It's not "a generation", it's natural and human to need social validation. We are not made to be alone or relu on ourselves, we are made to seek and belong to a group.
our generation focuses on social validation more that any other generation nonetheless, mainly because of social media being born around the same time we were.
Hi guys! Thanks for checking out the talk, I really appreciate you taking the time to watch it and hope you take something away. If anyone has any questions, just leave a comment. I will be responding to each one!
Many of us we feel the same, but this rejection hits really hard when someone is very young. Like 11 or 13 or even before 20, it's hard. I am 29 and sometimes I feel the same.. rejection...but what i have noticed that those were very wrong choices!
There isn't any problem with rejection. The real problem comes with accepting that bs that other human's thoughts about us is more valuable then our self talk about ourselves. Those are only opinions but our self talk can change everything. Praise yourself for anything you can and do know you are unique it will help you to get over it.
But our desires are important. If my desire is to attract a women I'm in love with and the love isn't returned to me because I'm not good enough for her, then it means there's something wrong with either me or my desires. I can't change my desires but I can change myself. But sometimes whatever we do to fix ourselves and make ourselves more attractive isn't enough. And thus depression sets in
@@shalukashyap272 I can totally relate to that. But being alone is an opportunity to reboot yourself. Do things for yourself and your parents. Hobbies have always helped.
You know whats even worse than friendzone or rejection? Actualy getting them but not being their first choice or being like the bridge to their next relationship.
Im currently 26. I never got my feelings recipocrated by the women I fell for. However on the other hand I never went through a break up or divorce yet so I got that going for me.
+Cam Adair wow our paths are so unbelievably similar, except for me instead of hockey it was the guitar. I was studying to be an engineer and now I'm 30 and feel like I have to start over. I feel like I'm just now waking up :/
+Cam Adair wow everything you said is exactly me. even to the point of similar likes. I have a passion for DJ, traveling, and want to be an entrepreneur. Right now i'm going through a tough time but want to follow my passions just like you did. Your such an amazing inspiration and the speech gave me a lot of motivation. hope to hear/see more of you! hope to find my happiness like you did yours someday :/
Thanks for telling your story. Rejection sucks & is painful. I still experience it quite a bit even after a lifetime of dealing with it. People generally don't want to be a friend unless they get something from you. When you don't have anything to give, the people who still call you are true friends.
*>Rejection sucks & is painful. I still experience it quite a bit even after a lifetime of dealing with it* You're a friggen genetic aristocrat. You've never been rejected in your life.
Everyone has to deal with rejection. Everyone. Even Princess Diana, arguably a beautiful and charming woman, was rejected by her own husband. And what does genetic aristocrat even mean?!
This is surprisingly good. I just hate it when nice kids get bullied; I wish I could've given him a hug. Suffering as a kid does give the adult some type of deepness and sensitivity though.
Scars are souvenirs we never lose... The scars on my psyche remind me of my long history of rejection. Never the less, I maintain my ambition & self worth. What more people should realize, is that often times the people who reject us, didn't deserve us in the first place... #themoreyouknow
I really identified with this video. I'm 32 years old and have never opened up to anyone about the rejection that I've felt since middle school. Tonight was a hard night but I'm glad I saw this vid
I hear you man...Im 36 and all the trauma from rejection in our teens and 20's just adds up and leads to more pain and in my case depression.. But its never too late to realize that your value is not measured by what other people think. Only you can place a value on yourself. all the best.
29 on the same boat, I was kinda hiding in my house since about 10 years now to try ignore the reality I experienced, from weekly violance with my father to bullying in school and getting nothing done in life since then. This video was great for me and it *will* be my turning point NOW. thank you guys
iv opened up before about it to the very group of people who rejected me in the first place. you will never guess what they did and still do to this day. ignore me
It's Cam! We just crossed 250,000 views!!! That's amazing. Thank you to everyone for your support. It means so much to me that my story has resonated with you and I still appreciate every comment I get. Onward to 500,000!
so happy for you and how much you have overcome. even your ability to stand on a stage and share your story is truly incredible. "sometimes the hardest challenges in life put us directly on the path toward the best things that can ever happen to us." :)
Game Quitters this was awesome thank you 🙄 you seem so sweet i dont see why you went through so much rejection i wish i could find more friends or a guy like you
The cure to rejection is to be sure of yourself, while recognizing that everyone is a puzzle piece, just like you. Constantly analyze everything that you believe, say, and do. Discard everything that doesn't hold to your values, and above all, the truth. The more you do this, the less your confidence in yourself will falter.
I am 18, yesterday I got rejected by a girl I like! It was painful for sometime but actually I'm happy .. I do not know why some people confuse rejection with depression end up being sad! I'm actually feeling great that I had balls to go to her straight and approach her which does not ever happen in my country, India. I want to get rejected more actually and be an entrepreneur ! A top entrepreneur. See you at the top Mr. Cam.
stundown Hey! Thanks for watching and sharing your story. So cool that you are 18 and you had the courage to approach a girl you like. Have a great day :D
+stundown That is very brave and going for things is the way to do it. All entrepreneurs in the world have had rejections and failed at certain things. You just keep working on things. Tony Robbins helped me a lot in my life.
+Cam Adair Hello Cam. How are you doing today? Do you have your own bar now? I have been wishing for a bar where they play ambient music like CBL and project my art work on to the walls and ceiling. I wished someone could make my art work move and stretch in a video.
Well from my experience, it's a battle of perception when it comes to approval or rejection, if a person perceives you as "right" they will accept you, if they perceive you as "wrong" they won't. It is really just a projection of their inner values outlook and not yours. Because universally speaking there is no right and wrong just different. Edit: Thanks for the like count guys.
+Cam Adair Thanks you so much for your speech. It was super inspiring and I connected with it to on such a fundamental level. I am struggling with who I am right now and what I want to do with my life at 18 and your video reminded me of where my priorities should be set. I subscribed to your channel!
