Please consider becoming a Patreon for a completely ad-free experience. You also help us continue to make content like this. And please check out Izaak's channel www.youtube.com/@IzaakThomasMusic . He's behind the visuals and music
Hi @@Sisyphus55, the background music is so so great and I cannot find it on Izaak Thomas TH-cam so can you please help me with the background song’s name? Thank you.
Yup...this is me. Divorced now for 16 years. My ex had an affair and left me for a co-worker. We had no kids. Been single and alone this whole time. I am not still in love with him but want to start dating again. I have no clue how to meet someone. I don't want to do dating apps. I also have massive trust issues. I need to move forward. 😢
@@KH-nt7ej Sometimes trauma masks itself as love. Good choice not going for dating apps, it’s statistically very unlikely to find something long term in those apps. Try healing your traumas through therapy or your own way and look for someone organically. It will be really hard but you have to nurture the plant before reaping its harvest.
@KH-nt7ej adityarohanik0 is right. Chasing is detrimental to your mental space and confidence, and you won't be able to find the right person until you've healed your core wounds and can practice self-love so completely that you don't actually NEED anyone else to love you. Paradoxically, that's also when you start attracting people, so you don't even have to bother chasing anymore. It's incredibly freeing to get to that point, but also a bit scary...I really don't feel that I NEED anyone else for anything...which means it's a choice to allow someone to be added to my life, and if they want to leave or I one day choose to leave them, it's fine because I didn't need them in the first place, and if I want to I can replace them. It sounds a bit harsh and unromantic, but it's true. I kind of think it's more beautiful, because it makes the relationship more of a choice than a desperate attempt at satiating a need.
@@harbe0 Your ex? It might be best to accept that you'll feel this way forever, and that you cannot force it to work. Maybe she IS a good match for you. Difficult for me to say. If you try to be completely impartial, leaving feelings and attachments on the floor, what is actually keeping it from working out? Like, if an omniscient unfeeling being was to comment on it, what would it say? If you guys were so great together, how come it didn't work? Is there something one of you could work on, that would make it work, without either of you compromising your identity? If you can't work it out, then maybe the best thing for both of your lives would be to accept that the best thing you guys can be, is friends and parents. I felt this same way about my ex. Luckily, we didn't end up sharing a child, but that was the co-dream. After A LOT of thinking, I finally saw through all my feelings; we would both be happier without trying so hard to be together. We were just never meant to be. My heart, the dreamer, still wants me to find a way back there with her, but I tell it "buddy, we'll find someone who fits the dream better". That's not necessarily your situation, though. Just trying to relay perspectives that might shake up yours a little. I hope you figure out where you're going. Sometimes it's good to not be able to see the road in front of you...as long as you don't stand still or move backwards.
The imagery of the movie theater lights still on and you still sitting there after everyone has left, insisting the movie is not over yet, is very beautiful and profound. I have felt that way.
@@FishareFriendsNotFood972 Its so beautiful and it hit me in a very strong way to a personal level i love someone who clearly doesnt feel the same and to be honest it sucks i wish we could pick and choose who to love but we cant and i guess thats what also makes it so great that element of surprise but i never even had a movie i was never in a relationship with this person
Echoes a lyric from the song "Lost My Music" from the 2000s anime Haruhi Suzumiya: "Issho ni mita CINEMA hitorikiri de nagasu" - "In the cinema we watched together, I weep alone" I do blast this song occasionally when I feel like reminding myself that I'm not over it.
"Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go." -Jamie Anderson
Yeah I’m not sure I like the phrase “getting over” either. I don’t want to forget about them, or pretend like they didn’t exist. It feels hard to continue on without them right now but I’m so glad we had the time we did. I don’t think I’ll ever “get over” them, but I’m gunna do my best to keep going all the same.
We all carry pieces of the people we love with us, regardless of whether they're here anymore or not. I've been trying to move on from a very rough unrequited crush on a girl who's too old for me, and even though I realize we were never destined for romance or even long-term friendship, I'll always remember the kindness she showed me and remember to be kind to others too.
You are right. I've got an email from her after years of not hearing anything from her, and yeah, there is a small part of me that fools itself, but luckily, I drown it, and I was just happy to see that she was fine. Yeah, old times will never come back, but seeing her fine is enough, and it did brighten my day.
What has helped me was introspection and time. After getting my heart broken I knew I needed time to grieve a life I wanted so badly but never will have. From there I’ve decided to create a new one. I’ve learned to be happy alone. I would love to find someone but I’m not desperate for love. No longer needy. I don’t need to fill the hole with someone anymore. Most importantly I’ve learned to love myself. To accept who I am and not need others to give me purpose or a life dependent on external factors. While she will always have a place in my heart I have moved on and am better than I was wanting and dreaming about her. I am whole.
I'm in the boat of not accepting being alone and thus always feeling extremely depressed and yearning desperately and forever to get back what I had. Accepting being alone in my mind is the same as accepting to be alone forever and I genuinely rather die. I'm on a crossroad. But I think I know I need to choose the path that ends.
@@Adama.1 accepting being alone isn’t necessarily the same as never being with someone else. I myself do plan on dating later on but I’m not depressed because I’m single. I’m not dependent on someone else to save me from myself and because of that I accept and am happy with being alone. I don’t need another to complete me because I complete myself. If this makes sense?
Romantic relationships are not a beautiful thing. Romance causes a lot of problems in this world. Life is a lot better without romance than it is with it. Romantic love is not special at all, and I think that the romantic type of love isn't real. More than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other. Romantic relationships are objectively very prone to failure. And most couples who are still together are usually not happy being together. Also, there are a lot of toxic romantic relationships. Like an example is that abuse happens a lot in romantic relationships. Studies prove single, childless, women are the HAPPIEST demographic. Women are the happiest when single and focused on themselves.
@@icysnow57cold64 i feel that proves the significance of romance, as something that can cause that much pain and duress must feel like drugs when it works out even if it isnt for long
life will be good. I refuse to sulk and waste away the days. I want to continue to love, meet new people, and meet new and better versions of myself. I want to live. I hope you do too stranger
This past few months has been an eye opener for me, the one I love, the one i cherish still Left me, I lost alot of friends because of her, she often said they were bad influence on me, and she still left me, i still love her and that is what hurts the most. Love sometimes is unexplainable and cruel.
I feel your pain,Believe me I do, i was in a similar position, he left me, but i couldnt just let him go because i knew i was the cause of it, i chose my work over him and the kids, I didnt want to loose him, so i contacted a spiritual counsellor for advice on how to get him back and to my greatest surprise it worked out, she brought him back to me, and its been over a year and half, i have never been this happy.
