I'm a man here spending 1h 18m to watch entire video for women. What John said is 100% absolutely right about men. For women, learn the info and ideas he shared by heart and apply them to your men. I'll get my gf to watch this video. Thumbs upped and subbed!
Love hearing this coming from a man! Its been a journey for me to be vulnerable, chill out a little and be feminine and not always in miss-independant-I-can-do-it-all mode And I kept complaining why men are intimidated. All this time it was me blocking the whole damn energy lol
It’s crazy. What I’m getting is that you have to ACTUALLY not need men but you have to FIND ways for them to feel needed and present these opportunities to men. Wow.
What a great interview! I have been squarely on my male side for over 20 years. I finally I realized I wanted to open myself to love. It has been a process and listening to interviews like are so helpful. It is a process to bring back my female side and to find balance since I do have a job that requires that requires a lot of independence. Looking forward to watching your other videos.
Thank you! I had three dads. One absent, one present but alcoholic so absent and the third murdered her and stole my inheritance so this is the best being able to hear a man who embodies everything a man should be and I’m super grateful to you. Not so much to the murderer that everyone has zero to say about it. Even the police. ***Hugs*** 🥳💚
Do you think father in the home is important? My husband and I both grew up mom not dad. Dad not present. Both of us agreed for sake of future children to have both parents, No D-word. 35 years ago we met, truly it was love 1st sight. 9 years to figure us out before we married. 8 years until finally starting family. Babies @ 40 26 years married with 3 kids ages 12 - 18yrs. We are ending our marriage after 10 yrs of bad. This video info is painfully realistic how could prevent the years of pain and unhappiness .
Yes! Very informational! I'm grateful! You two have great personalities and cover a large areas. I'll watch every chance I get! Thank you two so much! Lisa
When John speaks, the world listens! Thank you so much John for your untiring effort in sharing your wisdom, thank you so very much Michelle for bringing him on You have such a sweet nature yourself Michelle! God bless you both! 🙏💖
I so appreciate this information shared at an intellectual level rather than via the quick "tips and tricks" approach used by so many other dating coaches and relationship experts. I will remember the 80/20 rule! I will say, however, that it often feels like most of the burden of developing and maintaining a healthy relationship falls on the shoulders of the woman while the man just gets to be "a man'". Seems like women must do most of the intentional work.
Thanks for watching. The great thing is that we as women get more of our needs met when we know how to invite the best in a man, so I see it as a win win! :-)
It's a beautiful thing whenever someone adds to my happiness. I believe that when we expect another to be our happiness we relinquish way to much of our own POWER. Thank you for sharing your knowledge on this topic.
Yes John, you are so right! You two complement so well with your explanations... Thank you so much for your time and generosity sharing all your wisdom open to everybody... I love your books and they have helped me a lot understanding myself and men... Blessings for both of you... You are amazing😊🙏🤗
It's unfortunate that men don't know their relationship is extremely important to them until it's gone. And I find that men don't deal with the loss as well as women do. I guess because they don't know how to process the emotions of loss.
You are correct mr Grey, men don’t care about how much women make or their status, as a man told me once... if a woman cooks more and wears less then she will keep him forever
This is a very thought provoking and insightful video. This has really increased my understanding and has made me eager to learn more. I am glad I found this video! I enjoyed Dr Gray very much. He explains things very well and is easy for me to listen to.
I have been independent for so long that while these things all make sense, it is gonna be a learning experience to get back to this point. It is hard for me to lean on other people, especially men. But I know it will all be worth it. I have just recently started seeing a new man, I will work on these things. Thanks!
Being independent means I don’t depend on a man to feel worth it. I don’t know why women brag that they don’t need a man. They’re lying. We need one another in a way that God intended us to need each other when he created us.
He explained why women say they don’t need a man. It’s because of hurt, being profoundly let down, being betrayed by men, when they needed them. Many who have been cheated on, left with the children, and had to do school, work, make all the finances work..had to learn to NOT need a man. It’s out of that deep wounding, survival, that a woman determines that. It’s similar to many men who say they are going their own way & don’t want or need women...like MGTOW... they deeply want it...but it’s like what John said here, the Aesop’s fable about the Fox, trying to get the grapes, he couldn’t get them, so proclaimed “I didn’t want them anyways” It’s because of deep disappointment and the pain a person is trying to avoid, that they deny things. Attachment theory goes into it more. I feel deep compassion for people in hay space. Remember, we judge that which we fear or don’t understand.
John, you hit something right on the head for me. A man who talks too much and won't listen, but ignores a women, I find very irritating and can't stand being around. An old friend married such a man, and I can't visit them.
@@MichelleMarchantJohnson Thank you. Your content has certainly helped me. I'm over 50 and used to be ignorant about men. Now... I may be getting married to a fantastic man. Pray for our marriage! Love you!
That was so amazing...so many new things I got to learn from this video❤❤...I will try to apply them in my relationships including friendships. I never knew how I was part of the problems.
So pretty much do women have to do all the work to change. Are there any videos where me get some advice on how to relate to women? Or is just make more money and then the women do all the psychological work?
John Grey has made a huge impact on my total life, and living more authenticly in my life as a woman in my 50s, and starting out, maintaining, and growing in a relationship with a really good guy. I'll keep listening. Thanks Michelle, for getting John on and answering questions!
Hello there, this is great! How to be when your boyfriend is going through a rough patch ( Covid drama , loss of job, family and health issues )..how can I make him feel like a man again?
