International League of Intelectualls Membership Application | ASMR
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 มี.ค. 2019
- Have you always wanted to be an intelectuall? Are you currently unable to watch “asmr for intelectualls” ( • asmr for intelectualls ) ?? Well now’s your chance!!! By taking this official application you will become a proud member of the prestigious International League of Intelectualls!
Website ► ephemeralrift.com
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Listen to selected works outside of TH-cam:
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Podcasts:
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Social Media:
Facebook ► / ephemeralrift1
Twitter ► / ephemeralrift
IG ► / e.rift
What is ASMR?
ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. It's a non-scientific word that an everyday person came up with to describe the feeling characterized as a pleasurable tingling sensation felt in the head, scalp, back and other regions of the body in response to visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, and/or cognitive stimuli, such as crinkling bags, hand movements, whispering, personal attention or watching someone perform a task. It's like goosebumps but much more pleasant and without the uncomfortable chills.
ASMR videos are meant to intentionally induce this sensation in the viewer, often referred to as "tingles", but the videos also serve to provide a relaxing, calming and soothing experience for the viewer. Many people who do not experience ASMR still enjoy the videos for their calming and sleepy effect. - ตลก
Being subscribed to Rift is like playing Skyrim, joining every single guild.
Lol
Haha, nice one!
braeden not particularly agreeeing with any group’s morals or motives but reaping the benefits and helping when you feel like it, and the murder one is the most fun for no explainable reason
I do that alot and use op armor that kills everything near me and I just rush through the questline because I want the cool items at the end of the questlines.
Facts thooo
As long as we dont meet on Wednesdays. That's when the Tin Foi... my book club... meet.
Wednesdays is when my D&D group get together.
Wednesdays when i jerk off
TheGoodHunter only Wednesdays? That sucks
@Liam Mrkonja
Monday: EAT!
Tuesday: SLEEP!
Wednesday: FAP!
Thursday: PLAY VIDEO GAMES!
Saturday: SMASH HEAD INTO WALL!
Sunday: ALL OF THE ABOVE AT ONCE!
NO STOP! NEVER STOP! REPEAT DAY IN DAY OUT! NEVER TIRE OF TASK!
@@azrael1208 friday??
I know how to make a redstone door, i think i belong here
Matz 9000 IQ
can you make a two way door though?
But can you make a crafting table? *I thought not.*
@@timewellspent8137 Bro chill, dont lets get too crazy here
But can you make an enchanting table?
Let me inn.
Let Me IIIIiINnnNN
Underrated
Please, allow myself to enter the premises of your property so that I may do what I wish in your very ground for I wish to not abscond your property or make it my own as such, as I am trustworthy to many a person.
@@focalpoint._ Y e s
Please allow me into your non-dilapidated construction, a true plaque of technique. We must converse on terms of establishing greater efficiency with the legionary intellectual club. Also, I came to make a comprehensive list of feeble-minded members attempting to enter the group. We must eliminate such scourge from our fine establishment. Also I came to support your purchase of triglyceride compound also known as “fat”.
@@australium7374 Yo chill
Ah yes the ILI grenade, the perfect item to go along with the membership.
12:52 And any intellectual worth his salt knows to check the ingredients list to make sure that anything labeled wasabi is made from REAL wasabi, not that colored horseradish tomfoolery.
Oh come on, everyone knows that true intelectualls use Dixon Ticonderoga pencils...
As a pencil intelectuall I'd recommend Dixon Oriole over Dixon Ticonderoga as it has a more durable eraser that doesn't disintegrate after one session of use.
Personally, I am a fan of the broken in half crayon.
@@NeatoBurrito05 A fine choice.
Of course size #2 hb shade
I prefer the noodle to do my writing and drawing
I could definitely summon some elder gods with that brown shoe
What for? To consult with about the lives of mere mortals?
Was that a Mk reference?
I do declare that must consult with the higher upper beings called an elder god.
Ah yes I do agree *laughs in intellectual*
You spelled intelectuall wrong.
The_Gangly_Gamer I hope your joking and I did not just get r/wooshed
PurpleBlob70 you definitely did
Sound_of_Silence oh no
@@purpleblob704 Take everything and everyone as a joke and your life will be rather splendid. Take it from an intellectual such as me.
