It's time that employers with employees used psychometric and empathy tests to stop narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths being placed in supervisory and management positions over others.
In sweden where unions has something to say, promotions has to be approved by unions before taken into effect. In practice this means the union calls team member ad asks them if they approve the promotion. If someone or all says no, they will stop it. It is not fault proof, but I think it helps. My father had a nasty conflict with a manager, and it got escalated. Union stepped in an mediated. 5 years later this manager got another offer as an even higher manager in the same company, but the conflict with my father wasn't the only one, there were more people harassed by him. So this time the union said stop, they had a track record of this guy being an absolute arse hole. and that put his career to an end.
@@MikeKay1978 The Neoliberal profit driven, anti-union and anti-worker culture of privatisation and the free market with associated management culture has been promoted in the UK since 1979.
@@safirahmed That is fine as long as they pay a premium for that neoliberal setup. For a worker all changes has resulted in additional risk, with no financial compensation for that risk. it means that while companies can run much more easily hire and fire people as they go, the risk workers have to take decreases the purchasing power. Companies have to do it that way otherwise they cannot remain competetive. and they cannot remain competetive because of the hidden hand, the state. Yes state and taxes is the root cause. The state sits there quitely pitting people against companies, when in fact it is the state that is the major villain.
Has anyone ever noticed that those with Narcissistic personality disorder seem to float to the top? They exude false confidence due to narcissism, and literally never accept accountability for mistakes and blame shift onto others.
Yep. 1. Provided little to no training or guidance 2. Ideas are shot down or ridiculed 3. Little to no support 5. No one-on-ones and not included in meetings 6. No collaboration only mandates Mostly, the culture is bad.
Oh my God, my last job was so much this. I thought they were just shorthanded but the more I learned about my boss the more I realized she just didn't want to deal with me AT ALL. I was used in my previous jobs to being left alone to have an degree of autonomy but this one just didn't care at all. And she was truly one of the more weaselly people I've dealt with in my working life.
My former supervisor at my last job was literally incapable of offering any kind of praise or encouragement - ''always critical'' was just her thing, like, in life.
My toxic supervisor was exactly like yours, telling me that "we write in red ink around here", and always changing my purchase order quantities with a lecture. She criticized my wardrobe and my short hair cut, calling it "butch". One of her former staff told me she threw a stapler at him. She had a bad dandruff problem, and left a trail of dandruff. I gave her a bottle of dandruff shampoo for Christmas, which shocked her. I don't think any of her previous employees gave her a present. LOL
@@user-gh8tq3me3m She thought she was the Queen. The executives compained about her for years. She was a V.P.. When they fired her, she refused to leave. Security was outside her door, waiting to escort her out. She called her lawyer. She came to work for a month, and sat in her office, behind closed doors, no longer working. She demanded a retirement party and the company retiree medical benefits, which she was not entitled to, because she was just under 55 years of age. The company gave her a retirement dinner and the retiree medical benefits. It was surreal, but Good Riddance to her.
You forgot about bosses who play favorites or assign different rules for different people !! That is also toxic behavior. Please cover this in another video. 🙏
Absentee/Helicoptering/Toxic/Authoritarian bosses are rampant now. Seems to me, companies need to be setting higher standards and raising the bar on what makes a good leader vs shoving wrong people into a role to hover over the “boots on the ground” people, in hopes of simply passing the noise off to someone else.
One thing I’ve learned is people you work with don’t really care what’s going on in your personal life for the most part. There are exceptions but for the most part, it’s a business, not a charity. I’ve always been annoyed by how bosses and coworkers will act sympathetic and tell you to take as much time as you need after losing a close one, but then after a day or two they expect you to go right back to everything as if nothing happened and almost seem passive-aggressively annoyed at you for being behind on stuff. Your coworkers are not your friends/family. It took me a minute to really understand that.
My last boss was what I call a bungee cord boss. You never see or hear any response from emails/calls for days or weeks, then suddenly drops in, change everything that we were making progress on, cancels/assigns projects and springs back out of there and we are left with the disaster to clean up. This type of boss doesn't realize that they are the obstacle to getting things done. Like flying a rocket halfway to the moon and then get re-routed to Mars and then asks why is it taking so long?
Yep I had that for a very short period of time it was really frustrating he even came and rearranged my desk for me after I finally got things done being a new person he physically started moving around everything and he took my notebook and started taking notes really aggressively about what I should be doing it was very childish and manipulative that made him look like he was actually on top of the situation but he wasn't
I've heard this kind of boss called a pelican boss. Just like a pelican they will swoop in out of nowhere, unannounced and uninvited, squawk and make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, and then fly away leaving you to deal with the mess. 😆
This was an amazing watch. I just QUIT a job with a toxic boss in a production environment. I'm now doing something else and it's amazing how much less stress I have going on. I'm so much happier.
I’m definitely in a toxic work environment: •I’ve had 4 different supervisors in 1 year •I can’t pushback on additional work assignments. I’ve brought up numerous times where I’m at capacity due to bandwidth with current engagements, but the work gets assigned anyway. • I regularly experience unclear expectations and absolutely no direction from my supervisor. I cannot reach out for questions. I’ve been told to come with solutions first before asking. If i knew the solution I wouldn't ask…I’ve asked for specific examples of when to bring solutions versus when to reach out for support. As expected, I didn’t receive a clear response on this. •I’m unable to achieve work life balance. I’ve brought up times where I’ve worked into the 10pm hour (due to those additional work assignments that I attempted to pushback on). I was told the following: “this is the busy season, this is how it is and you have to just deal with it. You can’t always stop working at 5pm”. Additionally, i wasn’t allowed to comp/flex the weekend hours that I worked. •I experience zero support from my supervisor when they’re copied on emails where I’m dealing with unresponsiveness or need to escalate emails from key stakeholders. These individuals are never held accountable, yet all the blame is regularly placed on me. My exit plan is already in motion, and I won’t look back after I’ve left this hell on earth called work.
Is the reason your bosses don't have answers because they are not qualified? Have you've gone over their head with the same questions. But of course have proof that your boss was no help.
Happened to me today. She told me to look at her and to listen to her. The result is I’m even more confused as to what she wants from me. She was talking about trees and forest. 😂
I’d reply without hesitation: “I’d rather not” and let everyone laugh. You might get fired, reassigned or perhaps experience a psychotic meltdown of epic proportions from someone you expected to be more professional. Either way, it would be worth it.
Oh yeah. Some of them are in it for the power -- which is pretty pathetic since that speaks volumes about their normal life -- but most of them are fearful of their own positions and decide that they need to lock you down so they can keep their own jobs. Which is indeed quite sad since it speaks volumes about how they can't do their job, much less anything regarding managing people.
I worked a temporary armed federal contract post. Mainly in 2022 to spring 2023. The security firm mgr only met me 1x. Once for about 20min. He used text, email most of the time. The problem was the guy acted like a 14yr old girl. I seriously thought at 1 point he was either a alcoholic or a coke head. He'd text me at 630am 🤔 . Send texts like- wrong number, email me only, stop using the cell number, use this app only, multiple people see these texts. 🤷🏻♂️
Wow, my former employer hit every single one of these points. I stayed there way too long. It's definitely refreshing being in a workplace now that doesn't check any of these boxes, let alone all of them
Same! I worked 17 years for a small company where my boss (wife of the owner) was like this. The pay and benefits were top notch, which is why I stayed so long.
@@lovelyletter7460 I stayed at my final job for almost nineteen years. Only five of those years were pleasant. I endured toxic and backstabbing supervisor divas. The two benefits... 1) I watched them leave the company and 2) I walked away with a lump sum pension payment.
Move goals frequently Micro management Bosses not available Giving negative feedback in public then private Not getting clear direction Your ideas clearly turndown or take credit for your accomplishment Dont take responsibility and can throw you under bus No professional boundaries
I had a manager who at least once a week would stand by my desk, in full view of the other employees, and ask me for the status of an order while his fists were clenched to his side and his muscles flexed, like he was steaming mad and ready for a fight. By the way, we had an order tracking system that I updated perfectly so he could have checked that.
I have a boss that micromanges, but is never around when needed. She steals people's ideas and passes them off as her own. Also, she has favorites that she does not hold to the same standards.
My boss also owner of the company is a liar, self centered, condescending and narcissist (called by customers) blames others for his mistakes, doesn't want to admit he makes mistakes or that hes wrong, thinks he's the only person in the company that works hard (he doesnt), doesn't want to listen to others opinions to improve the company, calls during day offs, favors his daughter (also work in the company) even when she jeopardizes the company at one point, and never communicates with his employees like he's doing his own thing! I also get underpaid. I'm sorry. I really need to vent and it's draining me emotionally and physically. I'm quitting this job once I find a new one
The best way to put these people in their place is to get extremely good at what you do and let others know as well and have an abundance mindset where if they decide to let you go, it will be ok. I have been in this position before and I simply just told them that if I am not performing and doing what I am supposed to then they can hand me my papers right then and there. Pretty sure I have a target on my back but it is all good, I can always find something else. My main thing is not being disrespected and taking it. I have seen this time and time again and people just take it. I have been in put in positions where I am being singled out in major meetings and I just give them my take on it in a professional manner. That throws them off cause they expect a different reaction. I also completely disconnect on my days off... if they can't wait, they can pay me extra.
