There Is No Shidduch Crisis | Tzipora Grodko
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Tzipora Grodko is a motivational speaker and singles advocate. Based out of Monsey, NY, Tzipora is a LMSW, a Transformative Coach, and a junkie for purpose, passion, & connection.
Tzipora can be reached via her Instagram or email at Tziporagrodko@gmail.com
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First, I want to say I found that Tzipora really eloquently articulated a lot of issues that those who are not yet married face, which I think is a great way to increase sensitivity. The story of the person who said "what's wrong with you" was nauseating. I've never heard Tzipora speak before and found her really thoughtful, articulate, and impressive.
Second, if I may, I'd like to add a bit of balance to the conversation of "well meaning, but unhelpful comments". I married shortly before turning 28 and after all my sibling (including younger) and high school friends. I dreaded yomim tovim and can relate to everything being said. However, I do think there should be more "forgiveness" for people who make unhelpful but well-meaning comments. I think we should generally be appreciative of efforts people make to help us, even if they are not tactful. I ended up meeting my husband through a "shot-in-the-dark" suggestion by someone forwarding a resume and who did not know me or him that well. In the spirit of "it all comes from Hashem", even people who will only send us voice notes or don't know how to say things sensitively can still be a shaliach of Hashem. Of course, there are limits, and I totally support avoiding people who say brash things like "tell me what's wrong with you." However, I think there is merit to say that not everyone is perfect, and we should be appreciative of all efforts people make and be generally open to those suggestions, since we don't know which shaliach Hashem has chosen for us.
I also think the comment of "don't compromise on anything" should be taken with a grain of salt. Constantly re-evaluating our priorities is not a bad thing, particularly in dating, while of course still only making decisions that we feel are correct and align with our long-term values.
I hope this perspective is helpful, and of course others can feel free to disagree. But I felt it should be said from someone with a relatable experience.
May those who are searching find their bashert with clarity, with Hashem's help.
I really agree with what you said and I'm glad you said it. People are generally good well-meaning people. No one says anything to be hurtful. People just want to make a connection with others. That's the nature of humanity. Sure, sometimes, people don't think before they speak. And sometimes, it's really not their fault, it's more a product of society. And yes, people should try to be more sensitive and think first. But no one is saying anything to be hurtful. We all mean well. And I also feel that in today's world, everyone is so hyper sensitive and anything you say can be taken the wrong way. We definitely need to have forgiveness and grace on both sides of the issue.
Since she likes to speak in metaphors, when my mom tells me at 43 years old to remember to put on my seatbelt when I get in the car, isn't that so annoying?! Does she think I don't know how to drive?? Of course not! What she's really saying is "I love you and I care about you and I want you to be safe." So when someone says those fateful words, "Im yirtzeh Hashem by you", they're not trying to hurt anyone. What they're really saying is "I love you and I care about you, and I just want the best for you." Let's cut everyone a little slack.
"No, is a full sentence". Thank you for introducing me to this phrase Momo.
Yesssss
I totally relate to the question about “How is your family member doing?” when their sick… of course people are well meaning but it’s so painful and so nosy. I wish they would just say… it’s so nice to see you.
As a Monsey neighbor of the Grodko family, I was especially interested in hearing what Tzipora has to say. I admire her outlook and creative thinking, presented on the framework of Emunah and sensitivity
Best wishes for continued success in all her endeavors.
Susie Grama
Tzipora I see many instances where you express yourself so gently, and yet so clearly! I take my hat off to you. "This doesn't make me feel so good" instead of "that comment really hurt!" You rebuff people's comments without being hurtful. That's a skill I still have to work on. Thank you!
"When people ask me what I do, I honestly answer that I try to today better today than I did yesterday." Ok, I'm definitely stealing that.... and subbed!
I'm a "junkie" for your videos. You and Mo make a good team. Thank you so much for your entertaining, informative, transformational and impactful interviews.
I wish it had been clear to me when I was on shidduchim (for many years) how to love myself in a healthy way with physical and spiritual exercise...a learning partner - as the mishnah says, and what makes you happy. As Momo said...this is good advice for EVERY stage of life. Everyone needs to know how to love themselves physically and spiritually- then we can love the next person.
