I was a rebound twice and I can confirm that those signs are very common. Unfortunately, the first time I didn't escape and it costed me my inner peace, self-esteem and confidence. If you find yourself in a rebound relationship, don't be afraid to leave inmediately. I know it's hard to leave when the girl is hot or you don't want to be alone, but the pain you'll pay for a moment of pleasure doesn't worth it and eventually they'll drop you and you'll be alone anyways. There are a lot of good people in the world that will give you the value you deserve, don't stay with those that treat anothers as new toys.
That's actually false. There is no good people in this world, except God. As for those women who give you the value you deserve, you CAN treat those that treat others as new toys. Just kindly and honestly reject them and move on.
I was a rebound but had a kid with her still with her but she was still messing around with him hurts me a lot too think about it I honestly don't believe there are good people out there this happen too me in the only 2 relationships I've been in in my hole life and I'm 25 lol
I was in a relationship for 6 months with an ex. We broke up on good terms and a few months later I saw her at a party with mutual friends. She drunkenly confessed to me that the whole time she was with me, she was still in love with a guy she used to know back in her college days and that she was still in love with him. She never even dated this guy- he was just the one she could never have. Even though ending our relationship was the right thing to do, it still really hurt to hear that. You deserve better than being someone’s second choice! Don’t be the consolation prize!
All women have one guy stuck in their heads for the rest of their life. If you're not that dude, don't ever get emotionally involved with her, if you do, she'll make your life a living hell. Also, find out if she was dumped. Makes a big difference. If she was, she'll still have a lot of pent up anger & resentment towards all men & she'll only take out all her hatefulness on you.
I was the rebound guy , but I knew it within the first 2 weeks of our relationship and even commented on it , which of course was just fluffed off . Many of your signs were very accurate , yet knowing the situation I was in , made sure not to get too emotionally invested . So after a year when she inevitably dump me , I was fine . Sure your pride takes a little bit of a hit , but what I felt most was disappointment and pity for her because I knew she missed out on a great guy who really did care for her . Yes , after a respectable amount of time she did get back together officially with her ex , it lasted less than a week , then she had the nerve to try and cry on my shoulder for support . Lets just say it didn`t go well for her , but I did learn just how little respect she did have for me , so I guess I dodged a bullet there .
My story was different. She pop up in social media one day chat on me,,,while still having a boyfriend,,we chat. We create bond she dump the guy for me,,,that time i was naive didnt know that was wrong. Guess what she done that same thing to me lol
@Dee i can relate to you since we've been over two years,,,im good to her friend but when she cheated on me her friends blame me lol,,,,,,,why its always a guy fault anyway,,,,now i keep distance to thrash people in my life and it make me more happier
So relatable and it’s astonishing how many people out there use other individuals to fill a void. I had this happened to me and deep down I think I knew I was the rebound but throughout a whole year he did all the right things to make me fall in love. After the year he decided I was just a rebound and even told me he cannot love me. Being the rebound hurts but as you said they missed out on a great person.
However i know that i tried. I know that i am a great guy and a great boyfriend. I would go to her place and ask her on random dates, bring her flowers which would make her cry of happiness, even though there were days we couldnt see each other, i would randomly call her and tell her i loved her, and at night i made sure that i call her to hear about her day, which would fill the fact that we didnt see each other. I would always call her pretty and compliment her, and when we would fight i would go to her place and solve it face to face. And i know her ex did not do any of those because she even told me that it was the first time someone has ever done that for her.
I was in a rebound relationship. We started dating in July and in October I told her I thought it was a rebound and it was okay. She denied it. In march she said she had to be alone and ended it. I thought in the beginning that I could make anyone like me. Never again will I get emotionally attached to someone who was not emotionally available.
I was in a relationship for 9 months. Come to find out she kept photos and telephone numbers, not only of her ex but guys she hooked up with. This opened my eyes, never again. Thank you for your insight.
I once dated a girl on the rebound. She never stopped talking bad about her ex. It was really strange since all three of us went to the same small college, and he lived in the same dorm / hall as me. I will never be that desperate for a girl again. I learned the importance of confidence the hard way. Being with her was hell on earth, she had extreme issues ( Majored in counseling by the way ), along with her gaslighting, enough said.
We live in a university town, I learned when I was 10 years old psych majors are the most commonly fucked up out there. Then I met hundreds of people who reassured that. Of course, it’s not *always* like that. But most people seemingly are in there to try and learn how to either justify or cope with their own serious mental/emotional problems and then try and help others do the same after or during.
@@jessehowell1972 its actually pretty common. Be wary around "counselors" especially the young(20-30 yr old) ones. 100% chance they've inflicted or received serious emotional damage at some point growing up. Possibly both.
I dated two girls that used me as a rebound and my heart literally hurts. It’s the absolute worst feeling I’ve ever experienced. I never want to date again. Definitely the most depressing thing I’ve felt in a while
I've been single for 2 years and I'm not stalking her or texting her or anything but I do still bring her up whenever I'm giving dating advice to my friends. I'm not hung up on her...at least I don't believe I am🤔, she just taught me a lot of toxic/hard life lessons.
How to keep on being her rebound is: Keep it light. Don’t try to lock her down. Be the driver of the fun bus. Do not call or text all of the time. Date other women. Do not be available all the time. Do not be clingy. Be mysterious. Do not let her know how much you really like her. Let her wonder. Have other options always.
There are a lot of girls who have what I call a boyfriend depth chart. One guy does something she doesn’t like, and it’s next man up. It’s usually quick too. There’s never a time where they recover from the previous relationship, and next man...is rebound guy. After a while, she drafts a new starting boyfriend.
Awesome content Courtney! I wish I had gotten these tips a long time ago! I was a simp that didn't "SEE" these signs and wasted a lot of my life. GUYS take notes! Courtney is preaching the truth! Don't ruin your life being a rebound!
I dated a girl who had sent me legit 30 screenshots of arguments she had with her ex, also her phone passcode was still her and her ex’s anniversary 2 years after they broke up! You best believe I ran out of that like Usain Bolt
I agree 100%, but I was gas lighted and told I was wrong and insecure and I'm sure a lot of guys have had that narrative thrown upon them for the same thing
Yup. Dated someone nearly a year. From almost the start, she was hesitant, unsure, didn’t want to “label it”, wanted to go with the flow all while saying all these amazing things like “It seems to good to be true”. She got weird 3 months in, disappeared for 2 weeks, came back and said her head was a mess and she was afraid of getting hurt cause she had been hurt by a guy after her marriage (Yes, she was still married as well) She really wanted what we had and Finally she committed after that (but not really). I still didn’t meet any of her friends for 6 months. NEVER met parents (They didn’t know I existed). She never talked about future plans. Was even telling me she loved me for months and then out of the blue….. I Love you, but not in love with you. Can’t jump all in, not sure why 🙄. Not in the right place…. Blah blah blah. After a year? Oh, and yes, she admitted this guy still reached out to her but she ignored him (Sure) Why would someone that hurt you still be allowed to reach out to you? Gents, I ignored all of this, I wanted to be trusting, was in love obviously. I’ve never been a rebound before. So this is on me in the end, great learnings and hope you all do too. Just be careful, women these days are just as selfish as some men. Cheers!
