Change won't happen as a result of "reading" the Steps...change ("the miracle") only occurs by DOING the Steps. The 12 Steps are a program of ACTION -- not reflection or contemplation so much.
Well spoken. I have been working the Steps for over 20 years. I am happy to see a non-addict / non-alcoholic person, especially a therapist, looking at them as a way to live a better life.
Thanks! I appreciate your comment. I am so grateful I’ve been exposed to the twelve steps. I wish it was easier and more accessible to those that don’t identify as addicts as everyone could benefit from the very classic ideas, concepts and structure of twelve steps.
This is so helpful and I can relate to everything you have said! Especially in terms of victimization, and how you said that when one is looking for spiritual changes, he has gone through hell. Wow. For so many years, i went through so many therapy and did DBT, which were a lot about behavior changes. They were very helpful for giving me a foundation on how to help myself to gain some coping skills. However, it still couldn’t help me with my deeply rooted resentments, hurt, and trauma. Everything you said was so spot on… I’m so thankful for this video and I’m relistening it again.
I have been in NA almost 2 years. I always feel like I do not have to be in meeting I can actually work the steps on my won and apply in my life. Sponsorship and fellowship with it just for some reason harming me.the people and Sponsorship makes it very difficult once your connected with them that's where the game starts.
I'm currently a student of these 12 steps. Already familiar with the scriptural principles that they are based on I was intrigued as to why they work so well. It's actually quite simple when you examine how therapists & psychologists approach the disease of addiction. They of course use cognitive behavior therapy, as well as common healthy psychological techniques. When you boil them down, they are already in the 12 steps somewhere. 1. Community/support group 2. Self inventory/honesty 3. Restitution/ making amends 4. Service/ giving back Only faith is left out, though not entirely. A person utilizing CBT probably develops faith in that particular process. Everyone has faith in something.
Hello, my only life trauma was when a psychiatrist told me when I was 19 that there are no guarantees in life. That statement keeps on irritating me 24/7, as I imagine that literally anything can go wrong at any moment and I imagine the most bizarre of things, since if there's no guarantee protecting against those things happening, then they could happen. What do you suggest about this? No therapist or psychologist or psychiatrist has been able to help me with this.
Might be worth looking into those types of therapy and therapists who are certified in either (or both). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. And Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. You can probably find out more from similar avenues that led you to this video.
Hey kristen, I have question. A little background first: I love your videos and they have been very helpful to put things in my life into perspective. However, alot of the attachment issues and fear I have about intimacy are quite a bit more intense than the average person. I'm 23, and I have never even been in a romantic relationship. Never kissed, held hands or done anything of the sort in a romantic context. Never had sex either. Now... I'm done being ashamed of this. I know now that it's not my fault, and I want to heal from this. So, my question is: have you had any experience helping people such as me? Is it possible for you to make a video in the subject of forever loners, and how someone like me could recover and find mutual love for the first time? Or how people like me come about?
First I’d encourage you to seek out a face to face therapist to explore this further. Second, maybe look up “avoidant attachment style” See if that topic resonate with you
@@KristinSnowden yeah I've watched a lot of your videos about this and I identify heavily with both anxious and avoidant attachments, as my dad was a very unpredictable parent that I clinged to heavily and my mom was emotionally distant and taught me subconsciously to bury emotions and be distrustful of everyone. So yeah... relationships are stupid hard for me. Not schizophrenic though. Not really sure what to do about it. It's a pretty weird predicament to desperately want sex, romance and validation, but feel immense guilt and shame for wanting it. I was wanting to ask my therapist, but hes more of a psychiatrist so I dont know if he would be able to help. What kind of therapist would be best to help me you think? Thanks so much for the response by the way
@@bobbycecere1037 less than a 10% recovery rate. Would you or anyone do anything with less than a 10% outcome? Sure, if it helps ppl get better whatever but I’m talking about the big numbers here. This isn’t coming outta my ass. I’m coming up on 4 years off opiates, and I’m shamed for the way I got off drugs. I didn’t do a single step yet I’m almost 4 years off that garbage. Shamed by the 12 step community. Would the survivors of the cancer community shame a survivor for how they got rid of their cancer? “Keep coming back” yaaaa exactly. To each their own
@@westie55 Meaningless. Millions walk through the doors of 12 step fellowships. What is 10% of a couple of million? In every meeting that I go to, At least half of the attendees have been cleaned for a couple of years. Your personal hang up on the verbage used at these meetings Doesn't change the fact that it works for hundreds thousands. And NO, They don't celebrate being an addict. It's an acknowledgment That they have a disease which has to be addressed consistently.
