As a black woman, myself, I would never take care of a man and work three jobs while he gave me nothing. Absolutely not. I come from a family of men who are hard-working, and who believe in being providers. My father is the very BEST example of what a man is supposed to do for his family. That’s why my man is an absolute provider I wouldn’t have it any other way and yes I do work and have fun with my money.
I feel the same way. My dad is married to my mom and a present father. He worked 14hr shifts 6 days a week for over 30 years. We weren't spoiled, but wanted for nothing. My husband works 2 jobs as well. I don't understand lazy men who don't provide.
WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT TO BE THE VICTIM ... like I totally am not discrediting the fact that mental abuse and low self-esteem is real but SHE HAS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS .. like WALK AWAY .. and fast 😫
Absolutely. You have to take control and be accountability too. Your life does not get better by chance; it gets better by change. I hope she realizes her power.
@@CatherineThompson-u3vIt’s easy being a victim because the blame is on others. Everyone cries crocodile tears for you and you don’t have to do anything. There are people who love to go to the hospital for the attention. I see it all the time.
And as a man, all I can think about is Ebony K. Williams saying that both black men and women need to raise their standards. When we don't, this is the result.
Exactly! Especially that scamming ass DJ Envy trying to knock her for speaking truth! Our people have to stop settling for abuse in all forms. We have to raise the standards within ourselves and uphold the standards for those around us
Is single really that scary for some women??? My goodness, having a "my man, my man, my man, my man" is not the purpose of life. Learn to be comfortable alone. This is embarrassing!
Whew! I had flashbacks. She is me before I got divorced. It’s crazy because I got divorced and my life got EASIER. It was easier being a single mother than being a wife. That’s how I knew that I made the right decision
@@Danovioif he wasn't working in her situation they would have starved. Also, a man's job shouldn't just be paying the bills then expecting to do NOTHING around the house. This is not the 1950s anymore. Be an effing adult and help with housework as well as raise, not babysit, your own kids that you begged for. Right now in Michigan A LOT of women are filing for divorce because they are tired of doing everything while their husbands never help out. A divorce lawyer on tiktok had just gone back to work on January 2nd and she said her phone has been blowing up non-stop. The comments under that video speak for themselves.
Men in the 50's also did things at home, literally did the physical work. But i dont get it, how are women expecting to get everything paid for and not do more work at home for it? You are literally doing the easiest job of them all, i bet if more women were ready to pay for a mans life and only be expecting to take care of the home, cooking and cleaning and the kids, you would see more stay at home dads.
@@alkahinat4558 I mean would you prefer be in your home with your kids or out working in the winter? out doing road work in 20 minus celcius? Would you like to work in construction? etc, i can take plenty of examples of work that are much much much harder than takeing care of a home and kids.
This happened to me. This happens when you do not have boundaries, which is something that is not usually taught to Black Women. We watch a lot of our mommas, aunties, and grandma's do this "as holding their man down". We internalize alot of stuff. I pray that this woman has peace and true love.
This happened to me too, not as extreme but I just settled and accepted that I handle the household financially while my ex worked on his “business” 😒 my logic was, I’d have to do it all by myself anyway if single. BUT one day on the way to drop my baby off to daycare (for enrichment, didn’t want her laying around the house all day with him), she asked me “why do all the mommies have to go to work but the daddies don’t?” I was FLOORED. I said, oh there are plenty of daddies who work (she didn’t see it though!! ) that broke my heart, the disappointment and almost contempt in her little voice💔 ugh. Anyway that changed my entire perspective and I got out of that situation, no struggle love since!!! Sometimes we have to suffer thru to know what we’re willing to accept…
This happened to me for about 12 months. As soon as my daughter hit 1 I was out the door, I realized if I’m doing all of this I could do this by myself and be at peace in my home. Because seeing him watch me struggle and not offer any help use to boil my blood I knew it was wrong but didn’t have the words to express myself just anger.
Girl she lost me when she said she was struggling to find a baby sitter. What is your man doing ? He must not be the baby father, because that would be the only way it made sense.
@@cecechannel22.) if she doesn’t trust him with her child(ren) then why is he even there? Why she dating a man she can’t trust in the first place? He serves no purpose and for all that she might as well be single and do it on her own. I’m sleeping with a man giving him my body but I still feel like a single mom. Why?
@@cecechannel2 they are his kids. That’s the way I took it because he said you don’t get a chance to spend more time with the kids. I think you need to be with him more because he pressed her about quitting that third job. I don’t know whether she did or not, but he was pressing her to quit because he saying she’s unable to see the kids like that and to me. This sounds like a somebody that had those children with her I could be wrong, but it was just key words she said they made me believe that he is the father of the kids.
@@valerieriggins3184, Exactly. She dances around the question of whether they actually live in the same household. I think she’s a big time gaslighter. Has everybody fooled.
Why is she still with him. Why do we want to struggle with a man… make it make sense!!! Go get that battery operated boyfriend and be done with him. We as women need to stop SETTLING.
Y'all gotta understand that her mother's generation did that very thing. Supported a man to keep a man. I used to see a lot of women dog out single women that their men were cheating with. They accepted getting walked all over just to say they have somebody. She needs to break free now.
Exactly! People need to stop acting like black women were not literally raised to behave this way. Black women are encouraged to; hold a man down, be a ride or die, etc. We are just now waking up and educating ourselves, learning from the ones who knew from day one, etc. You can't expect someone to know something they were never taught.
I think many BW are in this situation because we are trained to "hold a brotha down" or settle for struggle love just to have a man. She needs to walk away. What's the point in having him around if he does nothing for her or the kids?
