Yes, I don't agree with that statement either. I do however believe in knowing others your own strong points and idiosycracies crystalize. I thought this Tedx was excellent.
I love to listen to elders, they have such experience of life that it is always interesting to hear what they have to say. They are a great source of knowledge
I think it more depends on person. I met many old people who where just angry without any right reason. They just hated whole world and act like that. So if I should listen to those people I wouldnt be Happy. Even young people could be inteligent and kind and know sometimes much more than some angry old person
(Some of) The 25 Questions to Ask: 1. How have your priorities changed over the years? 2. What do you think about your spending habits and what do you need that money cannot buy? 3. What would you like to be engraved on your tombstone? 4. Which parts of your life were a waste of time? 5. What have you rebelled against in the past - and what are you rebelling against now? 6. What are the limits of your compassion? 7. What moral, intellectual, aesthetic and social effects does the work you do have on others and on yourself? 8. What makes a life go well? How should one live? 9. How have you made and lost friendships and what other kinds of friends would you like? 10. What are your earliest memories of your childhood? 11. What brings you greatest happiness when you think back on your life so far? 12. If you could teach your children one thing - what would it be? 13. What do you think of Theodore Zeldin’s proposition that the greatest change since the agricultural revolution is that for the first time “men and women are talking with each other as equals”? 14. What motivates you to get up in the morning? 15. If you could do what ever you wanted - what would that be? 16. Describe your perfect partner? 17. Who would you lie for and whom wouldn’t you lie for? 18. In what way do you plan to leave the world a better place when you die? 19. With whom would you like to reconcile? 20. What have been the most difficult conversations for you? 21. What was the best moment you had with your parents? What the worst one? 22. What kind of humour do you prefer? 23. In what sense do you want to become more courageous? 24. Are there illusions that you cherish? 25. Which dream have you had and not fulfilled yet?
26. What was the best compliment anyone ever paid you? 27. What do you think is the meaning of life? 28. If there is one thing you can undo in life, what would it be? 29. How have you dealt with resentments in life? 30. What is the one dark/bad part of your self that you wish you can make peace with?
I think what he's saying is you need to be humble. That is what is needed for listening. There is very little listening these days because there is very little humility.
Mr, Zeldin, it’s a pleasure listening to him. Listening to seniors is sometimes inspiring because they always have so much to give. He’s right in order to have a loving healthy relationship, we have to first love ourselves
I believe that we need to have an authentic, loving relationship with ourselves first, and then share ourselves and our love with others. We have so much to share and to learn.
When an Educated person enlightens you they may or may not want to be generous with their insights. It not their job to educate others. We found him a soulful but a true magnanimous, and genuine humanitarian.
All I can say is "I would like to hear a lot more what Theodore Zeldin has to say!" Wow what a lesson in kindness , compassion & original deep thinking! thank~you ;)
~“The Extent of your memories determines how much you can imagine about your future.”.... wow! But the Title is misleading. Not exclusive to couples but the art of listening and connecting. Learning to Speak and hear in a different way. So much more! I’m still processing! Very rich material!
'Opportunity insurance' (about 13 min in) is a great idea, and part of a blossoming of the resources that are right at hand (human talent, younger generations) who wish to have meaningful lives, have impact, and connect. Theodore's use of third spaces for connecting and learning is such a spark of creation.
Yesterday I founded on Facebook a group called I LIVE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT LIFE. In Western society, emotions seen as weaknesses. It is an internal energy that we can develop and navigate in our favor. This morning, I listened to Theodore TED expression and loved every word. Then I read about the speaker and saw that our past is from the same cultures. Then I looked at people's reactions and saw how human beings yearn to be more rational and enjoy (emotion) of themselves and the surrounding people. Yes, you are right; a person can understand and accept others only after he understands himself. In other words, when human understands his reasons for what he feels in the present, this means his feelings are intelligent.
Instead if trying to find myself, maybe I should be looking for myself in others. Listening, understanding others, and being humble...there's a lot that we can learn from this speach he made. In today's world communication has been getting hard, but people like him leaving strong messages, help us reconnect with each other. It's an honar to come across this video.
I had dementia and he said right thing focus on ur childhood memories I went back to my childhood place amd after five years of being lost, I have started regaining my memories
Active listening is an art that has been on the decline for a long time. Mr. Zeldin speaks well of the need to listen, hear, and process not simply that what aligns with our own opinions, but that what does not align in order to come to know and understand another person. This requires truly being present and focused in the moment with another individual. This is what is missing in many interactions between people, not just couples.
Kenny Ethan Jones absolutely! What a fascinating man...and such a key subject that only the most thoughtful people would choose to study and bring to light for our higher good. Benefitting humanity. Beautiful.
He has such a beautiful heart! I align deeply with everything he is saying. It's making more sense now about why I feel such a struggle to connect with people. I really don't enjoy small talk and shallow conversations about unimportant subjects. It's interesting how many comments are about his looks when his message is about listening and discovering the truth
The key to saving our failing civilization is community. Community is the most basic of concepts, yet it seems that we have forgotten its value...or perhaps we have never known it properly. Either way, with the great difficulties that we face in modern life (driven by population density), the only way to overcome is to work together. To work together, we must take time to know one another; and to know one another, we must communicate.
