1. Food - disposable plates reduce cleaning up 2. Get easily made simple meals like family sized lasagne's that you can put in the microwave. 3. Meal replacement shakes 4. Set up your zone. Bed, couch. Have the things you need for your depression within reach. Drawing materials, notebooks, books. 5. Move stuff away from you that is not good for you 6. Set up your meds in advance 7. Tell people you are experiencing a depressive episode - safe and supportive people, not assholes 8. Try to reach out to others. 9. Screen time limits. 10. Get out of bed at least once a day, If you don't you will wreck your sleep cycle.
Keep a toothbrush, bottle of water and cup with lid next to your bed. Helps with dental. Baby wipes instead of showers. Open your window for a bit if you can't get outside. Baby foods (wet and dry) are great snacks when can't chew. Bottled waters or drinks/pop next to bed. Keep pedal bin size bags near bed, helps keep mess located. Bed rest or elderly exercise videos to still get movement. Bed or chair stretches/yoga to help aches. Comfortable PJs & blankets etc.
I'm in one right now. It's very obvious my self care is lacking. Today at work my I said something to my boss half jokingly. My boss is very good with little digs in his douche manner and I heard back ..." yeah and look where it got you " . Told me in a nutshell exactly how he sees me and what he perceives my value. I'm hoping its the jolt I need to get going again.
Basic hygiene stuff takes so much time and energy…like showering, drying my hair, brushing my teeth, putting on makeup, getting dressed and gathering stuff to be ready to go outside. I feel exhausted before I even get out the door - that I have to rest to restore my mental & physical energy reserves. It’s a big accomplishment when I’ve managed to do basic self care…curiously, I seem to have more energy cleaning the kitchen than I do myself. 🤷🏻♀️🤣😂 Thank God for my dog-I get up and out for him-regardless of the state I’m in. The idea of him suffering because of me is enough to put fire under me…but basic self care (or the lack of it) is a huge indicator isn’t it?
Yes, the last depressive episode I went through, I lost 30 lbs because I lived on bagged salad. I felt nauseated and cold all the time. I felt like I had a hole in the middle of my body, I just couldn’t get warm and stayed in my pajamas in front of the heater for days. After this episode I asked my husband if he didn’t see I was depressed? He replied,well you were still sewing. Really? We’ve been married 50 years and he couldn’t see something was wrong. You have helped me so much and this pod cast is the best. If you have had one depressive episode you will have another even if it’s 10-20 years later.
I think the first replier was only matching the energy of the original commenter. Not necessarily being cold or heartless. Original comment seemed a bit blame-y in the way that she expected something from her husband that he, for whatever reason doesn't matter, couldn't give her. The response comment offered a suggestion to seek out someone more qualified to help her. My husband and I have had a similar talk. I think, based on my own subjective experience and conversations with other women, that wives can generally rely too much on their spouses. like expect too much from them. After 2 years of only bringing my depression and trauma/issues to my husband, and realizing I was not progressing after we would talk, I decided to get professional therapy. It not only helped myself, but took some weight off of my husband. So, it was good for both of us. Spouses can only help so much. And mine is great, he's been so good to me through it all. But I became aware that I was exceeding his capacity, and I care about his well-being too. I think it's better to view marriage as a partnership. It is good for an individual to take an honest account, like recognize when there is an imbalance in the relationship and be solution minded. More transparency, more honesty. My opinion though, take or leave. Peace
@@lovelytouch9366 I think that if the other half doesn't notice she's surviving on bagged leaves - there may be a situation. He wasn't so depressed that he didn't notice his wife was still sometimes sewing. I don't know. It's probably not the same for everybody but I know, myself, that however low I get if I see somebody in trouble it puts a rocket up me. Starving to death. Having to hug a heater because the body isn't generating enough of its own. That would tell me that a person is in trouble and I'd have to find out more.
This is the first time I hear someone describe the feelings so accurately.. severe depression episodes makes you feel kind of, crippled.. your soul is exhausted.. you feel empty, detached from yourself, demotivated to do anything.. these tips can really help pull someone out if it a bit faster .. if it's just an hour sooner, it's worth it
I am going through a depressive episode. Both my parents died the past year so I know that is a HUGE part of it. My anxiety is through the roof. I can’t get out of bed, cry all the time, my hygiene is not the best, and am having episodes of binge eating. I don’t want to leave my house, and pretty much live in my bedroom. Taking my meds is so hard to do, barely able to take care of my dog. I am always exhausted. I’ve been cancelling my therapist appointments. I have to tell her and my psychiatrist how much worse it’s gotten the last month. These are the times when my parents, especially my mom would help me. I’ve suffered depression since my teens and she was always there to help me. My life is so complicated now because I’m barely functioning. And I feel I have no one now that my parents are both gone. I miss them so much all I can feel is despair.
i am so sorry about your parents...this is traumatic.. I live in my bedroom too.. i lost my family as well as my husband to brain cancer and brother to suicide a few years back and I hate that you have this on top of your depression.. wish i could be there with you right now
Talk to your therapist and psychiatrist. I have been talking to mine recently on the phone while in a depressive episode. Having them available and supportive was helpful. I took my meds and reached out to a lot of people. I let people know that I was anxious and depressed. I asked them to pray for me too. use all of your resources. Prayers for you.
I had all sorts of catastrophes happen in the last 3 years as well. I quit my job, curse a lot because it expresses how I feel, started a fitness class, focus on what is healthy for me (avoid alcohol, people that don't really care about me, eat healthier foods, go out in the sun, make sure to bathe daily, etc). Do whatever it is you are able to do for YOU. Do more as you are able to and survive. I am doing better just because I decided to focus on me for real. Things have not changed drastically but I do feel better even though I am depressed, cry a lot, get anxiety attacks, etc. Despite all of that things are better because I am making it better step by step by step. I wish you the very best and be kind and loving to yourself.
I am the opposite with food. I stop planning healthy meals and i start eating unhealthy foods like sweets. I also stop exercising so its a double whammy. The cold winter months are hard for most of us. Hang in there and be gentle on yourself.
I can’t wait to get out of this life, really looking forward to escaping. I’ve hated life since 18 years old, I’ve around 20 years to go, can’t believe I’ve got this far, every bad experience makes life worse and worse… thank god life does have an end. I sincerely hope after I die it’s like an eternal sleep, no dreams, nothing. I don’t want any consciousness even if positive. Nil.
People don't check on me anymore, nor do they try to get me to go anywhere. I reach out to them less and less but I'm still the half that reaches out and that bothers me and adds even more to my depression.
I used to post clear cries for help on FB. I stopped doing that when the only feedback I got was, “your post affected me negatively and here’s me shaming you for it.” I am very selective about whom I reached out to as most people only care about someone’s mental health after it’s too late.
I hear you, but there's nothing to be ashamed of. This is a real illness and not your fault. You've found the strength to tell people on here that you have depression. That in itself is a big step.
8: Go outside. There's no sunlight on your nest. If you don't have a yard, or a front stoop, or a balcony, at least sir in a sunny window (open, if weather permits). If your home doesn't have a sunny window, as soon as your depressive episode is over, MOVE. Natural light is crucial to mood.
That's what my family does. This is especially annoying when I think about how practically every therapist I tried talking to emphasizes how I need to find a support system in my life. Like, I'm paying you to help me figure things out, don't make me put my problems on my friends and family even more.
It's hard for people who have never really been deep in their cups to understand someone suffering from major depression. 'least they didn't just straight up tell you "You are not depressed. Stop pretending." I knew someone like that once. Never spoke to them ever again.
My family was supportive at first but then they got burned out after a month or so. Now they tell me "well you have to figure this out for yourself. We can't really help you at this point" Now they go on with their life like I no longer exist. They will rarely even return a text. Yup. All up to me now in the middle of major depressive episode. Me and my dog. They don't even check up anymore. I lost 30 lbs. Because I can barely eat. They said Wow you look great. I bet your as handsome on the inside now too! Um what? Denial is easier for them. I don't communicate my struggles anymore because they are just like Well now you're bringing us down too! Gee thanks. 😮
Or "you have lived with this for so long now so you will likely know by now how to handle this" What is the logic behind that? Because making (permanent !) changes only gets harder the longer you live the days in bed dry shampoo baby wipes microwave food lifestyle. One or a few cases of major depression in an otherwise pretty regular basic life, you have muscle memory what that is like, you have vivid memories, you have connections from when you were your normal, high functioning Decades of depression, never scoring higher on the global scale of assessment is that your nails are cut and clean and you feed yourself and know how to speak in full sentences, in other words you APPEAR fairly normal, means that there is NOTHING to return to because you never got to building anything sustainable. To change behaviors/lifestyle is hard as is, let alone if you have never experienced feeling "normal" for such a long stretch of time you had time to build a proper life, with all the basic requirements like a job and a hobby and a social life and a house that is pleasant to be in and not a constant source of stress, just basic participation, living your life, instead of basically just existing.
I’m 66 years old and I’ve had many depressive episodes, so I’ve had time to figure some of this out. I finally stopped listening to well meaning people, such as therapists and Psychiatrists who told me I need to keep a schedule when I couldn’t even get out of bed. Maybe that would work for some people, but I wouldn’t tell somebody with the flu they need to stick to their schedule! For me, that’s torture. I buy paper bowls, and I cook in the microwave. I buy the steamable frozen vegetables. I live alone, so I only have 2 cups, two glasses,one ceramic bowl, two spoons two forks, two knives. I don’t use plastic utensils because they take too long to decompose . I put one of the cups in the sink with soapy water and when I’m finished with an eating utensil, I rinse it off and drop it in there. That way it’s already half washed when I need to use it . I can’t end up with the sink full of dishes if I don’t own any! Doesn’t make the depression go away, but at least I don’t have those dirty dishes making me feel worse. I use dry shampoo and wet wipes for cleaning. I litter box trained my little dog for the days that I absolutely could not make it outside. A task has to be incredibly easy for me to actually do it. Now I just need to figure out my laundry. Thanks for all you do, Scott.
Thank you for being honest about how bad depression can get. A lot of “depression advice” videos i see are… unrealistic. These are realistic, great tips. Thank you.
I’m a middle aged autistic female. I find that being around anyone other than my husband (my person) can send me into a depressive spiral. I find small talk and just talk in general to be empty and draining. As though a Dementor is sucking my soul out of me. I don’t know how to be around others and protect myself. This unfortunately means that I’m unable to develop relationships with basically anyone else. I find however that not only Dr Scott, but this community is really lovely for someone like me. To have people communicate with raw honesty and pain makes me feel like I’m not all alone. That we’re capable of more than the dreaded “How are you? Lovely weather we’re having “
Oh my god, dito to ALL of this!! Also autistic female here - not quite middle aged yet, but I'm getting there haha I'm currently in the process of obtaining an official diagnosis, but every single thing you named you're struggling with? Yes. Just yes. Especially the part about your husband. My longtime gf of 8 years is the only human not draining my resources, but every other person, no matter how well meaning they might be, will suck me dry. I'm eternally thankful to have found her. Nonetheless, it's hard to go through life when you're constantly low energy and HAVE to function, i.e. holding a job. My personal comparison is playing a triple A competitive shooter game on an outdated computer - if you're "lucky" it'll run, but you'll only be lagging behind or basically play in screenshots while the graphics aren't displaying properly or need an immensely long time to load. You have to plan everything in advance, be hypervigilant, pretty much playing 4D chess all of the time while your team members and enemies with "newer' pcs don't have to do that. When you also have to deal with depressive episodes this whole thing gets even worse. I don't know where I was initially trying to go with this, but what I essentially want to say is: you're not alone. Nobody is. And although I don't wish this struggle on anyone, it soothes the soul to feel a sense of belonging and earnest understanding from another human being. ❤
I battle depression every single day of my rotten life. All my dreams and goals have never been met, and I'm just melting into death. Trying to keep a smile on my face for everybody around me. And not to complain or blame them for ruining my life, even though they did.