They still talk about them... they still say he never did that. If you are talking to a person and they discuss ex... leave just get up walk away. Say nothing just leave.. you will save yourself
@@Fullcollapse1 once you understand you have to basically get rid of everybody in your life and rebuild. It’s sucks but you become a very strong person. I will warn you.. while it’s hard to deal with what people will say to you and about you once you cut them off. The hard part is once you understand and set firm boundaries in all relationships you start enjoying yourself and the peace of just sitting in the woods not having to worry about anything other than will the hawk swoop down and catch the rabbit. Learn the things you always wanted to do. Do the things you have always wanted to do. I started riding mountain bikes downstairs.. urban downhill. It drive everybody else away from me.. on the plus side I am pretty well known in mountain biking, I’m a sponsored athlete. I changed my life it changes everything about you. You walk different you talk different just stick with it great things will come. You will cry and doubt your decision.. but what you will reach becomes amazing… just stick with it. You will thank yourself later and in 6 to 8 months… you will look back and say fffoooookkkk I was fooking insane like insane insane for putting up with that bs. Don’t look back on it often- you don’t take an ex back you don’t look back on your life.
While I agree with everything on this list, I want to make an exception to the "having your ex as a friend topic" since you said you can't see any value in having your ex as a friend. While this is true in most cases, I can't express enough how important it is to maintain a good relationship with your ex if you have children together. This may not come into play until later in life, but when it does, communication is key. It really improves the life quality for everyone involved if you can maintain a good, healthy friendship with your ex in this case. It's important however to be honest with yourself and be sure that you have moved on before starting a life together with someone new. It is also important to be open and honest with your new significant other about this and the reason behind it. The kids are worth it, they deserve to grow up with parents that can act like adults around each other. Thanks for all the great content! Keep up the good work!
i checkout on the first two but the third part she came over it and we actually started having more physical contact and open conversations but when i asked her to move things forward she agreed at first but then she suddenly asked me what if her ex comes back , that thing just devastated me i couldn't even comprehend it and worst of all it happened the day after she made me feel so special and admitted to having feelings for me . well happiness don't last forever and i learned it the hard way i just loved her so much but maybe it just wasn't meant that way . I thank you very much for helping me move on and making me realize somethings are just not meant to be thank you.
Thanks Courtney, I realised what you’re saying actually happened to me and as you speak, I can feel the weird taste in my mouth. Disappointed, broken all places as I picture her in my head. I was just a REBOUND for her.
Thanks for making me believe in me first throughout the time I've been watching you. I now know my value and will not go for anything that makes me feel uncomfortable, insane or bad in general. I have my eyes wide open, and my needy and poor past with girls will be forgiven (since I've been blaming myself for such actions) and will be focusing on new experiences and opportunities with high value women because I'm a high value man.
Haven't watched this yet but the #1 is she's constantly comparing you to him - and rating you higher - which means she's trying to knock him down because she still needs to justify not being with him. End it. End it fast.
Sometimes women are "over" their ex in a non healthy way. My last serious relationship was like that. Her ex hurt her so so much that she shut off from guys and basically closed her heart to me. It was impossible to get her to love me and after 3 years I said enough (yes too long I know) but it's hard to tell, at least for me, about these things
Last year, I dated a girl that told me she was still friends with her exes. I was okay with it at the beginning. Well two weeks into dating her, she tells me one of them was her "soulmate." In my gut I knew something was wrong but didn't do anything about it. Well fast forward 3 months later, she gets jealous that I was talking with one of my friends, runs off and zoom's her "soulmate." Told me that there is nothing between them, but at that point, my trust is completely broken. She would constantly tell me what he would do for a job, she would show me pictures of him, etc. I felt all along that she still had feelings for him, but again, didn't do anything. To be honest, not putting up for this again. She would always talk about not wanting to "waste time" and yet here she was. Thanks for the video Courtney and for helping me feel like I wasn't insane for being suspicious of this. I've spent the last 8 months debating this with myself.
Yes , I was in this exact situation 7 years ago . You described my experience to a tee . Trust me gentlemen you never wanna be a woman's rebound . Courtney speaks the truth here !
I had a friend do this to me...kind of. We were friends but it became romantic a while after she separated from her Ex as I was supportive due to him *allegedly* being abusive to her. Eventually got a text saying “I’m going back to my ex”. Then when I tried to text her back I was told not to because ‘he’s in the room now’ and then ghosted. Unfortunately two weeks later a mutual friend told me she was with someone else (not the Ex). I suspect she was ‘Monkey Branching’ this guy beforehand. I think a lot of what she was doing was to provoke the ex - pictures of her with someone else on Facebook and that kind of thing. The guy was making sexual comments on her photos. “It’s complicated” as a relationship status... A few red flags that you’ve said in this video happened at the time. She told me ‘he’s with someone else’ and then told me that she’d changed her hair colour because ‘he likes it’ etc...after literally telling me she wanted ‘nothing to do with him’ in the same conversation. It is difficult when you really like someone because you don’t want that to be true, but my advice is don’t ignore those red flags and alarm bells that go off in your head. They happen for a reason.
These signs are all super obvious if you're willing to open your eyes. I've been there. Trust your gut. Don't ignore this stuff thinking you won't find another girl.
Excellent words of wisdom Courtney. One of the biggest mistakes i used to make when talking to girls was talking about past relationships. Guys should never do that. Don't ask about exs. Even worse if you date a single mother, it's definitely gonna come up about the woman ex. Some things are better left unsaid and not done.
Yep, don't talk about it. Keep it light and breezy in initial dating. If she starts asking you about exes it's probably a good sign. Keep quiet and see if SHE brings it up and then say you'll tell her if she tells you about her exes first! Nothing comes for free!
@@jleano609 amen to that! Thanks for the excellent advice. I will definitely keep it in mind for future interactions with women. You definitely know your stuff 😁👍🏼
But what do you do, then, when a girl asks you why you got divorced or what was your longest relationship, and why didn't it work out? In my case, especially since my disastrous marriage only lasted one year, I want to make sure a woman knows that it ended because her drinking got out of control and led to some unacceptable behaviors
@@jleano609 I've done that, and she's more than happy to tell me about why her relationships (especially if she was actually married) failed. It's usually been a healthy discussion that in many ways bonded us, so I'm not sure it's necessarily a bad thing. Also, it can enlighten you early on as to your potential compatibility
There is one reason someone should talk to their ex. They have a child, or children together, and these conversations have everything to do with co-parenting, and the kid(s).
Not every girl straightens up and flies right from the get go. Especially the younger ones with not too much dating experience. Even if talk of Ex's is minimal during the initial dating phase (and especially if its not) IF you are thinking of actually GFing this girl up then lay out your expectations. If you want me as a BF we're now exclusive, no talking to Exs, rebuff them if they sniff around, dump their social media etc. etc. I'll do the same for you. Very few people actually have this conversation and actually make explicit BF/GF commitments - but they should. Set your boundaries early and enforce them!
I've been hanging out with someone that went through a difficult divorce. We go out dancing on the weekends, generally have good chemistry together, she told me that the timing isn't right for her right now. She still wants to go out and have fun. I had to leave her behind as it was affecting me possibly meeting someone when I do go out. Have some self respect, brothers and leave it behind.
Yup totally agree some can be very sneaky about it. Girl I was dating kept seeing him while we were dating for a short while. After a short while of trying to talk about it I dropped her out of my life way to toxic
Courtney --- you mentioned how often to wash denim jeans - try using Woolite Darks - it uses less aggressive chemicals - the jeans will look great for much longer than using the usual laundry detergent
I've been dating for a month a girl with whom I decided to totally quit things, this video made me realize that she was not over her ex, turns out that things didn't work out between them because he didn't want to really, and she's been doing the same with me this last month
Ex's reminding about themselves only when they are on emotional downfall and they try to boost their self-esteem. In reality they not really care about you so better option will be ignore any kind of pings from them.
