Its because many people dont get over their exes, especially men. So its just mostly fear that the person you are dating is still hung up ok their ex and will not love you as much as their ex because its their first love and you cant ever compare. Ive seen relationships like this where the guy never gets over it and always keep that person in his heart, and if he has the chance, he would go back to her. And thats where emotionally and physically cheating comes in. And you never feel good enough. Just look at princess diana and prince charles and camilia parker bowles. Prime example
But there are also many many cases where women fabricate this issue based on nothing but their own insecurities. I've been in such a situation with an ex. I eventually got tired of telling her that my exs are in the past, and she deemed that to be proof that I was still in love with an ex that I was never in love with in the first place.
My boyfriend's ex relationship didnt worked out because he is the third party of someone's marriage. But i saw cry for her talking about how inlove he is because i was his go to "friend" but i was also in a relationship that time. Right now we are finally together but i still feel insecure because i am the opposite of his ex. His ex has a very big breat minus the ass. I have the ass minus tge breast. She has an east asian feature while i have the southeast asian feature with brown skin. I am si insecure. Our major fights are always about his past. I can't seem to forget how inlove he was i felt like i was just a rebound.
I read a story from a military wife who husband was a marine. He divorced her after reconnecting with a woman he was involved with at 19. It was after 20 years of marriage.
I'm not jealous about the exes. I feel turned off. It makes the person unattractive in my eyes that they had romantic attraction, physical interaction, etc. with such people. Sorry, but I do judge you by the people you dated.
I don‘t understand. So you feel turned off from you Partner because you don’t approve the Exes they chose. What does that say about dem choosing you then?
@@77raymann I don't think you understand his point. He is pointing to the wrong choices your gf/bf made in their past. I wish there was a way to also accommodate the fact that most people are jealous but also fear the return of the ex which happen in real life.
Didn't even finish the entire video. This comment just saved me. I've been so dumb about my girlfriend's ex, wondering everything and overthinking it all. Obviously she broke up with him for a reason, and she's with me for a reason. She loves me, and this insecurity is just silly. Thanks for the wisdom
To me, I have insecurities about if they were the right person for them instead of me, did their ex match them better, what hobbies do they have, how much more exciting are they than me, doesn't he compare me to them? Does my lack of something make them miss their ex even more? Did their ex dump them and they are just chose me so they're not lonely?
It's actually really hard. I am just trying to put some wisdom within myself that it's just past and i too might have been thinking something else in that point of time.
I feel that it comes from a desire to be seen. It’s about identity and worth. Maybe the man isn’t doing a good enough job to make you feel seen and special like you are his ‘one.’ Hence, you doubt yourself with him because ultimately you don’t trust him with your heart fully.
What I don't understand is when you dating a person and that person tells you that his relationship is over for good and his/ her still keeps their exe photos on their phones
Ok lets talk about people that talk about there ex all the time! JUST STOP! I’ve dated a guy that would talk about her all the time for making me jalous. And it did! I am the opposite of jalous, but then he planted a little seed in my head and now I am allways thinking about if he still loves her. I’ve stopped seeing him now ❌. I will never see a guy like this in the future ever again. If he can not makes me comfortable and safe with him, HE IS NOT MINE 🙅♀️🚮 BABYE 👋
And you know what? Just in case you wanted the whole story 😂 He did that with a lot of women (he told me: if I could I could date two other girls but I don’t want to bla-bla-bla, etc) I knew he wanted me to say that I don’t see anybody else when we dated but I did not say anything. If you want to know something honey, you need to ask me like an adult. Ladies, don’t feed those kind of behaviour. Let him grow from afar to become the best male version of himself. (English is my second language, sorry if made mistakes)
I am aware that my retroactive jealousy is based in the fact that my fiancé has a daughter with his most recent ex. I have no jealousy towards their relationship, her looks or her personality. I'm aware it is due to my pregnancy history and a feeling of having lost out. It's a lot more complex than being hung up on his exs looks or sense of humor.
In the same situation. It's hard to accept that the person I want to be with and have children with has already done it all with someone else and done it for so long.
This came at the right time. I’ve been burned badly by my last relationship and jealous feelings have been coming up in my new and very healthy/stable relationship.
Same. Started dating this girl who is 43 with a 7yr old boy with her ex husband of 13yrs. They have a close relationship and even hug in front of me. She says she loves me and that we are meant to be together but I’m struggling so frickin’ hard not to tell her how I feel about her involvement with her ex. It’s killing me inside that they’re “co-parenting” appears to be wayyy more than that bc I see them being so friendly. I wonder if that’s a healthy coparenting situation or a bouquet of red flags. I’ve been hurt so many times in the past and I’m freaking out bc I’m falling for her but now questioning if I can deal with this indefinitely :/
@@tania8749 hey there… thanks for taking the time to ask, much appreciated. I still haven’t said anything. She also recently got out of a four year relationship with some cop that cheated on her and lied to her time and time again yet she went back for more. I don’t understand women anymore. I think her and I got together like 3-4 months after their breakup and o have a feeling she’s still not over him even though I’m literally 100x the man and partner that clown could ever be. I’m a good looking guy and have a funny personality but I’ve always struggled with I guess you can say jealousy or insecurity. Basically worrying that these guys are going to weasel their way back into her life and I’ll be the one left high and dry. It sucks having these thoughts so often but I guess this is the price to pay to “learn how to trust” and “be confident”. I literally feel like I have no voice and have to bury everything because I feel that if I say something I’m going to look weak and insecure and pathetic so it’s back to pretending that everything is ok 😀😂
I feel it’s important to remember there’s no actual use in being jealous of your ex, or your ex’s new partner as the relationship ultimately didn’t work out for either party. It’s so much healthier to just let old feelings go and either leave it in the past or start a new chapter of friendship. Some relationships don’t work out romantically but end up having a great other purpose if one can learn to let go of the things that don’t work
@@joesillamanrs7189 I think it ultimately comes down to acceptance and a lot of focus on personal mental growth. Acceptance that things happen for a reason and that what’s meant to be will be, that different people come into your life to teach you something you needed to learn. Sounds cliché but dwelling in the past or feelings is not helpful for your own well-being
My boyfriend's ex relationship didnt worked out because he is the third party of someone's marriage. But i saw cry for her talking about how inlove he is because i was his go to "friend" but i was also in a relationship that time. Right now we are finally together but i still feel insecure because i am the opposite of his ex. His ex has a very big breat minus the ass. I have the ass minus tge breast. She has an east asian feature while i have the southeast asian feature with brown skin. I am si insecure. Our major fights are always about his past. I can't seem to forget how inlove he was i felt like i was just a rebound.
