I’m a bit sad the guy I like didn’t tell me how he feels, I mean he yelled at my sister when she told him but he’s giving me mixed signals and I’m dizzy
I guess the though thing about this is that for me it is not even about this person, cause I barely know him. It's about the idea of being with SOMEONE who makes me feel the way I felt with that guy the few times we met. But the obsession started before I even met this specific guy who now is my extra trigger because before I just obsessed about yearning for romantic companionship. This video is simply not helping because I already have my passions. I already socialize a lot and share my hobbies. I can't add any more hobbies than I already have and I love them. But once you obsess over something it's hard to stop because you can be doing something else and while it used to be fun at one point, you still can't fully focus anymore on that.
Mental obsession is a habit and habits can be broken easily .if someone know how habits can be broken, as simple as shifting your sleep, meal ,or hobbies timings .,but this one is mainly emotional thing normally, which has to take some time (reaction time to the new case). Extrem pain ,but forever peace.
I‘ve developed a crush on someone I barely know but I‘ve now realized that I fell in love with the idea of this person and not the real person and I‘ve been doing this my whole life. I‘ve never had a relationship and I think I finally know that this is the reason for it. I hope I can change this
@x i love the way u expressed it si honesty. I really wanted to hear something like that the part where u said u r obsessed with the idea of them and not actually loving them. I mean it. This was one of yhe thing i needed rn.
It takes 21 days to get into a habit. Stop watching their shit. Stop talking about them. Stop looking for them. Make room for the person who deserves to be in your life.
But how to stop the inner voice that keep telling Me to "NO don't let him think that he WIN just do somthing " it's a distance relationship so social media is the only way to show and prove him wrong I'm stuck..
@@peacejoy3629 yea but you're draining yourself by doing that. It's best to be mature and just block him on everything. It's tough to do so, but the best decision for yourself and your mental health. Constantly proving yourself to him is obsessive behavior as well. Break out of it and start bettering yourself hun.
@@peacejoy3629 it doesn't matter where he is. Even if you leave and block him, he still wonders what happened to you. Flip the script and he'll be obsessed with you lol just don't get caught up in proving yourself to him. He's a loser, he doesn't deserve to see you.
@@vallymokhlis But now is it normal to don't want any relationship ! and get to know someone ! I wanna stay by myself. Bcz I can't find a good match at an intellectual level . like they fake it *there Intelligence* bcs all what they want is reach my BODY and they're all normalize it . I want deferent. And my bff normalize it too she said* this is humane gurl , so you're not normal you are a robot ! * and keep telling me to spread myself around and be social and have conversations and then I'll have choices to pick the ONE ! But it's unfaithful for me and not loyal at all and kinda b***y thing and waste of energy. I think one person is enough we get to know eachother and then we be official . But she keep pushing me she made think I'm I an alien or what ! Like even when I do like a guy ( we at university in same class) and I feel he likes me back , all I do is make him think that YOU DON'T EXIST like I ignore hiim I don't why I do that 💔 ( and she done that she know someone they're together as couple but she has a crash on too other guys in uni and they text and I see her smile when she read there messages and I beeee shocked ! Like what are you dOinG and she normalized it *she said everyone do that * So mybe I'm the problem
From personal experience, a mental obsession over someone is a sign that I'm neglecting my social health. I've overcome this by meeting new people and attending hangout groups. In the end, it's as if the "crush" was a placeholder for better things to come. Thank you for this video!
thank you for this. I’m going thru the same thing right now and i think it’s because i’m neglecting my social health too. i’m trying to get better but it can be hard sometimes :)
True. If you are destined to be with this crush, it will happen, otherwise it is a sign you mentioned. It is a sign you are missing, want something and this crush is sign to improve yourself, look after your emotional/love life.
Well, it's 1:43 am and I still can't sleep because I keep thinking about that one person. You see, it's easier during the day, I can keep myself busy but what about these long lonely sleepless nights? Moreover, I really don't want to use someone else to get over someone else. I mean yeah I try to make new friends but I feel like it's very forceful from my side while the other person is thinking that it's mutual. I don't want to deceive this new person (probably the person I'm thinking about did the same to me as well)
I wonder how this works. I believe that everything is energy (from one of Nikola Tesla's sayings) but I can't it see as the way it is-- as just energy.
Well, I’ve had big BIG crushes on people I NEVER thought I would get over. But one day, you realize you haven’t thought about that person in a while, and you feel amazing! Free at last!! It can happen for this person too.
How do you do that? It feels such a flaw in my own programming that I feel obsessed to spend time with them, get their attention but I know in fact I'm not even a secondary person in their lives and they have their own daily routines
It’s a relief to know I’m not the only one in this type of situation. I can’t stop thinking about my ex, and it’s so frustrating at times because he’s out there living he’s life, no trace of me, while even though I’m trying to live my life, he’s still present in my mind. We’ve been on and off back then, but it’s been more than two years already. We bumped into each other a couple of times, but haven’t talked in months 😩
Recognising that obsession is a natural response of my brain to an unresolved situation has actually helped me a lot. Because the only thing worse than my obsession is me bashing myself for being so obsessed.
Yes exactly. I have never been obsessively thinking about somebody this much till quarantine hit us. My mind will always more focus to socialize when i have to be around many people so i will not think about that person. But i've been home for weeks so it's so hard to get my mind off that person 😭
@@alezt14 this is really true. and it actually caused me to lose that person the fact that i was so obsessed by having him the way i wanted. I ended up pushing him away. Now i am obsessed even more because he wanna be friends for now. I think i inject also my negative vibes into him and he also lost concentration on things that probably are more important in his life e.g his work and himself. So now I am paying the price of him pulling away and downgrading me for now. He told me that we should continue to talk as a friend and not labeling our relationship right now until everything is back to normal again and that we could meet again. But i guess because of that I am even more obsessed and need his validation to reassure that he will stick with me and that we will work things out. But this is not healthy and I have been watching this vdo more than 3 times in order to understand that I have to let this obsession go and let things work out on its own. i am normally very independent but at this time I guess i really need attention and I overwhelm him with this
The best thing to do is try and keep yourselfs busy 👍. I'm trying to find things to do physically. Sadly just a week before lockdown I heard the girl I liked might be married and has a child. Haven't seen her for 4 years since college but it really hit me and has left me emotionally upset. I'm trying to move on but I get these moments and dreams which don't help along with the subconscious overthinking and fantasy
What to do if we are staying in same building and that too in this quarantine period. Seeing him happy with his wife now everyday. I am getting more obsessed
The fact that we purposely searched for this, means that we have the initiative to get better, and I applause us for it. May we truly achieved what we want in life, as long as it's not to hurt others but always of love. Even I, as typing this is still currently not really "fine", but I'm not just going to give up and let what let me down win. We're all in this together guys! 😊💕
I never knew I was so obsessed until I thought about it. I messaged her despite her wanting space from me. And she has rightfully left me on delivered. I deserve this. I wish I wasn’t so obsessed, but I’ve never felt this cared for in my life by another girl. I feel depressed.
Update on my situation: I have cut her off completely. I’ve realized that this girl doesn’t want me for who I am. Im now incredibly happy and I’m loving my life now :) it may seem impossible, it’s gonna hurt for a while, especially if you loved the girl like I loved mine. But believe me cutting her off is the right decision boys, especially if she isn’t giving you what you need to hear, or if there’s no communication. Stay strong boys!
Believe me, it's just a matter of time. Gradually, as more important things come in your way, you will get over the person, and that will be the best feeling :) You live only once. Don't waste it over someone who doesn't give a damn about you.
Never stop doing the things that are important for you while your are in the middle of an obsession: school/ work/ holiday/ courses etc. The obsession will fade away; your achievements last forever and will make you feel so proud of yourself! Those are the positive things in the dark period of obsession.
I like it: focusing on achieving a goal that helps others, rather than focusing on a particular person that is not treating us all that special. I will remember and use that.
Omg! That's what i needed! I know he senses my energy! I need to stop putting it out there otherwise he'll never wake up! Brilliant! Help me Universe. 🙏
I disagree. I often do the Irish goodbyes at parties and nobody ever notices when I'm gone. At least I assume cuz the next day, people don't ever ask me where I had disappeared to.
Sometimes we create a version of a person that really doesn’t exist. It’s a fantasy of who we want them to be, it’s not the real person. We need to look at the real actions, if someone is not giving you security or solid answers that they want to be with you then the answer is NO. Absence is the best, as stated in the video once your energy is gone from them that’s when they notice. We need to stop giving our energy to the wrong people.
Happened to me. He didn’t give me any information about himself. So I went on a mission to find out who he is via internet. And I developed a massive crush. It took me a year and a month and @Susanwinter to help me recover.
What if you’re obsessed with them for how they make you feel? (not directly, like, them doing things to/for you) For how thinking about them, being reminded of them, things about them makes you feel.. When you love things about them, and not just because of who you want them to be, but who you see them as/the way you see them? I’m sorry if this is confusing, I’m just talking about me being a K-Pop fan, obsessed with an idol and I’ve been trying to “not have him in my life” anymore.. But, and it’s hard to explain, a lot of things just remind me of him, too.. And sometimes, I just don’t know what to do when I see things that remind me of him or triggers me to think about him..
I admire people who can understand that obsessively thinking about someone doesn't lead anywhere and it would be best to forget them. And there's me, who kind of understands this, but also likes the feeling of liking someone. So one part of me wants to forget, the other doesn't. All while knowing it doesn't make sense at all to continue thinking about literally NOTHING.
You might 'kind of like' the feeling because you unconsciously feel you deserve to still be in pain or torturing yourself in some way. Think of the harm you're doing to yourself.
i waited 74 days for someone i was kind of obsessed with for a few months, realised they weren't worth it in the end. leave them when you can, you won't regret it!
This is the real issue, the internal struggle in everyone who goes through that. A part of me wants to delete everything in my memory, totally forget the girl, moving on and not think about her EVER. Then there's this other side who WANTS to think about her because it's pleasing, it's a drug for my mind and it's almost unstoppable. I guess I'm not strong enough to let it go.
I tried the method ignoring him and not feeding him the energy. It has the opposite effect: he keeps coming back. and it's very tempting because I do have feelings for the guy, I will never tell him. He is too full of himself anyways.
I hear you. It is interesting how we can be obsessed with a dream. It is all an illusion. This is a sign that you need to invest more time and energy into your own hobbies.