Fortunately, I’ve only one toxic boss situation where my Supervisor berated me numerous times in front off my fellow peers in a loud tone. I guess every one around got the message. Worst part about it is that I had to act professional.
That happened to me as well. Sadly, it was in front of the whole office. The people in the office apologized for my boss (I don't think he was capable of caring for others). I knew at that point I had to leave.
That happened to me when I was in school. A toxic 666 teacher berated me in front of the school and class on three occasions. The final occasion backfired. She didn't realize she was having a meltdown in front of the class. She vanished during the school vacation period. The problem was that the principal was her very good friend, so how could anyone complain about her?
I once had a manager that told me that my biggest defect was that I helped my colleagues and I was sabotaging their growing by assisting them instead of letting them be independent. Toxic AF
About leaving in the middle of a meeting, I did the exact same thing. Performance meeting with the team lead, supposed to be 15-30 min to go over the good and need for more focus, but in the middle, a regular phone call comes in family, and I left after two minutes of impatience. Indeed, people should not be afraid to start the mental journey to decide to leave as soon as possible and stop the denial.
my wife works in a toxic work place, there was even an investigation(the country where i live has a ministry of work that is supposed to check into to these kinds of things and depending on their findings the business can get fined for a toxic work place/have to make changes). She even helped lead the investigation but her coworkers have basically normalized working in a toxic environment and were disinterested in participating, so the investigation led to nothing. The stupidest part is that this investigation was last year and this year its gotten even worse. Fortunately my wife can mostly avoid her bosses and coworkers, but some of the stories she hears about are so ridiculous and could have been avoided if her coworkers actually honestly participated in the investigation. I think this highlights a problem, which is people normalizing toxic behaviors. Not just at work, but everywhere. If you don't stand up for yourself, nobody will.
From the very beginning of my new career job I was so excited and then I sensed a bunch of weird things happening just to me individually and I think other people knew how to cope with my boss but no one told me I never got to know anybody that well I reported him a few times in a way that I was asking if certain things were normal to HR and they were taking notes but I sensed the things were wrong long story short I ended up being let go by my boss who said I didn't know how to do my job and HR got involved and gave me 2 months severance I would have rather have the job but I had no way of knowing if I would have ended up leaving anyway so at least I got compensated for the way my boss was acting
@@gigid9606 That happened to me as well, I was in a place where I wasnt given clear direction on what to do. I was told to try this and try that and everything I tried was wrong. Also, things that I did that werent done exactly the way that my manager expected them to be done were considered to be mistakes and were reported directly to executives. One day the executives sat me down and basically told me they couldnt teach me the basics and that was the last straw... I've been doing this for 10 years and now all of a sudden I'm told I dont even know the basics. I resigned after a month, you are basically setup to fail in that environment and nothing you do will be good enough. The company also has a high turnover as another person from my team that's been working there longer also resigned. Two people resigning at the same time in a 4 man team, thats not a good look.
This video couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. I literally just got out of a performance appraisal where my boss gave me a slightly above average score. I don’t know if this was the right thing to do or not, but I had to defend myself throughout the entire appraisal. I had to constantly remind him that I was doing so much for the team and the company as a whole that I was working overtime practically every single day to get things done. I was picking up projects that I never got any help or support for, (and that nobody wanted to do) and his critique was that I was hardly available to answer phone calls or take tickets for smaller issues that were going on. However, this is all due to the fact that I had taken on SO MANY projects that I was doing all by myself. I’m just stunned right now, like it’s literally a lose lose situation for me at this point.
If you have to defend yourself, your boss is not being very supportive. One thing is pointing areas where you can grow, a different one is negating your actual performance. I hope it gets better for you.
Thank you uacbpa! So true, he never really gave me any indication of what or how I can do better. And you’re absolutely right Rob. I thought by taking on so much work, that I would be helping my boss and my company to achieve more. I also wanted to continue to grow and learn more so that I can become even better in my career. I thought this would translate to me climbing up within the company. Now I know that that’s not the case. Definitely going to start polishing my resume.
I've personally experienced several of these toxic boss behaviors, specifically: -Being berated in front of co-workers during staff meetings -Providing little or no training in what I'm supposed to do and yet at the same time... -Being extremely micro-managing and telling me specifically what to do and how to do it, after failing to provide me sufficient direction -Lack of boundaries (emails on weekend mornings, texts in the evenings and on weekends telling me that something needed to be done right away) -Enabling bullying by other co-workers who were deemed "valuable" to the company I could go on. I just find it astonishing that some people think this is the way to treat people.
I find it astonishing that these toxic bullies have jobs at all, nevermind jobs where they manage other people. It speaks to very bad senior management.
I had a boss that was never involved early in my career. It was definitely a handicap because he knew nothing about what I did and I even received an undeserved bad review. Minor mistakes overshadowed the mountain of work I accomplished.
You just described my VP boss and how she is treating me. Micromanaging me, eavesdrops on all my conservations, subtlety puts me down and praises herself every time we meet, secretly listed my job and hired the person over me and yet hasn’t fired me yet…rolls her eyes or is critical in meetings, …just miserable but I haven’t been let go. I’m 60 and this is a high paying job so I am working hard despite her .
I work in IT and thank you for this. It let me know my current employer is very toxic and now I don't feel bad rage applying to any other similar IT job.
My boss is funny and brings a lot of laughter. However, she also makes fun of me and others in front of the group. I know she's "just joking" but it rubs me the wrong way. I'm actually fairly new so for her to have the boldness to be so outspoken amazes me. Maybe I'm being too sensitive I don't know.
One sign after another, I can’t tell you who I was before starting and how anxiety riddled I became. Low and behold handing in my resignation also proved my tedious as I was guilted for making a choice that will allow me to come back to myself. Strong, confident, reassured of my skills and competencies as a leader (that was purposely withheld as I started to climb) Always reclaim your power and get out when you notice the red flags.
I'm really good at what I do, which is why I am often given the "problem projects" to fix what other people screwed up. It takes twice as long to undo their mistakes and then make it presentable than it would have taken to do it from scratch. Because of this, I end up getting reprimanded for being "too slow." Right now, I'm having to take extra time away from my task to compose an email every day detailing exactly what I'm doing on a minute by minute basis, so that they can figure out how best to "deal with me." This is after spending the last year and a half creating templates and writing code for their programs (which is not in my job description) at NO ADDITIONAL COST to them. I have yet to hear anyone in upper management praise my work, thank me, or even mention my name. Needless to say, I feel very exploited and unappreciated while they are ACTIVELY going after me for my low production numbers. I don't want to look for another job due to health issues, so I am terrified that this will culminate in me losing my job in one way or another. I don't think you mentioned this particular situation, but to me it feels very toxic.
Thank you for this video! This resonated with me and my experiences. After my husband died, our small business we ran died too. Last year I got an Insurance License here in Texas, and have attempted to work for 4 different companies. Two I never made a cent at, and two Agents that were so impatient and critical of me daily, that I couldn't emotionally handle it. Aside from temp work, and low quality low pay positions with Managers that are non-communicative, I am at a loss as to my professional future. Mix in not fitting the culture, and not being vaccinated for covid, I haven't had a pay check in 3 months. Tough times!
This year, I spent just over 3 months working at a smaller company and dealt with an operations manager like this along with the two managers under him who did little to support me or give me unsolicited feedback. This was after leaving a, larger company that restructured, now I'm at a great job that functions more "normally". Man, that 3 months just left me feeling horrible.
As far as the boss that doesn't respect work/life boundaries and calls you during off time? I just don't answer the call or text. You'll catch me when I'm on the clock.
I used to have a boss who would micromanage and shadow my work in public. Should've really seen such red flags in front of me. So the boss I have now respects and has faith in me and giving me constructive feedback as needed in order to motivate as opposed to talking down to me.
It's terrible how so many bad bosses/supervisors get those positions, and if their boss keeps them their that's worse yet.. ceo's should clean house and personally recognize good employees and bad ones.. a successful employee is a great asset to any company big or small..
Well said. My current lead at work is one who tends to take things for granted and expects me to be available for work 24/7. I often got his calls on work matters during my off work time and off days for non urgent matters and he had even requests me to cancel my leaves and come back to work for something non urgent. When I put in effort he does not recognise and scold me hard for even thr slightest mistake. Nowadays I just block his contacts during my off days... Anyway I don't intend to work for him for long.
