The Benefits of Rejection | Magna Gopal | TEDxJerseyCity
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ก.ค. 2024
- When we think of Salsa dancing, we think of big smiles, fancy moves, and people having fun. Rejection rarely comes to mind, though it is a very common aspect of a social partner dance. Using her own experience with rejection in dance, Magna will take us through her journey of personal growth and improved relationships.
Magna Gopal is a leading instructor and performer in the international Salsa dance industry and is renowned for her pedagogy, her creativity, and her philosophy. Magna Gopal is a leading instructor and performer in the international Salsa dance industry and is renowned for her pedagogy, her creativity, and her philosophy. She uses the richness of partner dance to provide a deeper understanding into ourselves, our relationships with others, and the dynamics of communication.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
The Longer you spend time with wrong person or wrong activity the less time you have for the right person or the right activity
Good word thanks!!
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Thank o
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Thank iOS so
That's deep
Summary:
1. Don't take rejection personally. Everyone has a different reason to reject, it could have nothing to do with you.
2. Learn from rejections. Ex: modify own body language to be more open, ask people with more open body language
3. When giving rejection, use the mindset: "I'm just being honest with what I want and what I can give" (better to say no than say yes and not be 100% present)
4. The key when giving rejection is empathy.
thanks didn't want to watch entire video
you did not loose anything.
Steven Zhang Thank you for the summation
Good cliff notes for those not interested in the story. 😉🙏Thanks!
You're absolutely right. Now I will not feel some type of ways about being rejected. I appreciate that.
I heard the story of a boy who went to a disco and asked a girl to dance. She replied "no". So he asked another girl ("no") and another girl ("no" again) and a few more, until he finally got to a girl who said yes. And he noticed that she is intelligent and more interesting than the previous girls. They danced all night together and then started dating. The point is... rejection sometimes hurts , but sometimes it also leads us to the right destination. You never know.
thanks needed to hear this!
:)
Thanks for your refreshing perspective. I appreciate it 🙏🏽
Sounds like 100% story of mine.... and one day I had pleasure of dancing💃 with Liz Lira who is 25 times world champion in Salsa dancing💃 😉🔥😜😜
Good 4 U & thanks 😊
“Rejection” is good for the soul- it keeps us humble.
Most men are humble already in modern day society. And women receive rejection such few times that it has almost no effect.
@@mylesanderson2861 what a joke. We all get rejected, men, women everyone. I have many times. Now I'm training to be a counsellor.
@@charlottebruce979 I meant to articulate this better but so many people who talk about rejection have been rejected less than average.
@@mylesanderson2861 I'm in door to door sales and man people don't let you down easy😂 I'm currently trying to get comfortable with rejection since ITS LITERALLY IN THE WAY OF DOING MY DOING MY JOB😂
@@ctto9525 😬
She has such a beautiful speaking voice.
Thank you Adesola! 🙏Perhaps that's why my students can sit through my lectures. Lol 😊
I just can’t understand how she got rejected being good looking, nice try though..👍🏻
Yes she does
She is beautiful on the whole
@@magnagopal u r beautiful soul too
Everyone gets rejected: it’s part of life 🙏🏻💗 Keep dancing 💃
My poor father I’m sure was scared of rejection, scared to upset people…he didn’t know how to say NO.
He worked non stop, in factories, it helping family every single second…he never stopped…it broke my heart to see him never stop…
And my mother was used to seeing him work, she encouraged it instead of telling him to relax….dad ended up having close to a thousand people come to his funeral , he was so humble, but so luved and no-one forgot what he did for them…but he didn’t live his life how he wanted, he never stopped to smell the roses, he never went Italy to see his family like he wanted to so much…he only lived a life pleasing others and helping everyone but himself…..I cry a lot thunking about him, he deserved a different life….and no he’s gone forever and I can never fix it for him….I cry so much for him and I don’t know how to stop….he was the kindest man you could know…
I see this writer is just like is dad same at your service guy. Nobody tell him that the man so interested in Italy 🇮🇹
Rejection is redirection! Thank God I learned to look deeper into rejection and not be hurt..
if thats how you deal to cope with it.
@@Mr_Elusive763 you sound bitter, hope you find your way!
@@laurendilaurentis6467 Please explain in what way did I come across as bitter. And What way do I need to find?