I've been rejected my whole life. I'm 26 years old and I've never had a girlfriend, sex or even kissed for that matter. This is the main reason for my depression. No matter what I do, women just don't like me.
It's so true, these types of things can leave lasting scars, I was rejected by all of my school friends in my final year, pretty much spent the last five months talking to nobody it turned me from one of the most sociable friendly people into a closed off, guarded and closed off for fear of rejection, I am 24 now and finally realise that that simple event has been shaping my life and interactions for so long, I'm leaving that behind from now on, I will no longer fear rejection
yussy yascaleinen Hi! Thanks for watching and commenting. It's powerful when we realize the we've been giving past events more power than they deserve. Proud of you. :)
+Cam Adair your talk was really amazing,specially the last 3 minutes.........its about 2 years,i cant even smile like i used to,it destroyed me in every way possible internally :/
In Sweden nowdays schools can be sued if they let persons bullie others. Because of that, schools now stops this cruelty. Reson you were bullied was that grown ups did not do their job. It can happen to anybody, it is random, but it is the obligation of grown ups to stop and prevent. Being bullied in school makes life long damage to a person. It should not happen to anybody.
Its my belief (and experience) that bullying in school often *starts* with a teacher, either bullying the student in class, or subtly giving permission for other students to bully their classmate.
@@paulwary Usually no, teacher doesn't start it, but often teachers LET IT HAPPEN. Sometimes NOT doing something has as much impact as getting up and doing the thing
Everyone is different. Someone you may be attracted to may not be attracted to u. It happens, that’s life. But someone along the way is gonna say yes, that’s just inevitable
I just got indirectly rejected, but I feel much better now. I feel stronger! There are plenty of girls in the world, if they don't want you they don't deserve you.
This was really nice to watch! It's just so ridiculously stupid how kids love to choose someone to pick on, or even older people who sometimes seem to try and bring others down just so they can feel good about themselves. All that related to low self-esteem or fear I would say, but the one who suffers rejection can never see it that way and the damage can sometimes be permanent. I myself have felt rejected many times by people I never expected it from and unfortunately it has shaped the person I am today. Can't seem to get attached to anyone anymore but on the other hand I can never treat anyone badly. Being rejected made me become more sensitive to other people's feelings and that might be a positive point about it all - trying to make up for all the selfishness people deal with daily. This whole experience made me fall into Psychology where I'm extremely happy now to finally help and understand others. I guess everything truly happens for a reason. Thank you for sharing your story with us, Cam! Thank you for your courage and good will! You're awesome and don't let anyone make you believe otherwise. Keep shining your light to many others who need this kind of support you're giving! A big hug all the way from Brazil. God bless you!
Ariel Grushka Hey Ariel! Thanks for watching and leaving your comment, it really means a lot to me! Hope to come visit Brazil some time! Have a fantastic day! :D
Ariel Grushka Yes, Ariel, for some reason people that has experienced bad things from other people develop a non-offensive attitude and an empathic sense that don't let them hurt anyone because they understand and respect people and their feelings... Good video, Cam...
Eamon Cao Haha oh yeah! Gotta love TED talk! They're always good and it's amazing how some of your points of view can change in like 10 minutes with these videos lol
+Ariel Grushka Im rejected by a fascist system that forces me with its armed bullies to support it while it hurts me for not fitting the mold it expects of me, but I suppose Ill just think me responsible for doing what it is that must be done to change my situation, because of course, if I could, I would. Yup, Ted is the epitome of reverse psychobabble, brainwashing at its finest.
Excellent talk! I came here after watching Jia Jiang's talk about his 100 days of rejection. I absolutely love the message of "Be brave and take the leap. If you fall, that's okay. Get up and try again, building upon your mistakes." Never give up, never allow doubt to take control of your life. "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today." - Chinese Proverb
I am 62 yrs old and still feeling the rejection that started in my home and elementary school. I find myself isolating myself a lot. Thanks for the video
I recommend you to (Dr Steve). He can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance, ever since he helped me, I have b e e n enjoying a perfect Relationship with my ex. I will advice you seek his help thanks.🙏
My mother said, when i was rejected by a girl i really liked, "This happened because God loves you son." I was confused, now i understand. Thank you lord for your protection against jesabel spirit! In your plan i trust! 🙏
@@earthlingavian1132 Amen. There were women I loved in high school, and I had been told rumors that girls love me but I couldn't because their spirits were ungodly. So I prayed and waited, and God found me a partner. And I pray He'll do the same for you
Mariela D. So their was this guy that came up to me last year while me and my friends were eating lunch he said some girl thought I was cute, I thought it was a joke, but in reality they said she liked me. Seeing as the school year was going to end cause summer break was two days away I didn’t get a chance to talk to her. The next school year I have seen this same girl time to time in the hallway going from class to class. But today while going to track practice after driving school I saw her we made a good 2-3 second eye contact. I suddenly had the urge to approach and talk to her. But then something told me what if I get rejected, and that might be weird to talk to her about something last summer. Should I approach this girl and what would I say?
I just want to thank you Cam! The moment you said "You are not alone" in the end truly hit me and I started crying immediately with relief listening that. My history is not of many rejections, but full of the fear of being rejected, so I related so much with yours. I take your words very kindly and I want to seek my own change. Thank you again!
Humans bully others to make themselves look good for social validation--- this happens in every school and any workplace you go to But learning a skill by yourself, and gaining knowledge is priceless, and that is something to be proud of...this guy is good and i enjoyed this video.
Thank you for a very real talk. I have also spent a lot of time trying to find purpose, but the more I think the more it seems nothing has any purpose. All we can do is pick something to aim for and let that be the purpose for any action that will take us in that direction. Then it all comes down to persistence. As long as your aim is on target, keep marching. "It's easier to act your way into a new way of thinking, than think your way into a new way of acting." Jerry Sternin
Hey! Cam here. Thanks for commenting. I have a video on my channel about finding purpose that I think you'll resonate a lot with. It's less about us having a "purpose" and more about us defining purpose for ourselves. Viktor Frankl's book A Man's Search For Meaning is great if you haven't read it.
