How to STOP OBSESSING over someone
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ย. 2024
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And don’t forget ladies …. He’s literally just a guy. YOU and your ideas of him made him special. Imagine your confidence if you put that energy into yourself instead. You would not have the time to even think about the guy anymore. If you are not his dream girl, he is simply just wasting your time
Needed it
Thanks for this comment needed this one as well.
This is why I'm depressed cause I see every girl mentioning a guy but here I am obsessed with a girl while being a girl myself and I just feel so odd & lonely it's like I'm alone in this. Idk why I fell for this girl but it's making me depressed cause most girls are straight I think?
Thanks!
Agree❤
That part about "obsessing over loser who does not even want you" ... had to rewatch several times as it hits.🙈
It really hits 😂
That part hit me hard
Did you know that calling a guy a loser which by the way is just your opinion of what he did to you, is just the same as a guy calling a girl who has cheated on him a cunt? Oh but when guys call girls cunts, that’s like saying Gods name in vain which everyone does! Women aren’t more special than God! What’s good for the goose is good for the gander!
"Learn to be bored with people who ghost you" I love this!!!! Thank you dearest Margarita!
This popped up at the most perfect time... What in the manifestation 😳
TRUEE SAMEE
She got our backs girlies :’)
For me too 🤦🏽♀️
RIGHT???
@@Vivian-oq5wz Right?? I feel personally attacked! 😂
it’s so embarrassing to be dumped by someone everyone told me wasn’t good enough for me 😭
it's me binge watching these kind of videos after he hasnt chatted to me in like 2 days then suddenly forgetting everything i watched after i get a message from him 😫
I have emotional attachment issues. When I crush on someone, it creates obsession and I start analyzing what I can do to gain their validation. I was never aware of it until my late twenties. But I’m glad that I can start to shift my mindset now. Being obsessed with someone is truly exhausting….
I feel you. It's an awful feeling state, exhausting is a best definition
Hi! It's called limerence! It's worth looking up
Yes, I recently went through this
I’m going through it. I had to write everything wrong with him. Argh 😖 it just makes me so angry for becoming attached
@@Hello_Grace not easy but takes work. Deprogram the obsession
"He's not Beyoncé"...love it! 🙂
‘He farts or sneezes affects your emotions’ got me 😂💀 I LOVE YOUR CONTENT ❤
😂😂😂😂 fr tho
Too funny
I love her
I'm breaking down in tears as I type this. This hit home. I don't know why I always try to stay in control of things and outcomes. I worry and stress more than the person who isn't there anymore itself. It's come to the point where I have to heal this because it's getting way too loud and burdensome. I hate feeling like someone else dictates how I feel internally. It makes me feel safe that I am not alone. At first I could ignore it, but I'm realizing how disgusting it feels to keep this pattern going. I do not wanna live like this anymore.
Truth
The timing babyyyy the timingg
GIRL I genuinely have never commented on a TH-cam video in all my 27 years of living but your videos having fucking SAVED me! The way you articulate these points seep right into my soul and make so much sense. The concept of “self love” and “independence” have always sounded nice in theory, but your videos provide step by step actions to make those ideas actually achievable. After watching your videos I feel so confident in myself and motivated to show up for me. Your content is so needed and appreciated, you’ve genuinely changed my life for the better during a difficult period of growth - thank you thank you !!!! PS can’t wait for your book!!
😅 this video really captures my life. I was obsessed with a guy and he would keep leaving me and coming back and I was stuck in horrible cycle of waiting. This time when he came back, I had done enough work on myself to finally have the strength to push him away and feel in control. I've started meeting other men and have strengthened my body, my business and no longer feel the need for the external co-regulation, I used to. Really hope all the women who are going through this become more aware and work towards healthier relationships with themselves first and then take on a partner. Much love to all ❤
I got used and dumped i forgave the unforgivable and still was dumped . Love yourself ladies no man is worth your self respect
THE DIVINE TIMING
The subject of your videos are always so timely!! it’s like you know exactly what we need to hear 😅
I was going to say the exact same thing!
For the love of god I can not tell you how much I needed this video right now like nowww. Never thought I will manifest it so quick.
These games are so repelling to me and it took me a long time healing my fearful disorganised attachment style BUT the last guy fooled me into believing he’s secure, i felt so loved and safe until he ghosted me. It triggered me and now I’m back into this limbo of unhealthy pattern. I broke it off by distancing myself, setting boundaries and going no contact. He’s out. Unfortunately !
That's what happened to mine too. Super consistent. Thought he was secure. Then blindsides me with breakup blocks never looks back... i think he is dismissive avoidant now - surely a secure attachment person wouldn't leave you with no closure?