Chris harris “if that’s how you cope with it” you sound cynical. like... yeah that IS how she copes with it, why’re you saying that lol
@@laurendilaurentis6467 I have a problem with when people are unable to just accept reality. There always have to be some deeper meaning behind it. For example, if you try out for the basketball team and don't make then its probably because the coaches didn't think you were good enough period. But people will try to flip it and say it was a reason I didnt make the team. Yeah its because you wasnt good enough. Now if you want to use this moment to learn how to deal with failure then you can but to say it happened so you can deal with failure I say no and learn how to put your ego aside and deal with life head on. Did that help you understand my way?
I was rejected from college twice I felt bad and depressed but I didn’t stop trying and I took it as an advantage to learn a new language now I speak 3 languages...rejection is actually a redirection from god ✨
So what do you do with 3 languaged and no qualification now?
Fabulous Chick that is very true.
Does that type of rejection really even matter? That type of rejection isn't based on you specifically and personally, the people rejecting you don't know you.
Actually it’s my story as well my friends, i thought i was the only one, I am living in Haiti, and thanks to a rejection now i’m able to speak English, it’s very useful and thanks to being able to speak english i may get a scholarship in a foreign country. God’s plan
I speak English, German and Hindi so what should i do with them ?
Rejection is the universe telling us something better is coming along.
Well said
Thank You
Rejection is the very first step towards acceptance.
How can you truly enjoy acceptance if you have never experienced rejection?
They are two sides of the same experience coin.
Rejection is the first step to watch more ejection....
if you get started on the path of being rejected you'll get a long way along that path
true that
Not just enjoy acceptance, but also APPRECIATE acceptance.
It's so hurtful to be rejected. Whenever i am, i try as much as possible to involve myself in positive thriving activities. With time it goes away. As humans we cannot control the feelings of human beings towards us but we can control ourselves. We all have to power in us to avoiding taking rejection personally.Thank you for sharing.
She's helped me to put rejection that I've recently suffered into perspective. It helps a lot. I think I'll have to listen to this a few more times for it to really sink in.
Glad to be of assistance! 🙏❤️
You're getting men to say no to you not because they reject you, because they're too intimidated to dance with you. Point is, sometimes it's not you that is the problem, it's the other person actually. Thanks for the talk you have a golden voice respect 👍🏾
Amen! NO means that there’s a better YES out there! Manifesting and claiming it! I receive it! ❤️🙏🏼✨
I love this because I have dated so many women that weren't interested and honestly dealing with them being apathetic, ignoring you, showing no interest when they go out of their way for another guy, saying they are busy 2 seconds after they said they were bored and had nothing to do on social media, etc. hurts a million times more than if they would have just said, "no." You get your emotions deeply involved just to feel played with.
Sorry to hear that has happened to you. I find it hard to understand why a woman would do that. I hope you have found one of the genuine and lovely women out there.
She is one of the best dancers in the world of salsa now
Thank you! I'm still working at it. =D
Rejection is God’s protection
Yes I believe too
Old Man hendo nAH Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to me. I pray you allow him to change your life and eternity as well
Bullsheeshh
May you be forever prtected ...
@@darthvalar4377 I'm protected from romance very well. :-(
Thank you Magna. I've been avoiding the acceptance of rejection. I read a comment on a different video and that person said go through it. It's the only way out. You've built upon those words for me to start to see the wisdom in facing the crippling fear I've been living with. Right from my heart I thank you.
She’s beautiful. I think that makes this more impactful.
How she probably got rejected very little and it was probably in the past.
@@mylesanderson2861 shows your myopic narrative that rejection is only about looks...or that looks prevent all rejection.
Hope you can divorce the meaning thoughts give things...those are often a distorted perspective, born out of conditioning and programming starting in childhood, carried further by society.
Free your mind... your thoughts cause you to suffer.
Just goes to show you that physical beauty does not exempt you from rejection.
@@brentduanefoster exactly. I'm happy you were able to put it into words that were easier to accept.
@@mylesanderson2861 yep. True.
She is flames. How could anyone reject her
i think she's lying, she barely gets rejected.
I was thinking the same thing...
+Kevin Oduor Would she go to Ted and make a huge presentation about dancing Salsa if she wasn't? Pancakes also can be stored in the freezer you know.
Did you listen to her story?
You lack an ability to think outside yourself. You think she's pretty so she must have no problems and never get rejected, that's actually extremely shallow. Pretty well to do men reject pretty women a lot, a skilled dancer will reject a less skilled dancer, someone with more status will reject someone with less it goes on and on you're very naive.