I feel like my obsession comes from fear and not being able to find anyone else, cus an obsession is always formed when a new attractive person enters into my life (few and far between) that likes me a lot and gives me attentention. I get excited and think I've found "the one", and then my anxiety of potentially losing the person if I do the "wrong thing" persists and changes me in a negative way. Then, they pull away and I plot even harder trying to find a way to pull them back in. I feel like if I can let go of this insecurity in myself, then I can finally be free. Redirecting my obsession seems to be like distracting myself from the real underlying issue that forces me to form that obsession in the first place, when it shouldn't even be there.
Amazing comment. I’m in the middle of trying to stop obsessing about this girl from my gym, I found her on IG and her blogs on TH-cam. I’ll try to stop watching anything about her and and get some new hobbies. 😒
The best way for me to stop obsessing about somebody else, was to start obsessing about myself. Knock them off the pedestal you put them on, and put yourself back there, because that is where you belong.
All those who are here after being left by their one sided love.. God give u peace and a real lover soon. For the time just focus on your smile. And smile for me please :)
That sounds tough my friend. I hope you find something that helps you feel joy. May I suggest something simple as going on a hike in a beautiful remote area?
Here a year on from when I first watched this video, and let me just say I'm sending major love to anyone reading this that's going through a hard time or has major heartbreak right now, a year ago I felt like I'd always be sad and have this person stuck in my mind and it used to tear me up inside, now I barely think of them and am looking at my future, working away in college and aiming to get a better job. If I can do it anyone can! And most importantly TIME HEALS YOUR HEART, it may not feel like it now but you will stop thinking of this person and move on to better things :)
Thank you! I really needed this. This is my first time going through a heartbreak and it’s a really tough one on me. My mental health isn’t so great either and this makes it even worse. I really hope I’m able to get over this soon
@Maryah Muyumyah I’m glad at least one person feels helped:) I promise though things will only get better and you will eventually feel like your old self again, that person didn’t define who you were and they certainly won’t define who you are without them ♥️♥️♥️
thank u so much for this update. Your message was so beautiful and perfectly said! Thank you for taking the time to share it. I'm sure that meant so much to so many people. Hope you got that better job!
Thank you so much your wise words helped a lot i stuck on to the person for more than one year and it's the worst feeling ever I had I still think of him but I hope that one day I will never think of him again 🤞
I have a very imaginative mind since childhood, i used to fantasize something that i know its impossible to achieve or have. When i become adult, this fantasizing continued and was reinforced when i read the book of Paolo Coelho, "The Alchemy" supporting that if we dream of sonething really seriously, the universe will conspire to give us what we want. Now i am an adult life is teaching me that there is an issue in my childhood, its rejection and abandonment, that was unresolved. I have discovered that my fantasizing is a way of escape to whats lacking inside of me. My parents failed to assure me of my self worth and self esteem is low. Thanks to your videos, it awakened me of whats lacking within me. Slowly i will reset myself to heal my childhood issue with the help from God.
it was verarsche to hurt me...... they planned it, they executed it, they trashed me, then they created a wreck, and then they trashed me for being hurt..... planned out strategically executed and finished....... and then it was above all my fault....
He met someone new. I guess my blockage was that: I was there for him when he was at his lowest point in life, encouraged him, pushed him to exercise, showed him to stay positive, etc. I did all that because I really liked him and his sweet words convinced me that we would have an amazing lif together. Now that his life is back on track and his confidence’s back, he abandoned me for someone else. I think my blockage is that he didn’t appreciate what I did for him. He took what he needed and left. I wonder why are some people like this... I learned my lesson.
Wow!!! I'm so sorry! I had that but the other way around...he was going through a tough time and I tried to help him. But he lives with his ex (he always said to me that they broke up because he considered her a friend but had no where else to live so they kept living together). Anyways, because the tough time he was going through I tried to be understanding but after a year and now that he is fine again I decided to talk things with him. His answer was that his life was with the other person and that he rather had me as a friend (of course with benefits)...so I decided to stop that relationship we had because it was going no where and I felt used and played around. He also told me that the other woman was still in love with him but he didn't want anything with her. I never met her but I would love to, just to let her know that I never wanted to hurt her in case the situation did. Because she knew of my existence as he told her once...
How are you doing now? If it helps any, at least you can leave peacefully without the regret that you were in the wrong and that you gave it your best. I still wonder why are some people like that... Why would they say one thing and mean the other? Surely they know that if it were them, they'd feel hurt and used too... so why do it to someone else?
I realised whenever I have a crush/obsession on someone it usually takes the form of daydreaming about a future version of me that is skinnier, prettier, got her shit together, is living life the way I want to etc. I think I do this because I don’t feel like a relationship would be the best for me right now and I definitely have some insecurities about nobody wanting me as a partner. I can’t picture my current self with a partner, it has to be some ideal version of me that I will never be. This version of me will be “finally good enough” to enter into a relationship. I’m definitely going to take your advice on breaking the habit, but I don’t know how to refocus my goals when it seems pretty clear that this fantasy land is serving a dual purpose of relationship fantasy and “ideal future me” fantasy. How do I feel more satisfied with my present self? How do I stop this feeling of not being good enough?
By realizing you are the ideal you, and that somebody if not multiple will see that ideal you. It’s tough, it might be a process of putting yourself out there in a lot of situations but building that confidence will connect with others.
This is why so many people replace an "old"/lost/unrequited love with another instead of working on a better, stronger self. It's a lifelong lesson and not everybody can do it. You're strong enough to do this, focus on yourself, establish healthy boundaries, break habits that don't serve you. In my opinion, you don't need to set a somewhat distant goal in stone. Focus on the process instead.
This was very helpful, I feel kind of embarrassed about thinking in an obssesive way but you didn't make me feel like a crazy person at all & your advice was very helpful
I don't sleep much, eat much or able to concentrate much I can't stop thinking about a guy who doesn't like me as much as I like him. Rejection hurts so much. I realized he was just leading me on and feeding his ego. He knew I liked him and never said at the beginning that he doesn't want a relationship with me of course he told me why but those reasons are strange anyway I'm avoiding him as much as I can but I still love him he does have some good qualities and we do get on pretty well despite everything. Well time to turn my attention to myself now. He'll notice for sure that I'm not around as much but it's his loss. He should've been honest with me before he broke my heart. 😔Thanks Susan good advice.😔
We're in no-contact but seem to be communicating through silence. I'm constantly reminded of him, seeing his name everywhere. It's like I'm grieving, crying everyday, I'm totally obsessed with him, but.........I just can't go back, I just can't. 😩💔
Start a relationship with yourself. I am having obsessive habits. Had them a lot. Love yourself. That's the best option for me. Hope it helps someone. Very helpful video thank you. Much Love all
I'm obsessing over someone that lead me on and when somebody better suddenly came back into their life, she completely went ghost. My flaw is that I always try to find what I did wrong even though people tell me I didn't do anything wrong. It's just a mental habit I need to break.
WOW. I REALLY NEEDED THIS. It’s a mental obsession that’s exhausting for me to live and exhausting for my friends to hear about! I definitely needed that reminder about not keeping them alive energetically. Thank u!
“In any moment on any given day I can measure my wellness by this question: is my attention on loving or is my attention on who isn’t loving me?” -Andrea Gibson
True story...I hadn’t heard from the guy i like and is often on my mind 😂 in two days. Was out running errands when this tall, handsome blonde comes into my line of vision. He very politely approached me and proceeded to apologize for bothering me but needed to tell me he thought I was beautiful and if I would be interested in going to dinner with him. I gave him my number and two hours later he left me a message wondering if I could go out the following night. I told him I was busy so we decided on next week. For the first time in a few weeks the original guy was nowhere on my mind 😂 completely gone. Literally 22 minutes after the new guy called me, out of nowhere the guy I like texts me, i was so so relaxed and laissez faire that I think he sensed it by some of his replies. I swear I truly believe this shift in energy thing. It had happened previously when I went on a date with someone new, had a lovely time and the very next day guy #1 is texting me. Put your energy elsewhere girls, whether it’s volunteering, a new hobby or saying yes to going on a date with a new guy, you never know who’s coming around the corner.
Catherine’s ASMR no, i let him know I just want to be platonic friends and that I wanted to just enjoy going out on dates with other men. He wasn’t happy and acted out for a couple of weeks but he still contacts me in an attempt to take me out on dates but I am enjoying dating new men too much. Still regularly talk to the tall blonde who is a pro rugby player but he lives abroad and although he asked me to be exclusive since our very first date I said no to that as well as long distance relationships are not for me. So I will see him whenever I travel to his country or he comes back, in the meantime we are getting to know each other without any pressure and I like it like that as I tend to run if things progress too quickly.
It's like a hamster in a wheel. Constantly thinking about the person but you know it's not going anywhere. But the feeding energy is so true. You're good Ms. Susan!!!😇💜
This was very well articulated and very helpful. However, I think the final bit of advice risks compromising the whole attempt. It may be true that depriving that person of your presence will increase the chance they will miss you, but I think its a messy game to play. When you are succeeding in not thinking about them/not messaging them, you will have this underlying thought that you are only ignoring them SO THAT they will come to you. It almost increases the obsession because you are anticipating their return. Then, if they don't return, it just hurts and feels helpless. I guess its a double edged sword. But focussing on other goals and spending time DOING stuff that isn't thinking about that person is really good advice to interrupt the habit.
@@bobate6030 I wrote that during a period of infatuation with someone and can confirm the advice of filling your day with other activities which force you to disregard your phone is a good strategy. Smoking 2 cigarettes a day is better than 30.
I agree. I was buying into this but she completely lost me with that last little nugget - a nugget of complete BS IMO. A crazy narcissist discarded me and I am certain is giving me no thought at all. The new rewards supply person is in place and as long as that is the case I remain completely eliminated from the picture. That said, the breaking the habit advice was excellent and she was correct about my inability to sleep. Need more work in those areas.
That is so true! I even get excited when I feel like I have let them go because I „know“ now they are coming back and then I get sad all over again, even more …how can I break this cycle 😭
Yes lol with my ex if he was my ex and I was sad after few weeks felt better and honestly nobody knew this but when I shaved my legs because I felt good again he always began texting me.