Thank you for this, I know i wasnt alone on this i often sit and think what i will become without her because i have no one else, I think i might just give this a try,how did you get in touch with him/her, if you do not mind me asking.
@@PspTomisi please be careful. Allow yourself to feel your feelings and allow yourself to move on. As the saying goes: expect the worst, hope for the best.
For me, it's that feeling of wanting to move on, while also never wanting to get over them....because that would mean that my love for them wasn't eternal. It would mean that my love has faded, even though I never believed it could. It feels as though my life now simply has to be comprised merely of loneliness and sorrow, only for me not to feel invalidated in my love that I've so desperately tried to hold on to. It's dread, brought on by happiness. I know feelings can be temporary, especially if they're not fostered continually and that it's a good thing to see that I'm not completely stuck. Yet, a part of me forever wants to stay stuck. Never letting go of the greatest feeling I've ever felt and letting it become a memory. But it's not like I'm actually still feeling it. It's not like it's still the present. It's not as though it hasn't already become a memory. A painful one. It's just so hard not to let it hurt me anymore. I'm addicted, in a sense. I love her. I always will, I know that. I just hope someday that love will keep my memories a warm and happy place instead of making my current state of mind clouded and dismal.
It’s so surreal watching this video and then reading all these comments that feel like they speak directly to me, like they’re almost my own thoughts verbatim. I used to feel like I was so alone, and even though everyone goes through heartbreak, my love was somehow different or stronger, but watching this video and reading these comments is actually so cathartic cause I realize that I was just stupid, and this is something that so many people go through, and there are people who probably were closer to their partners or had been with them longer than I was to mine, and in a way it’s so humbling
this hurt my soul bro... I feel exactly like this.. knowing no matter what you do, things will never be the same.. she is now a ghost of the past.. a dead love long buried in the past.. a distant memory you can only re-collect as a thought, and nothing more.. a once happy time in life where you felt this unconditional love.. now your just picking up the pieces to something you promised to stay for through the thick and thin.. no matter the obstacle you both may face.. and even though she promised she would to.. the person left broken and empty inside after it all.. is yourself.. and thats because you wanted that love so bad.. the genuinety in the words you promised her.. while she breaks hers and leaves you in the dust.. that hurts... and what you read hurt my soul bro... praying for you and everyone missing someone they loved! 🙏🏻🙏🏻
This was literally words taken from my brain and put here. I want to move on obviously but it’s like you said you don’t want to bury the love you had and let go of that feeling of what made you whole and what made you actually smile when you got up in the morning. They’ve become apart of you and it almost becomes more like trying to bury apart of yourself which is like trying to rip out a piece of your heart
If anyone wants some advice that helped me when I was in this situation: take the love you would’ve shared with them, and share it with your friends and family. Spend more time with them, talk to them often, or hang out when you can. It helps spend that energy on something more beneficial and helpful
I love this way of dealing with it. I did something similar after spending a lot of time caring for someone who was unwell and self destructive. After I was finally able to move on from providing care for them all the time, I spent a lot of my love on reconnecting with my best friend and have been happier for it since. Spend your love on the people who want it and can reciprocate, even if they aren't your first choice.
@@iijay-galaxyii4606 I've literally done this. Once I was hurt that someone wasn't as active in a relationship as I needed and through that rejection I challenged it towards being grateful for those that were in my life.
Hey, it happens. I've had the same happen to me. I guess we can take comfort in knowing it's a rather universal experience, even if we're too scared to let anyone know about it (besides through the anonimity of the internet). It's not about "Getting over", it's about "moving on". It's perhaps not a bad idea to simply accept this person will always have a spot in your mind, and live with that fact. Maybe it helps to put it in perspective: Every single person you've ever interacted with has a spot in your mind; it just so happens this person has a particularily large spot. And that's OK, because they've had a large influence on who you are as a person, and part of your personality and life has been shaped exclusively by that person. That person is part of who you are, of course you're not just gonna forget them! Forgetting them is equal to forgetting part of yourself. The same way one couldn't just "forget" about their mother or their father once they die, you can't just "forget" a person you've cared and felt so deeply for. And this is independent on how you feel about that person, wether you hate them or love them. As life goes on and you meet more people and acquire more experiences, this person, statiscally speaking, will take less and less of your mind and your persona. Obviously this isn't linear; you WILL relapse, and it WILL seam like you're going nowhere, and maybe even backwards. But it's inevitable that as long as you keep your life moving, and you keep meeting people, and you develop your personality further, you will change. And that part of you who is still under the influence of that person, will be overshadowed by many other, newer people. Or maybe it will just have to adapt, and share the space with them. The key is to move on. You have to keep living, you have to keep experiencing life, you have to keep meeting new people and having new experiences. You can't let yourself hang over the past constantly. That way, it will never diminish the pain you feel over it. It obviously isn't easy, I know that. And it will feel worthless at first, and for a while afterwards. But the only thing you can do is to try, because sadly there isn't any other option. We just have to keep living, even if we're hurt. Pushing forwards, in this sense, will always be better than giving in.
It's funny I'm writing this because even though I actually do believe it's true, I'm suffering from the same myself. I'm telling you to do something that I can't bring myself to do. I'm a hypocrite. But that doesn't make the last comment any less true. I may be weak, but that doesn't mean everyone else is weak too. I won't give up. But I think it will be particularily hard for me to "move on". Sorry for any spelling mistakes, english is not my first language.
@@cIoudbank Think of it this way, you’re capable of truly loving someone. Something that lacks in the world we live in. Be proud of that. I suffer the same with you brother.
Also, think about how you can be with other people for 2, 4, 8, 12 years and never feel as strongly about them as someone you dated far more briefly. Certain people, at certain times, due to certain factors (often beyond anyone's control) leave outsized impacts on our souls. I try--with varying degrees of success--to be grateful to have been impacted so deeply, despite the awesomeness of the pain.
I once dated a girl for like 50 days and it took like 2 to 3 years to sort of feel okay from that experience. Time required to overcome someone doesn't even matter for how long you've known thar person. So don't consider yourself stupid, cause it happens.
People who can't move on need to love themselves more, if that person you loved doesn't want you then they don't deserve you. Do not fall into despair, instead work on your self and keep putting yourself out there, the right person will come eventually who will love you for who you are.
