I always kind of felt that. If were loving and missing someone so much that it causes pain then our heart can't be broken. It's working just fine. What Ive been missing tho is that I need to change my expectations so I can give my love to someone who wants and deserves it.
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1. You heart wasn't broken, your expectations were. 2. There is an all-you-can-eat buffet out there. So don't clinge onto that one person. 3. Think every situation as neutral. 4. Meditate - just sit in silence. Let your emotions flow. 5. Heal yourself before diving into another relationship.
Can’t stop watching this man. Thought I was over someone until I saw them on social media hanging out with another person. My mind couldn’t function but I realized just how much I was trying to forget everything instead of heal everything.
Same here, I was doing well, I was living independantly, I was happy, and then I found her Insta via TH-cam, then that went to watching stories, then that went to looking at pictures on fb of the guy she cheated on me with. Me doing that was incredibly stupid, but thanks to this, I can focus on her terrible attributes, and clear my mind, instead of focusing on replacent, replacement.
This just happened to me its been 4 months I feel like I’ve just gone back to the beginning I’m so hurt i saw a story of her hugging up to another guy i am so broken I’ve been trying to forget but I can’t i think about her every day someone help
@@xXDopamineInbalanceXx shes not worth it man. Chances are she misses you. Send her to hell forever. Once a cheater always a cheater. I was cheated on by a girl when I was 21 I was broken i truly loved her. 2 years later she re entered my life as friends and then the feelings came back. We dated for 3 more years and last Thursday I found out shes been cheating AGAIN. Be easy brotha
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I think it is also important to pay attention to which part of yourself is needing your attention in any given moment. While prossessing this break up I have got to the point where the adult logical part of me knows all the reasons why my former partner isn't right for me. I have come to the understanding of why we don't work. The part that is still greiving is my inner child who misses the comfort and warm feelings this person gave and the connection that I felt.
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I wish we had bad memories, things could be easier. It was too good to be true. The only thing this break up tought me is: Never, EVER trust anybody no matter how genuine and vulnerable they act.
It's amazing to me how someone can become a total stranger over night. People say "you picked the wrong person"... Well you often picked right they just changed into someone else and you never know what someone is capable of.
@@dante6985your comment resonates with me. I know exactly what you’re saying with changing overnight. Sure the pain of everything they’ve done to you is bad but realizing you’ve been lied to is damn near debilitating. Hindsight sucks. Looking back now and realizing all of the lies is the painful part for me.
@@gisellemichellecenteno7482 same happened me 2 days ago I can’t stop crying she was everything I lost my grandad last year my granny 2 years ago and now her 😭I’m in so much pain and I can’t stop crying I’ll never get over this 😭💔💔
@@patrickredmond4130 you will, ofc the pain of losing a family member is different, but about the girl, you’ll know your worth and you WILL believe me you WILL get over it, it’s been 4 months, he got someone else, but all i can see if that everything he did with me, he is doing with her. i know my worth, and hey i’m over it, and i’m happy. you’ll be happy too.
I needed this man, was my girlfriend of 5 years and we broke up 7 months ago. I always thought that I can chase her by hitting her up and constantly trying to be in her life. She finally gave me closure over the weekend and said that I should move on and she hates to see me hurt. Not gonna lie it felt we Re-broke up because I had hope throughout this whole time. It hurts still but this video is elevating my spirits thanks man
My girlfriend broke up with me June 2019 and I’m still having a hard time getting through it. She never gave me closure she told me to give her space and she ultimately blocked my number and every social media account I own. I feel your pain man. You are not alone
I'm going thru this right now I don't know what too do she came today to get the last of her things she called me baby by accident and it hurt so much too hear her say I apologise I meant David.... Why does this hurt so much
patty beans *UPDATE the whole Space thing was a cover up she was seeing my College professor on the low behind my back and didnt know how to tell me. Shes a crappy person because i told her while we were together to cut off that little friendship with him and now look smh good riddance. But apparently he broke it off with her karma (im 25 and this guy is almost 60 smfh)
You make so much sense about breaking expectations and a all you can eat buffet. Remembering that everything is neutral and it’s not controllable. I am so much stronger now spiritually! Thank God🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿
"Is this the beginning or the end and on what will you focus" helped me the most - love frome a 25y old male borderliner who was broken up with 6 months ago and just learned a few days ago she is now with the guy I shouldnt worry about thank you I am now trying to heal and stop thinking my heart was broken bro my heart goes out to all the heart broken ones watching in 2024
No fuss, no spooky stuff, no cheap psychological "tricks". Just straight to the point and practical advice. One of the best videos I've watched on the subject. Thank you!
I liked the image of the all you can eat buffet of people out there ready to love you better than the ex that left you: our minds tents to forget that we were never made to be loved just by one person,especially if that person doesn't want to be in a relationship with us no more. 😊
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This is great advise. One thing that's helping me is writing down the bad parts of the relationship. And everyone has them. Our mind plays tricks and shows only the good. Keep the bad parts in your pocket and check them when your mind is telling you they were the best thing ever.
"Your heart wasn't broken, your expectations were.", "The one thing you can control, is the meaning you give a situation." ... Excellent advice! I already had these concepts in my subconscious, but you brought them out and put it into words. Thank you!
I always thought that people who said that they would never date again were dumb and kinda cringey but I definitely understand now I don't feel like being lied to again I swear everyone lies and I'm so sick of it
It isn’t the “time” that heals... it’s the meaning that we give the breakup. You could have dropped the mic 🎤 right then and there! Loved your video. Thank you Matt!
When you said "delete tinder and give the love to yourself not expect other people to give that to YOU. That was on point . We search for ourselves through the eyes of other people and try live up to other people's expectations when in reality we should feed ourselves comfort and love so that we are strong on OUR own two feet and. Like will smith said, his life is about HIS journey, not his wife's. His wife has to walk her own journey to find herself and love herself. They can just journey together side by side
That's all very well, but the touch of your beloved, imprints on us. Fortunately though, suddenly we can go cold on them, when they reveal they are abusive... we need more help from hypnosis or something, to heal us, make us forget the idiots
Very well said! My ex-girlfriend broke up with me about 4 or five months ago and I haven't been healing for a while and still haven't till I see this. Thank You!
