How To Stay Married (So Far) #6 : Is Your Partner Affectionate Enough?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ม.ค. 2018
- We're going deep this week on the subject of affection in relationships. How important do we think it is in relationships? Why does one of us tend to hold back more out of the fear of rejection and how has the amount or lack of affection we felt from our parents as children affected us?
As always we would so love to hear your comments so feel free to leave them on our TH-cam video ( • How To Stay Married (S... ) or our blog (howtostaymarriedpodcast.com/p...)
You could talk for hours, I’d still listen. Your relationship sounds very much like mine so I find it extremely helpful. Love you guys xx
Nadia and Kaye It really is. And thank you both for sharing your life with us. I wonder how you would deal with it if Mark started drinking again, like my husband has? Sober for 10 years previously x
Love the podcast. I was surprised that Nadia said she doesn't like being hugged if she's crying. I get deeply upset that my husband doesn't hug me or try to comfort me when I'm crying. He's generally an affectionate person but not if I'm crying, even if it's because I'm in a lot of physical pain. I put it down to the fact that he doesn't like anyone to 'fuss over him' if he's in pain, ill etc and so doesn't understand that someone else would want that fuss made of them.
My partner isn’t affectionate at all he used to be when we first got to together but I’m so hurt now by the way he doesn’t care no more xx
I'm not in a relationship but I'm learning loads 🤗
These sessions are utterly fantastic. So honest and insightful. I completely agree with Izzy; the past episodes have been a little “surface”. Loving the more in-depth and reflective nature of the conversation. Keep up the great work!
I usually can't be bothered with long episodes but in this case I certainly have to agree with Izzy!
Thanks to Izzy for her input because a 40 min podcast of you guys ... great 🙌🏽🙌🏽! It’s comforting mark admitting he has body dysmorphia and thinks he’s hideous because i don’t think enough men admit to these type of problems. Your whole podcasts so far are just so open and honest it’s a joy to listen to! You two are amazing xxx
Speaking for myself, my husband and I fell into a ritual, and he knew if I was upset or stressed he knew he could push a button and a full scale blow-out argument would follow. One day he knew I was tense while I was doing the dishes and out of the blue he just came up behind me and unexpectedly gave me a tight hug as apposed to pushing my buttons, it was just what I needed I felt loved and cared for I broke down in tears, a hug not a fight, we did a different dance and it was good. Just do it.
That is just lovely
When the topic of conversation is so engaging and interesting of which most people can relate to, 20 mins is definitely not long enough. These are conversations that could go long into the night if you were sitting around your dinner table. Thanks for another great video!
Love what you are doing with this channel!
I completely agree with Izzy x great podcast 😀
Love these podcasts!
love how honest you both are, and how you both literally speak about the real world !
I’m 22 and single currently but I’m sure I’m learning a lot for future relationships :)
I’m a fan, there I said it. It’s hugely refreshing to hear discussions like this, because it makes me feel like my relationship is normal, like yours. My boyfriend is the bee’s knees but the two of us are so awkward even after five years today together. We have our reasons but I push for it more, he’s so quiet but he’s always receptive. I love it. Anyway great podcast, made me feel like everything’s worth it and yeah it’s true, relationships needed worked on. Always.
I love the transparency between the two of you. I believe that most things such as affection, sex, understanding etc...is a decision. Which is also coupled with the how you(people in general) were raised. We obviously can learn and/or adapt, but it's still a conscious decision nonetheless in my opinion.
Love these podcasts. Yes longer episodes are great. Very helpful for understanding areas I need to work on in my own relationship!