I've got a boss that just finds fault in everything I do just because he obviously doesn't like me. it just comes across as imbecilic and I'm glad he isn't my immediate supervisor. I just ignore him. He may be my boss but to me he's just a loser.
If you haven’t, could you please do an in depth course on how NOT to end up in toxic work places and relationships in general and what we should be looking for in a healthy atmosphere?
It took me a while to come to terms but leadership in general where I work at suffers from many of these. I actually think micromanaging is one of the worst, especially so if tue boss is a master delegator who is always asking to be updated about projects but never steps in to actively get involved.
If you stand up for your professional integrity and leave for a position with a different company, the Toxic Boss will still attempt to portray you as responsible for everything going wrong. Just because you are gone they won't stop being a shitheel.
True, in my skitty toxic workplace the employees were mouths_hitting over one guy that left before i came and have continued when i left few years later. One day i have checked his profile- the problem was he has seen them through out immediately and was many levels above the average mouthsh_itter.
I just came from a company that had the worst management. The cro and vp didn’t have the experience that the staff did. They micromanaged, lied, stole ideas and basically BS’d their way through the job. Everyone knew it. It takes one person to ruin a culture. CRO hired all of his friends who took reps away from actually doing their job. Overt favoritism and would set his favorites up for success and others to fail. He would lie behind the scenes and act like he was supporting you to HR and upper management. He knew how to play the game. What’s ironic is that he claims to be so religious. I am also noticing that younger males are getting positions in mgmt that they aren’t qualified for and it shows
I have had a boss that is overly critical and at the same time gives compliments. Really a gaslighting boss. Never know what reaction to get from them.
I always make it a strong point to develop a good relationship with your direct manager and his/her manager because if your manager turns out to be a toxic jerkoff, his/her direct manager may be an awesome person who you can count on should you decide to leave and need a professional reference. I found myself in this very situation recently where my former manager wasn't very liked among my team due to his excessive micromanagement and berating team members in public, but his manager was a very well respected person who we all liked and relied on for good professional references. In the course of a year, our former team all dispanded and left for greener pastures and not one of us asked our direct manager for a reference, but instead we all flocked to his manager, the former director, for a reference and we were all given stellar reviews.
My boss followed me to the ladies room. He stood at the door looking at his watch. I've never misused my potty breaks. Later he went through the drawer where I kept my purse. Nothing was in that drawer but my purse. When I complained to HR she said "the cabinet belongs to the company." One morning he screamed at me relentlessly and pounded on his desk. He screamed that he woke up late, couldn't find his keys, then the car wouldn't start. Upon coming into work he was reprimanded by his boss. I told him not to take it out on me then walked away. I complained to HR and she said she only heard me screaming. I was then fired!
I’m so sorry it got to that and he treated you that way hun 😞 But you are better off!! Trust me. Boss sounds lying, maliciously dysregulated. And it sounds like it’s the workplace environment too w HR 🤢
@@SEAndies Thx! The HR person was a so called 'work friend' of mine. The manager I spoke about got fired a couple weeks later. He forgot to order some critical parts for the company.
I worked briefly as a janitor, cleaner in a large medical center. The older lady I worked with told me of a 🏢 job she once had with a cleaning woman who had a on going spat over 🗑. I said if a office employee came up to me saying nonsense about trying to catch a maid cleaning trash or hide stuff around a office bin, I'd fire that worker! They can go screw around playing games & pranks on other house keepers, cleaners. They obviously never did any office work.
"Let me guess - you clicked on this video because you're going through a thing at work and you're wondering if it's just you". Ha-ha, your guess couldn't be more wrong, -1 to oracle reputation :) . Jokes aside, I find information you provide very valuable. Your video gave me another reason to appreciate my boss. Every attribute of the toxic boss you presented - he is an opposite of. Unfortunately, he will likely retire in a few years, and is already being pushed aside; so I still need to have my resume dusted and polished.
My boss's boss's boss's, the biggest grandiose narcissist I'd ever seen, went around tattling on me with her assistant like a junior high bully gang for playing chess at my desk .. what she failed to mention was that I had been complaining daily about an inability to do my job, at all, because senior management was stonewalling requests to repair our broken environment in what I now believe was deliberate sabotage to replace me and my department with people she perceived as loyal to her from before the company merger. When I was ultimately laid off, let's just say, I wasn't surprised. I ignored an exodus of former peers taking other jobs (willingly) in the year before my dismissal. In retrospect, they knew something I didn't
I've got one... You send your executive an email with a document that had a few errors you missed and they laugh about it with another sr manager and then tell you to fix it. That's it. Doesn't say what they see is wrong because it's not her job to tell you what's wrong, you should just know 🤦🏿♀️
Bryan, thank you SO MUCH for this video. The problem I had at a previous job now has a name. I felt like something was not quite right there. Now I know it was not me. Again, thank you!
Well done. Your point by point illustrations of what constitutes a "Toxic Leader" are very helpful for someone who may be in those circumstances. I plan to show your video in my MBA class on Ethics and Management. Thank you.
I had a boss like this. The one thing toxic bosses often have in common is they're good at getting the people they need to be on their side on their side. They're all about controlling how other people see them so while you may see how toxic they are, others think they're just wonderful. It sucks so much that companies let these demons rule.
Texting me on days off Coworkers sleeping and playing on phones Fails to answer some of my emails No discipline or leadership Giving me more and more work while others goof off Telling me for almost 3 years that they are hiring someone to help me, but haven't even posted the job
Run away!!! Chose wisely not to repeat the same mistakes. I had the same experience. I have thought i have endured so long i will just stay a little bit longer. It is always better to search and chose when you are employed. But when it is critical to your health and or you can afford it financially just quit and calm down. Desperation is difficult to hide during the interview and it works against you.
I was let go from my job three days after I buried my grandpa. My boss and senior coworkers fit most of these signs to the point where I was relieved to be let go. The whole environment made me feel very negative about myself and adding the grief of losing my grandpa really left me hurting. I'm not sure how long until I can trust working for another company. Its just insane.
At what point in one's career do you accept that they pay you enough to put up with toxic bosses or that your job role/title means that accepting some toxic behaviours is par for the course? To me once you're a VP it's almost assured that you will not be receiving good coaching, feedback, will get texts out of hours to produce work, and have to deal with bullies above you. Sad trade off some people have to make, I haven't come across a lot of companies where the top layers aren't full of toxic bullies.
Giant red flag: nepotism arrangements. When the boss' wife/husband works in the office. Especially if they're not qualified for the role. Run far, far away and don't ever accept the job. Nothing good ever comes out of that. Or any form of nepotism really (friends, family members, etc). You, as the employee, will always be "wrong". Not to mention, if you have a legitimate complaint about a spouse, you can't exactly bring that up to the boss. Nepotism harms morale in the office and is a sure sign of a toxic place to work.
I have job hopped a bit due to this problem, and it's completely worth the effort to make a move, because if there's a toxic boss who's consistently tolerated by senior management, there's usually a toxic overall culture underpinning that tolerance.
Nailed every quality of my previous manager in this video. Not to mention I was their ONLY maintenance technician for 3 buildings. Especially the unethical portion. On the third day of my new job, my previous manager, called me after hours without a Hi, Hello, How's the new job. Just went straight in to talking about work as if I did something wrong when they cancelled appointments themselves prior to me leaving. So glad I left that place.
Yep. Several of these applied. It affected my day to day life to the point where I fell into depression. Thankfully I'm now out after a bad transition month and in greener pastures.
Lol got micromanaged on order entry when we were incessantly out of stock on items. Did I make mistakes? Sure did. Did I get praise constantly improving getting it right? Nope. Did marketing and the office manager shift blame on me? Sure did. Was the director of operations inspiring or motiving? Nope. Was he Michael Scott gossiping and trying to be liked by everyone instead of leading by example? Sure was.
At my last job, I was Reprimanded in public for a Privacy Breach. Things like this happen. It's not good either, but damn. Take people to a conference room for this crap. Same supervisor shouts at someone else, "Hey can you go into the system and accept the error you received?"
I just started at a new dept. What bothers me is when one of my supervisors is laughing with others, but never with me, or even worse starting a conversation in English with others then switch in the middle of conversation to their language that I don't understand and sometimes end of the conversation goes back to English.
I have a similar thing going on with me. My schedules is always being changed in a whim to make me go work on projects that have nothing to do with the position i applied for.
I've sadly had all these bosses at some point. My current boss is the absentee boss and Bryan's example is spot on. Nowhere to be found, no guidance, no feedback, no projects, no team, cancels every meeting, and lets me know either subtly or not-so-subtly that he doesn't care I exist and doesn't want to be bothered. You'd think a non-boss would be a field day in a salaried position but the terrible boredom and message of unvalue feels awful. There's only so much "professional development" someone can do while being perpetually on-call.
