I pray that those who were disrespected, insulted and compared by their partners to their friends and ex's will have a happy ending in their life. Everyone deserves to be happy.
If anyone doesn't appreciate you and make you feel irreplaceable in their life, or doesn't show you how valuable you are all the time: LEAVE. Be it a partner, a job, a friend, or sometimes your own family. Just leave, your life will instantly get better.
valuable all the time?? Id see if you find at least one person Who'd able to do this. You could leave and probably be alone for a long time then. This advice sounds like its only the People responsibilities to support your inner state. It works regarding job, lover maybe, but not friends. True friendship is about support, having fun, deep dialogues, but not about showing you how valuable you are for them
This talk helped me let go of my ex. I believe that everything that is happening right now is the right thing even if you still can't see it. We should just accept it and believe in the power of the universe because the path that is drawn to us is the right one. You who is heartbroken and reading this comment, have faith, be strong and know that what is for you will come back even if it means crossing mountains. For the mean time, enjoy life, don't take your time for granted and gain experience for the future. You can do this. X. update : 2 years later, that same ex came back begging me to take him back, he's trying to include me back, as much as he can, to his life. but guess what? the universe is indeed a powerful machinery that repels exes, friends, family etc. not meant for you, faraway from you. And right now I can clearly see why. I met my soulmate and I am ecstatic. Couldn't be more relieved to know that everything truly happens for a reason. Please stay strong, you're gonna be surprised by what life has to offer you. Trust the process, you are in the right path!
Yep! Is very true. My heart was broken for a long, long time. I clearly remember sitting at my computer and it hit me, "They don't love me for who and how I am." "They" being my family. The people in my life I love so dearly. But, each one wanted me to change and/or conform according to their will. To bow and bend to their feelings rather than owning my own feelings. So, I sat there feeling such despair, suffering and despondent and for long after. I can't say it was a waste of time since I needed time to heal. And let go.
She is courageous, intelligent and easy-going women. But I wonder why she did not leave her BF earlier. She left him until 12 years later, which is so strange to me. I mean I could not understand why it happened too late. Woman should know by instinct whether the man truly love you within 2 to 5 years. If he does not love you, don' t care about your need of getting married, you should have dumped him and find a better guy within 5 years.
If you dont lose the person that is wrong for you. You will never find the one that's right for you. At 32 yrs old, I was hurting so bad after a relationship had failed. I thought it was the end of the world. 3 years later I married my wife. She is a trustworthy and great woman. Perfect for me. She loves me like I've always wanted to be, and I love her even more.. Married for 26 years now. So glad that the last relationship ended. Because I would have never found my soul mate. Move on. There is someone that was born for you. I promise.
This gives me hope. I’m heartbroken and feel alone, but I know I can make it past this. One thing that I keep in mind is how much feelings can change over time. Time allows you to see things as they are and not through the lens of illusion. Maybe I can’t see clearly now, but everything happens for a reason and one day I will know why. I’m going to “set my heart ablaze for the flow of time waits for no one”
I am in a same situation at 31, unfortunately that relationship still hurt me.. It’s not my fault.. It’s just she found someone else and realise I was not required anymore. I can’t get out of it and feel like there is no better in this world who can make me feel the same way… I have anxiety and panic attacks and could not let go at the moment.. don’t know what destiny is written for me
Really needed to hear some real story because i am in the same phase and same age experiences all bad relationship in life..i love unconditionally but not gettng any returns
Let go of taking things personally Let go of what others think of you Let go of trying to be something you're not Let go of the need to be perfect Let go of not yet
I don't get it. Repeating the steps she said... I can do that too, not her but "I didn't come this far to sink so low, I'm finally holding on to letting go" slipknot
Watching this after a breakup is so powerful, especially when you know that you're letting go of a relationship that's hurting you and taking your love for granted
I'm going through the same..I have been in a relationship for almost 13 years. It is like I forgot how to live without him. He is blaming everything on me now and I don't know how to handle it even after supporting him with everything I have.
@@chenlha708 I'm in the same situation. The advice here is to focus on the things you want. Let him vent, be angry, blame - all his stuff, not yours. Your support of him is your stuff/problem so what if you did..... he owes you nothing for you being supportive (that was your stuff). Let it go and focus on what you want now.
My husband and I fell in love after three months. We are getting ready to celebrate 20 years of marriage. Sometimes love comes fast. I enjoyed this speech alot.
Daphne Dedrick, i hear stories like yours SO many times and i get so envious and sad bc i desire something like this to happen for me. To be able to connect with someone like that is amazing to me. I am very happy for you. Please send that kind of energy my way. ☺
Jill S. Murray's 5 Ways to Let Go: 1. Don't take things personally 2. Let go of what other people think. 3. Let go of trying to be something you are not. 4. Let go of the need to be perfect. 5. Let go of not yet.
Girl yes!!!! After a year and half of a very emotionally abusive rs I finally let him go cause he cheated, Im actually glad he cheated cause now I can let go of him and never think of looking back as much as it hurt
1 - Let go of taking things personally. 2 - Let go of what other people think. 3 - Let go of trying to be something you are not. 4 - Let go of the need to be perfect. 5 - Let go of not yet.
mindlesstube you have a point but it’s a relief to only care about how you feel about yourself and stop thinking about other people’s opinions until you’re doing better
There comes a time when we have to realize that what we're fighting for isn't fighting back for us. So, it's time to let it go. We must learn to break free from people who continue to trifle with our feelings. Too often we try to invent ways to show them how much we care about them. Even with all our failed efforts, we still continue to try. As hard as it is, there comes a time when we have to stop caring so much about people who don't care about us.
Dear I will introduce you to the same Relationship Restorer from POLAND who restored my broken relationship, he can bring your ex back just fine he's a very good man;;
thank you thank you!!!!!! "As hard as it is, there comes a time when we have to stop caring so much about people who don't care about us".......a simple phrase that I need TODAY! peace to you 49 Reply
When she said Hector not turning up to view the house was the moment she realized she wanted to break up, it gave me nice flashbacks. Not about relationships but life in general. You know at the moment you realize what you want means you have to give up something, makes changes and feel alone. But then something beautiful comes from it and it’s only when you look back you realise that lonely feeling was the start of something wonderful. Take a leap of faith ❤️
Hello am Dr.Stephene,I'm a specialist in bringing back exs and restoring back broken relationships.I have been on this for the past five years helping those who are having issues with their relationship and I have helped a lot of couples to restored back their broken relationship.Explain your suation to me my dear on WhatsApp:: (+2347044509792)Am willing to help you out 🌹🥰🥰🥰🥰
I've been struggling a lot for the past five months and then I listened to this: "I will never take time for granted again, instead I will use it to let go, to create space for the things I really wanted and for what matter most".
The fact that she took the leap at the age of 41 is super powerful! This talk filled me with energy!!! The 5 things to Let go of are so apt, and i loved the 'Let go of Not Yet' - Just do the things you always wanted to do!
Watching this because I’ve let a man bring me down time after time. I stayed time after time. On my birthday a few days ago I found out he was cheating. It’s time to let go and move on... wish me luck on finally finding the strength to make it happen
Just Meilina wow I forgot I posted this. Yep. Deleted him completely from my life and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since my birthday a year ago. Since letting him go I’ve been sooo much happier! This hyper focus hit me to wake up and to stop depending on others for happiness. I had to find my own. I even went back to college to work for my degree. Yesterday were finals and I finished all prerequisites and have straight A’s. I did in fact find the strength to move on, as well as motivation to better myself. Hopefully by this time next year I will have that degree, and be able to begin a new chapter in life.
It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.
I'm facing significant relationship problems and can't stand the idea of losing him. My love and longing for my partner are profound, and I'm ready to do anything to restore our connection. I would greatly appreciate any advice or help you could give.
Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.
I just searched for Father Akunna online indeed he is a very generous man and the most powerful spell caster that I have ever seen he brought my husband back to me with so much love ❤
I have to let go of someone who doesn't even care if I'm in their life anymore. I'm just holding onto memories now. I have to let go so that I can move on and breathe again. I have to do it for me. Thank you for this wonderful TED talk, Jill :)
Never too old, i let go 4 weeks ago when i turned 50 , i was a total people pleaser to friends, a dysfunctional family, bad relationships , no more, put yourself first , no one can make us happy , only we can do that , took 50yrs ❤
I let go of a bunch of toxic friends and family who have been making me sick for years with their meanness and emotional torture. Its hard. I sometimes feel very alone but I know better things are on the way. I'm sure of it.
aavaaz utha I’m going through this process, it’s tough but necessary. You can’t meet what’s meant for you when your hanging onto what’s not meant for you. Clarity comes and the right people come into your life 🙏
I understand what you mean...i also feel lonely,right after betrayal of the person who said loves me more than anything..if u feel lonely,u could write me in discord lana#7254. I just wana help someone to not feel lonely.