@@fleurdelys6102 hahah no he just always contacted me when I had done it very strange. Like when I was sad I didn't shave than when I finally felt better I shaved my legs and than he called again. I tested it when I found out and it was so ahahaha
This was my way of thinking too but i came to the realisation that if i don't let go i'm just investing even MORE time than before into nothing so it's better to stop than add and get nothing in return
Gosh how I wish we could meet each other in real life and all be friends to listen and understand each other bc I FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY!! I became way too attached since we were good friends for many years and she was my crush but ever since January of this year she became so distant and now she no longer looks for me like before…. Turns out She’s now into someone from work and she hangs out with all our mutual friends except me like damn… I’ve tried reaching out since I heard she was struggling with issues but what’s the point if she constantly drowns my attempts? I ended up having more anxiety too. I’m so disappointed in letting myself become so attached to the point that everything I wanted to do was because I always had her in mind in doing those things with. Like i let my life revolve around her and i don’t know how I’ll be able to forgive myself in letting that happen. So now I’m just trying to let go and focus on myself which seems Impossible to do right now. Anyway, how are you guys doing so far? I really hope you all get to find happiness within yourselves in your respective journies:)
Been obsessed with a girl so much even knowing that she only sees me as a friend that I've started to become creepy. Even her friends have noticed it. I really needed this video
Anyone else watch this crying because of how frustrated they are with their own mind because you feel like you've lost your own mind and lost yourself just because of this one person that drives your heart crazy? 😓
If u have that person on social media just remove them, don’t stalk them do something that will benefit you, study read a book just move them out of ur progress in life. Remember we are all in quarantine so you can choose to put ur focus on your goals or that person. I know what ur going through sadly :( I hope u pull through !
1) find something in your life that is more exciting than this person. A passion, a hobby, and achievement. A big goal, helping others. The only way to find your own happiness and your own groundness on things that are more tantalizing than your obsessions. We are creatures of habit.
When the cons outweigh the pros, remind yourself of the cons, deal breakers, disrespect, and toxic treatment that was put on you. It takes time to heal just take it one day at a time and do anything and everything that will make yourself happy no matter how small. Get out of that comfort zone and talk to other men/ women. You WILL be ok. Remind yourself ❤️
My heart starts beating even harder when I think about them. It's so hard to let go when they are the sole thing that makes you go through your day. :(
agreed. My motivation at work, the gym, everything has become solely her in the last week. I feel like my heart will explode when i think of her. The sad part is i've never spoken to her in my life.
@@carl_consumer.of.reality Hey bro it's been two months since I made that comment, and I have to say things definitely get better. I realized that I need to focus on myself and stopped giving a damn about them. I realized that I was much better off without them and could find someone who actually cares about me. Good luck continuing on bro
I hve been having sucidal thoughts coz of him It started with only physical attraction I wanted only hookup Now I wanna kill myself coz I want him forever
@@lotuswolf1518 if he wants you. Do u think he will chose for someone who want to kill him self or someone who is strong and not have psychological problems….?
I can confirm from my own experience that this constant thinking of that specific persons keeps feeding them. I had the same experience in the past that as soon as I stopped thinking about the person for a while, all of a sudden she got in touch with me just as you experienced in on of your previous videos. Not that this is a magic way to get someone back but it is energy you are missing and could use for your own purpose and happiness instead. Your videos always seem to come right on time and are on the spot. Time to shift my focus back to myself. Thank you so much Susan.
So true. In my situation I believe this guy continues his neglect of me b/c he knows he can get away with it. He knows I have feelings for him. He knows the second he calls I will come running. I know I need to change my mindset even though it's very difficult.
Meryl Lumboy-My situation is similar and I know it's difficult to really cut off someone you have feelings for. And, so funny, the same thing has happened to me in the past where I would delete his texts, tell myself I am done and then BAM he would contact me and I'd be back in his web...But soon after he would start w/ the same neglect crap. Like you I need to be firm w/ my decision to finally FINALLY be done w/ this nonsense.
Been there, done that got the T-Shirt. I know it is very hard to burn the bridge but we just have to. If it already starts out like this, while not even starting anything really, imagine if you ever catch that person how he/she is going to behave in a relationship. You are better off without him/her (for now) and we all deserve someone who reciprocates exactly the same interest we are showing. Be strong an stop hurting yourself by inviting those people back into your life. Don't hate them but feel pity with them for what they must have been through themselves to become like this. They need to sort out their own issues and we, why we are still hanging on to someone who is not good for us. Stop looking at the past and what could have been. Set them free and live in the present. You can't change them but you can take the right actions in your own live and do the work needed so you will attract someone who is worth your time and affection. Once you are there, the universe will work it all out - be it with a new partner or eventually the guy/gal you never quite got. Just believe in it. Be strong!
Thank you, BlueWaffles83. I want to print what you wrote and hang it on my wall to read and keep me strong. What really sucks is I have to see this guy at work. It makes the situation much more difficult but I am so tired of the games, tired of feeling used, tired of his broken promises and empty words, tired of feeling like crap.
I recently have this feelings for my co-worker. I soon realized after a while that she never even interested in me. Not in the slightest and that she actually grossed with the thought of me really into her. Then I try to get into my old hobby, which is drawing that makes me happy. Also planning on starting to make soaps, possibly for business. Things have never went so well for me in life. Like a great weight lifted. The key, I think is to find that spark in your life again. Kinda like the one you see in Disney's Soul. The idea that makes you alive, makes you feel happy even from the simplest thing. If we can just take a moment, and live every second for what makes us love ourselves, and not with some unhealthy obssession over someone who don't care about you.
I was obsessed with this dude for 7 years. He never even knew I existed. I set plenty of goals, ended up competed in figure skating and learned classical guitar. Nothing ever helped my obsession. Nothing. Then he died and I'm just trying to figure out why I'm crazy. Oh well.
I always thought fantasy was harmless to me, even providing me with a substitute for what I couldn’t have. I recently realized how harmful and painful it’s been to be indulging in these feelings. Much thanks for your excellent advice ✨🙏✨
So true- removing them from our energetic billboard serves us best as it makes us feel more centered in own life and can spurr "the other " to reach out as they miss our energy feeding them
Thank you Susan for this other great video. Just adding to GalacticWoman's comment: but if they reach out, they'll come back in our system even more powerfully because it's less fantasy and more real. I find that hard to handle. Also, about finding a passion, or a new hobby to center our energy on something else: that too is a great advice, however, after a while, I find I get pround of my new achievements and of course, who do I want to share them with? Haha that's really tough :) Thank you again! It's still very useful advice to hear. Best.
@@SusanWinter hard to stop thinking the man that never promise me anything but the bad thing I'm falling for him can't stop messaging him or call.him to.the point he blocked me or ignored me I feel that I'm being over to my limit hope u help me😢
This video is a life saver for me right now!! Gym and running, that is my focus from now on!! Thinking about this guy literally brings nothing but misery and sadness, but the gym and running positively effect me!! Everytime he pops into my head, I'm just gunna say gym and run (as crazy as that sounds) lol!!
Yes! My health and well being is more important than any person. Also healing and reflecting. Stop chasing ppl, especially these narcissistic types. Who only play mind games and lead you on.
I was a big mess more than a month ago. Everywhere I went, all I could think about was him and I thought it was just in movies that you see other people as him but it also happened 😂. It was ridiculous and painful. I learned to take in the pain and continue my life with it. I experienced chest pains for more than a week after days of breakdown then numbness came after. I'm way better now. I still think about him most hours of everyday, but the feelings is starting to be less intense day by day. I made progress today by waking up and not thinking about him first. Thank you for this video. These are things that we sometimes know, but we still need someone else to slap us with it so that we can wake up.
I am dealing with this kind of situation right now and unfortunately I cannot work on my thesis I'm about to graduate in a few months and it distracts me from my goal I hate it.
The good news is if moving on doesn’t wake them up to the extent you want, you’ll soon forget their asses anyway. Your life is now too fun to keep their memory
Find something that excites you. A passion, a hobbie, an achievement, a big goal, something that involves helping others, and put that as your your primary goal. 🌟 I love that advice.
I once thought about someone who had hurt me very badly, every seconds of my days and fast forward 5 months after the breakup i couldnt care less if he died in a ditch somewhere. Time heals. Be patient and be kind to yourself. You'll forget this person you came to this video for ! :-)
It's especially hard in quarantine,..when you can't see the person you love in person, and they decide to move on, It just drives you nuts!!!!. You keep texting, chatting, and thinking about them finally losing your mind. We must never attach to a person beyond which we can't come back!.
I have a huge crush on this guy and it’s taking over my life and I am starting to make me feel depressed on weekends and all I want is to be at school😭😭 I hope he dose not find this comment
@@journeytrials Ha ha ha ha, hey now that's when you're the most emotional, you haven't been beaten down by the real world and their miserable 'society' yet, the feels are real and shouldn't be taken lightly, as easy as it is to. Do you remember the tiiimmesss?
@@journeytrials I'm 36 as well but our ages and number of heartbreaks are irrelevant. It's what you feel in that moment that matters and that can happen at any age and is actually much more severe in younger years. Your emotional development is growing at that age at an alarming pace, most suicides from heart break are in fact from teenagers and the last time I tried to take my life over heart break indeed was 18. There's no 'well I gotta live for my kids and career' at that age (well..for *most*), and therefore should actually be taken much more seriously in those years and not dismissed as 'ahh pfft young high school crushes don't mean anything, get over it'.
Yea I’m kinda obsessed with a guy at work , but I’m know it’s impossible to act on it so I’m kinda obsessed , but I’m learning that I need to come back to reality and just need to move on with my life and as said in this video focus on goals and other things that make me happy … Update : I decided to leave my job because I felt that mentally it was not healthy for me to stay there since I couldn’t have the person I wanted so I think I made the decision to leave although it was very hurtful I knew it was the best thing for me to continue with my life .
The last part of this totally blew my mind. It made total sense. It made more sense than the belief that if you are constantly thinking about someone it's likely that they are also thinking about you. I've never been convinced of that. For the past 6 months I think about this person every single day. I think about our past, what could've been, how much I'm hurt and still sad. I want to stop bc I accept that it has become an obsession that is not healthy and does not serve me. Not that any obsession is healthy. I now understand that by obsessing about this person they are connected with my energy. I am feeding them a part of me which means they are constantly surround by me without even knowing it. I don't care to remove myself so that they'll return but it makes sense that once I stop they'll probably feel a sense of loss or just feel like energetically we are no longer bonded. I'm glad I found this video. I will begin my new journey today. TY ❤️
This is exactly what I needed to hear! There’s a war in my head with these excessive thoughts ugh. But I’m so glad that I found your channel! I don’t need him on my mind 24/7 especially during this quarantine 😂
This video is so good. This has worked for me. Shift your focus to obsess over something else, a positive, something for you. Also she mentions you’re obsessing over a result happening in the way you want it, it might happen for you but just not how you expect. But it won’t happen until you stop. It’s like you find your keys when you stop looking for them 💁♀️🌸
Sometimes I want to move on and sometimes I don’t. Either way, I know it’s horrible for my mental health and I need to do something about it so I can be more stable.
i recall one obsession i had and i finally asked myself "what does this woman want from me"? (in the knowledge that I had received nothing but anxiety, pain etc for my efforts) I answered the question myself and of course the answer was nothing, from that moment on things changed dramatically and almost overnight my obsession to all intensive purposes vanished, the grim truth is no matter what we do, what we look like, what 'gifts' we give them, and despite any amount of mental and physical energy we devote to this 'target of our desires/obsession' if the spark (on their part) is not there nothing will ignite it. many thanks for your wisdom Susan.
