Most times, it's the craving, not love. Love is placing the wellbeing of another first. Craving is mostly a desire to fill with something/someone, the inner void we all feel to various degrees. Usually it's a case of sour grapes..
@@mayurkhabrai7892 Love can be defined in many ways, and I think although it's true that putting the other person's wellbeing first is a part of it, I still believe that there's much more to it. Including some sort of crave for reciprocity, because why else would we keep fantasising about things that might never happen? Why else do we feel so happy when talking to that certain person? Because some of us know love isn't complete unless they love you back. And some of us don't want them to love us back, because we're afraid of what might happen next. Basically what I'm trying to say is, there's many forms of love, and I do agree with your statement. Just thought I'd add this as a follow-up
For those wondering. You lose attachment when you learn to love yourself and learn the unhealthy patterns you have. Therapy helps a lot. Same with journalling. Loving yourself just means treating yourself like you would a best friend or S.O. this is because your attachment only exists because you dont know how to give yourself what you think the other person is giving you. And so much more. Get yourself some flowers, buy your favorite dessert on the way home, take yourself out to a concert, a movie or a vacation. I promise its a lot more fun and a lot less awkward than you think it is.
@@abbz23It's easy actually. Simply create a TH-cam channel, use the audience now as a surrogate for validation. Pose pretentiously for the camera flaunting your physique & let the noise flow, do some editing, express your self obsession masquerading as wisdom ..& it's done..😐
@@Phoenixguy357You have it all figured out. So much so that you now are handing prescriptions for us mere mortals who are always wondering..Thank you!
Yes she did explain how to detach, she took back her power and was able to see this person for exactly who and what and how they are and started to love herself again. No longer looking at that person through rose-colored glasses it was probably painful and took a long time but she's back to herself❤
I definitely created him to be something special, he was super nice, gentle & loving to others who used him and disregarded his feelings, but he was not like that to me!! I definitely became less infatuated with him! Thanks for this❤❤
It's important to accept things as they are... otherwise you're trying to put up more obstacles. Others lives are probably just as ordinary as yours, the attributes that you ascribed to a certain person were miraculously undone. Obviously he was a jerk to her and it was hard to move mountains, so to speak. But not impossible....what we resist persists....
i gotta save this video to remind myself everytime I'm thinking of her. Looking back I realized that it was me who made her so special when in reality she's below average in most aspects of life
This is powerful , thank you . A person can’t change overnight. What he can do to one , he can do to many. We just have to learn to accept that not all that we like and want so bad , is good for us. We have to learn to walk away and we have to learn to let go of the obvious.
Yes Me too facing this from a couple of months To all my friends don't waste your valuable emotions and energy on toxic person We had only one life Don't waste it
He hang me dry way too long. Now we are talking again, I might get to see him on a date this weekend. But I feel nothing, no more emotional connection. Exactly like you said.
@@slowedvibes5348 yeah I get it…now. I started coming to the realization over time though. Seems like i recently watched this, but 8months is the stamp
Going through this now... my wife of 16 years spent the first 5 years complaining about the man and soldier she married... So I've spent the last 10 years in intense therapy and self evaluation and improvement... she decided she was good enough and didn't have any faults or shortcomings to address... Now I'm so far beyond the man I was... I no longer desire the relationship
What’s hard is that they are those positive traits, sometimes. And bc you so desperately want someone who is those things you will lie to yourself and dismiss their bad traits for a while. But then you realize more and more that they aren’t good for you at all.
I get so confused when a man doesn’t raise his voice in the relationship. A calm collective person can still be so mean …. Be careful what he does when he’s not yelling or aggressive. He might still be playing games, being manipulative, & hurting your precious heart ❤
Thank you for this one Jenelsy. Very apropos. I’m recovering from a similar situation - a reminder that men that love deeply can also experience these same feelings.
Positively projecting onto someone the Prince Charming in our heads never ends well. Always ends in disappointment because we always have to fill in the gaps between how he’s falling short and our idealized version we want him to be. All while he’s benefiting from our precious life force we should be outing into ourselves and our own purpose & passions. Just no.
Because we sometimes fall in love with the potential of a person, it is also linked to limberence ..which reveals our attachment style that every single human has. Which in turn teaches us about ourselves.. lessons & blessings.