Very well articulated. You touched on so many great points. As an 'older single' myself (we even get a beautiful label!), I resonate with a lot of what you spoke about. So important for people to be more considerate. It's not about being 'nice'. And for us singles, yes, we should be taking advantage of the time to work on ourselves.
I've heard an old joke. Singles relax at funerals because nobody turns to them and says " Im yirtzeh Hashem BY YOU"
Thank you for speaking about this important subject, and bringing awareness to it!
Go Tzipora!!! So incredible your message is being heard all over!
Excellent talk!
I always say, it's better to be 15 years single than 15 minutes living married with the wrong person.
What's the "wrong" person? Maybe you are being too picky..
@@bobbyfisher181 it's only the 'right person' if he/she does/wears/says/looks/talks/spends the way I want! So....that😊 might be why there's zillions of people who can't seem to find their 'bashert'.
15 mins with the wrong person can be fun sometimes.It's the long term scenario with the wrong person that's harrowing.
@@Tali5899 you know what I meant. 15 minutes may be fun. 15 minutes "married", but so much.
@@bobbyfisher181 The wrong person is one with a personality disorder and is abusive and disrespectful and can’t compromise and manipulative… the person that only makes life harder not better.
Resonated with all of this! So well spoken. Thank you Tzipora and MPP!!
So important and true! I really felt the pressure when I was single! Another important area is for people to have counselling session or two (just like Dor Yesharim) before they start dating to see if they are even ready due to this pressure, just to assess their life and also get guidance or help if they have issues they need to work on before they start dating. This will make a huge difference to prevent those very quick and short marriages and divorces which is a problem in our community lately. My husband tried speaking to Rabbanim about this issue, but they didn't want to rock the boat.
Best hishtadlut is prayer and personal development. Become ur best self EMOTIONALLY mentally and physically. Become a vessel❤
Listen from 31 minutes. It so true. Single ppl shouldnt have to live in fear bec others treat them different from society standers of when they should get married. It doesnt matter ur age. Hashem has a plan. We will get married in G-ds timing not when society says it's time. Beautifully said. Life is beautiful and incredible. Enjoy the journey, enjoy your growth and beauty
this was just so absolutely amazing. Thank you Tzipora for speaking what we all feel!!! Thank you MPP!!!
Glad you enjoyed it!
This episode provided a lot of food for thought! Thank you so much!
I related to almost everything Tziporah said. Its so true and people need to learn not say anything when someone is in Shidduchim.
Thank you for sharing!
Really powerful points! Thank you for all that you do!!
Thank you, Tzipora, for saying what I’m feeling. I’m a single waiting for a shidduch. I’m not someone to pity. I’m a human being. I’m a BT and a couple of years older than you. I think you’re doing such a great thing for the community.
What’s ur hebrew name
@@libertyloveslife5602 Thank you! Baruch Hashem! My name is Tova Netanya Bas Ana Tirtza
@@tovamiklofsky414 it will happen in the right BZH don’t worry
@@tovamiklofsky414 BH Hashem should bless you will all brachas as well as to find your Zivug soon in the right time.
@@libertyloveslife5602 Amen Thank you
One of the best episodes of this podcast
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I'de like Tzipora to know its everyone;
The childless woman gets 'i'yh by you" along with the divorcee,the woman with marriageable aged children....its just something to say to make the speaker more comfortable.
Means nothing.
Or maybe they mean it as a kind of blessing.
You never know which one will work so....just agree maybe.
So true!
Thank you for representing a beautiful new take on a broken system, that wasn't always broken and shouldn't have to be. Finding someone to marry doesn't have to be the end goal, because then what comes after? We need to allow people to grow as individuals in order to find if and who they belong with.
Finding someone to marry IS actually the goal...from there they need to do a lifetime of work Staying happily together IN the marriage.
@@Tali5899 it might be the end goal of shidduchim, but it's not the only life goal of all adults, and it's important to respect the differences in people's personalities and what they've accomplished in life other than getting married.