Here is a Ted with alot of wise and golden nuggets on the art of being human. A couple in this talk has to do with you and another person, not necessarily a romantic partner; that is the art of dialogue with another human being. And at the heart of that is mastering the art of listening. Not thinking of what you want to say as soon as you can, but of truly listening and asking the other for more elaboration, more story, more thoughts and ideas and feelings so you can understand this person even more. There is always more to discover in another person. Every person has a world within them (him/herself) and as Ted says in his talk, is far more interesting to learn more about than oneself, who by the way, you never can fully know. (I learned that lesson after years of psychoanalysis. While my analysis ended, my self-learning will continue for as long as I live.) Many pearls of wisdom you will find in this Ted Talk.
Everyone's upset because it s not about couples, stop being outraged about the title, learn to let go of the little inconveniences and enjoy this great content even if you eexpected something else...this exercise alone will help you have a happy couple. Peace
I did expect to hear more about coupling. Unfortunately, I kept looking at how much longer the tape had. Isn’t it an old concept that we should ‘listen’ more? I learnt ver little. It is wise though, to ask each other questions to learn more about each other.
4-12-2019 What I've concluded is building relationships is a serious human skill. It has always been found and then cultivated like food has been. There are pockets and clusters of good humans who know how to be such, but also large areas of growing people who do not. If we don't move around (education & discovery means only--household moving not required) you will likely be stagnant with whatever you find around you...and that may be an abundance of selfish people in your given circumstances. I'm always looking for the good humans...where they thrive or seem to be bountiful without my help. What I've found is they thrive when and wherever part of their egos allows them to think about this topic, done so well by this good communicating human being, but then act well on it also. Imagine if you were a traveler from another world who landed here on present Earth and saw X-Y-Z problems, and your world had overcome those already. You would help right? Hopefully. We acknowledge that but we aren't being the good natured, harmless change ourselves right in our backyard. Why? We feel like we're too alone in the adventure. Just fear, once again. The natives and old-timers are what keep revisiting our Earthen egos, trying to wake us up to the romance that is waiting to thrive amonsgt us. Good CommUnity is a terrible thing to waste. Come on. Allied Fathers Community Unions (AFCU). be in the change
Talking about fear, fears is major in couple relationships. I think it is also major in life. It seems to me each persons' fear is formed by life experiences. It seems to me some fears are learned by example growing up or by osmosis during those years. Beyond that, what are fears in life. It is about being, feeling heard and listing.
I love his ideas about cultural centers. Using social media to generate and encourage actual sociability is ironically brilliant. Hotels that encourage people to expand their own experiences
Mindful listening opposed to mind-full listening! Just waiting for the other person to finish their sentence/statement so you can input your own thoughts/opinion. Be patient, understanding, ask more questions for further understanding as to why someone has a particular opinion or view on a subject. Be mindful of where you are in the world and who you're speaking with so you don't impose your will on others. Share thoughts not demands! Great talk! I always enjoy sitting at the feet of an elder sharing knowledge and wisdom when they speak. I wish you well, all of you reading this.
Theodore is an example of why it is desirable for elderly old souls to stick around, to live long, long lives, providing perspective to the young ones (some of whom are old souls), helping them to create replacements for current societal systems. He may or may not realize that learning from the past includes what we have learned from an Akash of hundreds or thousands of lifetimes. That wisdom is the old soul advantage. Understanding and wisdom of current reality is the elderly advantage.
A wise man. I believe what he says is pertinent to all relationships including couples. I have lived with someone for fourteen years and he never talks about himself or asks me any questions about my life or opinions. It is bizarre, and difficult. I have learned to live with it as he is a good person, but I know I will never accept it and will continue to endeavour trying to have meaningful conversations.
juliette andrews I also have a partner that doesn’t talk much or open for deeper conversations. I believe as long as we know the other does what he needs to do, we just trust all is well. I tried sometimes to force him into conversation but that didn’t work at all! He told me that he doesn’t need these conversations to understand things better. So I wonder, perhaps for some of us, talking is not needed? For me, as a woman particularly because women love to have conversations, it’s not always easy to live with a quiet man. But on the other hand I learn to accept the other differences, and not trying to oppose my ways onto him... I guess that all is good for as long as the underlying energy of the two is positive and there is no repressed energy that can lead into complications.
The guys a true genius! Simple thinking yet genius because we naturally like to complicate the most simple things. Go back to basics! His wisdom is so beautiful and heart warming. Thank you, sir!❤
Love! World became so preoccupated for herself that the other one disappears from the landscape. This man has love and humbleness. May God bless him! May God bless us and forgive us all and help us change into good God's humans!
So I think knowing facts and understanding each other s problems too helps us a lot and most importantly everyone s problems..thank you for giving this opportunity
Completely intrigued by this idea of social experience for new ways of creating work. I think we have finally reached a point we can start optimizing what each of us has to give to the world and refocus on what’s important - people, and what are work life looks like.
I have been a couples counselor for 16 years and values and epistemology is much more important than just remembering and listening. People constantly have conflict in their personal relationships because they are taught to ignore their genetic motivations.
I very much agree. I have had that idea myself about work places and western work. I think we need to integrate our culture into our daily lives so we don't separate our lives into to blocks. I spend all my time with my mom because I want to know her most. Work cannot fullfill me in that way. We only live once- might as well actually live it! Thank you!