That's not strictly true. When you walk away (no contact) they will remember the effort you put into them. When you meet someone who returns your interest, they will wonder what they missed in you. Let them wonder! They had their chance, and proved they were not worthy of your attention! Never say never.
It’s quite interesting what you are saying about the energy. I noticed my last crush would text me back once i would stop thinking about her. Like she would feel the pressure Thanks for your advices
It took me four months to overcome this obsession, I must say.....🤣😅it was not easy, I have learned to take a different perspective of things, started saying "yes" to my friends if they wanted us to go out. Eventually, I started meeting up with interesting people which I never thought that they exist. Even if you do not have a lot of friends, just decide to go out with them. The results are much more satisfying than obsessing about someone. Goodluck
I was so glad you mentioned that item at the end about energy and people feeling your energy. That’s one of those situations no one can prove but I believe is true.
Sometimes obsessing over someone can be entertaining as long as it doesn't interfere with sleep or other important functions. I'm obsessed with someone I see - knowing she looks at me only as a friend. Everyone needs someone special in their life and the mind creates that even if it's not there. I'm content with the relationship as it is - until the real one comes along
Also, I heard this trick! *"In your mind, change the name of your obsession."* That made so much sense to me, because after a while, the whole obsession seemed to be directed towards a non-existant man. Then it feels crazy to spend any minute of brain power on obsessing over mere fantasy. (Non-attractive name helps, do not curse him in your mind, because that does spend energy. Boring, common name is the best.) Problem is that I have mental image and a feel of him and it is harder to get over those. But again layering stuff on the top and getting busy in other parts of my life, helps. And emotions and feelings will fade if I do not feed them with anything. I hope. Also, I have started to check all other hansom men on the street. Just to get perspective and count how many possibilities there is to get attracted again. I know it is not that simple, but lets just get over this obsession. Even that I have this song repeating in my head: "Nothing compares, nothing compares to you" from Sineab O'Connor. Lol 😂 Much love for everybody! 💖
I stopped my obsession when I got my first dog and I found out that my dog changed everything! She stopped me from that obsession and replaced it with her .. now she's the only one I think of and I'm worried about.. I try to do everything to make her comfortable and happy with me .. and that took the obsession of this person away ☺️now I'm way too happy 😜♥️😄
Your constant output is feeding them! This hit me hard. Very accurate and will ofcourse help me in controlling these obsessive thoughts. Thanks a bunch! You are amazing!😊
I definitely agree with the energy aspect of this , I feel like I am feeding them my energy with my thoughts , and as soon as I’m away from them they must feel it because they don’t feel that energy that I give them . So yes very brilliant fact !!
I’m convinced TH-cam is reading my mind because this was recommended to me completely randomly at a time I really needed it! Great advice thank you Susan ❤️
For me it helps to realize that being in love is basically just a hormonal chaos. So get ur hormons normal again and its gone. Get ur serotonin up and ur high dopamin down
All the facts about mental obsession is true with me .I have all the signs like can't sleep,keep memorizing about the person.This really helped me a lot....
Work with Me: susanwinter.net/consultation/
I wish I was more obsessed with myself then people who don’t want me
That is soooo true I'm sending you love and light and many blessings stay safe and well 🙏🙏🙏🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈💝💝💝💝💝💝💝👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼🤗🤗🌹
that's a great quote. We idealize some other person..is actually insane.
Do you want to be a second Donald Trump?
Same
I don't want to be Narcissistic
this was in my recommended and i just want to thank my FBI agent for this
Lauren cacoon 😄😅🤔🤫
Lauren cacoon lol made me laugh nd I was just crying
😂😂
Haha that made me laugh
😂
”We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” - Seneca
Accurste
So true 😢
So beautifully described 😊
Amen
Good grief !
No one can hurt us . We get hurt due to our own expectations.
I’m a bit sad the guy I like didn’t tell me how he feels, I mean he yelled at my sister when she told him but he’s giving me mixed signals and I’m dizzy
@@Kai_The_Kai plz ditch him n stay away frm him
@@sugandhadogra1781 he rides my school bus and sits literally across from me, I really can’t 💀
He’s also pretty cute 💀
@@Kai_The_Kai then tie rakhi to him 🤣
@@sugandhadogra1781 can you tell me what that means?
Am dum 🥲
I would say 99.9% of the time the person that you're stuck on and put a pedestal on really doesn't deserve it once you get to know them
it is all about an alternate reality
Communication and honesty, if you can't do or receive both then it's not worth ya time or efforts. Keep busy be productive take time to heal. 😊
Best statement on here
THANK YOU,YES
I guess the though thing about this is that for me it is not even about this person, cause I barely know him. It's about the idea of being with SOMEONE who makes me feel the way I felt with that guy the few times we met. But the obsession started before I even met this specific guy who now is my extra trigger because before I just obsessed about yearning for romantic companionship. This video is simply not helping because I already have my passions. I already socialize a lot and share my hobbies. I can't add any more hobbies than I already have and I love them. But once you obsess over something it's hard to stop because you can be doing something else and while it used to be fun at one point, you still can't fully focus anymore on that.
When you said," and you are probably not sleeping very well" I realized that I am watching this in the middle of the night because I can't sleep 😂😂😂
Lol same dude
Same :/
Same
Same
i slept rarely on these two months, even i cant eat properly.
mental obsession is a habit - and habbits can be broken. That sentence alone helped me a lot
How
Thank you for this comment. It was helpful.
Mines was when she said stop feeding them. Then they'll notice you.
@@Viv8ldi habit only has one b in it, its not like the word rabbit lol
Mental obsession is a habit and habits can be broken easily .if someone know how habits can be broken, as simple as shifting your sleep, meal ,or hobbies timings .,but this one is mainly emotional thing normally, which has to take some time (reaction time to the new case). Extrem pain ,but forever peace.
I‘ve developed a crush on someone I barely know but I‘ve now realized that I fell in love with the idea of this person and not the real person and I‘ve been doing this my whole life. I‘ve never had a relationship and I think I finally know that this is the reason for it. I hope I can change this
i can relate so bad ! Did u find any solutions ?
that sounds like limerance
Omg! I feel same
@x i love the way u expressed it si honesty. I really wanted to hear something like that the part where u said u r obsessed with the idea of them and not actually loving them. I mean it. This was one of yhe thing i needed rn.
How are you now ?
I was trying to pay attention but I got distracted thinking about him 😂
Ada Edins 🤦🏾♀️ 😆
Yip
😭😂🎯
Lol
Hahaha that did make me laugh because that happened to me aswell hahaha
This comment section feels like a warm blanket. I now understand that I'm not alone in feeling like this. So thanks everyone.
you're so not alone!
You too, thanks so much for commenting, i feel as if we care that we're all here, love you all
I mean sure except the comment above you says "picture them taking a dump." Soooooo
@@melonie_peppers yeah I saw that. Have to say that's quite an extraordinary coping skill.
@@GauravSingh-ku5xy Haha
It takes 21 days to get into a habit. Stop watching their shit. Stop talking about them. Stop looking for them. Make room for the person who deserves to be in your life.
But how to stop the inner voice that keep telling Me to "NO don't let him think that he WIN just do somthing " it's a distance relationship so social media is the only way to show and prove him wrong I'm stuck..
@@peacejoy3629 yea but you're draining yourself by doing that. It's best to be mature and just block him on everything. It's tough to do so, but the best decision for yourself and your mental health. Constantly proving yourself to him is obsessive behavior as well. Break out of it and start bettering yourself hun.
@@peacejoy3629 it doesn't matter where he is. Even if you leave and block him, he still wonders what happened to you. Flip the script and he'll be obsessed with you lol just don't get caught up in proving yourself to him. He's a loser, he doesn't deserve to see you.
@@vallymokhlis yeah ..that's What i realized he don't deserve to know anything about me
Thank you soo much for your advice and for ur time 💞🌸
@@vallymokhlis But now is it normal to don't want any relationship ! and get to know someone !
I wanna stay by myself.
Bcz I can't find a good match at an intellectual level . like they fake it *there Intelligence* bcs all what they want is reach my BODY and they're all normalize it .
I want deferent.
And my bff normalize it too she said* this is humane gurl , so you're not normal you are a robot ! * and keep telling me to spread myself around and be social and have conversations and then I'll have choices to pick the ONE ! But it's unfaithful for me and not loyal at all and kinda b***y thing and waste of energy.
I think one person is enough we get to know eachother and then we be official .
But she keep pushing me she made think I'm I an alien or what ! Like even when I do like a guy ( we at university in same class) and I feel he likes me back , all I do is make him think that YOU DON'T EXIST like I ignore hiim I don't why I do that 💔
( and she done that she know someone they're together as couple but she has a crash on too other guys in uni and they text and I see her smile when she read there messages and I beeee shocked ! Like what are you dOinG and she normalized it *she said everyone do that *
So mybe I'm the problem
From personal experience, a mental obsession over someone is a sign that I'm neglecting my social health. I've overcome this by meeting new people and attending hangout groups. In the end, it's as if the "crush" was a placeholder for better things to come. Thank you for this video!
Great advice and really true. It’s still not doing it for me.
thank you for this. I’m going thru the same thing right now and i think it’s because i’m neglecting my social health too. i’m trying to get better but it can be hard sometimes :)
This comment put it all together for me. Thank you for your insight 🤍
True. If you are destined to be with this crush, it will happen, otherwise it is a sign you mentioned. It is a sign you are missing, want something and this crush is sign to improve yourself, look after your emotional/love life.