Hope it's being helpful to you both and not causing issues. I do worry about that! Xxxx
Yes never feel you have to cut it short - I think speak for as long as you want and tell the whole story. You two are so honest and interesting to listen to and I appreciate you so much. Thank you for your podcasts and lots of love from me to you! Xxx
Nadia and Mark, I enjoy your podcasts enormously and find them food for thought. I do, however, sometimes cringe when Nadia is so hard on Mark. Nadia is bubbly and great fun, but sometimes feels the need to belittle Mark, as I see it. Fascinating stuff. Izzy's obviously a very insightful young lady. Thanks
It’s good that you take Izzy’s advice and like she said go into the story more maybe go bk into the podcasts and extend on the stories already been told xx
More couples should be like you two.... Being truthful, honest, and open is so rare now... I'm 33 and don't have friends in my life who are open like this.. In my relationship I'm the open one but sometimes it comes across as me being the shit starter!!!! And because of that I'm now not as affectionate as I once was. For years it was me to make the first more.. Now I'm over it... What should I do about it????
I’m glad it’s not just me xx
Yes definitely talk for hours it’s never enough and sometimes way shorter than I’d like it to be. Love love you both and your honesty.
Really good videos guys! Really helps 🙏
Hi Nadia & Mark. I've watched Kaye & Nadia vids before but today discovered your podcasts. I'm a single 27 year old but I found listening to this helpful regarding taking the initiative with affection with friends & family and specifically relevant to a situation with my best friend recently.
We are such close friends (me and my bestie) but recently she was very honest with me saying she sometimes feels like she mostly initiates things like asking how I am. I have had CFS/ME for 4 years. It's been a nightmare but she's stuck by my consistently. Unfortunately she doesn't live locally but makes effort to come visit me regularly. So our main source of contact is phone calls/whatsapp.
When I finished listening to this podcast I immediately found a Gif of a hug & sent it to her via WhatsApp saying "I love you ❤️❤️❤️"
We can show affection in so many forms. It struck a chord with me when Nadia said "sometimes I feel a bit weary of initiating" & I thought maybe that's how my friend feels sometimes.
Hope this makes sense! Xxx
I always enjoy your talks - very interesting - thanks x
Your very honest and that is refreshing. I'm your age with kids similar age. I'm English living in FL 28 years missing British people. I have listened to you on here through many vlogs
Izzy is truly her fathers daughter!!!☆☆☆☆....this is amazing...isend 2 my daughter....her relationship alsoxxcan i say because of you 2....and i truly mean this....you have gave me faith...and made me a more supportive mother.......opened my mind....Thankyou bothxxx.....affectionate love all the way....everyone needs.....LOVE........your family r sooooo blessed love understanding humour........love this.....make them 4 has long has you 2 are comfortable talking..........gr8 viewing...the best!!!♡☆♡☆☆♡☆♡☆♡♡☆♡♡♡☆♡
Thank Izzy for her input. Love the longer podcast always thought they were to short...i could listen to y'all for hours. Thank you both for these makes me think about how i can improve in my 22 year marriage. We are both pretty affectionate, but we both do that thing also "if i don't approach you, you wouldn't do it". Crazy though cus we always hold hand hug and kiss he just needs reassurance all the time. Is it a man thing? I was in tear when Mark hugged you Nadia.
Hi! Thanks for these videos-- wondered if you've heard about the 'Love Languages' ? There's books related to these-- they cover aspects of relationships that we find helpful to communicate love for each other-(words of affirmation, acts of kindness etc... ) interesting!
Me and my partner relate a lot to you guys!!! Been together 22 years (same sex couple)
Love watching these podcasts. Thought provoking. Affection I think has a lot to do with daring to be vulnerable with one another. Has anyone heard of Brene Brown she’s written a book about being vulnerable and daring greatly. It’s fantastic.
Absolutely love you guys.xx
Before I start can I say you are both fantastic. I am in a same sex marriage to my husband and we can only really show affection in our house or at Gay venues! Straight people are so lucky that you can walk hand in hand down the street and show affection in public. Don’t get me wrong we could do the same but the looks and abuse we would get wouldn’t be nice.