@@gitelwigs I totally agree with you but unfortunately a lot if the victims/members/participants in this Crisis are part of our frum communities where the Ratrace is King.
Its very difficult to follow a different route when everyone around you is running to one particular finish line.
@@Tali5899 didn't you hear what she said? There is no crisis.
The rat race needs to be redefined.
@@gitelwigs You being funny?
Wow I learned so much for this! Such a good lesson and so so well said!! Thank you ❤
Excelent! I do want to add that what you are saying is aplicable to every area of life, this doesn't just happens with singles.. we as a society need to be more sensitive to others people's sensitivity.. people walk around constantly feeling they have a disability because they have a lack or have been put to the challenge.. this happens with divorced, with people that have children not on the derech, with people that struggle with fertility. I always say we can handle the pain on our own, but others lack of tact adds a lot of salt to the wound.. we need to understand that challenge is not equal to punishment or being bad, Hashem gives us all what we need to reach our greatness and therefore challenge is oportunity
This was such an awesome episode! I resonated with every single word Tzipora said! Thank you!!!
Thank you!
Wow! Well said!! Thank you for spreading so much light onto the rest of us!
Thank you Rochel for your feedback!
Thanks for this very meaningful podcast, as all of them are! Really great one!
She sets boundaries and that's awesome!
We love you tzipora!!
Great episode so powerful and true!!!!
Thanks for another amazing episode!
Tziporah your amazing! As someone who “has been there done that” I so relate! I always told people there is no shidduch crisis it’s an honesty crisis of people lying about who they are/what they are looking for. I too was a professional and when hired once in the frum community the manager said “we didn’t know you would be such a good fit cuz you aren’t married, but glad it worked out”!!!!
Can so relate to everything your saying. The stories I can tell!
I’m Baruch HaShem married now but will never forget my loneliest years, esp when younger siblings get married and having kids…
Wishing you hatzlacha in all you do ! ❤
This was a very insightful episode. I know many older singles and some are even close friends but i have never felt comfortable to address this topic with them in case i say the wrong thing.. I usually find myself just trying to avoid any mention of dating and be 'normal' with them.
It didnt occur to me how meaningful it is when i invite them for a meal or compliment them. Thank you for sharing your perspective and experience. It is really eye opening. Who knew 1am was the time i needed to hear this msg #tailormade! 😆
So inspiring. Thank you.
Really amazing! And can be used in all aspects of life thank you!
amazing!!! no words truly inspired thank you!
Thanks for sharing so honest. Whats comes from the heart ❤️ go to the heart ♥️. All 3 of you were amazing BH. Yisar koach
A very important coversation!!!!
Very empowering and so inspirational for today!❤🎉
You are the best!!!
I love you!!!
Best neighbor ever!!!!
Amazing episode. Tzipora has so much wisdom to share.
Thank you for your kind words!
Another great interview! Thank you!
Really enjoyed that, thank you!
Thank you!
I daven that בזכות this pod cast all the singles will find their besherts including the beautiful & smart ציפורה
Amen!
so amazing!
Beautiful conversation. Thank you. Keep up the incredible work!
Thank you for your kind words! Glad you enjoyed it!
Tzipora you’re so powerful! Everyone should be redting Shidduchim!
Great podcast!
Dr2818 What experience causes you to think American Charedi Jews have no achdus? I hope you didn't have a bad experience with 1 of us. If you did, please remember we are not all the same.
Love this! ❤ 👏👏
I daven for my grandchildren every day. ( my kids are married bh) davening and emunah are the key words. Also not enough to get married. How about not to fall into a dysfunctional marriage. Something that I read a lot about. I loved this podcast. I hope that a lot of insensitive people learned their lesson.
Many people fall into dysfunctional marriages as dysfunctional and or mental/emotional issues are not always apparent till the later 20's,early 30's or till adult responsibility/stress strikes;
Then it's often a few kids in and too far down the line.
@Tali unfortunately. You hit it on the button. Wishing you all the best.
