Crusader Kings 3: In Real Life
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ย. 2024
- This video was kindly Sponsored by the Ridge Wallet: www.ridge.com/... Use the Code “SQUIRE” for 10% off your order. We sincerely hope you enjoy this Crusader Kings III video. We filmed it in a shed, stood on 3ft of cow dung. It was an incredibly realistic film set. Below you'll find credits for those who helped with the production:
Bill and Ollie, obviously.
Rory: Henry
Jamie: Cnut
Paradox Interactive: For providing us with game keys. We're probably press.
Also big shout outs to our Patreons, and new prop manufacturer Georgie Sunter.
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want to check them out! www.ridge.com/SQUIRE and use the Code “SQUIRE” for 10% off your order. Anyway, the next couple of videos should be tanky, so brace yourselves for that. We'll be glad to be stepping out of a shed filled with cow shit, and into a nice comfortable room.
@Pimpf 443 a.k.a. Esquire i second this as i have just gotten into the airsoft hobby but dont want to spend money on guns
Squire my lord i be from the land of colchester (a right shithole) can you send your army (bill) to do a video there and take the piss
(It would be funny and frankly i think your men for the job)
Is that meant to be a Scottish accent? Cause if so, that's better than Digby's (Which isn't hard but still) WELL DONE!
what if greyhound was a
world of warships film
british film
war thunder film (no submer um conflict)
"I was in a brothel and I came as quickly as I could". Well done sir, well done.
I am gonna crusade your house
Figured that one would catch syphalis/great pox and die honestly
Phrasing
"It's a girl!"
*sighs* "Chancellor! We're going on a hunt!"
"It's a Genius, Attractive, girl!"
"Chancellor! We're going to enact Cognatic Law!"
"Our culture doesn't understand that concept, sire. Might I suggest getting a son and marrying them? Might pass that genius trait onward. Maybe."
@@tortex1 mathematically if you skip a generation each inbreeding you shouldn't get issues.
Probably.
Nah, you don't enact Cognatic Law, you just take a new lover.
"It's a genius, attractive girl." Well son, i found you a wife.......
@@mandowarrior123 In CK3, after enough inbreeding you get the Pureblood trait.
Basically your incest goes full circle and starts netting positive traits instead.
Mathematically this is entirely possible and it was created after the team consulted some biologists.
When you spend the last six months on crusade.... in Dorset.
Bunch of heathens!
Personally I'd let the heathens keep it
@@ProjectEkerTest33 No heathens in the glorious Empire of Squidonia
Oh bloody hell not Dorset...
@@ProjectEkerTest33 Thank you
Not sure if anyone else noticed, but the Chancellor seems to have gigantism, and so does Egbert. On top of that, the kid was conceived while the king was on a crusade. Furthermore, as soon as the king gets suspicious, the chancellor shuts them down
So Egbert is the Chancellors son
The issue I had with this was for the first 10 seconds I was not sure if that was fake or real hair, and I was really disturbed.
Not as disturbed as my loved ones were.
@@SquireComedy if it's a wig, it's not bad. If it's real hair, it need some good shampoo.
Hmm, legitimized son named Henry wearing a green shirt and a red scarf who needs to needs to bring his kingdom deliverance. Where have I heard this before?
I have no idea what you're reaching for there.
Squire I can’t tell if this us sarcasm or not
that was one of the best games i have played
9 months later (lol) on July 3rd 2021, I come back to realize ofc it was sarcasm. Dunno why I wasn’t sure 9 months ago
@@DeathnoteBB I'm happy to hear about your fast enlightment
“Well your sister, I mean lover”. I laughed so hard.
Thanks for all the likes on the comment :D
Love your content squire, keep up the good work!
Ah, medieval times eh?
@@SquireComedy you mean Alabama
Habsburger Edition
@@SquireComedy *sweet home holy roman empire*
@@heliosspecialistarrogant7031 Hey! I resent that remark. That's Arkansas you're thinking of. First cousins is Alabama. 😂
Yes, another squire upload! Quite marvellous in fact!
Indeed! We hope you enjoy it!
Squire I’m sure I will!
Good Lord the open legs in the opening scene! I won't ever be able to forget that, though I wish I could!
You weren't in the bloody room. I caught an eyeful.
I didnt notice it at first. Why did you bring attention to it.
The ankles
I can't... Take my eyes off... The ankles
@@jakeandthebowtie You are weird my guy. Absolutely weird 🤣🤣🤣
@@SquireComedy Remember CK's rules, Carousing sometimes cures depression, so go down to the pub and get wasted until you forget even your name. If you get disentery remember to pester magical chinese old men i the streets until they give you a milenary remedy.
"Runs in the family"
"Ah that's dysentery for you"
Brilliant
*The King is dead!* .... *long live the* ...
the king is dead.