Watching her go off on the one comment that told her to stop complaining if she’s not gonna leave him sent me 🤣🤣🤣. Her was over explaining why she loves him but ma’am…7 years and you have no ring 💍 but you’re cooking, cleaning, having sex with him when he wants and it’s probably not good all while working 3 jobs and still broke but he works 40 hours a week and keeps his coins 😮💨😒🥴. That means you’re paying all the bills and if you’re gonna do all that, be single. The jokes write themselves and no wonder she took down her page after she brought us into her relationship. I happily work 2 PRN jobs as a nurse and collect military benefits because I like having money for things I want after paying all my bills like traveling internationally. There’s no way I would tolerate a man in my home where I pay all the bills and I gotta fight with you over $20. I did that when I was in my early 20s and I’m not doing it again. It’s 2024, do better ladies.
I'm someone who usually has a lot of empathy for people, but i'm struggling with this one. To work not one or two but THREE jobs and your man gives nothing makes absolutely no sense to anyone. No man who loves or cares about you would allow this situation to even happen. Why would you even consider settling down or marrying a man like this? It's either a lack of confidence/ self esteem or just a fear of being single/alone.
@ViciousDelicious-td8jl Yes, of course to those like us with sense. But i'm sure you have seen plenty of videos and examples of women staying with absolutely useless men, just because they want a man in their life. Some even put the useless man above their children kmt
As a 45 year old bw... I can tell from experience he is not going to change. Please ma'am love your self and leave him. Your the resource ...you should not have to ask him to provide. Leave sweetie
It sounds to me no one has taught her about having self worth. She is truly dumbfounded by his actions. She has spent months growing a human being in her belly and can’t even get a cent from the father. Very cruel. We literally need to teach our children.
This! Black women are taught; hold him down, be a ride or die, etc. most are not taught that a man should provide and contribute. And most black women didn't have that example growing up either on top of being taught everything wrong. Yet somehow black women are expected to just know the correct way even though they've been taught the wrong way their whole lives. Shame
Sometimes people pleasing even applies to your relationship. When you grown up you learn you don’t have to be someone’s doormat. Especially for family and partners.
In my opinion, homegirl is asking the WRONG questions. The question should be what is the safest way to transition the hell out of that relationship. ... OR, "What is going on with me that's allowing me to allow and accept this situation?" Something along those lines. She's young, and I hope she uses whatever feedback I know she's most definitely getting to move on and upgrade.
He doesn’t love her . Men provide for women they love sorry but is the truth . She is probably paying all the bills is a sad situation but after 7 years and no ring he is probably never going to marry her and is just using her to build himself . I’ll rather stay single .
This! She could literally give herself peace by leaving him. Saying you got a man isnt worth it if you're out her suffering like this. AND had the nerve to talk about MARRIAGE. ummmmm MA'AM? Please be kinder to yourself. You deserve the world 😢
That is not her man…and she needs to be careful leaving him because men like this is abusive and can become dangerous. I know a beautiful girl who was killed from her bd all because he was abusive, did not do shxt, and she was ready to leave
@@AllThingsNella I don’t know how he has the heart to sit there and watch her do all that, while he doesn’t even contribute BUM is putting it lightly Selfish, useless men make me 🤢
I’m sitting here feeling slightly sick reading all this…the levels of heartlessness are shocking. This is what she calls a man? I’ve seen dogs take better care of their families.
Exactly why did she keep producing children with him -- knowing they both couldn't afford them and that he didn't want to pay for them. 3 kids with a lazy hobosexual is the definition of insanity!
The best thing that we as women can do is to be honest with ourselves. It's okay if a man shows you he is not interested. However, it is not okay, when you stay trying to convince him to change his mind. She asked for advice, but she doesn't really want it, because he has already given her everything she needs to walk out the door. She just doesn't want to. Hopefully she will get it together soon.
I agree with your statement, except the fact of her trying to convince him when I really think she’s trying to convince herself that he actually likes and loves her!
Ti, this advice that all young women need to hear. I’m still in my 20’s waiting to meet the man that I can build a future with. I’m not being no baby momma and I’m not in competition with no other woman. I’m in my own lane working on myself and waiting for the man that God wants me to be with.
This was a phenomenal speech. You hit the nail on the head with this one. If young people aren't careful, they will end up bitter. I also love that you showed this young woman grace. Most of us have had bad relationships. You live, you learn, you move on. No shame in it.
This is a struggle love relationship. Broke men will make your life miserable. Always have your own money and don’t let a man live in your house when he’s not your husband. The way he’s acting, he can’t afford a wife and he shouldn’t be dating period. She needs to dump him! Excellent commentary Lovely Ti!❤
Social media has become a place people use to trama dump their personal problems, but only want to hear what they want to hear. Keep us out the personal chats
I know one she let some bum dude come live with her & he got her knock up & the female acting all bitter/toxic because she’s pregnant by a BUM & remind you this person is in their late 20’s already got kids🙄
I know one who is the same size as her and let’s a man she’s deeply in love with abuse her for over 10 years. He leaves her and comes back when he’s bored or in jail smh!
@chelleshell2638 I stay clear of women like this. They are OK accepting nothing from their dusty men but as a friend, they will expect the most from you. Nope. Can't do it.
@@__gemoftheeast That sure is true!! I’m happy I part ways with that female. She ain’t about to drain me with her struggle life but don’t change anything.
Just off of this clip, I definitely agree that she needs to leave him. I don't see how he's enriching her life. If she's gonna be in the same place or better without him, then why is he there? I hope she figures out her worth and realizes that she deserves better. 💜
Exactly, he's dead weight! All he's doing is eating up her groceries, running up her bills and causing her more stress and FOR WHAT, for some dusty peen?!? 🙄🥴
She’s not forced unless he’s threatening her… she could’ve left, I am sure she knows that this man is no good and saw the red flags long time ago. People need to recognize the role they play in their own misery.
She is not forced and he isn’t threatening her because if he was, she would’ve said she was afraid to put him on blast. We have to stop this self inflicted victimization
As you mentioned, your partner should not be told what to add to the table you both eat at. Having a phase where they’re working towards better things and can’t help out/provide for the shared household, is not supposed to be permanent.
@@kaycampbell364 girl, trust me. Losing money and being annoyed is the least of the things that can happen. Low self esteem will cause diseases, trauma, and even get you killed. Learn to love yourself before it's too late. That thing that you're searching for is not going to be found in someone else. Don't abandon yourself.