I love this talk! So important for ppl like me that appreciate the power of listening but don't always do it as well as we wish. Its not an easy talk to digest but give it all your attention to the very end. Its very worth it! :)
Communication technology is awesome. I love to get to know people from another part of the globe who has completely different background and yet share the same way of experiencing life. Thank you for sharing this talk. Much appreciated.
This is like listening to my grandpa and there are some really close similarities. I love this set up, it’s like being told something wise by your own family
My whole life is revolving around making a life beautiful and positive around ! My guy tries to talk and listen to my emotional subjects and it’s great that we try and that’s how 12 years of love is going on ... I hope blessings and humility from u all too x
im here to learning English and glad find your video and your good and clear sound as i lesten and also learn that is important to listen to each other espicialy in that world's social media no time for others
in the act of listening I understand there is a silent speach, speach that means I want to communicate, understand you, harmonize and ultimately to bring or attract peace of mind. There is a need of great patience because sometimes what a listener gets is aggression which then triggers self defense mechanisms which are rooted in our brains, so listening also needs to address self control and power to keep the communication at a level that secures safety and a ground to keep communication on.
A healthy brain can accept new ideas @ any age. Fear doesn't allow us to be creative. Work better be based on being in harmony with human & nature needs.
I believe he used a perfect word ‘couple, as a replacement for ‘’harmonious productive communication between two persons no matter how they are,, perfect
I really liked this talk. I thought it was interesting. But the title is very misleading, when It mentions it’s going to be about a couple‘s relationship. Although, I can easily in for that what he means is that couple should listen to each other more. Which is perfectly sound. Also, I would’ve love to hear his thoughts on how we can actually be better listeners. As a psychologist myself, I have learned skills such as active listening and listening to understand, and have improved greatly over the last few years. But as a constant learner I would’ve love to hear how he keeps his mind engaged while listening to another human being.
Humans can only feel 2 emotions. Fear and Love. Every phobia, behavioural disorder and Neurosis is a manifestation of fear or a direct experience of fear. Once your fear subsides all that remains is love.
Simply beautiful ! I totally agree, let’s make space for one another and create opportunities ! If we all moved with love the world would be such a better place. This gentleman touched on things that would reduce mental health issues significantly
I think it's not just know about each other and discover about the life. I think it's also the only way we can know ourselves. Seeing more and more in the world and ideas people have, is the way we need to follow to discover ourselves.
Most wonderful idea that I've heard on TED Talks - Art of Being a Couple (art of conversation with Others) Yes, have wanted since 1960's Love idea of being an Explorer with this idea. Will Mr. Zeldin offer classes? I'm wanting to hear more.Agree we need to learn how to converse with each other. Listening is key. Studied Human Development, Communication to discover my own answers needed. Gratefully Heard!
I was driving my son to school. I saw at least 10 homeless people. Why can’t those people use their skills to live in our society? How does our society refuse them admittance? Why can’t there be other ways of living that aren’t mainstream? Why can’t community be allowed for them? What if we had a community center on land that teaches people to build Cobb houses from soil, straw, and water? And teach them to garden and grow their own food? Why does society demonize anyone who doesn’t choose to work within the standard 9 to 5? How can we change our thinking to see other new ways of living? Like the speaker said, we are the change, we either create or conform to something that is not feeding our souls. We all know it’s true but we go through the day surrounded by a host of unhappy people. I feel too many people have felt they had no other choice but to belong to something that they don’t even realize isn’t what they really need. We need society that nourishes the good in us, that promotes opportunities for us to build each other up, to create a social fabric that weaves everyone into the cloth. A quilt of all the diversity of life. We know that ancient rainforests have many types of life that creates stability, resilience. If one tree is attacked, the neighboring trees can lend assistance through the root system. We need those community roots. What we have now is individual trees planted on vast plains of isolation! Not good for forest survival, and likewise not good for us as humans. It takes more than a smile, a hug, a nod of approval, letting someone go first, or seeing all people as our brothers and sisters. But that is the mindset that can give us the strength to reinvent society based on a human cooperation model. I feel sustainable living in a collection of communities would be a good start. Give the beuracrats (sic), the vision to remove the obstacles, rules, that prevent us from changing our society. Convince the wealthy elites that they can be part of the solution too. Stop all class, race, political divides. Don’t blame anyone for where we are as a society. That like telling a story from one perspective and insisting that someone else sees it the same way. As people we all have ideas that can create the comfortable social conditions. And yes, I agree we have to be willing to be fearless instead of fearful. To risk looking silly or making mistakes or questioning either inside our own conscience or questioning others in a questioning way. Not to try to change another person’s mind through force, but by giving others the food for thought they need to grow in understanding. Because I agree, the more we understand others, the more misconceptions we can remove from our own thinking and the more refined we become in pursuing the changes we need. Long winded comment. But hopefully not a lot of hot air!
You can easily see that he has a lot more to say than the English language can offer him. Not necessarily in the messages he's conveying but in how he would express himself (we would say something like how he would decorate the words in my native language)
Thank you for sharing your wise words and efforts to make this world become a more tolerant and better one. I really appreciate your caring, human and inspiring words.
What he says is to relevant, society complains about my generation nowadays. He's right in his suggestions and analysis, would love to take a class with him.