Been there...never again! I worked at two consecutive jobs with toxic bosses, who targeted each department employee, other company employees and the external vendors. The first boss vanished without a trace after a HR investigation involving a complaint by his male subordinate. Karma backbite! I had interviewed with the second boss years prior, where she took a personal phone call in French language for twenty minutes. She hired someone else, who quit five months later. She called me out of the blue, and without identifying herself, she told me to meet her for lunch, so I could get to know what kind of person she was. It was all about HER. I figured out she wanted to hire me, and I lied about accepting a job offer. Six years later, I interviewed for the same job, with her Assisant Director as the direct report, and took it. Bad mistake! I wanted to quit the job for the first six months, but miracles of miracles... they terminated her VP job three years later. Karma backbite!
I have a manager that I have to play incredibly robotic around, and do most of my work in secret. I had been at the company for 15 years before he became my manager. I was taking part-time classed for 5 years in a row to get my degree, and his first week as manager he became extremely agitated that I was taking classes to the point that he demanded I called before and after class to check-in. He put himself first in our relationship so intensely that I took a break from my degree work thinking his behavior was from being new. He never improved, and I never got my foot back in the door of school. Talking with him made things worse, talking to his boss led nowhere, talking to HR led me to applying for other jobs, and without the degree it felt impossible to get an equitable position in my field at my age. I regret that I didn't stick out the degree progress and just complete ignore him and let him flame out, but I had never experienced and OCPD abuser before.
That is really sad. Maybe try to find if in your field it is possible to get certs instead of complete schooling? If you have already some experience you can save up and prepre yourself. How do you think?
@@QwertyUiop-xd8tb That is a great idea, Qwerty Uiop. The CEO casually called him out on micromanaging me in front of him today. That was unexpected. I do love LinkedIn Learning courses, and I could at least start there and stack up my certificates and a good portfolio. Ruminating on the abuse isn't going to get me anywhere. Thanks for the Pep Talk!
I was told once that I didn't seem very dedicated to the company because I took a day off for my grandmothers funeral. I had worked 110 hours a week the 3 previous weeks. I left that job as soon as possible.
This sums up the car business as a whole. Constant micromanaging, changing play plan packages (which goals are less attainable each time), management belittling sales staff in front of customers or meetings, and a boss thats never there or doesn’t have time to talk to you. Glad I’m out of the car business.
I had a narcissistic boss/company owner who negated everything I did at the very same time that everyone else in the company was delighted with my performance and the way in which I was providing innovations that made their own jobs safer, faster and easier, and was getting work done within a day which my predecessor would take weeks to complete. I stayed eleven months before quitting on the spot. I did so after a particularly awful interaction with him but I delayed my departure until it suited me. Being in a fulltime postion but paid on a casual basis meant I didn't have to give any notice so that backfired on him. The person who took over my position lasted two weeks. I'm pretty sure I overstayed that job by about ten months.
The owner at my company doesn't understand IT 100% but wants to make the major decisions but at the same time, she's delayed at making them. Takes forever to get anything approved/done. Everyone in the IT department vented the other day and basically said the same thing that if we had other options, we'd have left the company by now.
Whoa, yes I've experienced the look over shoulder so much, by the manager & owner. The manager stood so close to me that I could smell his bad breath. And there are times the owner belittled the manager and myself, my co workers just thought this was so normal. Half of the times it felt like I was walking into the Twilight Zone.
In almost five decades of work, about half of my bosses were lying jerks who would not let me do a good job OR tried to make it seem as though I was doing a bad job. I've even had bosses sabotage my work (half the time, though, I caught them before it was too late to fix). However, the other half of my bosses were excellent people. Oddly, there really weren't many in between the two extremes. All young people entering the workforce should be told that many of their bosses will be psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists - and not to take it to heart. Management attracts such people and such people hire and promote such people. Oh, regarding "escalating to the next level": Be careful. Usually the next level and the one above that are just as bad. If you know see the bosses seem to be very friendly with one another, just put out your resume and get out as soon as possible.
#1 is my top reason that I'm leaving my company after a year. I appreciate constructive criticism, but my boss has been critical of nearly everything I do. Not good to build confidence.
I had a manager who messed up everything she touched. She made such a fool out of herself in front of a delivery man that I was ashamed for her. This had to be a unique situation. I felt sorry for her and she sensed it and that made her mad. Bad situation but making things worse she hung with kindred spirits for instance she would smoke her cigarettes in front of the door and you were supposed to be ten feet from said door. The door opened and the smoke wafted throughout the small office building. I lost my job due to a company merger over the objections of the manager of the new company. It was obvious that since the work load doubled two people were needed in the warehouse. Again over the objections of the new manager I was let go. The entire company went belly up five years later with every employee having to walk out the door with no job.
Interesting video. I worked in one place where my boss was hardly there. He wanted me each day give him a list of what I was doing that day - bizarre. No face to face meetings. I even had to ask him who was in charge as the noxious accounts guy acted like he was my boss. The last straw was him sending me an email - a one sentence email - 'please teach the team about customer service'. That's it. No context. It was the worst place I had ever worked in.
Wow this one was a bit of a ride. No wonder I'm basically a complete rebel at this point. I think I've only seen the non-toxic boss once in my entire lifetime and I'm not just talking about jobs
It's always really bad when your boss berates and yells at you over a certain issue even though chances are you could easily hear them when they're using their indoor voice.
OCPD is perhaps the most toxic personality disorder I've encountered in the workplace. They are controlling, hypercritical, self-righteous, and can only see themselves as important in their relationships. Very close to narcissism and often the two are comorbid. Sadly, once an OCPD person or a Narcissist becomes your manager, your only recourse is to play stupid and get another job as soon as possible. OCPD people will waste your ENTIRE career with micromanaged entry level busy work. If nothing improves after talking with the OCPD person's boss and HR, then you are kind of stuck. If they do nothing to correct the OCPD person's behavior, then they likely won't do anything to get rid of you either as long as you play aloofly competent and courteously distant from the OCPD manager. It's called Gray Rocking, and it is a method victims of abuse often use to keep the abuser's rage diffused, so that the victim can plan their escape. Sadly, OCPD and Narcissism are both disorders where the person with the disorder stay in complete denial that the disorder is abusive to others. So when a victim tries to stand-up for themselves, the person with OCPD sees it as disobedience, threatening, etc, and they then double-down on the abuse to exert their deep-seated insecure demand for control. Sick, sick people.
It's time that employers with employees used psychometric and empathy tests to stop narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths being placed in supervisory and management positions over others.
Here, here! 👏💥
I'm in 🤜💥🤛
In sweden where unions has something to say, promotions has to be approved by unions before taken into effect. In practice this means the union calls team member ad asks them if they approve the promotion. If someone or all says no, they will stop it. It is not fault proof, but I think it helps.
My father had a nasty conflict with a manager, and it got escalated. Union stepped in an mediated. 5 years later this manager got another offer as an even higher manager in the same company, but the conflict with my father wasn't the only one, there were more people harassed by him. So this time the union said stop, they had a track record of this guy being an absolute arse hole. and that put his career to an end.
@@MikeKay1978 The Neoliberal profit driven, anti-union and anti-worker culture of privatisation and the free market with associated management culture has been promoted in the UK since 1979.
@@safirahmed That is fine as long as they pay a premium for that neoliberal setup. For a worker all changes has resulted in additional risk, with no financial compensation for that risk. it means that while companies can run much more easily hire and fire people as they go, the risk workers have to take decreases the purchasing power. Companies have to do it that way otherwise they cannot remain competetive. and they cannot remain competetive because of the hidden hand, the state. Yes state and taxes is the root cause. The state sits there quitely pitting people against companies, when in fact it is the state that is the major villain.
I’ve had an extremely toxic supervisor. DO NOT STAY. Your mental health is a priority. Even if jobs are hard to find you will find one.
Has anyone ever noticed that those with Narcissistic personality disorder seem to float to the top? They exude false confidence due to narcissism, and literally never accept accountability for mistakes and blame shift onto others.
Yep.
1. Provided little to no training or guidance
2. Ideas are shot down or ridiculed
3. Little to no support
5. No one-on-ones and not included in meetings
6. No collaboration only mandates
Mostly, the culture is bad.
Oh my God, my last job was so much this. I thought they were just shorthanded but the more I learned about my boss the more I realized she just didn't want to deal with me AT ALL. I was used in my previous jobs to being left alone to have an degree of autonomy but this one just didn't care at all. And she was truly one of the more weaselly people I've dealt with in my working life.
Sounds like they’re mostly hiding behind their own incompetence.
My former supervisor at my last job was literally incapable of offering any kind of praise or encouragement - ''always critical'' was just her thing, like, in life.
My toxic supervisor was exactly like yours, telling me that "we write in red ink around here", and always changing my purchase order quantities with a lecture. She criticized my wardrobe and my short hair cut, calling it "butch".