For me it's about being honest about what I really felt, aswell as the other person. No lies like "They never loved me"... because they did. And they proved it throughout those years. No lies like "I never liked them that much, I knew it wouldn't work out"... because I did love her, and I was so lost in that love that I couldn't think of a life withouth her. If I do that, I allow myself to work with reality, not a scenario created to protect my ego. Accepting that she loved me like no one ever did, and yet still, I lost her, is one million times more crushing than telling myself she was a monster who never cared. But... accepting that allows me to uphold the biggest achievement of my life, and that is: That I loved... And I was loved. That I can say, regardless of how caotic it all was in the end. You won't be reading this, I know. But if you were, I would want to thank you for allowing me to feel the most beautiful things I have ever felt in my life. I do not want you back. We can not be together again. I accept it. But I have kept you in the back of my mind for years, and there you will stay, mixed with the pain of what you did, and the gratitude for what you gave me.
But why couldn’t she at least tell me before she blocked me on everything. We both said we would talk again and she goes and does that. On every little platform. For what?
@@justinmorales9597 I'm sorry to hear that, mate. Maybe she is afraid of the pain of maintaning a contact, yet with the same feelings she had before, even thought things aren't the same.
@@justinmorales9597for me, she simply told me to stop texting her. when i said “I’m here when you’re ready to talk”, i was hit with a “i have nothing to say to you, please stop texting me”.
I love when Sisyphus, just out of nowhere, altruistically but savagely mauls my ego and shows me that my selfishness is the cause of my severely self inflicted pain from longing AND THEN makes me realize that I am not alone in experiencing this longing.
I love how it's okay to just say 'I don't know' and that there is no 'magic solution' or that it 'will just get better' . I love how Sisyphus doesn't make any promises to his viewers, just that life goes on and you learn how to deal. I hate the media's over romanticisation of suffering and making false promises of quick fixes and the light at the end of the tunnel. Know that you are living now, not tomorrow, so it's better to live through the reality of pain and choose yourself than have false hope that eventually diminishes later in life.
It surprises me seeing all the comments remarking the timing of this video, I wanted to say he same. Now I feel connected to all of you strangers, it feels good hahaha
iIt was my 25th birthday yesterday. I had some friends over and spent a good time with them, but after my friends left, I ended up cleaning all the dishes and watching your video alone at night. Maybe this is the ultimate experience of adulthood: accepting that everything shall pass, like a suffocating mantra. Or perhaps we fall in love with people who don’t love us back because it is easier to endure pain than to pursue real intimacy and the idea of leaving behind fleeting happiness for a more mature and responsible joy. Thank you for the video. Writing this after watching it felt like the most honest thing I could do now.
happy belated birthday dude! im 19 right now and the phrase "everything shall pass" has been very prevalent. it can mean bad things can pass and that's desirable but it also means good things can pass which can be harder to deal with... i have no idea how to find someone who loves me back and i just got incredibly devastated by a 23 year old guy who ghosted me.. it's like i really liked it in the moment but after that dealing with the broken pieces was much harder... thanks for your comment
just focus on yourself and get better in every aspect of your life, if you dont know where to start i'd recommend you finding unveiling your hidden potential by bruce thornwood
it's weirdly heartwarming to see all the comments about this being this video being in "perfect timing", really shows how we're all not alone or special; i think in the end we're all just creatures of love and loss, learning how to live without the sun, trying to believe we'll one day find the moon.
It feels so silly having unreciprocated feelings , utterly embarrassing and makes me feel shameful. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense, however time heals what sense can’t and the sky will still be blue no matter what
I think "wisdom" is the solution here. You need to be wise enough to understand what happened has happened, and you're better off continuing your journey than staying there or worse looking back. Wise enough to know life goes on.
@@nabieladrian hey thank you for your comment, i can see a bitter but truth good point from what you've said. Thanks, that hit me hard. I think yeah we should have a wisdom at least eventhough hard to accept it. Eventually.
When we parted ways, I hoped time would heal everything, because everyone tells you the same. It didn't, what was once a continuous stabbing pain is now a blunt aching. The stabbing pain returns at moments when I least expect it, fortunately it doesn't stay forever like it did before. The blunt aching, however, remains. It's like my brain over time has forgotten the little details that hurt me, but the pain still remains. Leading to this continuous and inexplicable sadness. I just wish this pain stops, that somehow I get over the person. She's truly been in my head for far far more long than she's ever been in my life. I still love her, I wish I didn't. Thank you Sisyphus, you make me realize and accept the flaws in me, in my life, that I know exist but I turn to denial and delusion.
Man, I'm not sure if I've ever read a comment that I can so closely relate to. It's hard to describe this to almost anyone I've encountered. Some think I'm pathetic, some think I'm insane. The hard part for me is that even if it somehow would workout again in the future as unlikely as it may seem in your head, would things be the same as it was, or would you both have changed so much that it wouldn't, and you're stuck reliving, romanticizing the remenents of a unity of two former selves. A certain saying comes to mind- "Man cannot step into the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man." You're not alone, my friend.
I spoke with them on the phone for an hour last night and finally realized you really need to let people go not everyone will make you feel the same but also not everyone values you the same love yourselves in every aspect you can Ty for the video
To everyone suffering know this, you’re not alone. We will get through this pain eventually and everything in this world is temporary like our very own existence. So take a step back and focus on yourself.
When you're the kind of person that navigates in deep waters, those that you allow to become navigational beacons don't just disappear from the horizon because a relationship ended. You keep passing them by, sometimes you even honk your foghorn, and when nothing comes back, you're reminded that your sense of direction is forever broken. You end up sailing on a sea of phantoms and abandoned lighthouses.
I don’t know how this happened. But the first video you made on the nature of love showed up on my feed a few days after meeting my girlfriend years ago. Now this one shows up 3 days after she became my ex.
It's been hard accepting that I will always be reminded of her, no matter how much I've wanted to forget and move on. But what's been even harder is finding anyone that compares when I heard melodies in her words and saw galaxies in her eyes. Let alone trusting someone that much again without taking a lot of time to let these walls down again.
More than 80% of these broken friendships and relationships are not repaired solely due to ego, not because they’ve hit an impossibly thick incompatibility wall. That is what is sad in our human condition.
This video beautifully expresses what I'm currently going through It somehow makes me feel like I'm not the only one out there who's facing this, and that we're all struggling through this in similar ways, in hopes for a happier future
The problem with "this" type of emotional love is that it has nothing to do with love. It's all about control, expectations, and then making you feel a certain way to cover up some underlying darkness that already existed in you. You only experience this type of heartbreak when you make someone more important than yourself, and they literally become your god. The fact we "risk it all" for them says exactly that. The most beautiful part is when it's over and having to deal with all those feelings you get to see how wrong you were for all it. Real love is helping them pack their bags and wishing them well in the next phase of their lives. Look how far we fall from this at the end of these types of relationships.