Well, it's 1:43 am and I still can't sleep because I keep thinking about that one person. You see, it's easier during the day, I can keep myself busy but what about these long lonely sleepless nights? Moreover, I really don't want to use someone else to get over someone else. I mean yeah I try to make new friends but I feel like it's very forceful from my side while the other person is thinking that it's mutual. I don't want to deceive this new person (probably the person I'm thinking about did the same to me as well)
Everytime you think about someone you keep them alive energetically, you feed them.
I wonder how this works. I believe that everything is energy (from one of Nikola Tesla's sayings) but I can't it see as the way it is-- as just energy.
@@weneedmoreconsideratepeopl4006 Energy goes where attention flows?
@@Viv8ldi I can see it now when I think of it like that 😮 Thanks! That's a good way to put it.
shit ...
Galliano Marr thank you for this!! now I know how to stop thinking about someone
Well, I’ve had big BIG crushes on people I NEVER thought I would get over. But one day, you realize you haven’t thought about that person in a while, and you feel amazing! Free at last!! It can happen for this person too.
Allyn true
Is it just over time i should be over them?... I'm 25, i feel like i should be done dealing with this type of stuff
Back then,where was youtube when we needed it?
How do you do that? It feels such a flaw in my own programming that I feel obsessed to spend time with them, get their attention but I know in fact I'm not even a secondary person in their lives and they have their own daily routines
It’s a relief to know I’m not the only one in this type of situation. I can’t stop thinking about my ex, and it’s so frustrating at times because he’s out there living he’s life, no trace of me, while even though I’m trying to live my life, he’s still present in my mind. We’ve been on and off back then, but it’s been more than two years already. We bumped into each other a couple of times, but haven’t talked in months 😩
“The only time someone notices you’re there is when you’re not there” .... wow, I needed to hear this right now.
Absolutely true in every way shape and form.
Me too
Same
That’s why when you start getting over them, they start thinking about you more
@@danielcastillo6912 not true.
Recognising that obsession is a natural response of my brain to an unresolved situation has actually helped me a lot.
Because the only thing worse than my obsession is me bashing myself for being so obsessed.
Me too!
True. Angry on myself for being like this
This ☝🏻
Me too!!
Over the past 40 years of obsessing over my first love, I have said that I need him exorcized from my brain!!!
This would be much easier to do if we weren’t in quarantine
pinterest can be ur new obsession maybe? thats mine
Yes exactly. I have never been obsessively thinking about somebody this much till quarantine hit us. My mind will always more focus to socialize when i have to be around many people so i will not think about that person. But i've been home for weeks so it's so hard to get my mind off that person 😭
@@alezt14 this is really true. and it actually caused me to lose that person the fact that i was so obsessed by having him the way i wanted. I ended up pushing him away. Now i am obsessed even more because he wanna be friends for now. I think i inject also my negative vibes into him and he also lost concentration on things that probably are more important in his life e.g his work and himself. So now I am paying the price of him pulling away and downgrading me for now. He told me that we should continue to talk as a friend and not labeling our relationship right now until everything is back to normal again and that we could meet again. But i guess because of that I am even more obsessed and need his validation to reassure that he will stick with me and that we will work things out. But this is not healthy and I have been watching this vdo more than 3 times in order to understand that I have to let this obsession go and let things work out on its own.
i am normally very independent but at this time I guess i really need attention and I overwhelm him with this
The best thing to do is try and keep yourselfs busy 👍. I'm trying to find things to do physically. Sadly just a week before lockdown I heard the girl I liked might be married and has a child. Haven't seen her for 4 years since college but it really hit me and has left me emotionally upset. I'm trying to move on but I get these moments and dreams which don't help along with the subconscious overthinking and fantasy
What to do if we are staying in same building and that too in this quarantine period. Seeing him happy with his wife now everyday. I am getting more obsessed
The fact that we purposely searched for this, means that we have the initiative to get better, and I applause us for it. May we truly achieved what we want in life, as long as it's not to hurt others but always of love. Even I, as typing this is still currently not really "fine", but I'm not just going to give up and let what let me down win. We're all in this together guys! 😊💕
👏here's a little applause for us all
Happy to read the comments and have someone who has similar feelings
its honestly so difficult to live with and i dont know what to do.
I never knew I was so obsessed until I thought about it. I messaged her despite her wanting space from me. And she has rightfully left me on delivered. I deserve this. I wish I wasn’t so obsessed, but I’ve never felt this cared for in my life by another girl. I feel depressed.
God, i wish these videos were available when i was a kid... now i have 20+ years of experience as a serial-crusher
Update on my situation: I have cut her off completely. I’ve realized that this girl doesn’t want me for who I am. Im now incredibly happy and I’m loving my life now :) it may seem impossible, it’s gonna hurt for a while, especially if you loved the girl like I loved mine. But believe me cutting her off is the right decision boys, especially if she isn’t giving you what you need to hear, or if there’s no communication. Stay strong boys!
Believe me, it's just a matter of time. Gradually, as more important things come in your way, you will get over the person, and that will be the best feeling :)
You live only once. Don't waste it over someone who doesn't give a damn about you.
I Know Of a Great Relationship Restorer Who Can Bring Back Your Ex Within 2days Without No Daley
He was the one who helped me restored back my broken relationship of three years without stress nor delay
Text him on whatsap.
+2 3 4 8 0 8 0 4 9 4 1 4 1.
I know I'm late but thank you for saying this I needed it 😎
Never stop doing the things that are important for you while your are in the middle of an obsession: school/ work/ holiday/ courses etc. The obsession will fade away; your achievements last forever and will make you feel so proud of yourself! Those are the positive things in the dark period of obsession.
It’s hard when it’s a breakup because you also get depressed which makes you lose focus of goals and not want to have any
I like it: focusing on achieving a goal that helps others, rather than focusing on a particular person that is not treating us all that special. I will remember and use that.
Thank you Donavin.
Smart Boi
Same . It makes sense . ❤
Thank you...
you like a coach look at the big picture Its not just you we are to give and help another not sit an cry over somebody that don't care.
Somebody only notices you’re there, is when you’re actually not there..
So true sister :)
Omg! That's what i needed! I know he senses my energy! I need to stop putting it out there otherwise he'll never wake up! Brilliant! Help me Universe. 🙏
I believe the ignoring method does help.
I disagree. I often do the Irish goodbyes at parties and nobody ever notices when I'm gone. At least I assume cuz the next day, people don't ever ask me where I had disappeared to.
I didn't understand...
Plz make me understand 😔
Stop thinking about the good times. REMEMBER the BAD! That's how you stop thinking of someone who hurt you.
That also causes a lot of overthinking. Even when I think of the bad.
@@gwenwar7223 Stop Thinking. Start enjoying life. Loving yourself!
@CC VanAmeyden Why are you looking at a Picture of him at all?? He's and EX...move on. 😉
@@CrystalSicily 🙄
Wh if u were masochist?
Sometimes we create a version of a person that really doesn’t exist. It’s a fantasy of who we want them to be, it’s not the real person. We need to look at the real actions, if someone is not giving you security or solid answers that they want to be with you then the answer is NO. Absence is the best, as stated in the video once your energy is gone from them that’s when they notice. We need to stop giving our energy to the wrong people.
Good advice. The answer is no. You create a fantasy about a person that does not exist is I agree.
Happened to me. He didn’t give me any information about himself. So I went on a mission to find out who he is via internet.
And I developed a massive crush. It took me a year and a month and @Susanwinter to help me recover.
What if you’re obsessed with them for how they make you feel? (not directly, like, them doing things to/for you) For how thinking about them, being reminded of them, things about them makes you feel.. When you love things about them, and not just because of who you want them to be, but who you see them as/the way you see them? I’m sorry if this is confusing, I’m just talking about me being a K-Pop fan, obsessed with an idol and I’ve been trying to “not have him in my life” anymore.. But, and it’s hard to explain, a lot of things just remind me of him, too.. And sometimes, I just don’t know what to do when I see things that remind me of him or triggers me to think about him..
You’re running a loop in your mind... it feels like you’re achieving something but you’re not… That hit me hard like a ton of bricks just fell on me
Damnnnn son yeah
It's like addiction really
Wow i read this as she was saying it
So I’m a mf hamster huh?? :(
@@aurielove9177 get out of the loop and focus on you 💓
I've been obsessed with this person and I'm feeling terrible. I want to move on.
Me and u we HV the same problem.thats why I am here.it will get better
DoN-Ent same bro
me too
Me too, but i dont have time to go to gym, and the obsessive thought gets back again
Same 😂
I admire people who can understand that obsessively thinking about someone doesn't lead anywhere and it would be best to forget them. And there's me, who kind of understands this, but also likes the feeling of liking someone. So one part of me wants to forget, the other doesn't. All while knowing it doesn't make sense at all to continue thinking about literally NOTHING.
You might 'kind of like' the feeling because you unconsciously feel you deserve to still be in pain or torturing yourself in some way. Think of the harm you're doing to yourself.
i waited 74 days for someone i was kind of obsessed with for a few months, realised they weren't worth it in the end. leave them when you can, you won't regret it!
This is me...Bless u for explaining my situation ri8
Yes I get it. It’s a melancholia. I wish I could shed it but it’s the way it is..
This is the real issue, the internal struggle in everyone who goes through that. A part of me wants to delete everything in my memory, totally forget the girl, moving on and not think about her EVER.
Then there's this other side who WANTS to think about her because it's pleasing, it's a drug for my mind and it's almost unstoppable.
I guess I'm not strong enough to let it go.
I'm obsessing over a long-distance friend that most likely doesn't think of me at all. I feel like I'm going insane.
I tried the method ignoring him and not feeding him the energy. It has the opposite effect: he keeps coming back. and it's very tempting because I do have feelings for the guy, I will never tell him. He is too full of himself anyways.
@@marmary5555 same but girl
happening to me rn and i have exams and a life to live, it's awful
@@lostones00Q thank you for the advice, much appreciated 💞
I hear you. It is interesting how we can be obsessed with a dream. It is all an illusion. This is a sign that you need to invest more time and energy into your own hobbies.
If u stop thinking about that person u stop feeding him/her and that's the moment they remember you
esoteric bullshit
Osman Güney 😂
True. I’ve experienced this a couple times.