I was about to be in a relationship with this girl (by the way I’m Autistic, Never been in a proper relationship before) this girl knew that I like her, but I had a feeling that she never accepted me for being autistic. she did indeed was newly in a relationship with a guy, Like a year later she went back to her ex. To me was very devastated like I could’ve been The one for her. 🥺
Bruh I literally going through same thing fuck I saw her Insta story but sadly I think she went back to his ugly ass boy. But aye I have to focus on myself cause gotta save my 💵 money
I went through all of this among other things and it really hurts to be in this position. These people tend to come on very strong and conform to what they think YOU are attracted to. I'm not stupid so when I put everything together it really reinforced every negative belief about myself I have, especially when I put so much into building the relationship. Not worth it at all.
Great video, lots of good points. I might be an exception, but I am still friends with my ex-wife. Her boyfriend and I are also friends, all three of us talk and get along. Heck, he even asked me in advance before he proposed to her. However, this might just be one of the rare cases. We all have good communication, and the "feelings" of love between my ex and I are that of friendship love.
@@Dasher49225 She did keep her vows. There was no cheating or abuse or anything bad at all on either end. Again, we might be a rare exception to the rules. Before getting married, we were both on the same level of not wanting to have children. Over time, she did change her mind. It is very reasonable too. That is one fundamental that I wouldn't change, however, I would never take that right away from her. Not going to say it was easy emotionally, but it was the right thing for both of us to do. She now has a daughter with her present fiance.
You're spot on!! Nailed it completely, I couldn't have said it any better myself, I'm currently experiencing this situation, and going thru basically everything you said, which is why I'm here lol
Great advice! Thank you. I had a relationship with someone like this for 2 years. Had our ups and downs but honestly 70% downs. It was my first relationship ever and She had all these characteristics. My gut said “this doesn’t seem right” but when you’re not confident in yourself I feel you’re subconsciously toxic. And that I was.
It seems to me that I and the guys I know recover much quicker and easily get into a serious relationship quicker than the women I know. For me, it's simple.....life is short, and you're only going to be young and attractive once, so why brood about someone for a long time when it can't work out and potentially miss out on someone new who could be much better for you?
I know what it's like to be a rebound and being able to see some of these signs may have helped. To cut a long story short, my ex and I met in 2019 and "got together" in January 2020 (essentially before covid) and were only together until about June that year without having gone out much then given the peak of the pandemic. It was in June when she announced to me over video (if it was even true) that she got engaged to someone else (yes, you read that right, engaged) and pretended we were no longer together even though she was the one to say she liked me first and wrote a letter wishing we would make lots of memories and stuff. That was about a year ago, I'm over it now, but I basically hate her guts for choosing the wrong way to end things when there was a better way.
Well look at this way, you dodged a bullet there if that's the sort of behavior she's capable of. Jeez, I've been cheated on and dumped, but at least she told me right after to my face.
Yep it’s even worse when they monkey branched from relationship to relationship. It’s emotional torture for us being cheated on when we can’t prove it but can feel something is wrong. Way worse than a rebound. I’m still healing 6 months later those scars go deep. Wish there were more women like Courtney I always thought it was bizarre when women keep photos of their exes on social. I delete any trace they ever existed. They become dead to me just like how they treated me when they broke up.
I still heart broken after a month of no contact. She actually said that I was the rebound and it tore my heart to shreds. I really don't know what to do as I am still missing her. It's crazy.
I'm dating a girl who broke up with a girl for 10yrs and she keeps talking about him constantly she knows all his moves and yet they broke up. Thanks Courtney.
Very true all your points Courtney especially point #3 and the worst thing is that I was planning to get serious in my relationship with her and ended up purchasing her engagement ring 😅😅 so she can broke up with me 1 month later after 11 months of dating her. Thanks for your tips
Also if its going at a fast pace. Psychological displacement, fast tracking new partner to exclusivity and continuing as if they've be in a relationship for years. Basically, like a substitute for the void the ex left as they liked the relationship feel aspect. 👍🏻
Rebound relationships are a bit like putting a band-aid on a broken leg. Psychologically you may convince yourself it works, but deep down there's a lot of healing to be done. Happened to one of my best friends. We both came out of 4 year relationships around the same time. I focused on myself and healed. He got into 3 relationships within 5 months. Ironically he's a psychologist, but rather than looking inward, he continued to seek external gratification. Luckily, I managed to get through to him eventually and he's growing from it.
My now-ex was like this. He cheated on her after years together, and she didn’t take adequate time to process it before she started dating again. I don’t even know if she realizes she was doing these things. I don’t think she missed him per se, but rather the life she imagined she had and would have. She can’t be all in if one foot is still in the past.
I am going through a similar situation right now, and even though I am not invested too much emotionally with her, but just by spending time and having sex, it gets to you. Just one day, we had a blast of fun things together, the next day, she is broken and thinks of him- wondering whats he up to, she feels guilty of moving to fast etc.. Today, I am ending this for good. Giving her space to heal and her shit while I focus on myself and other more important things in mylife. #dontwastetime #dontignoretheredflags
Very often when a woman keeps mentioning her past relationship she was the one dumped. So likely feelings still exist. It's up to you to hold your ground at one point and assertively let her know how you really feel about the situation. She is then to establish her priorities. Women do not respond well to ultimatums, so don't. If she is really interested in what you offer she will make the effort, give her time don't just quit, feelings change...just saying.
Two months ago, I met a girl through a mutual friend. She and I instantly hit it off. She had just broken up wit her boyfriend and I had told her not to mention him again. She then started showing interest in me. So it was only natural that I showed interest in her. So we went out one night and then I said to her "Hey I really like you and I want to take you out on a date next Friday". She then told me she not only wasn't interested in me, but that she never will be. So then I blocked her on all social media and her number. Two weeks later she goes back to her ex. I wasted so much time and money on a girl who didn't give a shit about me. But now I know. And I can use this to learn from and move forward with my life.
I really can't stand the one that would complain to me about their boyfriend that she's trying "to fix" and yet she acts happy around him after she unloads her emotions on him and expects me to support her emotions. Yet she would keep taking him back. I know this is a few years back but Im using that emotion to protect myself from getting into that situation again.
Went to hang with this girl and within the first 20 minutes she told me about how “my ex treated me badly in the 5 years we were together”. Knew he was still in the picture since she also said they broke up.
I went on some dates with a women, slept together on the first, she talked about her ex CONSTANTLY. Luckily I’ve learned a lot, told her straight up she was not over him and she was upset with me. We stayed in touch, few months later, she was back with the ex and has since moved back in. She FULLY ADMITTED I was right. Still friends, she complains at him and it won’t last, BUT proud to say I recognized it and held that boundary 😊
When a dude tells you in front of both you and she lied to your face about it when you just got done having a convo about forgiveness for sketchy behavior and potential cheating for the sake of the relationship to evolve beyond where it was ...then she gos and says he only said that because she refused to give it up to the other dude ....aint that some shit i find it mind numbing how i was thought to be so naive...crazy as ot is though she got hit in a crosswalk and well ... I'm holding off on moving on because I genuinely care and have love for this woman. Despite her shame and deceptions i want to show her im not like every other man that treated her like a piece of meat. But if its over its over.
My wife used to accept compliments from her ex while we were going out (he was a married man by the way). Not only that but she invited him to our wedding. I found out about this after marrying her.
Me and my ex was still having sex while she was with her current so called boyfriend that she suppose to be in love with.Doesnt make sense to me at all!