I took that leap at 42 and ended a 24 year marriage. The moment when I found out about him and our daughters friend was it, I just knew I couldn’t keep forgiving any longer. It’s been incredibly hard cutting soul ties but I thank Jesus for videos like these . I truly wish this stuff had been around years and years ago. I’d saved myself a lot of tears. Remember love doesn’t hurt. Love is patient and love is kind ❤
"Let go of taking things personally" is THE advice I needed right now. My ex drunk-cheating on me is about her own issues and insecurities and not some defect in me. My conscious is clear knowing I was genuine and faithful towards her. Her not being able to live up to the same level is her problem. I am letting her go.
This video has come to me at such a right time, I let go of 6 years Relationship with a guy who said all right things at right time, but never acted on them, due to his family issues...I feel loss, but I feel strong that I broke the pattern. There is huge power in letting go...and claiming yourself, back again...Peace.
I have experienced the same story, and untill today I thought something like this cannot happen, or happend on with me. But you my friend gave me hope! God bless you! Hope you are doing better! ❤️
This talk is so inspiring. Its been about 2 weeks since the girl who I loved, the girl I would have done anything for told me she wasn't happy with us. How she didn't like that I loved her more than she loved me. I'm heartbroken right now and very sad. As every day passes I realize that she didn't deserve me. I hope anyone reading that is suffering through a heartbreak realizes you are so much more. You are worthy of good things in life and you will find someone who loves you back. Take it day by day. Stay strong and most importantly don't give up, because I will not.
After 17yrs my no good husband walked away..after everything I did to keep the family intact..his drugs we're more important..I grieved for weeks and he did not care one bit..I needed to hear this today.
An addict only cares about the next high. They use the drugs and then they use the people around them. Lost my best friend this way. It took me three years to dump her and the level of toxicity in our relationship only became apparent after I cleansed myself of her. I learned a lot but it still hurts.
You'll never see the positive side of letting go unless you've already made it because sometimes we felt the need to be with someone to complete us but don't hold on for a relationship that is not giving you the reason to be happy because we're supposed to be with someone who will make us feel worth it because a life live with too much heartaches are a life that you will regret most in the future.
If the other person doesn’t make you feel worthy, reciprocates your feelings are not giving you what you need: acceptance, confirmation and validation of your feelings you have to let go.
Aha moment! Don’t make yourself wait when others have demonstrated an inability to acknowledge your feelings. You are showing that it’s okay for them to do this. And you are worth so much more. You are worth being shown love, appreciation and acknowledgment
She is courageous, intelligent and easy-going women. But I wonder why she did not leave her BF earlier. She left him until 12 years later, which is so strange to me. I mean I could not understand why it happened too late. Woman should know by instinct whether the man truly love you within 2 to 5 years. If he does not love you, don' t care about your need of getting married, you should have dumped him and find a better guy within 5 years.
Luckily you didn't make the other person think you gave a damn about them right? Whew. That would have you know... Affected them. We all should remember the most important thing in all relationships is what is ultimately in it for número uno. You. You deserve it all. At any time you want it. Bless you.
I broke up with my ex a month ago and yesterday we had a call, just to talk normally but he was cold and didn’t talked a lot even thought I acted normal and I was happy as usual, I noticed it didn’t affected me but I realized the kind and caring boyfriend I had is gone forever and this called made me realize I shouldn’t be sad to lose someone who is scared of loving and prefer destroying what we had because he is not ready. I don’t have to be the only one fighting for us, he never did anything and waited for me to come to him. That is over now.
I am 62, and have been trying to let go of a "Not Yet" man for 33 years. This Tedx Talks was a random find for me, but maybe not so random. Thank you for your words and story! God Bless!
To anyone reading this may you recover , please don’t lose hope there’s billions of people on the planet! You deserve someone who is going to 1000% commit to you don’t ever let someone drag you along with what if’s and maybe later you deserve better it’s time to let go. God can never let in ,until you decide to LET GO!
This is amazing, I really needed this today. I have had such a hard time letting go of toxic ex... the fear of never finding a connection again brought a lot of guilt and sadness into my life. Now after watching this I feel a sense of peace and excitement as I start my new adventure..
what I have been struggling with recently is trying to let go of attachment. I'm not even sure if I am doing it right, I want to detach from the people in my life like I don't want to need them to be happy so they won't leave my life because that is what the universe has shown me recently: if I am too attached to someone, they are going to leave you know and I don't know it is making me a bit crazy and it feels so good to get this off my chest but yeah. I think the important thing is for me to spend time with as many people (good people) in my life as possible, while I still have the time. I feel like I am just not allowed to get overly attached like in the "I HAVE to see you and spend time with you every day." yeah. that's attachment, making someone your entire personality. Individuality is the key wow I just realized this gosh universe thank you this is so calming. Individuality is key. Individuality is key. gosh I love this
My ex and I went through a mutual breakup knowing that I deserve better and that “better” wasn’t him. He made the first move to leave and I am still in so much pain from it because I really had high hopes for our relationship but rather, I should feel thankful that he made the first move because if not, I would’ve stayed until I went crazy. I did deserve better, there were more days that I was sad than happy but the few days I was truly happy outweighed the days I was sad because I was blinded by love. I love him, he was good to me and is a great man, but we just weren’t meant to be together in this chapter. Maybe in the future when we’re a better version of ourselves. But if not, I at least know my time wasn’t wasted. He will always have a soft spot in my heart, but where we’re at in life. We’re just not meant to be and that’s okay. Thank you for everything ❤️ I will slowly let you go now. I love you Mason
Hello dear I know of a powerful man who can make your ex to come back to you begging you for a second chance He helped me to get back with my ex and we are living happily together so far.;:
i am going through the exact same thing. i just let go my first boyfriend because i think he deserves better and we part ways mutually. i wonder, does it get better? how are you?
Why should this woman have thought she'd have such limited options in dating when she was 41? She's past 50 and looks fantastic and has a great personality. Women think all men are looking for 25 year old super models. They aren't. We put unreasonable expectations on ourselves (and the media doesn't help). That being said, I'm glad she found the relationship she'd been looking for and learned this along the way. Great message!
The man I love says similar what hector says, instead he says soon. Everything is “soon.” We will see each other soon. It’s been almost 2 months. I know I have to let go, but my heart loves him. This was what I needed today.
Staying attached to a person or the outcome is actually causing us pain, not pleasure. Once we realize this it becomes easier to let go. When we don’t think the universe will send us someone BETTER we come from a scarcity mindset. Let them GO, to let someone else IN. I’m Learning to let go of a person the outcome and the need to be right ,that’s when the blessings pour in, it really makes you free! Great video she did well
Yes. Sometimes it hurts not having someone to lean on but he just have to move and try to love again. How are you doing? Can we talk more. Please reply me.
Letting go created the best in me,i so much lived in my past pains ,the rejection I went through in my childhood not knowing my parents .now am happy that i made a decision to let go of past and let God in. May God heal every person going through pain of letting go.
Thank you for this! It's been about 2 months of going back & forth asking myself if I should or shouldn't let someone go. Finally after this video, I decided to let him go. It's a little hard but definitely necessary. One of many things I learned from my previous relationship, was that I had to decide what was more important, loosing him or loosing myself in a relationship that no longer makes me happy & fulfilled. In the end, I choose to loose him instead. I'm currently in the path of getting to know myself & loving every part of me, so that when the right one comes, he will learn to love & value me as I do.
I’m struggling to let go right now and this video came in my recommended. Sometimes the universe just sends you what you need to hear at the right time I guess. Thank you!❤️
Absolutely invaluable to me. Ending a 7 year relationship for the very reasons that you stated. I know my days may be difficult at times. Lonely. I’ve listened to this several times. Your talk will be my medicine to move forward without wasting time.
After 5 years, and a lot of "not yet", I have recently let go of my "hector". It hurts so much! I have watched this video at least 5 times already, it gives me so much hope, and awareness. Every feeling she describes is going through me, right now. Thank you Jill Sherer Murry and TEDx!
satine0016 hi there. I had to go through same pain after 8 years! I’m in relationships since I was 18 until now I’m 26! But I know that this is the time to let it go. I hope I can get hope and awareness like you.
No man should marry in America, the legal, and financial consequences are too serious. A ceremony is nice, a legal contract is a potential prison. Maybe this seems extreme, but go look up the statistics on the number of men who commit suicide after divorce, and you might be convinced otherwise.