Growing up being rejected from social groups and workplaces hit me hard. The sadness still lives with me today. We have to be so careful with our words when rejecting someone in any kind of way. They carry what we've said to them for life.
This is metaphoric of relationships too. I love this talk. Glad she put herself out there and did it.
Just got rejected, but it feels good cause it’s finally of my chest. Doing gods work 🙌
It’s hard to belive that anyone would reject her. She is the most talented salsa dancer in the world!!!
So bizarre how this video appeared at the right time!
Thank You ♥
I recently faced a rejection ☺️
One of the best speeches i ever listened on Ted X 👍
Much appreciated! Thank you 🙏😊
Had no idea you were so well spoken and self-aware, Magna! I've seen videos of you dancing your very fun, light hearted, personal style and I've always said "one day I'll learn to be my authentic self on the dance floor like her!" After this talk, (I'm also a self help junkie) I'm inspired by you even more! Keep up the good work!
Thanks Lita! I appreciate that! 🙏🙏❤️
My life must be one big benefit. I've always been rejected. I have the spirit of rejection over me for as long as I could remember. And I don't know why. Others flow easily through life and always accepted and appreciated. It is very painful.
Your rejecting yourself, accept and love yourself. See what happens. People love people with positive open energy.
Am ready to accept you
we are twins
@@JourneywithKasitti the better for us all
Thank you! You may be right.
She is stunning 🥰
What about her intelligence?
Wow. So much wisdom in this. I've said yes when my entire gut was saying no, and I wasted my time and the other person's. So true. The inner definition of rejection needs to be neutralised instead of demonized! Thank you so much, Magna for this one... Perfect timing for me to listen and absorb this universal truth x
The speech just hit home. I can’t believe when I found this speech. I am learning to deal with rejection. I recently found out that I love ballroom dancing. I didn’t realize this is connected to dance. I am impressed.
Man, she's incredibly gorgeous :D
Her intelligence is even better.
but often rejected?
@@pierricclot6544 sounds untrue
@@smendes2004 totally agree!
True words.
Direct and straight down the line.
My yes is my yes and my no is my no. Once one honours one's emotions and intuition, you truly are alive.
Great talk! About much more than "dancing!" When to say yes and no...and accepting responsibility for how we show up☺
I needed to hear this video - one of the BEST I've heard!! I am now at the age of 49, able to say NO to negative people & to say YES to properly caring for myself, setting boundaries with compassion & to learn from the pains of my past & turn them into GOLD. I am doing spoken word, creating art, writing & I now facilitate groups sometimes & am returning to SCHOOL in less than 2 months!!
Thats great, I hope you are doing well.😃
The title alone caught my attention. Her message echos loud and clear the divine sentiments of the book James. We are reminded to count it/the experience all joy when we fall into diverse trials for it gives us endurance and completeness in all respects. Solid truthful reminder.
I love her point about how we fear rejecting others because it seems socially acceptable.
👍The first word my parents taught me was “no”. When I grew up, I asked why and they said they wanted me to know how and when to say or receive a “no”. There have been plenty of times in my life when I knowing how and when to say or receive a “no”. 💞
I've been rejected from posting this message! But I kept on keeping on and here I AM :)
Great talk. You are not only a phenomenal dancer, but an engaging and intelligent speaker.
She got rejected asking for dates!? I don't know man, she's gorgeous, well spoken and intelligent... The perfect woman for me lol
Tyler Cooper ..beauty isn't everything !!
SHE,S SOOO CUTE
She got rejected by Chad and Tyrone, she got dates with guys she didn't want tho. Hardly an "expert"
She is Indian, we get rejected all the time
bobby midha really!? I find Indian women to be the most gorgeous women
Magna is such a wonderful and inspiring woman, I feel so grateful to have met her in real life she helped me a lot with my insecurities, we don’t deserve such a woman
This is a very important video that everyone should watch!
I really enjoyed this talk! Many great pearls of wisdom. (The empathy part ❤️👍) I love hearing how people find universal principles in the things they do 😊.
If you where a denser you would understand how useless empathy and compassion are when they rejecting your dance proposal
You may never see this...But Magna Gopal!! Thank you for stepping up to share this...AWESOME AND easy on the eyes... :)
Great points in this speech about learning from rejection and learning to say “No” from an honest place.