@@westie55 If you personally feel that it is a better strategy to Not identify yourself as an addict, Literally no one is stopping you. You could just stay recovering addict. Or recovered addict. You could even just refuse to Use the word at all. It's just a suggestion, there are no hard-and-fast rules. I don't understand people who get hung up on words. Like you were trying to be offended for no good reason
@@bobbycecere1037 I was an addict. No problem there. But I’m not going to tell myself and the world I’m an addict in 20 years. It’s pathetic. I respect it just like I respect religion. Who am I to say there is only one higher power and who am I to say there is only one way to get sober. I’m talking about the pure hate, and shame I get from the 12 step community. The fact I ran into the person running the biggest NA meeting where I’m from, in line to pick up Suboxone and he begged me not to tell anyone. Why would a multi year NAer preach no maintenance medication is allowed yet be on it at the same time? Seriously, explain that to me?? I know exactly why but I’d like your opinion? I’ve been to all kinds of recovery methods and AA/NA is the most toxic cult like thing I’ve ever been apart of. I’d love to chat back n fourth but maybe we could find a better place for dialog. Stay safe all, much love ❤️
I am an addict ,the steps have changed my life.put the work in and hand over my will daily... trust the process.
Change won't happen as a result of "reading" the Steps...change ("the miracle") only occurs by DOING the Steps. The 12 Steps are a program of ACTION -- not reflection or contemplation so much.
Well spoken. I have been working the Steps for over 20 years. I am happy to see a non-addict / non-alcoholic person, especially a therapist, looking at them as a way to live a better life.
Thanks! I appreciate your comment. I am so grateful I’ve been exposed to the twelve steps. I wish it was easier and more accessible to those that don’t identify as addicts as everyone could benefit from the very classic ideas, concepts and structure of twelve steps.
Anyone can benefit from the 12 steps. You don’t need to have any addiction to benefit from them. We can apply it in our daily life.
I couldn’t agree more. Which is why I’m co-authoring a book on how to work the steps (from both an addicts perspective and a non-addicts perspective)
This is so helpful and I can relate to everything you have said! Especially in terms of victimization, and how you said that when one is looking for spiritual changes, he has gone through hell. Wow. For so many years, i went through so many therapy and did DBT, which were a lot about behavior changes. They were very helpful for giving me a foundation on how to help myself to gain some coping skills. However, it still couldn’t help me with my deeply rooted resentments, hurt, and trauma. Everything you said was so spot on… I’m so thankful for this video and I’m relistening it again.
This was what I needed to hear exactly. Thank you
Glad I stumbled on to this presentation. What a GREAT description(s) of applying 12-step program to life in general. Well done!
I e always thought everyone should do the steps!
I have been in NA almost 2 years. I always feel like I do not have to be in meeting I can actually work the steps on my won and apply in my life. Sponsorship and fellowship with it just for some reason harming me.the people and Sponsorship makes it very difficult once your connected with them that's where the game starts.
I'm currently a student of these 12 steps.
Already familiar with the scriptural principles that they are based on I was intrigued as to why they work so well.
It's actually quite simple when you examine how therapists & psychologists approach the disease of addiction.
They of course use cognitive behavior therapy, as well as common healthy psychological techniques.
When you boil them down, they are already in the 12 steps somewhere.
1. Community/support group
2. Self inventory/honesty
3. Restitution/ making amends
4. Service/ giving back
Only faith is left out, though not entirely. A person utilizing
CBT probably develops faith in that particular process.
Everyone has faith in something.
Thank you for putting this info out there for us. You are helping me more than anybody has. I’m finally not alone. Or crazy!! Lol
Explore the webinars and resources available on sexandrelationshiphealing.com You are definitely not alone.