I've been rejected romantically so many times, I've never been in a relationship. At 18, my heart just shut down and I haven't felt romantic attraction or love since. I'm 26. I don't believe there's someone out there for everyone. Some of us are doomed to die alone. That realization first filled me with hate, then sorrow. Now I'm numb.
Caleb Jesus Christ loves you and if you seek him he'll bring you the right person, those people that rejected you were not for you , even though it hurts
Bro just be the best version of yourself. Don't think too much about it. Focus on becoming a better person. Work out, get a hobby, meet people with similar interests etc. eventually you'll meet that right person.
@@LW1Tok No just Lie, Cheat and Steal, ruin them before they ruin you .......I treat all people with disgust and contempt apart from my parents ......now do one!
Thank you for this Video Cam, it has really helped me in my own time of darkness. And some parts of it, I plan to write in my journal, and review them for inspiration. Thank you!
Rejection in this day and age is a funny one. In tribal times, rejection from the group meant almost certain death, at least after several months. That's why we react so strongly to 'rejection'. These days, we can be rejected superficially, but as long as we can do impersonal office jobs and get money, we can be almost completely separate from the tribe, whilst still contributing to and benefiting from it. It's dangerous, how it leads to undetected depression.
@Keep Moving Forward As human beings, we are still social animals. We crave meaningful friendships, relationships etc. - even introverts/loners want some human contact once in a while. Think about how much we innately learn about reading social cues etc.
Yea it hurts getting rejected by coworkers especially since you really dont know the reason why. But life goes on and theres billions of people in this world to connect to, dont let one insignificant circle determine your worth. Atleast that's what i try to tell myself.
This still happens and now the bullied are throwing their lives away to fight back. I really wish these videos talked about the worst parts of existing.
That was really a beautiful sweet talk. I am up in the middle of the night not able to sleep thinking about this subject. My heart broke for you in your early days, however what you learned from it really help me tonight in the middle of the night. Thank you for your brave testimony.
Really a fantastic motivational speech! It actually helps when trying to cope with different kinds of rejection 🥺. It doesn’t always have to be the guy who’s not into you or the job you wanted but didn’t get. Sometimes it just feels as if life rejects you as everything you’re trying to improve your situation actually seems to make it worse. But then again, call me naive or not, I still believe Cam is right after all. Maybe rejection just shows you that what you’re doing is not the right thing after all, so you gotta keep on moving on, not giving up, and just keep on trying.
Very well spoken.Good for you Cam! I'm 62 and could use a lift after a lifetime of this sort of thing. Glad you've figured things out an d turned life around much earlier.
Well, the only reason why those kids in his hockey team bullied him was because they feared him and they feared what he represented and they feared and knew that at the end of the day, he was the better hockey player.
I too was bullied, made a pariah and reviled. I felt unaccepted, disliked, and all I wanted was acceptance. After I began to love and accept myself, all that negativity disappeared.
Cam you are an inspirational leader! Thank you for being willing to share your painful memories and sharing what you've learned from them. This talk is really powerful.
I've tried being rejected many times whether it's about love or career. I had a fair share of being so down but I didn't let the negativity stuck in my head because I know everything in this world is just permanent, and so as my heartaches.
This popped up in my recommended videos. I always feel lonely even when I’m with a group of people. I believe that’s when it’s at its worst. I started going out more to social outings that interest me like poetry/music events and have been struggling to open up to people because they don’t really open up to me either and it feels like a waste. I also have a fear of rejection because I always expect the worst. I’m still trying and to be more positive I keep a journal which I share weekly about the good things that have happened to me on a daily basis. I plan to do this for the rest of my life.
I’ve been rejected all of my life started in school was bullied and then rejected and used by different men and friends. Every time I thought I had a friend would be one sided friendship. I’ve learnt rejection isn’t bad it’s God’s protection. It hurts but now I accept what it is and try and move on
Thanks so much for this encouraging, inspiring and personal message! It has made a BIG impact on me, opened my eyes and lifted me up at very difficult time in my life.
I totally agree with him about being more vulnerable. You cannot have deep friendships without being vulnerable. Rejection has helped me to be more kind and compassionate toward others.
Wow! I am sending this one to my son right away. He believes moving to CANADA is going to solve his problems. Trump isn't making it any better! I know he will find it very disappointing. He loves being outside, and he doesn't play hockey. I wish he could meet you and have a conversation. You guys even look alike. I hope he watches this. We can learn so much from others, but he may have to learn for himself, like you did. He has suffered from so much bullying and abuse in his life too, and he has always run away. Thank you so much!
Great talk, Cam, important subject done very well. Well done! --- I was /programmed/ to feel rejected at an early age and that lasted right up until recently when I had massive major surgery which has triggered something wonderful in me, and I am beginning to enjoy life for the first time.
Rejection gives you direction. Well said. Simply don't focus on those who don't like you. Never look at them ever again and move forward and if they come back to your life then don't accept them. Just move forward and never ask/nor manifest them to life about seeing them again. If the person has looks or no looks and if he or she rejected you then leave them behind. You just time travel forward without them. Don't accept their apologies nor agree to drink coffee with them. Never look back. Move forward. Find people that do like you, and stay with those people. USA. 2022.
This talk really spoke to me. You know what? Failure is to be expected. If you never take risks, you never fail. Rejection simply means that you want more than you have and are willing to pursue it.
Rejection feels tough, because the same brainarea activates as when feeling real physical pain. For evolutionary reasons. Back in the day, we couldn´t survive on our own, we had to be part of the group. (Of course, we still need others, but we are able to live single and survive.)
@@Crownliving - or they don't like responding to random people over social media. I know it's the accepted default male ego, but not every woman is going to be interested in you (I know wherein I speak), but there are a LOT of women out there and you're statistically likely to find someone you are compatible with if you keep at it.