@@modernsavage2584 it's bad for women too, no-one gets out of a divorce unscathed ! I dont understand why you need a piece of paper that makes it harder to break up. Surely people should be staying in a relationship because they want to not because they are scared of the legal ramifications
Thank you- This completely resignates with me. I was with my husband for 30 years, 9 we dated, married 21. We had a good life but his addiction got in the way. When I finally was brave enough and knew I deserved better- I left the relationship moved several times until I found "my" place. I have never been happier, more loved and appreciated than I have this past year. Now I help my clients learn to let go and move forward with their lives. ❤
It’s been 3 months since I “let go” of the Hector in my life and I’m just now hearing this wonderful message. It’s a godsend because there are days I wonder if I made a mistake. I lost almost 4 years but I knew after less than 2 months of dating that he didn’t believe in marriage....yet I stayed. At times I tried to convince myself that maybe marriage was overrated or that maybe I really didn’t want marriage either but the longing for commitment was there....I couldn’t deny it much longer. I want a husband for life, not a BF for life. This talk reassured me that “letting go” was the right thing even though I’m hurting so much. I miss my hector so much but i need to make space and give myself the opportunity to meet my husband for life....the thought of the Universe conjuring how we are going to meet excites me🙏🏼😍☺️
I have similar feelings about a recent breakup I experienced. Spiritual teacher Abraham Hicks says we need to keep focusing on what we desire instead of struggle with the belief that this desire can manifest. I want a deeper commitment too, and in the right time it will come. But there's great value in the odyssey of love-learning to love ourselves more and get clearer about what and who we want in our story.
I'm in the same situation now,one they were madly in love and want to marry me then they're like.i keep my options open for my future partner and we are dating then I think marriage is overrated.i hate merry go rounds,it's either we are doing this or not
Thank you for this very vulnerable and personal talk. It's such a shame how society conditions women to believe they are worthless without a man or relationship. To everyone out there particularly women, get to know your own value and don't be afraid to be alone. You will be amazed at the inner light that shines within, if you spend time getting to know yourself and your worth. Peace and love to all
Lol...good luck with that kind of thinking when you hit thirty and beyond....lol don't kid yourself and don't lie to these women. While you don't NEED a man in your life, having one is something you will defiantly want. Nobody wants to die alone. So stop with the propoganda....
@@dubiousdistinction6500 not really my issue. Take for example the words 'spinster', 'old maid', 'crazy cat lady'. All pejorative if not derogatory terms for unmarried women. These words and fear of the single woman are pushed and peddled by society.
@@The900AD spinster and old maid are no longer contemporary..crazy cat lady does not imply anything about current or past marital status..calling someone "worthless" because they dont have a man? thats all on u
I cannot count how many times I played this video 2 years ago when I was having a hard time letting go of a relationship. Thank you Jill Sherer Murray! You were a part of my healing process.
I kept on watching this whenever I feel sad about our breakup 3months ago. This gives me hope that sometimes you really have to let go. Thank you for your talk❤️ you are touching lives. God bless you.
I gotta say.. I’m young but at the same time I view things differently. The true character of someone will always show in a relationship, and the moment it does is the moment you have to step back, don’t sit in denial, because you are watching this video and so am I, you have to step back and ask is this person meant for me
After 18 months of absolute agony and waiting and waiting...I found this....OMFG...took the notes on the 5 points and i will actively apply. Thankyou thankyou thankyou....I started crying as i ran to grab a pen and paper, because something inside me told me your speaking was going to help me, and you did.... Thanks Jill
Same with me Jo Kalati! I really teared up when she said she met her husband only after ONE year of letting Hector go. I let mine go for 14 months and not once did another man come into my life and i was SO hoping and even expecting one to do so.
Thank you Jill, I’ve listened to your speech over and over again to motivate me to leave a 6 years dead end relationship I’d like to call a “Situationship” it’s so hard to think of him with someone else and me with someone else but he WILL never commit to me. Hector would say to you “not yet” my situationship says “we can explore it” but then he never bring it up again. And when I do he’s says “let’s just get through today”. Thank you for your encouragement. It’s time for me to start dating again eharmony here i come. 🌻😃
Jumping right into dating is not the best thing....you need time and space to find yourself again...plus, most of the online sites are full of scammers....Good luck with you...
i watched this after i got broken up with by my first boyfriend 3 years ago, and i’m watching it again now after my boyfriend broke up today. thank you for this, it’s very helpful and inspiring
Oh my goodness! This gave me so much hope. I just left a sixteen year relationship exactly the same as yours. Only at 65. My partner was 100% committed to his first family which works for them but left me on the outside looking in and on hold for all those years with occasional wonderful holidays that kept me believing he was “the one”. Thank you so much, I feel a new hope this morning 🙏🏼❤️
1.Let go of taking things personally 2.Let go of what other people think 3.Let go of trying to be something you are not 4.Let go of the need to be perfect 5.Let go of not yet(Let go for it)
"It's the phone call I can't make, that reminds me to make every day count." I have been struggling with a breakup for the past 7 months. I'm young and barely starting my life, but that does not negate the feelings and thoughts that I have everyday, that I am the Hector in a few people's stories. More specifically, I am the person that helped others realize their own true worth, by demonstrating that they deserve more, and better. I am making the necessary changes in my life and doing everything I can to ensure that I stop, but it's hard. The bottom line is that I need to keep moving forward, I need to let go. This video and her words have all but changed my life. Thank you Tedx, and Mrs. Jill Sherer Murray for supplying the knowledge and wisdom to aid new generations of emotional and social health.
Letting go is the toughest thing one can do. Today, I'm gonna try to let go of 11 years of friendship. And with that, . Today, I'll try to Let go of the fear of being alone. Today, I'll try to Let go of the fear of not getting accepted. Today, I'll try to convince myself that I'm not perfect and accept the fact that I'll never be. Today, I'll try to accept my flaws. Today, I won't let anyone disrespect what I do for a living. Today, I'll try to be the better version of myself. And most importantly, Today, I'll let go of the fear of getting used by someone again and will try to live in the moment. . Thanks, Jill! You kinda saved me!
I remember watching this talk a few months ago when I needed the strenght to let go, and in fact I must say that it inspired me a lot. I finally did leave soon after, and 5 months later I feel so much better as I have been focusing on myself and building my own little projects, and the best part it's to have that motivation back when you have something to look forward (which I had lost some time ago in my relationship). And just as she said, it can be hard as heck to leave when you really love someone, but if you know you want more and better, then it will surely worth it. :)
Amazing. Thank you for the enlightening words. I just recently let go of a relationship which has become unhealthy for the both of us. And now, I am letting go for her to experience real, genuine love that does not falter - one that is whole and unstained.
Sometimes these experiences/lessons teach us to love and respect ourselves like never before. When one has reached this level, the decision to let go and move on becomes a lot easier independent if you still love the person or not.
"sending so much love to everyone who feels like they’re never chosen as the best friend, as the partner, as the favorite. sending love to all of you who have been treated and felt like second best. sending love to all of you who have felt rejected and unwanted. to all of you who have had to try really hard to fit in because you felt like you never will. you are so loved. you will be seen and heard by the right people. you can trust that you are valuable and not defined by other people’s perceptions of you. if someone doesn’t see your worth, it doesn’t mean it isn’t there."
I miss being in a room and clapping with a lot of people who are just as happy as I am about something we just experienced together. I pray the day comes soon when we can feel safe to do that again☺️
One of the best videos here on TH-cam. Thank you sooo much. I needed to hear this this morning. I’m letting go this relationship we’re I was really happy but he terminated it. The last 2 weeks I kept asking myself what I did wrong and what I should improve. And when I realized he was emotionally unavailable, I still wanted him back to “help” him. Now I just have to accept that he is not the one for me. He is not ready and even if the last 6 months were just amazing (especially coming from a very very abusive marriage). I just need to let go and accept that he was just a very nice interlude. I won’t beat myself again. I will enjoy the time I’ve left on this earth. Thank you ♥️
Hello friend, I recommend this great spiritualist who fixed my relationship in 24 hours, now my partner is back and more committed after many years of separation and breakup.
Damn man. I put up with this man for 8 months. Put all my heart into this.. So much. And he said we should split. Damn damn I haven't slept and I cried. Like a baby . I cried.
Well imagine being with a guy for 4 years .putting all yr heart , effort and all but eventually guess what .y are one year older than me so y are too old for me and not marriage material .impressive
This is the most beautiful ted talk I have ever heard. Whenever something deceives me for certain reasons, I come back to Jill. I admire this woman so much.
I come back to this TED talk every once in a while to listen to it as if it's my first time. and even though it doesn't take too long for me to remember what hits me the most, I can never watch this video without crying when Jill says she lost her husband. as another woman with a BIG personality who was always told to "tame it down", I know finding a Hector feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity. But I really hope Jill is still alive and healthy, and has found love again as she keeps on with her life. RIP to all those that felt like a miracle to come by.
