard him with much clearer thought, less antidotes and more direct answers 😅
Are you married and do you practice what you say?😊