Let him know you believe in him and his ability to work things out, be happy yourself and give him positive feedback to encourage the positive things he does. Men have a need to feel competent. Thanks for watching and take care.
What do I do if I’m not a big talker, I’m a better listener? Sometimes I just don’t have much to say. Will this always cause men to lose attraction to me and put me in the friend zone?
Oh my goodness...yes! I’ve been attracted to the wrong men time after time and all most repelled by the “nice” guy. It wasn’t until Dr Gray mentioned childhood wounds can cause this that I realized the truth. My Dad was unfortunately a violent alcoholic and my parents had a terrible relationship towards the end. It all makes sense now, thank you 🙏
Do you know your attachment style? I would guess fearful avoidant..as the childhood you mention leads to that attachment style. I’m healing from that. I had different dynamics, but definitely early childhood chaos and uncertainty. The Personal Development School is life changing! She has a TH-cam channel too, and I’ve experienced more healing and hope, through finding out things about myself, and how to heal! We develop core wounds, through subconscious programming, conditioning, that happens..and as a result we take those narratives on. We tend to have negative internal dialogues that reflect those core wounds. We often attract people who reaffirm, and reflect, those core wounds back. Until we do the deep work, we often miss it. What feels “familiar” we often mistake for chemistry, or it feeling right. Often it’s only our nervous system lighting up, saying in essence, “I recognize that” “I know that”...and erroneously thinks that’s what we want. When we aren’t taught any different, we don’t know how to get the love, cherishing we deeply want...we go back to what we think we deserve. Often it’s very subconscious. You can learn to reparent yourself. It sounds weird, but it’s a legit concept :) I’m working on it, and healing. I wish you healing, peace, joy, and connectedness to yourself and others 💫💛
You mean to tell me I will either never be sexually turned on by a partner or never truly loved? (I’m the kind with the issue of being attracted to the kinds that don’t love me/aren’t available)
That's not my interpretation of what John said. He just means if you have a pattern of overemphasizing chemistry you have to be careful because chemistry does not necessarily indicate compatibility.
If we are attracted to people who don’t love us, aren’t available... that gives us important information about how we treat ourselves and that we have deep core wounds that need healing. I too attracted mostly dismissive avoidant men (and also in friendships). I’m a healing fearful avoidant. This was revolutionary to me. Identifying the “why” and how to change it has changed my life. When we have trauma or neglect in childhood, our nervous systems are “trained”...they light up when we see something familiar, healthy or not. The Personal Development School TH-cam channel helped me more than any other therapist! I have a long ways to go, but am reprogramming my subconscious patterns, and changing my narratives...feeling more empowered than before. Not ready to date, at all. I’m just healing relationship to my self. Two books that might help too are ‘Come as you are’ and ‘Having Sex, wanting intimacy: why women settle for one sided relationships’. They also changed my life, views. I wish you well 💫
I am a traditional woman of faith, too, and am waiting for marriage, too. Here is to keeping hope alive that God will give us the right man who respects this standard and if he has it also for his own life; that is even better. 🙏🙏🙏
Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/ & FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) HERE: whatrealmenwant.com/
Thank you Michelle, I love John (and you too)! Great tips and explanations on relationships. I especially like the male perspective, it was great to hear how to help with "training" and being excited to set your guy up for success.
Curious, does anyone know if you need to read the original book before reading the newer Beyond? Just wondering where to start, this is all very fascinating. Thanks!
There's this man that I believe is a great guy and God sent, he has encouraged me soooo much in my career, but the issue here is I have not met him physically. As for being nice and good, he is really a husband material. But I don't know him, and I've not seen him in person. I on the other side does not know how to express my gratitude to someone whom I've not met in person.
Show and speak your appreciation for it. And also acknowledge your appreciation for anything you else even if it's off the topic...it's the same vibration and it will be revealed to you. Check out Abraham Hicks.
It was just an example of doing something sweet for your partner. My main love language is WOA and my last act of service but I will still be able to appreciate it
Thanks for watching. Bringing flowers was just an example and many women are moved into the feminine by the beauty and the smell of flowers even if receiving gifts is not their love language.
When can a woman know she is in a relationship with a man? Is it when they meet face to face? Or is it when the relationship is in a ghost stage? I really would like to know. In other words how can a woman be involved deeply and truthfully in an invisible relationship?
An “invisible relationship” isn’t a relationship, Too often women will assume a relationship exists, where one doesn’t. You have to ask. State your needs, boundaries, clearly and empowered. Either he can respond, or not! If it matches what you’re looking for, fine...if not, move on. Communication is imperative in relationships. If you don’t even have that door accessed...there’s no way anything else can happen.
It's sad that when I feel my vulnerability and put my needs across nicely and my needs gets pushed away often times. I mean Im just asking to spend some quality time together . ..how to trust men if these have always been the kind of men ive dated in my past... Still im asking and giving them plenty of opportunities to make me happy .. but im fed up and feel shitty. Yes i feel lonely but there comes a point when it feels like better to be alone than to have my worth trampled upon.
I have a question about a married man pursuing a single woman. I have been recently approached by an old boyfriend who was becoming abusive 40 years ago! He has now found me and wants to have an affair and I've done nothing to encourage it. You say if you don't trust a man he'll leave and this dude won't. Why do some men always seem to "want and pursue" someone that doesn't want, need or even like them not to mention, he's married!
Thanks for watching Annette. From my perspective, the more important question than why a man would do this is for you to ask yourself what is right and best for you to do in this situation. You then make your decisions based on what is wise for you rather than based on what he is doing. Thanks for watching and good luck too.