You can absolutely blame that loser. If you see a purse sitting on a bench that doesn't mean you can take it. Just because can, doesn't mean you should.
Nope, no graces given. I'm 25 and have never allowed a BOY to impregnate me and be paying for him too. Being young is not an excuse for poor choices, pick your co-parent well and don't complain when someone treats you like crap; get up and go. I had an ex that would rather buy me designer than help me pay bills knowing that My health has been degrading and I haven't been able to work, I left him 🤣 I may be broke but I'm not a fool. Make smart choices
And for this young lady… why would you even consider marrying this guy. You can do much better BY YOURSELF! He is using her for a place to stay! It’s not worth it at all! He is NOT an option for you and your kids. Leave ASAP. I wish I could big sister her. Good luck with your next move…. Hopefully you next move is OUT!
I agree with you. This type of scenario has been going on within the Black community for decades at this point. I'm a BW who grew up middle class with both a Mom & Dad who were physically, emotionally, and financially present...yet I was never naive to not notice stuff like this woman's situation that is constantly going on in other spaces. I'm not hard headed...I learned what not to do by simply looking at the actions and experiences of BW and Dusties.
She said that the women have to be already together but young men find the women to build with 🤔. That's good advice? No it isn't. Women should not be building men up. These men need to be already together as well and have a large savings account. Also, they need to be educated to have multiple streams of income.
I feel this is a dangerous relationship to stay in. God forbid she lost her job or portion of her income. He may be the type to try and control what she eats or stop her from eating altogether. She can find a man willing to be a PARTNER!
I mean she’s obviously fine with it being that she’s doing it . Nobody’s forcing her to work herself like this with a bum around smh thank god I have a provider who takes care of his family
Why is she online asking this question when she knows that he is no good? I am sure she saw red flags but choose to stay just to have a man! She needs some self esteem and leave this useless man alone… At this point she’s playing part in her own misery.
Ti, you are a true gem. Your content is a balanced mix of world events, celebrity gossip, conspiracies, and valuable advice. I hope this video and your words of wisdom reach those who need to hear it. This topic hits me closer than I would like it. I've sent this video to someone, and hopefully, they can make the right decision.
This woman is an enabler and has allowed this to happen. I don’t feel sorry for her, she should have got rid of him the minute he didn’t help her with the bills and rent.
I feel bad for her. This is why I prefer to just live on my own versus living with someone when I’m not married. It just doesn’t benefit or work in our favor when we live with a guy. Also I wouldn’t have a child with someone if they’re not financially stable and I’m not married.
My Dad says 1+1 is 2. We all passed basic Math. If a person is not an asset, they are a liability. She must not know her worth and have low esteem. He needs to go neeooooow!
Gurl. I feel for you. Lots of women have gone through this. You have to leave him. He's not a partner let alone provider. The longer you take the more time you waste. He will resent you in the end. Trust me you won't get the gratitude you deserve.
I just feel like a lot of women come to the internet with issues that they know they need to get out of. It’s not that hard to listen back to your own video and figure that you need to leave
I hope she learn from this. She is young woman and everyone make mistakes. She doesn't need to suffer while having a bad partner. She can do that all herself 😊
She has the power to change that ladies never date backwards this ain't it just remain single until you get yourself together we got names for guys like him it's called *BUM*
The whole look is a vibe.. It's given TLC vibes. The hair, top, make up 😍 You handled this with care, she definitely deserves grace. You spoke the real..
I’m sure he was like this before they even started to have children. Many of us are conditioned to think that struggle love and toxic relationships are the norm
Prevention ladies! Stop getting in these relationships by doing proper vetting, because by the time you realize it's not working for you, you will want to leave and it's at that time you will be more prone to getting deleted by that man. Clearly this young woman knows it's not ok the way he's treating her, since she had to come on social media to seek advice. And she mentioned marriage but there is no mention of her leaving him. She needs to plan her escape CAREFULLY, and get out a dodge. He's not going to change, he doesn't love her, and he likes the fact that he can live with her and sponge off her. You are right on Lovelyti, "people treat you how you allow them to treat you." Don't just complain and do nothing about it. Get out of the situation, and get out before it's too late.
I feel like she's leaving a lot out of the story. Even without her man, she's basically living check to check. She needs to recalibrate her spending and/or lifestyle.
Shes clearly trying to. She said at the end her man doesnt even want to go through a simple budget. The issue here is more of their communication. Without that, the money will never look right doesnt matter what she does if she stays with him.
She lacks accountability... if yall both living check to check the last thing u need to be doing is begging for money. If anything they need to be working on improving their financial situation
Anyone in a relationship that doesn't want to discuss their finances with you has something to hide. You're either a team or you're not and if you can't work together then your progress will be like walking in sludge. Seek wise counsel.
Why is she allowing this? To show everyone she has a man? No Ma’am!! People treat you the way you allow them to. Our proud, Black Queens do not need to be in such a predicament. 😐
Ti I’ve always loved your thought process and input and this was just as great. I usually watch your videos on my tv but I had to login and comment how much I needed that advice you gave out. Even tho it was to that young lady it reached me as well. Love you ti and keep being great ❤
I saw this video and she said she is NOT leaving.. She wants to know how to change 💩into gold and none of us have that recipe. What’s sadder still is that she has continued to accept this behavior and therefore she has taught him she will stay no matter what. Once you’ve taught someone that is the treatment you’ll accept and you don’t want to leave..you may as well just remain quiet and accept what ever comes. This is the definition of laying in the bed you made../
That lady is a liar!!!! She made that video and then keeps making more videos about this situation. Complaining and going off on people for telling her leave… she was found liking comments insinuating that there is no man and that she’s getting clout😂🤡
What’s the point of a grown able body man if he can’t help or provide… I wouldn’t even feel comfortable claiming him if I pay the bills etc this is sad and certainly more common than it seems
This young woman needs to leave that relationship. Kick him out of the house. He’s not looking for a relationship, he’s looking for a bangmaid while poor girl is overworking to keep her household.