Why do that? You'll miss out on important information if you just skip to certain parts. Plus Courtney videos aren't that long lol😄. Trust me, it makes more sense to watch the whole thing cuz you'll miss something important or ask a question about something she's already answered
Rollo talks about Exes and how they can be particularly problematic in what he calls the “Alpha Widow” complex. There can be that “one that got away” in a girls past that she just can’t get over. Maybe he was the one that gave her the best sex she ever had or in some other way he’s the one who every one after gets compared to. It gets to the point she can no longer pair bond with any other guy after. And of course, the more partners she has had, the more chance she has of being Alpha Widowed, so that’s a good reason to favor girls with low body counts.
Definitely needed this video. Now I think I understand why she's getting kinda cold with me. The girl I'm talking to for about 4 months now told me that she made contact with her ex, so that they can exchange back their stuff they had at their place. About a few days later. She suddenly stopped calling me like how she would usually do, her messages would not seem as excited. Plus she's been posting up sad quotes etc. I really do like this girl but most definitely she still misses her ex.
Courtney, I had a weird situation. I had a GF in Peru and almost moved there. I realized that I couldn't live with her, so I ended the relationship about four years ago. She'd cared for this stray cat that I brought back with me, and he's my BEST BUD; I couldn't ask for a more faithful, loving, and loyal cat! Anyway, she still wanted to talk, so she could see him and know how he's doing. I agreed because, without her, he wouldn't have lived long enough for me to bring him back to the US. It was sort of like divorced parents talking because they have kids. Earlier this summer, she said that she wanted to see Son of Tiger, and I just ignored the request; I didn't talk to her. I must confess that, though we broke up on decent terms, it felt good.
It’s not toxic to go through your partners phone if you suspect that they’re being disloyal. Loyalty is huge in a relationship , especially for men. And if your partner is being private with their phone there’s obviously a reason for that. Phones is a tel tale sign that something is wrong and she is either emotionally cheating or physically cheating. Then they will gaslight you by saying you “broke trust” meanwhile they already broke it long ago when they decided to emotionally cheat. Big red flag
yeah----- I do think being secretive about a phone is a bad sign, had one dude snatch it up super fast when all I was doing was picking it up to move tables, had no plans of opening it up at all. Ended things a bit too late with that dude but, still, learning to see red flags. Oh! But I do think snooping in general is bad, because.... I had my personal diary in my phone, and I didn't care if the BF I had at the time looked through my phone. He read my diary from back from 1 year prior to meeting him, and he got mad I had the hots for a different dude at that time and accused me of cheating. Things simmered down after a while but once ur partner reads through ur private diary from a long time ago without your permission, and then they accuse you of things that didn't happen?? I later found out he was cheating himself.... and I realized him looking through my phone was a way for him to justify his behavior. I was pretty miffed.
My girlfriend was in an abusive relationship before I started dating her and the guy dumped her. Every time I do something wrong she compares me to him even when he did worse. What should I do to address that?
Thank you ! I recently started taking to a woman online back in November and we decided to meet 2 weeks ago and spend a weekend together as we live 8 hrs away. We video chatted every week, flirted even talked about getting intimate and pretty much everything. I couldn't help but feel like we had a connection. We talked out our past early on which was ok ,but later she either kept talking about her diseased ex husband which to an extent ok i get it but then her ex boyfriend after which was weird. When it got to me is the day we met in person and i took her out for dinner. She would just randomly start saying oh when i was with my ex this and that and even going into detail about how she wished he had done things different that she wouldn't go back but still hang out. I just looked away in disbelief and asked are you ok? I said no you keep bringing up your ex which is rude especially when i flew out to see you and get to know you. So we had that conversation and we messed around but when it came to actually having sex she got weird saying she couldn't. I thought at first maybe i was just being a typical guy but need to chill and let it roll off. I realized that im on a date with her not her ex. Especially its wrong how she lead me on and i clearly said i dont just go take flights to see women. I think shes just lonely and wants me around to dump her baggage on me meanwhile her ex comes back around. I started cutting back on talking but gradually and if i see no change then i will just end all contact.
An ex of mine came back after she left me for some other guy. I gave her a chance but all she did was talk about her ex lol How do i handle this? Don’t wanna say anything bc i don’t want to come off as needy
Regarding the photos, I'm for archiving but not for deleting - assuming that relationship was on the whole positive. That person and your experience with them likely helped shape your personality and your expectations and hopes for future relationships. Just because they weren't the right fit doesn't mean you should delete that experience. Just don't look at them - or get into a relationship - until you can go many days without thinking about the ex. Even then, only look once a year or so.
A friend of mine had a meme on Facebook today: "I once dated a girl who spoke so much about her ex that even I ended up missing the dude".
🤣
Daaaamnnn😂😂😂
Lol
I’m dying 😂😂
Hahahaha
I was a rebound twice and I can confirm that those signs are very common. Unfortunately, the first time I didn't escape and it costed me my inner peace, self-esteem and confidence. If you find yourself in a rebound relationship, don't be afraid to leave inmediately. I know it's hard to leave when the girl is hot or you don't want to be alone, but the pain you'll pay for a moment of pleasure doesn't worth it and eventually they'll drop you and you'll be alone anyways. There are a lot of good people in the world that will give you the value you deserve, don't stay with those that treat anothers as new toys.
Damn... This one hits me real good 🙃
That's actually false. There is no good people in this world, except God. As for those women who give you the value you deserve, you CAN treat those that treat others as new toys. Just kindly and honestly reject them and move on.
GIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE LORD JESUS CHRIST NOW
I was a rebound but had a kid with her still with her but she was still messing around with him hurts me a lot too think about it I honestly don't believe there are good people out there this happen too me in the only 2 relationships I've been in in my hole life and I'm 25 lol
@@travisbradley6268The pain will get better my friend, I know it’s hard but you can do it 💪🏻 you deserve better!
I was in a relationship for 6 months with an ex. We broke up on good terms and a few months later I saw her at a party with mutual friends. She drunkenly confessed to me that the whole time she was with me, she was still in love with a guy she used to know back in her college days and that she was still in love with him. She never even dated this guy- he was just the one she could never have. Even though ending our relationship was the right thing to do, it still really hurt to hear that.
You deserve better than being someone’s second choice! Don’t be the consolation prize!
I went threw the same my boy, I dated a inmature women for 6 months and she was still talking to her ex that she hooked up before meeting me.
All women have one guy stuck in their heads for the rest of their life. If you're not that dude, don't ever get emotionally involved with her, if you do, she'll make your life a living hell.
Also, find out if she was dumped. Makes a big difference. If she was, she'll still have a lot of pent up anger & resentment towards all men & she'll only take out all her hatefulness on you.
Aahh the love of her life. No
woman ever forgets that!
Or she tells her parents she’s just having fun with you and she’ll find her good Catholic man later.
That's why we have to develop a "no options" rule after we strengthen from pain. You will know if it's you when it's you, so walk away when it isn't.
This is a good one. There are always transition periods, and you must decide what you want AND if the time is right for it.
Most new relationship candidates are honestly in the rebound stage. This advice is great
I was the rebound guy , but I knew it within the first 2 weeks of our relationship and even commented on it , which of course was just fluffed off . Many of your signs were very accurate , yet knowing the situation I was in , made sure not to get too emotionally invested . So after a year when she inevitably dump me , I was fine . Sure your pride takes a little bit of a hit , but what I felt most was disappointment and pity for her because I knew she missed out on a great guy who really did care for her . Yes , after a respectable amount of time she did get back together officially with her ex , it lasted less than a week , then she had the nerve to try and cry on my shoulder for support . Lets just say it didn`t go well for her , but I did learn just how little respect she did have for me , so I guess I dodged a bullet there .