It’s really hard to let go when the break up was unexpected, when that person was your person ,when you made plans , when you shared soo much together,it’s hard when that person just tells you he doesn’t love you like he used to but still wants to remain friends yet still acts like you are the last on his list , he doesn’t seem to cate yet still it’s hard to let go because in as much you know you have to he was the only one that understood that loved you ..it’s hard but faith in God and trust in him helps.. time will heal
Wow!!! EXCELLENT! I was in a relationship with a narcissist for 18 months. I went to counseling for a month to get a bit stronger (after his gaslighting) and then broke up with him!! He couldn’t believe it! Best thing I’ve ever done for myself!!!
I dont know if you could read my comment or not Jill, It is lucky for me to listen to all your words. They are true, sincere and helpful. As a teenage girl who always have fears of being left out by friends for my personality, my choices, the way i think and how i feel about the world, I gained more confidence after your speech. . In a group of people, I always bottle up and hide my sensitivity, vulnerability bc I think i will be thought as a weak person. But after getting home, I felt so wrong. We are humans and we are not perfect, we accept who we are . Moreover our lifetime is so precious at any periods so why dont we be ourselves? Im here to be me and enjoy my life... Wish all of you will be safe in this time.
I find letting go the hardest of al. It took me 2 years of intense pain to let go of a recent 6 year bad relationship but when time finally took care of it what a relief! Now I’m there again but luckily after only two months relationship and it’s easier this time. Thank you Jill
Wow this is powerful. I’ve been dating this guy for over a month and he can’t decide between me and someone else. And he was in a relationship for 14 years but he never got married or engaged. He has been in and out of situationships. I’m 40 and I don’t have time to waste. Someone I went on 2 dates is dating intentionally and is ready to date me and me only. I’m at a point of walking away. Thank you for this ❤
I am at this very moment battling with the emptiness and extreme silence of a 9 year breakup and as I am scrolling on TH-cam I see this title and automatically clicked on it. As I carefully listen to her story I had to stop for a few seconds to break down and cry it was like she was playing a recording of my relationship and to think that all I have to do is wait a little and be patient but most important I am letting go from the very guts of my being!!!
Nancy Venegas same here. I resonated with her whole tedtalk! Wishing you the power of healing and letting go, sorry you’re also going through this. I feel bad that this video has so many views only because that is only a fraction of the people hurting from narc abuse. Wish it wasn’t so common
Me too Nancy. I am so sorry. And what Jill touched on reminds me of my relationship. Also when I read comments some say a toxic relationship but ours was not toxic at all. But looking back I think I was too accommodating. I am a very laid-back person but at times with men you have to be firm about what you desire. I am 49 and I regret losing some time. We can't beat ourselves up. I did solicit help of therapy and I am better. It still hurts but time did help this happened in February of this year. Take care of yourself.
I can also relate , it's 2 years after my break up yet I am still stuck and grieving. I think what is making it harder is the fact that we have a child together.
@@nancydonna3895 I'm sorry about your plight my friend but i was once in your shoes before i was recommended to Mrs Catherina Moore and that's how i passed My USMLE Steps exam
I only studied a lot when i went for the first time last year but the second time was so easy, all thanks to my aunt who introduced me to Mrs Catherina Moore am really grateful
My heart is torn apart and i am still collecting my pieces after 5 months. One day i will come back to this video and say that this video changed my life and i let it go and happily lived ever after.
I pray that those who were disrespected, insulted and compared by their partners to their friends and ex's will have a happy ending in their life. Everyone deserves to be happy.
Ameen u toooo
Amen💔❤️
Thanks. I needed to read this😊
Yessssssss
Amen and thanks I needed this
"In the end only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you"
Buddha
Curious Carpenter 🙌🏾
👌👌👌
Curious Carpenter that’s beautiful!
Let me get ahold of this buddha and let him know how complicated it is now.
@@fortresstarot3419 Buda is inside you, so... listen instead how simple it can be solved.
I love the old man in the front taking copious notes. Makes me remember it’s never too late to learn!
Noblesse Oblige that was very ...idk what to say
I mean its nice u noticed the smallest thing
@@imsamanthaswift Because this person is smart.
I assumed he was some kind of judge or TEDx official, since he’s sitting at a table in the front haha
Lmao :)) love this comment
ofc! We are Energy, and Energy is Infinite
‘Let go of not yet” this hit me hard, thank you.
Yes, indecision is a decision.
Oh!!! BOOM
Damn this hit me!
Pretty smart quote , why do I think that of of us had pass through the same story , abrazos virtuales para todos de la comunidad Ted ,
Ya
So true. I learned this the hard way.
If anyone doesn't appreciate you and make you feel irreplaceable in their life, or doesn't show you how valuable you are all the time: LEAVE. Be it a partner, a job, a friend, or sometimes your own family. Just leave, your life will instantly get better.
...and if you are not able to leave asap - boundaries are the key :-)
valuable all the time?? Id see if you find at least one person Who'd able to do this. You could leave and probably be alone for a long time then. This advice sounds like its only the People responsibilities to support your inner state. It works regarding job, lover maybe, but not friends. True friendship is about support, having fun, deep dialogues, but not about showing you how valuable you are for them
I truly agree. Sometimes the ones closest hurt you the most. Let go!!
Hello can we be friend's
@@andrei8299 hello can we be friend's
This talk helped me let go of my ex. I believe that everything that is happening right now is the right thing even if you still can't see it. We should just accept it and believe in the power of the universe because the path that is drawn to us is the right one. You who is heartbroken and reading this comment, have faith, be strong and know that what is for you will come back even if it means crossing mountains. For the mean time, enjoy life, don't take your time for granted and gain experience for the future. You can do this. X.
update : 2 years later, that same ex came back begging me to take him back, he's trying to include me back, as much as he can, to his life. but guess what? the universe is indeed a powerful machinery that repels exes, friends, family etc. not meant for you, faraway from you. And right now I can clearly see why. I met my soulmate and I am ecstatic. Couldn't be more relieved to know that everything truly happens for a reason.
Please stay strong, you're gonna be surprised by what life has to offer you. Trust the process, you are in the right path!
L P thank you. Everyday is a struggle but thank you
Yep! Is very true.
My heart was broken for a long, long time. I clearly remember sitting at my computer and it hit me, "They don't love me for who and how I am."
"They" being my family. The people in my life I love so dearly. But, each one wanted me to change and/or conform according to their will. To bow and bend to their feelings rather than owning my own feelings.
So, I sat there feeling such despair, suffering and despondent and for long after. I can't say it was a waste of time since I needed time to heal. And let go.
Well said
Lp...thank you!i truly believe that and a new found understanding with the help of this video
She is courageous, intelligent and easy-going women. But I wonder why she did not leave her BF earlier. She left him until 12 years later, which is so strange to me. I mean I could not understand why it happened too late. Woman should know by instinct whether the man truly love you within 2 to 5 years. If he does not love you, don' t care about your need of getting married, you should have dumped him and find a better guy within 5 years.
If you dont lose the person that is wrong for you. You will never find the one that's right for you. At 32 yrs old, I was hurting so bad after a relationship had failed. I thought it was the end of the world. 3 years later I married my wife. She is a trustworthy and great woman. Perfect for me. She loves me like I've always wanted to be, and I love her even more.. Married for 26 years now. So glad that the last relationship ended. Because I would have never found my soul mate. Move on. There is someone that was born for you. I promise.
thats beautiful sir. thanks for the last lines. cheers!
I find you hard to believe. Too good to be true.
This gives me hope. I’m heartbroken and feel alone, but I know I can make it past this. One thing that I keep in mind is how much feelings can change over time. Time allows you to see things as they are and not through the lens of illusion. Maybe I can’t see clearly now, but everything happens for a reason and one day I will know why. I’m going to “set my heart ablaze for the flow of time waits for no one”
I am in a same situation at 31, unfortunately that relationship still hurt me.. It’s not my fault.. It’s just she found someone else and realise I was not required anymore. I can’t get out of it and feel like there is no better in this world who can make me feel the same way… I have anxiety and panic attacks and could not let go at the moment.. don’t know what destiny is written for me
Really needed to hear some real story because i am in the same phase and same age experiences all bad relationship in life..i love unconditionally but not gettng any returns
Really powerful talk. My method
1. Detach
2. Distance
3. Don't go back EVER
how to detach????😢😢😢
True
I really needed to see this
@@iloveme3649write down how they made you feel.
We have to be brave to do the things above
I was shocked when she said she is 50! damn it she is gorgeous!
She looks 50
If she is 50, how old is her mom? 😦
I thought she was 40 tops. Gorgeous and funny lady
Can't u be gorgeous at your 50's??
But she looks in her 70s
Let go. Let go of regrets, let go of self doubt, and let go of the past.
I have to let go of my fear.
@flower petals
You can let it go. I wish you strength!