I ruined it with a secure healthy man who really liked me and then I became an anxious mess and he broke it off (dated 2 months) saying he didn’t develop feelings
It was going so so so well when I was relaxed, confident and being myself, and then I started ‘engulfing him’
I broke my own heart
I hear you, me too. Have you watched her video on black cat golden retriever? You must ❤
@@K1111A yeah I have, and that’s how it was initially, I was 100% the black cat and he the retriever and then anxiety flipped the table
@@sasb3675same for me, exactly
omg did i write this?? i became anxious when he needed more time to himself, which made him feel so guilty for not being able to give me what i needed. when in reality, i need more than i could realistically ever get. he was doing everything he could considering his circumstances and i ruined it. in my defense he said he liked clingy :(
This is literally me right now! Exactly same time frame too. Thank you for sharing. It gives me some comfort. I hope you are in a much better place now!!
I do feel like I’m missing out on the love of my life that will give me what I deserve! And yes.. learn to be bored with ppl!! Most interesting advice that I heard today!!❤
I get these videos are aimed at the ladies but I’m happy to tap into my feminine energy! I love the delivery of the messages in this, to the point, no BS. Thanks for an ace video.
Just listened to this before I go to sleep and you’re like that mum or sister everyone wishes they had. Your advice and knowledge is so genuine and heartfelt I really really appreciate you and having found your channel. That last 5 mins made my heart warm 🩷🩷🩷
Oh God...this is my story. I gave so much and never get back anything from him. This is so devastating 😢
Just live your best life and do the things that make you happy. Pack your day with those things and talk to friends and new people everyday. Whatever you do, don’t give “that” person “airtime” - the obsession comes from a withdrawal loop. Overwrite that loop and fade it away with new memories in your brain. In a couple of months time, you’ll be over them.
I need this freaking video right now
If this video came out on your algorithm, it’s time to listen
My goodness this is the BEST video I’ve seen on detaching. I literally wrote down pros and cons of the relationship and I’m currently on page 2 of the cons 🙄
I love this video! The rat pressing the lever haha such a truthful comparison. 🤣 Thank you so much! You made me feel so much better ! I always concentrated on myself but somewhere on a way I forgot everything and just concentrated on him. While he thrived I was falling deeper into depression giving him all my nurturing energy and boosting his ego. I am done with that ! Ladies never forget about yourself ! Put yourself on pedestal ! He is not worth it if he doesn’t treat you right! ❤
You are incredibly wise. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us.
Yes!!! I feel repelled by the lack of communication ❤❤ so well said
When I was obsessing over a guy, a friend of mine gave me a wake-up call with this: "He is for sure the best choice because who doesn't want an emotionally immature, ugly, and bad lover as a boyfriend" xD It took him from the pedestal immediately
The wisdom never ends!!!
Listen, I was introduced to your channel by a friend and boy did I need this! Been going through a bad breakup, I started watching your videos and then tried to detach, black cat behavior. I have already seen changes. Whenever I find myself start obsessing again over what he's doing, him not being sorry he hurt me, wanting someone new I start watching another video. I'll get there, thank you!!!!
Beautiful, insightful message. It took me decades a a lot of hard experiences to recognize this.
Or even being already in a very healthy relationship but being so anxiously attached and making him my world
you have literally CHANGED my life
Thank you Margarita it took me a good two years to detach and if it wasn’t for your videos I guess I’d still be stuck on him
This video made me cry a lot, thank you
Yo this blew my ever loving mind....wow this is me to a T.
I am just in this.
Can't be a coincidence that I stumbled on this.
Perfect timing
Needed this so bad. I'm going to watch this every morning until it is cemented in my mind. Thank you for this
I additionally recommend looking into the concept of "limerence"
I feel so silly ruminating about this guy I needed this video. It is truly perfect timing for me. I want to move on and feel comfortable in my own skin without anyone’s validation. Thank you so much nice video .❤
He was funny, active, confident, handsome everything…when he knew he had me and my attention, he showed his real colours. I have been abused mentally, emotionally and thnk god it was long distance or i would have been abused physically as well. He humiliated me, cussed me in front of so many ppl. He invaded my privacy and everything i ever respected abt him turned into ashes. Its not abt him going out of my life, its abt loosing me in this relationship
Oh yes, for me we lived together. I lost myself in trying to please him and do more for him thinking it would make him love me more and see me as irreplaceable. He was with someone else two weeks after we broke up. I was so attached, I went back and a week after our second break up it was someone new. He humiliated me, sent me pictures and videos of his new relationship and hit upon everything I've ever confided in him about my insecurities. Even after all of that I couldn't understand why I couldn't let go and felt desperate until I found these videos. It's been three days since I fund this channel but I'm hopeful.
