How To Stay Married (So Far) #5 : Death and Divorce
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ต.ค. 2024
- With the 2nd January being "Divorce Day" (the day of the year where people make the most enquires about divorce), we're going deep this time and have a no holds barred discussion on that very subject. Join us for a whole series of revelations that took both of us by surprise..
This resonates with my so much , I understand entirely where Mark was coming from . I have massive Insecurities and have battled self doubt and low self esteem all my life. In my marriage this manifested itself as jealous controlling behaviour through an absolute fear of losing her . The cruel irony is by my behaviour I sealed my own fate. I drove her away and created the very scenario I’d been so obsessed with preventing. I’m so glad Nadia was able to have the strength to work through that to the relationship you have today ! Thank you for sharing these podcasts - they are so honest and open !
I like to binge watch your videos when I'm in procrastination mode😁 I like the perspectives you guys bring. I definitely see this in my parents relationship, it's so poisonous and toxic that I wish they would divorce... But they let things like culture and what society would think of them get in the way -_-". My mum is a bit like Nadia, or how Nadia was, always bottling things in and then exploding. She holds grudges and doesn't let go of it. These grudges are 28 years old, starting from the wedding day itself. I guess for any family relationship to work you have to accept how they are deep down or you will never be at peace in the long run.
Thank u for your honesty guys..an absolutely amazing vlog...you both love each other very much thats for sure...despite the past hurts and anger. I think for a relationship to survive there has to be huge amounts of forgiveness and kindness and respect towards each other...and thats so difficult... !! Thank u both again...keep going on together..ye are a great team..a match made in heaven💕
Thank you so much for doing this segment! My husband and I go through very similar things to the two of you and it's wonderful to hear another couple's perspective. I was wondering though, Mark do you find that the major drop in mood doesn't actually happen right on the holiday but a couple of days later? Whenever we are faced with a challenging time or something like Christmas I find the most noticeable change in mood for my husband comes a couple days later. Nadia after all this time are you still surprised by the dip in mood or do you anticipate it? We have been together 17 years and it still catches me off guard. I always react and then realize. Is that how it happens for you too? Even though we have been together so long I still take it personally in the moment and I feel like maybe it's just me (and others can see it coming when it happens to them and deal with it more effectively). I totally get why you wanted to wait to do these intimate segments, the death of a loved one is very all consuming emotionally. I lost my mum and my daughter within a six year span of time and the process of grieving was different for both. It's also very complex when you have children as you are dealing with their grief as well. I think of you all often as I know the pain of this type of loss and I know that in situations like ours it's even more challenging to navigate. I pray 2018 is a wonderful year for all of you! x
Lynne Pierce I’m 15yrs with my husband, and I still get surprised by it. What’s worse is, even in the midst of a low mood, my need to try and help him out of it still takes over and I make things worse. I also still get overwhelmed with fears that I’m causing it. Up until the low mood starts, I’m so knowledgeable and aware of how it’s an illness and not a personal choice, but in the midst of it, my brain just can’t compute and runs off into the storm 🤔
I think there is a lot of projection involved. I know personally I always want every situation / holiday / season to be “perfect” and this hunt for perfection can become very debilitating because of course it’s easy to fall short - and by perfect I mean I would like to be able to be “normal” and “have a drink” etc I think not enough is said of how hard it is for the drinking half of a relationship to have lost their drinking “partner” .... yes Nans death is a biggie - she was an enormously influential matriarch! Much love 🤘
Lynne Pierce I think there is a lot of projection involved. I know personally I always want every situation / holiday / season to be “perfect” and this hunt for perfection can become very debilitating because of course it’s easy to fall short - and by perfect I mean I would like to be able to be “normal” and “have a drink” etc I think not enough is said of how hard it is for the drinking half of a relationship to have lost their drinking “partner” .... yes Nans death is a biggie - she was an enormously influential matriarch! Much love 🤘
steeleeuk I completely understand! That is much the way it happens for me as well. I can reason and rationalize it when it's calm but when someone is lost in their own pain and they have sharp edges it's hard to be objective!
Nadia that sounds so familiar! Sometimes I wonder if maybe women like us are just meant for men like ours because as crazy as we can be at times the fight in us is strong where it really matters most (especially in the moments we have to fight for them because they feel they have no fight left!) ;)
Open and candid! An eye opener for me.
Sun Flower a bit of an eye opener for us too! Thanks for listening 👍
You’re both very intelligent and articulate!
Natalya Roberts ah bless you - we aren’t the rest of the time ! 🤣
You guys are amazing. All couples should be this honest.
Great podcast as always 💛 ! ! Thank you for sharing your experiences to help others .... I just love how you both are so open and honest about the hard times... life can be so bloody tough and nothing good comes easy .. learning so much from you both 😘xxx
Nadia and Kaye awwww I’m so glad !!! I knew you would 😘 x
You 2 are a blessing 2 each other.............and 2 us!!!!!!!♡☆♡☆♡♡♡♡♡☆♡♡♡♡🌠🌟🌠🌟🌠🌟🌠✨🌟🌟✨✨✨🌟🌟🌟
Susie Salter you’re too kind! 😊
Love it! Very relatable!