I'm so sorry for your feeling so bad. I'm very sad that if they have done things to ruin your life, you are holding on to misery for them? You're very articulate, you deserve to feel anger and to make changes for yourself and your happiness. I know that is terrifying and paralyzingly difficult 🫂🫂
The truth is most friends will back away from depressed people. The moment you express your depressive thoughts, for one reason or another, you'll no longer be friends with a lot of people. They will make fun of you or simply give you some advice. After that, you'll notice them starting to distance from you and in right moments they'll start mocking you again reminding you of your depressed state. The truth is nobody wants to listen to a sad person or some friends might even be scared of you committing suicide and then them getting into trouble with police enquiries.The world is full of selfish people. Even a psychologists listens to its patients just to earn money. They might do their job well but that's how they keep up with their profession. Sorry if this sounds too negative but that's what I have experienced all my life.
Can understand what you say. There is the fear that depression comes back. Because we feel so overwhelmed by it. I feel the same and maybe I am in a similar situation. I try to „turn to my depression“ and understand it better. All the best to you!
I am considering that as well. But I cannot decide. I live in Switzerland, had a good job with a good insurance but I burned out. So, now I am 47, getting "half" a disability pension, which means I am supposed to work 50%, or look for work at least. Considering my mental development it should not be a problem to get the full pension, which would mean a little more money (not twice as much - the difference is not that important), but I would be free in the sense that nobody would expect me to work or at least look for it. Somehow I just don't see myself in a work place anymore, on the other hand it feels like being defeated if you accept that you are unable to contribute to society anymore..... I guess it will be figured out by itself. Eventually it will be checked if I still need the half pension and during that evaluation they will either deem me fit for work, 50% fit or unfit..... So, why speed up what eventually happens... Edit: Americans probably cannot relate that it is an option to just live off the welfare state at already 47. But it is not that common and it certainly wouldn't be an option if I had a family and all that. But I struggled with depression since I can remember. So ending up as a welfare case always was something I dreaded but also something I was glad to be able to rely on when the shit really hits the fan... And during my work I paid a lot into the system, so it's not unfair to also get something out of it..... Same with health insurance, you never want to use it. But if you have to you are glad you have been paying for it all the time.... And no, neither a proper health insurance or a healthy welfare state has anything to do with communism. This is Switzerland, where all the money is stored. Would you store your money in a socialist country? Don't think so 😊
@@Kingcobra6699 I hear you. I've had depression since adolescence. I had a very long (2 year) depressive episode 10 years ago (at 55 yo), and finally had to go on disability because I wasn't able to do my job (or much of anything else) any more. It was the best decision for me. I now work on maintaining my health as best I can. I still have depressive episodes, longer and more frequently than I'd prefer. But I no longer have the burden of expectations of a boss & colleagues to wrestle with. I have time to try to get enough sleep, eat reasonably well, etc. Thanks to Medicare, I am on meds & talk to a therapist regularly. I struggled with the "contributing to society" issue for awhile, but I also had paid into the system for 40 years. Now I contribute to society by doing (limited) volunteer work. I have to be careful not to over-commit, though! My enthusiasm to help others typically outstrips my personal resources, and I don't want to let people down by having to quit if I get too drained or overwhelmed. Best wishes ❤
I'm old, and a few years back my life long depression turn permanent. It used to come and go, now it's always. Anhedonia set in, and even playing guitar, my last refuge, went dark. Now playing feels like nothing. I was really hoping i could rely on it.
One thing I especially appreciate is that you speak from reality. Not a book you read, or a weekend seminar you attended last month. You understand the problems. Your ideas have worked for you. I hope that I can heal enough to help others too. Although it seems unlikely, I keep running into more layers. I'm told CPTSD is like that.
When I'm really depressed eating is one of the few things that gives me pleasure - to the point that I often emotionally overeat, then overexercise, and feel worse. This is an atypical symptom, and I wish I didn't have it. I also have to mention that it is not always a good idea to tell people when you're depressed. People get compassion fatigue and it's hard to be around someone who is chronically negative. Even therapists and shrinks get impatient. If someone asks, you don't have to lie. But don't expect people to show up just because you tell them you're depressed; it may have the opposite effect and push them away. My mental health issues have been a major contributor to the downfall of all of my relationships. Because depression is a disease of total self-absorption, and very little self-reflection. It's not narcissism, it's survival. But nevertheless, it's a double whammy when you have no social support for when your depressed because your depression ruined all of your friendships. Or at least heavily influenced their demise.
Sometimes forcing yourself to move about helps,even walk about house,and if you find it hard to do anything, just tell yourself to take even one step towards it.
same here and i am already feeling worse about the insomnia because ive been sleeping all day and now i have been up since yesterday. I hate this so much.. for all of us
My biggest issue with eating when I'm struggling is that I don't have the mental capacity to decide what to eat. The result is that I either eat nothing or I grab the closest (and usually least healthy) option available. I live much of my life in extremes. Moderation is not a realistic option for me. I'm sure my mental health would be much better if I could. My issue with friends is that I have had several over the years who have profess to care and understand and "want to be there for me", but when it comes time, they inevitably let me down. I know...get better friends, right? But after this happens repeated, you lose your ability to believe in people. This leaves me friendless, but sometimes I think it's the safest place for me.
Bipolar spectrum disorder depression plus chronic fatigue syndrome and a list of chronic health challenges have kept me housebound since 2009 and at one stage I was basically bed bound. I'm recovering slowly and hoping to find more hints and tips for helping myself heal and manage my symptoms. I struggle to do anything house related and am limited to what I can do with very limited money and energy. I'm working my way thru all the videos you post, collecting information to rebuild my life from the foundations. Thankyou for making it free and easy to understand. Blessings from South Eastern Australia, Dot
Ive had many episodes od depression due mainly to chronic insomnia. This problem began in my teens caused by bullying. Im now 67 and just ready to retire worked as a nurse gor 47 years, i pray for inner healing and peace of mind. There was childhood trauma which caused terrible low self worth and social anxiety. I long now for peace of mind and a good friend ❤
8:30 I listen to Europop if I feel a depressive episode approaching Songs such as: Take A Chance On Me, by ABBA One Step Further by Bardo I'm Never Giving Up by Sweet Dreams, Fantasy Island by Tight Fit. However, Europop is not for everyone. I had a friend listen to these songs and they said they made him feel worse!
I am an INFJ (rarest personality type) and that combined with childhood trauma, assault, divorce, and beating cancer (yay!) equals the perfect storm for anxiety and depression. I keep doing the inner work through therapy and watching videos like this. Thank you, Dr. Scott. The advice that you give (i.e. paper plates!) shows that you truly get what depression feels like.
I have had severe depressive episodes that have lasted for years. I wish that nobody else ever had to feel like this, but at the same time I feel like I am not alone and you get it. I've been watching your channel and get more help here that I ever have from in person therapy. When you mentioned paper plates, it was clear you understand. Normally when I am in a depressive state I use that trick because a disgusting kitchen makes my depression worse and then my inner voice says you are living like an animal, because who can't wash dishes? From your video where you talked about celebrating your victories and changing that voice in your head, I heard, yay! you are understanding that you are in a depressive state and you are taking care of yourself. Thank you. You make the world of difference to me and it is very appreciated.
Man, your first suggestion of getting paper plates made me feel seen. I definitely struggle to make myself do the dishes in a timely fashion, which spirals into not wanting to cook because there's no clean dishes and the sink is too full.
Just hearing the tip about not even wanting to eat or even chew was a huge tip for me. I found that having nutritious protein shakes available would at least give me a meal when I don’t want to eat. Or easy meals already cooked available just to warm made a HUGE difference for me. Otherwise I would opt for unhealthy snacks. This has made a HUGE difference for me. Thank you for the practical tips.
Thank you. You mention self defeating things I didn't know I do, but at least being able to identify them gives us a better chance. I have a therapist and a psychiatrist but you have to figure out a lot on your own. It's intimidating sharing that you have depression with people or friends because I feel some people will treat you different or not understand what you're going through. They think its just sadness or dont understand the literal physcial impacts on your body. Before i knew my physical symptoms were caused by major depression I just thought I was physically sick. People without depression just don't seem to understand the physical aspect (pain, weakness, exhaustion, etc). A lack of understanding can sometimes be one of the most painful things.
thank you for this video. i have been stuck in this i dont even know what to call it ever since a traumatic incident happened to me months ago. i wanna move on but somethings holding me back so here i am stuck, try to just live day by day, enjoy good emotions when it comes and ride the bad ones out slowly to not having it drown me. whoever seeing this message, please know youre not alone. im in this too, a lot of us are..
@@elainebezak7158 It's really hard to be alone so much of the time. We aren't alone in that there are so many also going through this terrible ordeal too.
This is incredibly helpful for someone with cptsd also . Sometimes I get triggered and just want to hide from the world while I re-regulate myself, which can last for how long.
Thank you so much for this It helps me alot. I battle depression so much. I have alot of health issues and it makes my depression worse. God bless you for understanding. ❤️🙏🏻✝️
OMG I have been so anaerobic for over a year and all of this applies! I hardly leave home and almost don't eat. Protien shakes are keeping me alive for now. I actually wondered if I have become anorexic 😮 Thank you so much!!
When i was on Prozac and suicidal I would tell my mom and she’d say, “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.” Still don’t tell her when I’m feeling weak to this day Love your channel and how authentic you are. Thank you for working on yourself so others could heal
These are so great. Another thing that helps if you have a smartphone is to schedule a ton of reminders that ask “Is this a satisfying thought?” It’s so easy to forget to notice your thoughts and how they shape our view of the moment, so having an external, automatic prompt to check in with whatever thoughts are arising and just see them is so helpful. Don’t try to change them if they’re negative, don’t think positively, and don’t ignore them because that will almost certainly guarantee they get worse. But if you keep noticing them without judging them, they tend to tire themselves out and not hang around. Actually, if you can suspend the habit of judging or evaluating or picking-and-choosing what you do and don’t want to experience for the duration of the episode, that might actually pull you out of it quicker. It will at least make things easier to handle…but you gotta have regular external reminders or you might not even try to do it
I have to practice thought stopping, or I spiral into dwelling on everything negative. I find there's so much to fight lately, that I almost don't know where to start. Its' very hard to focus on positives, when there's not much hope of things changing anymore. I do a gratitude list and try and focus on that as I get up though.
When i talk about it.. all i get told is , well people have it way worse than you... and told i need to snap out of it. Life is what u make it... you'll be ok. You have no reason to be depressed... so yea staying quiet is better, so i dont get judged. I cant even get a break from my kids. I haven’t had a day to myself in about a year. Im stuck in this house 7 days a week 24 hrs a day. I have no friends , no help... just sucks ... im ready to go home home and be done with this miserable life.
I was in your situation for years, every day felt like An eternity and at the same time I was wasting my whole life away doing nothing and then before I knew it thing's got easier, and easier as my kids got older and more independent I was able to find myself enjoying a more balanced life and that alone helped but the other thing that actually makes me grateful for the depression and loneliness is that I was always there for my kids and having a close bond with them was ultimately worth all of the times I thought I was about to break down. Just remember that your life will not always be this way, you will get back to yourself at some point and you will have a lot to be proud of.
This is most helpful!! The best $$ I ever spent years ago was buying a small dorm fridge for my bedroom. I like cold soda/water/jello/etc. When I’m in one of my major funks and am in “hibernation mode”, having easy access to my cold beverages/snacks helps me.
I’m pretty cynical. But to me you seem authentic and that you are willing to share your fallibility. Most importantly, in addition to making a lot of sense, you come across as truly caring. Thank you for reaching out.