As much as the League of Intelectualls sounds interesting, I’m still waiting for the video where I can get inducted into the Cult of Plague Doctors. I don’t want my masks to just collect dust on my shelf!
Morgan Gobin pretty sure the accent is required. So better start working on that first.
Then dust it regularly
That video does exist already
@@iwandoherty3419 Where?
@「M」 I was thinking the same thing when I read that comment. Thank you for being here since I was unfortunately late.
That I.L.I Banana serves a double purpose, as not only is it food, but, you can also throw the skin on the ground to temporarily incapacitate pursuers.
This was very miss leading when you mentioned banana and having 2 purposes
Is not misleading comrade. How else would one make proper use of banana?
@@willhurran9468 A double purpose just means that there a two ways in which something is useful.
@@GoliMeadow I'm glad I'm not the only one who uses the banana skin as a method of self-defence.
@@b1g_b4d_j0hn6 I am infact trained in the local, ancient martial art of "Banana-Ku." It is very effective.
Whomst’d’ve acquired an IQ of 200 or more? I must observe.
I carry a fountain pen with my person at all instances.
Tut tut
Petty fool..
For i am an indevidual whom is perpetualy bestowed with a mechanised penciling implement.
@@col_invictus4246 tut tut YOU petty fool. For I, a keen individual, carry a mechanised duel-action perfect balanced tip utensil with turqois ink in my triple protector breast pocket.
Heave yourself to my prestige heathen.
@Gangsta kittie have pen
Speech 100
@@gangstakittie7699 I just carry a dollar store color changing pen
Ah yes, now that I am an official member. I can watch the other vastly intellectually superior video
Every intellectual knows the Dixon Ticonderoga is the pencil of choice
Nah i go mechanical.
Ah, the classic Ticonderoga Test Standard #2 Pencil.
Aotwar The Egg That pencil lead shatters all the time, rendering roundabout 37% of the pencil lead unusable and wasted. A Dixon Ticonderoga pencil uses a firmer, but more efficient structure meaning that only around 15% of the graphite is wasted. This must show that a Ticonderoga pencil will forever be superior to the tomfoolery most formally known as the “mechanical pencil”.
As the name is excellent. I agree
My father is an intelectuall and thanks to him I was capable to read perfectly at my 7th month of life, but only after 3 years of hard work.
Fuck this confused me
@@qwaccc im still confused
He didn’t teach you how to spell
Might be an intelectuall, but clearly you’re no mathematician.
Yes but he clearly didn't teach you about time and math now did he?
He really likes his hand grenades lol
Please make more videos where you hold up objects that are flat and capable of being edited to say quotes. I’ve now started spending time editing your videos in a still frame to entertain myself and others
Thank you for understanding
I think the grenade makes good sounds
When the police wont accept your ILI card you can always just use the ILI grenade.
Also the patient next door is gonna want that ILI shoe
ILI grenade, eh? What's the damage radius?
@@lewishancock3526 That depends on the person throwing it. The higher the intellect the greater the radius
You'll blow their minds
If none of that works you can always as a final resort, feed him the ILI banana even if he is not hungry.
Note: Use this tactic only in intense situations
@@cara_melly or use the I.L.I. cheese grater
Is he growing his hair out so he can make a Jesus ASMR????
Rift bless you!
Yes
Im sure hes already done jesus
@Geoffrey Robb Yeah he did. JSMR.
@Geoffrey Robb he did.
Oh I would feel so cool “accidentally” flashing this card at the library check out desk 😎
Then you see that they taped their I.L.I membership card to the computer.
Droid 16 Beta that’s a classic librarian move 💯
it would be useful in a internet argument to prove a point
Aw that'd be fun but all my libraries are computer check outs :(
Epic Gamer Moment
Hello Rift,
I don’t know if you’ll read this, but if you don’t, that’s okay. I just wanted to quickly sprinkle in a few words about how grateful I am for the dedication you display towards your craft, and for sharing it with us. You give us a place where we can step into an alternate universe, or step out of our own universe and address what’s in front of us. Thanks again Rift, for all that you do.