I know exactly what you are talking about Started in 3rd grade and I'm suffering from it until now I'm having at least one panic attack a day I lost weight and now everyone calls me beautiful and they tell me what a wonderful person I am....but I just can't believe them I spend every day crying and anxious, making myself an outcast
Best TEDX talk I've ever watched, just because of the fact you've shown that there are other people like this who have a limited social life/intimate relationships and with no idea of where their life is going, you're an inspiration, thank you
"Don't let someone's opinion of you become your reality", Les Brown
Great quote! -Cam
Not if that person thinks highly of you.
I like the flag fellow Iranian
If lots of people have the same negative opinion of you then that's basically your reality.
Antony Silverstone what if it is becoming
Social rejection is especially hard for members of a generation that has been conditioned to put such an intense emphasis on social proof.
yes for sure. -Cam
It's not "a generation", it's natural and human to need social validation. We are not made to be alone or relu on ourselves, we are made to seek and belong to a group.
our generation focuses on social validation more that any other generation nonetheless, mainly because of social media being born around the same time we were.
yep, which means we have to be that much more diligent to ensure we are growing up healthy and productive :)
This really hit home for me.
Who came here after they got rejected by someone they like ?
Hang in there you've got this -Cam
im here what do you see
lol I did 😢
Me I got rejected twice
im here what do you see and cyber bullied
If you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth But you got to be willing to take the hits.
Only brave people take the initiative to approach their crush. Also, I think the pain of staying silent is worse than getting rejected.
Yup
Nope it isnt
@@pricemutikisha4888 For me, being silent is worse.
@@mesopotamialover905 ok then speak for yourself.
@Average Internet User I know ...
Rejection is great ... It's the easiest and quickest way to find out who to stop spending your time on 🤣
That... makes me feel better actually, 🙄
The bright side!
Love this and will be using it as a quote. Thank you
Lol true
I prefer matter-of-fact rejection over mixed signals and polite bullsh%t anyday
Hi guys! Thanks for checking out the talk, I really appreciate you taking the time to watch it and hope you take something away. If anyone has any questions, just leave a comment. I will be responding to each one!
Many of us we feel the same, but this rejection hits really hard when someone is very young. Like 11 or 13 or even before 20, it's hard. I am 29 and sometimes I feel the same.. rejection...but what i have noticed that those were very wrong choices!
I just got out of a four year relationship. This talk really helped me. Thank you!
was it frustrating to hear the laughter? it was quite insensitive of them
Hi Cam, l know it´s been 3 years but hope you still could answer a question, how did you manage to make longer lasting friendships?
I've been rejected whole my life. I'm still trying to get rid of that
There isn't any problem with rejection. The real problem comes with accepting that bs that other human's thoughts about us is more valuable then our self talk about ourselves. Those are only opinions but our self talk can change everything. Praise yourself for anything you can and do know you are unique it will help you to get over it.
Absolutely agree :)
A social worker recently told me that You have to like yourself better than other people's judgments!
+Greg White _ Many Thanks for those words
But our desires are important. If my desire is to attract a women I'm in love with and the love isn't returned to me because I'm not good enough for her, then it means there's something wrong with either me or my desires. I can't change my desires but I can change myself. But sometimes whatever we do to fix ourselves and make ourselves more attractive isn't enough. And thus depression sets in
thanks man! :D
Cam, you know what really impresses me?? You respond to people's comments. You care. Thank you for your example. You. Are. Inspiring.
Tracy Robbins Thanks Tracy! Made my day. :)
Cam Adair very comforting and informative.
Im 3 years late, but I also took notice of this. Great speech cam!
He was too nice to people. That's the reason. People don't give respect to givers. I know by experience
Yep, I'm a pleaser too and I hate it.
My whole life is being a giver and result is i am a loner now, i am living with my parents feels like i am safe and protected.
Being nice is fine, not having self respect is not. At least that's my perspective.
@@shalukashyap272 I can totally relate to that. But being alone is an opportunity to reboot yourself. Do things for yourself and your parents. Hobbies have always helped.
What's the solution then?
You know whats even worse than friendzone or rejection? Actualy getting them but not being their first choice or being like the bridge to their next relationship.
What zone is this?
Im currently 26. I never got my feelings recipocrated by the women I fell for. However on the other hand I never went through a break up or divorce yet so I got that going for me.
Glad you're looking at this on a positive note. 😊
It helps to look at the bright side of things. "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" as they say.
You will.
Women that dont respond back are not for you. You probably better off anyway.
MGTOW get better and be the best version of yourself!
I'm 29 and only just acknowledging the impact that a lifetime of rejection has had on me. Thanks for this
Wish I was your age and fight for change.
Quality of friends is better than being superficially liked by many. That’s my route.
100,000!!! We did it!! Thank you everyone for your support, it truly means the world to me.
+Cam Adair wow our paths are so unbelievably similar, except for me instead of hockey it was the guitar. I was studying to be an engineer and now I'm 30 and feel like I have to start over. I feel like I'm just now waking up :/
+Ex EddieB Hey! Thanks for sharing. It's all good, you can bounce back. Shoot me an email: cam@kingpinlifestyle.com, I'd love to help out.
+Alessandra Cappiello Thanks for your message! Means a lot to me. :)
+Cam Adair wow everything you said is exactly me. even to the point of similar likes. I have a passion for DJ, traveling, and want to be an entrepreneur. Right now i'm going through a tough time but want to follow my passions just like you did. Your such an amazing inspiration and the speech gave me a lot of motivation. hope to hear/see more of you! hope to find my happiness like you did yours someday :/
+mitchel voloshin You will! Keep going, you've got this. :)
Thanks for telling your story. Rejection sucks & is painful. I still experience it quite a bit even after a lifetime of dealing with it. People generally don't want to be a friend unless they get something from you. When you don't have anything to give, the people who still call you are true friends.
Hi Shelly, Cam here. Thanks for watching. have you read the book Give & Take by Adam Grant? I think you'll find it interesting.