Thank you. I have been depressed for a couple months or so now and I am especially afraid and anxious about how long I will feel this bad. I appreciate your time, effort and devotion to us who are suffering as you obviously have. Much love and grace to you and your family.
I’m currently in a psychiatric unit after being severely depressed and suicidal, I’ve had insomnia since December, waking at 2 or 3 am and being unable to sleep. 8 weeks of that plus depression and thought loops of rumination over things from the past sent me over the edge in to an incredibly scary and suicidal frame of mind, I’ve been in this unit since Tuesday, put on meds and feeling horribly low still, it’s day 4 in here. Severe depression combined with anxiety is unbelievably hard to bare. I have to believe I can see things clearly and have a clearer perspective on things. I don’t like who I am nor this life right now
Hey, just some random person who just read your comment. I hope you’re okay. I don’t have much else to say except someone somewhere (me) is wishing you well!
Been there. There now. You are not alone. Please just try one little thing everyday. . . even if it’s learning to care about brushing your teeth again while you’re there. These are successes. I care about you! I understand 1st hand. I promise.
@@l.linkhart4024 Well I was in that unit for 3 weeks on a voluntary basis. It didn’t help being in there if im honest. I thought I was improving a bit recently but I’ve had a relapse in my mood and struggling again
Thank you so much for going into detail with compassion the reasons it's so difficult to feed myself in the middle of a depressive episode. It's validating to not just berate myself as being "lazy" or "spoiled" for not wanting to do the dishes or not wanting to cook anything. My go-to depression meal is plain yogurt with sliced bananas. No cooking, not much chewing, full of protein and good fats, and it's almost like ice cream. The tip I can't follow through with is telling someone I am in a depressive episode. I know I should but I just can't.
I can barely tell my therapist about my depressive episodes. This is a great video, as always. I somehow always leave your videos feeling surprised by how grounded and non-judgmental the insights are. Looking forward to the day I can see a depressive episode coming and prepare in advance.
To anyone who's interested in nutrition: remove maltodextrin, carrageenan, methylcellulose and modified starch from your diet and see what that does to your digestion, mood and other symptoms. Nothing to lose there and a lot to win ❤
I try to mostly eat whole foods and make sure I take my vitamin naturopath and functional dr recommended Thorne brand Nutrient II and drink Matcha instead of coffee that makes me anxious and negative.
When I was fresh out of break-up, I didn't want to eat but I remember watching Lumma say that eating is very important because it will just make you feel worse if you let your body starve. So even though I had no energy to eat, I still ate. I ate my normal amount because I didn't want my healing to take longer.
dr, Scott you are bang on, as being diagnosed with cpsd,& other issues one can firmly see that you are speaking from experience. my advice to everyone who has depression/ anxiety attacks my heart goes out to you all! force your self. it does get better! I'm living proof. believe me you are worth every breath you take is one step closer to a beat this mental drain ❤ all you beautiful people.
Depressive 'EPISODES" would be a luxury for me. My latest "episode" has been many years. The only time it's not obvious is when anxiety is so bad, it over-rides the DEEP INSUFFERABLE depression. No way out. Too many years no treatment has worked. Alone, isolated and elderly. I am barely functional. It's a good day if I can get out of bed before lunchtime and move to the couch. Biggest achievement for the week is showering more than 1 day. Can't remember eating a homecooked meal in years (and it wasn't me who cooked it). I'd give anything for my DEEP depression to be an "episode". Then again, it's a day much preferred to one of crippling anxiety. The pain and suffering those days are unbearable and they have been dominant for too long 😢
It's funny how people these days talk about how important it is to pay attention to mental health, and to not stigmatize those that have problems... But everybody i know just basically tells me to duck off, they think that is my fault, and they didn't want to deal with it. Even family is like "don't need you"
I totally get you on all this stuff. I'm 71 and I'm coming out of another one brought by, I believe, knee surgery and some weird happenstances. I've have been working on managing my symptoms for quite some time and I thoroughly enjoy your videos. This one made me chuckle at times, but the way you said "Crying 's ok, but laughing is better!" just got my funny one for some reason! I'm glad you do this. You're a good one! 💯🎉
I don't just feel depressed "sometimes." I never wake up feeling happy or optimistic. Every day since being a small child, I have woken up feeling empty, sad, and unhappy. There are occasional days when I'm able to push past it & force it. But, when I am able to do that, I have 3 or 4 days of total shutdown afterwards, where I'm almost catatonic. Even on the days when I do feel strong enough, I live right on the edge of my nerves, like a coiled spring. It's absolutely exhausting! I didn't do well in school. Teachers always said the same thing about me. "Kelhi has the potential to be great in school, but she simply chooses not to focus and get on with her work." What they didn't understand is that I was fighting every day against the feeling of wanting to go everywhere all at once. I'm 41 now, and I'm still struggling with myself. All NHS doctors are prepared to do is give me antidepressants. It really feels so futile, like Im banging my head against a brick wall. I tried "betterhelp therapy". But, I was left with the feeling that "Betterhelp" does for mental health what McDonald's does for nutrition. Not to mention that it's outrageously expensive, given the fact that they don't diagnose or treat issues with medication. There's no help coming, I'm stuck in this perpetual shadowland, and it sucks!
I can relate. I feel bad that you are having such a rough time, but at least we know that we are not alone. Psilocybin mushrooms, help me at one point, but I can’t find them now. At least you have a nice profile picture. Take care.
Something you said about not focusing on your work and wanting to go every direction at once… have you checked to see if you have ADHD? That might explain some of it. I wish you the best.
While listening to you I honestly felt "his words precisely described MY depression, how food is of no interest, isolation"...it was as if u knew every thing I think, feel and do. Thanks for making me feel understood.
In addition to the meal replacement shakes, make sure you have water or something else healthy you like to drink. I know being adequately hydrated is a challenge for me. Being dehydrated makes me more fatigued and triggers migraines, too. I've been depressed since losing my job (and of course my stupid Ex decided to file for divorce when he knew I was probably going to lose my job, too), and I think keeping a bottle of water in the bedroom helps.
Personal hygiene is a problem when in a depressive episode. I have been thinking of buying disposble bathing towels, no shower required, to feel better about myself when I'm in that deep. I already do the paper plates & plastic forks, ready-to-serve meals, and meds easily at the ready. You are right, things have to be planned to ensure we can carry out the steps we need to take care of ourselves until the gloom lifts.
I like Trader Joe's cucumber wipes. Also use dry shampoo, sunblock, take my vitamin, and drink matcha tea. Then wait for the vitamin and tea to take effect so i can do a small chore and walk my dog. Then as long as I don't have contact with anyone I can usually get some of what I struggle with done.
I am watching u from Australia. I have had anxiety and depression for a long time. You are so amazing and I love to listen to u. I have had so much help from u. So many times I am saying that's how I feel to your videos when you explain how u feel. I,love u so much. Thank u I find I am watching you over and over and for the first time I am getting help. Hard to leave home but went for walk yesterday thanks to u
I have been watching avidly through my last episode a few months. You helped me, the anhedonia and nurture videos especially. Like you, I am not a regular "block" I don't quite fit, too many surfaces. I am getting better. I will keep you close. Thank you for all of your help and advice.
Dr. Scott thankyou for your videos. Ive had very hard to treat major depressive disorder since before my teens. I'm almost 67 now. Ive worked very hard throughout my life to maintain marriagges, relationships, friendships, a sociall life, therapy, self-care, medication, my career. Hobbies, etc. I thought by the time I reached retirement my life would have settled and I could use the tools I have learned from therapy, have my furbaby companions to love and care for(they are everything to me, the children i could never have), a niice little apartment. Until all the s*** hit the fan . The seniors building i moved into forced me to give away my puppy or i would be evicted. No where else for me to go. That was my spiral down. My one sister who is left, and my 2 friends, are all just too busy with their own busy lives. They know ive been depressed. Problem is they are used to me being so strong all my life. Im not strong anymore. Im not eating much or sleeping or leaving my apartment. Truthfully. Im no drama queen, but i have given and given all my life. Im exhausted. Just with life. Im getting old. All my joy has been taken away living in this seniors apartment. The freedom you have when you still have your little house with your animals, close to nature to ga hiking, go outside to barbque a nice steak, to still have a car, suddenly everything is taken from you and you ate alone.. all alone. No energy left nor do you you care. I watch others with there grandchildren, or those that travel a bit with husbands that love them, or people that still have family members or pets left. The facts are that now at my age i really dont care if i fall asleep peacefully and not wake up the next morning. Everyone i love is waiting for me on the other side. I dream about them often and dont want to wake up from my dreams. Im just tired of living a hard life, struggling all the time. God just let me lay down now this evening and when i open my eyes ill be there with mom, dad, my relatives, friends and family. Its all I ask for.
I’m so sorry Marianne. I often feel similarly, even though I’m at a younger stage. I totally understand that losing your pets particularly would be utterly, utterly crippling. I wonder, and it’s just an idea, could you help out at an animal sanctuary anywhere near you? Take them out for a walk or just sit with them to give them company to try and ease their situation too? I wish you the very best and release from the grip of this horrible state xxxxxxxxx
Awesome suggestions! Some I was aware of, but I’d never thought of the disposable “dinnerware”, or figuring ways of removing the heavier things. I’d always thought you had to just shove through or the episode would last longer. This is fantastic news! Thank you.
I oddly don't have a big problem w/ the dishes. Have a dishwasher and can usually hand wash a pot. Usually only reheat in microwave or toaster oven on tinfoil. Using actual pots involved real cooking, which I get to maybe every few months. if I had kids or others involved, it would be different, but alone, that's all I can manage. Getting the dishwasher unloaded gives me a little sense of accomplishment, ,once a week or so. It's more the cooking. If you are doing actual cooking, an old friend showed me a great model I've utilized every since, since I have pain/fatigue issues. She would get her kitchen ready just a bit at a time, well ahead of making dinner. She'd get some pots and utensil out. Later, she'd get ingredients out. Then she'd chop veggies a bit at a time, if it was like spagetti. I found this invaluable, as I'd only ever known to do it in one fell swoop. Which could be too painful and tiring. W/ depression, if you can muster those tiny hits of motivation for just a few tasks at a time, before you hit the couch, it's enough. I know motivation is a huge issue for us, as depression sucks it out of us like a hoover.
Some people don't understand depression if you tell them. They say"What are you depressed about?" I think that it is wise to avoid those people that genuinely are incapable of understanding.
Especially the part about social media/screentime. I am taking a break from IG now because of my depression (IG is also a huge depression trigger for me for different reasons) and it really gives me space to feel what I feel if that makes sense. Not looking for that distraction all the time gives me insights and space to really feel these emotions (they are not feeling good.. but running away from it doesn't help me at all, it just keeps me stuck in this endless loop) Cry when I need to cry and just building up from there, going for walks, to the gym but on a slower pace (I feel like the heavy gym classes are too much stress for my body) eating better and listen more to my body and what I want and need to feel better again.
I have been handling depression since the passing of my husband just over 10 years ago. It has gotten progressively worse the last few years. I was good throughout the pandemic, kept in contact with friends and family. I continued going to my job, taking care of my home responsibilities. Then everything went down. Noone returned calls, I was ghosted when it came to scheduled repairs. And its still the same. When I am able to speak to someone Im told I will figure it out like I always have ( I dont normally ask for help). Ive managed to stay upbeat but going home is a different story. Im immediately reminded that i am alone and no support. I fell back into a deep depression. Ive been told I should move then..??? Ive spoken to my Pcp when i start feeling this way and she says " How can i say this without sounding like a B? You need to get over it." I left crying. So as much as Ive been educated with the few videos Ive watched, I disagree with this one. It's not easy at all to do any of these things. I feel like Im in a world with a population of 1 ( not including my pets). I dont by any means want to be out of this world, but Im understanding how alot of individuals would choose otherwise. Me feeling this way, Ive paid more attention to those who are much older and Im sure to spend a few extra minutes speaking to them. That's the positive out of how I feel.