This is related to the art of being a couple. Listen to each other and discover the memories of others. Discover what goes on in other peoples heads. Men do not talk very well to women. Reinvent the way we talk. Practice by talking to strangers with the most difficult subjects. Then when you have practiced this skill and have overcome the fear you have of talking to your mate
Yes I am One of those women who no longer are willing to shut up. In admitting to that I also admit to craving conversation that is meaningful between people of diverse backgrounds. I think that we no longer ask challenging or relevant questions of people in our lives and never of strangers. It is not acceptable without permission. There is no protocol for that kind of conversation without establishing some kind of trust or agreement.
Great talk with really great ideas. I would definitely search more about him and his work. I feel like I can learn a lot more from him. The title lacks accuracy, the person who chose it watched only the first 30 seconds of the video.
Since i have discovered God , i felt really free. Free from fear, overall. God made me a better listener and give more attention to others,have real interest in listening and helping others. Less egoist. More empathic. Made me concentrate on the needs of others without losing myself. God is love and puts balance in everything ,making things right.
“He didn’t mention anything about being a couple.” Yes, he did- do you think it’s possible that if that’s what a person thinks about this talk, perhaps they don’t know what a “couple” actually is? It is two people who understand these concepts deciding that the other is their favorite person. If someone doesn’t understand that these means of communication are *essential* to human connection, let alone, a romantic one, should they really be looking for a romantic relationship?
Actually, I heard beyond just a couple, but partnership and relationships. Any kind of relationship, whether with family or friends or people who interact with daily. Even a relationship with yourself.
This is true is you are still stuck in your ego. Take up meditation and Yoga, loose your persona and then you won’t have to try at all to understand and have genuine empathy for others. Communication and feelings of compassionate compromise will flow effortlessly.
"I think it's impossible to know one's self. I think it's much more interesting to know others."
That's gold, right there.
...and in turn you will come to know yourself. It's a win-win!
I dont agree with it but its an interesting thought
Yes, I don't agree with that statement either. I do however believe in knowing others your own strong points and idiosycracies crystalize. I thought this Tedx was excellent.
Knowing thyself last, or not knowing thyself excellently, is no ordinary transgression upon ones life..
if i 'know' myself i'm a shallow person...(Oscar Wilde)
I love to listen to elders, they have such experience of life that it is always interesting to hear what they have to say. They are a great source of knowledge
"When an old man dies, a library burns to the ground."
Not every old man the same amount of wisdom and ability to tell in right words. But own story of course.
I think it more depends on person. I met many old people who where just angry without any right reason. They just hated whole world and act like that. So if I should listen to those people I wouldnt be Happy.
Even young people could be inteligent and kind and know sometimes much more than some angry old person
"The extent of your memories determines how much you can imagine about the future." What an interesting idea.
I’m glad he’s sitting down.... I want those people speaking to be more comfortable and natural as they are talking with us. Very interesting.
Jessica LT I agree ☝🏻 I love this type of setting.
Yes!!!
(Some of) The 25 Questions to Ask:
1. How have your priorities changed over the years?
2. What do you think about your spending habits and what do you need that money cannot buy?
3. What would you like to be engraved on your tombstone?
4. Which parts of your life were a waste of time?
5. What have you rebelled against in the past - and what are you rebelling against now?
6. What are the limits of your compassion?
7. What moral, intellectual, aesthetic and social effects does the work you do have on others and on yourself?
8. What makes a life go well? How should one live?
9. How have you made and lost friendships and what other kinds of friends would you like?
10. What are your earliest memories of your childhood?
11. What brings you greatest happiness when you think back on your life so far?
12. If you could teach your children one thing - what would it be?
13. What do you think of Theodore Zeldin’s proposition that the greatest change since the agricultural revolution is that for the first time “men and women are talking with each other as equals”?
14. What motivates you to get up in the morning?
15. If you could do what ever you wanted - what would that be?
16. Describe your perfect partner?
17. Who would you lie for and whom wouldn’t you lie for?
18. In what way do you plan to leave the world a better place when you die?
19. With whom would you like to reconcile?
20. What have been the most difficult conversations for you?
21. What was the best moment you had with your parents? What the worst one?
22. What kind of humour do you prefer?
23. In what sense do you want to become more courageous?
24. Are there illusions that you cherish?
25. Which dream have you had and not fulfilled yet?
Well done.
not easy to answer, only by reading them, they brought tears into my eyes.
26. What was the best compliment anyone ever paid you?
27. What do you think is the meaning of life?
28. If there is one thing you can undo in life, what would it be?
29. How have you dealt with resentments in life?
30. What is the one dark/bad part of your self that you wish you can make peace with?
Olga Remisova the same me too 😔. I found it so hard to answer and I started crying 😢
Thankyou, for this. Very profound.
I think what he's saying is you need to be humble. That is what is needed for listening. There is very little listening these days because there is very little humility.
I listened you
celal777 .
True story
True. Everyone talks too much of late and so no one listens.
correct
Talk TO each other. Not AT each other.
Great talk 👍🏼
But also to listen to others.
Talk with each other. 🥰
We're talking AT each other now.. 😕
Or better yet, WITH one another. It's most engaging.
Mr, Zeldin, it’s a pleasure listening to him. Listening to seniors is sometimes inspiring because they always have so much to give. He’s right in order to have a loving healthy relationship, we have to first love ourselves
"Knowing others is the only thing that matters." Great point.