I absolutely agree with you! The pain the negativity all the things I experience right now those were things that were within me the whole time. It was not fair to abandon my healing, myself... and put the whole weight and responsibility on somebody else than me. I was running away from myself, and now I just have to take care of what I left there unresolved.
The way this guy describes these concepts is really poetic, and it hits you in moments you didn't expect. "I'm really just crawling in the dark here. Towards those lights at the end of the tunnel, hoping they aren't oncoming trains". Like damn
Love is not selfish. If you love someone the last thing you want them to do is stay with you if they aren't happy in the relationship. You can morn the loss of the closeness, but that shouldn't last long because you know the person you love is moving towards happiness and wants you to do the same. They aren't dead- you can still have a relationship with them after a time (couple of years I find is best) - it will just be a different kind. Some of my best friends are exes and I never stop loving them and I'm thrilled when they are happy. The horrible awful feeling of a breakup, if you're honest with yourself, is entirely about YOU, not them. What you think it says about you, what you think you can and can't do without them, if you feel that the best thing to do is figure out what those things are and find the power to be great and do great and usually you will find it doesn't say any of the things about you you think it does. Or sometimes you need to change something.
Going through a break up right now, I'm just looking forward to the day where I wake up and go about my business without them even crossing my mind. Then you no longer think about the time you shared negatively but see it as a part of what it took for you to grow as a person.
This weekend i cried a river after watching the before sunrise trilogy, i even wrotte a letter to my ex, just to say ti much i miss him and hope him good, its been a year and i felt im not moving on, but thata not true, i did moved on, i keep making my life, and its okay to be overwhelmed with nostalgia and cute memories from time to time, to everyone who's heart is broken, just keep going, keep loving, and its okey to never forget, good memories are there to be remembered :)
It is not okey to never forget, illness should be cured. If I could, I would completely delete all memories about ex, they are useless and painful. Well, sometimes it feels good, remembering all the cute nice stuff, but this times I feel that dangerous creature hiding behind all that, desperate incapability of getting all back, deep diving in this is too scary. And happiness becomes not full, even when you are doing alright, there is always this 1 second of remembering that life could be even better with ex. So the only thing left to do is making this "even better" as small as possible by becoming more and more happy, like another person level of happiness, that level, where it is hard to imagine of you in this condition being with ex, because you are different, you are better, and all that love, previously coming to her, now staying with you, because you love yourself so much, that no love left for ex. Maybe it is like pyramid, then you find another one, creating more love space or idk, than forgetting her by the same thin. Is anyone here with multiple ex girlfriends ? I mean real ones, 2 year + relations. What is your remedy and how it works on you?
Ahhh yeah I watched those movies over & over & over again, yes 3 times over a span of years, I loved them especially the first one Before Sunrise; Julie Delpy great acting & all her dialogue in the 3 movies & not a word wasted IMO. I agree with *everything* in your comment.
I like that this highlights the struggle of overcoming, since it at least points to if not includes the fact that this usually isn't a lesson you only learn once. It's almost one you have to relearn everytime you stumble. Accepting yourself is going to be something you have to continually relearn how to do as you change and make different mistakes, and while it's painful it is usually very introspective, like to be left to only yourself helps you rediscover and connect with that person, who you are, more deeply. Great video as always
the timing of this video is scary. ive liked him for 2 years now and my bpd makes it worse. but over time, ive come to realise i dont even like him. ive slowly come to think why i even like him this much, and its because hes confident and smart and im not. ive used this knowledge to better and improve myself and look at him as an inspiration rather than an idol who im obsessed with.
Sometimes I try to practice gratitude at experiencing grief, as I could not miss so dearly if I never had something worth holding on to in the first place. The past never disappears, it's only ever transformed.
Today I was stood up and this video is a big help for me. It feels better knowing I’m not the only one experiencing these feelings. It’s hard to push on and I’m still working on it. It’s hard to look the other way, but I think the more you practice something the better you get at it. So feeling down can be expected, but you shouldn’t hold onto whatever it is for too long. Live your life and have fun, whoever comes along for the ride is someone you should be thankful for and appreciate.
Don't settle, the person you try to settle with will eventually know that you use to love, need to love, someone like this again, and that they can't get to this level. It kills the relationship, but it takes you months to realize.
This was beautiful. Your example of me being in the movie theatre when the lights turn on, and I insist the movie isn’t over, is exactly what I’m doing. I’m still in the bargaining phase of my breakup, and it’s time for me to accept and let go. You’re damn right, you beautiful, amazing TH-cam poet, it’s time to love myself and be the best me, I can be.
Thank you, I’ve gone through the thoughts that you mentioned “they made the wrong choice” and “if only I did this or that, even if things weren’t different at least this would be embarrassing.” You took the words right out of my mouth somehow. Thank you for letting me know im not alone.
your metaphors are written beautifully. they are interwoven with thoughtful references that make my mind chuckle with curiosity. thank you for the video.
It’s been fascinating watching your emotional growth throughout your videos Sisyphus. I think it’s a great gift from the universe that we can be humbled by reality at any age, at any time, in response to any action.
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
YES! You can get over someone you loved, it’s not easy but time, and just living your life and trying to focus on being the best you can be in your circumstances. I was suicidal after my last break up, 2 years of therapy, retraining to a better paid career with better prospects, and focusing on being great parent helped me.
just went out after a few months of hibernating... had a wild experience. came home feeling a way & put on youtube & this was my first recommended... been through a lot. missing someone 2nite. love u soul family ❤
4.7.2024 was the last time I saw her. She stopped by to drop by some of my belongings, some of which she had held onto for years. I threw the box in my storage unit and I haven’t looked at it since. At the time, I was destroyed. I was dead inside. I tried to pretend like I was okay but she could see right through it, I could tell. I would’ve done anything to be able to kiss her one last time. That was one of the hardest interactions I’ve ever had in my life. Then, I was a zombie. But now, I would genuinely be happy if I never saw her face again. It’s funny how time changes your emotions. After the heartache has passed, after all the sleepless nights, after all mornings spent praying to God she’d come back comes a moment of realization; I don’t need her and I never did. After you get comfortable with this realization, a new one creeps into your mind; I don’t *want* her. One day, you’ll fall in love again, and find yourself reflecting on the past and telling yourself “that was worth all the pain” whenever you look into their eyes. You’ll never have them again, not like how it was. But you will find that with another person. Be patient, it just takes time.
that blissfully unaware innocent obsessive love to the drop down of reality was truly the best way anyone has visualized and described what I have gone through and I'm thankful I'm not alone here.
needed this. at least now i know that whatever i'm feeling rn, is not something abnormal. at least now, i can tell myself-"it's okay to feel like that, this is a phase, and it's the best for me." yep, i'm at the bottom, but there are people, good people- who will love me/already loves me just the way i want to be loved. can't overlook them, can i?