She already said how to detach literally we are the one who make these people so special but they are more empty dark and stupid from inside out .. even the attention he or she gets is because people lime you and cuz of u they also like him .. If you consider that the people around you needs more help than you are more in depression ... literally ask me they are more depress then us nobody likes or loves them at all .. people aren't fool lime us they know who you are and know who is the one u like it or make it special they know truth about them..
Like in my current relationship when we first started dating they were very loving and sweet but now I see them showing their true colors more as time goes by. It sucks when you meet someone who seems so perfect for you and connects with you and then one day you realize they aren’t that way at all anymore. They’ve become super distant and don’t seem to even want you around
Please don’t say “ not at you at least “ . That’s not true. He can do the same thing to other women. Please accept that he’s not the one for you. The one destined for you will make you feel like a queen . Someone who’s simply happy bc youre happy . Someone who will do everything to make you happy.
I absolutely LOVE this and know it to be true. My expectations finished us. I make him great in my mind which has become a prison ~ HE is my prison. I love him from a distance now.
I would say becareful when you detach, but most of the time it's a self defense mechanism. This girl made me numb 11 years ago to the point where even when I talk to my mom now a days, idek who that person is. There is nothing there. Idk who anybody is. Idk who I am. I live in this self created reality where nobody can hurt me & the downside is, I'm now just a lonely vessel that can't feel. I can think of the past & feel who I once was as a kid, but as a man, in the present, I guess I can't allow it
What I'm saying is.. When you really actually detach, there is no freedom, it's nothing but loneliness. There is no more love. There is no more feelings. For those that think you've detached, you really haven't, you just think you did. There is no more relationships. There is just you, alone.
What about physical attachment? I lost all feelings for her, i thought about all the bs she made me go through, but her charm always makes me down bad.
I feel some sort of pain at the moment because of someone from my past.. I really want to cry it out but no tears came out to my eyes no matter how tried to. right now im trying to process my emotion because it feels like the reason why I felt this such pain is because I was too attached to him. I'm starting my greatest healingnow. I hope some of you guys can give me some tips and advice to overcome this. will be back here sooner
He was...but then again, if you've pushed him away without even considering him...I can see your point...this mesage is not for the op, it is for my beloved, since she won't read it anyway.
Now that I’m lookin at this video, and I see “The version of him that I had created, he was none of those things” and all I can see is how a lot of people in this comments thread, that I created, but not all of you, like the person that wants to detach from caring so much, about animals, children and loved ones. I get that, because you want to protect, the innocence, of their bliss and ignorance, about the dangers to come, or present. A few others as well are the exception. The rest of you are like this video, and you are kidding yourselves, and delusional. Man bombing is not the answer. You are the answer, stand up and hold yourselves accountable for the things that happen with you, and not against you. From pain, and suffering comes what ladies??? Gratitude, and appreciation. Humbleness, and eventually joy, and bliss because you have finally evolved to see you created your own demise and can now rejoice because you are still standing, and are here, and accounted for. Now you can set yourself up to. E in your own spotlight, and showcase to the world the glory of God, and how you have been brought through and out of the darkness. U can be the light, and shine it upon the world so that people that are lost, can be found again. Now let’s get to work ladies we have a job to be doin
@@Arcange93iam This is just my perspective. I’m a woman who was married 24 years, then divorced then remarried to same person. That’s a broad brush you’re painting imo. Why does anyone have to be at fault? I think it’s perfectly healthy to see your partner grow into their better version. More so, harder yet to stay by that person during transitional phases and see the results of those growth cycles. Marriage is to help refine us, and ultimately glorify God; for those who believe in Him.
![HIWWHEE | OHM [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/OJJLtTLqLag/mqdefault.jpg)
Yes "it was my love, my energy and effort that made him special. Without it he, he is so ordinary "
So now you have to give your love energy and efforts and attention to that who really love and care you..who u ignore
"How to narcissistically convince yourself that you are the only good thing about those around you"
So self brainwashing, got it. Seems healthy.
Most times, it's the craving, not love. Love is placing the wellbeing of another first. Craving is mostly a desire to fill with something/someone, the inner void we all feel to various degrees. Usually it's a case of sour grapes..