I believe that we need to have an authentic, loving relationship with ourselves first, and then share ourselves and our love with others. We have so much to share and to learn.
When an Educated person enlightens you they may or may not want to be generous with their insights. It not their job to educate others. We found him a soulful but a true magnanimous, and genuine humanitarian.
All I can say is "I would like to hear a lot more what Theodore Zeldin has to say!" Wow what a lesson in kindness , compassion & original deep thinking! thank~you ;)
~“The Extent of your memories determines how much you can imagine about your future.”.... wow! But the Title is misleading. Not exclusive to couples but the art of listening and connecting. Learning to Speak and hear in a different way. So much more! I’m still processing! Very rich material!
'Opportunity insurance' (about 13 min in) is a great idea, and part of a blossoming of the resources that are right at hand (human talent, younger generations) who wish to have meaningful lives, have impact, and connect. Theodore's use of third spaces for connecting and learning is such a spark of creation.
Yesterday I founded on Facebook a group called I LIVE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT LIFE. In Western society, emotions seen as weaknesses. It is an internal energy that we can develop and navigate in our favor.
This morning, I listened to Theodore TED expression and loved every word. Then I read about the speaker and saw that our past is from the same cultures. Then I looked at people's reactions and saw how human beings yearn to be more rational and enjoy (emotion) of themselves and the surrounding people.
Yes, you are right; a person can understand and accept others only after he understands himself. In other words, when human understands his reasons for what he feels in the present, this means his feelings are intelligent.
I love what he's preaching... aim for self realization, self fulfillment, knowing others is what life is all about and knowing oneself
Instead if trying to find myself, maybe I should be looking for myself in others. Listening, understanding others, and being humble...there's a lot that we can learn from this speach he made. In today's world communication has been getting hard, but people like him leaving strong messages, help us reconnect with each other. It's an honar to come across this video.
I had dementia and he said right thing focus on ur childhood memories
I went back to my childhood place amd after five years of being lost, I have started regaining my memories
Prabz Kaur I’m so happy to hear that, keep up your effort, great job, I know how hard it can be to help ourselves in difficult circumstances 🌿
Active listening is an art that has been on the decline for a long time. Mr. Zeldin speaks well of the need to listen, hear, and process not simply that what aligns with our own opinions, but that what does not align in order to come to know and understand another person. This requires truly being present and focused in the moment with another individual. This is what is missing in many interactions between people, not just couples.
Thank you for this comment♥️
Love this comment 💞💕💕💞
Amen, sister!
This is one of the most interesting Ted talks I've watched to date.
Kenny Ethan Jones absolutely! What a fascinating man...and such a key subject that only the most thoughtful people would choose to study and bring to light for our higher good. Benefitting humanity. Beautiful.
He has such a beautiful heart! I align deeply with everything he is saying. It's making more sense now about why I feel such a struggle to connect with people. I really don't enjoy small talk and shallow conversations about unimportant subjects. It's interesting how many comments are about his looks when his message is about listening and discovering the truth
The key to saving our failing civilization is community. Community is the most basic of concepts, yet it seems that we have forgotten its value...or perhaps we have never known it properly. Either way, with the great difficulties that we face in modern life (driven by population density), the only way to overcome is to work together. To work together, we must take time to know one another; and to know one another, we must communicate.
Working together is something the youth knows NOTHING ABOUT!
@@stardustgirl2904 I'm not young at all, but I know that not to be true.
stardustgirl I think exactly WE the youths know what community is! :)) look around and you will be pleasantly surprised.
I need this man to be my grandpa
ahahah
Can we share him? 💕
theres fathers that age
Agree! He has science hair too!
@@FayCreative yours is probably VERY modern. Enjoy your personality 👍
Here is a Ted with alot of wise and golden nuggets on the art of being human.
A couple in this talk has to do with you and another person, not necessarily a romantic
partner; that is the art of dialogue with another human being.
And at the heart of that is mastering the art of listening. Not thinking
of what you want to say as soon as you can, but of truly listening and asking the other
for more elaboration, more story, more thoughts and ideas and feelings so you can understand
this person even more. There is always more to discover in another person. Every
person has a world within them (him/herself) and as Ted says in his talk, is far more interesting
to learn more about than oneself, who by the way, you never can fully know.
(I learned that lesson after years of psychoanalysis. While my analysis ended, my self-learning
will continue for as long as I live.)
Many pearls of wisdom you will find in this Ted Talk.
Everyone's upset because it s not about couples, stop being outraged about the title, learn to let go of the little inconveniences and enjoy this great content even if you eexpected something else...this exercise alone will help you have a happy couple. Peace
Dana Hash Hash Oddly, what he’s speaking about is very objective in answering, yet is the key to coupling +
I did expect to hear more about coupling. Unfortunately, I kept looking at how much longer the tape had. Isn’t it an old concept that we should ‘listen’ more? I learnt ver little. It is wise though, to ask each other questions to learn more about each other.
@@deniseogir2434 it is an old concept, but one many don't understand or practice. I think another way of putting it is emotional intelligence.