Ti spoke the truth. Also, be weary of fakes and liars. Don't let their words fool you -- hold them to their words and make certain their actions prove their words to be true.
That’s on her, she must got low self esteem .Secondly that’s not her man,he doesn’t even provide for his family and watches her struggle.He’s probably cheating on her and spending the money on somebody else. I hope somebody gives her good advice and she gets the strength to get that bum out her house.
a man willing to watch you work 3 jobs while he chills. he doesn’t love her
And there's a high chance that he's probably cheating
…Has nothing to do with her, he does not love himself.
@@mbrn3441both can be true.
He doesn’t love himself and he don’t love her either.
@ladynikkie right! He would use the excuse that she was never around, didn't have time for him since she is always at work.
@@mbrn3441 interesting logic
As a black woman, myself, I would never take care of a man and work three jobs while he gave me nothing. Absolutely not. I come from a family of men who are hard-working, and who believe in being providers. My father is the very BEST example of what a man is supposed to do for his family. That’s why my man is an absolute provider I wouldn’t have it any other way and yes I do work and have fun with my money.
As it should be 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I feel the same way. My dad is married to my mom and a present father. He worked 14hr shifts 6 days a week for over 30 years. We weren't spoiled, but wanted for nothing. My husband works 2 jobs as well. I don't understand lazy men who don't provide.
You know good and well this is fake. I know there are plenty of masculine women out there but not this bad.
I def feel the same way
It’s cause they aren’t men smh.*@@nuggetsnicole4851
I will never understand a man who doesn't take pride in caring for his family. Pathetic
Or women who stay with them .....why?
Because, Alot of black men been coddled....
Welcome to Black America..
@@poplife123 I agree.
@jewelljoyner3723 coddle by who?
Black women black mothers.
Yall raise these boys as if thier your boyfirneds or husband's and yall pamper them.
She's only struggling because she's allowing that situation to continue to happen. You can't complain about things that your allowing to let happen.
WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT TO BE THE VICTIM ... like I totally am not discrediting the fact that mental abuse and low self-esteem is real but SHE HAS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS .. like WALK AWAY .. and fast 😫
Absolutely. You have to take control and be accountability too. Your life does not get better by chance; it gets better by change. I hope she realizes her power.
Facts!!!!
@@CatherineThompson-u3vIt’s easy being a victim because the blame is on others. Everyone cries crocodile tears for you and you don’t have to do anything. There are people who love to go to the hospital for the attention. I see it all the time.
Facts💯💯💯💯
And as a man, all I can think about is Ebony K. Williams saying that both black men and women need to raise their standards. When we don't, this is the result.
I still can't believe people came for Ebony 🤦🏾♀️
Exactly! Especially that scamming ass DJ Envy trying to knock her for speaking truth! Our people have to stop settling for abuse in all forms. We have to raise the standards within ourselves and uphold the standards for those around us
Truth
💯👀💅🏾
@@Bexinnamonthe judge? what happened with her
Once he gets on his feet, he will get the girl he really wants and leave her. She is a place holder.
She's been a placeholder all this time. He's probably cheated on her couple times. Next chick he gets with, he'll probably marry her within 2 years.
@@cyniczen233cainesyup and proclaim how everything he went through ( all his exs hard work and sacrifices) was all for her.
With 3 children 😢
Even in a marriage too!
My exact thoughts. She is a placeholder.
I REFUSE to take care of a grown rusty MAN!!! NO WAY!!!!!🙄🙄
Right? It sounds like she just has another kid.
@@ll2323😂😂
the guy in this situation felt the same way 😂
Not rusty 😂😂😂😂
Exactly
I cannot! Working 3 jobs with a male living with you. It’s a no I can do bad all by myself!
Agreed!
Unless he is dealing with chronic health issues.
@@aoc092🙄
@@aoc092- then he should be collecting disability.
Did she ever say he was living with her currently though?
Is single really that scary for some women??? My goodness, having a "my man, my man, my man, my man" is not the purpose of life. Learn to be comfortable alone. This is embarrassing!
Girl!!!!!!
Exactly I can’t wrap it around my head. 😳
true
Yes. What was she doing to get by before they were dating.
Facts
Whew! I had flashbacks. She is me before I got divorced. It’s crazy because I got divorced and my life got EASIER. It was easier being a single mother than being a wife. That’s how I knew that I made the right decision
Would you have divorced him if you were a stay at home wife and he worked and paid for everything?
@@Danovioif he wasn't working in her situation they would have starved. Also, a man's job shouldn't just be paying the bills then expecting to do NOTHING around the house. This is not the 1950s anymore. Be an effing adult and help with housework as well as raise, not babysit, your own kids that you begged for. Right now in Michigan A LOT of women are filing for divorce because they are tired of doing everything while their husbands never help out. A divorce lawyer on tiktok had just gone back to work on January 2nd and she said her phone has been blowing up non-stop. The comments under that video speak for themselves.
Men in the 50's also did things at home, literally did the physical work.
But i dont get it, how are women expecting to get everything paid for and not do more work at home for it? You are literally doing the easiest job of them all, i bet if more women were ready to pay for a mans life and only be expecting to take care of the home, cooking and cleaning and the kids, you would see more stay at home dads.
@@Danoviothe easiest job?! Are you feeling ok??
@@alkahinat4558 I mean would you prefer be in your home with your kids or out working in the winter? out doing road work in 20 minus celcius?
Would you like to work in construction? etc, i can take plenty of examples of work that are much much much harder than takeing care of a home and kids.
This happened to me. This happens when you do not have boundaries, which is something that is not usually taught to Black Women. We watch a lot of our mommas, aunties, and grandma's do this "as holding their man down". We internalize alot of stuff. I pray that this woman has peace and true love.
This happened to me too, not as extreme but I just settled and accepted that I handle the household financially while my ex worked on his “business” 😒 my logic was, I’d have to do it all by myself anyway if single.