This video has really helped me. Thank you. I am really struggling to get over and stop thinking about my ex. I find rejection so hard. He treated me awful and was quite emotionally abusive, so why do i keep remembering the few happy times. I loved when you said "all you can eat buffet" hehe
That part where you said cry and scream at the top of your lungs❤️ I can’t tell you how much that really touched me. It’s been 8 months and I still can’t let anybody in. Im still healing. Thank you!! Keep doing what you’re doing!
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My heart wasn't broken, my expectations were. Best one I've heard. This is the first break up that I have really felt the pain with. But hearing heartbroken put as an expectation, sounds true. Puts things in perspective for sure. Thank you!
My Brother thank you. I have watched so much videos perhaps hundreds of healing from breakups on TH-cam and I finally have come across your video. I need to watch this 1000x times more to let it sink in. But I have to tell you that your video is the most transformative and makes total sense.
Thanks brother!!! I was in a 6 year relationship and it ended with that bee 🐝 💔 breaking my heart! It took me almost 3 years to let it go... but! You're rite, there's a whole lot of other women out there to love me better! Thanks bro. 👌
This entire video made a huge impact on me. Every step resonated with me. I am so glad I watched this. I will definitely be adhering to this. The most impactful thing you said is " the only thing you can control is the meaning you give a situation." Thank you!
i have been playing the video over and over again to let that "buffet" mindset sink in. I believe I need to see that there is an abundance of people that can love me better then he ever did. Thank you for breaking that point down. It really helps me to shift my mentality.
I loved this! I broke up a week ago and although I’m not in so much pain (i’ve been through several breakups) there is always something new you can learn from each breakup 🙂 thank you for this message 🙏🏾
Wow. That was an extremely mature, and very intelligent approach to losing a partner. I’m not gonna say how long this break up has been, because that is embarrassing. However, by watching videos like yours it shows that I have not given up the fight to heal. I really appreciate your words. Thank you
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Thanks for this amazing video. I loved that "there's an all you can eat buffet of amazing people who will love you unconditionally!" Very comforting video Thanks a lot 😊
This is the best video about break ups I have watched. It's difficult to deal with a relationship ending and have people act like you can get over it immediately.
Letting go of the expectation... that hit home right there and instantly pulled me out of this sadness while im at work. I never thought of it like that but thank you that helped
I just miss this person. He’s unique and can’t be replaced. It’s like losing a precious jewel. I can move on, and maybe the next person will be better for me, but I still miss the unique energy of that person.
Going through a breakup currently, this has really helped. Have really been struggling the last few weeks, but your advice has seriously made a difference. Thank you
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Hello sweetheart never give up on the one you love...I know of a man who can attract back your ex within 48 hours hours.... He was the one who brought back my ex within 48 hours, ever since I got back with my ex I have been enjoying my reunion with him..
This is one of the best videos ever.. I'm currently in a break up, my gf broke up 3 weeks ago.. I want to move on. I have seen so many videos, but nothing like this one. I'm going to Listen to this every day now for a while, because it feels like it will help me through the process
"WHAT IF, this thing you're going thru is designed to help you love yourself unconditionally so you're not reliant on someone else, another person outside of you to give you that love..." ... made me cry, because that's the truest statement that touched me the most. I've thought about "making room for a better person" to come into my life, except that i attracted another husband who ended up being the same type as my first husband (narcissist), and i've always struggled with self esteem and self confidence, so your "what if" comment hit me straight on! Thank you.
Thank you so much I just got out of a relationship 20 days ago and me and my ex were going to try to be friends but he blocked me out of nowhere so that's when I realized I need to move one and learn to love myself and focus on my future
Was with my ex for over a year and then we agreed to end it. I wanted her back and I haven’t contacted her for about a week. Found out today she’s been going out with other people already while I’m still crying. I’m trying to forget her rn but it’s hard cos it’s my first relationship
Your ex is struggling too man. They’re just going at it a different way. They’re probably crying at home too. Don’t think about that too much just focus on you ❤️
I definitely know how you feel bro. I just got out of a year and a half relationship 2 weeks ago. My partner had 2 relos before this so hes pretty experienced. This is my first but sadly he’s moved on but damn I’m still hurting. 😔
Thank you for this video. I really needed it. When I found myself making a fake page to spy on my ex I knew I had a serious problem. I was disgusted by doing that. I felt so pathetic lol. Now, I'm moving on with the help of videos like these. Thank you.
Months later and I’m still feeling the pain of broken expectations. I’m so glad your message made it to me today because I really need to start healing. I’m so sick of the pain.
That's some good wisdom you're passing on Matt. The power of meditation is incredible. That's something I use to manage life stress. Also, from my own experience it seems the person who gets over a relationship quickly has often already started moving on before the relationship has ended.
Registerd Nerd yes that was the case with me bc I had already started to lose feelings before she broke up with me so it was a bit easier but Ik that's not the case with everyone
Wow, watching this video has greatly brought a different perspective to my mind as opposed to how I've been thinking/feeling. I was with someone for almost 6 years and it's taken me a few years to "heal". I definitely went through that crying/emotional breakup stages the first year and since than I thought I've been "healing. I haven't been in a relationship since my last but I have gone on dates here and there. As of recently I have realized that I haven't truly allowed myself to move forward. My ex certainly moved on from me within months of our breakup which for so long I was so pissed/hurt. All in all, what really stood out to me in this video discussion was when he said "your heart is not broken but your expectations were". It was then that I've been telling myself all this time that I need my heart to heal but I'm tired of wanting to happen and I need to really fix the root of the problem which is my mind. It's crazy how years later I'm barely realizing this but better late than never right? I'm going to start practicing some self meditation and heal what's going on in my mind. Thank you I greatly appreciate your video and am more than happy to start subscribing.