+Game Quitters No, thanks for the referral. I'll check it out. ☺️
true
*>Rejection sucks & is painful. I still experience it quite a bit even after a lifetime of dealing with it*
You're a friggen genetic aristocrat. You've never been rejected in your life.
Everyone has to deal with rejection. Everyone. Even Princess Diana, arguably a beautiful and charming woman, was rejected by her own husband.
And what does genetic aristocrat even mean?!
This is surprisingly good. I just hate it when nice kids get bullied; I wish I could've given him a hug. Suffering as a kid does give the adult some type of deepness and sensitivity though.
Thanks for watching. -Cam
The world needs more sensitive , empathetic people.
@@Replenishyourheart KL, seems like waters run deep within you, you deserve a hug too
Scars are souvenirs we never lose... The scars on my psyche remind me of my long history of rejection. Never the less, I maintain my ambition & self worth. What more people should realize, is that often times the people who reject us, didn't deserve us in the first place... #themoreyouknow
yep! and everything we've been through has helped us get to where we are today. -Cam
So you're saying that we a better than the people who rejected us? In experience, that's not true.
Penile 1 In my personal experiences, it's the truth.
Amazing words - moonwalked 9705
I can totally relate.
Much love ❤️
moonwalker 9705 that's very beautiful
I really identified with this video. I'm 32 years old and have never opened up to anyone about the rejection that I've felt since middle school. Tonight was a hard night but I'm glad I saw this vid
+ryguyiskindofaflyguy Thanks for sharing, glad it helped :)
I hope you're doing okay my friend.
I hear you man...Im 36 and all the trauma from rejection in our teens and 20's just adds up and leads to more pain and in my case depression.. But its never too late to realize that your value is not measured by what other people think. Only you can place a value on yourself. all the best.
29 on the same boat, I was kinda hiding in my house since about 10 years now to try ignore the reality I experienced, from weekly violance with my father to bullying in school and getting nothing done in life since then. This video was great for me and it *will* be my turning point NOW. thank you guys
iv opened up before about it to the very group of people who rejected me in the first place. you will never guess what they did and still do to this day. ignore me
I have experienced rejection so much that I can just rub it off and move on.
Rejection pro
I know the feeling ...
ong bruh
Ong bruh.
girls come and go
It's Cam! We just crossed 250,000 views!!! That's amazing. Thank you to everyone for your support. It means so much to me that my story has resonated with you and I still appreciate every comment I get. Onward to 500,000!
great speech Cam. . I've added it to my 'inspiration' list 😀 hope all good for you x
Thanks Andrea!
so happy for you and how much you have overcome. even your ability to stand on a stage and share your story is truly incredible. "sometimes the hardest challenges in life put us directly on the path toward the best things that can ever happen to us." :)
Thank you Rachel! Really means a lot. -Cam
Game Quitters this was awesome thank you 🙄 you seem so sweet i dont see why you went through so much rejection i wish i could find more friends or a guy like you
I've never gotten a single yes. I gave up and am happier now.
wishing you a wonderful day -Cam
Feel you bro
Me too🤟🤟
Urbanscape667 same :(
💯
"Don't follow your bliss. Be your bliss." Wow, Cam. Thank you for being vulnerable. This is raw and authentic. I can't thank you enough for sharing.
Thanks for sharing your feedback Jennifer! Really appreciate your comment. :)
The cure to rejection is to be sure of yourself, while recognizing that everyone is a puzzle piece, just like you.
Constantly analyze everything that you believe, say, and do. Discard everything that doesn't hold to your values, and above all, the truth. The more you do this, the less your confidence in yourself will falter.
Thanks
I am 18, yesterday I got rejected by a girl I like! It was painful for sometime but actually I'm happy .. I do not know why some people confuse rejection with depression end up being sad! I'm actually feeling great that I had balls to go to her straight and approach her which does not ever happen in my country, India.
I want to get rejected more actually and be an entrepreneur ! A top entrepreneur.
See you at the top Mr. Cam.
stundown Hey! Thanks for watching and sharing your story. So cool that you are 18 and you had the courage to approach a girl you like. Have a great day :D
+stundown That is very brave and going for things is the way to do it. All entrepreneurs in the world have had rejections and failed at certain things. You just keep working on things. Tony Robbins helped me a lot in my life.
+Cam Adair Hello Cam. How are you doing today? Do you have your own bar now? I have been wishing for a bar where they play ambient music like CBL and project my art work on to the walls and ceiling. I wished someone could make my art work move and stretch in a video.
Nicki LovesDogs Thank you my friend.Good luck to you too.!
+Nicki LovesDogs Hey! :)
Well from my experience, it's a battle of perception when it comes to approval or rejection, if a person perceives you as "right" they will accept you, if they perceive you as "wrong" they won't. It is really just a projection of their inner values outlook and not yours. Because universally speaking there is no right and wrong just different.
Edit: Thanks for the like count guys.
yes I agree :)
+Cam Adair Thanks you so much for your speech. It was super inspiring and I connected with it to on such a fundamental level. I am struggling with who I am right now and what I want to do with my life at 18 and your video reminded me of where my priorities should be set. I subscribed to your channel!
Thanks for the message!
I've been rejected my whole life. I'm 26 years old and I've never had a girlfriend, sex or even kissed for that matter. This is the main reason for my depression. No matter what I do, women just don't like me.
Thanks for sharing. Read Models by Mark Manson, it will help a lot.
"'Rejection gave me a chance to start again." Awesome. I will tell myself this positivity next time when I feel rejected. Thank you. ^^
It's so true, these types of things can leave lasting scars, I was rejected by all of my school friends in my final year, pretty much spent the last five months talking to nobody it turned me from one of the most sociable friendly people into a closed off, guarded and closed off for fear of rejection, I am 24 now and finally realise that that simple event has been shaping my life and interactions for so long, I'm leaving that behind from now on, I will no longer fear rejection
yussy yascaleinen Hi! Thanks for watching and commenting. It's powerful when we realize the we've been giving past events more power than they deserve. Proud of you. :)
nothing is more painful than rejection :(
+vampirekabir Hi! Thanks for watching! It's painful but it can get better and it seems counterintuitive but it can also be an advantage! Keep going.