One of her former staff told me she threw a stapler at him. She had a bad dandruff problem, and left a trail of dandruff. I gave her a bottle of dandruff shampoo for Christmas, which shocked her. I don't think any of her previous employees gave her a present. LOL
@@shqa574 a butch? I’d report that to the EEOC or try the department of labor. That is inappropriate.
@@user-gh8tq3me3m She thought she was the Queen. The executives compained about her for years. She was a V.P.. When they fired her, she refused to leave. Security was outside her door, waiting to escort her out. She called her lawyer. She came to work for a month, and sat in her office, behind closed doors, no longer working. She demanded a retirement party and the company retiree medical benefits, which she was not entitled to, because she was just under 55 years of age. The company gave her a retirement dinner and the retiree medical benefits. It was surreal, but Good Riddance to her.
@@shqa574 Unbelievable. I can't believe they caved in to her demands. I thought my former b*tch boss was the worst but this one takes the cake.
You forgot about bosses who play favorites or assign different rules for different people !! That is also toxic behavior. Please cover this in another video. 🙏
The teacher's pet or the guy who can never seem to do anything wrong. Check their trunk for the gulf clubs.
Absentee/Helicoptering/Toxic/Authoritarian bosses are rampant now. Seems to me, companies need to be setting higher standards and raising the bar on what makes a good leader vs shoving wrong people into a role to hover over the “boots on the ground” people, in hopes of simply passing the noise off to someone else.
absentee/authoritarian. how does that work? care to give example? do you mean the boss who's never there yet always tell you what to do?
One thing I’ve learned is people you work with don’t really care what’s going on in your personal life for the most part. There are exceptions but for the most part, it’s a business, not a charity. I’ve always been annoyed by how bosses and coworkers will act sympathetic and tell you to take as much time as you need after losing a close one, but then after a day or two they expect you to go right back to everything as if nothing happened and almost seem passive-aggressively annoyed at you for being behind on stuff. Your coworkers are not your friends/family. It took me a minute to really understand that.
My last boss was what I call a bungee cord boss. You never see or hear any response from emails/calls for days or weeks, then suddenly drops in, change everything that we were making progress on, cancels/assigns projects and springs back out of there and we are left with the disaster to clean up. This type of boss doesn't realize that they are the obstacle to getting things done.
Like flying a rocket halfway to the moon and then get re-routed to Mars and then asks why is it taking so long?
That’s exactly my current scenario!! Never heard this term before!
Yep I had that for a very short period of time it was really frustrating he even came and rearranged my desk for me after I finally got things done being a new person he physically started moving around everything and he took my notebook and started taking notes really aggressively about what I should be doing it was very childish and manipulative that made him look like he was actually on top of the situation but he wasn't
@@gigid9606 A boss that treats you like a child is one of the worse. Total lack of respect.
Exactly!! Spot on!
I've heard this kind of boss called a pelican boss. Just like a pelican they will swoop in out of nowhere, unannounced and uninvited, squawk and make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, and then fly away leaving you to deal with the mess. 😆
This was an amazing watch. I just QUIT a job with a toxic boss in a production environment. I'm now doing something else and it's amazing how much less stress I have going on. I'm so much happier.
Happy to hear this! How are things for you now?
Seems like traits of a toxic boss also share similar traits of a narcissist
BINGO 💥
Because the corporate world rewards them
The military has tons of toxic bosses.But you are in a toxic environment and you can’t leave.
I’m definitely in a toxic work environment:
•I’ve had 4 different supervisors in 1 year
•I can’t pushback on additional work assignments. I’ve brought up numerous times where I’m at capacity due to bandwidth with current engagements, but the work gets assigned anyway.
• I regularly experience unclear expectations and absolutely no direction from my supervisor. I cannot reach out for questions. I’ve been told to come with solutions first before asking. If i knew the solution I wouldn't ask…I’ve asked for specific examples of when to bring solutions versus when to reach out for support. As expected, I didn’t receive a clear response on this.
•I’m unable to achieve work life balance. I’ve brought up times where I’ve worked into the 10pm hour (due to those additional work assignments that I attempted to pushback on). I was told the following: “this is the busy season, this is how it is and you have to just deal with it. You can’t always stop working at 5pm”. Additionally, i wasn’t allowed to comp/flex the weekend hours that I worked.
•I experience zero support from my supervisor when they’re copied on emails where I’m dealing with unresponsiveness or need to escalate emails from key stakeholders. These individuals are never held accountable, yet all the blame is regularly placed on me.
My exit plan is already in motion, and I won’t look back after I’ve left this hell on earth called work.
This is the definition of a must leave scenario.
😔😔
Is the reason your bosses don't have answers because they are not qualified? Have you've gone over their head with the same questions. But of course have proof that your boss was no help.
Oh, so you work at Sephora?!
Dude, keep it, work your 8 hours and don't give a hooter what happens to the company.
I had a manager that constantly said "look at me" in meetings. She was ridiculous and immature.
Happened to me today. She told me to look at her and to listen to her. The result is I’m even more confused as to what she wants from me. She was talking about trees and forest. 😂
I’d reply without hesitation: “I’d rather not” and let everyone laugh. You might get fired, reassigned or perhaps experience a psychotic meltdown of epic proportions from someone you expected to be more professional. Either way, it would be worth it.
Look at me 🤔ok lol😑😬😡😅
I would of said, i can hear you just fine. I don't need to look at you.
The Madam, as I called her, used to say, "Understand this" and "Look at me".🤣🤣🤣
So, the key factor is whether the boss is insecure.
Or megalomaniacal!
Oh yeah. Some of them are in it for the power -- which is pretty pathetic since that speaks volumes about their normal life -- but most of them are fearful of their own positions and decide that they need to lock you down so they can keep their own jobs. Which is indeed quite sad since it speaks volumes about how they can't do their job, much less anything regarding managing people.
I had a boss that was never around. Thats pretty toxic. Its like being in a relationship and never meeting up with someone
I worked a temporary armed federal contract post. Mainly in 2022 to spring 2023. The security firm mgr only met me 1x. Once for about 20min. He used text, email most of the time. The problem was the guy acted like a 14yr old girl. I seriously thought at 1 point he was either a alcoholic or a coke head. He'd text me at 630am 🤔 . Send texts like- wrong number, email me only, stop using the cell number, use this app only, multiple people see these texts. 🤷🏻♂️
Wow, my former employer hit every single one of these points. I stayed there way too long. It's definitely refreshing being in a workplace now that doesn't check any of these boxes, let alone all of them
Same! I worked 17 years for a small company where my boss (wife of the owner) was like this. The pay and benefits were top notch, which is why I stayed so long.
Good God! I'm glad you're out of that nonsense.
I'm sooo grateful for my now supervisor. I've had so many terrible ones.
@@lovelyletter7460 I stayed at my final job for almost nineteen years. Only five of those years were pleasant. I endured toxic and backstabbing supervisor divas. The two benefits... 1) I watched them leave the company and 2) I walked away with a lump sum pension payment.
Move goals frequently
Micro management
Bosses not available
Giving negative feedback in public then private
Not getting clear direction
Your ideas clearly turndown or take credit for your accomplishment
Dont take responsibility and can throw you under bus
No professional boundaries
I had a manager who at least once a week would stand by my desk, in full view of the other employees, and ask me for the status of an order while his fists were clenched to his side and his muscles flexed, like he was steaming mad and ready for a fight. By the way, we had an order tracking system that I updated perfectly so he could have checked that.
I have a boss that micromanges, but is never around when needed. She steals people's ideas and passes them off as her own. Also, she has favorites that she does not hold to the same standards.
My boss also owner of the company is a liar, self centered, condescending and narcissist (called by customers) blames others for his mistakes, doesn't want to admit he makes mistakes or that hes wrong, thinks he's the only person in the company that works hard (he doesnt), doesn't want to listen to others opinions to improve the company, calls during day offs, favors his daughter (also work in the company) even when she jeopardizes the company at one point, and never communicates with his employees like he's doing his own thing! I also get underpaid. I'm sorry. I really need to vent and it's draining me emotionally and physically. I'm quitting this job once I find a new one
The best way to put these people in their place is to get extremely good at what you do and let others know as well and have an abundance mindset where if they decide to let you go, it will be ok. I have been in this position before and I simply just told them that if I am not performing and doing what I am supposed to then they can hand me my papers right then and there. Pretty sure I have a target on my back but it is all good, I can always find something else. My main thing is not being disrespected and taking it. I have seen this time and time again and people just take it. I have been in put in positions where I am being singled out in major meetings and I just give them my take on it in a professional manner. That throws them off cause they expect a different reaction.
I also completely disconnect on my days off... if they can't wait, they can pay me extra.
Don’t be a boss, be a leader.
Don't work hard, work SMART!
Expectation: work hard and you will succeed
Reality:
The reality us that you can get backstabbed by your supervisor, which happened to me.