👍👍👍
Let go of taking things personally
Let go of what others think of you
Let go of trying to be something you're not
Let go of the need to be perfect
Let go of not yet
I don't get it. Repeating the steps she said...
I can do that too, not her but "I didn't come this far to sink so low, I'm finally holding on to letting go" slipknot
Right now, I can't explain the pains I am going through. It seems my world is coming to an end.
@kevinnanretjack1825 hold on 🙏
Sending you love
@@kevinnanretjack1825 you are capable to heal through your pain my friend you are powerful and kind more power to you
Watching this after a breakup is so powerful, especially when you know that you're letting go of a relationship that's hurting you and taking your love for granted
I'm going through the same..I have been in a relationship for almost 13 years. It is like I forgot how to live without him.
He is blaming everything on me now and I don't know how to handle it even after supporting him with everything I have.
@@chenlha708 I'm in the same situation. The advice here is to focus on the things you want. Let him vent, be angry, blame - all his stuff, not yours. Your support of him is your stuff/problem so what if you did..... he owes you nothing for you being supportive (that was your stuff). Let it go and focus on what you want now.
i addressed some things that bothered me but i became a problem, whyy? I was just trying to open up my feelings and what i felt
Real
Me right now!
letting go will hurt once but staying in the relationship for long will hurt every moment. thus, it is better to let go.
I think i just need to see this
Thank you
This is so true ❤️
Thank u
You hit me with your words. Thank you for slapping me.
your comment made my night ❤
My husband and I fell in love after three months. We are getting ready to celebrate 20 years of marriage. Sometimes love comes fast. I enjoyed this speech alot.
Daphne Dedrick, i hear stories like yours SO many times and i get so envious and sad bc i desire something like this to happen for me. To be able to connect with someone like that is amazing to me. I am very happy for you. Please send that kind of energy my way. ☺
Daphne, your love story is my goal. I'm very happy for you.
Awesome!
Trisha Taylor practice the law of attraction to find love..
@@kuritzakonig4131 what is the law of attraction?
Jill S. Murray's 5 Ways to Let Go:
1. Don't take things personally
2. Let go of what other people think.
3. Let go of trying to be something you are not.
4. Let go of the need to be perfect.
5. Let go of not yet.
thank a lot 😊
Let go of those who think they're worth more and those who cant reciprocate back.
jewlstah2010 🙏🏻 thank you... I have the attention spa...
Excellent ...inspiring
Let go of not yet .yes!
The power of actually saying "no" when hector said "lets get married" is huge...
I've been here, and he said it with tears in his eyes, but I was so done to take in anything more. 4 years later, I met a masterpiece.
Everyone has to let go of something and when they finally do it is such a relief.
Girl yes!!!! After a year and half of a very emotionally abusive rs I finally let him go cause he cheated, Im actually glad he cheated cause now I can let go of him and never think of looking back as much as it hurt
@@claramorey6187 are you looking for someone?
Lol
I’m watching this video every day until I’m able of letting go. Very inspiring
me 2
Great idea!
Adriana Guillen how are you doing now ?
How did it go?
Adriana Guillen yep, I seriously need to learn this !!!!
1 - Let go of taking things personally.
2 - Let go of what other people think.
3 - Let go of trying to be something you are not.
4 - Let go of the need to be perfect.
5 - Let go of not yet.
easier said than done.
We may think it's hard to do these things, but it's harder if we don't. Many blessings to you!
Then, It means someone else is controlling ur life, take it back. Blessings!
If you want increase the chances of survival you're going to want to care about what other people think.
mindlesstube you have a point but it’s a relief to only care about how you feel about yourself and stop thinking about other people’s opinions until you’re doing better
There comes a time when we have to realize that what we're fighting for isn't fighting back for us. So, it's time to let it go. We must learn to break free from people who continue to trifle with our feelings. Too often we try to invent ways to show them how much we care about them. Even with all our failed efforts, we still continue to try. As hard as it is, there comes a time when we have to stop caring so much about people who don't care about us.
Dear I will introduce you to the same Relationship Restorer from POLAND who restored my broken relationship, he can bring your ex back just fine he's a very good man;;
What'Sapp him 🙏🙏;
Someone’s you’re both fighting but still need to let go to get better individually
thank you thank you!!!!!! "As hard as it is, there comes a time when we have to stop caring so much about people who don't care about us".......a simple phrase that I need TODAY! peace to you
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so true. and that person dont even deserve those -so much of efforts.
When she said Hector not turning up to view the house was the moment she realized she wanted to break up, it gave me nice flashbacks. Not about relationships but life in general.
You know at the moment you realize what you want means you have to give up something, makes changes and feel alone. But then something beautiful comes from it and it’s only when you look back you realise that lonely feeling was the start of something wonderful. Take a leap of faith ❤️
Hello am Dr.Stephene,I'm a specialist in bringing back exs and restoring back broken relationships.I have been on this for the past five years helping those who are having issues with their relationship and I have helped a lot of couples to restored back their broken relationship.Explain your suation to me my dear on WhatsApp:: (+2347044509792)Am willing to help you out 🌹🥰🥰🥰🥰
Well said 🥰
That second para is just too motivating. Read that just after giving up a Job..
I was in a bad marriage for 19 years and finally let go at 41 years old. As soon as I let go, my dreams have started to come true.
I've been struggling a lot for the past five months and then I listened to this: "I will never take time for granted again, instead I will use it to let go, to create space for the things I really wanted and for what matter most".
Karla Villanueva saw your post. Hope you’re doing better, it’s been 5 months since your post- hope you’re thriving and healing ! Take care of yourself
The fact that she took the leap at the age of 41 is super powerful! This talk filled me with energy!!! The 5 things to Let go of are so apt, and i loved the 'Let go of Not Yet' - Just do the things you always wanted to do!
I'm 35 and I've only ever been with my husband but I'm scared I will be alone for the rest of my life and I don't deserve to be happy
Watching this because I’ve let a man bring me down time after time. I stayed time after time. On my birthday a few days ago I found out he was cheating. It’s time to let go and move on... wish me luck on finally finding the strength to make it happen
Most men cheat
Did you let him go ?
Update? 😭
Just Meilina wow I forgot I posted this. Yep. Deleted him completely from my life and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since my birthday a year ago. Since letting him go I’ve been sooo much happier! This hyper focus hit me to wake up and to stop depending on others for happiness. I had to find my own. I even went back to college to work for my degree. Yesterday were finals and I finished all prerequisites and have straight A’s. I did in fact find the strength to move on, as well as motivation to better myself. Hopefully by this time next year I will have that degree, and be able to begin a new chapter in life.
@@LoneStarStinger don't you guys have lockdown over there?
It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.
I'm facing significant relationship problems and can't stand the idea of losing him. My love and longing for my partner are profound, and I'm ready to do anything to restore our connection. I would greatly appreciate any advice or help you could give.
Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.
I'II quickly search for him online. Thank you.
I'm optimistic that taking this approach will yield results for me as well; his absence is keenly felt.
I promise you will not regret it.
I just searched for Father Akunna online indeed he is a very generous man and the most powerful spell caster that I have ever seen he brought my husband back to me with so much love ❤
I have to let go of someone who doesn't even care if I'm in their life anymore. I'm just holding onto memories now. I have to let go so that I can move on and breathe again. I have to do it for me. Thank you for this wonderful TED talk, Jill :)
Never too old, i let go 4 weeks ago when i turned 50 , i was a total people pleaser to friends, a dysfunctional family, bad relationships , no more, put yourself first , no one can make us happy , only we can do that , took 50yrs ❤
Nice
I let go of a bunch of toxic friends and family who have been making me sick for years with their meanness and emotional torture. Its hard. I sometimes feel very alone but I know better things are on the way. I'm sure of it.
I'm in the same situation. Stay strong.
aavaaz utha I’m going through this process, it’s tough but necessary. You can’t meet what’s meant for you when your hanging onto what’s not meant for you. Clarity comes and the right people come into your life 🙏
I understand what you mean...i also feel lonely,right after betrayal of the person who said loves me more than anything..if u feel lonely,u could write me in discord lana#7254. I just wana help someone to not feel lonely.
aavaaz utha , me too and feels good. Congrats!
I'm so good at cutting off people. Let go of Stressors!
I’m watching this because my pet is being put down this Friday. I’m trying to learn to let go and remember that she was so loved for 15 years
This is one of the best ted talks I've ever seen😭
May god give courage to anyone who wants to let go of a relationship that isn't working.
bahhah I relate to that username A LOT. And Ameen sister. May Allah swt strengthen us all, keeping you in my duas whoever you are
I took that leap at 42 and ended a 24 year marriage. The moment when I found out about him and our daughters friend was it, I just knew I couldn’t keep forgiving any longer. It’s been incredibly hard cutting soul ties but I thank Jesus for videos like these . I truly wish this stuff had been around years and years ago. I’d saved myself a lot of tears. Remember love doesn’t hurt. Love is patient and love is kind ❤
That’s powerful, I cheer you up for that !