+sargon lagash thanks mate :)
+Cam Adair your talk was really amazing,specially the last 3 minutes.........its about 2 years,i cant even smile like i used to,it destroyed me in every way possible internally :/
+vampirekabir "the truth is there wasnt a reason why me,it was just me " that was really inspiring
+vampirekabir Happy it helped! :)
In Sweden nowdays schools can be sued if they let persons bullie others. Because of that, schools now stops this cruelty. Reson you were bullied was that grown ups did not do their job. It can happen to anybody, it is random, but it is the obligation of grown ups to stop and prevent. Being bullied in school makes life long damage to a person. It should not happen to anybody.
Thanks for sharing -Cam
Its my belief (and experience) that bullying in school often *starts* with a teacher, either bullying the student in class, or subtly giving permission for other students to bully their classmate.
@@paulwary Usually no, teacher doesn't start it, but often teachers LET IT HAPPEN. Sometimes NOT doing something has as much impact as getting up and doing the thing
It makes me happy to hear because my school life in Sweden was horrendous.
Sweden is lost. You can't even slap your kid a little without going to prison.
Rejection is such an important part of life. It's really a critical learning experience.
it builds resilience! -Cam
Everyone is different. Someone you may be attracted to may not be attracted to u. It happens, that’s life. But someone along the way is gonna say yes, that’s just inevitable
I just got indirectly rejected, but I feel much better now.
I feel stronger!
There are plenty of girls in the world, if they don't want you they don't deserve you.
This was really nice to watch! It's just so ridiculously stupid how kids love to choose someone to pick on, or even older people who sometimes seem to try and bring others down just so they can feel good about themselves. All that related to low self-esteem or fear I would say, but the one who suffers rejection can never see it that way and the damage can sometimes be permanent. I myself have felt rejected many times by people I never expected it from and unfortunately it has shaped the person I am today. Can't seem to get attached to anyone anymore but on the other hand I can never treat anyone badly. Being rejected made me become more sensitive to other people's feelings and that might be a positive point about it all - trying to make up for all the selfishness people deal with daily. This whole experience made me fall into Psychology where I'm extremely happy now to finally help and understand others. I guess everything truly happens for a reason. Thank you for sharing your story with us, Cam! Thank you for your courage and good will! You're awesome and don't let anyone make you believe otherwise. Keep shining your light to many others who need this kind of support you're giving! A big hug all the way from Brazil. God bless you!
Ariel Grushka Hey Ariel! Thanks for watching and leaving your comment, it really means a lot to me! Hope to come visit Brazil some time! Have a fantastic day! :D
Ariel Grushka Yes, Ariel, for some reason people that has experienced bad things from other people develop a non-offensive attitude and an empathic sense that don't let them hurt anyone because they understand and respect people and their feelings... Good video, Cam...
+J Aurelio Puente Thanks for watching! Definitely agree. Hope you're having a great day. :)
Eamon Cao Haha oh yeah! Gotta love TED talk! They're always good and it's amazing how some of your points of view can change in like 10 minutes with these videos lol
+Ariel Grushka Im rejected by a fascist system that forces me with its armed bullies to support it while it hurts me for not fitting the mold it expects of me, but I suppose Ill just think me responsible for doing what it is that must be done to change my situation, because of course, if I could, I would. Yup, Ted is the epitome of reverse psychobabble, brainwashing at its finest.
But how is this possible? All media told me that all canadians would be nice at any time. My whole life is a lie...
haha we are pretty friendly though! just maybe not this time :(
If you preface a beating with "I'm sorry but we got no choice but to be doin' this EH?" it makes everything A-OK.
@@CamAdair you're cute boy bravo
Seriously! Can you imagine mean people in a country with universal healthcare?! I'm crushed!
hahahhahah
it's lonely on the growing edge...lonely is not caused by lack of intimate connections but not 'self connected'...
At 42 years old, I’m still traumatized by rejection in my youth. I marvel at those who have overcome it.
Thank you for sharing your story!
❤️🙏
50,000 views! Thank you to everyone for watching and leaving your story in the comments. They really mean a lot.
Mine is the 1 millionth view. Hoorayy😉👍🎯
this moved me to tears because it felt like you were talking directly to me and it's motivational!
+TheCruzanqueen So happy to hear that! :)
+Cam Adair you gots girlfrand?
+xoxXOXO l single ;)
thank you so much! I was bullied a lot at school just like that!!! and also at work just last year. I know what this feels like.
Thanks for sharing! -Cam
Minimalism & Nonduality who would bully you?
Minimalism & Nonduality bullied for what? Being pretty?
“Rejection is not you”
I love that.
Excellent talk! I came here after watching Jia Jiang's talk about his 100 days of rejection. I absolutely love the message of "Be brave and take the leap. If you fall, that's okay. Get up and try again, building upon your mistakes." Never give up, never allow doubt to take control of your life. "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today." - Chinese Proverb
I am 62 yrs old and still feeling the rejection that started in my home and elementary school. I find myself isolating myself a lot. Thanks for the video
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Your story is similar to mine only at 51 I am only starting to find myself now. Great talk, helped me realise I am not alone. Cheers. Sean
seant126 Hey Sean! Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback. Really happy to hear you enjoyed it. You aren't alone. :)
I’m watching this because I got rejected so hard I cried
Poor thing. I hope you are feeling better now. Rejection hurts.
Sorry mate i hope you are doing great and keep improving yourself in all areas.
Please don’t let this unravel you and affect you,
especially if you’re sensitive. Ain’t nothing but a thing.
Wonderful....Bravo.....Love yourself even if the WHOLE world is against you
If you’re an outsider I feel like the universe is trying to tell you you’re made for bigger and better things
Rejection is God's protection, I can testify that's true.