Wounding. They are wounded, unhealthy. A man has to get the message as well. Have you been forthright about your boundaries... iex , something like, “you are married, I don’t want to be with you.” “You were abusive, it’s not safe to be with you” “Leave me alone” . Then block him. You allow other, or you don’t. Most of the time. If you’ve given confusing feedback, a man doesn’t get the message. Own your message, advocate for you. Demand better for yourself. If you had childhood trauma or neglect, that’s a huge factor. Attachment theory explains this. You can heal.
Sounds very toxic and unloving. I hope you can speak with a therapist who can help you. The Personal Development School is a great channel and Therapy in a Nutshell, for the meanwhile. You deserve kindness, love and acceptance...starting with relationship to self.
You must not have heard him say it's natural for older women to have less estrogen, but they still have enough to experience normal health loving emotions
Our hormones can cause all kinds of crazy tricks on us yet John does say women in menopause, etc. can still have loving relationships. Thanks for watching Cathy!
Omg so strange lately I've been so depleted in my relationships and I've felt ashamed of having need or presenting them or needing help at all. It's put me into a space that I don't like at all, and I feel not like a woman. I've met someone and I've wanted him to close the gap so desperately 1.)Because what I see from him moves me very much, but 2.) I know I'm at my best being taken care of by a man and I know my levels will balance as well receiving his love for a long time. I feel I'm going back and forth inside from wanting to manipulate and also sort of giving up on him too! He moves slow. I know he sees me valuable bc of this. But I have such a need for a man in my life right now! In real ways. My body is changing, it's becoming less soft, my thoughts are getting awful about myself, I'm sick often, my hair falls out a lot from stress and lack of perceived love. I don't know how to present myself to him in the real possibility that he'll come close the gap a bit more. I'm at my best surrounded by love and protected by it
What should I do if he complains I’m too needy? He says he loves me, he says and acts like he’s sexually attracted. I’m quite feminine and comfortable allowing him to provide and do things for me because it does make me feel loved, but now he complains I’m needy, too emotional, and now he’s angry because he’s overworked.
Go take a trip- put space between you - this is not attractive to a man- give him the space to be a man with the boys..go dancing with your girls! Do feminine things
Look into attachment styles. Dismissive avoidant people label needs as “needy” often. Has to do with when they were children, their needs were often dismissed, ignored. What we didn’t receive, we don’t give (or at least not well, at all). The Personal Development School has great info on attachment styles and relationships. Hope you can find the validation, acceptance and love for yourself...and then you’ll attract others who will reflect that back. Blessings 💫
I like your books so much but as doctor myself can’t watch such long videos while it is really interesting to see😒(no time in break) can we have some shorter formats?! Thanks
My new boyfriend alway asks if i stay sleeping by him the night after our dates, although i do it every week it seems it's never enough for him and im sleep depraved cause im insomniac and need to stay at home a lot, i m not feeling very good with this, what would be your advices? Plus i really need to go back to my life and an entire week by myself feels good to me but he wants to see me 2 days a week and i cant follow the rythm, already tried to talk to him but we had conflicts about it, he works a lot to have money to plan to live together and i dont want to dishearten
You need to set your boundaries hun ❤️ you gotta put yourself first. What you wrote sounds very similar to my experience and myself. He’s got to respect your need for space, don’t let him make demands. That’s very feminine of him to do so. If you are out of alignment with yourself and needs and wants, you will be in the relationship and there will be continuous conflicts. Have a nice chat with him, tell him how you feel and come to a compromise. Hope you don’t mind my 2 cents here, just pulled at my heart ❤️ much love to you x
@@cosmospray 100% agree with amy above.. boundaries! Everything in your comment says all the ways you’re trying to please him...but it goes against YOU & what you want! That’s self rejection. That’s how we treat others to treat us. If we don’t value ourselves enough to advocate for our needs and boundaries...neither will others. The Personal Development School has changed my life, when I realized I was a fearful avoidant...my core wounds and WHY I attracted (and was attracted to) the guys I had been with. Revolutionary. She has a TH-cam channel, that’s where I started. Find out your attachment style. Check out some of her videos on boundaries. Hope you connect to, and love and accept YOU 💛💫
@@Alphacentauri819 thank you for your advice! I sat my bundaries firmly again, and again, and more and more firmly but he wouldn't hear me and we had continuous conflicts and endless conversations, he sometimes accepted compromises because he was too afraid to loose me but he came back to his old habits everytime, i left him, tired of being guilt triped and blackmailed. You are totally right, and I already follow the attachement style community and it helps me to accept my wounds and vulnerability (the work isn't finished). Thank you very much 🙏🏻🤍
@@jamesjacobs3675 maybe ‘come as you are’ would be a great next book. The best book on female sexuality (and the men who have read it, said they had no idea...minds blown), I’ve read...and I’ve been in medicine for decades.
Following his guidelines how do I ask my bf why he still has a dating profile? I don’t want to complain or control or push him away. I’m left ignoring it until I know how to bring it up.
Check out The Personal Development School. TH-cam channel too. She has videos and courses... You need to communicate your needs and boundaries. Clearly, advocating for you. No drama, just confidence. You can say something like “it’s my understanding that we are exclusive, is that your understanding too?” SO many women assume they are exclusive, yet have never communicated about it. Get that out of the way... then, state “I need to know that you are committed to this relationship.” Define what commitment means to YOU. Not everyone defines things the same. “I can’t be in relationship with someone who is committed at a different level” “Seeing the dating profile, sends me a message you’re not committed in the way I need”. Then, depending on what he’s willing to do to show up..or not...you have your answer. Maybe he’s not your guy. Do you know your attachment style? When that’s healed, we attract better partners. We see our incredible value and then others do too.