That's true love is patient and kind❤
@christylee35004 How’re you doing now? Hope you’re doing good:)
"Let go of taking things personally" is THE advice I needed right now. My ex drunk-cheating on me is about her own issues and insecurities and not some defect in me. My conscious is clear knowing I was genuine and faithful towards her. Her not being able to live up to the same level is her problem. I am letting her go.
Yes, same for me. I forgave him once but he got Bumble on his phone the second time. Sexts and meet-ups. Im done.
I am so proud of you!
And you sound like my ex. Lol attacked.
This video has come to me at such a right time, I let go of 6 years Relationship with a guy who said all right things at right time, but never acted on them, due to his family issues...I feel loss, but I feel strong that I broke the pattern. There is huge power in letting go...and claiming yourself, back again...Peace.
Same..hope it's a success story
How are you doing now?
U go brave girl..u r stronger than u know 💪...u r amazing and can do anything
I have experienced the same story, and untill today I thought something like this cannot happen, or happend on with me. But you my friend gave me hope! God bless you! Hope you are doing better! ❤️
same🙃
This came at the exact day and moment i needed it. Now i know that God has not forgotten me. I am finally letting go.
Let go of the mistakes you have made.
Let go of the need to be perfect.
Let go of the need to be liked by others.
Let go of grudges.
This talk is so inspiring. Its been about 2 weeks since the girl who I loved, the girl I would have done anything for told me she wasn't happy with us. How she didn't like that I loved her more than she loved me. I'm heartbroken right now and very sad. As every day passes I realize that she didn't deserve me.
I hope anyone reading that is suffering through a heartbreak realizes you are so much more. You are worthy of good things in life and you will find someone who loves you back. Take it day by day. Stay strong and most importantly don't give up, because I will not.
There’s a woman out there who will love and appreciate you, hang in there
After 17yrs my no good husband walked away..after everything I did to keep the family intact..his drugs we're more important..I grieved for weeks and he did not care one bit..I needed to hear this today.
An addict only cares about the next high. They use the drugs and then they use the people around them. Lost my best friend this way. It took me three years to dump her and the level of toxicity in our relationship only became apparent after I cleansed myself of her. I learned a lot but it still hurts.
You were lucky that he left you. You are worth so much more! 🌹🌹🌹
Hope 💕☀️
Wish you the best !!! Your strong ... never give up on yourself ! ❤️❤️
I caught my drug addicted wife cheating and she left and im trying to get past it. I know its for the best but the pain is real
You'll never see the positive side of letting go unless you've already made it because sometimes we felt the need to be with someone to complete us but don't hold on for a relationship that is not giving you the reason to be happy because we're supposed to be with someone who will make us feel worth it because a life live with too much heartaches are a life that you will regret most in the future.
If the other person doesn’t make you feel worthy, reciprocates your feelings are not giving you what you need: acceptance, confirmation and validation of your feelings you have to let go.
Aha moment! Don’t make yourself wait when others have demonstrated an inability to acknowledge your feelings. You are showing that it’s okay for them to do this. And you are worth so much more. You are worth being shown love, appreciation and acknowledgment
She is courageous, intelligent and easy-going women. But I wonder why she did not leave her BF earlier. She left him until 12 years later, which is so strange to me. I mean I could not understand why it happened too late. Woman should know by instinct whether the man truly love you within 2 to 5 years. If he does not love you, don' t care about your need of getting married, you should have dumped him and find a better guy within 5 years.
Luckily you didn't make the other person think you gave a damn about them right? Whew. That would have you know... Affected them. We all should remember the most important thing in all relationships is what is ultimately in it for número uno. You. You deserve it all. At any time you want it. Bless you.
A life live with too much heartaches are a life that you will regret most in the future.
She’s lucky she has friends some don’t and have to survive a break up on their own.
Yea. That's exactly the situation I'm in now.
@@dalemaherwoodlock3383 Me too😭
Same . Currently going thru it
Same
Same
I broke up with my ex a month ago and yesterday we had a call, just to talk normally but he was cold and didn’t talked a lot even thought I acted normal and I was happy as usual, I noticed it didn’t affected me but I realized the kind and caring boyfriend I had is gone forever and this called made me realize I shouldn’t be sad to lose someone who is scared of loving and prefer destroying what we had because he is not ready. I don’t have to be the only one fighting for us, he never did anything and waited for me to come to him. That is over now.
This was a long time ago, can I get an update on your life?
Hey how are you now?
@@zizi9028 hey there, thanks for asking, I replied already ^^
hey how's your life like now and what happened with your ex?
I've seen a lot of ted talks about break ups, but this is probably the best one and resonated the most with me.
I agree. It is so genuine and honest
“How to fix a broken heart” is another great one!
I am 62, and have been trying to let go of a "Not Yet" man for 33 years. This Tedx Talks was a random find for me, but maybe not so random. Thank you for your words and story! God Bless!
To anyone reading this may you recover , please don’t lose hope there’s billions of people on the planet! You deserve someone who is going to 1000% commit to you don’t ever let someone drag you along with what if’s and maybe later you deserve better it’s time to let go. God can never let in ,until you decide to LET GO!
This is amazing, I really needed this today. I have had such a hard time letting go of toxic ex... the fear of never finding a connection again brought a lot of guilt and sadness into my life. Now after watching this I feel a sense of peace and excitement as I start my new adventure..
Alex Klepper feel the same!!
me too!! How are you doing months later?
@@michellezoura6062 how are you doing a year later?
How are you doing 2 years later?
how are you doing 3 years later?
what I have been struggling with recently is trying to let go of attachment. I'm not even sure if I am doing it right, I want to detach from the people in my life like I don't want to need them to be happy so they won't leave my life because that is what the universe has shown me recently: if I am too attached to someone, they are going to leave you know and I don't know it is making me a bit crazy and it feels so good to get this off my chest but yeah. I think the important thing is for me to spend time with as many people (good people) in my life as possible, while I still have the time. I feel like I am just not allowed to get overly attached like in the "I HAVE to see you and spend time with you every day." yeah. that's attachment, making someone your entire personality. Individuality is the key wow I just realized this gosh universe thank you this is so calming. Individuality is key. Individuality is key. gosh I love this
My ex and I went through a mutual breakup knowing that I deserve better and that “better” wasn’t him. He made the first move to leave and I am still in so much pain from it because I really had high hopes for our relationship but rather, I should feel thankful that he made the first move because if not, I would’ve stayed until I went crazy. I did deserve better, there were more days that I was sad than happy but the few days I was truly happy outweighed the days I was sad because I was blinded by love. I love him, he was good to me and is a great man, but we just weren’t meant to be together in this chapter. Maybe in the future when we’re a better version of ourselves. But if not, I at least know my time wasn’t wasted. He will always have a soft spot in my heart, but where we’re at in life. We’re just not meant to be and that’s okay. Thank you for everything ❤️ I will slowly let you go now. I love you Mason
Hello dear I know of a powerful man who can make your ex to come back to you begging you for a second chance
He helped me to get back with my ex and we are living happily together so far.;:
Wh'atsapp him now;;
i am going through the exact same thing. i just let go my first boyfriend because i think he deserves better and we part ways mutually. i wonder, does it get better? how are you?
Let go of taking things personally
Let go of what other people think
Let go of trying to be something you’re not
Let go of the need to be perfect
Let go of the not yet
Amazing ✴️
Why should this woman have thought she'd have such limited options in dating when she was 41? She's past 50 and looks fantastic and has a great personality. Women think all men are looking for 25 year old super models. They aren't. We put unreasonable expectations on ourselves (and the media doesn't help). That being said, I'm glad she found the relationship she'd been looking for and learned this along the way. Great message!
Lee Lo thank you..
Lee Lo Did you notice she has acting skills too???
Love this TEDX
Lee Lo LETS START OUR OWN
Because women can't really have kids after 40s?
Yes she looks very young! :)
The man I love says similar what hector says, instead he says soon. Everything is “soon.” We will see each other soon. It’s been almost 2 months. I know I have to let go, but my heart loves him. This was what I needed today.
Please read my comment. It will help you
how are you
The man I loved always says ‘later’
Staying attached to a person or the outcome is actually causing us pain, not pleasure. Once we realize this it becomes easier to let go. When we don’t think the universe will send us someone BETTER we come from a scarcity mindset. Let them GO, to let someone else IN. I’m Learning to let go of a person the outcome and the need to be right ,that’s when the blessings pour in, it really makes you free! Great video she did well
Yes. Sometimes it hurts not having someone to lean on but he just have to move and try to love again. How are you doing? Can we talk more. Please reply me.