Fortunately, I’ve only one toxic boss situation where my Supervisor berated me numerous times in front off my fellow peers in a loud tone. I guess every one around got the message. Worst part about it is that I had to act professional.
That happened to me as well. Sadly, it was in front of the whole office. The people in the office apologized for my boss (I don't think he was capable of caring for others). I knew at that point I had to leave.
@@Andrew-3445 It's best to leave because the situation won't get better.
@@jimkoney4200 I left last year and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
That happened to me when I was in school. A toxic 666 teacher berated me in front of the school and class on three occasions. The final occasion backfired. She didn't realize she was having a meltdown in front of the class. She vanished during the school vacation period. The problem was that the principal was her very good friend, so how could anyone complain about her?
I once had a manager that told me that my biggest defect was that I helped my colleagues and I was sabotaging their growing by assisting them instead of letting them be independent. Toxic AF
My former boss was every one of these things. 😞
About leaving in the middle of a meeting, I did the exact same thing. Performance meeting with the team lead, supposed to be 15-30 min to go over the good and need for more focus, but in the middle, a regular phone call comes in family, and I left after two minutes of impatience. Indeed, people should not be afraid to start the mental journey to decide to leave as soon as possible and stop the denial.
my wife works in a toxic work place, there was even an investigation(the country where i live has a ministry of work that is supposed to check into to these kinds of things and depending on their findings the business can get fined for a toxic work place/have to make changes). She even helped lead the investigation but her coworkers have basically normalized working in a toxic environment and were disinterested in participating, so the investigation led to nothing. The stupidest part is that this investigation was last year and this year its gotten even worse. Fortunately my wife can mostly avoid her bosses and coworkers, but some of the stories she hears about are so ridiculous and could have been avoided if her coworkers actually honestly participated in the investigation. I think this highlights a problem, which is people normalizing toxic behaviors. Not just at work, but everywhere. If you don't stand up for yourself, nobody will.
From the very beginning of my new career job I was so excited and then I sensed a bunch of weird things happening just to me individually and I think other people knew how to cope with my boss but no one told me I never got to know anybody that well I reported him a few times in a way that I was asking if certain things were normal to HR and they were taking notes but I sensed the things were wrong long story short I ended up being let go by my boss who said I didn't know how to do my job and HR got involved and gave me 2 months severance I would have rather have the job but I had no way of knowing if I would have ended up leaving anyway so at least I got compensated for the way my boss was acting
@@gigid9606 That happened to me as well, I was in a place where I wasnt given clear direction on what to do. I was told to try this and try that and everything I tried was wrong. Also, things that I did that werent done exactly the way that my manager expected them to be done were considered to be mistakes and were reported directly to executives.
One day the executives sat me down and basically told me they couldnt teach me the basics and that was the last straw... I've been doing this for 10 years and now all of a sudden I'm told I dont even know the basics. I resigned after a month, you are basically setup to fail in that environment and nothing you do will be good enough.
The company also has a high turnover as another person from my team that's been working there longer also resigned. Two people resigning at the same time in a 4 man team, thats not a good look.
I hope she left the lousy place by now
My work environment is so toxic I am close to quitting since I am sorrounded by idiots who judge each other all day long.
Going through this for four years and I finally Reported this woman! No job is worth your sanity !!!
Don't mean to be sexist but I notice a trend of a toxic work environment to be attributed by a female boss. I stand to be corrected and or educated.
@@impartialvoice1080 that has been my experience.
This video couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. I literally just got out of a performance appraisal where my boss gave me a slightly above average score. I don’t know if this was the right thing to do or not, but I had to defend myself throughout the entire appraisal. I had to constantly remind him that I was doing so much for the team and the company as a whole that I was working overtime practically every single day to get things done. I was picking up projects that I never got any help or support for, (and that nobody wanted to do) and his critique was that I was hardly available to answer phone calls or take tickets for smaller issues that were going on. However, this is all due to the fact that I had taken on SO MANY projects that I was doing all by myself.
I’m just stunned right now, like it’s literally a lose lose situation for me at this point.
If you have to defend yourself, your boss is not being very supportive. One thing is pointing areas where you can grow, a different one is negating your actual performance. I hope it gets better for you.
My recommendations are
1/ Stop taking on any project not actually assigned to you
2/ Polish your résumé.
Thank you uacbpa! So true, he never really gave me any indication of what or how I can do better. And you’re absolutely right Rob. I thought by taking on so much work, that I would be helping my boss and my company to achieve more. I also wanted to continue to grow and learn more so that I can become even better in my career. I thought this would translate to me climbing up within the company. Now I know that that’s not the case. Definitely going to start polishing my resume.
If you dont single handedly bring in $600k for the company you are failing.
I've personally experienced several of these toxic boss behaviors, specifically:
-Being berated in front of co-workers during staff meetings
-Providing little or no training in what I'm supposed to do and yet at the same time...
-Being extremely micro-managing and telling me specifically what to do and how to do it, after failing to provide me sufficient direction
-Lack of boundaries (emails on weekend mornings, texts in the evenings and on weekends telling me that something needed to be done right away)
-Enabling bullying by other co-workers who were deemed "valuable" to the company
I could go on. I just find it astonishing that some people think this is the way to treat people.
I find it astonishing that these toxic bullies have jobs at all, nevermind jobs where they manage other people. It speaks to very bad senior management.
That is exactly the shit hole that I left. The ceo was the biggest bully I have ever met.
Whoa! This feels exactly what I am going through right now!!! I am glad to know I am not alone. I'm starting my new job search tonight!!!
Satan rules in this world
So True
I had a boss that was never involved early in my career. It was definitely a handicap because he knew nothing about what I did and I even received an undeserved bad review. Minor mistakes overshadowed the mountain of work I accomplished.
You just described my VP boss and how she is treating me. Micromanaging me, eavesdrops on all my conservations, subtlety puts me down and praises herself every time we meet, secretly listed my job and hired the person over me and yet hasn’t fired me yet…rolls her eyes or is critical in meetings, …just miserable but I haven’t been let go. I’m 60 and this is a high paying job so I am working hard despite her .
I work in IT and thank you for this. It let me know my current employer is very toxic and now I don't feel bad rage applying to any other similar IT job.
My boss is funny and brings a lot of laughter. However, she also makes fun of me and others in front of the group. I know she's "just joking" but it rubs me the wrong way. I'm actually fairly new so for her to have the boldness to be so outspoken amazes me. Maybe I'm being too sensitive I don't know.
Ask your coworkers if this is commonplace. Consider bringing your concerns to HR for harassment as a last resort.
Sorry to hear about this. I’m 4 days in a new one and I will start submitting applications to other places.
She is being manipulative. Some bosses think they are exempt from the company harassment policy.
You have reason to be cautious. You never know how much "joking" she's really being serious about.
One sign after another, I can’t tell you who I was before starting and how anxiety riddled I became. Low and behold handing in my resignation also proved my tedious as I was guilted for making a choice that will allow me to come back to myself. Strong, confident, reassured of my skills and competencies as a leader (that was purposely withheld as I started to climb)
Always reclaim your power and get out when you notice the red flags.
I'm really good at what I do, which is why I am often given the "problem projects" to fix what other people screwed up. It takes twice as long to undo their mistakes and then make it presentable than it would have taken to do it from scratch. Because of this, I end up getting reprimanded for being "too slow." Right now, I'm having to take extra time away from my task to compose an email every day detailing exactly what I'm doing on a minute by minute basis, so that they can figure out how best to "deal with me." This is after spending the last year and a half creating templates and writing code for their programs (which is not in my job description) at NO ADDITIONAL COST to them. I have yet to hear anyone in upper management praise my work, thank me, or even mention my name. Needless to say, I feel very exploited and unappreciated while they are ACTIVELY going after me for my low production numbers. I don't want to look for another job due to health issues, so I am terrified that this will culminate in me losing my job in one way or another. I don't think you mentioned this particular situation, but to me it feels very toxic.
Thank you for this video! This resonated with me and my experiences. After my husband died, our small business we ran died too. Last year I got an Insurance License here in Texas, and have attempted to work for 4 different companies. Two I never made a cent at, and two Agents that were so impatient and critical of me daily, that I couldn't emotionally handle it. Aside from temp work, and low quality low pay positions with Managers that are non-communicative, I am at a loss as to my professional future. Mix in not fitting the culture, and not being vaccinated for covid, I haven't had a pay check in 3 months. Tough times!
Hang in there
Gadzooks! Are you in Austin by chance? Very Click-y environment that’s for sure. I also am not vaccinated ❤Praying you find your niche
This year, I spent just over 3 months working at a smaller company and dealt with an operations manager like this along with the two managers under him who did little to support me or give me unsolicited feedback. This was after leaving a, larger company that restructured, now I'm at a great job that functions more "normally". Man, that 3 months just left me feeling horrible.