BUT one day on the way to drop my baby off to daycare (for enrichment, didn’t want her laying around the house all day with him), she asked me “why do all the mommies have to go to work but the daddies don’t?” I was FLOORED. I said, oh there are plenty of daddies who work (she didn’t see it though!! ) that broke my heart, the disappointment and almost contempt in her little voice💔 ugh.
Anyway that changed my entire perspective and I got out of that situation, no struggle love since!!! Sometimes we have to suffer thru to know what we’re willing to accept…
It happened to me also. We have to unlearn this behavior, the wise way or the hard way 🙏🏾.
This happened to me for about 12 months. As soon as my daughter hit 1 I was out the door, I realized if I’m doing all of this I could do this by myself and be at peace in my home. Because seeing him watch me struggle and not offer any help use to boil my blood I knew it was wrong but didn’t have the words to express myself just anger.
THANK YOU!!! I was thinking the same thing as I’ve been there before too!!!
The 2nd I found out I was being used I left or I made sure they did
I hope she gets out safely. There is an epidemic of males without nothing to lose, deleting women/children/family members !
This is true, these males are dangerous!
That part! Black femicide rates are very high.
That is a fact!
He Ain't Going To Appreciate His BANK Account Leaving......Y'all May Be Reading MORE On THIS!💯
I don't get how you can claim to love someone but you are okay with watching them struggle.
The guy's a bum. I wonder if he ever even said I love you.
He don’t love her. She is in relationship with herself
He is manipulating her for a place to stay
@@Lala89856 and someone to have unprotected sex with😆
He's a hobosexual 😂
Girl she lost me when she said she was struggling to find a baby sitter. What is your man doing ? He must not be the baby father, because that would be the only way it made sense.
Maybe she doesn't trust a man with her kids baby father or not.
@cecechannel2 clearly she trusts him to lay up in the home she provides for her children.
@@cecechannel22.) if she doesn’t trust him with her child(ren) then why is he even there? Why she dating a man she can’t trust in the first place? He serves no purpose and for all that she might as well be single and do it on her own.
I’m sleeping with a man giving him my body but I still feel like a single mom. Why?
@@cecechannel2 they are his kids. That’s the way I took it because he said you don’t get a chance to spend more time with the kids. I think you need to be with him more because he pressed her about quitting that third job. I don’t know whether she did or not, but he was pressing her to quit because he saying she’s unable to see the kids like that and to me. This sounds like a somebody that had those children with her I could be wrong, but it was just key words she said they made me believe that he is the father of the kids.
@@cecechannel2but it's ok for her to sleep with him, bring him around the kids dummy
You can’t complain about someone sucking the life out of you when you give them the straw to do it.
Oooooooh
Amen!
My mama always told me “Never let a man live off of you”
Shoot my daddy told me same thing lol
My mamas experience showed me that! That and watching Maury.
Is he living off her though?
IS He Living With HER Should Be The Question......
@@valerieriggins3184, Exactly. She dances around the question of whether they actually live in the same household. I think she’s a big time gaslighter. Has everybody fooled.
How can you even be attracted to a man that can’t give you $10?? Sis, that money going somewhere and you need to go
She’s working 3 jobs and I bet he has cheated on her multiple times in her own home! She needs to move away
& He’ll be the one to leave her struggling with all those kids while he gets to walk away & find another sucker
Why is she still with him. Why do we want to struggle with a man… make it make sense!!! Go get that battery operated boyfriend and be done with him. We as women need to stop SETTLING.
She's is struggling alone because she chooses to carry him.
"we" 🤔💀
Majority of blk women are like this I don’t want to be attach to these black women
Y'all gotta understand that her mother's generation did that very thing. Supported a man to keep a man. I used to see a lot of women dog out single women that their men were cheating with. They accepted getting walked all over just to say they have somebody. She needs to break free now.
Her mother's generation may have stayed with men that were cheating, but those women weren't working 3 jobs because he was paying the bills
Yes. This is what can happen when a girl's primary example are women that don't know any better for themselves. It's such a sad cycle. 😔
Having a boyfriend or husband isn't a flex. Especially when they drop out of school and then refuse to work. Embarrassing.
My mother was the exact same way. You hit the nail on the head.
Exactly! People need to stop acting like black women were not literally raised to behave this way. Black women are encouraged to; hold a man down, be a ride or die, etc. We are just now waking up and educating ourselves, learning from the ones who knew from day one, etc. You can't expect someone to know something they were never taught.
I think many BW are in this situation because we are trained to "hold a brotha down" or settle for struggle love just to have a man. She needs to walk away. What's the point in having him around if he does nothing for her or the kids?
Watching her go off on the one comment that told her to stop complaining if she’s not gonna leave him sent me 🤣🤣🤣. Her was over explaining why she loves him but ma’am…7 years and you have no ring 💍 but you’re cooking, cleaning, having sex with him when he wants and it’s probably not good all while working 3 jobs and still broke but he works 40 hours a week and keeps his coins 😮💨😒🥴.
That means you’re paying all the bills and if you’re gonna do all that, be single. The jokes write themselves and no wonder she took down her page after she brought us into her relationship. I happily work 2 PRN jobs as a nurse and collect military benefits because I like having money for things I want after paying all my bills like traveling internationally. There’s no way I would tolerate a man in my home where I pay all the bills and I gotta fight with you over $20. I did that when I was in my early 20s and I’m not doing it again. It’s 2024, do better ladies.
I mean was the commenter wrong what's the point of complaining if you not going to leave him 🤣🤣🤣
Oh wow. I was hoping it was only a few months ( because any1 staying with that for 1 year plus deservers what ever she gets. 7 years means she's happy
@@retronerds6884 : that part lmao 🤣!!!!
@@jodyjojo1381 : she’s never leaving that man which is why I’m annoyed she brought this to the internet.
@@aaralynphoenix292 yeah this is no different from that baby mother video that went viral both thought they would get support from the Internet 🤣😭
I'm someone who usually has a lot of empathy for people, but i'm struggling with this one.