@@yaffadonath953 Ah feel ya sista 😉
This was my favorite meaning minute episode! Thank you Tziporah
Very meaningful podcast. Thank you!
Thank you!
17:45 Great point! Asking how a sick person is doing puts the family on the spot to discuss very personal, even HIPAA protected info that we wouldn't let our doctors discuss. Jusy saying "I'm thinking of you all & davening for you" shows "caring withou staring."
I respectfully disagree. I don't think it's putting anyone on the spot. No one has to reveal anything. Everyone is free to say - or not say - whatever they want. When someone asks me how my parents are doing, I say "They're ok, thanks for asking." And that's it. I don't have to reveal any more than that. And I don't feel that I have to. And if I choose to say that my dad is starting to forget things, and might have xyz, that's my choice. And maybe, because you asked, I might feel safe enough to say something and now I can feel safe to ask someone for help.
And also, what she said about if you ask someone how the sick person is doing, it might force the recipient to drudge up all the hard challenges and all the bad memories - if you ask me about my parents, you're not reminding me about anything I forgot. I didn't forget that my parents are elderly. I'm always thinking about them and I'm always stressed about the situation. When you ask me about them, it shows me you care about them, and about me, and I appreciate it.
@@sameach18 Of course you're right. But it took me years to be consciously aware that instead of automatically answering, when I'm uncomfortable with someone's question I can say "I don't feel comfortable discussing that", or as you say, give the expected response.
Fyi, the Bnos Tzlafchod according to Talmudic commentary was the original shidduch crisis. They waited until past child bearing age to find men that were compatible with them. They also had an infamous father (the Mekoshesh) which likely contributed to their difficulties in dating. Nothing changes, its always been an ordeal. Best of luck in your journey!
This was an awesome podcast!
Thank you so much!
So amazing!
Glad you think so!
There's no shidduch crisis in the conventional sense. Orthodox Judaism has a very high rate of early marriage as you pointed out Tzipora. But today, there's a growing divorce crisis. Which in turn means that there is a new kind of shidduch crisis...And to combat this new crisis, it would benefit a lot of young folks to stop rushing into early marriages just for the sake of being married and doing what's socially acceptable without thinking long term. (This also means that older folks, such as parents, should not be pushing young people into marriages and making them feel bad for remaining single.) People today are very influenced by American society's fasttrack attitude for divorce. Women especially are feeling financial freedom more than ever, and it clouds their picture of marriage and partnership, and makes their husbands feel more expendable to them than ever. It's important to remove the social stigma of being single, so that people hesitate a little longer before rushing into a marriage that they will not stay committed to in the long run. It's horrible for all these children of divorced parents... It's easy to get married and make children. But raising them with a committed partner, that's the hard part, that's the essential part. And that's where religious Jews have started to fail en masse, at being married, and raising their children in a loving stable two parent home.
Thank you so much
You're most welcome!
She is sooo pretty. She won't stay single after appearing on your channel.
Thank you for your nice and powerful message! Even though i'm not yet in that stage, it truly gave me an entire new perspective for life. Which I'm extremely grateful for.
Great show!
She mentioned Dr David Leiberman, that should be your next guest (maybe bring his twin with him)
Don't apologize for anything you're saying...it's all emes
Amazing episode
Awesome!!
Great Episode
T k.
Every word exactly what I fiil
Appreciate you sharing how you feel!
There is definitely a Bein Adam L’Chavero Crisis and it plays out in other arenas as well, children with no school place, loneliness, people leaving the fold, etc. The Beis HaMikdash was destroyed because of baseless hatred, the cure is Ahavas Chinam
Many people in positions of authority who could really help change this really don't appear to care!
Tali They may care, but not know how to address things. And honestly we often don't know about the needs of a person we don't know.
@@Chanie787878 Sure....maybe.
After 120 I don't think"we didn't know" is gna fly so well. We know very well about the suffering that people are going through...but you are correct-it's way more comfortable to claim ignorance.Hmmmm, I seem to remember reading this is exactly what happened with the kamtza/bar kamtza story....the rabonim 'didn't know' and stayed out of it.Maybe JUST maybe we have the same problem now.