P.S Can you tell Margaret that I say hello? :)
Most looking forward to receiving my ILI hand-grenade. Very excited.
Ok I know I'm in the wrong place, but are you sure you can't point me to asmr for dummies and any league that may be affiliated with these types of peoples?
How about the International League of Idiots? I think that's what you're looking for.
A true idiot would not realize they are at the wrong place.
@@generickitty50 IT'S A TRAP!
Are you seeking the unsavoury conglomeration of idiots known most formally by the realm of intellectuals as the International League of Idiots?
his hair looks healthier than mine and im 19
Lmao he’s 45 and experienced kid
He has more hair then me, I'm going bald at age 17.
@@clutchnixon1764 WebMD?
SeN tokieyoo Hes Just being a little dramatic and looking to get a reaction out of it
@@clutchnixon1764 wow but the most young people become bald cause of cancer but either way I agree xd
When you watch one episode of Rick and Morty
You obviously haven't seen barn yard friends now have you
To be fair, you do have to have a genius level IQ to understand the musings of Richard and Mortimer.
TodayIWillShid yes but the intelligence and wisdom one must harness to behold “The Backyardigans” is tremendous and immeasurable. many men and women have mightily tried and failed to witness the glory of it but have left jarred and puzzled, often left crazed. only i.l.i members can understand such elegance without the possibility of being confused
@@Roostest You have just grabbed the deepest crevices of my mind
“So it started with this fuckin gorilla, right?...”
5 hours later
“...and then, I kid you not, he turned himself into a pickle. Funniest shit I’ve ever seen...”
"Any intelectuall worth their salt always carries a #2 pencil."
Boi I'm way ahead of you there
I always carry 150 #2 pencils or more wherever I go.
Those are rookie numbers!
Man’s carries a #300 pencil
I'll join, but just to make sure, this organization isnt nefarious, is it?
The central committee of the T.F.H.S., C.C.T.F.H.S. for short, has placed the I.L.I. on a list of suspicious but not nefarious organisations. So the memberships in the T.F.H.S. and the I.L.I. do not exclude one another. If you however find any evidence that the I.L.I. is in fact nefarious you should report that to the C.C.T.F.H.S. Hope I could help. Stay tin foily!
I am not yet an official member of the I.L.I yet but I believe that it is not a nefarious organisation but I guess we will see once we get into the I.L.I see you there fellow intellectual
This is what's great about this community, two real people referencing past episodes and enjoying themselves. Makes me feel good 😊
@@dabadeedabadoo4191 i'm going to say the n-word
MS OBAMA GET DOWN
Honey! why do the kitchen ware have stickers on them?
omgomgomg ER liked my comment.
This comment is dead now
Can we get a hand grenade only video?
ILI bot, play despacito
i cannot even pass a dna test how a i supposed to win this?
“Let’s see ER’s card”
Look at that subtle off-white coloring, the tasteful thickness of it- oh my god it even has a water mark
I couldn’t pass the application process to mow my grandmas lawn.. I’m thinking this one is out too
Reported your comment enjoie
@@clutchnixon1764 well this comment section has just escalated.
400k left before 1mil subs, keep up the Great content ,Ephemeral, we will alway be your Most Devoted fans
We're so close now. It's within reach.
you didnt even call the granade a knowlege bomb
I believe you mean "Statically Fused Pin Initiated Manually Propelled Shrapnel, High Velocity Compressed Pressure Wave and Incendiary Anti-Personnel and Light-Vehicle Device", what a Pseudo Intellectual...
You mean truth bomb?
you mean Vsauce?
@@RETROVOIK perhaps
Judge: You are hereby charged with four counts of murder. How do you plead?
Me: Guilty *flashes new ILI card*Judge: Case dismissed.
You should do anarchist asmr
I'd pay money for him to read the bread book
@@QuinnTheProle He could cut his hair and grow out his beard and read it as Kropotkin.
So a membership a plaque nice nice
*OH AND A HAND GRENADE*
I can attest to the fact that this application for the I.L.I. is/was more difficult than the Oregon Bar Exam. Just took it on February 26 & 27.