To work not one or two but THREE jobs and your man gives nothing makes absolutely no sense to anyone.
No man who loves or cares about you would allow this situation to even happen.
Why would you even consider settling down or marrying a man like this?
It's either a lack of confidence/ self esteem or just a fear of being single/alone.
Exactly my thoughts like its hard for me to feel bad for her because that's too much! Eventually she'll have enough and move on ... Hopefully ...
@@You_TroII 🤞🏾🤞🏾
Being alone sounds more glamorous than having a parasitic dusty attached to your purse.
@ViciousDelicious-td8jl Yes, of course to those like us with sense. But i'm sure you have seen plenty of videos and examples of women staying with absolutely useless men, just because they want a man in their life. Some even put the useless man above their children kmt
🎯 She would be better off alone in this case and try to find a better man… hope she wakes up, she’s still young 🙏🏼
Chile pls 🙄 these women act as if it’s a problem with being alone just to go broke to have a boy 😑
Fr it's pathetic 🤦🏽♀️
At this 👍☺️👌
On God !!
As a 45 year old bw... I can tell from experience he is not going to change. Please ma'am love your self and leave him. Your the resource ...you should not have to ask him to provide. Leave sweetie
Yeah If She Can......He Going To Flip Out On That LOST Of Income Child!
He would be on the streets
In 3, 2, 1
@@mrshappilymarried1I didn't mean to laugh but..😅😅
Ain't no way, no how!!! But just how MANY women are doing this!??
Too' many 😒
I was one but with one job... idk I guess the desperation of wanting a family had me doing it
A LOT. 🤦🏽♀️
@@trishc8390 Yep!
Has to be incredibly low self esteem. It's astonishing...
It sounds to me no one has taught her about having self worth. She is truly dumbfounded by his actions. She has spent months growing a human being in her belly and can’t even get a cent from the father. Very cruel. We literally need to teach our children.
This! Black women are taught; hold him down, be a ride or die, etc. most are not taught that a man should provide and contribute. And most black women didn't have that example growing up either on top of being taught everything wrong. Yet somehow black women are expected to just know the correct way even though they've been taught the wrong way their whole lives. Shame
Sometimes people pleasing even applies to your relationship. When you grown up you learn you don’t have to be someone’s doormat. Especially for family and partners.
In my opinion, homegirl is asking the WRONG questions. The question should be what is the safest way to transition the hell out of that relationship. ... OR, "What is going on with me that's allowing me to allow and accept this situation?" Something along those lines.
She's young, and I hope she uses whatever feedback I know she's most definitely getting to move on and upgrade.
He doesn’t love her . Men provide for women they love sorry but is the truth . She is probably paying all the bills is a sad situation but after 7 years and no ring he is probably never going to marry her and is just using her to build himself . I’ll rather stay single .
People will do what you allow them to do.
Facts
Exactly
She already knows that’s not the man for her idk why she came to social media with this mess
That’s why she is asking …. She feels the wrong in her SOUL!
For confirmation. She young and she doesn’t trust her instincts.
@@nopeninja9765 I’m sure she has a aunt ,mom older cousin someone she could’ve talked to about her situation everything isn’t meant for the internet
To Ignite gender war debates.
This! She could literally give herself peace by leaving him. Saying you got a man isnt worth it if you're out her suffering like this. AND had the nerve to talk about MARRIAGE. ummmmm MA'AM? Please be kinder to yourself. You deserve the world 😢
That is not her man…and she needs to be careful leaving him because men like this is abusive and can become dangerous. I know a beautiful girl who was killed from her bd all because he was abusive, did not do shxt, and she was ready to leave
3 jobs? And he won't get 1??? Oh no baby! Get somebody else to do it🎉
Why would you come on here with this ignorant bs girl bye
I think she said he's working, he's just not contributing, from what I'm getting.
@connie5751 oh ok... That's even worse... Damn. That's cold blooded!
@@AllThingsNella Yes at 3:10 she said he keeps his money to himself like wtf lol
@@AllThingsNella I don’t know how he has the heart to sit there and watch her do all that, while he doesn’t even contribute
BUM is putting it lightly
Selfish, useless men make me 🤢
That’s disgusting. That is such a turn off how is she even sleeping with him? I would literally be disgusted with the site of him.
I’m sitting here feeling slightly sick reading all this…the levels of heartlessness are shocking. This is what she calls a man? I’ve seen dogs take better care of their families.
Exactly why did she keep producing children with him -- knowing they both couldn't afford them and that he didn't want to pay for them. 3 kids with a lazy hobosexual is the definition of insanity!
She’s literally working her young self to her grave 💔
The best thing that we as women can do is to be honest with ourselves. It's okay if a man shows you he is not interested. However, it is not okay, when you stay trying to convince him to change his mind. She asked for advice, but she doesn't really want it, because he has already given her everything she needs to walk out the door. She just doesn't want to. Hopefully she will get it together soon.
I agree with your statement, except the fact of her trying to convince him when I really think she’s trying to convince herself that he actually likes and loves her!
You lend a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it. It's going to be a lot of self-discoveries when she finishes reading those comments.
Ti, this advice that all young women need to hear. I’m still in my 20’s waiting to meet the man that I can build a future with. I’m not being no baby momma and I’m not in competition with no other woman. I’m in my own lane working on myself and waiting for the man that God wants me to be with.
This was a phenomenal speech. You hit the nail on the head with this one. If young people aren't careful, they will end up bitter.
I also love that you showed this young woman grace. Most of us have had bad relationships. You live, you learn, you move on. No shame in it.
This is a struggle love relationship. Broke men will make your life miserable. Always have your own money and don’t let a man live in your house when he’s not your husband. The way he’s acting, he can’t afford a wife and he shouldn’t be dating period. She needs to dump him!
Excellent commentary Lovely Ti!❤
She must be afraid of being alone. Why else would someone put themselves through such mess?
She should get rid of him, bills will quickly reduce.