You know what? Grow up!
@@Tali5899 well said! This is one of if not THE cause of the “OTD” crisis. The system is rejecting too many of our sons and daughters
Ahavas Chinam starts with good morning, thanks, and you're welcome.
Rabbonim need to teach civility through
Torah law/Halachah, parents at home,
teachers in school. Too much emphasis these days on the head, not enough on the heart. Exactly the same challenge as in the days of the students of the singular giant, the martyred Rebbi Akiva, Z"L
Awesome episode
Beautiful Wow!
I traveled to Rome to age with grace, totally get that... ☺️🤣😎🥰
Great episode, powerful, valid points. But to say that since 90% are married by 30 and 98% are married by 40 this means there is no shidduch crisis doesn’t seem to weigh the numbers. Thousands of girls over 40 are single! 2%! I’m not saying there is a mathematical solution, but to ignore it because we also have a “bein adam lachaveiro crisis” doesn’t seem correct. We can have a shidduch crisis and a bein adam lachaveiro crisis at the same time. It’s amazing that this young woman is tackling the latter crisis, but in the process, the shidduch crisis should not be minimized or ignored.
Strange question, where did Momo get his glasses from. I'd like to get them too.
Tzipora, you mentioned in passing that G-d wants all of us to get married. Do you realize that there are people older than 70--even 80--who have never been married? Erlicher Jews, every one. You may have meant well, but that comment is very hurtful to singles quickly approaching their end of life.
It's very sad that people are so thoughtless and tactless that we need a whole movement and organization with endorsements by Rabbis , just to get people to think before they talk.
Feb 4th, ‘94 is Chof Gimmel Sh’vat & it was an Erev Shabbos (UNLESS lter: Leil Shabbos)!
And…speaking of the Lubavitcher Rebbé, that saying IS attributed to him
And.. a few yrs before (around 6 or 7 yrs before) this ldy was brn, on Chof Beis Sh’vat, the Lubavitcher Rebbétzin pssed away!
1,000 percent! wow! finally someone with some sense!
I'm going to try to say this in the most polite way possible. Trying to change society and telling everyone as a whole to not say certain things won't get you far in life. There are 1,000s of frum girls who got married at 25 even though people said "imyh by you." Even though it's wrong, you shouldn't be focusing on how to stop people from saying it, rather on how to overlook it when someone says it to you. I am a man, so it's harder for me to understand women who are more vulnerable to taking things the wrong way and overthinking people's comments. I haven't heard anything from Tzipora stating that single girls try working on their social anxiety and not overthinking comments. Society is not out to get you, and you have to work on absorbing comments from stupid people.
Wow! that was exactly what I was thinking and couldn’t have said it better myself. In this world in order to succeed people need to take responsibility for everything that happens weather its your fault or not. Sometimes it’s harder to look inside and check ourselves and see what about our selves needs to be corrected and rather blame everybody els for our problems. She is hyper focused on her self and expects everybody to be extra sensitive.
@@davidrobbins4571 Exactly. This is a common issue with "Gen Z"
Just like there is shivim panim latorah. There are plenty of way to look at every situation. It sad that we hear what is bothering our fellow yid. And instead of first trying to understand where they are coming from. You basically are telling them I don't need to hear this and they need to grow up. And that my friend is where we make our mistakes. Eze hu hacham lomed mekol Adam. The lesson hear is Ben Adam lechavero. We can't change the world. But we can try to help the person next to us. I know when I ask how things are going or if I can be of any help, I mean it and it's coming from the heart. Yes there are times that I who say soon by you. But after hearing a few people say it, I know it's not my place to have them hear it again and again. So please let's focus on how we can make the world a better place. And may Hashem guide us to always do what is best for us and our fellow friend.
in these days of social media, we have become flippant when we bless Hashem. This trickeled down to being flippant when we bless our friends. Now we easily invalidate someone's feelings. In this session, Tziporah is bringing awareness to the pain thats being caused by our"good intentions".