Truest statement ever
Braden A vibrations
I feel like my obsession comes from fear and not being able to find anyone else, cus an obsession is always formed when a new attractive person enters into my life (few and far between) that likes me a lot and gives me attentention. I get excited and think I've found "the one", and then my anxiety of potentially losing the person if I do the "wrong thing" persists and changes me in a negative way. Then, they pull away and I plot even harder trying to find a way to pull them back in. I feel like if I can let go of this insecurity in myself, then I can finally be free. Redirecting my obsession seems to be like distracting myself from the real underlying issue that forces me to form that obsession in the first place, when it shouldn't even be there.
Well said
Amazing comment. I’m in the middle of trying to stop obsessing about this girl from my gym, I found her on IG and her blogs on TH-cam. I’ll try to stop watching anything about her and and get some new hobbies. 😒
Same feeling
I’m the same way
Story of my life.
'When you cant physically act on it , all you're left is mental work.' Damn, preach🙌🏻
The best way for me to stop obsessing about somebody else, was to start obsessing about myself. Knock them off the pedestal you put them on, and put yourself back there, because that is where you belong.
Her voice has healing properties
It sounds like smokers voice to me
@@porcupine783 😂😂😂🤦🏾♀️
Yes it does. There's something comforting and reassuring about her voice.
ASMR!
All those who are here after being left by their one sided love.. God give u peace and a real lover soon. For the time just focus on your smile. And smile for me please :)
Amen :)
💗
❤💔🙂
My eyes are in tears when I read this... Thank u so much!!
Thank You honey, you too😊
When you're depressed and have no passions 🙃
Literally !!!!!!!!
Ughhh me
LMAO true
That sounds tough my friend. I hope you find something that helps you feel joy. May I suggest something simple as going on a hike in a beautiful remote area?
Oh dang but I just hope that you will be alright real soon!
Here a year on from when I first watched this video, and let me just say I'm sending major love to anyone reading this that's going through a hard time or has major heartbreak right now, a year ago I felt like I'd always be sad and have this person stuck in my mind and it used to tear me up inside, now I barely think of them and am looking at my future, working away in college and aiming to get a better job. If I can do it anyone can! And most importantly TIME HEALS YOUR HEART, it may not feel like it now but you will stop thinking of this person and move on to better things :)
Thank you! I really needed this. This is my first time going through a heartbreak and it’s a really tough one on me. My mental health isn’t so great either and this makes it even worse. I really hope I’m able to get over this soon
@Maryah Muyumyah I’m glad at least one person feels helped:) I promise though things will only get better and you will eventually feel like your old self again, that person didn’t define who you were and they certainly won’t define who you are without them ♥️♥️♥️
thank u so much for this update. Your message was so beautiful and perfectly said! Thank you for taking the time to share it. I'm sure that meant so much to so many people. Hope you got that better job!
Mine still isn't better and it's been close to a year! I am glad you got better after three months.
Thank you so much your wise words helped a lot i stuck on to the person for more than one year and it's the worst feeling ever I had I still think of him but I hope that one day I will never think of him again 🤞
I have a very imaginative mind since childhood, i used to fantasize something that i know its impossible to achieve or have. When i become adult, this fantasizing continued and was reinforced when i read the book of Paolo Coelho, "The Alchemy" supporting that if we dream of sonething really seriously, the universe will conspire to give us what we want. Now i am an adult life is teaching me that there is an issue in my childhood, its rejection and abandonment, that was unresolved. I have discovered that my fantasizing is a way of escape to whats lacking inside of me. My parents failed to assure me of my self worth and self esteem is low. Thanks to your videos, it awakened me of whats lacking within me. Slowly i will reset myself to heal my childhood issue with the help from God.
Same to me
I am your 17 years old version :( same here
it was verarsche to hurt me...... they planned it, they executed it, they trashed me, then they created a wreck, and then they trashed me for being hurt..... planned out strategically executed and finished....... and then it was above all my fault....
perfect crime which turns out to be the fault of the victim.... WoaoW
Paolo Coelho is a brilliant author. Veronica decides to die, a great book. It's not about suicide, not really, it's positive.
He met someone new. I guess my blockage was that: I was there for him when he was at his lowest point in life, encouraged him, pushed him to exercise, showed him to stay positive, etc. I did all that because I really liked him and his sweet words convinced me that we would have an amazing lif together. Now that his life is back on track and his confidence’s back, he abandoned me for someone else. I think my blockage is that he didn’t appreciate what I did for him. He took what he needed and left. I wonder why are some people like this... I learned my lesson.
Wow!!! I'm so sorry! I had that but the other way around...he was going through a tough time and I tried to help him. But he lives with his ex (he always said to me that they broke up because he considered her a friend but had no where else to live so they kept living together). Anyways, because the tough time he was going through I tried to be understanding but after a year and now that he is fine again I decided to talk things with him. His answer was that his life was with the other person and that he rather had me as a friend (of course with benefits)...so I decided to stop that relationship we had because it was going no where and I felt used and played around. He also told me that the other woman was still in love with him but he didn't want anything with her. I never met her but I would love to, just to let her know that I never wanted to hurt her in case the situation did. Because she knew of my existence as he told her once...
How are you doing now? If it helps any, at least you can leave peacefully without the regret that you were in the wrong and that you gave it your best.
I still wonder why are some people like that... Why would they say one thing and mean the other? Surely they know that if it were them, they'd feel hurt and used too... so why do it to someone else?
Avery K. Same 💔
Same situation, she just went and found a perfect replacement for me
They do this because we let them. We act like a doormat always welcoming them.
I realised whenever I have a crush/obsession on someone it usually takes the form of daydreaming about a future version of me that is skinnier, prettier, got her shit together, is living life the way I want to etc. I think I do this because I don’t feel like a relationship would be the best for me right now and I definitely have some insecurities about nobody wanting me as a partner. I can’t picture my current self with a partner, it has to be some ideal version of me that I will never be. This version of me will be “finally good enough” to enter into a relationship.
I’m definitely going to take your advice on breaking the habit, but I don’t know how to refocus my goals when it seems pretty clear that this fantasy land is serving a dual purpose of relationship fantasy and “ideal future me” fantasy.
How do I feel more satisfied with my present self? How do I stop this feeling of not being good enough?
By realizing you are the ideal you, and that somebody if not multiple will see that ideal you. It’s tough, it might be a process of putting yourself out there in a lot of situations but building that confidence will connect with others.
Most underrated comment , truely.atleast for me.
definitely the same thoughts that I have
I have the same feelings. Thank you for writing this.
This is exactly how I’ve been feeling for the past few years. Thank you for putting this into words.
This is why so many people replace an "old"/lost/unrequited love with another instead of working on a better, stronger self. It's a lifelong lesson and not everybody can do it. You're strong enough to do this, focus on yourself, establish healthy boundaries, break habits that don't serve you.
In my opinion, you don't need to set a somewhat distant goal in stone. Focus on the process instead.
The only way somebody notices you're there is when you're not there. WORD! Thanks Susan
This was very helpful, I feel kind of embarrassed about thinking in an obssesive way but you didn't make me feel like a crazy person at all & your advice was very helpful
g g makes the two of us
I don't sleep much, eat much or able to concentrate much I can't stop thinking about a guy who doesn't like me as much as I like him. Rejection hurts so much. I realized he was just leading me on and feeding his ego. He knew I liked him and never said at the beginning that he doesn't want a relationship with me of course he told me why but those reasons are strange anyway I'm avoiding him as much as I can but I still love him he does have some good qualities and we do get on pretty well despite everything. Well time to turn my attention to myself now. He'll notice for sure that I'm not around as much but it's his loss. He should've been honest with me before he broke my heart. 😔Thanks Susan good advice.😔
Princess Vanessa a
Went through the same thing yesterday. Hope you have been doing well
Same situation. Just erase him everywhere. He may or may not realise what he lost
UGH, why do we women go thru so much pain, when we are just trying to LOVE?! I’ve been thru it too girl, Trying to swear off men but it’s hard. 😢
Same pinch... Why lead on when u r not clear in ur head first..?
We're in no-contact but seem to be communicating through silence. I'm constantly reminded of him, seeing his name everywhere. It's like I'm grieving, crying everyday, I'm totally obsessed with him, but.........I just can't go back, I just can't. 😩💔
I feel you
Did u
Start a relationship with yourself. I am having obsessive habits. Had them a lot. Love yourself. That's the best option for me. Hope it helps someone. Very helpful video thank you. Much Love all
0th - The Rising Soul it’s the only solution!! The obsession is gone now because I chose myself finally! ❤️
Lose yourself in the music the mom......
@@serena4732 came here after breakup
Call centre agent
The Dark Light it works for me, until im in a relationship again
Lmao I ain't worth the thought
I'm obsessing over someone that lead me on and when somebody better suddenly came back into their life, she completely went ghost. My flaw is that I always try to find what I did wrong even though people tell me I didn't do anything wrong. It's just a mental habit I need to break.
Me too my fellow human. Me too.
Holy shit the same thing happend to me
same i’m obsessing over the two people that hurt me
Same thing here
Same thing happened to me. Really stings.
WOW. I REALLY NEEDED THIS. It’s a mental obsession that’s exhausting for me to live and exhausting for my friends to hear about! I definitely needed that reminder about not keeping them alive energetically. Thank u!
“In any moment
on any given day
I can measure
my wellness
by this question:
is my attention on loving
or is my attention on
who isn’t loving me?”
-Andrea Gibson
👏👏👏👏👏
Damn❤😂💯💯
True story...I hadn’t heard from the guy i like and is often on my mind 😂 in two days. Was out running errands when this tall, handsome blonde comes into my line of vision. He very politely approached me and proceeded to apologize for bothering me but needed to tell me he thought I was beautiful and if I would be interested in going to dinner with him. I gave him my number and two hours later he left me a message wondering if I could go out the following night. I told him I was busy so we decided on next week. For the first time in a few weeks the original guy was nowhere on my mind 😂 completely gone. Literally 22 minutes after the new guy called me, out of nowhere the guy I like texts me, i was so so relaxed and laissez faire that I think he sensed it by some of his replies. I swear I truly believe this shift in energy thing. It had happened previously when I went on a date with someone new, had a lovely time and the very next day guy #1 is texting me. Put your energy elsewhere girls, whether it’s volunteering, a new hobby or saying yes to going on a date with a new guy, you never know who’s coming around the corner.
Wow! It's just fascinating how this works..
Did you get back w/ the old guy?