@@deandreasmith9709 oh my god, i went through exact same thing. He threw me out and said i was nothing to him. He literally moved on in 1 day and i fail to understand how can someone move so quickly. It has been almost a month but i still dont feel good in my gut. I want to end this, but i dont know how to mentally and emotionally let go. I really am going to try till i get him out of my system and for good. I wish u all the best. It wasnt your fault bit we need to be careful who we get attached to.
15:30 you have to be authentic in order for someone to be authentic
“You need to learn to get bored by that …” It resonated so strongly❤️ Thank you!
I'm terrified of being hated/disliked, abandoned, ghosted... Thanks to my parents.
i like how u acknowledge how deep it goes when this happenes. happened to me ugh he was a loser
*me tuning into class even though I do not relate to this topic at all because I’ve been watching your content for years*
Timely for me too ❤ and now I’m just struck with all us women in here likely obsessed with men that don’t even deserve the pleasure of our company. God help us.
The timing of this video is impeccable. I have been bingeing your videos lately. I needed this. Thank you !
This video popped up at the most perfect timing ❤🫶🏻🙏🏻 Thank you so much! I’ve learned soo much about myself that in 41 years of my life I had no idea, why I was acting the way I was acting in all of my relationships 🙌🏻 God Bless you Margarita!!
That I just came across this can NOT be by accident. I have no words..
Everything makes sense now. Everything. My God, thank you 💔
Thankyou for this …
Said in no uncertain terms … the harsh reality of …
but it all makes sense .
It might sounds weird, But it was exactly perfect timing for me this advices. Thank you for great videos 💛
The video started well and just got gradually better. I'm so glad that it is about so much more than 'get over a guy.
-Lean on your own emotions
-Don’t rely upon them for outcomes
-Humanize them
-Get bored and repelled by people who are unresponsive
-Remove them from the pedestal- Become obsessed with yourself. How? Make yourself the superstar. Better yourself in every single way possible. Become obsessed with yourself.
10:05
7:07
18:40
Learn to be bored with people who ghost you. Inconsistent becomes addictive. Don’t be addicted to them and their inconsistency. It’s how people make you hooked on them.
This is the one that really got me
I was so much more invested in him that I never left & tried to work through everything.
He left me!!!!!!!
He had a long list of all the reasons he couldn’t stay with me, of all the reasons I failed.
I am nothing without him
Good angle on ruminating, idolizing, pedestal placing after they've left and its causes. I hadn't connected it to the 'cool' style parenting I had growing up where I was doing backflips to get noticed; monitoring the distant parent's moods.. what can I do to make her like me.
Btw I didn't do this to the warm natured parent b/c I was secure with him nor to warm-natured bfs. It was the cool-natured ones that I struggled with. Think I projected and assumed things, dissecting the cues b/c I wasn't getting feedback, good or bad; kinda hanging in that familiar abyss of the unknown. This vid helped me, thank you.
Omg you cured me..thank you
I faced a similar kinda situation yesterday in a gathering and you helped me to realize what the problem was . ❤
I have just discovered your channel and am realising how much my anxious attachment has affected my life. I can't thank you enough for these videos. I am going through hell right now over this guy and your videos are helping me hugely right now. Thank you 🙏
you're particularly funny in this one, love it!
Thanks for this video ,very helpful
I think my anxious attachment style has been a negative because of my loving avoidant people. And those are the ones I obsessed about. My anxious attachment style will be an asset with someone who I actually connect with and who is my ally (vice versa). I do wonder if a "secure" attachment style person will actually seem avoidant to me and I would lose interest quickly.
I’m so glad I discovered you you’re so smart
I was ghosted for the first time ever and though it is confusing, bit hurtful and yes, brings out the anxiety.. i am pleased to report that I can see that it is their inability to see the gem of a person i am. I know what I bring to the table and I didn’t take it personally. 🎉🎉🎉 thank you Margarita..❤
this was perfect and just what I needed to hear. It keeps coming up to notttt put anyone on the pedestal. Im about to listen again lol
Easier said than done. I would need Margaret to be whispering in my ear the whole time.
Ngl, this was a very much-needed video. Didn't think that it would have this grand effect on me. I've been in a semi-good relationship and have now just truly realized that I'm too anxiously attached. It's time to get my shit together.
Gotta watch this on repeat!
girl how is that man not obsessed with you I'M OBSESSED WITH YOU
Hii riddhi here… worked very hard in my doctorate journey still find the other time stuck in relationships… you made lot of sense ❤🎉
This video came on my page just in time, I have a really hard time when I get crushes.. it takes over my entire mind and I hate that feeling
Needed this today. Thank you for always saying what needs to be said!
That was THE PERFECT sponsor. I LOVE Skillshare.
Great advice. I moved on did all these things but it’s been hard he’s visiting my dreams. Keeps popping up in my life, I have to work harder and study.