@@mayurkhabrai7892 Love can be defined in many ways, and I think although it's true that putting the other person's wellbeing first is a part of it, I still believe that there's much more to it. Including some sort of crave for reciprocity, because why else would we keep fantasising about things that might never happen? Why else do we feel so happy when talking to that certain person? Because some of us know love isn't complete unless they love you back. And some of us don't want them to love us back, because we're afraid of what might happen next. Basically what I'm trying to say is, there's many forms of love, and I do agree with your statement. Just thought I'd add this as a follow-up
❤
For those wondering. You lose attachment when you learn to love yourself and learn the unhealthy patterns you have. Therapy helps a lot. Same with journalling. Loving yourself just means treating yourself like you would a best friend or S.O. this is because your attachment only exists because you dont know how to give yourself what you think the other person is giving you. And so much more. Get yourself some flowers, buy your favorite dessert on the way home, take yourself out to a concert, a movie or a vacation. I promise its a lot more fun and a lot less awkward than you think it is.
How long does that take tho
@@abbz23 theres no way to guess how long. Maybe months maybe years. But the key is that you have to be consistent with yourself
Therapy doesnt work
@@abbz23It's easy actually. Simply create a TH-cam channel, use the audience now as a surrogate for validation. Pose pretentiously for the camera flaunting your physique & let the noise flow, do some editing, express your self obsession masquerading as wisdom ..& it's done..😐
@@Phoenixguy357You have it all figured out. So much so that you now are handing prescriptions for us mere mortals who are always wondering..Thank you!
“The version of him that I created” - spot on 💯
Yes nobody is so special... We give so much important and respect and love to someone who doesn't deserve our attention...
AINT THAT THE TRUTH!!
We break our own hearts. Unfortunately
Yes she did explain how to detach, she took back her power and was able to see this person for exactly who and what and how they are and started to love herself again. No longer looking at that person through rose-colored glasses it was probably painful and took a long time but she's back to herself❤
Detach from everything and you will be forever free
I definitely created him to be something special, he was super nice, gentle & loving to others who used him and disregarded his feelings, but he was not like that to me!! I definitely became less infatuated with him! Thanks for this❤❤
"not with me at least" real
It's important to accept things as they are... otherwise you're trying to put up more obstacles. Others lives are probably just as ordinary as yours, the attributes that you ascribed to a certain person were miraculously undone. Obviously he was a jerk to her and it was hard to move mountains, so to speak. But not impossible....what we resist persists....
Obviously as he treats one person. No one knows what goes on in his head and how much people take out their anger even on themselves....
i gotta save this video to remind myself everytime I'm thinking of her.
Looking back I realized that it was me who made her so special when in reality she's below average in most aspects of life
Yes. I made him feeling special. Focusing on myself and my own money and saving, starting to be brave for myself. I'm taking myself back
This is powerful , thank you . A person can’t change overnight. What he can do to one , he can do to many. We just have to learn to accept that not all that we like and want so bad , is good for us. We have to learn to walk away and we have to learn to let go of the obvious.
Thank you gal...You suddenly made me realize that I am missing the version of him that I had created....
In the words of jhene aiko, " You ain't sh** and you weren't special til I made you so."
Yes
Me too facing this from a couple of months
To all my friends don't waste your valuable emotions and energy on toxic person
We had only one life
Don't waste it
He hang me dry way too long. Now we are talking again, I might get to see him on a date this weekend. But I feel nothing, no more emotional connection. Exactly like you said.
U didn’t explain how to emotionally detach at all!
😂
lounge on a track with ur leg tucked under you
Stop seeing them for what they’re not.
@@slowedvibes5348 yeah I get it…now. I started coming to the realization over time though. Seems like i recently watched this, but 8months is the stamp
Yes she did. She stopped giving him her energy.
God it hurting please give me strength that i can move on
❤
Same
Going through this now... my wife of 16 years spent the first 5 years complaining about the man and soldier she married...
So I've spent the last 10 years in intense therapy and self evaluation and improvement... she decided she was good enough and didn't have any faults or shortcomings to address...
Now I'm so far beyond the man I was... I no longer desire the relationship
What’s hard is that they are those positive traits, sometimes. And bc you so desperately want someone who is those things you will lie to yourself and dismiss their bad traits for a while. But then you realize more and more that they aren’t good for you at all.