Catherine’s ASMR no, i let him know I just want to be platonic friends and that I wanted to just enjoy going out on dates with other men. He wasn’t happy and acted out for a couple of weeks but he still contacts me in an attempt to take me out on dates but I am enjoying dating new men too much. Still regularly talk to the tall blonde who is a pro rugby player but he lives abroad and although he asked me to be exclusive since our very first date I said no to that as well as long distance relationships are not for me. So I will see him whenever I travel to his country or he comes back, in the meantime we are getting to know each other without any pressure and I like it like that as I tend to run if things progress too quickly.
Lola Cookie ok, cool. Interesting.
anonymous 20002001 ne dite pas que quelque chose c’est impossible. tout est possible dans cet univers
It's like a hamster in a wheel.
Constantly thinking about the person but you know it's not going anywhere.
But the feeding energy is so true.
You're good Ms. Susan!!!😇💜
😇😇😇😇😇💜💜💜
This was very well articulated and very helpful. However, I think the final bit of advice risks compromising the whole attempt. It may be true that depriving that person of your presence will increase the chance they will miss you, but I think its a messy game to play. When you are succeeding in not thinking about them/not messaging them, you will have this underlying thought that you are only ignoring them SO THAT they will come to you. It almost increases the obsession because you are anticipating their return. Then, if they don't return, it just hurts and feels helpless. I guess its a double edged sword.
But focussing on other goals and spending time DOING stuff that isn't thinking about that person is really good advice to interrupt the habit.
Well said!
@@bobate6030 I wrote that during a period of infatuation with someone and can confirm the advice of filling your day with other activities which force you to disregard your phone is a good strategy. Smoking 2 cigarettes a day is better than 30.
I agree. I was buying into this but she completely lost me with that last little nugget - a nugget of complete BS IMO. A crazy narcissist discarded me and I am certain is giving me no thought at all. The new rewards supply person is in place and as long as that is the case I remain completely eliminated from the picture.
That said, the breaking the habit advice was excellent and she was correct about my inability to sleep. Need more work in those areas.
That is so true! I even get excited when I feel like I have let them go because I „know“ now they are coming back and then I get sad all over again, even more …how can I break this cycle 😭
I just went through what you described. It's a waste of time and energy, never again.
opening up you're heart is the biggest mistake to do when you meet someone without knowing them.
I think as soon as u give up all hope and let them go they can sense it and panic. Usually too late by then cos your feelings have gone already.
Yes lol with my ex if he was my ex and I was sad after few weeks felt better and honestly nobody knew this but when I shaved my legs because I felt good again he always began texting me.
Yahusha is Savior Melchizedek King of Kings wait did he text you again cause you shaved your legs I-
@@fleurdelys6102 hahah no he just always contacted me when I had done it very strange. Like when I was sad I didn't shave than when I finally felt better I shaved my legs and than he called again. I tested it when I found out and it was so ahahaha
Yahusha is Savior Melchizedek King of Kings that is such a cool superpower to uncover. I wonder what mine is!🤔
This appeared on my recommended page... how did TH-cam know? 😳
Omg same ahahahah
jesskaitlyn right! Like yo 🙁
Yep. Same here.
jesskaitlyn because your phone is listening to you
jesskaitlyn it’s AI , things you wrote down TH-cam or any social media app registers them and recommends stuff that are related to them.
i've invested so much time and effort in her that I hate the idea of letting her go
ME TOOO, l got anxiety cuz of HER
This was my way of thinking too but i came to the realisation that if i don't let go i'm just investing even MORE time than before into nothing so it's better to stop than add and get nothing in return
Gosh how I wish we could meet each other in real life and all be friends to listen and understand each other bc I FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY!! I became way too attached since we were good friends for many years and she was my crush but ever since January of this year she became so distant and now she no longer looks for me like before….
Turns out She’s now into someone from work and she hangs out with all our mutual friends except me like damn… I’ve tried reaching out since I heard she was struggling with issues but what’s the point if she constantly drowns my attempts? I ended up having more anxiety too.
I’m so disappointed in letting myself become so attached to the point that everything I wanted to do was because I always had her in mind in doing those things with. Like i let my life revolve around her and i don’t know how I’ll be able to forgive myself in letting that happen.
So now I’m just trying to let go and focus on myself which seems Impossible to do right now.
Anyway, how are you guys doing so far? I really hope you all get to find happiness within yourselves in your respective journies:)
@@jaan08011 I hear you bro
Let her go
Been obsessed with a girl so much even knowing that she only sees me as a friend that I've started to become creepy. Even her friends have noticed it. I really needed this video
Anyone else watch this crying because of how frustrated they are with their own mind because you feel like you've lost your own mind and lost yourself just because of this one person that drives your heart crazy? 😓
It's hard to do this when your in quarantine 😩😭
😭😭😭😩😩😩😩😩
You're so right.
😿
Yes!!!! I can’t go outside and interact with other people, so my mind is stuck on them 😭
If u have that person on social media just remove them, don’t stalk them do something that will benefit you, study read a book just move them out of ur progress in life. Remember we are all in quarantine so you can choose to put ur focus on your goals or that person. I know what ur going through sadly :( I hope u pull through !
1) find something in your life that is more exciting than this person. A passion, a hobby, and achievement. A big goal, helping others.
The only way to find your own happiness and your own groundness on things that are more tantalizing than your obsessions.
We are creatures of habit.
Good advice.
When the cons outweigh the pros, remind yourself of the cons, deal breakers, disrespect, and toxic treatment that was put on you. It takes time to heal just take it one day at a time and do anything and everything that will make yourself happy no matter how small. Get out of that comfort zone and talk to other men/ women. You WILL be ok. Remind yourself ❤️
Thank you
I needed this
My heart starts beating even harder when I think about them. It's so hard to let go when they are the sole thing that makes you go through your day. :(
agreed. My motivation at work, the gym, everything has become solely her in the last week. I feel like my heart will explode when i think of her. The sad part is i've never spoken to her in my life.
@@carl_consumer.of.reality Hey bro it's been two months since I made that comment, and I have to say things definitely get better. I realized that I need to focus on myself and stopped giving a damn about them. I realized that I was much better off without them and could find someone who actually cares about me. Good luck continuing on bro
I hve been having sucidal thoughts coz of him
It started with only physical attraction
I wanted only hookup
Now I wanna kill myself coz I want him forever
@@lotuswolf1518 if he wants you. Do u think he will chose for someone who want to kill him self or someone who is strong and not have psychological problems….?
THIS
RIGHT HERE MAN
THE STUPID HEARTBEAT
Who else was stalking there crush on ig last night
Me 😔
@@Diana-rr6wk stalking him in twitter and reading those conversation of him with someone makes me hurt so much
Oh yeah... familiar...
Me 😩🥺 and now i found out he has a gf
he keeps rejecting my request
I can confirm from my own experience that this constant thinking of that specific persons keeps feeding them. I had the same experience in the past that as soon as I stopped thinking about the person for a while, all of a sudden she got in touch with me just as you experienced in on of your previous videos. Not that this is a magic way to get someone back but it is energy you are missing and could use for your own purpose and happiness instead. Your videos always seem to come right on time and are on the spot. Time to shift my focus back to myself. Thank you so much Susan.
I appreciate your commentary, BlueWaffles. Thanks for your note.
So true. In my situation I believe this guy continues his neglect of me b/c he knows he can get away with it. He knows I have feelings for him. He knows the second he calls I will come running. I know I need to change my mindset even though it's very difficult.
Meryl Lumboy-My situation is similar and I know it's difficult to really cut off someone you have feelings for. And, so funny, the same thing has happened to me in the past where I would delete his texts, tell myself I am done and then BAM he would contact me and I'd be back in his web...But soon after he would start w/ the same neglect crap. Like you I need to be firm w/ my decision to finally FINALLY be done w/ this nonsense.
Been there, done that got the T-Shirt. I know it is very hard to burn the bridge but we just have to. If it already starts out like this, while not even starting anything really, imagine if you ever catch that person how he/she is going to behave in a relationship. You are better off without him/her (for now) and we all deserve someone who reciprocates exactly the same interest we are showing. Be strong an stop hurting yourself by inviting those people back into your life.
Don't hate them but feel pity with them for what they must have been through themselves to become like this. They need to sort out their own issues and we, why we are still hanging on to someone who is not good for us. Stop looking at the past and what could have been. Set them free and live in the present. You can't change them but you can take the right actions in your own live and do the work needed so you will attract someone who is worth your time and affection.
Once you are there, the universe will work it all out - be it with a new partner or eventually the guy/gal you never quite got. Just believe in it. Be strong!
Thank you, BlueWaffles83. I want to print what you wrote and hang it on my wall to read and keep me strong. What really sucks is I have to see this guy at work. It makes the situation much more difficult but I am so tired of the games, tired of feeling used, tired of his broken promises and empty words, tired of feeling like crap.
I recently have this feelings for my co-worker. I soon realized after a while that she never even interested in me. Not in the slightest and that she actually grossed with the thought of me really into her. Then I try to get into my old hobby, which is drawing that makes me happy. Also planning on starting to make soaps, possibly for business. Things have never went so well for me in life. Like a great weight lifted. The key, I think is to find that spark in your life again. Kinda like the one you see in Disney's Soul. The idea that makes you alive, makes you feel happy even from the simplest thing. If we can just take a moment, and live every second for what makes us love ourselves, and not with some unhealthy obssession over someone who don't care about you.
I was obsessed with this dude for 7 years. He never even knew I existed. I set plenty of goals, ended up competed in figure skating and learned classical guitar. Nothing ever helped my obsession. Nothing. Then he died and I'm just trying to figure out why I'm crazy. Oh well.
Oh man
Did you killed him?e.e
@@Jojosiwo Hahaha, sorry I can't stop laughing! NOOOO! I'm psycho, but nice psycho. He overdosed. I was waiting for him to get sober.
@@mr.miyagi3784💐💐💐here's some flowers for you my dear. Sorry you had to go through that.
If u dont mind can i know ur birthday?🥺 its just for a astrology research im doing personally based on this stuff
you're a smart woman!
my mind knows you're right but my heart isn't on the same page
I always thought fantasy was harmless to me, even providing me with a substitute for what I couldn’t have. I recently realized how harmful and painful it’s been to be indulging in these feelings.
Much thanks for your excellent advice ✨🙏✨
Yes, because it keeps you stuck in dream and you are not able to see reality.
So true- removing them from our energetic billboard serves us best as it makes us feel more centered in own life and can spurr "the other " to reach out as they miss our energy feeding them
I love your term- energetic billboard-Fabulous! Thanks for your share.