@@altshift_ I understand, it’s super normal to feel insecure. But maybe you’re projecting your own insecurities onto him for no real reason? If you’re actually worried, maybe just straight up ask for the information you need/want calmly. Explain your intention and be honest about what bothers you and let him know that it’s not meant as judgement and be sure to not make accusations Maybe he has a WHOLE other perspective that you can’t see because you’re stuck in your insecurities? Literally look at it from a third person and take your emotions out of the picture Edit, don’t compare physical attributes. It’s not helpful and it matters very little if you’re with someone who appreciates you for who you are!
@@emma1540 thank you my dear. I feel those insecurities when i am far from him. I do also feel that he genuinely loves me. And yes probably, I am the problem. I'm trying my best to stop being insecure. I hope someday Id be more cofident.
“She probably isn’t that great.” Maybe she is really that great but you still shouldn’t be jealous or insecure. Normally when you feel jealousy it’s your subconscious telling you that whatever you’re jealous of, you need to work on in yourself.
When my best friend started dating her partner years ago, she was obsessed with his ex girlfriend. She had downloaded this girl's photos from Facebook to her phone, and she was analyzing every single part of her looks, comparing the two of them. I found it quite shocking as my friend is one of the most beautiful and intelligent women you will ever meet. And still she had all these insecurities based on some stranger's pictures from social media. My friend and her partner got married last week, so as you can see her worries were for nothing. Bottom line, there is a reason why there is an X to it...cause this person is not in their life anymore.
Exes sometimes come back. I think that's why it's scary cause sometimes you just don't know if it's over or really over.. especially if the ex is the one to do the breakup.
@@shuragordon2199 I agree but at the end of the day you can't control other people's actions. There's always going to be someone who might want to interfere in your relationship, whether it's an ex or not, and if your partner wants to act on it, you can't do anything about it. I have been there so I know what it feels like. I wasted so much time worrying that something might happen and none of these relationships worked because these guys were simply not the ones for me. Social media definitely makes everything worse...
I actually wish the father of my 2 beautiful babies “previous husband“ the best of luck finding someone that makes him happy forever , I really want to hear that news that he found the love of his life and got married again.
I feel like I get this type of jealousy when I think of all the travelling they did together and I feel like he will never do the same or have this experience with me, and thinking like this makes me sad to the point where I cannot even hear about the places he's been to without feeling triggered and jealous.. I obviously hide that I feel this way because is kind of stupid of me. Also the issue was that back in the day I checked social media and saw all the pictures of them together while travelling for a year, it was at the beginning of the relationship and didn't feel any jealousy then, but months later after being together for some time I checked again and it totally made me hurt.. I decided not to check ever again.. I also started comparing myself to her thinking that she was more fun and adventurous than me.. I try to forget about it and think on the present, I feel like he adores me and he's said that he's very excited about the future together, but still every time his past travelling adventures come up I feel bad! Any advice on how to overcome this is very welcomed, I wish I didn't feel this way because is not fair on him either 😕 😢
There are some really good books on retroactive jealousy out there. Check some of them out and see if they resonate. They’ve been helpful on my journey, offering techniques to cope with it while in partnership. Mine stems from my dad abandoning me at birth. Somehow, it manifests in my relationships, attachment disorders etc. Best of luck!
He's with you, tho, right? You have him and his Ex doesn't, obviously for a reason. I'd be happy about that and look into travel you might want to do. Maybe other cities, countries, towns or continents he didn't yet get to. Also, if you marry and have children, how great to be able to take your kids with you on family trips that will be much richer experiences than either of you have had before. Good luck
@@stephh.3320 that's such a nice thing to think about, I definitely feel that the more time we spend together and places we go it makes it easier to forget about these thoughts about the ex or even not care. As you say I do think too that it is an ex for a reason, it's just the traveling part that bothered me 🤯
@@vanessae9425 thank you! I'll check it out, I think I do feel insecure sometimes and I need to remind myself of my value.. glad you've been able to find the path to healing 🙏
What makes me jealous is how he treated his exes.. not jealous of the person.. will he treat me more, will he exert more effort for me, will he bring me to places to explore, will he etc etc etc.. more for me..
Count how many times you said “me” in this one comment. Replace that with what you can possibly do WITH and FOR the other person. You’d be amazed at how far you go
My husband has been in a long-term relationship with his ex, he wasn’t over his ex yet before he met me. After he met me, he said he was completely over his ex, and no longer has any feelings towards her. But I still feel bitter about his past since his ex was the one who ended things and she cut him off, that’s why he couldn’t go back. I still feel if his ex somehow gave him a chance, he would go back at that time.
I ruined my relationship from jealousy. My ex stated that he was friends with his ex, but it seemed too much. He texted with her daily, checked on her when she was sick, went to her house to fix things. After a date when he talked about her a little too much, I sent him texts asking him that it hurt and to please stop. He got angry and dumped me.
I’m sorry but I couldn’t be more pissed wtf. I felt horrible just from reading this so I can’t imagine how you feel. He is obviously not over his ex and isn’t even trying to hide it. He was using you as a rebound and had absolutely no respect for you and had the audacity to manipulate you into thinking you were at fault and that “you ruined the relationship”. Please get out of this situation and move on you deserve much better.
I totally relate to that and it has been tormenting me for months now . Now , I'm just making peace with the fact that right person will calm down your insecurities otherwise they're not the right person .
I know that what you said is true. I’m dating someone and I’m incredibly intimidated and insecure but he’s like I’m still talking to you… I do feel the right one would calm me down… not sure he’s the right one. 🙁
I think this video completely misses the point as only superficial attributes are discussed. The real problem is not the ex but the current partner who talks too much and in too great detail about the ex. THAT is what makes us jealous. Of course it is helpful to discuss previous relationships when getting to know each other but apart from that, one should spare the new partner frequent references to one's ex or even exes. If the ex is mentioned again and again, it's a sign that this might truly be a problem because the new partner might not be over his/her ex yet so the feeling of jealousy might also be an alarm bell and might be an indicator for what's going on in his or her mind.
My boyfriend has said that he was, "head over heals over this girl" he only broke up with her because he caught her talking with his best friend. I guess she is an Only fans model now. And to him I am just beautiful, not gorgeous. I guess I am not as pretty to him. He also said he was obsessed with her for a few months. It hurts.