A wonderful and impressive lady and a short and spear pointed presentation I learned from, and which I will remember and hopefully be able to practice on and live by.
I am so happy to hear it had a positive impact on you. Thank you for sharing!
@@magnagopal I'm 57 years old now...wish I had learned to say "no" when I was younger. And receiving rejections & moving on with a smile...is what life is all about.. ( easy to say...difficult to practise) thank you for answering & being such a wonderful person.
Kudos Magna. I miss personally seeing you in the salsa scene. What a great talk. Well delivered and well nailed!
True
Thanks, Charissa! 🙏❤️😘
@@magnagopal agree with Charissa 🙌💖🙏 (left u a link to a dance 💃 clip I found of u 😉)
Thank you for sharing this positive message and understanding of rejection. I have never dealt with rejection in a good way and I am going to take what you have provided and apply to my new soon to be dating life. Thank you for having the courage and passion to share this information.
Look, my home town! Looking this up because I was jus rejected for a position that I was certain I had in the bag. The interview and follow-up went so well but no dice. These TED talks have really been helping to me to own why I'm rejected and not let it rip me apart.
Glad to hear this could be of some help! 😊🙏
Great talk.... I guess ive been very fortunate to have lived my life despising being anywhere Im not wanted. I have been rejected many times but it had very little effect because of that.
So inspiring from one of the best dancers in the world
I fell in love and got rejected and learnt to let her go in these 17 minutes of her speech ❤️
And now I respect her a lot.
Very deep topic;rejection...rejection very helpful video for a lifetime.brilliant personality.
Always a pleasure! Love this speech and always enjoyed your salsa classes. Thank you Magna!
Have u attended
I Love this woman. I'm so happy you made this, it helps our community of Salsa Dance Lovers. I have to say no a lot more often. I'm in Miami now, we have lots of dancers with different styles. I am afraid of getting hurt or Cross Body Leading someone into danger. Love You Magna.
I love everything about her analogies and examples because they force you to recognize the root of why people say yes = because we don’t want to hurt others. It’s a natural human response to something because we do not ever intend to hurt someone, despite our genuine lack of interest. However this speech helped me understand my problem, once I rejected myself. I genuinely like being liked. My whole life I went about my day with most people liking me, my energy, my effort, the way I spoke. It was a serious wake up call to me when I was rejected by someone who ONCE liked me, I dismissed and he KEPT chasing me. I ended up dating him out of pity, I had IRRATIONAL anger around him, I was never amused by what he said to me but he was SUCH a nice, genuine guy that I couldn’t say no. The worst of it all, I knew he wasn’t for me but I couldn’t bring myself to understand I wasn’t good for HIM. He lifted my ego, praised me, showed me undivided attention but I, being the selfish egotistical girl I was back then, just rolled my eyes and bathed in his affection. Until one day, he decided he deserved..better. I was appalled. Better? Than ME? Everybody likes ME though, how could YOU not? My serious, embarrassing issue was that I had never been rejected before. Never been shown that someone wasn’t interested. But that day my outlook changed. Suddenly I liked him more, couldn’t move on from him when he found someone who GENUINELY loved him. After all the time we spent together - I no longer meant anything to him.
That’s what brought me here. The reflection of being rejected. Because it helped me realize that understanding someone can most certainly CHOOSE not to say yes to you/dance with you/anything you wanna compare it to, they have the RIGHT to say no. And for whatever reason they want to - NOT taking it personal is key. They are telling you that they’d rather not waste their time and although they don’t wanna hurt your feelings, they aren’t obliged to participate if they themselves wouldn’t be enjoying their time.
I said yes to second dates with men I barely remembered the names of and I felt entitled to their attention. But this video (and some therapy) helped me understand that this is..toxic. I thought I was being nice but the opposite of nice isn’t pity. It’s fairness. Respect yourself enough to learn that rejection for both parties isn’t personal, it just means they/you don’t wanna waste their time when their entire heart/head isn’t into it.
Magna, thank you for sharing your insight on rejection. Honesty is the best defense.
So many times in my life but I am still stronger.
Beautiful person inside and out
This could be one of the most powerful and most important speeches ever, to show to the sosial media generation growing up today!!!!
This was so impactful. Loved all of it. Thank you for this!
Thank you! 🙏You might find some more useful & insightful videos on my channel. Look forward to reading your comments 😊
Healing words - medicine of the soul!!!