My story was different. She pop up in social media one day chat on me,,,while still having a boyfriend,,we chat. We create bond she dump the guy for me,,,that time i was naive didnt know that was wrong. Guess what she done that same thing to me lol
@Dee hope ur doing fine now,,,we all deserved good women
@Dee i can relate to you since we've been over two years,,,im good to her friend but when she cheated on me her friends blame me lol,,,,,,,why its always a guy fault anyway,,,,now i keep distance to thrash people in my life and it make me more happier
So relatable and it’s astonishing how many people out there use other individuals to fill a void. I had this happened to me and deep down I think I knew I was the rebound but throughout a whole year he did all the right things to make me fall in love. After the year he decided I was just a rebound and even told me he cannot love me. Being the rebound hurts but as you said they missed out on a great person.
However i know that i tried. I know that i am a great guy and a great boyfriend. I would go to her place and ask her on random dates, bring her flowers which would make her cry of happiness, even though there were days we couldnt see each other, i would randomly call her and tell her i loved her, and at night i made sure that i call her to hear about her day, which would fill the fact that we didnt see each other. I would always call her pretty and compliment her, and when we would fight i would go to her place and solve it face to face. And i know her ex did not do any of those because she even told me that it was the first time someone has ever done that for her.
I was in a rebound relationship. We started dating in July and in October I told her I thought it was a rebound and it was okay. She denied it. In march she said she had to be alone and ended it. I thought in the beginning that I could make anyone like me. Never again will I get emotionally attached to someone who was not emotionally available.
As a rather young guy, I realize I was a rebound, and the many subsequent years of feeling unconfident and lowly make a lot more sense now. Thanks!
I was in a relationship for 9 months. Come to find out she kept photos and telephone numbers, not only of her ex but guys she hooked up with. This opened my eyes, never again. Thank you for your insight.
My ex girlfriend did the same even some pics framed
I once dated a girl on the rebound. She never stopped talking bad about her ex. It was really strange since all three of us went to the same small college, and he lived in the same dorm / hall as me. I will never be that desperate for a girl again. I learned the importance of confidence the hard way.
Being with her was hell on earth, she had extreme issues ( Majored in counseling by the way ), along with her gaslighting, enough said.
that's ironic that she majored in counseling
@@kennykaijage5342 and horrifically terrifying
We live in a university town, I learned when I was 10 years old psych majors are the most commonly fucked up out there. Then I met hundreds of people who reassured that.
Of course, it’s not *always* like that. But most people seemingly are in there to try and learn how to either justify or cope with their own serious mental/emotional problems and then try and help others do the same after or during.
@@jessehowell1972 its actually pretty common. Be wary around "counselors" especially the young(20-30 yr old) ones. 100% chance they've inflicted or received serious emotional damage at some point growing up. Possibly both.
I dated two girls that used me as a rebound and my heart literally hurts. It’s the absolute worst feeling I’ve ever experienced. I never want to date again. Definitely the most depressing thing I’ve felt in a while
I've been single for 2 years and I'm not stalking her or texting her or anything but I do still bring her up whenever I'm giving dating advice to my friends. I'm not hung up on her...at least I don't believe I am🤔, she just taught me a lot of toxic/hard life lessons.
My god, I needed this video eight months ago...😖 it got messy and they’re back together. Don’t ignore the flags...
Much love to y’all.
How to keep on being her rebound is: Keep it light. Don’t try to lock her down. Be the driver of the fun bus. Do not call or text all of the time. Date other women. Do not be available all the time. Do not be clingy. Be mysterious. Do not let her know how much you really like her. Let her wonder. Have other options always.
There are a lot of girls who have what I call a boyfriend depth chart. One guy does something she doesn’t like, and it’s next man up. It’s usually quick too. There’s never a time where they recover from the previous relationship, and next man...is rebound guy. After a while, she drafts a new starting boyfriend.
It's actually not your theory. Search hypergamy in google. It is proven.
Yep, I can relate to this. And it’s usually cold and abrupt like what you both had meant nothing to her. No remorse or empathy.
Facts
Awesome content Courtney! I wish I had gotten these tips a long time ago! I was a simp that didn't "SEE" these signs and wasted a lot of my life. GUYS take notes! Courtney is preaching the truth! Don't ruin your life being a rebound!
Seems like Courtney is feeding us some hard to swallow red pills.
I dated a girl who had sent me legit 30 screenshots of arguments she had with her ex, also her phone passcode was still her and her ex’s anniversary 2 years after they broke up! You best believe I ran out of that like Usain Bolt
I agree 100%, but I was gas lighted and told I was wrong and insecure and I'm sure a lot of guys have had that narrative thrown upon them for the same thing
Nope it's a bunch of bs man.... I had that experience recently and it turns out true. It sucks having invest time then that.
Yup. Dated someone nearly a year. From almost the start, she was hesitant, unsure, didn’t want to “label it”, wanted to go with the flow all while saying all these amazing things like “It seems to good to be true”. She got weird 3 months in, disappeared for 2 weeks, came back and said her head was a mess and she was afraid of getting hurt cause she had been hurt by a guy after her marriage (Yes, she was still married as well) She really wanted what we had and Finally she committed after that (but not really). I still didn’t meet any of her friends for 6 months. NEVER met parents (They didn’t know I existed). She never talked about future plans. Was even telling me she loved me for months and then out of the blue….. I Love you, but not in love with you. Can’t jump all in, not sure why 🙄. Not in the right place…. Blah blah blah. After a year? Oh, and yes, she admitted this guy still reached out to her but she ignored him (Sure) Why would someone that hurt you still be allowed to reach out to you? Gents, I ignored all of this, I wanted to be trusting, was in love obviously. I’ve never been a rebound before. So this is on me in the end, great learnings and hope you all do too. Just be careful, women these days are just as selfish as some men. Cheers!
They still talk about them... they still say he never did that. If you are talking to a person and they discuss ex... leave just get up walk away. Say nothing just leave.. you will save yourself
👏🏼
I'm afraid you are right not worth messing up my head for. As someone who started pulling their life together I don't wanna go back
@@Fullcollapse1 once you understand you have to basically get rid of everybody in your life and rebuild. It’s sucks but you become a very strong person. I will warn you.. while it’s hard to deal with what people will say to you and about you once you cut them off. The hard part is once you understand and set firm boundaries in all relationships you start enjoying yourself and the peace of just sitting in the woods not having to worry about anything other than will the hawk swoop down and catch the rabbit.
Learn the things you always wanted to do. Do the things you have always wanted to do. I started riding mountain bikes downstairs.. urban downhill. It drive everybody else away from me.. on the plus side I am pretty well known in mountain biking, I’m a sponsored athlete. I changed my life it changes everything about you. You walk different you talk different just stick with it great things will come. You will cry and doubt your decision.. but what you will reach becomes amazing… just stick with it. You will thank yourself later and in 6 to 8 months… you will look back and say fffoooookkkk I was fooking insane like insane insane for putting up with that bs. Don’t look back on it often- you don’t take an ex back you don’t look back on your life.