My partner is a songwriter and he wrote songs for his ex. We started our relationship when he hasn't fully moved on from his ex. He was meeting me while hoping for his ex to be available. I never been jealous of my past relationship's ex, but this time it's different because since I chose my partner, I knew i was just a rebound. Fast forward to 2023, we are 3 years and 6 months together now. But I found something I should've not seen and I saw the songs he made for his ex, i couldn't help but get jealous for what I have read. I asked him to get rid of the paper he wrote the lyrics and he refused and being defensive. It makes me feel like he's not done with her and I get so frustrated and feel like a rebound eventho we're together for 3 years now.
@@museunlimitedinc4261 hello, thank you for that. An update after 3 months, me and my bf is now doing great together. I overcame my jealousy and focus on what we have now, i decided to focus my energy to myself too. Do things that is going to make me more attractive for myself and for my sanity. Now, we're focusing on our goals together. It was indeed hard for the both of us, we almost broke up. But i realise, i have the most loving relationship and i can't afford to lose it just because of my jealousy.
@@museunlimitedinc4261yeah I have to agree. Been with my boyfriend for 10 yrs but even he still has old photos of his exes on social media from the years to 2008-11 but they were highschool GFS, he had 2 serious relationships before me but again it was only HS and he dated them both for only 10-11 months..so not that long. He was still messing with one of his HS exes right around the time him and I met but once me and him got closer he let her go, she tried coming back 4 years afterwards bc her bf she was living with at the time wasn't making her happy anymore and I think she was coming back to him in hopes he'd be her back up bc that's what she use to do before I came into the pic but I wasn't having it I knew what she was doing, he originally thought "oh time has past maybe she's changed and just needs a friend" lmaoo i didn't care, I gave him the ultimatum and made him choose just as I did in the beginning of us talking, i told him either its gonna be me or her and he picked me so i told him to block her bc i was tired of seeing her all over his social media and she needed to go back to his past where she belongs, now. She had a lot of nerve thinking she could just simply come back after it's already been years since they even talked to each other and I was tired of him entertaining her as well bc he was still worried about her wellbeing.. I was going nuts. But all that took place 6 yrs ago and everyone finally moved on. Haven't had any problems like that since. But yes he still has their pics on social media but he doesn't look back at them and miss the memories or anything, they're just there and it's his past. Just doesn't belong in our relationship lol
I've been in a relationship where I was compared to his ex & his first and since then it's always really messed with my head. I don't know if it's trust issues, insecurity, constantly comparing--- maybe a mix of all--- but it drives me insane and I feel like I'm not capable of having a relationship. I genuinely don't believe that the person with me actually has me as their first choice and I'm not just a placeholder.
Okay, girl trust me with this, i have sooo been in this situation and I ik it sucks it’s the worst feeling tht one could ever have , I have even talked to his ex she had the audacity to disclose each n ever small romantic detail of their past dating life and since they had dated for a year and us not even months, but after a point I realise . Uk talking to guys about their ex it’s their turn off. If the guy really loves you n if ur comfortable enough share these feelings with him .am sure it might be an uncomfortable conversation but you would realise it’s worth it. And “don’t let the past blackmail the present and ruin the beautiful future” remember.
I've met my Stepdaughters father, he was such a boring, sloth like weirdo it didn't bother me at all, the guy she dated and before and after him I took as a threat ( I've never met him " same guy ", but he was portrayed as Mr personality, the bee's knee's. I'll hopefully never will meet him, all I can do to beat this is by becoming the best version of myself.
You know, it’s not the stuff about the ex talked about in this vid that bothers me. It’s that she has the power to get my husband to text her late at night or call her when I’m at not there. Is it just me or is this real cause for “jealousy”?
Then you are still in the process of letting go… Being dumped a couple months ago, then finding out my ex find a new guy after two weeks… lets just say that I understand to some degree how that feels
My problem is his ex still runs in his close friends circle so he sees her four times a month. And on top of it, she broke up with him and he was trying to get back with her at the beginning of our dating. But now he says he’s over her. I don’t know if I can trust that as he also refused to make things more serious with me during our early dating stages because of her and she’s been texting him consistently until a few weeks ago. He told me he had a recent talk with her to stop what they’re doing as he’s ready for me, but it’s really hard to trust him or the ex.
I'm really late on this but are you still seeing this guy? If so I hope he blocked her bc he if is serious about you then there's no reason as to why she is still even in the pic.
so he’s never talked about his “ex” but my sister told me he has a hard time getting over girls and the girl said he asked why they stop talking last yesr
What if your drunk partner says, after 8 months of relationship, that the only woman he ever deeply loved was his first love, with whom he keeps in touch and she keeps in touch with his mother ??
What if my boyfriend keeps being friends with his ex? Like a few times a week they chat in social media and stuff. He says it's nothing, and never hides their chat or his phone. I still feel insecure...
So if someone finds reason to be jealous of an ex.....there are probably deeper than the surface issues. Of not an ex.....then what else? Time to cut the cord and mature up
When he cheating on you and he want to bragging to make other girl jealous on purpose to make them feel good about there self and it's not right that was wrong what he did because I don't think when some one else do the same thing back.
my previous partner made me feel insecure in our relationship and disrespected our relationship a few times. i have a new partner and he is amazing but i find myself being jealous or hurt by the other woman in his life and ik that’s not fair to him but how do i stop feeling that way?
I like u guys and will get in touch with Lottie to become a member. Love Matthew, Steven, jameson and Audrey...What a girl Matthew 🤩 Forget about the ex clear some photos and take more of yourselves. Audrey go on you are beautiful 😍
Hi everyone! I just watched this video in search for understanding my situation. I am putting everything on me and thinking how I am just crazy, insecure, controlling and what not for feeling like this. This is what is happening. The man I am in a commited relationship with has a very close friendship with his ex, they are basically just not having sex now but still talk for hours over the phone at least few times a week, supporting each other, hanging out, going to movies, dinners, concerts, hikes… He is saying they are just friends, he loves me, he is showing up and at the same time something about that relationship is really bothering me, I am not in peace. Like something is off. And I was questioning myself and I still don’t have clarity. I don’t think he is lying about having sex, no, it’s not about sex, and yet… this all seems just “too much” for me. I am trying to understand. Not that we cannot have other friends and people in our lives, relationship is not a prison, not at all, but it seems to me that they are too entangled and too involved into each other’s lives. What do you think? Please share. Thank you so much in advance! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
And also last time he turned off his phone when he went to meet with her. What the heck is that? Now when I am writing this I am realizing that this bothers me more than I was even aware of.
This would be a different situation as this actually involves your current partner still having an *intimate* connection with their ex. Some people may say that reassurance would suffice but personally, I would ask for my partner to set boundaries with their ex. Talk it out. If your partner truly loves you, he would value your feelings more than he would his ex’s.