Social media has become a place people use to trama dump their personal problems, but only want to hear what they want to hear. Keep us out the personal chats
That part they don’t like to hear the truth‼️
Based off of the title, personally, I know 3 women doing this exact thing…
I know one she let some bum dude come live with her & he got her knock up & the female acting all bitter/toxic because she’s pregnant by a BUM & remind you this person is in their late 20’s already got kids🙄
Damn shame!! 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Smh send this video to them! 🤦🏾♀🤦🏾♀
I do too. At least 1. It’s sad
I know one who is the same size as her and let’s a man she’s deeply in love with abuse her for over 10 years. He leaves her and comes back when he’s bored or in jail smh!
I have a friend who is like her and I’m like that’s not your man, that’s your 5th child
Does she listen to the advice you give to her?? I had a ex friend like that but she became bitter b/c a bum got her knock up.
@chelleshell2638 I stay clear of women like this. They are OK accepting nothing from their dusty men but as a friend, they will expect the most from you. Nope. Can't do it.
@@__gemoftheeast That sure is true!! I’m happy I part ways with that female. She ain’t about to drain me with her struggle life but don’t change anything.
@@chelleshell2638 I'm glad you did too. Their logic is bizzare & twisted.
@@__gemoftheeastmy lash tech is like this woman minus the kids. I just listen. She not going no where & accepts him for being a narcissist
Just off of this clip, I definitely agree that she needs to leave him. I don't see how he's enriching her life. If she's gonna be in the same place or better without him, then why is he there? I hope she figures out her worth and realizes that she deserves better. 💜
Exactly, he's dead weight! All he's doing is eating up her groceries, running up her bills and causing her more stress and FOR WHAT, for some dusty peen?!? 🙄🥴
He is enriching her. He is her strong blk KANG!!
Dusty bandits know exactly who to go for and whats sad is they are spoiled for choice. A lot of BW are living this reality.
No way anyone should be forced to do this
She’s not forced unless he’s threatening her… she could’ve left, I am sure she knows that this man is no good and saw the red flags long time ago. People need to recognize the role they play in their own misery.
She not forced she doing what she wants
She is not forced and he isn’t threatening her because if he was, she would’ve said she was afraid to put him on blast. We have to stop this self inflicted victimization
She better run and hide ! Or call the police she chooses to stay ..no mam'e 👎🏽💯
You have to have an exit strategy. It's not easy.
She answered her own question. She needs to let him go.
It pisses me off even more because I know she still not gonna leave him, she’s been accepting it too long 🤦🏽♀️
Yeah I don’t see her getting up and going.
As you mentioned, your partner should not be told what to add to the table you both eat at. Having a phase where they’re working towards better things and can’t help out/provide for the shared household, is not supposed to be permanent.
Ladies get your self esteem out of the gutter. Stand up!
its hard sis
@@kaycampbell364 girl, trust me. Losing money and being annoyed is the least of the things that can happen.
Low self esteem will cause diseases, trauma, and even get you killed. Learn to love yourself before it's too late.
That thing that you're searching for is not going to be found in someone else. Don't abandon yourself.
Never blame anyone else for the things you allow.
She'll eventually learn the hard say but what he's doing is wrong
Nah, the male holds some responsibility too
You can absolutely blame that loser. If you see a purse sitting on a bench that doesn't mean you can take it.
Just because can, doesn't mean you should.
Exactly 💯
ATP Black women need to stop dealing with these men. unless yall just like hard lives.
Nope, no graces given. I'm 25 and have never allowed a BOY to impregnate me and be paying for him too. Being young is not an excuse for poor choices, pick your co-parent well and don't complain when someone treats you like crap; get up and go. I had an ex that would rather buy me designer than help me pay bills knowing that My health has been degrading and I haven't been able to work, I left him 🤣 I may be broke but I'm not a fool. Make smart choices
Idc and don’t feel no way for her because she is allowing it ….when she has had enough she’ll move on
The part “city girls” leave out is how much they had to degrade themselves for bags , trips, etc…
And for this young lady… why would you even consider marrying this guy. You can do much better BY YOURSELF! He is using her for a place to stay! It’s not worth it at all! He is NOT an option for you and your kids. Leave ASAP. I wish I could big sister her. Good luck with your next move…. Hopefully you next move is OUT!
I pray she realizes her worth and moves on 🙏🏾
We need to ignore these people in 2024..🙄
I agree with you. This type of scenario has been going on within the Black community for decades at this point. I'm a BW who grew up middle class with both a Mom & Dad who were physically, emotionally, and financially present...yet I was never naive to not notice stuff like this woman's situation that is constantly going on in other spaces. I'm not hard headed...I learned what not to do by simply looking at the actions and experiences of BW and Dusties.
💯💯
🤞🏾🎯
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I love how you give good advice to the younger generations. You are just amazing ❤❤
She said that the women have to be already together but young men find the women to build with 🤔. That's good advice? No it isn't. Women should not be building men up. These men need to be already together as well and have a large savings account. Also, they need to be educated to have multiple streams of income.
I feel this is a dangerous relationship to stay in. God forbid she lost her job or portion of her income. He may be the type to try and control what she eats or stop her from eating altogether. She can find a man willing to be a PARTNER!
right then people will clown her for being homeless/falling on hard times with children. LEAVE HIM.
@@melsutubeificationyea, the people would be HIM. HE would clown for for being a clown for him.
This is why you don’t move in with somebody until you are married
And Even That Is NOT A Automatic Benefit Marrying A Crazy Lazy Pimp.
I mean she’s obviously fine with it being that she’s doing it . Nobody’s forcing her to work herself like this with a bum around smh thank god I have a provider who takes care of his family
I agree, she is playing part in her own misery. She knows that the man is wrong and a dusty! I hope she leaves and get some more self esteem.
Right? Is this a joke?why would she come to SM with this? Be miserable in peace and in private.