U know something’s up when your boss feels the unrealistic expectations being more more more to the point he’ll say out loud what a fucked up place
I’m looking at a assistant director position very soon and your video helped me know how to treat employees and where to fix communication issues:)
As far as the boss that doesn't respect work/life boundaries and calls you during off time? I just don't answer the call or text. You'll catch me when I'm on the clock.
I used to have a boss who would micromanage and shadow my work in public. Should've really seen such red flags in front of me. So the boss I have now respects and has faith in me and giving me constructive feedback as needed in order to motivate as opposed to talking down to me.
It's terrible how so many bad bosses/supervisors get those positions, and if their boss keeps them their that's worse yet.. ceo's should clean house and personally recognize good employees and bad ones.. a successful employee is a great asset to any company big or small..
Well said. My current lead at work is one who tends to take things for granted and expects me to be available for work 24/7. I often got his calls on work matters during my off work time and off days for non urgent matters and he had even requests me to cancel my leaves and come back to work for something non urgent. When I put in effort he does not recognise and scold me hard for even thr slightest mistake. Nowadays I just block his contacts during my off days... Anyway I don't intend to work for him for long.
I've got a boss that just finds fault in everything I do just because he obviously doesn't like me. it just comes across as imbecilic and I'm glad he isn't my immediate supervisor. I just ignore him. He may be my boss but to me he's just a loser.
If you haven’t, could you please do an in depth course on how NOT to end up in toxic work places and relationships in general and what we should be looking for in a healthy atmosphere?
It took me a while to come to terms but leadership in general where I work at suffers from many of these. I actually think micromanaging is one of the worst, especially so if tue boss is a master delegator who is always asking to be updated about projects but never steps in to actively get involved.
If you stand up for your professional integrity and leave for a position with a different company, the Toxic Boss will still attempt to portray you as responsible for everything going wrong. Just because you are gone they won't stop being a shitheel.
True, in my skitty toxic workplace the employees were mouths_hitting over one guy that left before i came and have continued when i left few years later.
One day i have checked his profile- the problem was he has seen them through out immediately and was many levels above the average mouthsh_itter.
I just came from a company that had the worst management. The cro and vp didn’t have the experience that the staff did. They micromanaged, lied, stole ideas and basically BS’d their way through the job. Everyone knew it. It takes one person to ruin a culture. CRO hired all of his friends who took reps away from actually doing their job. Overt favoritism and would set his favorites up for success and others to fail. He would lie behind the scenes and act like he was supporting you to HR and upper management. He knew how to play the game. What’s ironic is that he claims to be so religious. I am also noticing that younger males are getting positions in mgmt that they aren’t qualified for and it shows
I have had a boss that is overly critical and at the same time gives compliments. Really a gaslighting boss. Never know what reaction to get from them.
My toxic bosses would attack the staff individually. When we didn't hear from them, it was still gaslighting.
I always make it a strong point to develop a good relationship with your direct manager and his/her manager because if your manager turns out to be a toxic jerkoff, his/her direct manager may be an awesome person who you can count on should you decide to leave and need a professional reference. I found myself in this very situation recently where my former manager wasn't very liked among my team due to his excessive micromanagement and berating team members in public, but his manager was a very well respected person who we all liked and relied on for good professional references. In the course of a year, our former team all dispanded and left for greener pastures and not one of us asked our direct manager for a reference, but instead we all flocked to his manager, the former director, for a reference and we were all given stellar reviews.
My boss followed me to the ladies room. He stood at the door looking at his watch. I've never misused my potty breaks.
Later he went through the drawer where I kept my purse. Nothing was in that drawer but my purse. When I complained to HR she said "the cabinet belongs to the company."
One morning he screamed at me relentlessly and pounded on his desk. He screamed that he woke up late, couldn't find his keys, then the car wouldn't start. Upon coming into work he was reprimanded by his boss. I told him not to take it out on me then walked away.
I complained to HR and she said she only heard me screaming. I was then fired!
I’m so sorry it got to that and he treated you that way hun 😞 But you are better off!! Trust me. Boss sounds lying, maliciously dysregulated. And it sounds like it’s the workplace environment too w HR 🤢
@@SEAndies Thx!
The HR person was a so called 'work friend' of mine.
The manager I spoke about got fired a couple weeks later. He forgot to order some critical parts for the company.
I worked briefly as a janitor, cleaner in a large medical center. The older lady I worked with told me of a 🏢 job she once had with a cleaning woman who had a on going spat over 🗑. I said if a office employee came up to me saying nonsense about trying to catch a maid cleaning trash or hide stuff around a office bin, I'd fire that worker! They can go screw around playing games & pranks on other house keepers, cleaners. They obviously never did any office work.
"Let me guess - you clicked on this video because you're going through a thing at work and you're wondering if it's just you".
Ha-ha, your guess couldn't be more wrong, -1 to oracle reputation :) . Jokes aside, I find information you provide very valuable.
Your video gave me another reason to appreciate my boss. Every attribute of the toxic boss you presented - he is an opposite of.
Unfortunately, he will likely retire in a few years, and is already being pushed aside; so I still need to have my resume dusted and polished.
My boss's boss's boss's, the biggest grandiose narcissist I'd ever seen, went around tattling on me with her assistant like a junior high bully gang for playing chess at my desk .. what she failed to mention was that I had been complaining daily about an inability to do my job, at all, because senior management was stonewalling requests to repair our broken environment in what I now believe was deliberate sabotage to replace me and my department with people she perceived as loyal to her from before the company merger.
When I was ultimately laid off, let's just say, I wasn't surprised.
I ignored an exodus of former peers taking other jobs (willingly) in the year before my dismissal. In retrospect, they knew something I didn't
My previous boss kept asking me what I was doing to "lose that weight" and constantly berated me for being stupid (ie not having the gift of ESP).
New boss yelled at me twice in my first week of a new job
I've got one... You send your executive an email with a document that had a few errors you missed and they laugh about it with another sr manager and then tell you to fix it. That's it. Doesn't say what they see is wrong because it's not her job to tell you what's wrong, you should just know 🤦🏿♀️
Bryan, thank you SO MUCH for this video. The problem I had at a previous job now has a name. I felt like something was not quite right there. Now I know it was not me. Again, thank you!
Well done. Your point by point illustrations of what constitutes a "Toxic Leader" are very helpful for someone who may be in those circumstances. I plan to show your video in my MBA class on Ethics and Management. Thank you.
I had a boss like this. The one thing toxic bosses often have in common is they're good at getting the people they need to be on their side on their side. They're all about controlling how other people see them so while you may see how toxic they are, others think they're just wonderful. It sucks so much that companies let these demons rule.
Texting me on days off
Coworkers sleeping and playing on phones
Fails to answer some of my emails
No discipline or leadership
Giving me more and more work while others goof off
Telling me for almost 3 years that they are hiring someone to help me, but haven't even posted the job
Run away!!! Chose wisely not to repeat the same mistakes. I had the same experience. I have thought i have endured so long i will just stay a little bit longer. It is always better to search and chose when you are employed.
But when it is critical to your health and or you can afford it financially just quit and calm down.
Desperation is difficult to hide during the interview and it works against you.
@@QwertyUiop-xd8tb thank you for the advice
I was let go from my job three days after I buried my grandpa. My boss and senior coworkers fit most of these signs to the point where I was relieved to be let go. The whole environment made me feel very negative about myself and adding the grief of losing my grandpa really left me hurting. I'm not sure how long until I can trust working for another company. Its just insane.
My boss ticked almost every box he listed and I'm done coming home in either a panic attack or crying.
@220. That’s the boss I want. Leaves me alone and makes me write my own performance evaluation !
At what point in one's career do you accept that they pay you enough to put up with toxic bosses or that your job role/title means that accepting some toxic behaviours is par for the course? To me once you're a VP it's almost assured that you will not be receiving good coaching, feedback, will get texts out of hours to produce work, and have to deal with bullies above you. Sad trade off some people have to make, I haven't come across a lot of companies where the top layers aren't full of toxic bullies.
Some of us will forfeit a paycheck to afford a sane mind. I guess working for oneself must be the answer? 😐
Giant red flag: nepotism arrangements. When the boss' wife/husband works in the office. Especially if they're not qualified for the role. Run far, far away and don't ever accept the job. Nothing good ever comes out of that. Or any form of nepotism really (friends, family members, etc). You, as the employee, will always be "wrong". Not to mention, if you have a legitimate complaint about a spouse, you can't exactly bring that up to the boss. Nepotism harms morale in the office and is a sure sign of a toxic place to work.
Yes, unless the $$$ is great or part time, avoid family type places or couples. This is a bad dynamic. Nothing you say or do will be + or good.
I have job hopped a bit due to this problem, and it's completely worth the effort to make a move, because if there's a toxic boss who's consistently tolerated by senior management, there's usually a toxic overall culture underpinning that tolerance.