While I agree with everything on this list, I want to make an exception to the "having your ex as a friend topic" since you said you can't see any value in having your ex as a friend. While this is true in most cases, I can't express enough how important it is to maintain a good relationship with your ex if you have children together. This may not come into play until later in life, but when it does, communication is key. It really improves the life quality for everyone involved if you can maintain a good, healthy friendship with your ex in this case. It's important however to be honest with yourself and be sure that you have moved on before starting a life together with someone new. It is also important to be open and honest with your new significant other about this and the reason behind it. The kids are worth it, they deserve to grow up with parents that can act like adults around each other. Thanks for all the great content! Keep up the good work!
i checkout on the first two but the third part she came over it and we actually started having more physical contact and open conversations but when i asked her to move things forward she agreed at first but then she suddenly asked me what if her ex comes back , that thing just devastated me i couldn't even comprehend it and worst of all it happened the day after she made me feel so special and admitted to having feelings for me . well happiness don't last forever and i learned it the hard way i just loved her so much but maybe it just wasn't meant that way . I thank you very much for helping me move on and making me realize somethings are just not meant to be thank you.
Thanks Courtney, I realised what you’re saying actually happened to me and as you speak, I can feel the weird taste in my mouth. Disappointed, broken all places as I picture her in my head. I was just a REBOUND for her.
Thanks for making me believe in me first throughout the time I've been watching you. I now know my value and will not go for anything that makes me feel uncomfortable, insane or bad in general. I have my eyes wide open, and my needy and poor past with girls will be forgiven (since I've been blaming myself for such actions) and will be focusing on new experiences and opportunities with high value women because I'm a high value man.
❤️❤️🥰🥰 proud of you
If all girls were like u Courtney we would be living in a better world for real 🌹❤
Definitely!!
I'd go a bit farther: imagine being the kind of guy that a Courtney would go crazy for. That's the goal!
My ex was a Courtney... RUN!!!
YEAH, SHE'S LIKE A WELL BALANCED MEAL, THE WHOLE PACKAGE, HEALTHY MINDSET
Wow 🤩 you guys I only read about haha thirty lmao 😂 I’m only messing around it’s cool if y’all thirty
My highschool ex from 10 years ago still has photos of us together on her Facebook and she has a bf and two kids now
Haven't watched this yet but the #1 is she's constantly comparing you to him - and rating you higher - which means she's trying to knock him down because she still needs to justify not being with him. End it. End it fast.
Sometimes women are "over" their ex in a non healthy way. My last serious relationship was like that. Her ex hurt her so so much that she shut off from guys and basically closed her heart to me. It was impossible to get her to love me and after 3 years I said enough (yes too long I know) but it's hard to tell, at least for me, about these things
Last year, I dated a girl that told me she was still friends with her exes. I was okay with it at the beginning. Well two weeks into dating her, she tells me one of them was her "soulmate." In my gut I knew something was wrong but didn't do anything about it. Well fast forward 3 months later, she gets jealous that I was talking with one of my friends, runs off and zoom's her "soulmate." Told me that there is nothing between them, but at that point, my trust is completely broken. She would constantly tell me what he would do for a job, she would show me pictures of him, etc. I felt all along that she still had feelings for him, but again, didn't do anything. To be honest, not putting up for this again. She would always talk about not wanting to "waste time" and yet here she was.
Thanks for the video Courtney and for helping me feel like I wasn't insane for being suspicious of this. I've spent the last 8 months debating this with myself.
Did u broke up completely ? U need that bro
Yes , I was in this exact situation 7 years ago . You described my experience to a tee . Trust me gentlemen you never wanna be a woman's rebound . Courtney speaks the truth here !
Well, unless you just want to pump and dump.......... 😉
Easy puss that will leave by herself in time dude haha
We need more faithful women out here like Courtney Ryan .
I tend to agree with you, but a lot of the time it's a little harder when you have kids involved... the lines can get blurred REAL fast
I had a friend do this to me...kind of. We were friends but it became romantic a while after she separated from her Ex as I was supportive due to him *allegedly* being abusive to her. Eventually got a text saying “I’m going back to my ex”. Then when I tried to text her back I was told not to because ‘he’s in the room now’ and then ghosted. Unfortunately two weeks later a mutual friend told me she was with someone else (not the Ex). I suspect she was ‘Monkey Branching’ this guy beforehand. I think a lot of what she was doing was to provoke the ex - pictures of her with someone else on Facebook and that kind of thing. The guy was making sexual comments on her photos. “It’s complicated” as a relationship status...
A few red flags that you’ve said in this video happened at the time. She told me ‘he’s with someone else’ and then told me that she’d changed her hair colour because ‘he likes it’ etc...after literally telling me she wanted ‘nothing to do with him’ in the same conversation. It is difficult when you really like someone because you don’t want that to be true, but my advice is don’t ignore those red flags and alarm bells that go off in your head. They happen for a reason.
Avoiding the ex is almost impossible if there are children involved.
agreed
You definitely will not avoid the ex… if she hasn’t taken him to court yet, that’s a red flag
These signs are all super obvious if you're willing to open your eyes. I've been there. Trust your gut. Don't ignore this stuff thinking you won't find another girl.
Excellent words of wisdom Courtney. One of the biggest mistakes i used to make when talking to girls was talking about past relationships. Guys should never do that. Don't ask about exs. Even worse if you date a single mother, it's definitely gonna come up about the woman ex. Some things are better left unsaid and not done.
I totally agree. I think sometimes curiosity can get the best of us but it’s honestly better to just not ask sometimes 😂👏🏼
Yep, don't talk about it. Keep it light and breezy in initial dating. If she starts asking you about exes it's probably a good sign. Keep quiet and see if SHE brings it up and then say you'll tell her if she tells you about her exes first! Nothing comes for free!
@@jleano609 amen to that! Thanks for the excellent advice. I will definitely keep it in mind for future interactions with women. You definitely know your stuff 😁👍🏼
But what do you do, then, when a girl asks you why you got divorced or what was your longest relationship, and why didn't it work out? In my case, especially since my disastrous marriage only lasted one year, I want to make sure a woman knows that it ended because her drinking got out of control and led to some unacceptable behaviors
@@jleano609 I've done that, and she's more than happy to tell me about why her relationships (especially if she was actually married) failed. It's usually been a healthy discussion that in many ways bonded us, so I'm not sure it's necessarily a bad thing. Also, it can enlighten you early on as to your potential compatibility
It's good to know that we got Courtney looking out for us. Now I can tell whether or not I'm a rebound
There is one reason someone should talk to their ex. They have a child, or children together, and these conversations have everything to do with co-parenting, and the kid(s).
This is a great video courtney. I know that feeling when a girl I used to date only wanted me to be her shoulder to cry, but I cut her off fast.
I’m glad I never got to be someone’s second choice.
Not every girl straightens up and flies right from the get go. Especially the younger ones with not too much dating experience. Even if talk of Ex's is minimal during the initial dating phase (and especially if its not) IF you are thinking of actually GFing this girl up then lay out your expectations. If you want me as a BF we're now exclusive, no talking to Exs, rebuff them if they sniff around, dump their social media etc. etc. I'll do the same for you. Very few people actually have this conversation and actually make explicit BF/GF commitments - but they should. Set your boundaries early and enforce them!
I've been hanging out with someone that went through a difficult divorce. We go out dancing on the weekends, generally have good chemistry together, she told me that the timing isn't right for her right now. She still wants to go out and have fun. I had to leave her behind as it was affecting me possibly meeting someone when I do go out. Have some self respect, brothers and leave it behind.
Courtney Ryan followers are the best people!
ooh, nice top Courtney! My first girlfriend was rebounding and it didn't go well, so lesson learned early on!