What if one doesn't connect with the men who is pursuing u and you tried connecting with him but it wasn't happening? Still does dis stand worth to mingle with this guy?
@@MichelleMarchantJohnson thanks for the reply...this gives rise to another thing: what if girl's basic needs are not meeting eg: optimum salary package to take care of his family,addiction to beverages,etc. And due to which enough attraction is not building up and bcoz this guy has few weaker sides and hence he is persuing the girl. In such case also should girl still keep dating him or leave it at earlier stage to not waste his time as well
Maybe The Personal Development School can help? She has a TH-cam channel. I found out my attachment style and why I attracted the people I do. It helps with communication, and SO much more. It’s changed my life. At least you’ll have tools to state your needs and boundaries, advocate for yourself. Also, there are other great resources for betrayed spouses. That topic specifically. I hope you experience healing and peace
I'm a man here spending 1h 18m to watch entire video for women. What John said is 100% absolutely right about men. For women, learn the info and ideas he shared by heart and apply them to your men. I'll get my gf to watch this video. Thumbs upped and subbed!
Thank you for watching and for your comments too! Much appreciated!
Love hearing this coming from a man! Its been a journey for me to be vulnerable, chill out a little and be feminine and not always in miss-independant-I-can-do-it-all mode
And I kept complaining why men are intimidated. All this time it was me blocking the whole damn energy lol
We need more men like you. We all need to educate ourselves on healthy relationships.
I often times listen to talk for men to help understand them. I think it's great you're here. It will help improve your relationship.
R’f
Honestly this is one of the best interviews with John Gray I have found so far. Thank you so much!
Thanks for watching and for your comments too!
It’s crazy. What I’m getting is that you have to ACTUALLY not need men but you have to FIND ways for them to feel needed and present these opportunities to men. Wow.
"They show you who they become when they are out of balance"
What a nurturing interview 👏
It's so refreshing to hear a conversation where man are men and women are women.
Thank you.b
Thanks for watching and for your comments too Silvia!
What a great interview! I have been squarely on my male side for over 20 years. I finally I realized I wanted to open myself to love. It has been a process and listening to interviews like are so helpful. It is a process to bring back my female side and to find balance since I do have a job that requires that requires a lot of independence. Looking forward to watching your other videos.
Thanks for watching and for your comments too!
Best tip, how to "train" a man @ 24:34 - use positive reinforcement!
Thanks for watching and for your comment Katherine!
Thank you! I had three dads. One absent, one present but alcoholic so absent and the third murdered her and stole my inheritance so this is the best being able to hear a man who embodies everything a man should be and I’m super grateful to you. Not so much to the murderer that everyone has zero to say about it. Even the police. ***Hugs*** 🥳💚
Do you think father in the home is important?
My husband and I both grew up mom not dad.
Dad not present. Both of us agreed for sake of future children to have both parents, No D-word.
35 years ago we met, truly it was love 1st sight.
9 years to figure us out before we married.
8 years until finally starting family. Babies @ 40
26 years married with 3 kids ages 12 - 18yrs.
We are ending our marriage after 10 yrs of bad.
This video info is painfully realistic how could prevent the years of pain and unhappiness .
This is very true. I learned and grew as a person, a woman so much from this interview. Thank you so much!
You're so welcome Penny! Thanks for watching and for your comments too!
John touches so many crucial points here to better understand man/woman.
Thanks for watching and for your comments too!
Yes! Very informational! I'm grateful! You two have great personalities and cover a large areas. I'll watch every chance I get! Thank you two so much! Lisa
Thanks so much, Lisa. We will keep it up.
This is the best video I have watched. I have learned so much
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching and for your comments too June!
When John speaks, the world listens! Thank you so much John for your untiring effort in sharing your wisdom, thank you so very much Michelle for bringing him on You have such a sweet nature yourself Michelle! God bless you both! 🙏💖
Wow, thank you Jolie! Thanks for watching and for your kind comments too!
I so appreciate this information shared at an intellectual level rather than via the quick "tips and tricks" approach used by so many other dating coaches and relationship experts. I will remember the 80/20 rule! I will say, however, that it often feels like most of the burden of developing and maintaining a healthy relationship falls on the shoulders of the woman while the man just gets to be "a man'". Seems like women must do most of the intentional work.
Thanks for watching. The great thing is that we as women get more of our needs met when we know how to invite the best in a man, so I see it as a win win! :-)
They are discovering that lots of "warriors" and "hunters" were, in fact, women. I'm rational, my boyfriend"s more sensitive.
@@MichelleMarchantJohnson u
precious! thank you John and Michelle! i will subscribe and take the course
Welcome! Thanks for watching and for your comment too!
It's a beautiful thing whenever someone adds to my happiness. I believe that when we expect another to be our happiness we relinquish way to much of our own POWER.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge on this topic.
Thanks for watching and for comments!
Yes John, you are so right! You two complement so well with your explanations... Thank you so much for your time and generosity sharing all your wisdom open to everybody... I love your books and they have helped me a lot understanding myself and men... Blessings for both of you... You are amazing😊🙏🤗
It's unfortunate that men don't know their relationship is extremely important to them until it's gone. And I find that men don't deal with the loss as well as women do. I guess because they don't know how to process the emotions of loss.