GOD SAVE THE KI.....DAMN IT!
Queen. It's queen.
@@Katharina-rp7iq Why am i pretty sure you are British.
@@Mediados
And yet this person seemingly doesn't know that the song changes according to the ruling monarch.
More like the King's entire paternal bloodline is dead, now the crown goes to his great-grand-uncles seconfd cousins neigbours bastard son. :)
It's been 5 years im still watching you Old champ.
Thanks for sticking with us mate!
"You'r Sist.... I mean lover" God, that made me crack up. How many times has that happened in my ck2 games to keep my kids geniuses. Lmao. And the fist pump at 8:27. Haha.
I wasn't expecting the Spanish inquisition!
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
@@mitsvanmitsvanio6106 I should have known
@@mitsvanmitsvanio6106 yes.
I feel like "Runs in the family." - "Ah, that's dysentery for you!" is completely underappreciated :D
Can’t wait for this truly glorious game!
Only a couple more days!
It's tomorrow
@@tuberculosisterrence567 nah its two days
@@sherrihall5479 nah it's out already 😏
Imagine having a chancellor with his diplomacy skill of 40 and lose him to HRE
This doesn't even makes sense but ok, thanks for liking this comment.
"It tastes a bit bitter"
Famous last words of a CK character
Hearing the words “partition succession” makes me shudder. Bloody different succession rules for different titles...
Gavelkind~
@@strongback6550 Gavelkind was CK2, it's known "Paritition" in CK3
Wait. Does it mean that King squire would see his kongdom divided
@@cgt3704 That's why he killed all his inept sons.
Your acting is just so... witty. I love it!
Thanks! That's made me rather happy.
"My Grandfather Alfred, who always wanted to be called Canute"
[Wessex disliked that]
“Oh, I know the one. The one with HUUUUGE ambition.”
I died there..🤣
8:03 " i shouldn't have said that"
*SO HE IS THE ANCESTOR OF HAGRID!*
"Crusading in Dorset" lol
You know of a comparison joke for that in the United States? It sounds like "gone crusading in Delaware".
Could you explain that one to me?
@@drstihl2007 I think it's because dorset is a catholic place which makes no sense to be crusading in
I will crusade your door and crusade your house
" I just gave her a good old tumble" is such a CK2 quote
The Daughter is the best character. Probably his smartest and wisest child, too.
They did a wonderful job of capturing how trashy the average CK family is
Crusader Kings, the only strategy game where you can be an abusive father.
Not only does Squire do the best skits in his country of London! He also does it for his ads as well! Well done! (He also has some minor assistance)
*country of London* ?
@@gachaelephant6841 YEEESSSS!
@@ojisanhoward8940 County of London*
I think you mean city of London
Loved the vid, my favorite part was when it was not to subtly implied that the kings only natural born son was his chancellor's son.
I would have expected you saying: "Knut is dead! He fell from his horse and drowned in a river."
Thats probably one of the most stupid ways to die. There is no chance this could have happened to any monarch in Medieval Times.
Rip Fredrick Barbossa lol
RIP Ladislaw Iagelovich, king of Hungary (Mohacs, 1526)
I dunno, gorging yourself to death on eels seems pretty stupid
Because you have open council positions, your powerful vassals are mad at you and have formed a faction to overthrow you and replace you with your illegitimate third cousin in Norway.
yes
Was not expecting that ended-rightly resolution to the mugger problem. Well done.
The joke about him sending one of his sons to Lindisfarne would have been funny... except 1065 is hundreds of years after the Viking raid on that monastery.
Don't worry, they'll be back.
Tell that to Vikings and every offer piece of historical fiction. It’s like they’re labeled fiction?! 🤔
"Runs in the family."
You utter genius bastard...
"Your sist.. I mean lover"
Good old classics.
Ah, the Middle Ages.
I was expecting Henry to be assassinated by someone else. Dysentry was totally unexpected.
Ah yes, wrong grandfather name, your wife getting pregnant while crusading, good old crusader kings
Simply spiffing, the highlight of my week! Thanks for the new video 👌
Our pleasure mate!
We need more sponsors so this guys make videos
Love how, despite being out of focus, we can clearly tell the "queen" in the opening scene has a beard. Wouldn't be Squire if he didn't cast Bill in that role!
The game releases 8.31, and I can recognize CK2 Way of Life DLC dialogue when I hear it.
Don't worry about the poison thing, just preform operation "Load a save state"!
Ohhhh myyyyy goddddd. I know it's going to be a good one when 5 seconds in I'm already laughing uncontrollably. Truely glorious humour as always!
Cheers very muchly!
I serve the squidonion empire yesss
You get a YEEEEEESSSS
Yeeessss!
@@SquireComedy love your videos and my favourite are the war thunder ones like (when tanks dont die)
Yeahhhhhh sure north Korea 🇰🇵 style empire maybe
All hail the King!