Thx a lot bro! As a 14 year old i recently went through this really devastating heartbreak. Some might say it wasn’t real and was lust, or that I’m young and impulsive. But, i really think it was love, every day and night thinking about her. This video really encaptured how i felt, and helped me overcome questions and obstacles i asked myself everyday. Thanks a lot for this video man.
This was very comforting to hear. I also feel comforted seeing everyone else's comments. I've reached that phase that I accept what happens and don't force things. I used to hold on too tightly to the ones I loved. It always took me long to let go. It seemed like I would lose sense of myself when someone I deeply cared about decided to silently yeet themselves from my life. I would grieve the loss of closeness, the could've beens. I kept wondering why they left without saying a word, either upset with myself or them. It was an exhausting cycle. Perhaps, it gets easier as we get older and establish our identity more. We become more understanding and compassionate. There are boundaries we shouldn't cross. Partings really happen so we treasure the present more. We are open to reconnect if there's an opportunity, but life goes on even if what's left with us are just memories.
The timing of that video is just... I woke up today in tears, after yet another dream of her. It's been 4 months since our breakup. My first real relationship, lasting three of my 20 years of life
There was this girl i dated for 6 months but after the third month i was just drained but i stayed because i wanted her to leave me. I didnt have the balls to tell her how i actually feel about our relationship and leave her, i wouldnt be able to handle the guilt. I want to stay and give her hugs, for the first three months i loved her genuinely but my impatience led me here. She told me she felt empty at the 6th month, ten days after my birthday. I gave her time to think and i offered to help her if she needed, but she came to the conclusion that just splitting would be better. I am alone, I am manipulative, I am a control freak, I'm glad she left me so she can find a better man. But constantly thinking for her and about her, i completely forgot to think about myself, what will i do now? i guess im just back to existing, a side character. And to be honest, finding a new girlfriend still feels like im cheating, like im unfaithful so i guess i havent actually moved on from her, not yet
I really needed to see this, thank you so very much my friend. By the end of the video I was in tears. Thank you for telling me the truth. I needed to hear it, even if it was the truth told to me by a complete stranger. Thank you.
Yes, you can. It just might take a lot longer than you think. I am about to turn 30, it took me almost until now to get over my first girlfriend I met when I was 20, but I rarely ever think about her anymore and when I do it doesn't hurt anymore. Finding out years later that she got over me in about 5 minutes definitely sped up the process, its hard to keep caring about someone who replaced you like a used tire. A wise man once said "birches ain't shit"
When you reach the level of the love that is overwhelming you, genuined, unlimited, cosmic - believe in it. Against ALL odds. Despite people around, voices in your head and self-doubts. After all, the choice is always yours. And I've made mine.
I also liked the imagery of the theatre. That was so good. It’s the perfect description of holding on to the “what if”… even though it’s obviously done. I used to be passive on the idea of love. I didn’t really care much about it like some people. I mean romantic relationships. I was content with reading novelas and my “book boyfriends” as others call it. It’s like vicariously feeling the life of the character without having to actually experience it. Safe and you know, a good ending. But God was really cooking up something with that last person he placed along the way. In a nutshell, I believe we meet people that makes us see things about ourselves that we wouldn’t have been able to without being with them. And a word to those that are hurting from a person right now, scripture says “do not lean into your own understanding, but trust the LORD and he will direct your path.” - what might be something painful right now for you, is saving you from an even deeper hurt 3 month/3years down the line. We never really know everything. So, let’s all mourn for our emotions but pick ourselves back up! 🫂🫂🫂
Thank you for this, sisyphus. When you go from being so close to another human it feels like you share a heart to being alone the pain is inevitable and intense. At some moment i realized that the pain i feel is a testament to how much i cared. This sanctified the pain and instead of hurting me, it cleansed me. What are we, if not the sum of the care and affection we give to the world? Secondly, whether we ended up together someday or were never to meet again, I optimistically think we will be happy. Or, better put, whether together or apart, our happiness is a responsibility of each one of us. Those helped me a lot, but emotions still run wild at a flash of memory. It was a deeply intriguing and rich experience, falling in love for the first time as an adult. I used to be embarrassed about it, now I wouldn't have changed a thing.
Struggled with this exact topic and have felt everything said in this video. The best advice I can give is that your own lovability is not from that one person but from yourself. Don’t close yourself off from being happy again. Much love ❤️
"These are scars that shape us" - definitely. Every lost love has taught me so much about life and myself. I learned something everytime and I'm happy to be finally able to see it this way without downplaying the suffering and the heartbreak I experienced. ❤
I haven't felt like I was victimized or they made the wrong decision. Honestly, they probably did the right thing. I do believe i could have been much better, made a lot of mistakes out of selfishness, narcissism, and ignorance. They did the best they could. I truly believe that cuz i know em. I wish i was better, more aware of my harmful patterns. Something I am still learning from. We cant really know anything, now or of the future. We dont know how things will change, all I can do is be true to how I feel in that moment, and make the best of it. But I do believe that if you dont feel like you could do anything for someone you love, after dating them for a while, and are still haunted by your past loves, it is better to let em go. Cuz everyone deserves selfless love and devotion. The "True Love" feeling is important i feel. Not obsessive love, but a deeper one of understanding, acceptance and devotion.
I have a few ones that got away. In the time since I've come to understand my drive to return to them is a schema I've given the fond title "my heart". It's tricky to come to terms with this because all of the emotional weight of having a heart is tied up with the existence of these schemas, they're all using my real heart like someone would use a human shield or kidnap someone for ransom. The way forward is an unconditional love of the past, all of its trappings, truly accepting and embracing the past for what the past is. We're stuck with this past our whole lives, there isn't a single way to change it. The more we love the past the more prepared for the future we'll be, and because of that I have no regrets. I wouldn't change a thing. Couldn't. I love it too much.