Yup totally agree some can be very sneaky about it. Girl I was dating kept seeing him while we were dating for a short while. After a short while of trying to talk about it I dropped her out of my life way to toxic
courtney didnt cap once and thats why shes the goat
Courtney --- you mentioned how often to wash denim jeans - try using Woolite Darks - it uses less aggressive chemicals - the jeans will look great for much longer than using the usual laundry detergent
I've been dating for a month a girl with whom I decided to totally quit things, this video made me realize that she was not over her ex, turns out that things didn't work out between them because he didn't want to really, and she's been doing the same with me this last month
Yes she is very hesitant to awnser a question I appreciate this video thank you for helping me see 😮
Ex's reminding about themselves only when they are on emotional downfall and they try to boost their self-esteem. In reality they not really care about you so better option will be ignore any kind of pings from them.
I was about to be in a relationship with this girl (by the way I’m Autistic, Never been in a proper relationship before) this girl knew that I like her, but I had a feeling that she never accepted me for being autistic. she did indeed was newly in a relationship with a guy, Like a year later she went back to her ex. To me was very devastated like I could’ve been The one for her. 🥺
Keep your head up and know at the right time you’ll find a women that will love you for who you are.
💪🏽✌🏾
Bruh I literally going through same thing fuck I saw her Insta story but sadly I think she went back to his ugly ass boy. But aye I have to focus on myself cause gotta save my 💵 money
Sorry you had to go thru that. Keep pushing ahead didn't deserve you
These videos are so beneficial. Nothing but gratitude sis
I went through all of this among other things and it really hurts to be in this position. These people tend to come on very strong and conform to what they think YOU are attracted to. I'm not stupid so when I put everything together it really reinforced every negative belief about myself I have, especially when I put so much into building the relationship. Not worth it at all.
Great video, lots of good points. I might be an exception, but I am still friends with my ex-wife. Her boyfriend and I are also friends, all three of us talk and get along. Heck, he even asked me in advance before he proposed to her. However, this might just be one of the rare cases. We all have good communication, and the "feelings" of love between my ex and I are that of friendship love.
@@Dasher49225 She did keep her vows. There was no cheating or abuse or anything bad at all on either end. Again, we might be a rare exception to the rules. Before getting married, we were both on the same level of not wanting to have children. Over time, she did change her mind. It is very reasonable too. That is one fundamental that I wouldn't change, however, I would never take that right away from her. Not going to say it was easy emotionally, but it was the right thing for both of us to do. She now has a daughter with her present fiance.
You're spot on!! Nailed it completely, I couldn't have said it any better myself, I'm currently experiencing this situation, and going thru basically everything you said, which is why I'm here lol
Always lovely to see you beautiful Courtney. This video was something that happened to me two years ago
Man,Courtney's platform is growing well.🧐🙏🏽
Great advice! Thank you. I had a relationship with someone like this for 2 years. Had our ups and downs but honestly 70% downs. It was my first relationship ever and She had all these characteristics. My gut said “this doesn’t seem right” but when you’re not confident in yourself I feel you’re subconsciously toxic. And that I was.
Thank you so much for this Courtney. This really helped with a situation I'm going through.
Wow my ex had all of these signs... good thing I got rid of her after 3 months.
It seems to me that I and the guys I know recover much quicker and easily get into a serious relationship quicker than the women I know. For me, it's simple.....life is short, and you're only going to be young and attractive once, so why brood about someone for a long time when it can't work out and potentially miss out on someone new who could be much better for you?
I know what it's like to be a rebound and being able to see some of these signs may have helped. To cut a long story short, my ex and I met in 2019 and "got together" in January 2020 (essentially before covid) and were only together until about June that year without having gone out much then given the peak of the pandemic. It was in June when she announced to me over video (if it was even true) that she got engaged to someone else (yes, you read that right, engaged) and pretended we were no longer together even though she was the one to say she liked me first and wrote a letter wishing we would make lots of memories and stuff. That was about a year ago, I'm over it now, but I basically hate her guts for choosing the wrong way to end things when there was a better way.
Well look at this way, you dodged a bullet there if that's the sort of behavior she's capable of. Jeez, I've been cheated on and dumped, but at least she told me right after to my face.
I need to manifest and find a real woman like Courtney 😤. Appreciate you 🙏🏼
Yep it’s even worse when they monkey branched from relationship to relationship. It’s emotional torture for us being cheated on when we can’t prove it but can feel something is wrong. Way worse than a rebound. I’m still healing 6 months later those scars go deep. Wish there were more women like Courtney I always thought it was bizarre when women keep photos of their exes on social. I delete any trace they ever existed. They become dead to me just like how they treated me when they broke up.
I still heart broken after a month of no contact. She actually said that I was the rebound and it tore my heart to shreds. I really don't know what to do as I am still missing her. It's crazy.
i feel like a rebound after watching this. ill be back i gotta talk to this girl
WOW Courtney you blew by 100k...good for you...Congrats...seems like a great reason to receive a nice watch....
I'm dating a girl who broke up with a girl for 10yrs and she keeps talking about him constantly she knows all his moves and yet they broke up. Thanks Courtney.
i can recommend you to a man who helped me bring back my ex permanently he can also help you
Thanks,
This really helped evaluate myself. I love your content you put out. It has helped me grow.
More tips
More new life
Thanks Courtney for this wonderful tips.
Greetings from Brazil
Very true all your points Courtney especially point #3 and the worst thing is that I was planning to get serious in my relationship with her and ended up purchasing her engagement ring 😅😅 so she can broke up with me 1 month later after 11 months of dating her. Thanks for your tips
Omg 😭 I’m sorry that happened to you but good for you for being in good spirits lol you deserve better 🥰
Also if its going at a fast pace. Psychological displacement, fast tracking new partner to exclusivity and continuing as if they've be in a relationship for years. Basically, like a substitute for the void the ex left as they liked the relationship feel aspect. 👍🏻
Rebound relationships are a bit like putting a band-aid on a broken leg. Psychologically you may convince yourself it works, but deep down there's a lot of healing to be done.
Happened to one of my best friends. We both came out of 4 year relationships around the same time. I focused on myself and healed. He got into 3 relationships within 5 months. Ironically he's a psychologist, but rather than looking inward, he continued to seek external gratification. Luckily, I managed to get through to him eventually and he's growing from it.
My now-ex was like this. He cheated on her after years together, and she didn’t take adequate time to process it before she started dating again. I don’t even know if she realizes she was doing these things. I don’t think she missed him per se, but rather the life she imagined she had and would have. She can’t be all in if one foot is still in the past.
I am going through a similar situation right now, and even though I am not invested too much emotionally with her, but just by spending time and having sex, it gets to you. Just one day, we had a blast of fun things together, the next day, she is broken and thinks of him- wondering whats he up to, she feels guilty of moving to fast etc..
Today, I am ending this for good. Giving her space to heal and her shit while I focus on myself and other more important things in mylife. #dontwastetime #dontignoretheredflags
Very often when a woman keeps mentioning her past relationship she was the one dumped. So likely feelings still exist. It's up to you to hold your ground at one point and assertively let her know how you really feel about the situation. She is then to establish her priorities. Women do not respond well to ultimatums, so don't. If she is really interested in what you offer she will make the effort, give her time don't just quit, feelings change...just saying.
Yeah no that's not really the case in today's world lol
Nah you gotta tell her either she chooses you or them and distance yourself. Otherwise they think your a doormat
In my opinion the only time it would be "ok" to stay in contact with an ex, is for a child or children.
Fuck! I love your honesty!! You just give me so much insight into such matters. Shady women should be scared of you!
Your youtube channel is growing fast!