I get so confused when a man doesn’t raise his voice in the relationship. A calm collective person can still be so mean …. Be careful what he does when he’s not yelling or aggressive.
He might still be playing games, being manipulative, & hurting your precious heart ❤
U're right
There is nothing wrong with loving hard, as long as you love yourself harder😊❤ i am with you girlllll
He was a boy. Not a man. You will find your king because he's out there looking for his queen. Keep fighting on sister ⬆️💯
✊🏾💙💯 Shotout to the Real Kings .
So true, all of us will find "the king" or queen 😍
I’m happy for you boo. You deserve to be happy. You see your value now. Now manifest your dreams ❤❤❤
An insecure narcissist's NIGHTMARE
I need this playing on a loop in my head for the next few days
My love my energy and my efforts... nothing matters to him.
Emotional manipulation destroys a loving relationship 💔
WOW Man, so deep, AND real, thank you.
I needed this today. Thank you so much ❤️
Can’t save shorts, so I’m commenting so I can still find this in my notifications
Hit the like button and itll appear under your Likes list.
if you click the 3 dots on the top right you can save to a playlist🌻✨
Thank you for this one Jenelsy. Very apropos. I’m recovering from a similar situation - a reminder that men that love deeply can also experience these same feelings.
Positively projecting onto someone the Prince Charming in our heads never ends well. Always ends in disappointment because we always have to fill in the gaps between how he’s falling short and our idealized version we want him to be. All while he’s benefiting from our precious life force we should be outing into ourselves and our own purpose & passions. Just no.
The timing was so right for this video..
I feel this so hard
Same.😔
Yo hearing this helped me realize some things with my ex and how I picture her. Thank you
Love the part where they tell us how to emotionally detach as the title suggests ❤
They mirror back what you want to see.
When you look in the mirror you only see the reflection not the mirror itself.
She was those things with me!! 😢 but she definitely had her flaws. This video hit the nail on the head I’m really impressed thank you 😮💨🪽
Because we sometimes fall in love with the potential of a person, it is also linked to limberence ..which reveals our attachment style that every single human has. Which in turn teaches us about ourselves.. lessons & blessings.
This spoke to me. I needed this today
This brought tears to my eyes so it’s time to go….
She already said how to detach literally we are the one who make these people so special but they are more empty dark and stupid from inside out .. even the attention he or she gets is because people lime you and cuz of u they also like him ..
If you consider that the people around you needs more help than you are more in depression ... literally ask me they are more depress then us nobody likes or loves them at all .. people aren't fool lime us they know who you are and know who is the one u like it or make it special they know truth about them..
This happened to me, the infatuation completely disappeared and now I find them so annoying lol
This is so beautiful ❤ Well done 🥰
Yes. I've created him too distant, because previously I created 1 too near! But to create the RIGHT SITUATION? ??
Thank you so much I needed to see this ❤
Like in my current relationship when we first started dating they were very loving and sweet but now I see them showing their true colors more as time goes by. It sucks when you meet someone who seems so perfect for you and connects with you and then one day you realize they aren’t that way at all anymore. They’ve become super distant and don’t seem to even want you around
Please don’t say “ not at you at least “ . That’s not true. He can do the same thing to other women. Please accept that he’s not the one for you. The one destined for you will make you feel like a queen . Someone who’s simply happy bc youre happy . Someone who will do everything to make you happy.
Hit me like a tonne of bricks but I needed it 😊
I absolutely LOVE this and know it to be true. My expectations finished us. I make him great in my mind which has become a prison ~ HE is my prison. I love him from a distance now.
I would say becareful when you detach, but most of the time it's a self defense mechanism. This girl made me numb 11 years ago to the point where even when I talk to my mom now a days, idek who that person is. There is nothing there. Idk who anybody is. Idk who I am. I live in this self created reality where nobody can hurt me & the downside is, I'm now just a lonely vessel that can't feel. I can think of the past & feel who I once was as a kid, but as a man, in the present, I guess I can't allow it
What I'm saying is.. When you really actually detach, there is no freedom, it's nothing but loneliness. There is no more love. There is no more feelings. For those that think you've detached, you really haven't, you just think you did. There is no more relationships. There is just you, alone.