Dear, I feel you, it's the exact same situation with my partner and me. He and his ex have been in a comitted relationship for six years and he refuses to give their still lasting friendship less room in the present. It's not that I ever wanted to compete to anybody, for sure almost every person a certain age has a past and it's perfectly fine to have close bonds to friends outside the relationship. But he brings up their shared couple moments constantly. I figuerd he even uses her name as password ... At this moment I have not been brave enough to meet her yet out of fear of their dynamic together right in front of me, but perhaps that's wrong. As Mathew so beautifully points put in this video: we don't know actually what the ex feels about our partner and maybe the intimidating portrait is one-sided... still I can fully relate to your situation. Keep it up! He'll show you what you're worth to him and if not - you deserve better and will find them! 🫶🏽
Im in the exact situation with my husband now, and it’s burning me out. He’s still best friends with his ex wife that were married for over 8 years. They’re like besties, he tells her everything, they work together, so lunch together everyday, hanging out non stop. They are also incredibly similar to each other, almost like his twin. In the beginning I was completely okay with it, until I started to think, is she closer to him than me? She definitely knows him longer than I do, she knows more things about him than I do, and she’s wayyyyyy similar to him than me. It all makes me very insecure and angry all the time. Unfortunately I confronted him many times, but nothing seems to change. I really love him, but I don’t know how to deal with all of this, it makes me very annoyed and uncomfortable 😞
My boyfriend's ex is still part of the friend group and I hate it. Because she USED to be my friend years ago. And she unceremoniously dumped me. Only for years later to find out shes my new boyfriend's ex. And she's got no fkin sense of boundaries.
Really it's not their fault they've never had to develop a personality or be honest or be nice so that people will like them because they're attractive people like them no matter what feel bad for those people because one day they're going to be older and not attractive and they're just going to be a bitter hateful person that nobody likes and they won't know why. That goes for men and women
His ex still has pictures and posts of him, and she looks a lot like me, and has similar hobbies :((( I know im insecure or jealous but I feel like maybe I am a version of her that he wants, and maybe he doesnt really see ME....I feel sick thinking about it
What if I really resemble his ex wife, to the extent that her ex boyfriend mistook me for her at a party. I think I have her traits as well. She's very nosy and keeps nagging my man about me moving in or mocking me. I really don't know what to think or do. I feel terrible. I don't want to be anybody's copy or target.
I’m curious, so I recently was dating a guy where we were both so excited about each other I wasn’t always saying yes to his invites but we were texting almost 24/7 and he was bringing me to meet his friends, but I felt a shift after about two weeks when he was going home to Chicago where texting changed and I figured it would go back to normal when he got back. He texted as soon as he got back in town (w/o me prompting) saying we’d make plans but the next day we had been talking and all of a sudden he didn’t open my message for two days. Then he responded basically giving stressing about catching up on work as an excuse and asked if I wanted to do something next week to which I was like all good yeah let me know when you know you’re schedule. But I noticed the next day he had unfollowed his ex (i know I know) and I thought this was a good sign. By Monday I hadn’t heard back and I wish I hadn’t done this but I texted again with a slightly flirty but very chill text and told him when I was free 🙃 I didn’t hear anything back so I know I’m being ghosted and have since realized that something clearly happened with his ex (she recently followed him again and he wrote a not so subtle song about her) so I know it has nothing to do with me but I forgot my necklace at his place (obviously I felt like there was no doubt we would still be getting to know each other when he was back) and am trying to figure out how to navigate reaching out and getting it back while making sure he still experiences me as high value.? I wish my friend hadn’t wing womaned for me I told her I wanted to see if things happened naturally and I feel like she just got me in the middle of a very on again off again relationship (apparently his friend was telling my friend about it cause he was glad to see him with me and that it seemed like things were finally done)
I'll always feel like she's going to negatively compare me to her ex in every facet in life. Especially in bed. And if he was black? Take that sensation and triple it. I'm under the impression that I'm ethnically inferior to BM
Why even say “ she isn’t so great” . Yes some exes are great and we’re just not meant to be. Not every relationship ends because it s bad or toxic. People can be normal and mature and just understand they aren’t made for each other and move on happily even staying friends.
Its because many people dont get over their exes, especially men. So its just mostly fear that the person you are dating is still hung up ok their ex and will not love you as much as their ex because its their first love and you cant ever compare. Ive seen relationships like this where the guy never gets over it and always keep that person in his heart, and if he has the chance, he would go back to her. And thats where emotionally and physically cheating comes in. And you never feel good enough. Just look at princess diana and prince charles and camilia parker bowles. Prime example
Amen!
But there are also many many cases where women fabricate this issue based on nothing but their own insecurities. I've been in such a situation with an ex. I eventually got tired of telling her that my exs are in the past, and she deemed that to be proof that I was still in love with an ex that I was never in love with in the first place.
My boyfriend's ex relationship didnt worked out because he is the third party of someone's marriage. But i saw cry for her talking about how inlove he is because i was his go to "friend" but i was also in a relationship that time. Right now we are finally together but i still feel insecure because i am the opposite of his ex. His ex has a very big breat minus the ass. I have the ass minus tge breast. She has an east asian feature while i have the southeast asian feature with brown skin. I am si insecure. Our major fights are always about his past. I can't seem to forget how inlove he was i felt like i was just a rebound.
I read a story from a military wife who husband was a marine. He divorced her after reconnecting with a woman he was involved with at 19. It was after 20 years of marriage.
Exactly my worry
I'm not jealous about the exes. I feel turned off. It makes the person unattractive in my eyes that they had romantic attraction, physical interaction, etc. with such people. Sorry, but I do judge you by the people you dated.
I don‘t understand. So you feel turned off from you Partner because you don’t approve the Exes they chose. What does that say about dem choosing you then?
@@77raymann I don't think you understand his point. He is pointing to the wrong choices your gf/bf made in their past. I wish there was a way to also accommodate the fact that most people are jealous but also fear the return of the ex which happen in real life.
You last sentence, definitely killed💀🍷 thx for the idea
same
@77raymann it's an issue if they constantly talk about them
If the ex was so great, they wouldn’t be an ex.
Didn't even finish the entire video.
This comment just saved me.
I've been so dumb about my girlfriend's ex, wondering everything and overthinking it all.
Obviously she broke up with him for a reason, and she's with me for a reason. She loves me, and this insecurity is just silly.
Thanks for the wisdom
Enless it was the ex that ended it
OMG, you cured me!
@@dovahclone2607same, bro.