Two months ago, I met a girl through a mutual friend. She and I instantly hit it off. She had just broken up wit her boyfriend and I had told her not to mention him again. She then started showing interest in me. So it was only natural that I showed interest in her. So we went out one night and then I said to her "Hey I really like you and I want to take you out on a date next Friday". She then told me she not only wasn't interested in me, but that she never will be. So then I blocked her on all social media and her number. Two weeks later she goes back to her ex. I wasted so much time and money on a girl who didn't give a shit about me. But now I know. And I can use this to learn from and move forward with my life.
I really can't stand the one that would complain to me about their boyfriend that she's trying "to fix" and yet she acts happy around him after she unloads her emotions on him and expects me to support her emotions. Yet she would keep taking him back. I know this is a few years back but Im using that emotion to protect myself from getting into that situation again.
Went to hang with this girl and within the first 20 minutes she told me about how “my ex treated me badly in the 5 years we were together”. Knew he was still in the picture since she also said they broke up.
I went on some dates with a women, slept together on the first, she talked about her ex CONSTANTLY. Luckily I’ve learned a lot, told her straight up she was not over him and she was upset with me. We stayed in touch, few months later, she was back with the ex and has since moved back in. She FULLY ADMITTED I was right. Still friends, she complains at him and it won’t last, BUT proud to say I recognized it and held that boundary 😊
When a dude tells you in front of both you and she lied to your face about it when you just got done having a convo about forgiveness for sketchy behavior and potential cheating for the sake of the relationship to evolve beyond where it was ...then she gos and says he only said that because she refused to give it up to the other dude ....aint that some shit i find it mind numbing how i was thought to be so naive...crazy as ot is though she got hit in a crosswalk and well ... I'm holding off on moving on because I genuinely care and have love for this woman. Despite her shame and deceptions i want to show her im not like every other man that treated her like a piece of meat. But if its over its over.
My wife used to accept compliments from her ex while we were going out (he was a married man by the way). Not only that but she invited him to our wedding. I found out about this after marrying her.
so happy to watch this before going to bed always thanks! from korea
Me and my ex was still having sex while she was with her current so called boyfriend that she suppose to be in love with.Doesnt make sense to me at all!
You should start adding time stamps to your videos :)
Why do that? You'll miss out on important information if you just skip to certain parts. Plus Courtney videos aren't that long lol😄. Trust me, it makes more sense to watch the whole thing cuz you'll miss something important or ask a question about something she's already answered
@@GEORGIOARCADE it just gives an option to viewers
@@deryas1844 ohh ok no biggie Derya
Her videos and points are too well thought out to just skip through them in my opinion.
Rollo talks about Exes and how they can be particularly problematic in what he calls the “Alpha Widow” complex. There can be that “one that got away” in a girls past that she just can’t get over. Maybe he was the one that gave her the best sex she ever had or in some other way he’s the one who every one after gets compared to. It gets to the point she can no longer pair bond with any other guy after. And of course, the more partners she has had, the more chance she has of being Alpha Widowed, so that’s a good reason to favor girls with low body counts.
This was very helpful. Thanks for posting.
I'm looking for the instant gratification
Definitely needed this video. Now I think I understand why she's getting kinda cold with me. The girl I'm talking to for about 4 months now told me that she made contact with her ex, so that they can exchange back their stuff they had at their place. About a few days later. She suddenly stopped calling me like how she would usually do, her messages would not seem as excited. Plus she's been posting up sad quotes etc. I really do like this girl but most definitely she still misses her ex.
i can recommend you to a man who helped me bring back my ex permanently he can also help you
+1 (213) 5 8 7-4 4 5 3
Whazapp him
How r u doing now ?
Everything she said is true 100% Facts.
Sad to say l experienced this however l only had 2 months put in and moved on.
Courtney, I had a weird situation. I had a GF in Peru and almost moved there. I realized that I couldn't live with her, so I ended the relationship about four years ago. She'd cared for this stray cat that I brought back with me, and he's my BEST BUD; I couldn't ask for a more faithful, loving, and loyal cat! Anyway, she still wanted to talk, so she could see him and know how he's doing. I agreed because, without her, he wouldn't have lived long enough for me to bring him back to the US. It was sort of like divorced parents talking because they have kids. Earlier this summer, she said that she wanted to see Son of Tiger, and I just ignored the request; I didn't talk to her. I must confess that, though we broke up on decent terms, it felt good.
I was the rebound guy and do you think she will come back and want to see me again. Thanks
It’s not toxic to go through your partners phone if you suspect that they’re being disloyal. Loyalty is huge in a relationship , especially for men. And if your partner is being private with their phone there’s obviously a reason for that. Phones is a tel tale sign that something is wrong and she is either emotionally cheating or physically cheating. Then they will gaslight you by saying you “broke trust” meanwhile they already broke it long ago when they decided to emotionally cheat. Big red flag
Wow bro you need therapist ! Respectfully!
@@toddsmith346 you need a dating coach, respectfully!
yeah----- I do think being secretive about a phone is a bad sign, had one dude snatch it up super fast when all I was doing was picking it up to move tables, had no plans of opening it up at all. Ended things a bit too late with that dude but, still, learning to see red flags. Oh! But I do think snooping in general is bad, because.... I had my personal diary in my phone, and I didn't care if the BF I had at the time looked through my phone. He read my diary from back from 1 year prior to meeting him, and he got mad I had the hots for a different dude at that time and accused me of cheating. Things simmered down after a while but once ur partner reads through ur private diary from a long time ago without your permission, and then they accuse you of things that didn't happen?? I later found out he was cheating himself.... and I realized him looking through my phone was a way for him to justify his behavior. I was pretty miffed.
My girlfriend was in an abusive relationship before I started dating her and the guy dumped her. Every time I do something wrong she compares me to him even when he did worse. What should I do to address that?
Thank you ! I recently started taking to a woman online back in November and we decided to meet 2 weeks ago and spend a weekend together as we live 8 hrs away. We video chatted every week, flirted even talked about getting intimate and pretty much everything. I couldn't help but feel like we had a connection. We talked out our past early on which was ok ,but later she either kept talking about her diseased ex husband which to an extent ok i get it but then her ex boyfriend after which was weird. When it got to me is the day we met in person and i took her out for dinner. She would just randomly start saying oh when i was with my ex this and that and even going into detail about how she wished he had done things different that she wouldn't go back but still hang out. I just looked away in disbelief and asked are you ok? I said no you keep bringing up your ex which is rude especially when i flew out to see you and get to know you. So we had that conversation and we messed around but when it came to actually having sex she got weird saying she couldn't. I thought at first maybe i was just being a typical guy but need to chill and let it roll off. I realized that im on a date with her not her ex. Especially its wrong how she lead me on and i clearly said i dont just go take flights to see women. I think shes just lonely and wants me around to dump her baggage on me meanwhile her ex comes back around. I started cutting back on talking but gradually and if i see no change then i will just end all contact.
An ex of mine came back after she left me for some other guy. I gave her a chance but all she did was talk about her ex lol
How do i handle this? Don’t wanna say anything bc i don’t want to come off as needy
Where was this video a year ago before I wasted 8 months of my life? It would have saved me a lot of confusion and hurt
Regarding the photos, I'm for archiving but not for deleting - assuming that relationship was on the whole positive. That person and your experience with them likely helped shape your personality and your expectations and hopes for future relationships. Just because they weren't the right fit doesn't mean you should delete that experience. Just don't look at them - or get into a relationship - until you can go many days without thinking about the ex. Even then, only look once a year or so.