Love the new podcast, great length as well! I remember a while ago reading 'The Five Languages of Love' which are: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. From what I can remember different people value some of these more than others or are better at showing their love through different means. Thankfully in my relationship we are pretty matched on the physical touch and gift giving areas but I'm definitely more vocal about my feelings which can sometimes be frustrating. Then again, I probably fall down on a few of them so we're probably evens ;) x
You are both adorable!!
I enjoy these podcasts and im glad you have made them longer, you were saying about how men dont watch/listen, but my fiance will know ive watched them and he will ask what the subject was and it just opens up conversations whether they are problems we have or not, i am grateful you are so honest about things, however in this particular podcast there was a lot of repetition, so overall i have always thought longer podcast would be better but I would prefer a shorter podcast with higher quality content rather than the repetition in this one 😊
Intimacy on all levels, without intimacy there's nothing. After 15yrs we've given up basically.
Ahh mine is only 3 yrs and I’m giving up xx
You come across as very loving couple, my mum was just like yours Nadia, I feel over affection because my husband is not,he does not like holding my hand in public,also I feel I talk too much😂 and he doesn’t 🤣xxx
How does that make you feel not getting any affection from your husband does he still instigate sex? My partner doesn’t instigate anything with me and I’m feeling very rejected by him xxx
All through that video I wanted Mark to give you a kiss or touch your cheek and towards the end I was willing Mark to hug to you and when he did it made me cry - in a good way. I love you two and everything about you and your family. I think it’s great that you can be so honest with each other and are prepared to keep working at your relationship xx
You two are couple goals 😍 and mark is my guilty pleasure 😏😀😂
EXCELLENT 😃
SO good! How are we going to get men into properly thinking about and acknowledging this sort of thing? :/. Is it seen as being in touch with your feminine side? Maybe it’d be helpful to do a podcast with say all men talking, as this would give real insight- could Mark do one with Kaye’s partner? Xx
I'm affectionate but I'm sometimes I'm afraid to be because even friends push me away so I don't even hug them much now
I've always kind of felt it annoying to see the tisues in a counselling session as I feel it' s kind of saying I should be wiping the tears away as if its not aloud..I know thats not what is intended..but that always goes through my mind!
Your are doing the public us people.....hope...greater understanding of life...relationships.....our minds.....oh mark i didnt know your childhood was lacking........iknew your dad wasnt around....but did your mum also have issues????drink????.......i call her nanny di........we really do just asume dont we..........book book book pleasexx📖📖📖📖📚📚📚💜💜👌👌
Hi guys. As we know Mark had children from previous relationship. Step parenting can be challenging. Exes being involved etc. Can you guys do a podcast on the challenges you faced and how it works or doesn't!!! Did having children of your own make things better. Thanks
please do!! I too really really wanna hear about this nads!! xx
Nadia and Kaye thank you...struggling with this and the emotions that comes with it. we also got engaged after 3 months and married within the year. And after marriage starts the "blended family". No children of our own yet..
My partner isn’t affectionate he was when we first got together and 3 yrs down the line he doesn’t show any affection and he uses loses his mum at age 10 as an excuse because he didn’t get the affection from the person he could have learned it from xx
affection isnt only touching, holding hands, to me. its making that coffee in the morning, or thinking of the partner 1st. i love affection tho, as a guy. it doesnt mean yes here comes sex.
Are you affectionate with your children? Do you find it easier to be affectionate with your children than each other?
I'm gay man. Single. But alot is resonating with me. Taking tips for my next r.ship
Affection for me is just seeing them smile or making them laugh, when I randomly make an idiot off myself no reason. If am I that funny happy way
"We're not saying you're not affectionate, but you're not affectionate." You guys are just over thinking things.
one point to say is that please could u both be in one screen and sit beside or across from each other. this looks too much like its on FaceTime i would like to see use engage with one another so we can engage with use too
Nadia is fantastic presenter and is so good at her job. Mark should never cut his hair at the back. Mark always look at the camera. Nadia does not.