They could be an ex because your partner was the one who got dumped
To me, I have insecurities about if they were the right person for them instead of me, did their ex match them better, what hobbies do they have, how much more exciting are they than me, doesn't he compare me to them? Does my lack of something make them miss their ex even more? Did their ex dump them and they are just chose me so they're not lonely?
I can totally relate with you on this. So hard 😢
Same
It's actually really hard. I am just trying to put some wisdom within myself that it's just past and i too might have been thinking something else in that point of time.
I feel that it comes from a desire to be seen. It’s about identity and worth. Maybe the man isn’t doing a good enough job to make you feel seen and special like you are his ‘one.’ Hence, you doubt yourself with him because ultimately you don’t trust him with your heart fully.
Bro same though, sadly Im dying
I can't imagine anyone looking me up and being afraid or jealous me. That thought is beyond me. I'm the one who struggles with jealousy.
Beware of the people who will try to provoke this jealousy in you where is was previously absent.
That’s absolutely spot on
spot on
Sounds like me because he has no emotion to my past or life 😕
What I don't understand is when you dating a person and that person tells you that his relationship is over for good and his/ her still keeps their exe photos on their phones
They arent over them and would go back to them if the chance came around.
Ok lets talk about people that talk about there ex all the time! JUST STOP! I’ve dated a guy that would talk about her all the time for making me jalous. And it did! I am the opposite of jalous, but then he planted a little seed in my head and now I am allways thinking about if he still loves her. I’ve stopped seeing him now ❌. I will never see a guy like this in the future ever again. If he can not makes me comfortable and safe with him, HE IS NOT MINE 🙅♀️🚮 BABYE 👋
And you know what? Just in case you wanted the whole story 😂
He did that with a lot of women (he told me: if I could I could date two other girls but I don’t want to bla-bla-bla, etc)
I knew he wanted me to say that I don’t see anybody else when we dated but I did not say anything. If you want to know something honey, you need to ask me like an adult. Ladies, don’t feed those kind of behaviour. Let him grow from afar to become the best male version of himself.
(English is my second language, sorry if made mistakes)
I am aware that my retroactive jealousy is based in the fact that my fiancé has a daughter with his most recent ex. I have no jealousy towards their relationship, her looks or her personality. I'm aware it is due to my pregnancy history and a feeling of having lost out. It's a lot more complex than being hung up on his exs looks or sense of humor.
In the same situation. It's hard to accept that the person I want to be with and have children with has already done it all with someone else and done it for so long.
This came at the right time. I’ve been burned badly by my last relationship and jealous feelings have been coming up in my new and very healthy/stable relationship.
Yes! 100%! I feel like these intrusive worries are not relevant but are threatening to collapse a wonderful and healthy relationship
Same. Started dating this girl who is 43 with a 7yr old boy with her ex husband of 13yrs. They have a close relationship and even hug in front of me. She says she loves me and that we are meant to be together but I’m struggling so frickin’ hard not to tell her how I feel about her involvement with her ex. It’s killing me inside that they’re “co-parenting” appears to be wayyy more than that bc I see them being so friendly. I wonder if that’s a healthy coparenting situation or a bouquet of red flags. I’ve been hurt so many times in the past and I’m freaking out bc I’m falling for her but now questioning if I can deal with this indefinitely :/
@@michaelmazziano7 hows it going man? i hope you talked about it and everything's okay
@@tania8749 hey there… thanks for taking the time to ask, much appreciated. I still haven’t said anything. She also recently got out of a four year relationship with some cop that cheated on her and lied to her time and time again yet she went back for more. I don’t understand women anymore. I think her and I got together like 3-4 months after their breakup and o have a feeling she’s still not over him even though I’m literally 100x the man and partner that clown could ever be. I’m a good looking guy and have a funny personality but I’ve always struggled with I guess you can say jealousy or insecurity. Basically worrying that these guys are going to weasel their way back into her life and I’ll be the one left high and dry. It sucks having these thoughts so often but I guess this is the price to pay to “learn how to trust” and “be confident”. I literally feel like I have no voice and have to bury everything because I feel that if I say something I’m going to look weak and insecure and pathetic so it’s back to pretending that everything is ok 😀😂
I went out with a guy that was a widower and I started being crazy jealous of a dead woman, just had to finish it.
My wife and I have been married since 2005. Her ex husband died in 2016 and I still think about them being together. I know it’s crazy.
@@brookssmith7025 I am jealous of my crush's 6 exes
Audrey is just such a wonderful addition. I can’t emphasis this enough! She’s intelligent, articulate and voices many of the things I think about.
Audrey brings a feminine perspective to Mathew's views
Whats her surname? Like to watch more of her stuff
Yes
I feel it’s important to remember there’s no actual use in being jealous of your ex, or your ex’s new partner as the relationship ultimately didn’t work out for either party. It’s so much healthier to just let old feelings go and either leave it in the past or start a new chapter of friendship.
Some relationships don’t work out romantically but end up having a great other purpose if one can learn to let go of the things that don’t work
How do you let go? Im trying my hardest
@@joesillamanrs7189 I think it ultimately comes down to acceptance and a lot of focus on personal mental growth. Acceptance that things happen for a reason and that what’s meant to be will be, that different people come into your life to teach you something you needed to learn. Sounds cliché but dwelling in the past or feelings is not helpful for your own well-being
My boyfriend's ex relationship didnt worked out because he is the third party of someone's marriage. But i saw cry for her talking about how inlove he is because i was his go to "friend" but i was also in a relationship that time. Right now we are finally together but i still feel insecure because i am the opposite of his ex. His ex has a very big breat minus the ass. I have the ass minus tge breast. She has an east asian feature while i have the southeast asian feature with brown skin. I am si insecure. Our major fights are always about his past. I can't seem to forget how inlove he was i felt like i was just a rebound.
@@altshift_ I understand, it’s super normal to feel insecure. But maybe you’re projecting your own insecurities onto him for no real reason?
If you’re actually worried, maybe just straight up ask for the information you need/want calmly. Explain your intention and be honest about what bothers you and let him know that it’s not meant as judgement and be sure to not make accusations
Maybe he has a WHOLE other perspective that you can’t see because you’re stuck in your insecurities?
Literally look at it from a third person and take your emotions out of the picture
Edit, don’t compare physical attributes. It’s not helpful and it matters very little if you’re with someone who appreciates you for who you are!
@@emma1540 thank you my dear. I feel those insecurities when i am far from him. I do also feel that he genuinely loves me. And yes probably, I am the problem. I'm trying my best to stop being insecure. I hope someday Id be more cofident.