Thank you. I'm in the middle of a depressive episode. At least I hope it is the middle. It has been going on for weeks. One of the triggers is my psychiatrist is leaving. I have had her since 2017. We are very close, and share so many things together about life, not just my mental health. In addition though, she has helped me navigate through so many obstacles in my life. I feel like I am grieving the loss of a loved one. I fear I won't be able to maintain and grow without her. I also have a therapist, who is great also. But, my psychiatrist is something special that can't be replaced. I just want this sadness and depression to go away already. I want to feel confident again, and motivated to keep pressing forward in my goals.
@@Jsan2222 I'm sorry. That is so hard to deal with. Do something nice for yourself everyday that feels good inside. Or that lifts your mood a little. a brisk walk, t.v. time with the dog and a good snack, organize your favorite space inside your house. IDK, just trying to help. I know how hard it is. I hope you are taking care of yourself while this storm passes.
This is so helpful. I can see I figured some of this out retrospectively and will continue to reinforce these subtle changes. Hour by hour, one foot in front of the other, this is all excellent advice.
This is the moast practical and pragmatic advice I've ever heard from a MH professional, thank you. I recently attended a psychoeducation course that was supposed to provide this kind of help but this 20 mins was more useful than all seven weeks.
This was really helpful. The first one really hit home as I have a sink full of dirty dishes that I have been avoiding all week. Paper plates......what a great idea! Thank you for all of your insightful recommendations. They are much appreciated and so realistic.
Excellent advice! Your videos are so helpful. You're a man who knows what it's like to be in the battlefield of depression, and who also has the professional skills to give practical, heartfelt counselling. I feel like you're speaking to me, and that is a sign of a great communicator. Thank you. And well done. 🙏🏻
I had a great summer. Then it started to rain for 3 months. My sleeping pattern is all over the place. So I feel like crap. However, my home is clean. I keep eating healthy. Even if I have to force it down my throat. If I can't make myself to eat on time, I make up for it by not looking at the clock and make dinner anyway. Regardless. Food is essential to kill off a depressive episode. Good food, a proper dinner is the best moment of the day. It's better to have a clean and organized home, so your home can facilitate and help you out of the depressive episode. Avoid alcohol. It only makes things worse. Whenever the sun shines, I have to go outside to get myself some light. All it took to get myself on track, is a clean home, good food, sunlight, chilling out in a forest, and a good conversation. Eat, walk and talk.
I've had a major depression for over a year and a half. It's been well over 2 years since the break up and cheating trauma that started the hell of appetite and heavy weight loss. Been alone for over a year now and still have barely been able to cook. So it's frozen pizzas and dinner, easy, already prepared things. I a great cook and baker. Would have thought I'd have gotten that back by now. Tried to get ingredients for healthier things I wanted to make, but they'd go bad on me. So I re-heat. I big part of the problem, is even when I go shopping, when I can get myself out, I blank out on what to even buy. Occasionally I can think of a few new things, which helps my interest in food more, if I have more variety. Mostly I eat the same old things, so I dread eating all the more. Protein shakes did help me put back 5 pounds. I'd been down as low as 105, to back to 110, which felt so much better for a bit. Still too thin, but the bonyness was kind of scary for a while. Now I'm struggling to keep it on again. Back to 108. I was eating like it was my job and couldn't slow down my roaring, downward metabolism for around a year. Now I'm not as hungry constantly, but that's a problem too. Just so tired of forcing food in, when I don't really want it. So every few days, I work hard on it and in between, it's just too much effort, so barely eat. Not as diligent about the protein shakes either. Wish I didn't get tired of the same old pretty quick, but some of us are like that, esp. when not much is appealing.
Thank you so much, your channel really does help me so much. I love how you are so understanding because you've been through it first hand. That's what makes me really understand and comprehend your videos and suggestions and ideas. I appreciate you Dr. Scott
its hard being a gym girl in an episode, constantly wanting to snack (on the other hand sometimes not eating until 2 in the afternoon) , and being a business/career woman bc I struggle to focus when I have this episode..need to remember to be kind to ourselves
What I most take from this is that I deserve to be better - so much so that I deserve to better take care of myself in order to make that happen. Shocking that I needed someone to tell me but anyhow a good contrast to my internal landscape. In a way that teaches me that my internal landscape really isn’t what it should be.
@@kimlarso this answer is from the bottom of my heart: I am sorry you feel that way. I do not have an fair explanation of why, or why you, and realistic solutions are out of my scope. I wish I was God to solve your suffering at the drop of a hat, but I'm far from being God, and far from understanding why He allows many things in this life. I can't tell you how to live your life, neither to end it, neither to continue it. I am at a loss when I find people like you and I. Sorry I didn't say what most people would say, but I tried to keep it real.
i really like this when the absolute basics are impossible...i always try to get up get dressed and eat if i do it everyday one day it will turn and be easier but its soooo hard
I'm a little peed off with the term depressive episode. I live within a 'depressive episode' for decades. It would be a luxury to think this will pass as its just an episode. It's a whole big ass life long depressive episode.
Omg! You are absolutely right never thought about have disposable plates and meals Sometimes it gets out control my kitchen and make everything worse (No help live with disabled brother) Thank you for sharing your knowledge 🙏
Really great tips thanks 😊 I definitely try to do some of these. The thing I'm worst at is telling people. I'm always just saying "I have a headache" or I'm tired or unwell. I never really tell people in my life what the depression is really like and how deep it goes. Not sure if I don't want to worry them or if I feel like I'm letting them down because I'm not 'better now' like they want me to be.
I hope this is received as intended, but trying not to worry people can backfire. If they’re in tune with you at all they will usually notice when your mood changes, but if you don’t say much about why people sometimes feel it’s something they did wrong. It can be validating and reassuring to let people know “yes, something is wrong. No, you are not that something.”
I have to jump in here: my friend told me today that she is depressed and without hope, and I am so glad that she told me! She trusted me enough to share this deeply private thing. I was honored and humbled by this - and we’re meeting this week. Please tell people!
I came across your platform at a critical time in my life about a week ago. I would not have made it had I not found you. I suffer from Bipolar, Severe GAD, Panic Disorder, BPD, PTSD and FND which is aggregated by trauma and pain. The trauma trigger results in actual full physical violent uncontrollable movements like war veteran's shell-shock. I have been startled and relieved to find a virtual mirror of my depressive self (minus the gaming😉). I can finally understand a lot of things that were inexplicable for years and help those around me to understand what is going on. Especially 'freezing',which was actually happening in real time when i first stumbled across your channel and was the session topic I have started to see some success in following your advice. This particular tutorial on preparation, I can absolutely see the logic and merit in and will implement immediately,with help, to prepare for what I feel is coming and hopefully avoid or shorten the length and impact of an episode. Thank you so much - you saved a life last week.
@DrScottEilers If I can now just move from this 'freeze' state and the various other scenarios you mention, hopefully, things will become a little easier. I am classed as unfit for work and work related activities by my psych team. So I have the time to work on your content advice and move forward as best as I can. The work you do is so important, thank you once again
I hadn't thought of disposable plates and plastic utensils. Excellent idea! I do keep Lean Bars (protein bar, low or no sugar and fat) on hand because when I forget to eat (or don't want to) then I definitely don't have the energy to cook anything. And if anyone hates wake-up alarms as much as I do, try a 'progressive' alarm. It starts off quietly and increases in volume. Much less jarring to wake up to.
I use a meal replacement powder blended with kefir and frozen fruit for times when I have no appetite or no energy to fix meals. Cooking can help me with anxiety though, because doing nothing can turn into a horrible downward spiral. This week I made quiches that I cut into portions and freeze - thaw a piece in the fridge overnight and reheat the next day for easy and nutritious meals. You can buy frozen pie shells to make it even easier.
Oh my, I wish I could get back to making nice healthy meals for freezing. I used to make gorgeous homemade quiches. Buy the double pie shells, and freeze one. Make a nice batch of home fries, maybe some beans on the side. Sometimes the beans would be homemade too. Used to even make my own yogurt and bread. Miss homemade food so much. I've tried watching all sorts of cooking videos to spur myself back to cooking and baking. I've tried all manner of visualizing myself doing it again. Nope. Been over a year and a half, frozen and ready made.
Deal with deep depression And listening to your channel I can relate to so much of it I had a therapist, but I felt like I was talking to my 30-year-old niece, and at the end of the session we made a date for the next time, but never solved anything
I feel so seen and validated by this video. I have gotten better at caring for myself during depressive episodes due to therapy, but man it's hard. These are awesome tips. Thank you! ❤
1. Food - disposable plates reduce cleaning up
2. Get easily made simple meals like family sized lasagne's that you can put in the microwave.
3. Meal replacement shakes
4. Set up your zone. Bed, couch. Have the things you need for your depression within reach. Drawing materials, notebooks, books.
5. Move stuff away from you that is not good for you
6. Set up your meds in advance
7. Tell people you are experiencing a depressive episode - safe and supportive people, not assholes
8. Try to reach out to others.
9. Screen time limits.
10. Get out of bed at least once a day, If you don't you will wreck your sleep cycle.
Keep a toothbrush, bottle of water and cup with lid next to your bed. Helps with dental.
Baby wipes instead of showers.
Open your window for a bit if you can't get outside.
Baby foods (wet and dry) are great snacks when can't chew.
Bottled waters or drinks/pop next to bed.
Keep pedal bin size bags near bed, helps keep mess located.
Bed rest or elderly exercise videos to still get movement.
Bed or chair stretches/yoga to help aches.
Comfortable PJs & blankets etc.
I'm in one right now. It's very obvious my self care is lacking. Today at work my I said something to my boss half jokingly. My boss is very good with little digs in his douche manner and I heard back ..." yeah and look where it got you " . Told me in a nutshell exactly how he sees me and what he perceives my value. I'm hoping its the jolt I need to get going again.
Basic hygiene stuff takes so much time and energy…like showering, drying my hair, brushing my teeth, putting on makeup, getting dressed and gathering stuff to be ready to go outside. I feel exhausted before I even get out the door - that I have to rest to restore my mental & physical energy reserves. It’s a big accomplishment when I’ve managed to do basic self care…curiously, I seem to have more energy cleaning the kitchen than I do myself. 🤷🏻♀️🤣😂 Thank God for my dog-I get up and out for him-regardless of the state I’m in. The idea of him suffering because of me is enough to put fire under me…but basic self care (or the lack of it) is a huge indicator isn’t it?
I feel the same way about my dog. I get her out for a walk regardless of how I feel...❤@@Sunshine-hv1eu
@Sunshine-hv1eu our dogs keep us going
That's it! "My soul needs to rest for a month".
Yes, the last depressive episode I went through, I lost 30 lbs because I lived on bagged salad. I felt nauseated and cold all the time. I felt like I had a hole in the middle of my body, I just couldn’t get warm and stayed in my pajamas in front of the heater for days. After this episode I asked my husband if he didn’t see I was depressed? He replied,well you were still sewing. Really? We’ve been married 50 years and he couldn’t see something was wrong. You have helped me so much and this pod cast is the best. If you have had one depressive episode you will have another even if it’s 10-20 years later.
@@lovelytouch9366little harsh isn't it? You have no clue about that person nor his/her spouse do you?
Spouses help each other more often than doctors by a long shot. Lay off Cynthia.
@@leahzaloudek6978
Idk who Cynthia is lol. I agree but you went in pretty strong on a stranger. Yes?
I think the first replier was only matching the energy of the original commenter.
Not necessarily being cold or heartless.
Original comment seemed a bit blame-y in the way that she expected something from her husband that he, for whatever reason doesn't matter, couldn't give her.
The response comment offered a suggestion to seek out someone more qualified to help her.