You are correct mr Grey, men don’t care about how much women make or their status, as a man told me once... if a woman cooks more and wears less then she will keep him forever
John Gray is my favorite relationship expert, you two have great advise with your interviews! Thank you Michelle! ❤
I love this!!! Super insightful!! ❤
This is a very thought provoking and insightful video. This has really increased my understanding and has made me eager to learn more. I am glad I found this video! I enjoyed Dr Gray very much. He explains things very well and is easy for me to listen to.
Glad it was helpful Donna! Thanks for watching!
John literally explained my entire life to me especially with recieving flowers example.
That's wonderful Devon. Thanks for watching!
Thank you for this content. I highly appreciate you.
Thanks for watching!
I have been independent for so long that while these things all make sense, it is gonna be a learning experience to get back to this point. It is hard for me to lean on other people, especially men. But I know it will all be worth it. I have just recently started seeing a new man, I will work on these things. Thanks!
You're not alone! Many women feel this way! Good luck to you Lorenda and thank you so much for watching!
Is it OK to be there for a man (doing, rather than receiving) if he is in an emotional crisis?
What a great, informative video. Such a great help on my way to happiness x
Thank you for watching and for your kind comments too Lenka!
This is so valuable. Thank you xx
Thanks for watching and for your comment Caroll! Take good care!
I have enjoyed all that I have heard today . Learned a lot . Thanks for having John on . 😊
Jg is such a genius! & Michelle is beautiful! Love, love ,love these videos !
Thank you so much!! We appreciate you watching and your comment too!
John, I really like this vedio. I'm so grateful to you for sharing it with all of us. More power to you!
Being independent means I don’t depend on a man to feel worth it. I don’t know why women brag that they don’t need a man. They’re lying. We need one another in a way that God intended us to need each other when he created us.
He explained why women say they don’t need a man. It’s because of hurt, being profoundly let down, being betrayed by men, when they needed them.
Many who have been cheated on, left with the children, and had to do school, work, make all the finances work..had to learn to NOT need a man. It’s out of that deep wounding, survival, that a woman determines that.
It’s similar to many men who say they are going their own way & don’t want or need women...like MGTOW... they deeply want it...but it’s like what John said here, the Aesop’s fable about the Fox, trying to get the grapes, he couldn’t get them, so proclaimed “I didn’t want them anyways”
It’s because of deep disappointment and the pain a person is trying to avoid, that they deny things.
Attachment theory goes into it more.
I feel deep compassion for people in hay space.
Remember, we judge that which we fear or don’t understand.
John, you hit something right on the head for me. A man who talks too much and won't listen, but ignores a women, I find very irritating and can't stand being around. An old friend married such a man, and I can't visit them.
Thanks for watching and for your comments too Sara!
I agree with John, Michelle is a great, kind interviewer and really brings out the best in John Gray. Thank you for this 🙏
So what does a woman do if she does not have support and safety in her life that makes her feel all that female energy to put out?
This was so informative and enjoyable to watch! The intro was a little long but well worth the wait 💞👍🏼
Glad you liked it!!
Watching this in 2024 and learning so much , absolutely amazing 🤩
We are not animals. The Bible says we are created in God's image. Love you John! Love you Michelle!
I agree Dani and I think John really meant we have some similar instincts as animals, even though that is not quite how he said it! :-)
@@MichelleMarchantJohnson Thank you. Your content has certainly helped me. I'm over 50 and used to be ignorant about men. Now... I may be getting married to a fantastic man. Pray for our marriage! Love you!
@@danilaroche1156 That is wonderful news to hear! I pray things will go beautifully for you! Thanks for watching and for your kind words too! xo
I learned so many things from this interview. Thank you, Michelle and Mr. Gray!👍🏻💗😁
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for watching and for your comments too June!
That was so amazing...so many new things I got to learn from this video❤❤...I will try to apply them in my relationships including friendships. I never knew how I was part of the problems.
Thanks for watching! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Amazing ❤️❤️❤️ Michelle you are such a sincere person! You make me feel trust you. Your tone of voice. Thank you 🙏🏻
Thank you so much for your kind words and for watching too!
So pretty much do women have to do all the work to change. Are there any videos where me get some advice on how to relate to women? Or is just make more money and then the women do all the psychological work?
Thanks for this video
Thanks for watching!
John Grey has made a huge impact on my total life, and living more authenticly in my life as a woman in my 50s, and starting out, maintaining, and growing in a relationship with a really good guy. I'll keep listening. Thanks Michelle, for getting John on and answering questions!
Thanks so much for watching and for your comment too! Glad you are enjoying the interviews with John!
Hi, thank you for your expert findings.
Thank you for watching and for your comments too!
You're still a Gem. Love it
Thanks for watching!
Its interesting about finding a guy that you are not sexually attracted to. It makes so much sense.
Thanks for watching Navi!
I didn't expect that at all!
Thanks so much for watching and good luck with finding your guy!
A lot of wonderful insight! Thank you two very much
Thanks for watching Brett and for your comments too!
Great interview and insights! Thank you!!!
Glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you John, this is excellent. Michelle you always look so beautiful.
wheren are those men with the skills that know how to love us?
John has entire books and a body of work to teach men, but this channel is for women. Thanks for watching Eliz!
I wish parents and school would teach people these
Me too Becca!
Thanks. Michelle and John Gray. For this important tips. About understand better men.
Thanks, Milagro. Glad you enjoyed it.