Hello, my only life trauma was when a psychiatrist told me when I was 19 that there are no guarantees in life. That statement keeps on irritating me 24/7, as I imagine that literally anything can go wrong at any moment and I imagine the most bizarre of things, since if there's no guarantee protecting against those things happening, then they could happen. What do you suggest about this? No therapist or psychologist or psychiatrist has been able to help me with this.
EMDR?
DBT therapy?
haven't tried either EMDR or DBT therapy.
Might be worth looking into those types of therapy and therapists who are certified in either (or both). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. And Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. You can probably find out more from similar avenues that led you to this video.
12 steps will work
Hey kristen, I have question. A little background first: I love your videos and they have been very helpful to put things in my life into perspective. However, alot of the attachment issues and fear I have about intimacy are quite a bit more intense than the average person. I'm 23, and I have never even been in a romantic relationship. Never kissed, held hands or done anything of the sort in a romantic context. Never had sex either. Now... I'm done being ashamed of this. I know now that it's not my fault, and I want to heal from this.
So, my question is: have you had any experience helping people such as me? Is it possible for you to make a video in the subject of forever loners, and how someone like me could recover and find mutual love for the first time? Or how people like me come about?
First I’d encourage you to seek out a face to face therapist to explore this further. Second, maybe look up “avoidant attachment style” See if that topic resonate with you
@@KristinSnowden yeah I've watched a lot of your videos about this and I identify heavily with both anxious and avoidant attachments, as my dad was a very unpredictable parent that I clinged to heavily and my mom was emotionally distant and taught me subconsciously to bury emotions and be distrustful of everyone. So yeah... relationships are stupid hard for me. Not schizophrenic though.
Not really sure what to do about it. It's a pretty weird predicament to desperately want sex, romance and validation, but feel immense guilt and shame for wanting it. I was wanting to ask my therapist, but hes more of a psychiatrist so I dont know if he would be able to help.
What kind of therapist would be best to help me you think? Thanks so much for the response by the way
Certified sex addiction therapist? You don’t have to be a sex addict to benefit from their in-depth training and experience.
15:40
19:00
19:20
You lost me at Richard Rohr
“I’m not an addict” but I used this archaic “program” to change my life and relationships 🤣😂🤣 mmhmmmmmm
There is nothing archaic about the principals that underly the program.
They are well known psychological tools for improving people's lives.
@@bobbycecere1037 less than a 10% recovery rate. Would you or anyone do anything with less than a 10% outcome? Sure, if it helps ppl get better whatever but I’m talking about the big numbers here. This isn’t coming outta my ass. I’m coming up on 4 years off opiates, and I’m shamed for the way I got off drugs. I didn’t do a single step yet I’m almost 4 years off that garbage. Shamed by the 12 step community. Would the survivors of the cancer community shame a survivor for how they got rid of their cancer? “Keep coming back” yaaaa exactly. To each their own
@@westie55 Meaningless.
Millions walk through the doors of 12 step fellowships.
What is 10% of a couple of million? In every meeting that I go to, At least half of the attendees have been cleaned for a couple of years.
Your personal hang up on the verbage used at these meetings Doesn't change the fact that it works for hundreds thousands.
And NO, They don't celebrate being an addict. It's an acknowledgment That they have a disease which has to be addressed consistently.
@@westie55 If you personally feel that it is a better strategy to Not identify yourself as an addict, Literally no one is stopping you.
You could just stay recovering addict. Or recovered addict. You could even just refuse to Use the word at all. It's just a suggestion, there are no hard-and-fast rules.
I don't understand people who get hung up on words.
Like you were trying to be offended for no good reason
@@bobbycecere1037 I was an addict. No problem there. But I’m not going to tell myself and the world I’m an addict in 20 years. It’s pathetic. I respect it just like I respect religion. Who am I to say there is only one higher power and who am I to say there is only one way to get sober. I’m talking about the pure hate, and shame I get from the 12 step community. The fact I ran into the person running the biggest NA meeting where I’m from, in line to pick up Suboxone and he begged me not to tell anyone. Why would a multi year NAer preach no maintenance medication is allowed yet be on it at the same time? Seriously, explain that to me?? I know exactly why but I’d like your opinion? I’ve been to all kinds of recovery methods and AA/NA is the most toxic cult like thing I’ve ever been apart of. I’d love to chat back n fourth but maybe we could find a better place for dialog. Stay safe all, much love ❤️