My husband and I have had a similar talk. I think, based on my own subjective experience and conversations with other women, that wives can generally rely too much on their spouses. like expect too much from them.
After 2 years of only bringing my depression and trauma/issues to my husband, and realizing I was not progressing after we would talk, I decided to get professional therapy. It not only helped myself, but took some weight off of my husband. So, it was good for both of us.
Spouses can only help so much. And mine is great, he's been so good to me through it all. But I became aware that I was exceeding his capacity, and I care about his well-being too.
I think it's better to view marriage as a partnership. It is good for an individual to take an honest account, like recognize when there is an imbalance in the relationship and be solution minded.
More transparency, more honesty.
My opinion though, take or leave.
Peace
@@lovelytouch9366 I think that if the other half doesn't notice she's surviving on bagged leaves - there may be a situation. He wasn't so depressed that he didn't notice his wife was still sometimes sewing. I don't know. It's probably not the same for everybody but I know, myself, that however low I get if I see somebody in trouble it puts a rocket up me. Starving to death. Having to hug a heater because the body isn't generating enough of its own. That would tell me that a person is in trouble and I'd have to find out more.
This is the first time I hear someone describe the feelings so accurately.. severe depression episodes makes you feel kind of, crippled.. your soul is exhausted.. you feel empty, detached from yourself, demotivated to do anything.. these tips can really help pull someone out if it a bit faster .. if it's just an hour sooner, it's worth it
I am going through a depressive episode. Both my parents died the past year so I know that is a HUGE part of it. My anxiety is through the roof. I can’t get out of bed, cry all the time, my hygiene is not the best, and am having episodes of binge eating. I don’t want to leave my house, and pretty much live in my bedroom. Taking my meds is so hard to do, barely able to take care of my dog. I am always exhausted. I’ve been cancelling my therapist appointments. I have to tell her and my psychiatrist how much worse it’s gotten the last month. These are the times when my parents, especially my mom would help me. I’ve suffered depression since my teens and she was always there to help me. My life is so complicated now because I’m barely functioning. And I feel I have no one now that my parents are both gone. I miss them so much all I can feel is despair.
One day at a time….
Been there when my dad passed
Sending you so much love ❤
i am so sorry about your parents...this is traumatic.. I live in my bedroom too.. i lost my family as well as my husband to brain cancer and brother to suicide a few years back and I hate that you have this on top of your depression.. wish i could be there with you right now
Talk to your therapist and psychiatrist. I have been talking to mine recently on the phone while in a depressive episode. Having them available and supportive was helpful. I took my meds and reached out to a lot of people. I let people know that I was anxious and depressed. I asked them to pray for me too. use all of your resources. Prayers for you.
I had all sorts of catastrophes happen in the last 3 years as well. I quit my job, curse a lot because it expresses how I feel, started a fitness class, focus on what is healthy for me (avoid alcohol, people that don't really care about me, eat healthier foods, go out in the sun, make sure to bathe daily, etc). Do whatever it is you are able to do for YOU. Do more as you are able to and survive. I am doing better just because I decided to focus on me for real. Things have not changed drastically but I do feel better even though I am depressed, cry a lot, get anxiety attacks, etc. Despite all of that things are better because I am making it better step by step by step. I wish you the very best and be kind and loving to yourself.
I am the opposite with food. I stop planning healthy meals and i start eating unhealthy foods like sweets. I also stop exercising so its a double whammy. The cold winter months are hard for most of us. Hang in there and be gentle on yourself.
“My soul needs to rest” ❤️
yea agree
You forgot a very very helpful tip! Have a Dr Scott playlist ready to go and listen to all the episodes in a loop!
It really really sucks man. Those out there, I am giving you all a big hug. You're not alone
I can’t wait to get out of this life, really looking forward to escaping. I’ve hated life since 18 years old, I’ve around 20 years to go, can’t believe I’ve got this far, every bad experience makes life worse and worse… thank god life does have an end. I sincerely hope after I die it’s like an eternal sleep, no dreams, nothing. I don’t want any consciousness even if positive. Nil.
Exactly my thoughts. I want eternal sleep. My whole life is been a struggle with depression . You are not alone at this.
💯 🔥 🔥 🔥
Except I want to feel the relief death will bring, but I won't feel it.
I understand how you feel. I think you will be able to choose.....❤❤❤
There's nothing. After life is an ego wish.
People don't check on me anymore, nor do they try to get me to go anywhere. I reach out to them less and less but I'm still the half that reaches out and that bothers me and adds even more to my depression.
I feel your pain.
Same
Yeah especially as you grow older and as you lose family members.
I used to post clear cries for help on FB. I stopped doing that when the only feedback I got was, “your post affected me negatively and here’s me shaming you for it.” I am very selective about whom I reached out to as most people only care about someone’s mental health after it’s too late.
@@Clown_Wizard I'm sorry for how they responded to you. I couldn't imagine being so heartless.
I don’t tell people about being depressed because I feel ashamed of it. 😢
I wouldn't tell everyone but hopefully someone who cares about you will not shame you for it. A lot of people understand the struggle. ❤
I hear you, but there's nothing to be ashamed of. This is a real illness and not your fault. You've found the strength to tell people on here that you have depression. That in itself is a big step.
You are right Not to Tell the whole World!! But no reason to feel ashame. It is Not your fault❤
Sorry
I used to feel the same, but I only started to get better when I be able to told my best friend. Try to choose one person to open up about it
8: Go outside. There's no sunlight on your nest. If you don't have a yard, or a front stoop, or a balcony, at least sir in a sunny window (open, if weather permits). If your home doesn't have a sunny window, as soon as your depressive episode is over, MOVE. Natural light is crucial to mood.
I’ve told friends I am depressed & I am immediately dismissed as “you gotta figure this out.” Gee, thanks!
That's what my family does. This is especially annoying when I think about how practically every therapist I tried talking to emphasizes how I need to find a support system in my life. Like, I'm paying you to help me figure things out, don't make me put my problems on my friends and family even more.
It's hard for people who have never really been deep in their cups to understand someone suffering from major depression.
'least they didn't just straight up tell you "You are not depressed. Stop pretending." I knew someone like that once. Never spoke to them ever again.
My family was supportive at first but then they got burned out after a month or so. Now they tell me "well you have to figure this out for yourself. We can't really help you at this point" Now they go on with their life like I no longer exist. They will rarely even return a text. Yup. All up to me now in the middle of major depressive episode. Me and my dog. They don't even check up anymore. I lost 30 lbs. Because I can barely eat. They said Wow you look great. I bet your as handsome on the inside now too! Um what? Denial is easier for them. I don't communicate my struggles anymore because they are just like Well now you're bringing us down too! Gee thanks. 😮
@@cricenyI understand how you feel. I don’t really voice my concerns anymore also. They just don’t get it.
Or "you have lived with this for so long now so you will likely know by now how to handle this"
What is the logic behind that?
Because making (permanent !) changes only gets harder the longer you live the days in bed dry shampoo baby wipes microwave food lifestyle.
One or a few cases of major depression in an otherwise pretty regular basic life, you have muscle memory what that is like, you have vivid memories, you have connections from when you were your normal, high functioning
Decades of depression, never scoring higher on the global scale of assessment is that your nails are cut and clean and you feed yourself and know how to speak in full sentences, in other words you APPEAR fairly normal, means that there is NOTHING to return to because you never got to building anything sustainable.
To change behaviors/lifestyle is hard as is, let alone if you have never experienced feeling "normal" for such a long stretch of time you had time to build a proper life, with all the basic requirements like a job and a hobby and a social life and a house that is pleasant to be in and not a constant source of stress, just basic participation, living your life, instead of basically just existing.
I’m 66 years old and I’ve had many depressive episodes, so I’ve had time to figure some of this out. I finally stopped listening to well meaning people, such as therapists and Psychiatrists who told me I need to keep a schedule when I couldn’t even get out of bed. Maybe that would work for some people, but I wouldn’t tell somebody with the flu they need to stick to their schedule! For me, that’s torture.
I buy paper bowls, and I cook in the microwave. I buy the steamable frozen vegetables. I live alone, so I only have 2 cups, two glasses,one ceramic bowl, two spoons two forks, two knives. I don’t use plastic utensils because they take too long to decompose . I put one of the cups in the sink with soapy water and when I’m finished with an eating utensil, I rinse it off and drop it in there. That way it’s already half washed when I need to use it . I can’t end up with the sink full of dishes if I don’t own any! Doesn’t make the depression go away, but at least I don’t have those dirty dishes making me feel worse. I use dry shampoo and wet wipes for cleaning. I litter box trained my little dog for the days that I absolutely could not make it outside. A task has to be incredibly easy for me to actually do it. Now I just need to figure out my laundry.
Thanks for all you do, Scott.
Thank you for being honest about how bad depression can get. A lot of “depression advice” videos i see are… unrealistic. These are realistic, great tips. Thank you.
I’m a middle aged autistic female. I find that being around anyone other than my husband (my person) can send me into a depressive spiral. I find small talk and just talk in general to be empty and draining. As though a Dementor is sucking my soul out of me. I don’t know how to be around others and protect myself. This unfortunately means that I’m unable to develop relationships with basically anyone else. I find however that not only Dr Scott, but this community is really lovely for someone like me. To have people communicate with raw honesty and pain makes me feel like I’m not all alone. That we’re capable of more than the dreaded “How are you? Lovely weather we’re having “
Oh my god, dito to ALL of this!! Also autistic female here - not quite middle aged yet, but I'm getting there haha
I'm currently in the process of obtaining an official diagnosis, but every single thing you named you're struggling with?
Yes. Just yes.
Especially the part about your husband. My longtime gf of 8 years is the only human not draining my resources, but every other person, no matter how well meaning they might be, will suck me dry.
I'm eternally thankful to have found her.
Nonetheless, it's hard to go through life when you're constantly low energy and HAVE to function, i.e. holding a job.
My personal comparison is playing a triple A competitive shooter game on an outdated computer - if you're "lucky" it'll run, but you'll only be lagging behind or basically play in screenshots while the graphics aren't displaying properly or need an immensely long time to load.
You have to plan everything in advance, be hypervigilant, pretty much playing 4D chess all of the time while your team members and enemies with "newer' pcs don't have to do that.
When you also have to deal with depressive episodes this whole thing gets even worse.
I don't know where I was initially trying to go with this, but what I essentially want to say is: you're not alone. Nobody is.
And although I don't wish this struggle on anyone, it soothes the soul to feel a sense of belonging and earnest understanding from another human being. ❤
Caught this as I'm sinking 3 months after a layoff. Depression + something to be depressed about is a double whammy.... then add winter! Thx.
🐛Get signed up for EMT classes 👉reinvent yourself 👉you can do it🦋♥️
Sometimes when iv told certain people... they actually distance themselves.
You are finding out who your true friends are. That's a GOOD thing. The most important friend that you have is YOU.. Hugs and love to you! 💖🙏🤗🦋🦋🦋
@maggiethecat1538 Thank you. That's such a sweet message. 💙 🙏
Dr. Scott, you saved me many times. One huge thing you took out of my depressive episode is guilt. Thank you.❤
I battle depression every single day of my rotten life. All my dreams and goals have never been met, and I'm just melting into death. Trying to keep a smile on my face for everybody around me. And not to complain or blame them for ruining my life, even though they did.
That part
I know how it feels. 😢
You articulate my feelings to a T! Cat's out of the bag now for us, huh😅 hope you feel better soon 🙏
I understand you! Hugs!
I'm so sorry for your feeling so bad. I'm very sad that if they have done things to ruin your life, you are holding on to misery for them? You're very articulate, you deserve to feel anger and to make changes for yourself and your happiness. I know that is terrifying and paralyzingly difficult 🫂🫂
The truth is most friends will back away from depressed people. The moment you express your depressive thoughts, for one reason or another, you'll no longer be friends with a lot of people. They will make fun of you or simply give you some advice. After that, you'll notice them starting to distance from you and in right moments they'll start mocking you again reminding you of your depressed state. The truth is nobody wants to listen to a sad person or some friends might even be scared of you committing suicide and then them getting into trouble with police enquiries.The world is full of selfish people. Even a psychologists listens to its patients just to earn money. They might do their job well but that's how they keep up with their profession. Sorry if this sounds too negative but that's what I have experienced all my life.