This video was very helpful I just went through a hard breakup still healing and it's so comforting to hear what were all thinking and going through during this hard time..
I met a girl we met 4 times, first 3 times were amazing I indeed made too many expectations and got needy, .. and well here I am watching this video. I Feel bad for needing this after only knowing her for a week and so much emotions comes in.
Bro, your video was so uplifting, literally watched it 6 days after the hardest breakup I've ever had , I feel so broken and torn inside , your video made sense and its made me recalibrate my focus. I thank you for the tips, I really do. Your saving lives my brother. Mine especially.
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This is one of the best videos I've seen this far to help me through this hard time. Just ended.not by my choice..a 4 1/2 relationship with a person I expected to marry. That part about not having a broken heart but broken expectations really spoke to me. I am a permanent subscriber. Thank you
Reshaping my perspective about the term a broken heart helped quite a bit. This break up sure as hell feels emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically that my heart is broken, but in reality the only thing shattered were my expectations of what “we” could be, what we were meant to do/see/experience together… I still love her, truly… Despite this hurt. I know her heart, I was so lost when she came into my life. Now, it’s time to let her walk out… Thank you!
oh my gosh i needed this. this is so good. SO GOOD. Been trying to detach myself from my ex. There are moments where I think about the positive what if's of the situation, but now I am able to see clearly more of how this is a gift than wallowing in the past.
Thank you so much man! The biggest factor i can take away from my relationship is the lessons learned...and boy are there plenty of them. I definitely plan on using what ive learned from this relationship in the future.
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Thank you brother for this wholesome video, this was exactly the kind of advice I needed right now. Currently going through a hard time of dealing with the strong emotions that I'm still feeling for my ex. I will definitely try your approach of dealing with this. Thanks again 🙏🏼
Great video - needed to hear that- just ended a quick 5 month relationship that went really bad really fast. Love yourself first before anyone else. Meditate and yoga work wonders. So does painting and walking dogs.
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I needed this man, thank you so much. “it wasn’t your heart it was your expectations”, and to put that love you’re longing to give that other person into yourself.
love it ...we tend to hang on with positives memories and our mind tend to forget the negative ones but always remember that u are not anymore with a person for a reason... I suffered from a rough break up .. I have been in a 5 yrs relationship and learned a lot .. to love my self first.. and thank you matt for this amazing video!
@@ishastha6640 actually I am super great , I found love again and we moved out together in october . Now that I think about it , I realized I was in a toxic relationship but I used to believe that our relationship was normal and its was normal to fight . Thanks for asking it is very kind of you , when I received the notification and I red my comment I realized how much happener this year and im so grateful for it. Thanks Isha :)
@@anajosairapacas3430 I am so glad you found love again, and of course no worries! :) I fear that I wont be able to love anyone again...I was with my ex for 4 years but it didnt work out, though I still miss him very much
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Matt, Thank you for making this. I deleted tinder and I am focusing on myself only. The mind loves to think about all of the good things that happened in the relationship, but doesn't like to remember that she cheated on you. There are so many other girls out there who want to do right in a relationship. Thanks again for this. I will watch it every morning and night.
You’ll be ok just feel the emotions and don’t let your thoughts keep you in the past, don’t let your mind wonder back and forth about this person. What you had with that person was. Is not about forgetting that it happened. Is about knowing that you will continue living life without being a prisoner of your memories that can triggered your emotions into re living a painful experience. Stop the recycling of thoughts and the pain will subside
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I watched this video a year ago when my girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me and it helped and now a year down the line I’m watching it to get over someone else who treats me like I’m nothing and won’t even put in the time to have a conversation with me to fix things. I made the first step of blocking her and now I’m back here watching this to help me heal. Thank you for making this video.
Great video. Things that I been telling myself, but this was the reinforcement that I needed. Especially since couldn't sleep, laying here not being able to sleep or get her out of my mind. Just the video that I needed. Greatly appreciated 🙌🏾 Especially the part about expectations being broken. Always been told to lower my expectations and raise my acceptance. But tend to still hold certain people to a higher level of expectation. Which is a recipe for disaster. Taking some time with my thoughts. Great video.
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Telling me not to start looking for another lover right away and to focus on myself is really helpful. I am new to heartbreak after going through my first relationship, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing right now (and for how long) in order to heal. You saying, "give it a month or two" of focusing on loving myself gives me a much needed frame of reference. Thank you.
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I’ve still got some work to do. This was helpful! Thanks! I really did feel like I should just prepare to be alone forever. Perhaps there are people willing to love me, and I realize now that first and foremost I need to love me.
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I was with my ex for almost a year actually.. June 6th was suppose to be our anniversary.. But she broke me.. She purposely lost feelings for me. She got my best friend. Then she came back to me and I was foolish to bring her back, a week later she leaves.. it's been a week since and it hurts. Thank you so much for this video it helped so much
Any girl sick enough to go after your best friend has to be set loose. She's either mentally ill, or just a sick fuck. There is no innocence in that. She knows what she did.
I’m sorry you went through this. I feel my ex will come back and I will let him back in. I’m sure she told you all these things and you thought things would be different.
Thank you so much . I’m going through the worst heart break right now . I felt abused and unhappy most times . He was very controlling too but he was the sweetest person too . I love his so much till this moment but it’s time to let go and it’s hard . We have been together for almost 6 years . And this is really difficult. But this helped me a whole lot . The part where you said it was my expectations that was broken is so true because he planted so many good thoughts for our future in my head that I can’t seem to let go for now . But I’ll be fine . Thanks so much. And if you are reading this . Please know that some days are worse than others . ❤ and 💡
This video has been really beneficial for me. At one of the lowest times in my life, the pain and turmoil seemed unbearable. After watching this video and really processing and absorbing each word, I gained a sense of clarity and comfort. Thank you for sharing your experience; it has truly helped me and countless others.