Do it!
this video is so underrated, great jokes! would love to see another video of this series
"taste very bitter" final last words
When I told them I was going to build a castle in the middle of a swamp they told me I was mad, but I built it anyway - and it fell down. So I rebuilt it and that one fell down as well, and I rebuilt it again.. Someday son, all of this foetid swamp will be yours
That’s such a funny comment that I could just siiiing 🎶!
I love your guys sense of humor! Carry on mates.
A bastard son named Henry wearing a green shirt with a red scarf bringing deliverance to a kingdom, now where could I possibly know that from?
Ah, the very reason why I rush for primogeniture before I die every time in CK 2.
Watching this channel reminds me of the old Atkinson show Blackadder, Rowan and Tony again, Blackadder and Baldrick.
Right Good job mate!! Thanks!
Thanks!
I got strong swamp castle vibes. Your accent was bang on. I'm sure the kings son will do fine in battle, a great warrior, so long as he doesn't take an arrow to the eye.
“Chancy the chancellor”
makes total sense.
I’ve been waiting ages for my favorite youtuber to upload again
Let me know when he does!
Squire LMAO I think he did yesterday 🤣
Might ring a bell?
Squire!
Starts at 5:35 Something abour his clucking makes me wanna say...GO ON HIT THAT LIKE BUTTON! IT'S THE ONLY CURE FOR DYSENTERY!
Great video
Can't wait for Tuesday😤😭😭😭😭😭
Congrats in advance for 400k
Thanks matey!
@@SquireComedy welcome sir
The crussader son despite squawking like a chicken wouldve made a decent second choice lmao. This is why you keep the spare around in case the heir dies of dystentery
ck3 is just ck2 but with a makeover
"I don't understand it..."
"Well sir, first you need to spot the animal...then close in and spear it from behind."
"No, no, my gigantic friend, how do I ensure I have a son?"
"Oh...well...in principle your grace it's very much the same..."
This is the tutorial for CK3 I needed before I bought the game
I once watched from Extra History (Extra Credits) series about 100 years war. I came to conclusion, that it was just like Crusader Kings II!!
you guys are just absolutely fantastic
"RUNS in the family!" 💩
Squire, don’t worry, once I establish an empire covering the North Sea, marrying your Sister and becoming her lover will be fine.
"Well Your Grace, Sir, in principle it's the same thing."
Why does this remind me so much of King John?
You mean shitting himself to death after gorging on eels?
yes
YEEESSSS!
Great job fellows! Thoroughly enjoyed the satire.
Cheers Ken!
Thanks guys. Fun as always.
Cheers dude!
If monarchies were this dysfunctional I have to wonder how it was the primary form of government for centuries.
They weren't always like this as long as the king had male children, if not the nobility would get angsty over who would inherit the crown, but at the end it would be one of the nobility who would rule, a circle which the ruling class didn't mind.
Mostly having big armies to stab anyone who might say monarchy might be a bad idea
2:28
"Huuuugggeee...
ambition"
That joke was surely underappreciated
Isn't this just a documentary on the middle ages?
Ah yes spectacular, can't wait for Crusader Kings
Neither can we!
For gods sake make a ruddy nother war thunder video
How does this only have 20K views?!
"I was in a brothel ....". As a professional lady I liked your phrasing. And timing
Athelstan joining the priesthood at Lindisfarne? I've seen enough Vikings to guess where that's going.
Brilliant
‘I have a really bad feeling about 1066…’
Love a happy ending.
Heir gets dysentery, makes hellish noises. Subtitles: Applause! 👏
Ahhh England in the medieval ages, the sun is shining, the birds are singing and the children are playing in the town square. What a lovely time to be alive.
OH NO! I’m dying of dysentery, and we are being raided by Vikings, and I’m starving because I’m a lowly Saxon farmer. What an awful time to be alive
Has man gone Oversimplified mode?
yes
Henry's come to see us!
Long live the Queen. May she rule well!
You know I thought Henry was a KCD joke but figured probably just coincidence until the line "... Kingdom gets it's deliverance."
Guys stop being so good. I have clients to see and chores to do
Henry, Kingdom, Deliverence. Deliberate?
Very much so.
Utterly spiffing when the true gentleman of britain uploads a video.
So did squire do the weapons this time again?
Cause its simple and marvelous
The only TH-camr that I don’t skip ads for
I have a bad feeling about 1066
as I did gcse history and sat through 1066 I must say how much I hated that joke
however as a fellow English man I must say lol
Your channel Brings me memories of Monty Python.
playing as a khaanate they often rebel against me for not declaring war
Hail the king
Yeeees
2:40 Aegon the unworthy 184 AC
5:12 I think Chanci has some things to answer for 😬