Hello there, this is great! How to be when your boyfriend is going through a rough patch ( Covid drama , loss of job, family and health issues )..how can I make him feel like a man again?
Dan bacon?
Let him know you believe in him and his ability to work things out, be happy yourself and give him positive feedback to encourage the positive things he does. Men have a need to feel competent. Thanks for watching and take care.
What do I do if I’m not a big talker, I’m a better listener? Sometimes I just don’t have much to say. Will this always cause men to lose attraction to me and put me in the friend zone?
Oh my goodness...yes! I’ve been attracted to the wrong men time after time and all most repelled by the “nice” guy. It wasn’t until Dr Gray mentioned childhood wounds can cause this that I realized the truth. My Dad was unfortunately a violent alcoholic and my parents had a terrible relationship towards the end. It all makes sense now, thank you 🙏
thanks for watching and for sharing your comments too Vanessa!
Do you know your attachment style? I would guess fearful avoidant..as the childhood you mention leads to that attachment style.
I’m healing from that. I had different dynamics, but definitely early childhood chaos and uncertainty.
The Personal Development School is life changing! She has a TH-cam channel too, and I’ve experienced more healing and hope, through finding out things about myself, and how to heal!
We develop core wounds, through subconscious programming, conditioning, that happens..and as a result we take those narratives on. We tend to have negative internal dialogues that reflect those core wounds. We often attract people who reaffirm, and reflect, those core wounds back. Until we do the deep work, we often miss it.
What feels “familiar” we often mistake for chemistry, or it feeling right. Often it’s only our nervous system lighting up, saying in essence, “I recognize that” “I know that”...and erroneously thinks that’s what we want.
When we aren’t taught any different, we don’t know how to get the love, cherishing we deeply want...we go back to what we think we deserve. Often it’s very subconscious.
You can learn to reparent yourself. It sounds weird, but it’s a legit concept :)
I’m working on it, and healing.
I wish you healing, peace, joy, and connectedness to yourself and others 💫💛
Thank you so much love advice
Thanks for watching and for your comment too Hoili!
You mean to tell me I will either never be sexually turned on by a partner or never truly loved? (I’m the kind with the issue of being attracted to the kinds that don’t love me/aren’t available)
That's not my interpretation of what John said. He just means if you have a pattern of overemphasizing chemistry you have to be careful because chemistry does not necessarily indicate compatibility.
If we are attracted to people who don’t love us, aren’t available... that gives us important information about how we treat ourselves and that we have deep core wounds that need healing.
I too attracted mostly dismissive avoidant men (and also in friendships).
I’m a healing fearful avoidant. This was revolutionary to me. Identifying the “why” and how to change it has changed my life.
When we have trauma or neglect in childhood, our nervous systems are “trained”...they light up when we see something familiar, healthy or not.
The Personal Development School TH-cam channel helped me more than any other therapist!
I have a long ways to go, but am reprogramming my subconscious patterns, and changing my narratives...feeling more empowered than before.
Not ready to date, at all. I’m just healing relationship to my self.
Two books that might help too are ‘Come as you are’ and ‘Having Sex, wanting intimacy: why women settle for one sided relationships’. They also changed my life, views.
I wish you well 💫
How and when do I say I'm a traditional Catholic woman and it's important to me to wait for sex until marriage...
I am a traditional woman of faith, too, and am waiting for marriage, too. Here is to keeping hope alive that God will give us the right man who respects this standard and if he has it also for his own life; that is even better. 🙏🙏🙏
@@JM-yf5rt Amen my sister in Christ! 🙏🙏🙏
I saw the thumbnail like... this is not John Gray.. so I clicked thinking maybe he’s in the live video... took me a minute to catch my sense. 🤦🏾♀️
Thanks for watching Kam!
Michelle Marchant Johnson Good times.
The wisdom in these videos
Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/
& FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) HERE: whatrealmenwant.com/
The best 9 years of meditation and self observation ..ever invested .
Wow
Wish all did that!
Probably we women would just need 3😆
Thank you Michelle, I love John (and you too)! Great tips and explanations on relationships. I especially like the male perspective, it was great to hear how to help with "training" and being excited to set your guy up for success.
Thank you for watching and for the kind words Liz!
Curious, does anyone know if you need to read the original book before reading the newer Beyond? Just wondering where to start, this is all very fascinating. Thanks!
Hi Diana and thanks for watching! Reading the original book would be a great place to start and I would suggest you read that first. Take care!
I Love You John Gray! You are soooooo Smart... Thank you♥️
I really enjoyed this interview with John Gray! John is right too Michelle. You have a great interview style. Thank you for this content!
Thanks so much for watching and for your kind words too! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
There's this man that I believe is a great guy and God sent, he has encouraged me soooo much in my career, but the issue here is I have not met him physically. As for being nice and good, he is really a husband material. But I don't know him, and I've not seen him in person. I on the other side does not know how to express my gratitude to someone whom I've not met in person.
Show and speak your appreciation for it. And also acknowledge your appreciation for anything you else even if it's off the topic...it's the same vibration and it will be revealed to you. Check out Abraham Hicks.
❤
Verbally!!
I appreciate verbal gratitude above all else.
What is your love language? What is theirs?
Do they want a relationship?
Actually, if my love language is not 'gifts,' bringing me flowers will do nothing for me, high estrogen or not.
It was just an example of doing something sweet for your partner.