Kimberley B ok
@@deniseogir2434 why don't you listen to it again. There was a lot to apply. 🙂
The title should be called 'The Art of Being Human'. Is it just me or are people forgetting how to just be human.
arwenenchanted I think to forget we would have to have something to forget. I’m not so sure we’ve ever done it well. 😆
4-12-2019
What I've concluded is building relationships is a serious human skill. It has always been found and then cultivated like food has been. There are pockets and clusters of good humans who know how to be such, but also large areas of growing people who do not. If we don't move around (education & discovery means only--household moving not required) you will likely be stagnant with whatever you find around you...and that may be an abundance of selfish people in your given circumstances. I'm always looking for the good humans...where they thrive or seem to be bountiful without my help. What I've found is they thrive when and wherever part of their egos allows them to think about this topic, done so well by this good communicating human being, but then act well on it also.
Imagine if you were a traveler from another world who landed here on present Earth and saw X-Y-Z problems, and your world had overcome those already. You would help right? Hopefully. We acknowledge that but we aren't being the good natured, harmless change ourselves right in our backyard. Why? We feel like we're too alone in the adventure. Just fear, once again. The natives and old-timers are what keep revisiting our Earthen egos, trying to wake us up to the romance that is waiting to thrive amonsgt us. Good CommUnity is a terrible thing to waste. Come on.
Allied Fathers Community Unions (AFCU).
be in the change
That's the profound sickness in this world my dear we've all forgotten we are it's time to wake up and remember I love you namaste
Agree and I feel obsession or addiction to computers/technology have been the driving force behind this disintegration in humanity
Talking about fear, fears is major in couple relationships. I think it is also major in life. It seems to me each persons' fear is formed by life experiences. It seems to me some fears are learned by example growing up or by osmosis during those years. Beyond that, what are fears in life.
It is about being, feeling heard and listing.
I love his ideas about cultural centers. Using social media to generate and encourage actual sociability is ironically brilliant. Hotels that encourage people to expand their own experiences
........ THIS GENTLEMAN MAKES A LOT OF GOOD
SENSE! THANK YOU FOR BEING AN INTELLIGENT
EXPLORER! .......
Mindful listening opposed to mind-full listening! Just waiting for the other person to finish their sentence/statement so you can input your own thoughts/opinion. Be patient, understanding, ask more questions for further understanding as to why someone has a particular opinion or view on a subject. Be mindful of where you are in the world and who you're speaking with so you don't impose your will on others. Share thoughts not demands! Great talk! I always enjoy sitting at the feet of an elder sharing knowledge and wisdom when they speak. I wish you well, all of you reading this.
a very kind wise grandpa.
Theodore is an example of why it is desirable for elderly old souls to stick around, to live long, long lives, providing perspective to the young ones (some of whom are old souls), helping them to create replacements for current societal systems. He may or may not realize that learning from the past includes what we have learned from an Akash of hundreds or thousands of lifetimes. That wisdom is the old soul advantage. Understanding and wisdom of current reality is the elderly advantage.
A wise man. I believe what he says is pertinent to all relationships including couples. I have lived with someone for fourteen years and he never talks about himself or asks me any questions about my life or opinions. It is bizarre, and difficult. I have learned to live with it as he is a good person, but I know I will never accept it and will continue to endeavour trying to have meaningful conversations.
juliette andrews I also have a partner that doesn’t talk much or open for deeper conversations. I believe as long as we know the other does what he needs to do, we just trust all is well. I tried sometimes to force him into conversation but that didn’t work at all! He told me that he doesn’t need these conversations to understand things better. So I wonder, perhaps for some of us, talking is not needed? For me, as a woman particularly because women love to have conversations, it’s not always easy to live with a quiet man. But on the other hand I learn to accept the other differences, and not trying to oppose my ways onto him... I guess that all is good for as long as the underlying energy of the two is positive and there is no repressed energy that can lead into complications.
I understand u soooo much
02:22 Do we listen to each other
07:18 How do you overcome fear
10:30 The biggest mistake
The guys a true genius! Simple thinking yet genius because we naturally like to complicate the most simple things. Go back to basics! His wisdom is so beautiful and heart warming. Thank you, sir!❤
Love! World became so preoccupated for herself that the other one disappears from the landscape. This man has love and humbleness. May God bless him! May God bless us and forgive us all and help us change into good God's humans!
Put the last part of this message on billboards all around the world!!✌️
So I think knowing facts and understanding each other s problems too helps us a lot and most importantly everyone s problems..thank you for giving this opportunity
Completely intrigued by this idea of social experience for new ways of creating work. I think we have finally reached a point we can start optimizing what each of us has to give to the world and refocus on what’s important - people, and what are work life looks like.
Being a couple requires you to have meaningful conversations, learning about each other. I assume you guys didnt get the message?
I have been a couples counselor for 16 years and values and epistemology is much more important than just remembering and listening. People constantly have conflict in their personal relationships because they are taught to ignore their genetic motivations.
@@nicholascremato so what's the first step?
You need to have walk and talk's, they work very well! This keeps communication open daily as a couple, and keeps you active and attractive!!!
Marivel Early you can’t have a meaningful conversation with a selfish, grumpy old person
Wow💡
We need to discover the memories of others.... That will cause intimate moments which will then relate to the title.... This is like a key 🗝️
If we will focus more on what we have and less on what we want from others. our relationships will be way better, become a giver!!!!