That’s her fault working 3 jobs taking care of a grown man
Why is she online asking this question when she knows that he is no good? I am sure she saw red flags but choose to stay just to have a man! She needs some self esteem and leave this useless man alone… At this point she’s playing part in her own misery.
Ti, you are a true gem. Your content is a balanced mix of world events, celebrity gossip, conspiracies, and valuable advice.
I hope this video and your words of wisdom reach those who need to hear it. This topic hits me closer than I would like it. I've sent this video to someone, and hopefully, they can make the right decision.
The bar must be in hell...
😂😂😂
When I was young, i always dated educated men w/ good jobs. Never been in abusive relationship. Many of us choose well.
This woman is an enabler and has allowed this to happen. I don’t feel sorry for her, she should have got rid of him the minute he didn’t help her with the bills and rent.
I feel bad for her. This is why I prefer to just live on my own versus living with someone when I’m not married. It just doesn’t benefit or work in our favor when we live with a guy. Also I wouldn’t have a child with someone if they’re not financially stable and I’m not married.
My Dad says 1+1 is 2. We all passed basic Math. If a person is not an asset, they are a liability. She must not know her worth and have low esteem. He needs to go neeooooow!
Gurl. I feel for you. Lots of women have gone through this. You have to leave him. He's not a partner let alone provider. The longer you take the more time you waste. He will resent you in the end. Trust me you won't get the gratitude you deserve.
I just feel like a lot of women come to the internet with issues that they know they need to get out of. It’s not that hard to listen back to your own video and figure that you need to leave
I hope she learn from this. She is young woman and everyone make mistakes. She doesn't need to suffer while having a bad partner. She can do that all herself 😊
Mistakes, or asinine decisions? Let’s call it what it is.
I hope this don’t make her bitter because it can. It can really change a person
Damnnn Ti YOU LOOK GOOD SIS!
With love from Amsterdam❤️
She has the power to change that ladies never date backwards this ain't it just remain single until you get yourself together we got names for guys like him it's called *BUM*
Exactly 💯 💯 💯
The whole look is a vibe.. It's given TLC vibes. The hair, top, make up 😍
You handled this with care, she definitely deserves grace. You spoke the real..
Know your worth!!!
I’m sure he was like this before they even started to have children. Many of us are conditioned to think that struggle love and toxic relationships are the norm
Kick him out!! It's pure selfishness and laziness at that point
Prevention ladies! Stop getting in these relationships by doing proper vetting, because by the time you realize it's not working for you, you will want to leave and it's at that time you will be more prone to getting deleted by that man. Clearly this young woman knows it's not ok the way he's treating her, since she had to come on social media to seek advice. And she mentioned marriage but there is no mention of her leaving him. She needs to plan her escape CAREFULLY, and get out a dodge. He's not going to change, he doesn't love her, and he likes the fact that he can live with her and sponge off her. You are right on Lovelyti, "people treat you how you allow them to treat you." Don't just complain and do nothing about it. Get out of the situation, and get out before it's too late.
How do you know she's not lying?🤷🏽♂we don't know his side of the story,🤔
I feel like she's leaving a lot out of the story. Even without her man, she's basically living check to check. She needs to recalibrate her spending and/or lifestyle.
Shes clearly trying to. She said at the end her man doesnt even want to go through a simple budget. The issue here is more of their communication. Without that, the money will never look right doesnt matter what she does if she stays with him.
She lacks accountability... if yall both living check to check the last thing u need to be doing is begging for money. If anything they need to be working on improving their financial situation
What is she getting out of this "struggle love"....NOTHING
This color looks fabulous on you! It softens you up and compliments your skin tone 🥰
Anyone in a relationship that doesn't want to discuss their finances with you has something to hide. You're either a team or you're not and if you can't work together then your progress will be like walking in sludge.
Seek wise counsel.
Other races of women don’t have to bring any thing to the table .
💯 not even ass
Why is she allowing this? To show everyone she has a man? No Ma’am!! People treat you the way you allow them to. Our proud, Black Queens do not need to be in such a predicament. 😐
Ti I’ve always loved your thought process and input and this was just as great. I usually watch your videos on my tv but I had to login and comment how much I needed that advice you gave out. Even tho it was to that young lady it reached me as well. Love you ti and keep being great ❤
Love seeing you back on camera!
You are absolutely on point Lovelyti!💯🎯
I saw this video and she said she is NOT leaving..
She wants to know how to change 💩into gold and none of us have that recipe.
What’s sadder still is that she has continued to accept this behavior and therefore she has taught him she will stay no matter what.
Once you’ve taught someone that is the treatment you’ll accept and you don’t want to leave..you may as well just remain quiet and accept what ever comes.
This is the definition of laying in the bed you made../
I'm glad you mentioned that. At certain ages things need to be in aligned, no if and or buts about it. Straight up.
That lady is a liar!!!! She made that video and then keeps making more videos about this situation. Complaining and going off on people for telling her leave… she was found liking comments insinuating that there is no man and that she’s getting clout😂🤡
Wow
Just because shes liking comments doesn't mean she's a liar. If anything it just show lost she is.
i dont know how people fall for these made up stories. no proof, no context, nothing.
WRONG!!! Men build!!! Bw please stop building with these men, once everything is built he will leave you. Don’t be Betty the builder!!!
What’s the point of a grown able body man if he can’t help or provide… I wouldn’t even feel comfortable claiming him if I pay the bills etc this is sad and certainly more common than it seems
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Everything you said was on point.
This young woman needs to leave that relationship. Kick him out of the house.
He’s not looking for a relationship, he’s looking for a bangmaid while poor girl is overworking to keep her household.
Ti spoke the truth. Also, be weary of fakes and liars. Don't let their words fool you -- hold them to their words and make certain their actions prove their words to be true.
That’s on her, she must got low self esteem .Secondly that’s not her man,he doesn’t even provide for his family and watches her struggle.He’s probably cheating on her and spending the money on somebody else. I hope somebody gives her good advice and she gets the strength to get that bum out her house.
Girl you dropped nothing but truth in this video! I really needed to hear this at this moment in time.