Why is the timing and accuracy of this video so spot on with everything I’ve been going through and feeling lately. GET OUT OF MY HEAD SISYPHUS!!! (maybe we’re all just the same)
I wish I had this video back in October, it took me a long time to heal properly and I got into another relationship still wounded, and I felt guilt for that and it led to issues but through all of this I have found the one for me, no matter how broken I was she still held me even if she hurt herself in the process, no matter what she would care for me and while I was in the midst of devastation of “loosing my lover” I found out that true love was so much more, after all of my healing I am the happiest I’ve ever been, for those out there going through heart break and regret just know there is someone out there waiting to find you in their arms, you can’t let a failed relationship get in the way of that, learn and improve yourself so when you find that person you can make them as happy as they make you
Honestly i wish i had this fairytale heart break he describes, this perfect little contained break up where they love you and still care for you but must go on, everyone just wanting the best in the end for a happily ever after, a life goes on ending, but that's not what i got, in all my chances for love i was the fuck up, no one to blame but myself, sure she had problems, but it could've been saved, i could've been saved, these past years could've been the best of my life, i could've been happy right now, but no, because of my idiotic miss calculations, pathetic expectations, a lack of ability to be better until it was too late, hindsight's 20/20 i know, but its my fault, i should've known, and this isn't a question of "how could you have known" i dont get to give myself such grace cuz i should've been better, the hints were there, 2nd chances, triple chances, i was given so many chances to fix myself, and now this is where i get to live, this is what i get, and the pitchers ran out, this is the life i get
@@fobo3361 i don't know if it would help to tell you not to be so hard on yourself, but you can't particularly stop the spiral of thoughts. I hope you're doing better now. all i can think about is All the things I could've done correctly. The truth is, you would've never seen things clearly till things unfolded the way they did, no matter how many scenarios you create in your head. I wonder if i have it in myself to be a better person now, in their complete absence.. i wonder if i have enough love to change myself and move ahead.. I want to be loved so desperately, all that love i want to give is melting into grief, i want to have an anchor, a home, a compass- but that's too unfair. People aren't all of those things.. they're people.. you're a person too as flawed as you were and will continue to be. You'll be alright, you'll get better.
Great timing. She has been a recurrent character of my dreams for the last month. Simply appearing in a scene, taking a seat, and sharing our thoughts and interests, or maybe enjoying a cup of tea like we used to. Met her 6 years ago, she was my first love, first kiss, first everything... broke up with me on january. Honestly the relationship wasn't very smooth at times but I always looked for ways to try to make her happy and help her with her family issues (though the last few months we found it hard to see one another due to college and distance). Idk, I´m still numb about it all. Even though she´s not in my life anymore she's more present than ever.
I can't imagine myself in ur place, for me both fof us are on the verge of breaking up, he actually said he's done yesterday but after i begged him not to he said he's staying. I cant imagine my life without him he always felt so right and still feel right i need help
I'm sorry to hear that. I don't know what kinds of problems you two have had. I can only tell you to try to find an open and sincere dialogue in regards to how you two feel about one another, from that point onwards try to work as a team, it's the two of you facing those problems. Apart from that there isn't much more, just remember to be kind and forgiving (but don't be a pushover). In regards to my situation, I've pretty much decided to continue caring for her well being. I desire nothing more than happiness for her, whether with me or without me.
I agree with all of this except one thing: That person who moved on? They didnt care about you or your feelings. Thats a lie people tell themselves to avoid feeling bitter. The truth is that person didnt care what happened to you or how you felt, they cared about how they felt, which obviously isnt the same as it once was which is why they moved on.
Yeah, I've been going through this repeatedly over the last year or so. Lot of shake ups in my social circles and people I thought would be there with me that aren't anymore. I think of them almost daily even still, but each day I've generally managed to let go of some of the frustration and sadness, and tried to hold on to what was good and what I learned from them. Even if we never share words again, they contributed to my growth as a person, and I will always be grateful for that.
the feeling is so draining sometimes but i find comfort in accepting that it just wasn’t meant to be and ultimately, it will probably be better for me.
went through a breakup almost a year ago, i still struggle with getting him off my mind everyday. the loneliness is getting easier to manage. im trying to focus on myself more rather than him
Please consider becoming a Patreon for a completely ad-free experience. You also help us continue to make content like this. And please check out Izaak's channel www.youtube.com/@IzaakThomasMusic . He's behind the visuals and music
*I HATE YOU*
Hi @@Sisyphus55, the background music is so so great and I cannot find it on Izaak Thomas TH-cam so can you please help me with the background song’s name? Thank you.
It's a horrible thing to have someone in your head longer than by your side.
@@harbe0 this. this hit hard as a truck
Yup...this is me. Divorced now for 16 years. My ex had an affair and left me for a co-worker. We had no kids. Been single and alone this whole time. I am not still in love with him but want to start dating again. I have no clue how to meet someone. I don't want to do dating apps. I also have massive trust issues. I need to move forward. 😢
@@KH-nt7ej Sometimes trauma masks itself as love. Good choice not going for dating apps, it’s statistically very unlikely to find something long term in those apps. Try healing your traumas through therapy or your own way and look for someone organically. It will be really hard but you have to nurture the plant before reaping its harvest.
@KH-nt7ej adityarohanik0 is right. Chasing is detrimental to your mental space and confidence, and you won't be able to find the right person until you've healed your core wounds and can practice self-love so completely that you don't actually NEED anyone else to love you. Paradoxically, that's also when you start attracting people, so you don't even have to bother chasing anymore.
It's incredibly freeing to get to that point, but also a bit scary...I really don't feel that I NEED anyone else for anything...which means it's a choice to allow someone to be added to my life, and if they want to leave or I one day choose to leave them, it's fine because I didn't need them in the first place, and if I want to I can replace them. It sounds a bit harsh and unromantic, but it's true. I kind of think it's more beautiful, because it makes the relationship more of a choice than a desperate attempt at satiating a need.
@@harbe0 Your ex? It might be best to accept that you'll feel this way forever, and that you cannot force it to work. Maybe she IS a good match for you. Difficult for me to say. If you try to be completely impartial, leaving feelings and attachments on the floor, what is actually keeping it from working out? Like, if an omniscient unfeeling being was to comment on it, what would it say? If you guys were so great together, how come it didn't work? Is there something one of you could work on, that would make it work, without either of you compromising your identity? If you can't work it out, then maybe the best thing for both of your lives would be to accept that the best thing you guys can be, is friends and parents.
I felt this same way about my ex. Luckily, we didn't end up sharing a child, but that was the co-dream. After A LOT of thinking, I finally saw through all my feelings; we would both be happier without trying so hard to be together. We were just never meant to be. My heart, the dreamer, still wants me to find a way back there with her, but I tell it "buddy, we'll find someone who fits the dream better".
That's not necessarily your situation, though. Just trying to relay perspectives that might shake up yours a little. I hope you figure out where you're going. Sometimes it's good to not be able to see the road in front of you...as long as you don't stand still or move backwards.
The imagery of the movie theater lights still on and you still sitting there after everyone has left, insisting the movie is not over yet, is very beautiful and profound. I have felt that way.