Thank you Susan for this other great video. Just adding to GalacticWoman's comment: but if they reach out, they'll come back in our system even more powerfully because it's less fantasy and more real. I find that hard to handle. Also, about finding a passion, or a new hobby to center our energy on something else: that too is a great advice, however, after a while, I find I get pround of my new achievements and of course, who do I want to share them with? Haha that's really tough :) Thank you again! It's still very useful advice to hear. Best.
Is this a conscious thing or subconscious that they are missing our energy? Do they know what made them reach out or do they suddenly just miss us?
@@SusanWinter hard to stop thinking the man that never promise me anything but the bad thing I'm falling for him can't stop messaging him or call.him to.the point he blocked me or ignored me I feel that I'm being over to my limit hope u help me😢
GalacticWoman it’s hard bc I can still smell her scent
This video is a life saver for me right now!! Gym and running, that is my focus from now on!! Thinking about this guy literally brings nothing but misery and sadness, but the gym and running positively effect me!! Everytime he pops into my head, I'm just gunna say gym and run (as crazy as that sounds) lol!!
Damn y’all inspiring me o whateva like now imma try this. Or just try to throw myself into my classes again :)
Did he ever come back?
Me too
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
That's what I did BEFORE Covid lockdown. Now I'm stuck home thinking all the time.
Yes! My health and well being is more important than any person. Also healing and reflecting. Stop chasing ppl, especially these narcissistic types. Who only play mind games and lead you on.
I was a big mess more than a month ago. Everywhere I went, all I could think about was him and I thought it was just in movies that you see other people as him but it also happened 😂. It was ridiculous and painful. I learned to take in the pain and continue my life with it. I experienced chest pains for more than a week after days of breakdown then numbness came after. I'm way better now. I still think about him most hours of everyday, but the feelings is starting to be less intense day by day. I made progress today by waking up and not thinking about him first. Thank you for this video. These are things that we sometimes know, but we still need someone else to slap us with it so that we can wake up.
I'm with you, going through this exact same right now. My heart truly hurts right now
I am dealing with this kind of situation right now and unfortunately I cannot work on my thesis I'm about to graduate in a few months and it distracts me from my goal I hate it.
how are you now?
I’m good when I don’t see him but when I see him in college everything get worse😢
The good news is if moving on doesn’t wake them up to the extent you want, you’ll soon forget their asses anyway. Your life is now too fun to keep their memory
Find something that excites you. A passion, a hobbie, an achievement, a big goal, something that involves helping others, and put that as your your primary goal. 🌟
I love that advice.
my youtube recommendation really went too far now
Hahaha 😂
I'm obsessed with my boyfriend when he doesn't text me I feel so bad and depressed but this was so practical thank you!
I once thought about someone who had hurt me very badly, every seconds of my days and fast forward 5 months after the breakup i couldnt care less if he died in a ditch somewhere. Time heals. Be patient and be kind to yourself. You'll forget this person you came to this video for ! :-)
It's especially hard in quarantine,..when you can't see the person you love in person, and they decide to move on, It just drives you nuts!!!!. You keep texting, chatting, and thinking about them finally losing your mind. We must never attach to a person beyond which we can't come back!.
I have a huge crush on this guy and it’s taking over my life and I am starting to make me feel depressed on weekends and all I want is to be at school😭😭 I hope he dose not find this comment
Have you told him you like him ? :) if not tell him !
Good lord high school it’s the most important place nothing else matters lol
@@journeytrials Ha ha ha ha, hey now that's when you're the most emotional, you haven't been beaten down by the real world and their miserable 'society' yet, the feels are real and shouldn't be taken lightly, as easy as it is to. Do you remember the tiiimmesss?
I am Monika I’m grown I know heartbreak she’s a kid she’s just starting out!
@@journeytrials I'm 36 as well but our ages and number of heartbreaks are irrelevant. It's what you feel in that moment that matters and that can happen at any age and is actually much more severe in younger years. Your emotional development is growing at that age at an alarming pace, most suicides from heart break are in fact from teenagers and the last time I tried to take my life over heart break indeed was 18. There's no 'well I gotta live for my kids and career' at that age (well..for *most*), and therefore should actually be taken much more seriously in those years and not dismissed as 'ahh pfft young high school crushes don't mean anything, get over it'.
Yea I’m kinda obsessed with a guy at work , but I’m know it’s impossible to act on it so I’m kinda obsessed , but I’m learning that I need to come back to reality and just need to move on with my life and as said in this video focus on goals and other things that make me happy …
Update : I decided to leave my job because I felt that mentally it was not healthy for me to stay there since I couldn’t have the person I wanted so I think I made the decision to leave although it was very hurtful I knew it was the best thing for me to continue with my life .
The last part of this totally blew my mind. It made total sense. It made more sense than the belief that if you are constantly thinking about someone it's likely that they are also thinking about you. I've never been convinced of that. For the past 6 months I think about this person every single day. I think about our past, what could've been, how much I'm hurt and still sad. I want to stop bc I accept that it has become an obsession that is not healthy and does not serve me. Not that any obsession is healthy. I now understand that by obsessing about this person they are connected with my energy. I am feeding them a part of me which means they are constantly surround by me without even knowing it. I don't care to remove myself so that they'll return but it makes sense that once I stop they'll probably feel a sense of loss or just feel like energetically we are no longer bonded. I'm glad I found this video. I will begin my new journey today. TY ❤️
How are you now ?
This is exactly what I needed to hear! There’s a war in my head with these excessive thoughts ugh. But I’m so glad that I found your channel! I don’t need him on my mind 24/7 especially during this quarantine 😂
This video is so good. This has worked for me. Shift your focus to obsess over something else, a positive, something for you. Also she mentions you’re obsessing over a result happening in the way you want it, it might happen for you but just not how you expect. But it won’t happen until you stop. It’s like you find your keys when you stop looking for them 💁♀️🌸
Helping others and putting smile on their faces is a form of healing...
Sometimes I want to move on and sometimes I don’t. Either way, I know it’s horrible for my mental health and I need to do something about it so I can be more stable.
i recall one obsession i had and i finally asked myself "what does this woman want from me"? (in the knowledge that I had received nothing but anxiety, pain etc for my efforts) I answered the question myself and of course the answer was nothing, from that moment on things changed dramatically and almost overnight my obsession to all intensive purposes vanished, the grim truth is no matter what we do, what we look like, what 'gifts' we give them, and despite any amount of mental and physical energy we devote to this 'target of our desires/obsession' if the spark (on their part) is not there nothing will ignite it. many thanks for your wisdom Susan.
That's not strictly true. When you walk away (no contact) they will remember the effort you put into them. When you meet someone who returns your interest, they will wonder what they missed in you. Let them wonder! They had their chance, and proved they were not worthy of your attention! Never say never.
I'm going to use your wisdom in my life, of course I still have hope burning. That they will magically fall in love with me.
Thats good. I can follow that
Very powerful.
@@kerryfoster1 let them wonder ! I had same experience. Once u finally move on, they will running back to u
It’s quite interesting what you are saying about the energy.
I noticed my last crush would text me back once i would stop thinking about her. Like she would feel the pressure
Thanks for your advices
It took me four months to overcome this obsession, I must say.....🤣😅it was not easy,
I have learned to take a different perspective of things, started saying "yes" to my friends if they wanted us to go out. Eventually, I started meeting up with interesting people which I never thought that they exist. Even if you do not have a lot of friends, just decide to go out with them. The results are much more satisfying than obsessing about someone. Goodluck
I am you found a solution. Yes, the answer is to be social with your own friends. Love the right people who will love you the right way back.
Absolutely
I was so glad you mentioned that item at the end about energy and people feeling your energy. That’s one of those situations no one can prove but I believe is true.
Sometimes obsessing over someone can be entertaining as long as it doesn't interfere with sleep or other important functions. I'm obsessed with someone I see - knowing she looks at me only as a friend. Everyone needs someone special in their life and the mind creates that even if it's not there. I'm content with the relationship as it is - until the real one comes along
Scarlet Johansen won't reply to my emails so I've replaced her with learning how to play chess. It's not going too well.
😂 good luck
She wants someone who is determined, don't give up.
@@yourbffnat3602 😂😂
@@jessica76311 I'm glad you caught my sarcasm! 😂
i wish someone was obsessed with me as much as i obsess over other people 😭😭😭😭😭 it’s so bad
Also, I heard this trick! *"In your mind, change the name of your obsession."*
That made so much sense to me, because after a while, the whole obsession seemed to be directed towards a non-existant man. Then it feels crazy to spend any minute of brain power on obsessing over mere fantasy. (Non-attractive name helps, do not curse him in your mind, because that does spend energy. Boring, common name is the best.)
Problem is that I have mental image and a feel of him and it is harder to get over those. But again layering stuff on the top and getting busy in other parts of my life, helps.
And emotions and feelings will fade if I do not feed them with anything. I hope.
Also, I have started to check all other hansom men on the street. Just to get perspective and count how many possibilities there is to get attracted again. I know it is not that simple, but lets just get over this obsession.
Even that I have this song repeating in my head: "Nothing compares, nothing compares to you" from Sineab O'Connor. Lol 😂
Much love for everybody! 💖
thank you!
Omg! I feel you
I stopped my obsession when I got my first dog and I found out that my dog changed everything! She stopped me from that obsession and replaced it with her .. now she's the only one I think of and I'm worried about.. I try to do everything to make her comfortable and happy with me .. and that took the obsession of this person away ☺️now I'm way too happy 😜♥️😄
Yesss:)
That's great! Animals can truly change your life, for the better.
Your constant output is feeding them!
This hit me hard.
Very accurate and will ofcourse help me in controlling these obsessive thoughts.
Thanks a bunch!
You are amazing!😊
I definitely agree with the energy aspect of this , I feel like I am feeding them my energy with my thoughts , and as soon as I’m away from them they must feel it because they don’t feel that energy that I give them . So yes very brilliant fact !!
I’m convinced TH-cam is reading my mind because this was recommended to me completely randomly at a time I really needed it! Great advice thank you Susan ❤️
Brooke Rolfe,you are absolutely gorgeous ❤❤🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹and I will be glad to know you more
Brooke.Rolfe,you got a nice smile
METOO
Good evening my dear friend 🌹🙏🏻
Same. I'm glad I found this video
For me it helps to realize that being in love is basically just a hormonal chaos. So get ur hormons normal again and its gone. Get ur serotonin up and ur high dopamin down
All the facts about mental obsession is true with me .I have all the signs like can't sleep,keep memorizing about the person.This really helped me a lot....