I just got broken up with. The thing about expectations makes complete sense. I thought I was gonna do certain things with my ex but I couldn’t control the fact that she didn’t want those. I just wanna day thank you for opening up my mind to this
Wow great video! My heart has been crushed. Feel like I lost the girl I am supposed to be with. Your words hit home. There are other women out there that will love me deeper than she ever did. Thanks for the great video brother...
Aw I can’t imagine you so hurt like that , that you are screaming in a pillow . Made me cry that someone can feel exactly like I do but I’m so glad your healed & pray healing on everyone watching this.
One issue - saying there's always someone better out there is exactly what can cause a woman to fail to truly pair bond with their current partner. But great guidance in general
My ex come back to me few days ago❤ I got help from a relationship Restorer Dr Ezekiel who was able to mend back my broken 💔 relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for second chance.He can bring your ex back.
My ex came back to me a few days ago ❤️ I got help from a Relationship Restorer Dr Steve who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for a second chance. He can bring your ex back
I love this video, real down to earth healing and doesn't give a gimmicky spin to it. I love the advice of deleting dating apps and don't look for validation from social media but to give it to myself. Very good video bro.
Ur right... it felt so wrong and toxic. It didn't fit my rebuilding process. And i felt liberated. The most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. You will be amazed ..
Think you hit the nail right on the head with this one. While some of the tips you gave for the early stages of healing didn't apply to my specific situation the rest of it was spot on. Ive been trying to get over my first break up for 3 months now and have made minimal progress, but its getting better. Just wish I could have found this weeks ago, thank you
Thank you, I really appreciate the guidance! My problem is when i see all the memories i want to seek alcohol to numb the pain. Tonight I decided to not go out but instead to look at the memories, feel them and just accept them. Mt heart was never broken, just my expectations, that goes long ways. Thank you.
I found this video a little late but it helped a lot. I felt pretty hopeless after my most recent breakup and re-framing it as a beginning rather then an ending is a fantastic tip, Thank you.
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I had my first heartbreak recently. I would say it was about a month ago. Sure, me and him are young, very young, and we have more to experience, but it still hurt so very much. However, I've learned that taking care of myself is the most important thing I could do. I gave up a lot of myself just for him to be happy. I forgot who I was and finding myself again has been an interesting journey. Of course I've had my ups and downs, but that's a part of the process and I'm willing to feel the emotions that I need to feel in order to heal. Thank you so much for this video. It really did help a lot. The quote: "There is an all you can eat buffet of amazing partners out there that are willing to love me unconditionally". That one hit so hard that it made me cry. I know that I deserve to be loved the way I loved him. I deserve happiness and kindness and gentleness and respect. Having this breakup happen made me realize how good of a person I was. Again, thank you so much for sharing this video as well as your personal experiences. I feel much better, and it truly helps a lot, thank you :)
This was such a well put together script with incredible tips. Especially the buffet image was opening my eyes again. Even though i was the one to call it quits. But not everything we want to work out should or can workout. For me the breakup (hopefully) hurts less than staying with this person
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My heart wasn't broken, my expectations were. Thanks. That makes it seem less painful.
Great words
Yes. Changing it to expectations is a great shift!
Yeah. I really love this advice. This changed my perspective of breakups. It makes me feel better now. Thank you!
Same
I always kind of felt that. If were loving and missing someone so much that it causes pain then our heart can't be broken. It's working just fine. What Ive been missing tho is that I need to change my expectations so I can give my love to someone who wants and deserves it.
When you feel , you heal. Don't push your pain away. Feel it. ❤️ For anyone who is going through this, you got this. ✨
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Wh@t's@pp him
Hmm... feeling
Wat do you mean with "feel it". I'm already feeling it. What should I feel more?
@@christabelhaneul4939 No
1. You heart wasn't broken, your expectations were.
2. There is an all-you-can-eat buffet out there. So don't clinge onto that one person.
3. Think every situation as neutral.
4. Meditate - just sit in silence.
Let your emotions flow.
5. Heal yourself before diving into another relationship.
It hurts when people come to your life, make you special and when you got attached to them they leave.
Yeah😭😭😭😭
It really sucks
Or they make you leave
So painful. I’m dealing with this know
Can’t stop watching this man. Thought I was over someone until I saw them on social media hanging out with another person. My mind couldn’t function but I realized just how much I was trying to forget everything instead of heal everything.
Same here, I was doing well, I was living independantly, I was happy, and then I found her Insta via TH-cam, then that went to watching stories, then that went to looking at pictures on fb of the guy she cheated on me with. Me doing that was incredibly stupid, but thanks to this, I can focus on her terrible attributes, and clear my mind, instead of focusing on replacent, replacement.
Same thing happened to me during this corona. Not a good way to find out they seeing someone
@@terrilee734 Exactly, we're all in a weird isolated space right now stuck at home, just makes shit like this even rougher.
This just happened to me its been 4 months I feel like I’ve just gone back to the beginning I’m so hurt i saw a story of her hugging up to another guy i am so broken I’ve been trying to forget but I can’t i think about her every day someone help
@@xXDopamineInbalanceXx shes not worth it man. Chances are she misses you. Send her to hell forever. Once a cheater always a cheater. I was cheated on by a girl when I was 21 I was broken i truly loved her. 2 years later she re entered my life as friends and then the feelings came back. We dated for 3 more years and last Thursday I found out shes been cheating AGAIN. Be easy brotha
"Your heart wasn't broken... your expectation was!" PREACH BROTHER!!!!
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I think it is also important to pay attention to which part of yourself is needing your attention in any given moment. While prossessing this break up I have got to the point where the adult logical part of me knows all the reasons why my former partner isn't right for me. I have come to the understanding of why we don't work. The part that is still greiving is my inner child who misses the comfort and warm feelings this person gave and the connection that I felt.