Thank you. You are the best therapist. Some of us don't even have the energy to thank you. I know I speak for many. Thank you.
I'm coming out of a depressive episode but I can't feel better knowing that it can come back so soon. These are so helpful, thank you so much.
Can understand what you say. There is the fear that depression comes back. Because we feel so overwhelmed by it. I feel the same and maybe I am in a similar situation. I try to „turn to my depression“ and understand it better. All the best to you!
Seasonal Affective disorder?
I took early retirement to work on my own overall health. So far so good. This channel is a big help. Thank you. 😊
I am considering that as well. But I cannot decide. I live in Switzerland, had a good job with a good insurance but I burned out.
So, now I am 47, getting "half" a disability pension, which means I am supposed to work 50%, or look for work at least.
Considering my mental development it should not be a problem to get the full pension, which would mean a little more money (not twice as much - the difference is not that important), but I would be free in the sense that nobody would expect me to work or at least look for it.
Somehow I just don't see myself in a work place anymore, on the other hand it feels like being defeated if you accept that you are unable to contribute to society anymore.....
I guess it will be figured out by itself. Eventually it will be checked if I still need the half pension and during that evaluation they will either deem me fit for work, 50% fit or unfit.....
So, why speed up what eventually happens...
Edit: Americans probably cannot relate that it is an option to just live off the welfare state at already 47.
But it is not that common and it certainly wouldn't be an option if I had a family and all that. But I struggled with depression since I can remember. So ending up as a welfare case always was something I dreaded but also something I was glad to be able to rely on when the shit really hits the fan... And during my work I paid a lot into the system, so it's not unfair to also get something out of it.....
Same with health insurance, you never want to use it. But if you have to you are glad you have been paying for it all the time....
And no, neither a proper health insurance or a healthy welfare state has anything to do with communism. This is Switzerland, where all the money is stored.
Would you store your money in a socialist country?
Don't think so 😊
I’m honored to be a part of your plan ❤️
@@Kingcobra6699
I hear you. I've had depression since adolescence. I had a very long (2 year) depressive episode 10 years ago (at 55 yo), and finally had to go on disability because I wasn't able to do my job (or much of anything else) any more.
It was the best decision for me. I now work on maintaining my health as best I can. I still have depressive episodes, longer and more frequently than I'd prefer. But I no longer have the burden of expectations of a boss & colleagues to wrestle with. I have time to try to get enough sleep, eat reasonably well, etc. Thanks to Medicare, I am on meds & talk to a therapist regularly.
I struggled with the "contributing to society" issue for awhile, but I also had paid into the system for 40 years.
Now I contribute to society by doing (limited) volunteer work. I have to be careful not to over-commit, though! My enthusiasm to help others typically outstrips my personal resources, and I don't want to let people down by having to quit if I get too drained or overwhelmed.
Best wishes ❤
I'm old, and a few years back my life long depression turn permanent.
It used to come and go, now it's always. Anhedonia set in, and even playing guitar, my last refuge, went dark. Now playing feels like nothing. I was really hoping i could rely on it.
So sorry. I know the feeling all to well,. The worst part is the hopelessness.
One thing I especially appreciate is that you speak from reality. Not a book you read, or a weekend seminar you attended last month. You understand the problems. Your ideas have worked for you. I hope that I can heal enough to help others too. Although it seems unlikely, I keep running into more layers. I'm told CPTSD is like that.
When I'm really depressed eating is one of the few things that gives me pleasure - to the point that I often emotionally overeat, then overexercise, and feel worse. This is an atypical symptom, and I wish I didn't have it. I also have to mention that it is not always a good idea to tell people when you're depressed. People get compassion fatigue and it's hard to be around someone who is chronically negative. Even therapists and shrinks get impatient. If someone asks, you don't have to lie. But don't expect people to show up just because you tell them you're depressed; it may have the opposite effect and push them away. My mental health issues have been a major contributor to the downfall of all of my relationships. Because depression is a disease of total self-absorption, and very little self-reflection. It's not narcissism, it's survival. But nevertheless, it's a double whammy when you have no social support for when your depressed because your depression ruined all of your friendships. Or at least heavily influenced their demise.
Sometimes forcing yourself to move about helps,even walk about house,and if you find it hard to do anything, just tell yourself to take even one step towards it.
Thank you Dr. Scott, I am in a depressive episode right now, since yesterday. I needed this! You are amazing!
same here and i am already feeling worse about the insomnia because ive been sleeping all day and now i have been up since yesterday. I hate this so much.. for all of us
Sorry to hear that, truly hope this helps!
@@DrScottEilers it is, thank you, I am out of bed, did eat and took a shower. Thank you again, you're truly a blessing!
My biggest issue with eating when I'm struggling is that I don't have the mental capacity to decide what to eat. The result is that I either eat nothing or I grab the closest (and usually least healthy) option available. I live much of my life in extremes. Moderation is not a realistic option for me. I'm sure my mental health would be much better if I could.
My issue with friends is that I have had several over the years who have profess to care and understand and "want to be there for me", but when it comes time, they inevitably let me down. I know...get better friends, right? But after this happens repeated, you lose your ability to believe in people. This leaves me friendless, but sometimes I think it's the safest place for me.
Bipolar spectrum disorder depression plus chronic fatigue syndrome and a list of chronic health challenges have kept me housebound since 2009 and at one stage I was basically bed bound. I'm recovering slowly and hoping to find more hints and tips for helping myself heal and manage my symptoms. I struggle to do anything house related and am limited to what I can do with very limited money and energy.
I'm working my way thru all the videos you post, collecting information to rebuild my life from the foundations.
Thankyou for making it free and easy to understand.
Blessings from South Eastern Australia, Dot
Ive had many episodes od depression due mainly to chronic insomnia. This problem began in my teens caused by bullying.
Im now 67 and just ready to retire worked as a nurse gor 47 years, i pray for inner healing and peace of mind.
There was childhood trauma which caused terrible low self worth and social anxiety.
I long now for peace of mind and a good friend ❤
8:30 I listen to Europop if I feel a depressive episode approaching Songs such as:
Take A Chance On Me, by ABBA
One Step Further by Bardo
I'm Never Giving Up by Sweet Dreams,
Fantasy Island by Tight Fit.
However, Europop is not for everyone. I had a friend listen to these songs and they said they made him feel worse!
I am an INFJ (rarest personality type) and that combined with childhood trauma, assault, divorce, and beating cancer (yay!) equals the perfect storm for anxiety and depression. I keep doing the inner work through therapy and watching videos like this. Thank you, Dr. Scott. The advice that you give (i.e. paper plates!) shows that you truly get what depression feels like.
I have had severe depressive episodes that have lasted for years. I wish that nobody else ever had to feel like this, but at the same time I feel like I am not alone and you get it. I've been watching your channel and get more help here that I ever have from in person therapy.
When you mentioned paper plates, it was clear you understand. Normally when I am in a depressive state I use that trick because a disgusting kitchen makes my depression worse and then my inner voice says you are living like an animal, because who can't wash dishes? From your video where you talked about celebrating your victories and changing that voice in your head, I heard, yay! you are understanding that you are in a depressive state and you are taking care of yourself.
Thank you. You make the world of difference to me and it is very appreciated.
Man, your first suggestion of getting paper plates made me feel seen. I definitely struggle to make myself do the dishes in a timely fashion, which spirals into not wanting to cook because there's no clean dishes and the sink is too full.
I usually eat standing in the kitchen so I make myself put things directly in the dishwasher without ever putting them in the sink.
Just hearing the tip about not even wanting to eat or even chew was a huge tip for me. I found that having nutritious protein shakes available would at least give me a meal when I don’t want to eat. Or easy meals already cooked available just to warm made a HUGE difference for me. Otherwise I would opt for unhealthy snacks. This has made a HUGE difference for me. Thank you for the practical tips.
Thank you. You mention self defeating things I didn't know I do, but at least being able to identify them gives us a better chance. I have a therapist and a psychiatrist but you have to figure out a lot on your own.
It's intimidating sharing that you have depression with people or friends because I feel some people will treat you different or not understand what you're going through. They think its just sadness or dont understand the literal physcial impacts on your body. Before i knew my physical symptoms were caused by major depression I just thought I was physically sick. People without depression just don't seem to understand the physical aspect (pain, weakness, exhaustion, etc). A lack of understanding can sometimes be one of the most painful things.
Thank you!!
thank you for this video. i have been stuck in this i dont even know what to call it ever since a traumatic incident happened to me months ago. i wanna move on but somethings holding me back so here i am stuck, try to just live day by day, enjoy good emotions when it comes and ride the bad ones out slowly to not having it drown me. whoever seeing this message, please know youre not alone. im in this too, a lot of us are..
Thx. I feel very alone 😢
@@elainebezak7158 It's really hard to be alone so much of the time. We aren't alone in that there are so many also going through this terrible ordeal too.
This is incredibly helpful for someone with cptsd also . Sometimes I get triggered and just want to hide from the world while I re-regulate myself, which can last for how long.
Thank you so much for this It helps me alot. I battle depression so much. I have alot of health issues and it makes my depression worse. God bless you for understanding. ❤️🙏🏻✝️
OMG I have been so anaerobic for over a year and all of this applies! I hardly leave home and almost don't eat. Protien shakes are keeping me alive for now. I actually wondered if I have become anorexic 😮 Thank you so much!!
When i was on Prozac and suicidal I would tell my mom and she’d say, “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”
Still don’t tell her when I’m feeling weak to this day
Love your channel and how authentic you are. Thank you for working on yourself so others could heal
Oh Lord. I am so sorry to hear that.
These are so great. Another thing that helps if you have a smartphone is to schedule a ton of reminders that ask “Is this a satisfying thought?” It’s so easy to forget to notice your thoughts and how they shape our view of the moment, so having an external, automatic prompt to check in with whatever thoughts are arising and just see them is so helpful. Don’t try to change them if they’re negative, don’t think positively, and don’t ignore them because that will almost certainly guarantee they get worse. But if you keep noticing them without judging them, they tend to tire themselves out and not hang around. Actually, if you can suspend the habit of judging or evaluating or picking-and-choosing what you do and don’t want to experience for the duration of the episode, that might actually pull you out of it quicker. It will at least make things easier to handle…but you gotta have regular external reminders or you might not even try to do it
Wow I’ve never seen this trick before!! 🤯 What a great, simple way to short-circuit the thought patterns, thank you for sharing!
Thx for sharing this gem
I have to practice thought stopping, or I spiral into dwelling on everything negative. I find there's so much to fight lately, that I almost don't know where to start. Its' very hard to focus on positives, when there's not much hope of things changing anymore. I do a gratitude list and try and focus on that as I get up though.
When i talk about it.. all i get told is , well people have it way worse than you... and told i need to snap out of it. Life is what u make it... you'll be ok. You have no reason to be depressed... so yea staying quiet is better, so i dont get judged. I cant even get a break from my kids. I haven’t had a day to myself in about a year. Im stuck in this house 7 days a week 24 hrs a day. I have no friends , no help... just sucks ... im ready to go home home and be done with this miserable life.
I was in your situation for years, every day felt like An eternity and at the same time I was wasting my whole life away doing nothing and then before I knew it thing's got easier, and easier as my kids got older and more independent I was able to find myself enjoying a more balanced life and that alone helped but the other thing that actually makes me grateful for the depression and loneliness is that I was always there for my kids and having a close bond with them was ultimately worth all of the times I thought I was about to break down. Just remember that your life will not always be this way, you will get back to yourself at some point and you will have a lot to be proud of.