Let's all work on our sensitivity level.
There will always be people that are socially off. Refuah sheleima to them. For everyone else, think before you speak.
@@surikatz123 There are two ways to look at this. As much as we can understand what we need to fix. The world is changing. People are more sensitive. And as much as it might bother someone to hear what is being told to them. It's just a way of that individual of just wish to help.
N.B. In a marriage we run into such situations all the time between our spouses neighbors and even our children. And if we learn to deal with it now it will make us better people for when things come up in our own home. That Tzipora talks about it openly is a blessing for whoever she will marry because she will be able and ready to express herself better than most young couples. And Im shore her husband will be able to do the same. And that to me sounds like a good healthy relationship. T.G. Good luck to find that #1. The world needs more caring people like you.
Thank you for sharing.
I write this with the greatest sensitivity and i mean only positive feedback. It is my impression that this is a much greater issue than the shiduch crisis. Wetsern culture and validated by western psychology have taken victim empowerment one step backwards. I was married a few years after many of my friends in yeshiva so i definitely relate to many of the concepts that you have detailed. What i will say is that we need to take a deeper look at the way we relate to the human psychological system. We dont actually see the world of reality for what it is. We see the the world for what we think it is. When i see someone giving me a bracha in whatever language with whichever words he uses. If im in a healthy place i will react in a healthy way and understand the bracha for what it is. If im in a place of shame or worthlessness and hold resentment to the system. I will react accordingly. Its like people of color or people who suffer from gender disorders etc. If you simply state a fact you will be considered offensive. A plain fact. Whereas someone in a healthy state has no issues with the fact.
Having said that we do need to appreciate that humans are not and where not designed to be angelic. We all have feeling and we are allowed to have them. And we need to know that other people have them too and we must be sensitive to them.
If you are watching this and you connect with the negative emotions that were expressed. I would recommend you search up mrs jackie glaser. She has some talk about saying baruch hashem from a deeper place. And not rushing to the cop out version of baruah hashem. We call that "toxic boruch hashem syndrome".
The point is we should all be saying baruch hashem. But we need to say it with contentment. And it needs to come from a healthy place.
If anyone read this and is in that situation i would wish you a great deal of hatzlacha bracha and much siyata dishmya in your jouney
Merchhh ❤❤
Question is who coined the term SHIDDUCH crisis? Maybe if we take a look at the time period it was coined,. We can see events that led up to it such as maybe techomology? Whereas previously people took the normal route, once we became more technological such as does word processing to write-up a resume, WhatsApp groups, Facebook. Maybe something changed in society that made us feel there as a crisis period
Do you want to get married? So do something? I always say that sentence is kfira because Hashem runs the world
28:25 By the same reasoning, I'm not comfortable with TYSM. If someone is helpful and earned my thanks, it's more respectful to TYPE IT OUT! Anyway my phone does it for me in 4 clicks instead of one. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS WONDERFUL EPISODE OF THIS MEANINGFUL PODCAST! :)
why not just call and say thank you or maybe do it in person? if someone typing out for .5 seconds makes you think that they appreciate it more than you are going to be disappointed.
inspired
Glad to hear!
Thank you for sharing these insights.
Hi, i found this very inspiring as i do many of your podcasts, im just wondering if Tziporah could recommend any of the sefarim about emuna shes learnt, id like to follow her example. Thanks
You can also follow her on Instagram @tziporagrodko and reach out to her there!
Important points made here which I as a savta and dating coach totally agree with. However as an occasional shadchanit ( not as a profession) I do want to point out that the single too can be very dismissive of the effort I put into finding and proposing someone. Speaking for the non- professional shadchanim I want to be their voice , at least for lots of them . I have my own pain and stress and lack of time , and setting someone up takes time and energy. But the “no” response often takes two seconds ! So please, I know your pain and stress is deep , but please have the courtesy and empathy to give some thought to whom I suggested. Tell me you’ll get back to me. And perhaps you’re supposed to be a shaliach here, so hand on the idea to a friend .
Wishing all of am Yisrael only good things in their lives
Thank you for adding this to the conversation!