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This 💯%
This is exactly what I’m going through.
Exactly what I'm going through
I wish we had bad memories, things could be easier. It was too good to be true.
The only thing this break up tought me is: Never, EVER trust anybody no matter how genuine and vulnerable they act.
It's amazing to me how someone can become a total stranger over night. People say "you picked the wrong person"... Well you often picked right they just changed into someone else and you never know what someone is capable of.
@@dante6985your comment resonates with me. I know exactly what you’re saying with changing overnight. Sure the pain of everything they’ve done to you is bad but realizing you’ve been lied to is damn near debilitating. Hindsight sucks. Looking back now and realizing all of the lies is the painful part for me.
I cried through most of the video. I’m still sad but I learned a lot
Same fam 😭😭😢😢😢
it hurts to know they are gone. we broke up yesterday. but what hurts me is that he became everything he said he wouldn’t become.
I feel you💔
@@gisellemichellecenteno7482 same happened me 2 days ago I can’t stop crying she was everything I lost my grandad last year my granny 2 years ago and now her 😭I’m in so much pain and I can’t stop crying I’ll never get over this 😭💔💔
@@patrickredmond4130 you will, ofc the pain of losing a family member is different, but about the girl, you’ll know your worth and you WILL believe me you WILL get over it, it’s been 4 months, he got someone else, but all i can see if that everything he did with me, he is doing with her. i know my worth, and hey i’m over it, and i’m happy. you’ll be happy too.
“ Your heart isn’t broken, your expectations were!” Wow that’s good
I needed this man, was my girlfriend of 5 years and we broke up 7 months ago. I always thought that I can chase her by hitting her up and constantly trying to be in her life. She finally gave me closure over the weekend and said that I should move on and she hates to see me hurt. Not gonna lie it felt we Re-broke up because I had hope throughout this whole time. It hurts still but this video is elevating my spirits thanks man
My girlfriend broke up with me June 2019 and I’m still having a hard time getting through it. She never gave me closure she told me to give her space and she ultimately blocked my number and every social media account I own. I feel your pain man. You are not alone
I'm going thru this right now I don't know what too do she came today to get the last of her things she called me baby by accident and it hurt so much too hear her say I apologise I meant David.... Why does this hurt so much
patty beans *UPDATE the whole
Space thing was a cover up she was seeing my
College professor on the low behind my back and didnt know how to tell me. Shes a crappy person because i told her while we were together to cut off that little friendship with him and now look smh good riddance. But apparently he broke it off with her karma (im 25 and this guy is almost 60 smfh)
All the best with your healing process... I have empathy
You make so much sense about breaking expectations and a all you can eat buffet. Remembering that everything is neutral and it’s not controllable. I am so much stronger now spiritually! Thank God🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿
"Is this the beginning or the end and on what will you focus" helped me the most - love frome a 25y old male borderliner who was broken up with 6 months ago and just learned a few days ago she is now with the guy I shouldnt worry about
thank you I am now trying to heal and stop thinking my heart was broken bro my heart goes out to all the heart broken ones watching in 2024
This has been a sick year. I send prayers and love your way fam. I know this feeling.
No fuss, no spooky stuff, no cheap psychological "tricks". Just straight to the point and practical advice. One of the best videos I've watched on the subject. Thank you!
One of the best break up videos i have seen,deserves way more recognition.
I agree
100% agree!!!
Yeah man for real, my break up was very very hard....and now after watching this I'm all good👍
I liked the image of the all you can eat buffet of people out there ready to love you better than the ex that left you: our minds tents to forget that we were never made to be loved just by one person,especially if that person doesn't want to be in a relationship with us no more. 😊
Yes so true!!
how are you now?
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This is great advise. One thing that's helping me is writing down the bad parts of the relationship. And everyone has them. Our mind plays tricks and shows only the good. Keep the bad parts in your pocket and check them when your mind is telling you they were the best thing ever.
Thinking about the person's bad side kinda' lessen the sting, the pain of breakup lol ❤
"Your heart wasn't broken, your expectations were.", "The one thing you can control, is the meaning you give a situation." ... Excellent advice! I already had these concepts in my subconscious, but you brought them out and put it into words. Thank you!
Amen
I agree💯
Yes he did alot of the same for me as well
you're right. it's the future life that I'm missing the most. the past was not wonderful....we could have done better, but we didn't.
My heart wasn't broken my expectations were . I feel this . so true ..
𝑴𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒊𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒘 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒂𝒈𝒐😢, 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝑰 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒎𝒚 𝒆𝒙 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕😊😊.
𝘈𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 6𝘺𝘳𝘴,𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘶𝘱 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯,𝘪 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 .𝘪 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘐 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘺 𝘦𝘹 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘳. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵,,𝘢𝘱𝘱 𝘩𝘪𝘮.
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I always thought that people who said that they would never date again were dumb and kinda cringey but I definitely understand now I don't feel like being lied to again I swear everyone lies and I'm so sick of it
This video came EXACTLY when I needed it, thank you so much matt
Divine timing! You’re welcome :)
how are you a year later?
@@mattcama6504 my ex broke my heart but I still cant get over him 💔😪
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It isn’t the “time” that heals... it’s the meaning that we give the breakup. You could have dropped the mic 🎤 right then and there! Loved your video. Thank you Matt!
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When you said "delete tinder and give the love to yourself not expect other people to give that to YOU. That was on point . We search for ourselves through the eyes of other people and try live up to other people's expectations when in reality we should feed ourselves comfort and love so that we are strong on OUR own two feet and.
Like will smith said, his life is about HIS journey, not his wife's. His wife has to walk her own journey to find herself and love herself. They can just journey together side by side
Very true! Going to take a break and really love and accept myself.