Amen
My mother said, when i was rejected by a girl i really liked, "This happened because God loves you son." I was confused, now i understand. Thank you lord for your protection against jesabel spirit! In your plan i trust! 🙏
@@earthlingavian1132 Amen. There were women I loved in high school, and I had been told rumors that girls love me but I couldn't because their spirits were ungodly. So I prayed and waited, and God found me a partner. And I pray He'll do the same for you
Whatever helps you sleep at night
Mariela D. So their was this guy that came up to me last year while me and my friends were eating lunch he said some girl thought I was cute, I thought it was a joke, but in reality they said she liked me. Seeing as the school year was going to end cause summer break was two days away I didn’t get a chance to talk to her. The next school year I have seen this same girl time to time in the hallway going from class to class. But today while going to track practice after driving school I saw her we made a good 2-3 second eye contact. I suddenly had the urge to approach and talk to her. But then something told me what if I get rejected, and that might be weird to talk to her about something last summer. Should I approach this girl and what would I say?
Rejection makes you feel worthless, took the time away from smoking to watch this. Glad I did.
99% of people in this world hate genuinely happy people- Do you know why? BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT FAKING IT.
Most people are. Sad sad sad!
I like making happy people unhappy. Makes me happy.
@@thereisnosanctuary6184 Nice bait
“Rejection is a compass”… I love that
I just want to thank you Cam! The moment you said "You are not alone" in the end truly hit me and I started crying immediately with relief listening that. My history is not of many rejections, but full of the fear of being rejected, so I related so much with yours. I take your words very kindly and I want to seek my own change. Thank you again!
Humans bully others to make themselves look good for social validation--- this happens in every school and any workplace you go to
But learning a skill by yourself, and gaining knowledge is priceless, and that is something to be proud of...this guy is good and i enjoyed this video.
Thank you for a very real talk. I have also spent a lot of time trying to find purpose, but the more I think the more it seems nothing has any purpose.
All we can do is pick something to aim for and let that be the purpose for any action that will take us in that direction. Then it all comes down to persistence. As long as your aim is on target, keep marching.
"It's easier to act your way into a new way of thinking, than think your way into a new way of acting." Jerry Sternin
Hey! Cam here. Thanks for commenting. I have a video on my channel about finding purpose that I think you'll resonate a lot with. It's less about us having a "purpose" and more about us defining purpose for ourselves. Viktor Frankl's book A Man's Search For Meaning is great if you haven't read it.
I've been rejected romantically so many times, I've never been in a relationship. At 18, my heart just shut down and I haven't felt romantic attraction or love since. I'm 26. I don't believe there's someone out there for everyone. Some of us are doomed to die alone. That realization first filled me with hate, then sorrow. Now I'm numb.
I feel you
Caleb Jesus Christ loves you and if you seek him he'll bring you the right person, those people that rejected you were not for you , even though it hurts
Bro just be the best version of yourself. Don't think too much about it. Focus on becoming a better person. Work out, get a hobby, meet people with similar interests etc. eventually you'll meet that right person.
@@LW1Tok No just Lie, Cheat and Steal, ruin them before they ruin you .......I treat all people with disgust and contempt apart from my parents ......now do one!
NGL same I been rejected like 5 times but imma keep trying
Nothing more rewarding than when faced with rejection that you bounce back to success...Every rejection is a stepping stone to success
Okay, this is the best TED Talk I have ever witnessed in my life. I came here because I was asking "why me". I choose myself.
Thank you for this Video Cam, it has really helped me in my own time of darkness.
And some parts of it, I plan to write in my journal, and review them for inspiration.
Thank you!
+CoDLover7771 Hey! Happy to hear that. Wish you the best in the new year :)
Love your courage, Cam. Thank you for sharing your story, your humanity, your light.
Thanks Ginger! So happy to be on this journey with you. :)
Rejection in this day and age is a funny one.
In tribal times, rejection from the group meant almost certain death, at least after several months. That's why we react so strongly to 'rejection'. These days, we can be rejected superficially, but as long as we can do impersonal office jobs and get money, we can be almost completely separate from the tribe, whilst still contributing to and benefiting from it. It's dangerous, how it leads to undetected depression.
absolutely. well said. -Cam
@Keep Moving Forward As human beings, we are still social animals. We crave meaningful friendships, relationships etc. - even introverts/loners want some human contact once in a while. Think about how much we innately learn about reading social cues etc.
Source?
Yea it hurts getting rejected by coworkers especially since you really dont know the reason why. But life goes on and theres billions of people in this world to connect to, dont let one insignificant circle determine your worth. Atleast that's what i try to tell myself.
This still happens and now the bullied are throwing their lives away to fight back. I really wish these videos talked about the worst parts of existing.
That was really a beautiful sweet talk. I am up in the middle of the night not able to sleep thinking about this subject. My heart broke for you in your early days, however what you learned from it really help me tonight in the middle of the night. Thank you for your brave testimony.
Really a fantastic motivational speech! It actually helps when trying to cope with different kinds of rejection 🥺. It doesn’t always have to be the guy who’s not into you or the job you wanted but didn’t get. Sometimes it just feels as if life rejects you as everything you’re trying to improve your situation actually seems to make it worse. But then again, call me naive or not, I still believe Cam is right after all. Maybe rejection just shows you that what you’re doing is not the right thing after all, so you gotta keep on moving on, not giving up, and just keep on trying.
Very well spoken.Good for you Cam! I'm 62 and could use a lift after a lifetime of this sort of thing. Glad you've figured things out an d turned life around much earlier.
61
Well, the only reason why those kids in his hockey team bullied him was because they feared him and they feared what he represented and they feared and knew that at the end of the day, he was the better hockey player.
Marcus Freithofnig Hey Marcus! Thanks for commenting. It was a really weird experience but life is weird sometimes. Hope you're having a great day :)
I too was bullied, made a pariah and reviled. I felt unaccepted, disliked, and all I wanted was acceptance. After I began to love and accept myself, all that negativity disappeared.
When he said 'I was going to be happy again. To smile again.' I smiled.