_retweeted by @humblebrag_
If those business cards aren't made I'll make crappy ripoffs on my own.
Thinking? I much more wish for my brain to NOT work, who needs the anxiety from such effort? I would rather shut it off with a slightly overdue beaking from my doctor instead. Good for the neurons.
YES. I always wanted a specialized cheese grater
And a sanctioned banana lol
the intelectuall videos should be in lower case to stay thematically consistent
Is Schrödinger's cat still alive in the box? True or false?
*INTERNAL SCREAMING*
Kelton Gaskey true because it is both dead and alive at the same time
Yes
No it is in a suspended state and until u open the box will it fall into one state of the other.
X Factor
It’s true *and* false. It is in a suspended state until the box is opened. It is true because it is presumed alive until proven dead, and is false because it is presumed dead until proven alive. Easy peasy!
Oh I'm so glad I got in!! I was a little nervous, I'm glad I am welcomed into the ILI
“Intellectualls love their cheese” well what if I’m allergic to dairy? Does soy cheese or almond cheese still count? Or can I just not be accepted into the I.L.I. ?? This is really important man I’d like to think of myself as an Intellectuall but after that idk man
this new Pokemon release of the Intelectuall and Idiot versions looks great
Hey ep. I know you might not see this but I thought I would try! I've been watching you for years and love your work! I feel like I could sit down and talk for hours about the same things u do. Your channel has helped me get through a lot of bullying and depression. I appreciate all the help u have given me for the past 4 or so years. Love you EP
Lol, I just love the fact that on the membership card from the International League of *INTELLECTUALS* the word *INTELLECTUALS* is spelled wrong 😂
So many uploads recently! Thanks!
Hey Uncle E, this is off topic, but I have been watching you since I was in sixth grade. Using my I.L.I card, I am now going to college this year! Thank you so much for these many years of relaxation. Here's to many more.
ive been listening to you for years and i just want to say thank you for your content i wish my fellow peers appreciate this as much as i do
5:25 rick where did you get a hand grenade
Ah yes you typical membership stuff, your membership card, a plaque from the groups and obviously your hand grenade
I know this video is old, but I have to say this: I've never cared for or experienced tingles from the various triggers presented by ASMR, until today. That cardstock tapping is the sound of the gods. Thanks Rift. :)
I honestly don’t understand how ER doesn’t have more subs. Im so spoiled by his videos. I usually can’t enjoy or listen to other asmr cause it just isn’t as good to me. He consistently gives my tingles and I just love listening to him. But yea keep up the awesome work and thank you so much for everything you do. I battle with anxiety and insomnia and you’ve made dealing with it so much better. Sure I might not sleep but it puts me at ease and for sure helps with the process.
*Sign me in!*
Before other intelectualls!
ASMR Shoron *up
@@gee_dubya bruh, it's out* smh
You're both morons, it's *through
@@BigT.Larrity You three stooges are all wrong. It is clear that is it meant to be *there
CommunistHam Y’all are idiots, it’s obviously *here
I haven't seen dark circles under a pair of eyes like yours since the last time i saw a mirror. You doing okay EM?
Holy cow buddy, I subscribed to you long ago, but fell off watching videos for awhile, since dr. Walker. This series brought me back full force.
Tingles galore.
It's brilliant how raw this footage is, nothing but talent.
Thank You, I was intrigued by ASMR for intelectualls but, sadly, I wasn't an intelectuall, but now I can, Thanks Uncle E
You did it rift, this is amazing.
rift we need more application videos for different memberships!
I love the mispelling, it really fits his style of videos.
Fbi open uuuuup. my bad sir.
I am the veriest intellect yes yes
Dall VA You called?
I tried feeding a homeless man with Wasabi and now he's in the hospital; maybe we should try regular peas.
That cutting mat gave me EXTREME tingles. Please use it in another video!
Ah, man, I forgot to bring my fishing rod to the lake. Thank goodness I always carry my intellectual hand grenade.