That's all very well, but the touch of your beloved, imprints on us. Fortunately though, suddenly we can go cold on them, when they reveal they are abusive... we need more help from hypnosis or something, to heal us, make us forget the idiots
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This didn’t age well lol
@@kiddomatt7311 the message still stands
Very well said! My ex-girlfriend broke up with me about 4 or five months ago and I haven't been healing for a while and still haven't till I see this. Thank You!
This video has really helped me. Thank you. I am really struggling to get over and stop thinking about my ex. I find rejection so hard. He treated me awful and was quite emotionally abusive, so why do i keep remembering the few happy times. I loved when you said "all you can eat buffet" hehe
felt that ! and i keep wanting to text him but i just hurt myself every time i do :/
Let your ex go it gets better after a few weeks sometimes months, but you will definitely get over them
@@j.jeaniei did the same thing 😢
I've been depressed for long, this was a big step in healing
heyy i have a question please answer are u ok now i just need someone to talk to please add me on snapchat i just need a bsf to talk to please help
@@yandelmorales2018 what’s your Snapchat
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That part where you said cry and scream at the top of your lungs❤️ I can’t tell you how much that really touched me. It’s been 8 months and I still can’t let anybody in. Im still healing. Thank you!! Keep doing what you’re doing!
My ex came back to me few days ago ❤️ I got help from a Relationship Restorer Dr Steve Who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for a second chance. He can bring your ex back
Focus on giving yourself the love you're looking for! That just sent a wave crashing through my mind. Awesome tips!
My heart wasn't broken, my expectations were. Best one I've heard. This is the first break up that I have really felt the pain with. But hearing heartbroken put as an expectation, sounds true. Puts things in perspective for sure. Thank you!
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My Brother thank you. I have watched so much videos perhaps hundreds of healing from breakups on TH-cam and I finally have come across your video. I need to watch this 1000x times more to let it sink in. But I have to tell you that your video is the most transformative and makes total sense.
Thanks brother!!! I was in a 6 year relationship and it ended with that bee 🐝 💔 breaking my heart! It took me almost 3 years to let it go... but! You're rite, there's a whole lot of other women out there to love me better! Thanks bro. 👌
This entire video made a huge impact on me. Every step resonated with me. I am so glad I watched this. I will definitely be adhering to this. The most impactful thing you said is " the only thing you can control is the meaning you give a situation."
Thank you!
i have been playing the video over and over again to let that "buffet" mindset sink in. I believe I need to see that there is an abundance of people that can love me better then he ever did. Thank you for breaking that point down. It really helps me to shift my mentality.
I loved this! I broke up a week ago and although I’m not in so much pain (i’ve been through several breakups) there is always something new you can learn from each breakup 🙂 thank you for this message 🙏🏾
Watching this made me realize I deserve someone 10 times better than who I was crying over. Thank you sir!
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Coming back to this after three years and the line which hits the hardest and helped me move on. “ your heart isn’t broken, your expectations are.”
This video is sooo eye opening
I’m glad it helped you :)
how are you a year later?
Wow. That was an extremely mature, and very intelligent approach to losing a partner. I’m not gonna say how long this break up has been, because that is embarrassing. However, by watching videos like yours it shows that I have not given up the fight to heal. I really appreciate your words. Thank you
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I love how you encourage to cry. Especially since you’re a man - men should cry, they must!, in order to heal, just like I as a woman👍
I respected his candor about crying every night too. I'm a very masculine man and I cry sometimes so often I get annoyed with myself.
Thanks for this amazing video.
I loved that "there's an all you can eat buffet of amazing people who will love you unconditionally!"
Very comforting video
Thanks a lot 😊
This is the best video about break ups I have watched. It's difficult to deal with a relationship ending and have people act like you can get over it immediately.
Letting go of the expectation... that hit home right there and instantly pulled me out of this sadness while im at work. I never thought of it like that but thank you that helped
When you said when we heal we feel. The tears starting falling. Thank you so much for this.
I just miss this person. He’s unique and can’t be replaced. It’s like losing a precious jewel. I can move on, and maybe the next person will be better for me, but I still miss the unique energy of that person.
Going through a breakup currently, this has really helped. Have really been struggling the last few weeks, but your advice has seriously made a difference. Thank you
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This is one of the best videos ever.. I'm currently in a break up, my gf broke up 3 weeks ago.. I want to move on. I have seen so many videos, but nothing like this one. I'm going to Listen to this every day now for a while, because it feels like it will help me through the process
How are you doing now?
"WHAT IF, this thing you're going thru is designed to help you love yourself unconditionally so you're not reliant on someone else, another person outside of you to give you that love..." ... made me cry, because that's the truest statement that touched me the most. I've thought about "making room for a better person" to come into my life, except that i attracted another husband who ended up being the same type as my first husband (narcissist), and i've always struggled with self esteem and self confidence, so your "what if" comment hit me straight on! Thank you.
The difference between heartbreak and expectations is what help me the most. Thank you
Thank you so much I just got out of a relationship 20 days ago and me and my ex were going to try to be friends but he blocked me out of nowhere so that's when I realized I need to move one and learn to love myself and focus on my future
how are you going now ?
@@goodbye_7 I've moved on and I'm still trying to learn to love myself and I have new guy I really like and hope it goes well
Was with my ex for over a year and then we agreed to end it. I wanted her back and I haven’t contacted her for about a week. Found out today she’s been going out with other people already while I’m still crying. I’m trying to forget her rn but it’s hard cos it’s my first relationship
same exact thing with me bro, i feel you
Feel your pain.
Me fuckin too 😪
Anyone got advise? How are you doing 7 months later?
Your ex is struggling too man. They’re just going at it a different way. They’re probably crying at home too. Don’t think about that too much just focus on you ❤️
I definitely know how you feel bro. I just got out of a year and a half relationship 2 weeks ago. My partner had 2 relos before this so hes pretty experienced. This is my first but sadly he’s moved on but damn I’m still hurting. 😔
Thank you for this video. I really needed it. When I found myself making a fake page to spy on my ex I knew I had a serious problem. I was disgusted by doing that. I felt so pathetic lol. Now, I'm moving on with the help of videos like these. Thank you.