This guy just described like 80% of corporate management
Nailed every quality of my previous manager in this video. Not to mention I was their ONLY maintenance technician for 3 buildings. Especially the unethical portion. On the third day of my new job, my previous manager, called me after hours without a Hi, Hello, How's the new job. Just went straight in to talking about work as if I did something wrong when they cancelled appointments themselves prior to me leaving. So glad I left that place.
What should one do if fairly new…like three weeks in and I’m already being micromanaged. When is the best time to quit my job?
Yep. Several of these applied. It affected my day to day life to the point where I fell into depression. Thankfully I'm now out after a bad transition month and in greener pastures.
Lol got micromanaged on order entry when we were incessantly out of stock on items. Did I make mistakes? Sure did. Did I get praise constantly improving getting it right? Nope. Did marketing and the office manager shift blame on me? Sure did. Was the director of operations inspiring or motiving? Nope. Was he Michael Scott gossiping and trying to be liked by everyone instead of leading by example? Sure was.
At my last job, I was Reprimanded in public for a Privacy Breach. Things like this happen. It's not good either, but damn. Take people to a conference room for this crap. Same supervisor shouts at someone else, "Hey can you go into the system and accept the error you received?"
Your videos are so informative. thanks
I just started at a new dept.
What bothers me is when one of my supervisors is laughing with others, but never with me, or even worse starting a conversation in English with others then switch in the middle of conversation to their language that I don't understand and sometimes end of the conversation goes back to English.
Wow all the points point toward my new boss
What an eye opener
Thanks for this
I have a similar thing going on with me. My schedules is always being changed in a whim to make me go work on projects that have nothing to do with the position i applied for.
I've sadly had all these bosses at some point. My current boss is the absentee boss and Bryan's example is spot on. Nowhere to be found, no guidance, no feedback, no projects, no team, cancels every meeting, and lets me know either subtly or not-so-subtly that he doesn't care I exist and doesn't want to be bothered. You'd think a non-boss would be a field day in a salaried position but the terrible boredom and message of unvalue feels awful. There's only so much "professional development" someone can do while being perpetually on-call.
Love how your deliver your messages. Very concise.
All you bosses need to change your ways before you lose all your staff. Stop mistreating your workers who are the true sources of your livelihoods
Been there...never again! I worked at two consecutive jobs with toxic bosses, who targeted each department employee, other company employees and the external vendors. The first boss vanished without a trace after a HR investigation involving a complaint by his male subordinate. Karma backbite!
I had interviewed with the second boss years prior, where she took a personal phone call in French language for twenty minutes. She hired someone else, who quit five months later. She called me out of the blue, and without identifying herself, she told me to meet her for lunch, so I could get to know what kind of person she was. It was all about HER. I figured out she wanted to hire me, and I lied about accepting a job offer. Six years later, I interviewed for the same job, with her Assisant Director as the direct report, and took it. Bad mistake! I wanted to quit the job for the first six months, but miracles of miracles... they terminated her VP job three years later. Karma backbite!
I have a manager that I have to play incredibly robotic around, and do most of my work in secret. I had been at the company for 15 years before he became my manager. I was taking part-time classed for 5 years in a row to get my degree, and his first week as manager he became extremely agitated that I was taking classes to the point that he demanded I called before and after class to check-in. He put himself first in our relationship so intensely that I took a break from my degree work thinking his behavior was from being new. He never improved, and I never got my foot back in the door of school. Talking with him made things worse, talking to his boss led nowhere, talking to HR led me to applying for other jobs, and without the degree it felt impossible to get an equitable position in my field at my age. I regret that I didn't stick out the degree progress and just complete ignore him and let him flame out, but I had never experienced and OCPD abuser before.
That is really sad. Maybe try to find if in your field it is possible to get certs instead of complete schooling? If you have already some experience you can save up and prepre yourself. How do you think?
@@QwertyUiop-xd8tb That is a great idea, Qwerty Uiop. The CEO casually called him out on micromanaging me in front of him today. That was unexpected. I do love LinkedIn Learning courses, and I could at least start there and stack up my certificates and a good portfolio. Ruminating on the abuse isn't going to get me anywhere. Thanks for the Pep Talk!
I was told once that I didn't seem very dedicated to the company because I took a day off for my grandmothers funeral. I had worked 110 hours a week the 3 previous weeks. I left that job as soon as possible.
It's better to be feared, than loved. That can be accomplished as a subordinate.
You just described every boss I’ve ever had 😅
This sums up the car business as a whole. Constant micromanaging, changing play plan packages (which goals are less attainable each time), management belittling sales staff in front of customers or meetings, and a boss thats never there or doesn’t have time to talk to you. Glad I’m out of the car business.
Hmmm how about grocery retail
I had a narcissistic boss/company owner who negated everything I did at the very same time that everyone else in the company was delighted with my performance and the way in which I was providing innovations that made their own jobs safer, faster and easier, and was getting work done within a day which my predecessor would take weeks to complete.
I stayed eleven months before quitting on the spot. I did so after a particularly awful interaction with him but I delayed my departure until it suited me. Being in a fulltime postion but paid on a casual basis meant I didn't have to give any notice so that backfired on him.
The person who took over my position lasted two weeks. I'm pretty sure I overstayed that job by about ten months.
The owner at my company doesn't understand IT 100% but wants to make the major decisions but at the same time, she's delayed at making them. Takes forever to get anything approved/done. Everyone in the IT department vented the other day and basically said the same thing that if we had other options, we'd have left the company by now.
Whoa, yes I've experienced the look over shoulder so much, by the manager & owner. The manager stood so close to me that I could smell his bad breath. And there are times the owner belittled the manager and myself, my co workers just thought this was so normal. Half of the times it felt like I was walking into the Twilight Zone.
In almost five decades of work, about half of my bosses were lying jerks who would not let me do a good job OR tried to make it seem as though I was doing a bad job. I've even had bosses sabotage my work (half the time, though, I caught them before it was too late to fix). However, the other half of my bosses were excellent people. Oddly, there really weren't many in between the two extremes. All young people entering the workforce should be told that many of their bosses will be psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists - and not to take it to heart. Management attracts such people and such people hire and promote such people.
Oh, regarding "escalating to the next level": Be careful. Usually the next level and the one above that are just as bad. If you know see the bosses seem to be very friendly with one another, just put out your resume and get out as soon as possible.
#1 is my top reason that I'm leaving my company after a year. I appreciate constructive criticism, but my boss has been critical of nearly everything I do. Not good to build confidence.
Everything you just said applies to my boss, and my boss' boss, and my boss' boss' boss... I think I'm working for a toxic company
I had a manager who messed up everything she touched. She made such a fool out of herself in front of a delivery man that I was ashamed for her. This had to be a unique situation. I felt sorry for her and she sensed it and that made her mad. Bad situation but making things worse she hung with kindred spirits for instance she would smoke her cigarettes in front of the door and you were supposed to be ten feet from said door. The door opened and the smoke wafted throughout the small office building. I lost my job due to a company merger over the objections of the manager of the new company. It was obvious that since the work load doubled two people were needed in the warehouse. Again over the objections of the new manager I was let go. The entire company went belly up five years later with every employee having to walk out the door with no job.
Interesting video. I worked in one place where my boss was hardly there. He wanted me each day give him a list of what I was doing that day - bizarre. No face to face meetings. I even had to ask him who was in charge as the noxious accounts guy acted like he was my boss. The last straw was him sending me an email - a one sentence email - 'please teach the team about customer service'. That's it. No context. It was the worst place I had ever worked in.
Wow this one was a bit of a ride. No wonder I'm basically a complete rebel at this point. I think I've only seen the non-toxic boss once in my entire lifetime and I'm not just talking about jobs
It's always really bad when your boss berates and yells at you over a certain issue even though chances are you could easily hear them when they're using their indoor voice.
This is such an informative video
OCPD is perhaps the most toxic personality disorder I've encountered in the workplace. They are controlling, hypercritical, self-righteous, and can only see themselves as important in their relationships. Very close to narcissism and often the two are comorbid. Sadly, once an OCPD person or a Narcissist becomes your manager, your only recourse is to play stupid and get another job as soon as possible. OCPD people will waste your ENTIRE career with micromanaged entry level busy work. If nothing improves after talking with the OCPD person's boss and HR, then you are kind of stuck. If they do nothing to correct the OCPD person's behavior, then they likely won't do anything to get rid of you either as long as you play aloofly competent and courteously distant from the OCPD manager. It's called Gray Rocking, and it is a method victims of abuse often use to keep the abuser's rage diffused, so that the victim can plan their escape. Sadly, OCPD and Narcissism are both disorders where the person with the disorder stay in complete denial that the disorder is abusive to others. So when a victim tries to stand-up for themselves, the person with OCPD sees it as disobedience, threatening, etc, and they then double-down on the abuse to exert their deep-seated insecure demand for control. Sick, sick people.
Beware of a syrupy-sweet voice... Their words are usually very bitter...