Its such a good metaphor
@@FishareFriendsNotFood972 Its so beautiful and it hit me in a very strong way to a personal level i love someone who clearly doesnt feel the same and to be honest it sucks i wish we could pick and choose who to love but we cant and i guess thats what also makes it so great that element of surprise but i never even had a movie i was never in a relationship with this person
Mm, giving me Erased vibes
Echoes a lyric from the song "Lost My Music" from the 2000s anime Haruhi Suzumiya:
"Issho ni mita CINEMA hitorikiri de nagasu" - "In the cinema we watched together, I weep alone"
I do blast this song occasionally when I feel like reminding myself that I'm not over it.
same here
"Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go." -Jamie Anderson
😭😖😭 it’s going, it went, don’t doubt it
Beautifull
“What is grief, if not love persevering?” - Vision, Avengers Civil War.
@@isq9901 "grief is the last act of love"
Yo, this spoke to my soul. I teared up reading this. Thanks for sharing!
The moments you decide to publish certain videos, sigh
Same bro
Same here , a day ago he broke up with me.
So freaking trueeeeeeee
Actually tho
@@Robert.101 ikr 😭 feels like an invisible punch to the gut
It's not about 'getting over'. It's about learning and moving forward. We always carry them with us, we care, they care, life just keeps moving
Yeah I’m not sure I like the phrase “getting over” either. I don’t want to forget about them, or pretend like they didn’t exist.
It feels hard to continue on without them right now but I’m so glad we had the time we did. I don’t think I’ll ever “get over” them, but I’m gunna do my best to keep going all the same.
We all carry pieces of the people we love with us, regardless of whether they're here anymore or not.
I've been trying to move on from a very rough unrequited crush on a girl who's too old for me, and even though I realize we were never destined for romance or even long-term friendship, I'll always remember the kindness she showed me and remember to be kind to others too.
I agree but I almost feel it would be easier to forget then I wouldn’t have to hurt
You are right. I've got an email from her after years of not hearing anything from her, and yeah, there is a small part of me that fools itself, but luckily, I drown it, and I was just happy to see that she was fine. Yeah, old times will never come back, but seeing her fine is enough, and it did brighten my day.
This is so beautiful, thanks for sharing!
Sisyphus never fails to rip my limb apart one by one as I scream in excrutiating pain and agony meanwhile my consciousness slowly fades away
I think that's prometheus with the vultures but it's close enough
most sane Sisyphus viewer
what i love about this channel is that it tells you the things you dont wanna hear in a good way. whether you want to listen is up to yourself
/pos*
@@vectorsahel5420 Exactly
Why is the timing so perfect... I hate it but I love it 💀💀💀
Hard same
you… love it?
RIGHT??
@@lostworld4252 so hard to know I'm building her for an another man😂
same
the timing on this one was WILD
@@maluultravioleta you okay my guy?
I agree
I'm in the same boat
Eyyy same, gang gang
IKR!!
Honey Sisyphus uploaded. oh wait
real.
Ouch - i felt that, mate D:
fuuuuck
good one :”)
Goddamn...
What has helped me was introspection and time. After getting my heart broken I knew I needed time to grieve a life I wanted so badly but never will have. From there I’ve decided to create a new one. I’ve learned to be happy alone. I would love to find someone but I’m not desperate for love. No longer needy. I don’t need to fill the hole with someone anymore. Most importantly I’ve learned to love myself. To accept who I am and not need others to give me purpose or a life dependent on external factors. While she will always have a place in my heart I have moved on and am better than I was wanting and dreaming about her. I am whole.
well said
I'm in the boat of not accepting being alone and thus always feeling extremely depressed and yearning desperately and forever to get back what I had. Accepting being alone in my mind is the same as accepting to be alone forever and I genuinely rather die.
I'm on a crossroad. But I think I know I need to choose the path that ends.
😊😅
@@Adama.1 accepting being alone isn’t necessarily the same as never being with someone else. I myself do plan on dating later on but I’m not depressed because I’m single. I’m not dependent on someone else to save me from myself and because of that I accept and am happy with being alone. I don’t need another to complete me because I complete myself. If this makes sense?
@@mitthrawnuruodo1730 what did you do to get to that point and how long did it take you? Sorry for being direct..
"if it was meant to be, it would be" that deals more damage than a truck
I swear to god...
To me this thought is actually liberating
yet it is not true, it's not how world works, nothing is meant to be
Romantic relationships are not a beautiful thing. Romance causes a lot of problems in this world. Life is a lot better without romance than it is with it. Romantic love is not special at all, and I think that the romantic type of love isn't real. More than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other. Romantic relationships are objectively very prone to failure. And most couples who are still together are usually not happy being together.
Also, there are a lot of toxic romantic relationships. Like an example is that abuse happens a lot in romantic relationships.
Studies prove single, childless, women are the HAPPIEST demographic. Women are the happiest when single and focused on themselves.
@@icysnow57cold64 i feel that proves the significance of romance, as something that can cause that much pain and duress must feel like drugs when it works out even if it isnt for long
Make way, here comes the broken people, hope y'all have a good life
You too mate, I hope you have a good live yourself.
lmaooo here we are!!!! the algorithm loves our pathetic souls 😂
I hope life will be good
it gets better, guys.
life will be good. I refuse to sulk and waste away the days. I want to continue to love, meet new people, and meet new and better versions of myself. I want to live. I hope you do too stranger
This past few months has been an eye opener for me, the one I love, the one i cherish still Left me, I lost alot of friends because of her, she often said they were bad influence on me, and she still left me, i still love her and that is what hurts the most. Love sometimes is unexplainable and cruel.
I feel your pain,Believe me I do, i was in a similar position, he left me, but i couldnt just let him go because i knew i was the cause of it, i chose my work over him and the kids, I didnt want to loose him, so i contacted a spiritual counsellor for advice on how to get him back and to my greatest surprise it worked out, she brought him back to me, and its been over a year and half, i have never been this happy.
Thank you for this, I know i wasnt alone on this i often sit and think what i will become without her because i have no one else, I think i might just give this a try,how did you get in touch with him/her, if you do not mind me asking.
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
@@PspTomisi please be careful. Allow yourself to feel your feelings and allow yourself to move on. As the saying goes: expect the worst, hope for the best.
For me, it's that feeling of wanting to move on, while also never wanting to get over them....because that would mean that my love for them wasn't eternal. It would mean that my love has faded, even though I never believed it could. It feels as though my life now simply has to be comprised merely of loneliness and sorrow, only for me not to feel invalidated in my love that I've so desperately tried to hold on to. It's dread, brought on by happiness.
I know feelings can be temporary, especially if they're not fostered continually and that it's a good thing to see that I'm not completely stuck.
Yet, a part of me forever wants to stay stuck. Never letting go of the greatest feeling I've ever felt and letting it become a memory.