I’m going through the same . I really don’t know how I’m going to make it or go on . I’m lost
Months later and I’m still feeling the pain of broken expectations. I’m so glad your message made it to me today because I really need to start healing. I’m so sick of the pain.
The last thing u mentioned about the love that we want to give someone else, give that to ourselves is great. Thanks for this video
That's some good wisdom you're passing on Matt. The power of meditation is incredible. That's something I use to manage life stress. Also, from my own experience it seems the person who gets over a relationship quickly has often already started moving on before the relationship has ended.
Registerd Nerd yes that was the case with me bc I had already started to lose feelings before she broke up with me so it was a bit easier but Ik that's not the case with everyone
Wow, watching this video has greatly brought a different perspective to my mind as opposed to how I've been thinking/feeling. I was with someone for almost 6 years and it's taken me a few years to "heal". I definitely went through that crying/emotional breakup stages the first year and since than I thought I've been "healing. I haven't been in a relationship since my last but I have gone on dates here and there. As of recently I have realized that I haven't truly allowed myself to move forward. My ex certainly moved on from me within months of our breakup which for so long I was so pissed/hurt. All in all, what really stood out to me in this video discussion was when he said "your heart is not broken but your expectations were". It was then that I've been telling myself all this time that I need my heart to heal but I'm tired of wanting to happen and I need to really fix the root of the problem which is my mind. It's crazy how years later I'm barely realizing this but better late than never right? I'm going to start practicing some self meditation and heal what's going on in my mind. Thank you I greatly appreciate your video and am more than happy to start subscribing.
This video was very helpful I just went through a hard breakup still healing and it's so comforting to hear what were all thinking and going through during this hard time..
I met a girl we met 4 times, first 3 times were amazing I indeed made too many expectations and got needy, .. and well here I am watching this video. I Feel bad for needing this after only knowing her for a week and so much emotions comes in.
Same...
Bro, your video was so uplifting, literally watched it 6 days after the hardest breakup I've ever had , I feel so broken and torn inside , your video made sense and its made me recalibrate my focus. I thank you for the tips, I really do. Your saving lives my brother. Mine especially.
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This is one of the best videos I've seen this far to help me through this hard time. Just ended.not by my choice..a 4 1/2 relationship with a person I expected to marry. That part about not having a broken heart but broken expectations really spoke to me. I am a permanent subscriber. Thank you
How you feeling now?
Reshaping my perspective about the term a broken heart helped quite a bit. This break up sure as hell feels emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically that my heart is broken, but in reality the only thing shattered were my expectations of what “we” could be, what we were meant to do/see/experience together…
I still love her, truly… Despite this hurt. I know her heart, I was so lost when she came into my life. Now, it’s time to let her walk out… Thank you!
oh my gosh i needed this. this is so good. SO GOOD. Been trying to detach myself from my ex. There are moments where I think about the positive what if's of the situation, but now I am able to see clearly more of how this is a gift than wallowing in the past.
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Thank you so much man! The biggest factor i can take away from my relationship is the lessons learned...and boy are there plenty of them. I definitely plan on using what ive learned from this relationship in the future.
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Thank you brother for this wholesome video, this was exactly the kind of advice I needed right now. Currently going through a hard time of dealing with the strong emotions that I'm still feeling for my ex. I will definitely try your approach of dealing with this. Thanks again 🙏🏼
Meditation got to be my best point. I love the fact that healing comes feeling
Great video - needed to hear that- just ended a quick 5 month relationship that went really bad really fast.
Love yourself first before anyone else. Meditate and yoga work wonders. So does painting and walking dogs.
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I needed this man, thank you so much. “it wasn’t your heart it was your expectations”, and to put that love you’re longing to give that other person into yourself.
love it ...we tend to hang on with positives memories and our mind tend to forget the negative ones but always remember that u are not anymore with a person for a reason... I suffered from a rough break up .. I have been in a 5 yrs relationship and learned a lot .. to love my self first.. and thank you matt for this amazing video!
how are you a year later?
@@ishastha6640 actually I am super great , I found love again and we moved out together in october . Now that I think about it , I realized I was in a toxic relationship but I used to believe that our relationship was normal and its was normal to fight . Thanks for asking it is very kind of you , when I received the notification and I red my comment I realized how much happener this year and im so grateful for it. Thanks Isha :)
@@anajosairapacas3430 I am so glad you found love again, and of course no worries! :) I fear that I wont be able to love anyone again...I was with my ex for 4 years but it didnt work out, though I still miss him very much
Seriously when you said my heart is not broken, but my expectations were.. really hit the nail on the head! Thank you 😊
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Matt, Thank you for making this. I deleted tinder and I am focusing on myself only. The mind loves to think about all of the good things that happened in the relationship, but doesn't like to remember that she cheated on you. There are so many other girls out there who want to do right in a relationship. Thanks again for this. I will watch it every morning and night.
Me too brother, my was hard as well I still picture my ex when I have sex with other women 😟
This was posted two years ago but it still rings true today. All of it. Exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.
You’ll be ok just feel the emotions and don’t let your thoughts keep you in the past, don’t let your mind wonder back and forth about this person. What you had with that person was. Is not about forgetting that it happened. Is about knowing that you will continue living life without being a prisoner of your memories that can triggered your emotions into re living a painful experience. Stop the recycling of thoughts and the pain will subside
I can not thank you enough for this video... "when we feel, we heal" its a process but this helped me so much to regain focus!
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I watched this video a year ago when my girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me and it helped and now a year down the line I’m watching it to get over someone else who treats me like I’m nothing and won’t even put in the time to have a conversation with me to fix things. I made the first step of blocking her and now I’m back here watching this to help me heal. Thank you for making this video.