Letting go created the best in me,i so much lived in my past pains ,the rejection I went through in my childhood not knowing my parents .now am happy that i made a decision to let go of past and let God in. May God heal every person going through pain of letting go.
Thank you for this! It's been about 2 months of going back & forth asking myself if I should or shouldn't let someone go. Finally after this video, I decided to let him go. It's a little hard but definitely necessary. One of many things I learned from my previous relationship, was that I had to decide what was more important, loosing him or loosing myself in a relationship that no longer makes me happy & fulfilled. In the end, I choose to loose him instead. I'm currently in the path of getting to know myself & loving every part of me, so that when the right one comes, he will learn to love & value me as I do.
Hey I hope you are doing better now!
I’m struggling to let go right now and this video came in my recommended. Sometimes the universe just sends you what you need to hear at the right time I guess. Thank you!❤️
These days we call machine learning algorithm 😇 and AI not universe
It is called the power of attraction
This helps me a lot. Thank you. Just said goodbye to my Hector, now waiting for my Dan. 😊
How are you 11 months later? Have you found your Dan yet? :)
@@vangthixanhden 😂😂😂😂😂
💛👍
Absolutely invaluable to me. Ending a 7 year relationship for the very reasons that you stated. I know my days may be difficult at times. Lonely. I’ve listened to this several times. Your talk will be my medicine to move forward without wasting time.
Letting go of things that no longer serve me, the past, toxicity and negativity. Letting go of how negatively I speak to myself as well. Amen! ❤️🙏🏼✨
After 5 years, and a lot of "not yet", I have recently let go of my "hector". It hurts so much! I have watched this video at least 5 times already, it gives me so much hope, and awareness. Every feeling she describes is going through me, right now. Thank you Jill Sherer Murry and TEDx!
satine0016 hi there. I had to go through same pain after 8 years! I’m in relationships since I was 18 until now I’m 26! But I know that this is the time to let it go. I hope I can get hope and awareness like you.
No man should marry in America, the legal, and financial consequences are too serious. A ceremony is nice, a legal contract is a potential prison. Maybe this seems extreme, but go look up the statistics on the number of men who commit suicide after divorce, and you might be convinced otherwise.
@@modernsavage2584 it's bad for women too, no-one gets out of a divorce unscathed ! I dont understand why you need a piece of paper that makes it harder to break up. Surely people should be staying in a relationship because they want to not because they are scared of the legal ramifications
Hello can we be friend's
Thank you- This completely resignates with me. I was with my husband for 30 years, 9 we dated, married 21. We had a good life but his addiction got in the way. When I finally was brave enough and knew I deserved better- I left the relationship moved several times until I found "my" place. I have never been happier, more loved and appreciated than I have this past year. Now I help my clients learn to let go and move forward with their lives. ❤
I think this woman just saved my life. Thank you
It’s been 3 months since I “let go” of the Hector in my life and I’m just now hearing this wonderful message. It’s a godsend because there are days I wonder if I made a mistake. I lost almost 4 years but I knew after less than 2 months of dating that he didn’t believe in marriage....yet I stayed. At times I tried to convince myself that maybe marriage was overrated or that maybe I really didn’t want marriage either but the longing for commitment was there....I couldn’t deny it much longer. I want a husband for life, not a BF for life. This talk reassured me that “letting go” was the right thing even though I’m hurting so much. I miss my hector so much but i need to make space and give myself the opportunity to meet my husband for life....the thought of the Universe conjuring how we are going to meet excites me🙏🏼😍☺️
I have similar feelings about a recent breakup I experienced. Spiritual teacher Abraham Hicks says we need to keep focusing on what we desire instead of struggle with the belief that this desire can manifest. I want a deeper commitment too, and in the right time it will come. But there's great value in the odyssey of love-learning to love ourselves more and get clearer about what and who we want in our story.
I'm in the same situation now,one they were madly in love and want to marry me then they're like.i keep my options open for my future partner and we are dating then I think marriage is overrated.i hate merry go rounds,it's either we are doing this or not
I don't know of any women who doesn't want to get married. he will definitely have a hard time finding someone else
Thank you for this very vulnerable and personal talk.
It's such a shame how society conditions women to believe they are worthless without a man or relationship.
To everyone out there particularly women, get to know your own value and don't be afraid to be alone. You will be amazed at the inner light that shines within, if you spend time getting to know yourself and your worth.
Peace and love to all
Lol...good luck with that kind of thinking when you hit thirty and beyond....lol don't kid yourself and don't lie to these women. While you don't NEED a man in your life, having one is something you will defiantly want. Nobody wants to die alone. So stop with the propoganda....
no society doesnt condition women to believe etc etc..thats your issue
@@dubiousdistinction6500 not really my issue. Take for example the words 'spinster', 'old maid', 'crazy cat lady'. All pejorative if not derogatory terms for unmarried women. These words and fear of the single woman are pushed and peddled by society.
@@The900AD spinster and old maid are no longer contemporary..crazy cat lady does not imply anything about current or past marital status..calling someone "worthless" because they dont have a man? thats all on u
Never place your happiness in someone else. Great advice on not pursuing perfection.
I cannot count how many times I played this video 2 years ago when I was having a hard time letting go of a relationship. Thank you Jill Sherer Murray! You were a part of my healing process.
Nice
Jill takes a spiritual topic and shows how it can work in real life. I think her talk can give a lot of people hope to change their lives.
I kept on watching this whenever I feel sad about our breakup 3months ago. This gives me hope that sometimes you really have to let go. Thank you for your talk❤️ you are touching lives. God bless you.
Stay well and quick healing to you.
Penguin Magic thank you! God bless
Rach _10 How are you doing?????
How are you after does years?
I gotta say.. I’m young but at the same time I view things differently. The true character of someone will always show in a relationship, and the moment it does is the moment you have to step back, don’t sit in denial, because you are watching this video and so am I, you have to step back and ask is this person meant for me
Nice
Beautiful story of courage, acceptance, and saying goodbye to what did not work! Thank you Jill🌺
After 18 months of absolute agony and waiting and waiting...I found this....OMFG...took the notes on the 5 points and i will actively apply. Thankyou thankyou thankyou....I started crying as i ran to grab a pen and paper, because something inside me told me your speaking was going to help me, and you did....
Thanks Jill
Same with me Jo Kalati! I really teared up when she said she met her husband only after ONE year of letting Hector go. I let mine go for 14 months and not once did another man come into my life and i was SO hoping and even expecting one to do so.
Share the five points pls
Thank you Jill, I’ve listened to your speech over and over again to motivate me to leave a 6 years dead end relationship I’d like to call a “Situationship” it’s so hard to think of him with someone else and me with someone else but he WILL never commit to me. Hector would say to you “not yet” my situationship says “we can explore it” but then he never bring it up again. And when I do he’s says “let’s just get through today”. Thank you for your encouragement. It’s time for me to start dating again eharmony here i come. 🌻😃
If he doesn't cheat on you, what exactly is the problem?
“Situationship” yes!!! Dealing with this still 💆🏽♀️
Situationship...lol never heard it put that way
Jumping right into dating is not the best thing....you need time and space to find yourself again...plus, most of the online sites are full of scammers....Good luck with you...
@@modernsavage2584 being unhappy in a relationship is a valid reason to leave. Simply wanting to leave , is a valid reason to leave.
i watched this after i got broken up with by my first boyfriend 3 years ago, and i’m watching it again now after my boyfriend broke up today. thank you for this, it’s very helpful and inspiring
Oh my goodness! This gave me so much hope. I just left a sixteen year relationship exactly the same as yours. Only at 65. My partner was 100% committed to his first family which works for them but left me on the outside looking in and on hold for all those years with occasional wonderful holidays that kept me believing he was “the one”.
Thank you so much, I feel a new hope this morning 🙏🏼❤️
I listen to this over and over again on repeat. This is the first time I'm not sobbing.
1.Let go of taking things personally
2.Let go of what other people think
3.Let go of trying to be something you are not
4.Let go of the need to be perfect
5.Let go of not yet(Let go for it)
"It's the phone call I can't make, that reminds me to make every day count." I have been struggling with a breakup for the past 7 months. I'm young and barely starting my life, but that does not negate the feelings and thoughts that I have everyday, that I am the Hector in a few people's stories. More specifically, I am the person that helped others realize their own true worth, by demonstrating that they deserve more, and better. I am making the necessary changes in my life and doing everything I can to ensure that I stop, but it's hard. The bottom line is that I need to keep moving forward, I need to let go. This video and her words have all but changed my life. Thank you Tedx, and Mrs. Jill Sherer Murray for supplying the knowledge and wisdom to aid new generations of emotional and social health.