Hi
The wizdom and calm of the elderly is unsurpassed
I very much agree. I have had that idea myself about work places and western work.
I think we need to integrate our culture into our daily lives so we don't separate our lives into to blocks. I spend all my time with my mom because I want to know her most. Work cannot fullfill me in that way. We only live once- might as well actually live it! Thank you!
Dealing with Fear... A very useful and ingenious concept. He talks about evolution of human thought to help in the job market.
THEODORE ZELDIN, I like listening to the sound of your voice. 🌻
I love this talk! So important for ppl like me that appreciate the power of listening but don't always do it as well as we wish. Its not an easy talk to digest but give it all your attention to the very end. Its very worth it! :)
Just keep saying yes dear. She'll change her mind so many times this would be the only way to keep your serenity.
Communication technology is awesome. I love to get to know people from another part of the globe who has completely different background and yet share the same way of experiencing life. Thank you for sharing this talk. Much appreciated.
This is like listening to my grandpa and there are some really close similarities. I love this set up, it’s like being told something wise by your own family
No one noticed that for a talk about "being a couple" not once the word "love" is said... and yet it is so right.
My whole life is revolving around making a life beautiful and positive around ! My guy tries to talk and listen to my emotional subjects and it’s great that we try and that’s how 12 years of love is going on ... I hope blessings and humility from u all too x
I do respect his mind and love his soul.
i liked his line of avoiding fear by "selling opportunity insurance rather than catastrophic insurance".
The title is off, yet still relevant. I came here expecting something else but I am so glad I stayed to listen. Beautiful message. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
im here to learning English and glad find your video and your good and clear sound as i lesten and also learn that is important to listen to each other espicialy in that world's social media no time for others
I LOVED this TEDx Talk! It really touched my heart. Thank you Mr. Zeldin and Tedx Talks
in the act of listening I understand there is a silent speach, speach that means I want to communicate, understand you, harmonize and ultimately to bring or attract peace of mind. There is a need of great patience because sometimes what a listener gets is aggression which then triggers self defense mechanisms which are rooted in our brains, so listening also needs to address self control and power to keep the communication at a level that secures safety and a ground to keep communication on.
I had to rewind bc I knew i wasn't listening. I was listening to myself!
This talk gives me logical reasons to challenge social anxiety. Thanks Theo.
A healthy brain can accept new ideas @ any age. Fear doesn't allow us to be creative. Work better be based on being in harmony with human & nature needs.
Livon Diramerian 👏🏽👏🏽👂🏽👏🏽
I believe he used a perfect word ‘couple, as a replacement for ‘’harmonious productive communication between two persons no matter how they are,, perfect
I really liked this talk. I thought it was interesting. But the title is very misleading, when It mentions it’s going to be about a couple‘s relationship. Although, I can easily in for that what he means is that couple should listen to each other more. Which is perfectly sound.
Also, I would’ve love to hear his thoughts on how we can actually be better listeners. As a psychologist myself, I have learned skills such as active listening and listening to understand, and have improved greatly over the last few years. But as a constant learner I would’ve love to hear how he keeps his mind engaged while listening to another human being.
On point!! We need to find new and meaningful activities for humans. May his ideas be grasped by many!! ❤️
Humans can only feel 2 emotions. Fear and Love. Every phobia, behavioural disorder and Neurosis is a manifestation of fear or a direct experience of fear. Once your fear subsides all that remains is love.
Simply beautiful ! I totally agree, let’s make space for one another and create opportunities !
If we all moved with love the world would be such a better place. This gentleman touched on things that would reduce mental health issues significantly
Is that you, Bilbo? Happy eleventy-first birthday!
😂😂
Ishani Prajapati 😂😂❤️❤️
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 just receive the message and leave!!
🤣
I think it's not just know about each other and discover about the life. I think it's also the only way we can know ourselves. Seeing more and more in the world and ideas people have, is the way we need to follow to discover ourselves.
Most wonderful idea that I've heard on TED Talks - Art of Being a Couple (art of conversation with Others) Yes, have wanted since 1960's Love idea of being an Explorer with this idea. Will Mr. Zeldin offer classes? I'm wanting to hear more.Agree we need to learn how to converse with each other. Listening is key. Studied Human Development, Communication to discover my own answers needed. Gratefully Heard!