Amazing video! I wish I had your content when I was younger.
I am so glad that you are putting your teachings out into the world.
love love love. this video was like a cold glass of water to the face, in the best way possible. such a powerful drop of knowledge -- i feel so clearheaded, ty
Girl! You explained extremely well in this video. I have been following you for a while and you always nail your videos but this one is very well done! 👌🏽
This video... idk girl, your delivery and message really tickled the brain stem for me. Thank you.
i watched a past video of yours and i loved it subscribed almost instantly after the video was over. just saw this, and i have a problem with obsessing and losing my mind! i love how calm you talk about things and how point blank period you are about things! sometimes things being told more blunt helps, and i just love these videos!
Margarita thank you
You talked to my soul❤
You always post EXACTLY what I need and what I’m going through, and you give the best advice unfiltered! Thank you for being awesome
WOW! You blow my mind with all this feminine wisdom ❤
Thankyou so much for this. My ex is a slight Narcissist and added me back on Facebook. He said he is with someone else but he loves me. A week later of him having me as a friend but not talking to me on Facebook and I just removed him. I will not let him play games with me. Even if I bump into him in the street I won't speak to him. As I used to big him up and he needs to know he is nothing to me.
Thank you. I needed this this morning ❤
When you just want him to show up like you would for yourself.😢 i'm in my 30s , people popping baby's out.. i just had my rejection for my 4th date. The guy was kind enough to let me know he was getting back with his ex, he was very good verbally. I never met a guy like that so i put him on this pedastal. I didn't even know him that well but just the illusion of him, a well put together guy, picking me... taking me out... i got my hopes up. Trying my best not to take this personally but it hits my core. Another guy picking someone over me. ( sounds almost narcistic, i know) i just need to value myself. This video truly hit my core. But like you said: so easy said : just love yourself,work on this anxious attachment .. how? I feel lost.
As a woman who has been in a sad and lonely marriage for almost 30 years, please know that you are still young enough to meet your person and have a wonderful relationship. And so am I. It’s never too late💕
I kept getting told I was suffocating them..but I never asked where they were going, where the money was spent. What time he got home. Who he was with..if he was going out I did my best to be cool girl and not show any emotion. But this comment kept coming up. I'd ask for examples how I was doing this..but none provided. I will admit i had 0 boundaries then ...he did whatever he wanted whenever yet still i was told i was suffocating him. So was I still being anxiously attached or was I being gaslit. Hes long gone but I have never been able to figure this out and really want to improve myself.
Your videos are saving me one video at a time. ❤❤
The most exhausting thing in a relationship is someone who avoids conflict at all costs.
I'm exhausted, my soul is raped, and I want to die.
I really sat there and took notes on everything you said. so grateful that I found you on TH-cam…
Impressive, she talks like she spent her whole lifetime solely learning humans.
Sometimes its just too hard😭😭😭
You mentioned 2 categories at the beginning of the video - i belong to the third lol
I've been crushing hard over my dance partner in my class (dance class, im 27) ever since the day we were paired together. He was very sweet, polite and kind and had just returned from a game of football. Calm and athletic? I was floored! I think I mistook his basic niceness for something else and I've been building castles in the air! We have a ton of mutual friends so I was waiting for him to either whatsapp me or send me an IG friend request and he never did. Out of desperation, I randomly texted him one day to ask abt something very silly. Whats worse is I did it again! Not only am I afraid I ruined it by fully exposing myself but I'm so disappointed in myself for forgetting abt my femininity completely. I was OBSESSED with him and was 24x7 thinking abt him and ways to make him talk to me. The thing is he's not even a bad guy. He could be taken or maybe he's just not interested and thats TOTALLY fine but I must look like such a despo to him
I hate it! Our dance session ends this weekend and I hope its the last i see of him bc im so embarrassed and im gonna start working on myself and assess why I acted so badly in this situation. Majorly relying on your videos!
You will overcome it. I believe so. I feel for you my dear❤ I am 37, but was literally obsessed and crushed into one man since Jan till Mar... now recovering and I also was texting and messaging him and did also embarrassing stuff. But let's stop it here🎉
Listen to her last video on black cat/golden retriever, it will help you SO much ❤
Badly need this vid right now
This is GOLD, you are GOLD
This is just so on point. I love the way you express information. Rock on, lady!
Thank you Margarita. You always give me so much life back whenever I finish watching your videos ❤ thank you for always slapping me back into reality but in a loving way
I’m obsessed with you
One of the most Valuable videos I’ve watched so far✨ Grateful of you everyday our Gorgeous Lady Margarita🌞
Seeing this at the right time! THANK YOU! ❤❤❤
I’ve just found the big sister I needed ♥️