I can feel exactly.. but only thing is it took me 17 yrs to understand and completely detach..😢
Great reminder ❤
How to detach from someone who is kind, emotional and gentle?
a mans nightmare
😂 timeless art of seduction
So touching 🥺😭
People always fall for toxic people... I fell too
How to loose a emotional attachment first ??
I badly need that
man this shit is so real and hit home for me!
What about physical attachment? I lost all feelings for her, i thought about all the bs she made me go through, but her charm always makes me down bad.
This is not exactly detachment, this is you keep bringing focus to you, you and yourself, that is one of a narcissist trait.
🗣thank you for saying this
I feel some sort of pain at the moment because of someone from my past.. I really want to cry it out but no tears came out to my eyes no matter how tried to. right now im trying to process my emotion because it feels like the reason why I felt this such pain is because I was too attached to him. I'm starting my greatest healingnow. I hope some of you guys can give me some tips and advice to overcome this.
will be back here sooner
I needed to hear this ❤thank you
Going through that myself right now, but why does it hurt so much? 😢
True. But it’s very rare that only one person is at fault for a failed relationship.
Not rare
@@Sonic_sorceress it is.
Inaccurate. But to play devils advocate, based off what you said it happens so I don't get the purpose of your post.
@@criminalsurveillance & I don’t get the purpose of your comment so we’re in the same boat.
manexplaining for what? Your girlfriend don’t want yo ass no more huh 😂
Wow it's as to say people fall in love with the idea
Thats how i feel about my ex gf smfh felt this in my soul…
He was...but then again, if you've pushed him away without even considering him...I can see your point...this mesage is not for the op, it is for my beloved, since she won't read it anyway.
I needed to hear this today
But he is all of those things... that's why it's so hard for me to let go 😔
same
Just be realistic about the situation
She did the same with me but Id rather have it that way
My current situation wish ms luck 😢
God I needed this
This is so relevant.
Sounds like a disordered perspective 100%. Idealization phase
It talks exactly about me 💔
Thank you love 💛💛
Reported for terrorism
needed this
Woudnt that also create the possibility where youre actively making precious people seem ordinary by lacking in love, effort, energy ?
Don’t put people on a pedestal.
Unless you want to look up their skirt… 😹
Wowww..❤
This one is Deep 😩😩
Now that I’m lookin at this video, and I see “The version of him that I had created, he was none of those things” and all I can see is how a lot of people in this comments thread, that I created, but not all of you, like the person that wants to detach from caring so much, about animals, children and loved ones. I get that, because you want to protect, the innocence, of their bliss and ignorance, about the dangers to come, or present. A few others as well are the exception. The rest of you are like this video, and you are kidding yourselves, and delusional. Man bombing is not the answer. You are the answer, stand up and hold yourselves accountable for the things that happen with you, and not against you. From pain, and suffering comes what ladies??? Gratitude, and appreciation. Humbleness, and eventually joy, and bliss because you have finally evolved to see you created your own demise and can now rejoice because you are still standing, and are here, and accounted for. Now you can set yourself up to. E in your own spotlight, and showcase to the world the glory of God, and how you have been brought through and out of the darkness. U can be the light, and shine it upon the world so that people that are lost, can be found again. Now let’s get to work ladies we have a job to be doin
I feel so exposed 😢
Thanks miss ❤
Absolutely
This was so on the money
I love that video ❤
😢Women love way too hard 😢
Im kind gentle and loving
That's a you problem home girl, you idealized him before getting to know him! 😂
It’s nothing funny really
You are so beautiful and kind
Oh wow!
Thank u
A man will be with a woman hoping she'll never change and a woman will be with a man hoping he will change. Who's at fault?
@@Arcange93iam This is just my perspective. I’m a woman who was married 24 years, then divorced then remarried to same person.
That’s a broad brush you’re painting imo. Why does anyone have to be at fault? I think it’s perfectly healthy to see your partner grow into their better version. More so, harder yet to stay by that person during transitional phases and see the results of those growth cycles. Marriage is to help refine us, and ultimately glorify God; for those who believe in Him.
He was toxic 😭😭💔💔
This is so true
Yesss❤❤❤