Lol. I have personally been FAR too hurt by shadchanim to be able to hear anything you have to say on the matter. Screw that. I am not eloquent and controlled like Tzipporah, so please bear with me. The single is far more vulnerable, and no, we don't have to explain anything to you just because you put in "effort." No one asked you to do that. To say such a thing! Do you know the effort the SINGLE puts in? Having to say no takes effort all by itself, so kindly suck it up. Not to mention meeting the stranger, getting dressed up, getting your hopes up and then it not working out and coming back knowing that we will dissapoint the eager shadchan. Maybe don't meddle with people in such a vulnerable part of their life if you yourself are self centered.
I experienced what you describe 😢
I think it is harder for women too. Single men are more accepted than single women are. If a man needs a place to stay for Shabbos, they are allowed to, most of the time. A woman who is not a family member, rarely is allowed to, if needed. It is like the woman is a bad omen because she us a woman and might steal your husband. I often thought, a man could do the same thing to the persons wife. But it is not looked at it in that way. A woman is more of an outcast, when she is single. As she is seen as more of a threat than a man is. If she reaches a certain age, she is considered no longer marriageable, because she cannot or might not want to have more kids. Women are sick and tired of it. So we throw ourselves into our work and families, and get called self centered, and too modern (putting it lightly). Men too have a hard time, but these issues I am speaking of, have to do with women. We are not going after your husbands and we are not harlots.
Hate to be hateful but is it just me or does this seem mildly inappropriate? If you can pls arrange a set of female interviewers for females. Thx & much love ❤😚
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Hated the disgusting dating process and being treated like a piece of meat. Went out and found my husband online..... done. Just let guys and girls meet each other in a natural way.....
Online dating is literally meeting like a piece of meat
@@tzvi3660 nope. We didn't know anything about each other. We didn't meet on a dating website, just social media
How is online a natural way??
@@Tali5899 because it's not based off information from a piece of paper. We spoke online, then over the phone, then met in person. It wasn't under all the same pressures. Just at a normal pace, without all the interrogation and research that makes half the shidduchim not go through and ignores natural chemistry.
I think natural chemistrys not so reliable though it's a nice fantasy.Most ppl could marry plenty individuals if we went by 'natural chemistry' alone.There's so many other details that need to align so a couple can have a chance at making a go of it...I think.Correct me if I'm wrong.
I feel pain in her, seems to me she didn't have it easy till now either, i wish her to get a husband that will give her lots of sport and make her feel loved and cared for without having to be something special.
being married and/or having children is not for everyone. So even insinuating to some one single that they too one day will be married and God willing have children could be the furthest from thing from their mind. Just because children are taught that being married and having children are the life to have, it is not always what they want as they grow and mature. People should do and be in life what they want and their parents and their community should respect their decisions.
33:00 "Do people actually say that?" Oh yeah! It's not even mean people. It's nice, caring, even smart people who assume that if you're not married it's because you don't want it enough.
I don't know I am 65 & I have loads friends my age & older that are alter bochurim I tell them if Mandelbaum can get married anybody can get married!!! (Only a Lubavitcher will get it it is an inside joke) there is somebody for everybody!!
I agree with Tzipora on the attitude certain people have regarding singles that are older. But I disagree that we don't have a shidduch crisis. We DO have a Shidduch Crisis! Reason being is that many singles are getting in their own way. Hashem runs the world. The area of shidduchim is no different. However, we can delay our meeting our true zivug through having unrealistic expectations of what their shidduch should look like. Women are dictating the minhagim they want to keep, that role is for the man. Men are requiring women to be much younger than they are...unrealistic expectations. I can go on and on. The couples that were able to marry, they were open, they allowed themselves to enjoy the dating process, the process of engaging in this Mitzvah. Yes, they saw it as a mitzvah..not a burden. Again, we do have a crisis, but the crisis is Self Made!
For the record, I am a shadchanit (shliach for Hashem, he's the ONLY Shadchan) here in Israel. I personally meet hundreds of singles. I'm in the trenches and see this very clearly.