“She probably isn’t that great.” Maybe she is really that great but you still shouldn’t be jealous or insecure. Normally when you feel jealousy it’s your subconscious telling you that whatever you’re jealous of, you need to work on in yourself.
most times the man she wanted just wasn’t doing right by her so when he gets ready to do right she’ll be waiting for him to be there.
When my best friend started dating her partner years ago, she was obsessed with his ex girlfriend. She had downloaded this girl's photos from Facebook to her phone, and she was analyzing every single part of her looks, comparing the two of them. I found it quite shocking as my friend is one of the most beautiful and intelligent women you will ever meet. And still she had all these insecurities based on some stranger's pictures from social media. My friend and her partner got married last week, so as you can see her worries were for nothing. Bottom line, there is a reason why there is an X to it...cause this person is not in their life anymore.
Exes sometimes come back. I think that's why it's scary cause sometimes you just don't know if it's over or really over.. especially if the ex is the one to do the breakup.
@@shuragordon2199 I agree but at the end of the day you can't control other people's actions. There's always going to be someone who might want to interfere in your relationship, whether it's an ex or not, and if your partner wants to act on it, you can't do anything about it. I have been there so I know what it feels like. I wasted so much time worrying that something might happen and none of these relationships worked because these guys were simply not the ones for me. Social media definitely makes everything worse...
😮😮😮
@@shuragordon2199 .nm
What if i am just a rebound?
I actually wish the father of my 2 beautiful babies “previous husband“ the best of luck finding someone that makes him happy forever , I really want to hear that news that he found the love of his life and got married again.
I feel like I get this type of jealousy when I think of all the travelling they did together and I feel like he will never do the same or have this experience with me, and thinking like this makes me sad to the point where I cannot even hear about the places he's been to without feeling triggered and jealous.. I obviously hide that I feel this way because is kind of stupid of me. Also the issue was that back in the day I checked social media and saw all the pictures of them together while travelling for a year, it was at the beginning of the relationship and didn't feel any jealousy then, but months later after being together for some time I checked again and it totally made me hurt.. I decided not to check ever again.. I also started comparing myself to her thinking that she was more fun and adventurous than me..
I try to forget about it and think on the present, I feel like he adores me and he's said that he's very excited about the future together, but still every time his past travelling adventures come up I feel bad! Any advice on how to overcome this is very welcomed, I wish I didn't feel this way because is not fair on him either 😕 😢
There are some really good books on retroactive jealousy out there. Check some of them out and see if they resonate. They’ve been helpful on my journey, offering techniques to cope with it while in partnership. Mine stems from my dad abandoning me at birth. Somehow, it manifests in my relationships, attachment disorders etc. Best of luck!
Focus on making your own memories together. You have the opportunity to travel here and now.
He's with you, tho, right? You have him and his Ex doesn't, obviously for a reason. I'd be happy about that and look into travel you might want to do. Maybe other cities, countries, towns or continents he didn't yet get to. Also, if you marry and have children, how great to be able to take your kids with you on family trips that will be much richer experiences than either of you have had before. Good luck
@@stephh.3320 that's such a nice thing to think about, I definitely feel that the more time we spend together and places we go it makes it easier to forget about these thoughts about the ex or even not care. As you say I do think too that it is an ex for a reason, it's just the traveling part that bothered me 🤯
@@vanessae9425 thank you! I'll check it out, I think I do feel insecure sometimes and I need to remind myself of my value.. glad you've been able to find the path to healing 🙏
What makes me jealous is how he treated his exes.. not jealous of the person.. will he treat me more, will he exert more effort for me, will he bring me to places to explore, will he etc etc etc.. more for me..
Count how many times you said “me” in this one comment. Replace that with what you can possibly do WITH and FOR the other person. You’d be amazed at how far you go
My husband has been in a long-term relationship with his ex, he wasn’t over his ex yet before he met me. After he met me, he said he was completely over his ex, and no longer has any feelings towards her. But I still feel bitter about his past since his ex was the one who ended things and she cut him off, that’s why he couldn’t go back. I still feel if his ex somehow gave him a chance, he would go back at that time.
update??
Same issue.just the thought of it is dying.
I ruined my relationship from jealousy. My ex stated that he was friends with his ex, but it seemed too much. He texted with her daily, checked on her when she was sick, went to her house to fix things. After a date when he talked about her a little too much, I sent him texts asking him that it hurt and to please stop. He got angry and dumped me.
No sweetie,you didnt ruin ypur relationship.Hes so disrespectful and clearly not over his ex.The longer you stay,the deeper the wound get.
I’m sorry but I couldn’t be more pissed wtf. I felt horrible just from reading this so I can’t imagine how you feel. He is obviously not over his ex and isn’t even trying to hide it. He was using you as a rebound and had absolutely no respect for you and had the audacity to manipulate you into thinking you were at fault and that “you ruined the relationship”. Please get out of this situation and move on you deserve much better.
I lived this story
Currently going through this, except mine doesn’t get mad and is understanding when I bring it up but still they are friends and talk every day.
He ruined your relationship, you showed courage and strength
I totally relate to that and it has been tormenting me for months now . Now , I'm just making peace with the fact that right person will calm down your insecurities otherwise they're not the right person .
I know that what you said is true. I’m dating someone and I’m incredibly intimidated and insecure but he’s like I’m still talking to you… I do feel the right one would calm me down… not sure he’s the right one. 🙁
What can also be hard is when all his friends are friends with his ex so he can easily be updated on her if he wants to be.
The only time you need to worry about someones ex is when your partner keeps bringing them up in convo.
I think this video completely misses the point as only superficial attributes are discussed. The real problem is not the ex but the current partner who talks too much and in too great detail about the ex. THAT is what makes us jealous. Of course it is helpful to discuss previous relationships when getting to know each other but apart from that, one should spare the new partner frequent references to one's ex or even exes. If the ex is mentioned again and again, it's a sign that this might truly be a problem because the new partner might not be over his/her ex yet so the feeling of jealousy might also be an alarm bell and might be an indicator for what's going on in his or her mind.
One sentence that keeps ringing in my head is my partner saying, "she has qualities I wish you had". Stings forever!
Yes. This is what got me.
My boyfriend has said that he was, "head over heals over this girl" he only broke up with her because he caught her talking with his best friend. I guess she is an Only fans model now. And to him I am just beautiful, not gorgeous. I guess I am not as pretty to him. He also said he was obsessed with her for a few months. It hurts.
My partner is a songwriter and he wrote songs for his ex.
We started our relationship when he hasn't fully moved on from his ex. He was meeting me while hoping for his ex to be available.
I never been jealous of my past relationship's ex, but this time it's different because since I chose my partner, I knew i was just a rebound. Fast forward to 2023, we are 3 years and 6 months together now. But I found something I should've not seen and I saw the songs he made for his ex, i couldn't help but get jealous for what I have read.