My main love language is WOA and my last act of service but I will still be able to appreciate it
Thanks for watching. Bringing flowers was just an example and many women are moved into the feminine by the beauty and the smell of flowers even if receiving gifts is not their love language.
So you’re saying you wouldn’t appreciate flowers from your man? Lame...
It's a LOVE FEST with stellar learning!! THANK YOU Michelle and John!
Thanks so much for watching Lauri and for your kind words too!
Thank you, John.
Thanks for listening Tiffany!
When can a woman know she is in a relationship with a man? Is it when they meet face to face? Or is it when the relationship is in a ghost stage? I really would like to know. In other words how can a woman be involved deeply and truthfully in an invisible relationship?
just ask
When he asks you to be his girlfriend or tells you he wants you to be his girlfriend
He proposes
An “invisible relationship” isn’t a relationship,
Too often women will assume a relationship exists, where one doesn’t.
You have to ask. State your needs, boundaries, clearly and empowered. Either he can respond, or not! If it matches what you’re looking for, fine...if not, move on.
Communication is imperative in relationships. If you don’t even have that door accessed...there’s no way anything else can happen.
What is the Facebook name? I can’t find it
John Gray Mars Venus. Thanks for watching!
It's sad that when I feel my vulnerability and put my needs across nicely and my needs gets pushed away often times. I mean Im just asking to spend some quality time together . ..how to trust men if these have always been the kind of men ive dated in my past... Still im asking and giving them plenty of opportunities to make me happy .. but im fed up and feel shitty. Yes i feel lonely but there comes a point when it feels like better to be alone than to have my worth trampled upon.
I have a question about a married man pursuing a single woman. I have been recently approached by an old boyfriend who was becoming abusive 40 years ago! He has now found me and wants to have an affair and I've done nothing to encourage it. You say if you don't trust a man he'll leave and this dude won't. Why do some men always seem to "want and pursue" someone that doesn't want, need or even like them not to mention, he's married!
Thanks for watching Annette. From my perspective, the more important question than why a man would do this is for you to ask yourself what is right and best for you to do in this situation. You then make your decisions based on what is wise for you rather than based on what he is doing. Thanks for watching and good luck too.
Wounding. They are wounded, unhealthy. A man has to get the message as well.
Have you been forthright about your boundaries... iex , something like, “you are married, I don’t want to be with you.”
“You were abusive, it’s not safe to be with you”
“Leave me alone” .
Then block him.
You allow other, or you don’t. Most of the time.
If you’ve given confusing feedback, a man doesn’t get the message.
Own your message, advocate for you. Demand better for yourself.
If you had childhood trauma or neglect, that’s a huge factor. Attachment theory explains this. You can heal.
I love the advice John gives
Thanks for watching and for your comment too Lovely Lilly! :-)
My husband wouldnt do that hed be like why didnt you do it anrily shout and if reallybunlikely if he does amything he will do it in anger.
That sounds painful Jeannette. I hope things improve in your relationship. Thanks for watching.
Sounds very toxic and unloving.
I hope you can speak with a therapist who can help you.
The Personal Development School is a great channel and Therapy in a Nutshell, for the meanwhile.
You deserve kindness, love and acceptance...starting with relationship to self.
What was some of the things he shared to increase estrogen?
John's books go in great detail on this. There is also info on his website too!
I know very many women who have low estrogen, menopause, and they are sensitive and loving, i dont know about this whole estrogen thing!!
You must not have heard him say it's natural for older women to have less estrogen, but they still have enough to experience normal health loving emotions
Our hormones can cause all kinds of crazy tricks on us yet John does say women in menopause, etc. can still have loving relationships. Thanks for watching Cathy!
17:29
Omg so strange lately I've been so depleted in my relationships and I've felt ashamed of having need or presenting them or needing help at all. It's put me into a space that I don't like at all, and I feel not like a woman. I've met someone and I've wanted him to close the gap so desperately 1.)Because what I see from him moves me very much, but 2.) I know I'm at my best being taken care of by a man and I know my levels will balance as well receiving his love for a long time. I feel I'm going back and forth inside from wanting to manipulate and also sort of giving up on him too! He moves slow. I know he sees me valuable bc of this. But I have such a need for a man in my life right now! In real ways. My body is changing, it's becoming less soft, my thoughts are getting awful about myself, I'm sick often, my hair falls out a lot from stress and lack of perceived love. I don't know how to present myself to him in the real possibility that he'll come close the gap a bit more. I'm at my best surrounded by love and protected by it
What should I do if he complains I’m too needy? He says he loves me, he says and acts like he’s sexually attracted. I’m quite feminine and comfortable allowing him to provide and do things for me because it does make me feel loved, but now he complains I’m needy, too emotional, and now he’s angry because he’s overworked.
Go take a trip- put space between you - this is not attractive to a man- give him the space to be a man with the boys..go dancing with your girls! Do feminine things
Look into attachment styles. Dismissive avoidant people label needs as “needy” often. Has to do with when they were children, their needs were often dismissed, ignored. What we didn’t receive, we don’t give (or at least not well, at all).
The Personal Development School has great info on attachment styles and relationships.
Hope you can find the validation, acceptance and love for yourself...and then you’ll attract others who will reflect that back.
Blessings 💫
Find ways to make men feel needed
Men and women strong deeper language love together with the everlasting love
Thanks for watching Hoili!
Thank you
You're welcome Nedra! Thanks for watching!
I like your books so much but as doctor myself can’t watch such long videos while it is really interesting to see😒(no time in break) can we have some shorter formats?! Thanks
There are many, many shorter clips on my channel Nassime. Some people like the full interview and then we also do clips. Take care!