@Happiestoneever785 thank you for your kind words 🙏 ❤️ Thanks for the encouragement 😊
I’m in your shoes! Hang in there!
This is most helpful!! The best $$ I ever spent years ago was buying a small dorm fridge for my bedroom. I like cold soda/water/jello/etc. When I’m in one of my major funks and am in “hibernation mode”, having easy access to my cold beverages/snacks helps me.
i find the state of tidiness of the house is a good indicator of my state of mind. When I'm not putting clothes away I know I'm on that slippery slope
Me too
I’m pretty cynical. But to me you seem authentic and that you are willing to share your fallibility. Most importantly, in addition to making a lot of sense, you come across as truly caring. Thank you for reaching out.
Thank you. I have been depressed for a couple months or so now and I am especially afraid and anxious about how long I will feel this bad. I appreciate your time, effort and devotion to us who are suffering as you obviously have. Much love and grace to you and your family.
I’m currently in a psychiatric unit after being severely depressed and suicidal, I’ve had insomnia since December, waking at 2 or 3 am and being unable to sleep. 8 weeks of that plus depression and thought loops of rumination over things from the past sent me over the edge in to an incredibly scary and suicidal frame of mind, I’ve been in this unit since Tuesday, put on meds and feeling horribly low still, it’s day 4 in here. Severe depression combined with anxiety is unbelievably hard to bare. I have to believe I can see things clearly and have a clearer perspective on things. I don’t like who I am nor this life right now
Hey, just some random person who just read your comment. I hope you’re okay. I don’t have much else to say except someone somewhere (me) is wishing you well!
Been there. There now. You are not alone. Please just try one little thing everyday. . . even if it’s learning to care about brushing your teeth again while you’re there. These are successes. I care about you! I understand 1st hand. I promise.
@@l.linkhart4024 Well I was in that unit for 3 weeks on a voluntary basis. It didn’t help being in there if im honest. I thought I was improving a bit recently but I’ve had a relapse in my mood and struggling again
I don’t know you, but I know the insomnia and rumination well and hope you are feeling better. 🙏🏻
Hey man. Hope you are doing well and hope you pulled through. Prayers for you.
So life day in and day out
Exactly. I feel the same..
Add me to the list
Yeah I think this is geared towards people with episodic rather than chronic depression
Thank you so much for going into detail with compassion the reasons it's so difficult to feed myself in the middle of a depressive episode. It's validating to not just berate myself as being "lazy" or "spoiled" for not wanting to do the dishes or not wanting to cook anything.
My go-to depression meal is plain yogurt with sliced bananas. No cooking, not much chewing, full of protein and good fats, and it's almost like ice cream.
The tip I can't follow through with is telling someone I am in a depressive episode. I know I should but I just can't.
I can barely tell my therapist about my depressive episodes. This is a great video, as always. I somehow always leave your videos feeling surprised by how grounded and non-judgmental the insights are. Looking forward to the day I can see a depressive episode coming and prepare in advance.
To anyone who's interested in nutrition: remove maltodextrin, carrageenan, methylcellulose and modified starch from your diet and see what that does to your digestion, mood and other symptoms. Nothing to lose there and a lot to win ❤
I try to mostly eat whole foods and make sure I take my vitamin naturopath and functional dr recommended Thorne brand Nutrient II and drink Matcha instead of coffee that makes me anxious and negative.
When I was fresh out of break-up, I didn't want to eat but I remember watching Lumma say that eating is very important because it will just make you feel worse if you let your body starve. So even though I had no energy to eat, I still ate. I ate my normal amount because I didn't want my healing to take longer.
I'm suffering from depressive episode thank you for your help.
dr, Scott you are bang on, as being diagnosed with cpsd,& other issues
one can firmly see that you are speaking from experience.
my advice to everyone who has depression/ anxiety attacks my heart goes out to you all! force your self. it does get better! I'm living proof. believe me you are worth every breath you take is one step closer to a beat this mental drain ❤ all you beautiful people.
Depressive 'EPISODES" would be a luxury for me. My latest "episode" has been many years. The only time it's not obvious is when anxiety is so bad, it over-rides the DEEP INSUFFERABLE depression.
No way out. Too many years no treatment has worked. Alone, isolated and elderly. I am barely functional. It's a good day if I can get out of bed before lunchtime and move to the couch. Biggest achievement for the week is showering more than 1 day. Can't remember eating a homecooked meal in years (and it wasn't me who cooked it).
I'd give anything for my DEEP depression to be an "episode". Then again, it's a day much preferred to one of crippling anxiety. The pain and suffering those days are unbearable and they have been dominant for too long 😢
It's funny how people these days talk about how important it is to pay attention to mental health, and to not stigmatize those that have problems...
But everybody i know just basically tells me to duck off, they think that is my fault, and they didn't want to deal with it.
Even family is like "don't need you"
I totally get you on all this stuff. I'm 71 and I'm coming out of another one brought by, I believe, knee surgery and some weird happenstances. I've have been working on managing my symptoms for quite some time and I thoroughly enjoy your videos. This one made me chuckle at times, but the way you said "Crying 's ok, but laughing is better!" just got my funny one for some reason! I'm glad you do this. You're a good one! 💯🎉
I don't just feel depressed "sometimes." I never wake up feeling happy or optimistic. Every day since being a small child, I have woken up feeling empty, sad, and unhappy. There are occasional days when I'm able to push past it & force it. But, when I am able to do that, I have 3 or 4 days of total shutdown afterwards, where I'm almost catatonic. Even on the days when I do feel strong enough, I live right on the edge of my nerves, like a coiled spring. It's absolutely exhausting! I didn't do well in school. Teachers always said the same thing about me. "Kelhi has the potential to be great in school, but she simply chooses not to focus and get on with her work." What they didn't understand is that I was fighting every day against the feeling of wanting to go everywhere all at once. I'm 41 now, and I'm still struggling with myself. All NHS doctors are prepared to do is give me antidepressants. It really feels so futile, like Im banging my head against a brick wall. I tried "betterhelp therapy". But, I was left with the feeling that "Betterhelp" does for mental health what McDonald's does for nutrition. Not to mention that it's outrageously expensive, given the fact that they don't diagnose or treat issues with medication. There's no help coming, I'm stuck in this perpetual shadowland, and it sucks!
I can relate. I feel bad that you are having such a rough time, but at least we know that we are not alone. Psilocybin mushrooms, help me at one point, but I can’t find them now. At least you have a nice profile picture. Take care.
@iamgodphotography Thank you for your kind words. It's comforting to know that someone gets it. You take care, too. 😊
Something you said about not focusing on your work and wanting to go every direction at once… have you checked to see if you have ADHD? That might explain some of it. I wish you the best.
@attheranch873 Thank you, all the best to you, too. 😊
on top of everything else you are supposed to somehow hold down a job
The worst part...
While listening to you I honestly felt "his words precisely described MY depression, how food is of no interest, isolation"...it was as if u knew every thing I think, feel and do. Thanks for making me feel understood.
I agree! He is very empathetic. I think he understands because he has been there, and that really comes through.
In addition to the meal replacement shakes, make sure you have water or something else healthy you like to drink. I know being adequately hydrated is a challenge for me. Being dehydrated makes me more fatigued and triggers migraines, too. I've been depressed since losing my job (and of course my stupid Ex decided to file for divorce when he knew I was probably going to lose my job, too), and I think keeping a bottle of water in the bedroom helps.
Personal hygiene is a problem when in a depressive episode. I have been thinking of buying disposble bathing towels, no shower required, to feel better about myself when I'm in that deep. I already do the paper plates & plastic forks, ready-to-serve meals, and meds easily at the ready. You are right, things have to be planned to ensure we can carry out the steps we need to take care of ourselves until the gloom lifts.
I like Trader Joe's cucumber wipes. Also use dry shampoo, sunblock, take my vitamin, and drink matcha tea. Then wait for the vitamin and tea to take effect so i can do a small chore and walk my dog. Then as long as I don't have contact with anyone I can usually get some of what I struggle with done.
I am watching u from Australia. I have had anxiety and depression for a long time. You are so amazing and I love to listen to u. I have had so much help from u. So many times I am saying that's how I feel to your videos when you explain how u feel. I,love u so much. Thank u I find I am watching you over and over and for the first time I am getting help. Hard to leave home but went for walk yesterday thanks to u
I have been watching avidly through my last episode a few months. You helped me, the anhedonia and nurture videos especially. Like you, I am not a regular "block" I don't quite fit, too many surfaces. I am getting better. I will keep you close. Thank you for all of your help and advice.
Dr. Scott thankyou for your videos. Ive had very hard to treat major depressive disorder since before my teens. I'm almost 67 now. Ive worked very hard throughout my life to maintain marriagges, relationships, friendships, a sociall life, therapy, self-care, medication, my career. Hobbies, etc. I thought by the time I reached retirement my life would have settled and I could use the tools I have learned from therapy, have my furbaby companions to love and care for(they are everything to me, the children i could never have), a niice little apartment. Until all the s*** hit the fan . The seniors building i moved into forced me to give away my puppy or i would be evicted. No where else for me to go. That was my spiral down. My one sister who is left, and my 2 friends, are all just too busy with their own busy lives. They know ive been depressed. Problem is they are used to me being so strong all my life. Im not strong anymore. Im not eating much or sleeping or leaving my apartment. Truthfully. Im no drama queen, but i have given and given all my life. Im exhausted. Just with life. Im getting old. All my joy has been taken away living in this seniors apartment. The freedom you have when you still have your little house with your animals, close to nature to ga hiking, go outside to barbque a nice steak, to still have a car, suddenly everything is taken from you and you ate alone.. all alone. No energy left nor do you you care. I watch others with there grandchildren, or those that travel a bit with husbands that love them, or people that still have family members or pets left. The facts are that now at my age i really dont care if i fall asleep peacefully and not wake up the next morning. Everyone i love is waiting for me on the other side. I dream about them often and dont want to wake up from my dreams. Im just tired of living a hard life, struggling all the time. God just let me lay down now this evening and when i open my eyes ill be there with mom, dad, my relatives, friends and family. Its all I ask for.
I hope you’re ok … I just wanted you to know I heard you - much love from Australia
I’m so sorry Marianne. I often feel similarly, even though I’m at a younger stage. I totally understand that losing your pets particularly would be utterly, utterly crippling. I wonder, and it’s just an idea, could you help out at an animal sanctuary anywhere near you? Take them out for a walk or just sit with them to give them company to try and ease their situation too? I wish you the very best and release from the grip of this horrible state xxxxxxxxx
Awesome suggestions! Some I was aware of, but I’d never thought of the disposable “dinnerware”, or figuring ways of removing the heavier things. I’d always thought you had to just shove through or the episode would last longer. This is fantastic news! Thank you.
I oddly don't have a big problem w/ the dishes. Have a dishwasher and can usually hand wash a pot. Usually only reheat in microwave or toaster oven on tinfoil. Using actual pots involved real cooking, which I get to maybe every few months. if I had kids or others involved, it would be different, but alone, that's all I can manage. Getting the dishwasher unloaded gives me a little sense of accomplishment, ,once a week or so. It's more the cooking.
If you are doing actual cooking, an old friend showed me a great model I've utilized every since, since I have pain/fatigue issues. She would get her kitchen ready just a bit at a time, well ahead of making dinner. She'd get some pots and utensil out. Later, she'd get ingredients out. Then she'd chop veggies a bit at a time, if it was like spagetti. I found this invaluable, as I'd only ever known to do it in one fell swoop. Which could be too painful and tiring. W/ depression, if you can muster those tiny hits of motivation for just a few tasks at a time, before you hit the couch, it's enough. I know motivation is a huge issue for us, as depression sucks it out of us like a hoover.