I asked him to get rid of the paper he wrote the lyrics and he refused and being defensive. It makes me feel like he's not done with her and I get so frustrated and feel like a rebound eventho we're together for 3 years now.
@@museunlimitedinc4261 hello, thank you for that. An update after 3 months, me and my bf is now doing great together. I overcame my jealousy and focus on what we have now, i decided to focus my energy to myself too. Do things that is going to make me more attractive for myself and for my sanity.
Now, we're focusing on our goals together. It was indeed hard for the both of us, we almost broke up. But i realise, i have the most loving relationship and i can't afford to lose it just because of my jealousy.
@@museunlimitedinc4261yeah I have to agree. Been with my boyfriend for 10 yrs but even he still has old photos of his exes on social media from the years to 2008-11 but they were highschool GFS, he had 2 serious relationships before me but again it was only HS and he dated them both for only 10-11 months..so not that long. He was still messing with one of his HS exes right around the time him and I met but once me and him got closer he let her go, she tried coming back 4 years afterwards bc her bf she was living with at the time wasn't making her happy anymore and I think she was coming back to him in hopes he'd be her back up bc that's what she use to do before I came into the pic but I wasn't having it I knew what she was doing, he originally thought "oh time has past maybe she's changed and just needs a friend" lmaoo i didn't care, I gave him the ultimatum and made him choose just as I did in the beginning of us talking, i told him either its gonna be me or her and he picked me so i told him to block her bc i was tired of seeing her all over his social media and she needed to go back to his past where she belongs, now. She had a lot of nerve thinking she could just simply come back after it's already been years since they even talked to each other and I was tired of him entertaining her as well bc he was still worried about her wellbeing.. I was going nuts. But all that took place 6 yrs ago and everyone finally moved on. Haven't had any problems like that since.
But yes he still has their pics on social media but he doesn't look back at them and miss the memories or anything, they're just there and it's his past. Just doesn't belong in our relationship lol
I've been in a relationship where I was compared to his ex & his first and since then it's always really messed with my head. I don't know if it's trust issues, insecurity, constantly comparing--- maybe a mix of all--- but it drives me insane and I feel like I'm not capable of having a relationship. I genuinely don't believe that the person with me actually has me as their first choice and I'm not just a placeholder.
Okay, girl trust me with this, i have sooo been in this situation and I ik it sucks it’s the worst feeling tht one could ever have , I have even talked to his ex she had the audacity to disclose each n ever small romantic detail of their past dating life and since they had dated for a year and us not even months, but after a point I realise . Uk talking to guys about their ex it’s their turn off. If the guy really loves you n if ur comfortable enough share these feelings with him .am sure it might be an uncomfortable conversation but you would realise it’s worth it. And “don’t let the past blackmail the present and ruin the beautiful future” remember.
I've met my Stepdaughters father, he was such a boring, sloth like weirdo it didn't bother me at all, the guy she dated and before and after him I took as a threat ( I've never met him " same guy ", but he was portrayed as Mr personality, the bee's knee's. I'll hopefully never will meet him, all I can do to beat this is by becoming the best version of myself.
You know, it’s not the stuff about the ex talked about in this vid that bothers me. It’s that she has the power to get my husband to text her late at night or call her when I’m at not there. Is it just me or is this real cause for “jealousy”?
Actually we are more jealous with our boyfriend’s/ ex’s new gf than old ones!!😃🔥
Then you are still in the process of letting go…
Being dumped a couple months ago, then finding out my ex find a new guy after two weeks… lets just say that I understand to some degree how that feels
My threat is when I've actually had exs, but at time, f*** their ex that they said nothing was there. Dropped them. They call them exs for a reason.
Great video, but what about the situation where your partner keeps bringing them up in what looks like intended comparisons?
My problem is his ex still runs in his close friends circle so he sees her four times a month. And on top of it, she broke up with him and he was trying to get back with her at the beginning of our dating. But now he says he’s over her. I don’t know if I can trust that as he also refused to make things more serious with me during our early dating stages because of her and she’s been texting him consistently until a few weeks ago. He told me he had a recent talk with her to stop what they’re doing as he’s ready for me, but it’s really hard to trust him or the ex.
I'm really late on this but are you still seeing this guy? If so I hope he blocked her bc he if is serious about you then there's no reason as to why she is still even in the pic.
But how to deal with the thoughts of what they did together?
Imagine being controlled by another someone's ex girlfriends that you never dated or only can if someone else says so.
If the man compares you to his ex, and vice versa a woman compares her ex to a new guy, then move on. Find someone else.
so he’s never talked about his “ex” but my sister told me he has a hard time getting over girls and the girl said he asked why they stop talking last yesr
I’ve been through severe acne and it is the main cause of my retroactive jealousy.
What if your drunk partner says, after 8 months of relationship, that the only woman he ever deeply loved was his first love, with whom he keeps in touch and she keeps in touch with his mother ??
That's not good at all. leave him.
Yeah that's not good. Sounds like he's missing his ex and you're just the placeholder.
What if my boyfriend keeps being friends with his ex? Like a few times a week they chat in social media and stuff. He says it's nothing, and never hides their chat or his phone. I still feel insecure...
any update Diana ? I hope you're well.
So if someone finds reason to be jealous of an ex.....there are probably deeper than the surface issues. Of not an ex.....then what else? Time to cut the cord and mature up
When he cheating on you and he want to bragging to make other girl jealous on purpose to make them feel good about there self and it's not right that was wrong what he did because I don't think when some one else do the same thing back.
my previous partner made me feel insecure in our relationship and disrespected our relationship a few times. i have a new partner and he is amazing but i find myself being jealous or hurt by the other woman in his life and ik that’s not fair to him but how do i stop feeling that way?
I like u guys and will get in touch with Lottie to become a member. Love Matthew, Steven, jameson and Audrey...What a girl Matthew 🤩 Forget about the ex clear some photos and take more of yourselves. Audrey go on you are beautiful 😍
5:41 GREAT QUESTION
Wow. My new partner's ex started following me on my very not-popular Instagram account (5 follower) today. And then this video comes up.. creepy
Well done Matthew, Audrey and Jameson, Great video. Audrey you are growing 🤩😍🥰
I think people are really concerned about wasting time with someone who still pines for their ex.