Cam you are an inspirational leader! Thank you for being willing to share your painful memories and sharing what you've learned from them. This talk is really powerful.
Thanks Melissa!
I've tried being rejected many times whether it's about love or career. I had a fair share of being so down but I didn't let the negativity stuck in my head because I know everything in this world is just permanent, and so as my heartaches.
wishing you the best! -Cam
You don’t always need to know why the rejection happens too, overthinking gets you nowhere
Rejection makes me stronger and a monster.
What stands out to me is this gentleman's resilience. And intelligence.
This popped up in my recommended videos. I always feel lonely even when I’m with a group of people. I believe that’s when it’s at its worst. I started going out more to social outings that interest me like poetry/music events and have been struggling to open up to people because they don’t really open up to me either and it feels like a waste. I also have a fear of rejection because I always expect the worst. I’m still trying and to be more positive I keep a journal which I share weekly about the good things that have happened to me on a daily basis. I plan to do this for the rest of my life.
I hope you’re ok now
I’ve been rejected all of my life started in school was bullied and then rejected and used by different men and friends. Every time I thought I had a friend would be one sided friendship. I’ve learnt rejection isn’t bad it’s God’s protection. It hurts but now I accept what it is and try and move on
Thanks so much for this encouraging, inspiring and personal message! It has made a BIG impact on me, opened my eyes and lifted me up at very difficult time in my life.
Hey! Thanks for commenting, really appreciate your message. Hang in there!
You’re so brave. Chuck it. Step to heaven.
I totally agree with him about being more vulnerable. You cannot have deep friendships without being vulnerable.
Rejection has helped me to be more kind and compassionate toward others.
Wow! I am sending this one to my son right away. He believes moving to CANADA is going to solve his problems. Trump isn't making it any better! I know he will find it very disappointing. He loves being outside, and he doesn't play hockey. I wish he could meet you and have a conversation. You guys even look alike. I hope he watches this. We can learn so much from others, but he may have to learn for himself, like you did. He has suffered from so much bullying and abuse in his life too, and he has always run away. Thank you so much!
Great talk, Cam, important subject done very well. Well done! --- I was /programmed/ to feel rejected at an early age and that lasted right up until recently when I had massive major surgery which has triggered something wonderful in me, and I am beginning to enjoy life for the first time.
+Richard Hillier Hi Richard! Thanks for watching. Happy to hear you're enjoying life now :)
So final Conclusion: Just face the problems and move on.
what a great talk, it spoke to me even made me tear a bit "you are not alone" thanks man!
Thanks Javier! -Cam
Rejection gives you direction. Well said. Simply don't focus on those who don't like you. Never look at them ever again and move forward and if they come back to your life then don't accept them. Just move forward and never ask/nor manifest them to life about seeing them again. If the person has looks or no looks and if he or she rejected you then leave them behind. You just time travel forward without them. Don't accept their apologies nor agree to drink coffee with them. Never look back. Move forward. Find people that do like you, and stay with those people. USA. 2022.
This talk really spoke to me. You know what? Failure is to be expected. If you never take risks, you never fail. Rejection simply means that you want more than you have and are willing to pursue it.
+Justin Stein Thanks for watching Justin! Glad you liked it.
Your message really resonated with me. Wise stuff.
I'm glad! -Cam
love the video and shared it. Its all true and you reach people in a way where it help and will keep helping them, thank you Cam!!!
Who came here after getting rejected by someone they like?
yeah for like an hour ago
Yeah...5th time in my whole life.
I came here in advance lol
Rejection doesn't define Me!! I needed to hear this...today! 🙏🏾
He has more confidence than most people
Really touching story. Great job coming up from that - you were an underdog. But now you're starting to win. :)
It's inspiring.
Hi Ludvig, thanks for leaving your comment. Glad you enjoyed the talk brother :)
You got my support.
Rejection feels tough, because the same brainarea activates as when feeling real physical pain. For evolutionary reasons. Back in the day, we couldn´t survive on our own, we had to be part of the group. (Of course, we still need others, but we are able to live single and survive.)
+nimim. Marko Mikkilä YEs you are correct. Thanks for watching! :)
Cam Adair When I say 'hey' to women on social media, they NEVER respond. I guess these women are part of 'Victim Culture' huh?
@@Crownliving - or they don't like responding to random people over social media. I know it's the accepted default male ego, but not every woman is going to be interested in you (I know wherein I speak), but there are a LOT of women out there and you're statistically likely to find someone you are compatible with if you keep at it.
@@yellowblanka6058 I don't look for no woman, I manifest it.
@@Crownliving Ooook. Best of luck.
I know exactly what you are talking about
Started in 3rd grade and I'm suffering from it until now
I'm having at least one panic attack a day
I lost weight and now everyone calls me beautiful and they tell me what a wonderful person I am....but I just can't believe them
I spend every day crying and anxious, making myself an outcast
He's so young, yet so wise!
Best TEDX talk I've ever watched, just because of the fact you've shown that there are other people like this who have a limited social life/intimate relationships and with no idea of where their life is going, you're an inspiration, thank you
Thanks for watching. You've got this! -Cam
Gym is the only escape from rejection....gym and books are the only loyal friends that make us powerful both mentally and physically
By the way, I love your speech. So honest and inspiring. Thank you
Thanks for the message Jelena!
12:45 Out of our biggest rejection comes our biggest sense of direction 🤯
Rejection hurts, but I use the pain to motivate me to succeed.
You have balls of steel mate to come out like this because this is also what much older people than you go through.
You are a warrior
I can relate to rejection by own mother, friends at school, prospective employers etc.
The greatest love of all to you. I understand💕
Others rejecting you isn't the problem. The real problem is you rejecting yourself.
Yes it is. How people treat us is a mirror of how we treat ourselves.
We support you Cam :)
Thanks Valhalla! Great organization! :)
I now consider myself an older person. Its so nice to not have to worry about impressing anyone
Rejection means.... ‘not a good fit’ nothing more, nothing less, nothing personal.