Hey, please can you resurrect the whispering squash and make another video of it, I think it’s your best one and it really helps me sleep. And as my family are all squashes, I relate very much to that video, thanks
TheMysteriousCatPerson this is better than swear word only vid requests lmao
Thank you so much for this comment. I'd never seen the squash video so I looked it up and laughed for 17 mins. Made my day. Thanks!
Monty you’re welcome, glad I could share this squashy goodness
Rifts old videos were great and his new videos are amazing. I'm glad I've stuck with him for all these years. I might have to go watch the whispering squash video again now.
Me: watches this video 20 times
Also me: just realized the ILI card is a get out of jail free card
*grabs my fedora and my anime body pillow* I’m ready
*Pumps Shotgun*
I think not r/niceguy. You belong in The International League Of Idiots. Good Day Sir.
Steven Matroo no order 66 for you
*plays Uno reverse card* no u
I would love to print out one of those cards from your website!
Rift, could you possibly do an ASMR roleplay where you play as Joseph Seed from Far Cry 5. That would be awsome. Plus, it would kickstart our cult!
Alex Vaughan ER needs the power of YES
@@newworldarmsrace9698 He must give us his atonement. Sin must be exposed so it may be absolved.
Angerly equips recurve bow, d50, m249, and flamethrower... fucking peggies
This is my actual far cry 5 loadout
Rift: *What contributions will you be able to provide once you become a member of the International League of Intelectualls?*
Me: *Memes.*
Rift: *Mmm okay.*
I dont want to sound like im looking for pitty. But my dad died a few days ago so as you can imagine its hard to sleep I just wanted to thank you for helping me get some rest man I appreciate ya an what you do.
Can we please someday see a video of the Bubble Boy Brigade. I never forgot the first time you mentioned them and I’m just filled with so many images of what the hell it would look like
I just realized that "intelectualls" is spelled wrong
Applying for an International League of Intellectuals membership is okay, but for me, it is the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich.
You are a sultry and delicious tease McChicken... I’ll never forget that one time on the beach ;D
I remember you...marno asmr ?🤨
For me, it is the McChicken I think you must have this league confused with another. It's the International League of Intelectualls, not the International League of Intellectuals. That's in an entirely different league of its own!
McDonald's ain't even paying this dude
Love how your hair looks, I hope mine gets like that
Ah yes my favorite pastime, grenade fishing
How do you say all this with a straight face
easy, just think what you say is true (even if it's bullshit) that's how politicians do it
I'm SHOOK i had my hand out already as Emerphial went in for a handshake
41:50, the answer to this one is actually kind of interesting! The fruit was called the orange before the color was, before it was just yellow-red. Then the color inherited the name of the fruit. (I think the same thing might've happened with peach, but I'm not sure.)
I really hope ER sees the irony in selling "Capitalism is a crime" tee shirts.
Your bow tie put me to sleep in 26 seconds.
This dude gives me life, even tho he makes me sleep
You make these so interesting and diffrent, i dont like asmr but this is just fun
This guy is like the Florida of asmr
if Sheldon made a club
I was waiting for this.
Me like 5 years ago: What is this guy on about with the plague mask?
Me now: Yes, WHY OF COURSE! The official I.L.I. sanctioned cheese grater.
If I plant the ILI official potato, would the offspring of that potato also be ILI official? Or is there a certification process that they would need to go through? Same with the banana, would a tree grown from an ILI official banana produce ILI official bananas?
Yo
Literally, just been wondering when Uncle E was going to upload a new vid. Now I can wonder, no more.
Until next time!
@@josephdugdale4150 Which just happens to be right now. :)
Good thing to know the 1% of problems the ILI card can't get me out of the ILI hand grenade will, stay strapped or get clapped bois
You are the only one that I enjoy using the word pop for soda
“Just a little sodium chloride.”
“Actually, dude, it’s salt.
“That’s what I said! Sodium chloride.”
jimbo belongs in the ILI
Actually it was iodized salt which along with sodium chloride contains iodine to prevent iodine defeciancy
Can you do Pastafarian ASMR?
Görge y e s
but W H Y?
Oh this is clutch I was just about to lay down. All hail papa rift
Even the forse can't defeat his asmr
This. This is why I love this channel.