You are so welcome!
Some people don't understand depression if you tell them. They say"What are you depressed about?" I think that it is wise to avoid those people that genuinely are incapable of understanding.
i managed to get out of bed. Thank you x
And now i'm eating something. I really didn't think that would be possible for me today.
@@izzyquadrinostallwood1940 how do you deal with that "and now what?" feeling after having gotten up?
I am having one right now. I have been feeling this way since last weekend it. It comes right after my hypomania I see my therapist today
Especially the part about social media/screentime. I am taking a break from IG now because of my depression (IG is also a huge depression trigger for me for different reasons) and it really gives me space to feel what I feel if that makes sense. Not looking for that distraction all the time gives me insights and space to really feel these emotions (they are not feeling good.. but running away from it doesn't help me at all, it just keeps me stuck in this endless loop) Cry when I need to cry and just building up from there, going for walks, to the gym but on a slower pace (I feel like the heavy gym classes are too much stress for my body) eating better and listen more to my body and what I want and need to feel better again.
Yep I agree. I have insta but yes you're right. It's a depression trigger 101. It's horrible
I have been handling depression since the passing of my husband just over 10 years ago. It has gotten progressively worse the last few years. I was good throughout the pandemic, kept in contact with friends and family. I continued going to my job, taking care of my home responsibilities. Then everything went down. Noone returned calls, I was ghosted when it came to scheduled repairs. And its still the same. When I am able to speak to someone Im told I will figure it out like I always have ( I dont normally ask for help).
Ive managed to stay upbeat but going home is a different story. Im immediately reminded that i am alone and no support. I fell back into a deep depression. Ive been told I should move then..???
Ive spoken to my Pcp when i start feeling this way and she says " How can i say this without sounding like a B? You need to get over it."
I left crying.
So as much as Ive been educated with the few videos Ive watched, I disagree with this one. It's not easy at all to do any of these things. I feel like Im in a world with a population of 1 ( not including my pets). I dont by any means want to be out of this world, but Im understanding how alot of individuals would choose otherwise.
Me feeling this way, Ive paid more attention to those who are much older and Im sure to spend a few extra minutes speaking to them. That's the positive out of how I feel.
Thank you. I'm in the middle of a depressive episode. At least I hope it is the middle. It has been going on for weeks. One of the triggers is my psychiatrist is leaving. I have had her since 2017. We are very close, and share so many things together about life, not just my mental health. In addition though, she has helped me navigate through so many obstacles in my life. I feel like I am grieving the loss of a loved one. I fear I won't be able to maintain and grow without her. I also have a therapist, who is great also. But, my psychiatrist is something special that can't be replaced. I just want this sadness and depression to go away already. I want to feel confident again, and motivated to keep pressing forward in my goals.
@@Jsan2222 I'm sorry. That is so hard to deal with. Do something nice for yourself everyday that feels good inside. Or that lifts your mood a little. a brisk walk, t.v. time with the dog and a good snack, organize your favorite space inside your house. IDK, just trying to help. I know how hard it is. I hope you are taking care of yourself while this storm passes.
This is so helpful. I can see I figured some of this out retrospectively and will continue to reinforce these subtle changes. Hour by hour, one foot in front of the other, this is all excellent advice.
This is the moast practical and pragmatic advice I've ever heard from a MH professional, thank you. I recently attended a psychoeducation course that was supposed to provide this kind of help but this 20 mins was more useful than all seven weeks.
This was really helpful. The first one really hit home as I have a sink full of dirty dishes that I have been avoiding all week. Paper plates......what a great idea! Thank you for all of your insightful recommendations. They are much appreciated and so realistic.
The phone is my only friend
Excellent advice! Your videos are so helpful. You're a man who knows what it's like to be in the battlefield of depression, and who also has the professional skills to give practical, heartfelt counselling. I feel like you're speaking to me, and that is a sign of a great communicator. Thank you. And well done. 🙏🏻
Thank you for being so kind and empathetic with your suggestions. Sometimes it's hard to find *realistic* helpful tips for depressive episodes.
Thank you so much. You nailed it for sure. I wish everyone out there who struggles that they find relief and comfort soon.
I had a great summer. Then it started to rain for 3 months. My sleeping pattern is all over the place. So I feel like crap. However, my home is clean. I keep eating healthy. Even if I have to force it down my throat. If I can't make myself to eat on time, I make up for it by not looking at the clock and make dinner anyway. Regardless. Food is essential to kill off a depressive episode. Good food, a proper dinner is the best moment of the day. It's better to have a clean and organized home, so your home can facilitate and help you out of the depressive episode. Avoid alcohol. It only makes things worse.
Whenever the sun shines, I have to go outside to get myself some light. All it took to get myself on track, is a clean home, good food, sunlight, chilling out in a forest, and a good conversation. Eat, walk and talk.
I've had a major depression for over a year and a half. It's been well over 2 years since the break up and cheating trauma that started the hell of appetite and heavy weight loss. Been alone for over a year now and still have barely been able to cook. So it's frozen pizzas and dinner, easy, already prepared things. I a great cook and baker. Would have thought I'd have gotten that back by now. Tried to get ingredients for healthier things I wanted to make, but they'd go bad on me. So I re-heat. I big part of the problem, is even when I go shopping, when I can get myself out, I blank out on what to even buy. Occasionally I can think of a few new things, which helps my interest in food more, if I have more variety. Mostly I eat the same old things, so I dread eating all the more. Protein shakes did help me put back 5 pounds. I'd been down as low as 105, to back to 110, which felt so much better for a bit. Still too thin, but the bonyness was kind of scary for a while. Now I'm struggling to keep it on again. Back to 108. I was eating like it was my job and couldn't slow down my roaring, downward metabolism for around a year. Now I'm not as hungry constantly, but that's a problem too. Just so tired of forcing food in, when I don't really want it. So every few days, I work hard on it and in between, it's just too much effort, so barely eat. Not as diligent about the protein shakes either. Wish I didn't get tired of the same old pretty quick, but some of us are like that, esp. when not much is appealing.
Hey man. Thank you for sharing your story. How are you doing now? Hope you are well.
I really learned a lot from this session. Fortunately, I have a great therapist. If she ever retires, I hope I can find someone like you.
Thank you so much, your channel really does help me so much. I love how you are so understanding because you've been through it first hand. That's what makes me really understand and comprehend your videos and suggestions and ideas. I appreciate you Dr. Scott
It is the other way round, friends don't want to see me, when I am down
You are so right about all of this. I can feel it coming sometimes. This information is very helpful.
its hard being a gym girl in an episode, constantly wanting to snack (on the other hand sometimes not eating until 2 in the afternoon) , and being a business/career woman bc I struggle to focus when I have this episode..need to remember to be kind to ourselves
What I most take from this is that I deserve to be better - so much so that I deserve to better take care of myself in order to make that happen. Shocking that I needed someone to tell me but anyhow a good contrast to my internal landscape. In a way that teaches me that my internal landscape really isn’t what it should be.
Well now I wish I had directly said that 😁 thanks for improving the message!
My soul needs to rest, and not for a month, but forever. That is how depression feels like when it hits hard...
What would you say to me if I said those exact words to you, seriously asking, Ty?!❤
@@kimlarso this answer is from the bottom of my heart:
I am sorry you feel that way. I do not have an fair explanation of why, or why you, and realistic solutions are out of my scope. I wish I was God to solve your suffering at the drop of a hat, but I'm far from being God, and far from understanding why He allows many things in this life. I can't tell you how to live your life, neither to end it, neither to continue it. I am at a loss when I find people like you and I. Sorry I didn't say what most people would say, but I tried to keep it real.
i really like this when the absolute basics are impossible...i always try to get up get dressed and eat if i do it everyday one day it will turn and be easier but its soooo hard
I'm a little peed off with the term depressive episode. I live within a 'depressive episode' for decades. It would be a luxury to think this will pass as its just an episode. It's a whole big ass life long depressive episode.
This ...
🍀🤗🍀✌️
Omg! You are absolutely right never thought about have disposable plates and meals
Sometimes it gets out control my kitchen and make everything worse
(No help live with disabled brother) Thank you for sharing your knowledge 🙏
Really great tips thanks 😊 I definitely try to do some of these. The thing I'm worst at is telling people. I'm always just saying "I have a headache" or I'm tired or unwell. I never really tell people in my life what the depression is really like and how deep it goes. Not sure if I don't want to worry them or if I feel like I'm letting them down because I'm not 'better now' like they want me to be.
I hope this is received as intended, but trying not to worry people can backfire. If they’re in tune with you at all they will usually notice when your mood changes, but if you don’t say much about why people sometimes feel it’s something they did wrong. It can be validating and reassuring to let people know “yes, something is wrong. No, you are not that something.”
@@DrScottEilers That's extremely helpful advice and I hear you, thank you. 😊
I have to jump in here: my friend told me today that she is depressed and without hope, and I am so glad that she told me! She trusted me enough to share this deeply private thing. I was honored and humbled by this - and we’re meeting this week. Please tell people!
@@karaokelola That's good to hear thank you 😊 sometimes we think we are just being a burden.
The information as well as the presentation were extremely effective! It is obvious you know your subject & clients well. Thank you!
I came across your platform at a critical time in my life about a week ago. I would not have made it had I not found you.
I suffer from Bipolar, Severe GAD, Panic Disorder, BPD, PTSD and FND which is aggregated by trauma and pain. The trauma trigger results in actual full physical violent uncontrollable movements like war veteran's shell-shock.
I have been startled and relieved to find a virtual mirror of my depressive self (minus the gaming😉). I can finally understand a lot of things that were inexplicable for years and help those around me to understand what is going on. Especially 'freezing',which was actually happening in real time when i first stumbled across your channel and was the session topic
I have started to see some success in following your advice. This particular tutorial on preparation, I can absolutely see the logic and merit in and will implement immediately,with help, to prepare for what I feel is coming and hopefully avoid or shorten the length and impact of an episode. Thank you so much - you saved a life last week.
I don't know what to say except that I'm really glad you're still here
@DrScottEilers If I can now just move from this 'freeze' state and the various other scenarios you mention, hopefully, things will become a little easier. I am classed as unfit for work and work related activities by my psych team. So I have the time to work on your content advice and move forward as best as I can. The work you do is so important, thank you once again
I hadn't thought of disposable plates and plastic utensils. Excellent idea! I do keep Lean Bars (protein bar, low or no sugar and fat) on hand because when I forget to eat (or don't want to) then I definitely don't have the energy to cook anything. And if anyone hates wake-up alarms as much as I do, try a 'progressive' alarm. It starts off quietly and increases in volume. Much less jarring to wake up to.
I use a meal replacement powder blended with kefir and frozen fruit for times when I have no appetite or no energy to fix meals. Cooking can help me with anxiety though, because doing nothing can turn into a horrible downward spiral. This week I made quiches that I cut into portions and freeze - thaw a piece in the fridge overnight and reheat the next day for easy and nutritious meals. You can buy frozen pie shells to make it even easier.
Oh my, I wish I could get back to making nice healthy meals for freezing. I used to make gorgeous homemade quiches. Buy the double pie shells, and freeze one. Make a nice batch of home fries, maybe some beans on the side. Sometimes the beans would be homemade too. Used to even make my own yogurt and bread. Miss homemade food so much. I've tried watching all sorts of cooking videos to spur myself back to cooking and baking. I've tried all manner of visualizing myself doing it again. Nope. Been over a year and a half, frozen and ready made.
Deal with deep depression
And listening to your channel I can relate to so much of it
I had a therapist, but I felt like I was talking to my 30-year-old niece, and at the end of the session we made a date for the next time, but never solved anything
Find a dif therapist ❤
I feel so seen and validated by this video. I have gotten better at caring for myself during depressive episodes due to therapy, but man it's hard. These are awesome tips. Thank you! ❤