👏👏👏👏 I love this! Makes a lot of sense. Now I will never feel bad about being rejected.
MAGNA = Magnificent! Keep on dancing everyone!!!
This was amazing!!! Enjoyed all the lesson and wisdom shared!
This was so well written!! And she did a great job speaking. I agree with everything
Arria me too.....
Have listened to this a couple of times now. The delivery is just on point...
Thank you! :)
this was very good explanation of rejection and it is ok to receive and give rejection as well. At the end it is about respect to yourself and others.
that is so true about salsa dancing especially in the beginning until I got better. she is right the concept of it, the rejection made me want go improve until i got better, instead of sulking to the back of the room I went to class 3x a week and going back to beginners class in 3 months I improved 6 months I could read the guys leading and I grew comfortable and confident..salsa dancing is a life lesson.
practice makes perfect. Glad I clicked on this.
everything she said is true!!
This is a VERY good jewel.
Thank you 💖
She is a great speaker!
The speech is so beautiful & speaker too
Wow. She is just stunning.
It is great to see that rejection is not biased so all kinds of people get rejected and have to deal with it.
first time I ever comment a Ted talk. two words: amazing speech !
Great advice...she’s an amazing dancer
This talk brings me on a journey like a roller coaster up and down. HUUUu
Love it. She is right 🔥🔥
She looks stunning ...what a presence..
This is such a great talk - thanks so much!
As you described how you reject others kinda made me sad lol as I reflected on how I was rejected by someone I fell for.
This is how we all should have been raised to interpret rejection, the other way makes us so polarizing in how we want to try again that to think of it this way is like discovering life after death. Also I think you have to know what it is to lose, to truly appreciate and realize when you win.
Magna Gopal, this is really like a next level of feeling rejection from a different professional life that stands so resonating with any general rejection faced in life. Thanks to TEDx to bring you on the global platform of sharing. Your talk makes me see the purpose of TEDx justified. Really, great talk. Nice to know a little bit of living in the dance industry too.
Thank you for taking the time to listen and I'm glad to hear the content of this talk resonated with you. I'm trying to post more content related to these issues that we all deal with. Have a look at my channel. You might enjoy some of the videos. 😊
@@magnagopal 🙌💖🙏
great analysis on rejection and salsa parallels
The only problem is the salsa is not true.
They would be true to some extent if she were a guy.
@@pfavayi if you're referring to her claiming she was being rejected, you're correct. I grew up around salsa clubs and groups, being Puerto Rican, and pretty girls never sat on the sidelines.
This is one of the best talks ever! So many great lessons.
Strong woman. Appreciate her honesty.
This was really liberating. Thankyou so much Magna!!!
With pleasure! Thank you, Anjali 🙏
Salsa!!!! 💙💜 Amazing speech! Much love from Croatia.
🙏😊❤️
I wouldn't say no a salsa dance with you ! Please come to south Africa 🙂.. But in general being rejected sucks in the moment, but more often than not .. It's a blessing in disguise.. I often look at the girls that rejected my proposal to date and I think " thank the Lord you said no !"
She never gets rejected and she never asks guys for dance - they come to her just like happens with every other girl who dances
Thank you. I needed to hear this.
With the utmost respect, I have to acknowledge the fact that Magna has to be one of the most beautiful ladies in the entire universe, with a lovely voice and obvious intelligence to boot!!!!
You are too kind! Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it. Come join me for my live chat/Q&A on my yt channel on Sat at 12p. 😊 If you've got any questions, you can ask them there.
@@magnagopal You're very welcome sweetheart. I would love to join the live chat/Q&A on your youtube channel on Saturday at 12. Thanks to you as well!
Creatively spoken !!
ya you are so right. thank you😊😊😊
Totally can relate to this. This was a really good talk.
Can u share urs own experience
Brilliant, thank you! 🙏🧡
Beautifully said
She’s breathtaking
So beautiful!!
Great talk Magna! I can only agree from my salsa dancing experience, because I was an absolute beginner when I was in my early 40s and now at a more advanced level I rather reject and be by myself and enjoy music than be with someone who is not able to follow properly. Lots of ladies come with 0 experience to parties. So when being rejected myself I know exactly why this is. Either it is about the person rejecting which I cant do anything about, or it is about our future experience which most probably is for ghe benefit of both of us. What great lessons dance can teach us!
True true but some one did say yes to you inexperienced that got you to the advanced level 🤷♂️