Good for you for owing your shortcomings! We all have them. but most are afraid to look the mirror to grow.
Letting go is the toughest thing one can do. Today, I'm gonna try to let go of 11 years of friendship. And with that,
.
Today, I'll try to Let go of the fear of being alone.
Today, I'll try to Let go of the fear of not getting accepted.
Today, I'll try to convince myself that I'm not perfect and accept the fact that I'll never be.
Today, I'll try to accept my flaws.
Today, I won't let anyone disrespect what I do for a living.
Today, I'll try to be the better version of myself.
And most importantly, Today, I'll let go of the fear of getting used by someone again and will try to live in the moment.
.
Thanks, Jill! You kinda saved me!
❤️
After two years, I hope you're in a better place today❤️
@@Keerthika.S-z5d Yup, I am! Thanks for asking!
I remember watching this talk a few months ago when I needed the strenght to let go, and in fact I must say that it inspired me a lot. I finally did leave soon after, and 5 months later I feel so much better as I have been focusing on myself and building my own little projects, and the best part it's to have that motivation back when you have something to look forward (which I had lost some time ago in my relationship). And just as she said, it can be hard as heck to leave when you really love someone, but if you know you want more and better, then it will surely worth it. :)
and when you suddenly remembered him? what you do? 😪
Make a plan and go. Dont wait .
Amazing. Thank you for the enlightening words. I just recently let go of a relationship which has become unhealthy for the both of us. And now, I am letting go for her to experience real, genuine love that does not falter - one that is whole and unstained.
Sometimes these experiences/lessons teach us to love and respect ourselves like never before. When one has reached this level, the decision to let go and move on becomes a lot easier independent if you still love the person or not.
"sending so much love to everyone who feels like they’re never chosen as the best friend, as the partner, as the favorite. sending love to all of you who have been treated and felt like second best. sending love to all of you who have felt rejected and unwanted. to all of you who have had to try really hard to fit in because you felt like you never will.
you are so loved. you will be seen and heard by the right people. you can trust that you are valuable and not defined by other people’s perceptions of you. if someone doesn’t see your worth, it doesn’t mean it isn’t there."
Am grateful to Dr Omar for getting and amending my broken marriage. Am indebted to you Sir.
Thank you ❤
I miss being in a room and clapping with a lot of people who are just as happy as I am about something we just experienced together. I pray the day comes soon when we can feel safe to do that again☺️
Letting go of what could have been has brought me relief & peace
One of the best videos here on TH-cam. Thank you sooo much. I needed to hear this this morning. I’m letting go this relationship we’re I was really happy but he terminated it. The last 2 weeks I kept asking myself what I did wrong and what I should improve. And when I realized he was emotionally unavailable, I still wanted him back to “help” him. Now I just have to accept that he is not the one for me. He is not ready and even if the last 6 months were just amazing (especially coming from a very very abusive marriage). I just need to let go and accept that he was just a very nice interlude. I won’t beat myself again. I will enjoy the time I’ve left on this earth. Thank you ♥️
Hello friend, I recommend this great spiritualist who fixed my relationship in 24 hours, now my partner is back and more committed after many years of separation and breakup.
Damn man. I put up with this man for 8 months. Put all my heart into this.. So much. And he said we should split. Damn damn
I haven't slept and I cried. Like a baby . I cried.
Well imagine being with a guy for 4 years .putting all yr heart , effort and all but eventually guess what .y are one year older than me so y are too old for me and not marriage material .impressive
I completely understand. I feel the pain...some of us love hard Because we gre up on fairy tales
So sorry to hear hope u find someone who is what u want
Been there done that ... but... letting go is greaaat! :)
RAINBOWS AND SUNSHINES I hear you ;(
This is the most beautiful ted talk I have ever heard. Whenever something deceives me for certain reasons, I come back to Jill. I admire this woman so much.
L P I agree 100% this ted talk was moving
Hector not showing up, that was a gift 😊
I come back to this TED talk every once in a while to listen to it as if it's my first time. and even though it doesn't take too long for me to remember what hits me the most, I can never watch this video without crying when Jill says she lost her husband.
as another woman with a BIG personality who was always told to "tame it down", I know finding a Hector feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity. But I really hope Jill is still alive and healthy, and has found love again as she keeps on with her life.
RIP to all those that felt like a miracle to come by.
It’s really hard to let go when the break up was unexpected, when that person was your person ,when you made plans , when you shared soo much together,it’s hard when that person just tells you he doesn’t love you like he used to but still wants to remain friends yet still acts like you are the last on his list , he doesn’t seem to cate yet still it’s hard to let go because in as much you know you have to he was the only one that understood that loved you ..it’s hard but faith in God and trust in him helps.. time will heal
😔😔😔💔💔💔💔
Yes
Wow!!! EXCELLENT! I was in a relationship with a narcissist for 18 months. I went to counseling for a month to get a bit stronger (after his gaslighting) and then broke up with him!! He couldn’t believe it! Best thing I’ve ever done for myself!!!
I dont know if you could read my comment or not Jill, It is lucky for me to listen to all your words. They are true, sincere and helpful. As a teenage girl who always have fears of being left out by friends for my personality, my choices, the way i think and how i feel about the world, I gained more confidence after your speech.
. In a group of people, I always bottle up and hide my sensitivity, vulnerability bc I think i will be thought as a weak person. But after getting home, I felt so wrong. We are humans and we are not perfect, we accept who we are . Moreover our lifetime is so precious at any periods so why dont we be ourselves? Im here to be me and enjoy my life...
Wish all of you will be safe in this time.
As someone who spent 7 years in a relationship that turned out to be a complete lie, this inspired me so much!
I find letting go the hardest of al. It took me 2 years of intense pain to let go of a recent 6 year bad relationship but when time finally took care of it what a relief! Now I’m there again but luckily after only two months relationship and it’s easier this time. Thank you Jill
Wendy Cain Photography , you are so beautiful ❤️❤️❤️❤️ and I will be happy to know you
This is the best Ted talk ever.... hilarious, smart, and thoughtful!
After 10 mths I am still here! It's hard to let go but it's worth it after all.
Thanks for this. I'm 41 and leaving a 20 year relationship. I've had my epiphany and no it's not easy or pretty.
Same here. Am 42 and leaving a 20 year marriage. He cheated. I trust that God will make it easy.
You got this…
Girl 20 years😪
Wow this is powerful. I’ve been dating this guy for over a month and he can’t decide between me and someone else. And he was in a relationship for 14 years but he never got married or engaged. He has been in and out of situationships. I’m 40 and I don’t have time to waste. Someone I went on 2 dates is dating intentionally and is ready to date me and me only. I’m at a point of walking away. Thank you for this ❤
Nice
No joke, this talk just changed my life. Thank you cannot express how thankful I am and how happy this has made me. She's amazing ❤.
I am at this very moment battling with the emptiness and extreme silence of a 9 year breakup and as I am scrolling on TH-cam I see this title and automatically clicked on it. As I carefully listen to her story I had to stop for a few seconds to break down and cry it was like she was playing a recording of my relationship and to think that all I have to do is wait a little and be patient but most important I am letting go from the very guts of my being!!!
Nancy Venegas same here. I resonated with her whole tedtalk! Wishing you the power of healing and letting go, sorry you’re also going through this. I feel bad that this video has so many views only because that is only a fraction of the people hurting from narc abuse. Wish it wasn’t so common
Me too Nancy. I am so sorry. And what Jill touched on reminds me of my relationship. Also when I read comments some say a toxic relationship but ours was not toxic at all. But looking back I think I was too accommodating. I am a very laid-back person but at times with men you have to be firm about what you desire. I am 49 and I regret losing some time. We can't beat ourselves up. I did solicit help of therapy and I am better. It still hurts but time did help this happened in February of this year. Take care of yourself.
Dreams Are A Reality thank you so much!🙏
I can also relate , it's 2 years after my break up yet I am still stuck and grieving. I think what is making it harder is the fact that we have a child together.
Hello Nancy, how are you doing??
They say third times a charm, I have pass my step 1 finally🎉🎉 for all my repeat test takers don't give up and don't be discouraged.
I failed 3 times, i lost money to reviews that never helped but the major thing is that I've not lost hope
You will pass Every one has their own season,just keep going pray and believe you will receive
@@nancydonna3895 I'm sorry about your plight my friend but i was once in your shoes before i was recommended to Mrs Catherina Moore and that's how i passed My USMLE Steps exam
I used some Kaplan, and took some much time in my online classes still my step 1 result came back failed
I only studied a lot when i went for the first time last year but the second time was so easy, all thanks to my aunt who introduced me to Mrs Catherina Moore am really grateful
My heart is torn apart and i am still collecting my pieces after 5 months. One day i will come back to this video and say that this video changed my life and i let it go and happily lived ever after.