They are an ex for a reason 🤷♀️
Hi everyone! I just watched this video in search for understanding my situation. I am putting everything on me and thinking how I am just crazy, insecure, controlling and what not for feeling like this. This is what is happening. The man I am in a commited relationship with has a very close friendship with his ex, they are basically just not having sex now but still talk for hours over the phone at least few times a week, supporting each other, hanging out, going to movies, dinners, concerts, hikes… He is saying they are just friends, he loves me, he is showing up and at the same time something about that relationship is really bothering me, I am not in peace. Like something is off. And I was questioning myself and I still don’t have clarity. I don’t think he is lying about having sex, no, it’s not about sex, and yet… this all seems just “too much” for me. I am trying to understand. Not that we cannot have other friends and people in our lives, relationship is not a prison, not at all, but it seems to me that they are too entangled and too involved into each other’s lives. What do you think? Please share. Thank you so much in advance! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
And also last time he turned off his phone when he went to meet with her. What the heck is that?
Now when I am writing this I am realizing that this bothers me more than I was even aware of.
This would be a different situation as this actually involves your current partner still having an *intimate* connection with their ex.
Some people may say that reassurance would suffice but personally, I would ask for my partner to set boundaries with their ex. Talk it out. If your partner truly loves you, he would value your feelings more than he would his ex’s.
Dear, I feel you, it's the exact same situation with my partner and me. He and his ex have been in a comitted relationship for six years and he refuses to give their still lasting friendship less room in the present. It's not that I ever wanted to compete to anybody, for sure almost every person a certain age has a past and it's perfectly fine to have close bonds to friends outside the relationship. But he brings up their shared couple moments constantly. I figuerd he even uses her name as password ... At this moment I have not been brave enough to meet her yet out of fear of their dynamic together right in front of me, but perhaps that's wrong. As Mathew so beautifully points put in this video: we don't know actually what the ex feels about our partner and maybe the intimidating portrait is one-sided... still I can fully relate to your situation. Keep it up! He'll show you what you're worth to him and if not - you deserve better and will find them! 🫶🏽
Im in the exact situation with my husband now, and it’s burning me out. He’s still best friends with his ex wife that were married for over 8 years. They’re like besties, he tells her everything, they work together, so lunch together everyday, hanging out non stop. They are also incredibly similar to each other, almost like his twin. In the beginning I was completely okay with it, until I started to think, is she closer to him than me? She definitely knows him longer than I do, she knows more things about him than I do, and she’s wayyyyyy similar to him than me. It all makes me very insecure and angry all the time. Unfortunately I confronted him many times, but nothing seems to change. I really love him, but I don’t know how to deal with all of this, it makes me very annoyed and uncomfortable 😞
I couldn't take it
Thank you for this, it was really helpful and was needed
My boyfriend's ex is still part of the friend group and I hate it. Because she USED to be my friend years ago. And she unceremoniously dumped me. Only for years later to find out shes my new boyfriend's ex. And she's got no fkin sense of boundaries.
The ex used them. Anyone after that gets seconds
I dont want to be my an ex of my bf thats for sure. It would be terrible for the other woman.
What if you must torture yourself by the presence of the new partner of your ex wife after divorce? how do you rationalize that?
what do I do if my bf still follows his ex?
Ive hung out with super hot women and many are absolutely dumb as rocks or complete drama or both. Its sad really
Really it's not their fault they've never had to develop a personality or be honest or be nice so that people will like them because they're attractive people like them no matter what feel bad for those people because one day they're going to be older and not attractive and they're just going to be a bitter hateful person that nobody likes and they won't know why. That goes for men and women
His ex still has pictures and posts of him, and she looks a lot like me, and has similar hobbies :((( I know im insecure or jealous but I feel like maybe I am a version of her that he wants, and maybe he doesnt really see ME....I feel sick thinking about it
If you are worse than his/her ex they WILL resent and eventually HATE you, dont lie
How do I work though my own jealousy of my man’s ex, when they are still friends, but she won’t meet me doesn’t like me and he thinks it’s fine.
What if I really resemble his ex wife, to the extent that her ex boyfriend mistook me for her at a party. I think I have her traits as well. She's very nosy and keeps nagging my man about me moving in or mocking me. I really don't know what to think or do. I feel terrible. I don't want to be anybody's copy or target.
My loving boyfriend refuses to block his ex on instagram and im going crazy!
Why tf u keep ex on insta??
Thats so awful man!!
Well thanks Matt, I just ate a fig before watching this video and now I feel uncomfortable :P
😂 I was just eating figs 😂
I’m curious, so I recently was dating a guy where we were both so excited about each other I wasn’t always saying yes to his invites but we were texting almost 24/7 and he was bringing me to meet his friends, but I felt a shift after about two weeks when he was going home to Chicago where texting changed and I figured it would go back to normal when he got back. He texted as soon as he got back in town (w/o me prompting) saying we’d make plans but the next day we had been talking and all of a sudden he didn’t open my message for two days. Then he responded basically giving stressing about catching up on work as an excuse and asked if I wanted to do something next week to which I was like all good yeah let me know when you know you’re schedule. But I noticed the next day he had unfollowed his ex (i know I know) and I thought this was a good sign. By Monday I hadn’t heard back and I wish I hadn’t done this but I texted again with a slightly flirty but very chill text and told him when I was free 🙃 I didn’t hear anything back so I know I’m being ghosted and have since realized that something clearly happened with his ex (she recently followed him again and he wrote a not so subtle song about her) so I know it has nothing to do with me but I forgot my necklace at his place (obviously I felt like there was no doubt we would still be getting to know each other when he was back) and am trying to figure out how to navigate reaching out and getting it back while making sure he still experiences me as high value.?
I wish my friend hadn’t wing womaned for me I told her I wanted to see if things happened naturally and I feel like she just got me in the middle of a very on again off again relationship (apparently his friend was telling my friend about it cause he was glad to see him with me and that it seemed like things were finally done)
I love you guys
What if an old hookup texted her asking for sex? Mine entertained him before blocking him
And no I'm not jealous with no one so you think I'm joking with you I'm not I am being serous about that so there😁🤭😜
I am very very happy wooo 💃🤭😁😊.
what if their ex was a complete scum and you're ashamed of their past?
I'll always feel like she's going to negatively compare me to her ex in every facet in life. Especially in bed. And if he was black? Take that sensation and triple it.
I'm under the impression that I'm ethnically inferior to BM
Why even say “ she isn’t so great” . Yes some exes are great and we’re just not meant to be. Not every relationship ends because it s bad or toxic. People can be normal and mature and just understand they aren’t made for each other and move on happily even staying friends.
Matthew, did you REALLY have to say that about figs?! I LOVE figs and may never eat one again, NOW that I know! I was happier not knowing!! 😐
first viewer commenter! :)
3rd!!
First!
2nd