Great video. Things that I been telling myself, but this was the reinforcement that I needed. Especially since couldn't sleep, laying here not being able to sleep or get her out of my mind.
Just the video that I needed. Greatly appreciated 🙌🏾
Especially the part about expectations being broken.
Always been told to lower my expectations and raise my acceptance.
But tend to still hold certain people to a higher level of expectation. Which is a recipe for disaster.
Taking some time with my thoughts.
Great video.
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Telling me not to start looking for another lover right away and to focus on myself is really helpful. I am new to heartbreak after going through my first relationship, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing right now (and for how long) in order to heal. You saying, "give it a month or two" of focusing on loving myself gives me a much needed frame of reference. Thank you.
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Advice I wish I heard sooner. Thank you so much for your wise words brother ❤
My favourite quote from this video. Its not your heart that's broken. It's your expectations. Also to love yourself. 🤗
My heart isn't broken, my expectations were! so right!
I’ve still got some work to do. This was helpful! Thanks! I really did feel like I should just prepare to be alone forever. Perhaps there are people willing to love me, and I realize now that first and foremost I need to love me.
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I was with my ex for almost a year actually.. June 6th was suppose to be our anniversary.. But she broke me.. She purposely lost feelings for me. She got my best friend. Then she came back to me and I was foolish to bring her back, a week later she leaves.. it's been a week since and it hurts. Thank you so much for this video it helped so much
Keep your head bro..
Any girl sick enough to go after your best friend has to be set loose. She's either mentally ill, or just a sick fuck. There is no innocence in that. She knows what she did.
I’m sorry you went through this. I feel my ex will come back and I will let him back in. I’m sure she told you all these things and you thought things would be different.
Thank you so much . I’m going through the worst heart break right now . I felt abused and unhappy most times . He was very controlling too but he was the sweetest person too . I love his so much till this moment but it’s time to let go and it’s hard . We have been together for almost 6 years . And this is really difficult. But this helped me a whole lot . The part where you said it was my expectations that was broken is so true because he planted so many good thoughts for our future in my head that I can’t seem to let go for now . But I’ll be fine . Thanks so much. And if you are reading this . Please know that some days are worse than others . ❤ and 💡
This video has been really beneficial for me. At one of the lowest times in my life, the pain and turmoil seemed unbearable. After watching this video and really processing and absorbing each word, I gained a sense of clarity and comfort. Thank you for sharing your experience; it has truly helped me and countless others.
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I just got broken up with. The thing about expectations makes complete sense. I thought I was gonna do certain things with my ex but I couldn’t control the fact that she didn’t want those. I just wanna day thank you for opening up my mind to this
How you feeling now? 🙂
Wow great video! My heart has been crushed. Feel like I lost the girl I am supposed to be with. Your words hit home. There are other women out there that will love me deeper than she ever did. Thanks for the great video brother...
Aw I can’t imagine you so hurt like that , that you are screaming in a pillow . Made me cry that someone can feel exactly like I do but I’m so glad your healed & pray healing on everyone watching this.
One issue - saying there's always someone better out there is exactly what can cause a woman to fail to truly pair bond with their current partner. But great guidance in general
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I love this video, real down to earth healing and doesn't give a gimmicky spin to it. I love the advice of deleting dating apps and don't look for validation from social media but to give it to myself. Very good video bro.
Ur right... it felt so wrong and toxic. It didn't fit my rebuilding process. And i felt liberated. The most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. You will be amazed ..
Think you hit the nail right on the head with this one. While some of the tips you gave for the early stages of healing didn't apply to my specific situation the rest of it was spot on. Ive been trying to get over my first break up for 3 months now and have made minimal progress, but its getting better. Just wish I could have found this weeks ago, thank you
Thank you so much for this content✨ I'm currently going through a breakup and I always call him back but not anymore I'm focusing on self improvement🌙
This helps a lot bro was with a girl for 3 years and it's been 5 months apart and I've found it super hard but I'm trying to better myself
This is powerfull. You are a great example of what it really is to be a man. to think to reflect to learn. to hurt to cry. and to grow. Thank you.
Thank you, I really appreciate the guidance! My problem is when i see all the memories i want to seek alcohol to numb the pain. Tonight I decided to not go out but instead to look at the memories, feel them and just accept them. Mt heart was never broken, just my expectations, that goes long ways. Thank you.
Bro everything you said is spot on, that type of mindset is exactly what I need rn, thanks so much man I appreciate it a lot
I found this video a little late but it helped a lot. I felt pretty hopeless after my most recent breakup and re-framing it as a beginning rather then an ending is a fantastic tip, Thank you.
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I had my first heartbreak recently. I would say it was about a month ago. Sure, me and him are young, very young, and we have more to experience, but it still hurt so very much. However, I've learned that taking care of myself is the most important thing I could do. I gave up a lot of myself just for him to be happy. I forgot who I was and finding myself again has been an interesting journey. Of course I've had my ups and downs, but that's a part of the process and I'm willing to feel the emotions that I need to feel in order to heal. Thank you so much for this video. It really did help a lot. The quote: "There is an all you can eat buffet of amazing partners out there that are willing to love me unconditionally". That one hit so hard that it made me cry. I know that I deserve to be loved the way I loved him. I deserve happiness and kindness and gentleness and respect. Having this breakup happen made me realize how good of a person I was. Again, thank you so much for sharing this video as well as your personal experiences. I feel much better, and it truly helps a lot, thank you :)
This was such a well put together script with incredible tips. Especially the buffet image was opening my eyes again. Even though i was the one to call it quits. But not everything we want to work out should or can workout. For me the breakup (hopefully) hurts less than staying with this person
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Thank you so much for this video. I needed this so bad. Pain is real but proper healing is critical
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“When you feel you heal” yes🙏
Most important takeaway is what meaning we attach to the person or relationship. So true. Great advice! Love the accent😉
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