interesting point about expanding memory and life experience thru other peoples
I was driving my son to school. I saw at least 10 homeless people. Why can’t those people use their skills to live in our society? How does our society refuse them admittance? Why can’t there be other ways of living that aren’t mainstream? Why can’t community be allowed for them? What if we had a community center on land that teaches people to build Cobb houses from soil, straw, and water? And teach them to garden and grow their own food? Why does society demonize anyone who doesn’t choose to work within the standard 9 to 5? How can we change our thinking to see other new ways of living? Like the speaker said, we are the change, we either create or conform to something that is not feeding our souls. We all know it’s true but we go through the day surrounded by a host of unhappy people. I feel too many people have felt they had no other choice but to belong to something that they don’t even realize isn’t what they really need. We need society that nourishes the good in us, that promotes opportunities for us to build each other up, to create a social fabric that weaves everyone into the cloth. A quilt of all the diversity of life. We know that ancient rainforests have many types of life that creates stability, resilience. If one tree is attacked, the neighboring trees can lend assistance through the root system. We need those community roots. What we have now is individual trees planted on vast plains of isolation! Not good for forest survival, and likewise not good for us as humans. It takes more than a smile, a hug, a nod of approval, letting someone go first, or seeing all people as our brothers and sisters. But that is the mindset that can give us the strength to reinvent society based on a human cooperation model. I feel sustainable living in a collection of communities would be a good start. Give the beuracrats (sic), the vision to remove the obstacles, rules, that prevent us from changing our society. Convince the wealthy elites that they can be part of the solution too. Stop all class, race, political divides. Don’t blame anyone for where we are as a society. That like telling a story from one perspective and insisting that someone else sees it the same way. As people we all have ideas that can create the comfortable social conditions. And yes, I agree we have to be willing to be fearless instead of fearful. To risk looking silly or making mistakes or questioning either inside our own conscience or questioning others in a questioning way. Not to try to change another person’s mind through force, but by giving others the food for thought they need to grow in understanding. Because I agree, the more we understand others, the more misconceptions we can remove from our own thinking and the more refined we become in pursuing the changes we need. Long winded comment. But hopefully not a lot of hot air!
Beautiful thoughts. Beautiful mind. Beautiful soul you are, T Nord! 💕🌻🌷💕 Thanks!!
Beautifully put. It reads my mind. Thanks for posting.
😃 thank you.
So what are you doing to change things?
Most of them have severe mental illness and there families won't take them, because they have drug addictions!!!
You can easily see that he has a lot more to say than the English language can offer him. Not necessarily in the messages he's conveying but in how he would express himself (we would say something like how he would decorate the words in my native language)
Did anyone else observe that he looks like Albert Einstein?
Came to the comments looking for this! He reminds me so much of Einstein!
I thought the same thing too!
I thought he looks more like Michael Winner 😂
Yes !
they might be related, did what he talked about interested you at all? he’s a genius! very insightful
It is just amazing. He managed to cover all the questions that I ve been asking myself. Wow
What a beautiful conversation. It felt like he read my mind and told me exactly what I wanted to hear.
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your wise words and efforts to make this world become a more tolerant and better one. I really appreciate your caring, human and inspiring words.
Yeah, a relationship is learning the other's language.
What he says is to relevant, society complains about my generation nowadays.
He's right in his suggestions and analysis, would love to take a class with him.
I love this setting. I love how comfy and relaxed it is.
This is related to the art of being a couple. Listen to each other and discover the memories of others. Discover what goes on in other peoples heads. Men do not talk very well to women.
Reinvent the way we talk. Practice by talking to strangers with the most difficult subjects. Then when you have practiced this skill and have overcome the fear you have of talking to your mate
I would say that for me the most difficult thing it's not having a relationship, but starting one
my god,he really has a pioneers spirit! Im inspired :)
Yes I am One of those women who no longer are willing to shut up. In admitting to that I also admit to craving conversation that is meaningful between people of diverse backgrounds. I think that we no longer ask challenging or relevant questions of people in our lives and never of strangers. It is not acceptable without permission. There is no protocol for that kind of conversation without establishing some kind of trust or agreement.
Exactly!
THANK YOU THEODORE !
He said very good tips on how to overcome fear
Excellent points.
Great talk with really great ideas. I would definitely search more about him and his work. I feel like I can learn a lot more from him.
The title lacks accuracy, the person who chose it watched only the first 30 seconds of the video.
I love this idea I think you’re an amazing person thank you very much for your brilliant ideas, wow, thank you
You can only truly know yourself through others♡
This title is misleading but a great topic & important to start rethinking our humanity.
Since i have discovered God , i felt really free. Free from fear, overall. God made me a better listener and give more attention to others,have real interest in listening and helping others. Less egoist. More empathic. Made me concentrate on the needs of others without losing myself. God is love and puts balance in everything ,making things right.
Loved his chair! It was like a professor doing the Ronnie Corbett story bit
We need to help each other find their passion that will make work more meaningful in life.
Wonderful talk, thank you, I love this, yes fear,is a disabler.
A great reminder. Thank you. 😊
Wise words. Einstein is speaking through this beautiful soul.
“He didn’t mention anything about being a couple.” Yes, he did- do you think it’s possible that if that’s what a person thinks about this talk, perhaps they don’t know what a “couple” actually is? It is two people who understand these concepts deciding that the other is their favorite person. If someone doesn’t understand that these means of communication are *essential* to human connection, let alone, a romantic one, should they really be looking for a romantic relationship?
talking is important to be a couple but it is not everything. the title is not ok, it could be: do couples really listen to each other? and so on.
Actually, I heard beyond just a couple, but partnership and relationships. Any kind of relationship, whether with family or friends or people who interact with daily. Even a relationship with yourself.
This is true is you are still stuck in your ego. Take up meditation and Yoga, loose your persona and then you won’t have to try at all to understand and have genuine empathy for others. Communication and feelings of compassionate compromise will flow effortlessly.
If you lose your ego, you won't be able to be in communion with others. You need a self to have a relationship with other selves.
@@Josuzaki Self doesn't have anything to do with ego.
What a handsome and wise gentleman! ❤❤❤❤
Yes why people have different perspectives is what this is about
Conjunction: the truest form of human connection, in action.
Conjecture: anticipated conjunction, with great degree of supposition.