Mark you are so brave to talk so openly I didn't no your nan personally obviously. But she made me smile so much she was so strong and funny .
I really enjoy these pods because they are so real . The you tubes are so funny and so real but in different ways stay strong you have a lovely family that love you thank you both of you for being just normal 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽love from sue cooper in menorca xxx
I try not to go for the jugular. There are things that can't be taken back. I say my peace. I want to be understood. But I'm conscience of not inflicting pain in the way I argue. That is something I learned as I matured. I love these podcasts and was so far behind that I've been playing catch up by watching them back to back.
Nanny thelma a true legend...........👌👌👌💖💖💖💖💖
Oh this resonates so much with me . My husband will have to watch thus
To be so open and honest with one another and share that with us, Just wow, this is a refreshing couple! I am so hooked, I really hope you are still around in 2023 making videos but I won't look and will get there when the timing is right :D
We are still here 😂
Applaud your transparency. I can’t imagine either of you angry but your both Scorpio’s so I understand lol a lot of passion, can’t live with each other can’t live without each other
So real..........
Where is part 4?
Id missed this....awwww💔💔💔💔
paranoia my x smoked marijuana a lot in a 7 year relationship, still dose today worry about the most stupid things, l will tell you more later how we are not longer together
Just split up whilst you can still be friends. Life is too short. You only stayed together for the kid and now it's time to move on. Mark, she LOVES to make you jealous she drinks it up and then complains about you for getting jealous! She is not taking any blame for flagerently flirting. You should start openly flirting with hot girls, I doubt she would show or admit her jealously but passive aggressively she would spit in your food, or put you down on "Loose Women". Why Mark are you still putting up with constantly being brought up on your old drinking issues when out of the two alcoholics you were the one that quit! I am not sure Nadia did you mean to say if Mark grieves too much that your marriage will not survive? Otherwise why bring that up? Using the threat of divorce like a whip is like saying "my way or the highway" and if that is the case why bother to do podcasts that make it seem that communication is the key to a good marriage when you have only been married so far because you're whipped.
I see Nadia constantly manipulating Mark by knocking the shit out of his self esteem and constantly bring up his "issues" while her issues are almost never even discussed. Here's a secret Mark she is terrified you will leave her for a younger more beautiful woman so you have to have virtually no self esteem left so you won't leave her, and that is HER self esteem "issue". You are a "hotty" Mark, and you're kind and a whole lot of good things (and she knows it). Why is Mark doing all the changing, and being run down about his issues but whenever there is even a slight hint that Nadia has an issue she gets loud and laughs and detracts and then twists it around to blame Mark, or the video abruptly ends. Abandonment issues aside Mark they are much much easier to handle when you are the one doing the leaving. Just saying. You two can find someone who makes you happy or just find you are happily single and just be friends.
Seriously you should really get divorced A.S.A.P. Life is too short to just be tolerating someone who annoys the hell out of you! Nadia will NEVER let Mark forget he HAD severe drinking issues (as does she). How can he seriously talk or have a fair battle when she goes on her show and blabs about him and his "issues"! He does all the changing... OMG he gets jealous! (because she flirts all the time) how terrible he is! Mark, she LOVES to make you jealous,she drinks it up, a lot of women are like that ( and some men). I am certain if he flirted with every young thing she would be bitching about that too! If he even hints that she may be at fault at something she gets loud, laughs hysterically, diverts and twists it around to blame him?! And if it not blaming him for how annoying he is it is for his past. She can drink, flirt and party so she doesn't have to give up any of her demons, if she did she would be more depressed I am sure. Often people fall in love with the fun part of an alcoholic and when they sober up they lose the fun-a-holic they had and find they don't love this boring depressed sober decent person. I bet Nadia would find another swinging fun guy, blame him and put him down until he changed and then nag him to death for the rest of his days instead of fixing herself. It is always Mark quit drinking, Mark get counselling, Mark be more affectionate, Mark see how bad you are, how intolerable you are... Mark is very handsome, kind , talented, hardworking, and a good dad from what I can tell, he is like a democrat backs down way to easily from the loud borish republicans! Nadia is fun loving, personable caring and a good mom... but these two should just move on and be friends now, the kids are old enough... teach your kids life is too short to make do and be insufferable together, you can find happiness with someone who will love who you are now without holding the past over your head, or happiness in just being single. Probably, now that you quit drinking Mark if you get into a healthier space you could be fine even without meds.!!! You don't have to bend over backwards anymore. Abandonment issues are much easier to deal with when you are the one doing the leaving. Stop holding the threat of divorce as a whip to make him obedient and grinning when you realize you fucking hurt his feelings. True you are just married because you got knocked up, so leave now. She is playing on and exasperating your insecurities Mark, she feeds on it.
Mark you should start flirting and smooching with other women, she would be jealous and you can hate her for getting jealous, or she really doesn't care at all about you. It is wrong to flagrantly flirt because you like to get the thrill of making your partner jealous and then complain about his jealousy! Jeesh some girls. I am not sure but Nadia was that a cue that because Mark is grieving that that may be THE issue that could contribute to your divorce, I mean to say like " don't be grieving too much or else? Otherwise why bring it up?