Thanks for sharing yes Women all the rime positive mind
My new boyfriend alway asks if i stay sleeping by him the night after our dates, although i do it every week it seems it's never enough for him and im sleep depraved cause im insomniac and need to stay at home a lot, i m not feeling very good with this, what would be your advices? Plus i really need to go back to my life and an entire week by myself feels good to me but he wants to see me 2 days a week and i cant follow the rythm, already tried to talk to him but we had conflicts about it, he works a lot to have money to plan to live together and i dont want to dishearten
You need to set your boundaries hun ❤️ you gotta put yourself first. What you wrote sounds very similar to my experience and myself. He’s got to respect your need for space, don’t let him make demands. That’s very feminine of him to do so. If you are out of alignment with yourself and needs and wants, you will be in the relationship and there will be continuous conflicts. Have a nice chat with him, tell him how you feel and come to a compromise. Hope you don’t mind my 2 cents here, just pulled at my heart ❤️ much love to you x
@@amyedits_ thank you 🙏🏻 for your advice, I am going to have a big tchat with him, again, and set my boundaries firmly
@@cosmospray 100% agree with amy above.. boundaries!
Everything in your comment says all the ways you’re trying to please him...but it goes against YOU & what you want! That’s self rejection. That’s how we treat others to treat us. If we don’t value ourselves enough to advocate for our needs and boundaries...neither will others.
The Personal Development School has changed my life, when I realized I was a fearful avoidant...my core wounds and WHY I attracted (and was attracted to) the guys I had been with.
Revolutionary.
She has a TH-cam channel, that’s where I started. Find out your attachment style. Check out some of her videos on boundaries.
Hope you connect to, and love and accept YOU 💛💫
@@Alphacentauri819 thank you for your advice! I sat my bundaries firmly again, and again, and more and more firmly but he wouldn't hear me and we had continuous conflicts and endless conversations, he sometimes accepted compromises because he was too afraid to loose me but he came back to his old habits everytime, i left him, tired of being guilt triped and blackmailed. You are totally right, and I already follow the attachement style community and it helps me to accept my wounds and vulnerability (the work isn't finished). Thank you very much 🙏🏻🤍
@@cosmospray 💛💫
Thank yoou Michelle. Thank you Dr John. This is so good! So grateful for the teaching.
Glad you enjoyed it! thanks for watching and for leaving a comment too Jean!
So much wisdom 🤍🙏🏼
He has a Facebook Live? Woohoo!
JG needs to fix his hair. I loved the Mars Venus chapter “The Quickie.” It kept us together!
So many women don’t understand that sexual accessibility equals sexual relationship balance.
Didn't know sex is that important to men tbh
Glad his book helped you James. Thanks for watching.
@@jamesjacobs3675 too many men don’t realize that emotional intelligence, and availability...= greater interest (and pleasure) in sex for a woman.
@@jamesjacobs3675 maybe ‘come as you are’ would be a great next book. The best book on female sexuality (and the men who have read it, said they had no idea...minds blown), I’ve read...and I’ve been in medicine for decades.
Following his guidelines how do I ask my bf why he still has a dating profile? I don’t want to complain or control or push him away. I’m left ignoring it until I know how to bring it up.
He shouldn't have a dating profile up if he's with you😞 Period.
Ask yourself "Is he worth my investment in him if all he is doing is testing all the waters" ?
Check out The Personal Development School. TH-cam channel too.
She has videos and courses...
You need to communicate your needs and boundaries. Clearly, advocating for you. No drama, just confidence.
You can say something like “it’s my understanding that we are exclusive, is that your understanding too?” SO many women assume they are exclusive, yet have never communicated about it. Get that out of the way...
then, state “I need to know that you are committed to this relationship.” Define what commitment means to YOU. Not everyone defines things the same. “I can’t be in relationship with someone who is committed at a different level” “Seeing the dating profile, sends me a message you’re not committed in the way I need”.
Then, depending on what he’s willing to do to show up..or not...you have your answer.
Maybe he’s not your guy.
Do you know your attachment style? When that’s healed, we attract better partners. We see our incredible value and then others do too.
This is a fantastic and thorough interview!💓
What if one doesn't connect with the men who is pursuing u and you tried connecting with him but it wasn't happening? Still does dis stand worth to mingle with this guy?
Sometimes attraction can grow, but not always. I think attraction is important for both men and women. Take care and thanks for watching too!
@@MichelleMarchantJohnson thanks for the reply...this gives rise to another thing: what if girl's basic needs are not meeting eg: optimum salary package to take care of his family,addiction to beverages,etc. And due to which enough attraction is not building up and bcoz this guy has few weaker sides and hence he is persuing the girl. In such case also should girl still keep dating him or leave it at earlier stage to not waste his time as well
I must be an oddity as a woman. ADIDAS 😂
What/where is a good first date?
Do a google search and you will see a lot of ideas. thanks for watching!
all others say dont need him why they say do self love
Thanks for watching and for your comment too Cori! Self love if definitely important!
So when trust is broken should you just leave? I didn't trust my husband based on his actions. What then?
Maybe The Personal Development School can help?
She has a TH-cam channel. I found out my attachment style and why I attracted the people I do.
It helps with communication, and SO much more. It’s changed my life.
At least you’ll have tools to state your needs and boundaries, advocate for yourself.
Also, there are other great resources for betrayed spouses. That topic specifically.
I hope you experience healing and peace