But it's not like I'm actually still feeling it. It's not like it's still the present. It's not as though it hasn't already become a memory. A painful one.
It's just so hard not to let it hurt me anymore. I'm addicted, in a sense.
I love her. I always will, I know that.
I just hope someday that love will keep my memories a warm and happy place instead of making my current state of mind clouded and dismal.
bro :((
It’s so surreal watching this video and then reading all these comments that feel like they speak directly to me, like they’re almost my own thoughts verbatim. I used to feel like I was so alone, and even though everyone goes through heartbreak, my love was somehow different or stronger, but watching this video and reading these comments is actually so cathartic cause I realize that I was just stupid, and this is something that so many people go through, and there are people who probably were closer to their partners or had been with them longer than I was to mine, and in a way it’s so humbling
this hurt my soul bro... I feel exactly like this.. knowing no matter what you do, things will never be the same.. she is now a ghost of the past.. a dead love long buried in the past.. a distant memory you can only re-collect as a thought, and nothing more.. a once happy time in life where you felt this unconditional love.. now your just picking up the pieces to something you promised to stay for through the thick and thin.. no matter the obstacle you both may face.. and even though she promised she would to.. the person left broken and empty inside after it all.. is yourself.. and thats because you wanted that love so bad.. the genuinety in the words you promised her.. while she breaks hers and leaves you in the dust.. that hurts... and what you read hurt my soul bro... praying for you and everyone missing someone they loved! 🙏🏻🙏🏻
This was literally words taken from my brain and put here. I want to move on obviously but it’s like you said you don’t want to bury the love you had and let go of that feeling of what made you whole and what made you actually smile when you got up in the morning. They’ve become apart of you and it almost becomes more like trying to bury apart of yourself which is like trying to rip out a piece of your heart
If anyone wants some advice that helped me when I was in this situation: take the love you would’ve shared with them, and share it with your friends and family. Spend more time with them, talk to them often, or hang out when you can. It helps spend that energy on something more beneficial and helpful
I love this way of dealing with it. I did something similar after spending a lot of time caring for someone who was unwell and self destructive. After I was finally able to move on from providing care for them all the time, I spent a lot of my love on reconnecting with my best friend and have been happier for it since. Spend your love on the people who want it and can reciprocate, even if they aren't your first choice.
But we were soulmates... We literally shared the same braincell.
@@iijay-galaxyii4606 I've literally done this. Once I was hurt that someone wasn't as active in a relationship as I needed and through that rejection I challenged it towards being grateful for those that were in my life.
we dated for 2 years, 5 years later i cant stop thinking about them. feels stupid
Hey, it happens. I've had the same happen to me. I guess we can take comfort in knowing it's a rather universal experience, even if we're too scared to let anyone know about it (besides through the anonimity of the internet).
It's not about "Getting over", it's about "moving on".
It's perhaps not a bad idea to simply accept this person will always have a spot in your mind, and live with that fact.
Maybe it helps to put it in perspective: Every single person you've ever interacted with has a spot in your mind; it just so happens this person has a particularily large spot. And that's OK, because they've had a large influence on who you are as a person, and part of your personality and life has been shaped exclusively by that person. That person is part of who you are, of course you're not just gonna forget them! Forgetting them is equal to forgetting part of yourself.
The same way one couldn't just "forget" about their mother or their father once they die, you can't just "forget" a person you've cared and felt so deeply for. And this is independent on how you feel about that person, wether you hate them or love them.
As life goes on and you meet more people and acquire more experiences, this person, statiscally speaking, will take less and less of your mind and your persona. Obviously this isn't linear; you WILL relapse, and it WILL seam like you're going nowhere, and maybe even backwards. But it's inevitable that as long as you keep your life moving, and you keep meeting people, and you develop your personality further, you will change. And that part of you who is still under the influence of that person, will be overshadowed by many other, newer people. Or maybe it will just have to adapt, and share the space with them.
The key is to move on. You have to keep living, you have to keep experiencing life, you have to keep meeting new people and having new experiences. You can't let yourself hang over the past constantly. That way, it will never diminish the pain you feel over it.
It obviously isn't easy, I know that. And it will feel worthless at first, and for a while afterwards. But the only thing you can do is to try, because sadly there isn't any other option. We just have to keep living, even if we're hurt. Pushing forwards, in this sense, will always be better than giving in.
It's funny I'm writing this because even though I actually do believe it's true, I'm suffering from the same myself. I'm telling you to do something that I can't bring myself to do. I'm a hypocrite.
But that doesn't make the last comment any less true. I may be weak, but that doesn't mean everyone else is weak too.
I won't give up. But I think it will be particularily hard for me to "move on".
Sorry for any spelling mistakes, english is not my first language.
@@cIoudbank Think of it this way, you’re capable of truly loving someone. Something that lacks in the world we live in. Be proud of that. I suffer the same with you brother.
Also, think about how you can be with other people for 2, 4, 8, 12 years and never feel as strongly about them as someone you dated far more briefly. Certain people, at certain times, due to certain factors (often beyond anyone's control) leave outsized impacts on our souls. I try--with varying degrees of success--to be grateful to have been impacted so deeply, despite the awesomeness of the pain.
I once dated a girl for like 50 days and it took like 2 to 3 years to sort of feel okay from that experience. Time required to overcome someone doesn't even matter for how long you've known thar person. So don't consider yourself stupid, cause it happens.
People who can't move on need to love themselves more, if that person you loved doesn't want you then they don't deserve you. Do not fall into despair, instead work on your self and keep putting yourself out there, the right person will come eventually who will love you for who you are.
For me it's about being honest about what I really felt, aswell as the other person.
No lies like "They never loved me"... because they did. And they proved it throughout those years. No lies like "I never liked them that much, I knew it wouldn't work out"... because I did love her, and I was so lost in that love that I couldn't think of a life withouth her.
If I do that, I allow myself to work with reality, not a scenario created to protect my ego. Accepting that she loved me like no one ever did, and yet still, I lost her, is one million times more crushing than telling myself she was a monster who never cared.
But... accepting that allows me to uphold the biggest achievement of my life, and that is: That I loved... And I was loved.
That I can say, regardless of how caotic it all was in the end.
You won't be reading this, I know. But if you were, I would want to thank you for allowing me to feel the most beautiful things I have ever felt in my life.
I do not want you back. We can not be together again. I accept it.
But I have kept you in the back of my mind for years, and there you will stay, mixed with the pain of what you did, and the gratitude for what you gave me.
So real.. Hope you and I will find better days and hopefully we can look back 5 years from now and smile knowing things are better
@@reflex3569 I'm sure we will both keep on working until that becomes true :)
But why couldn’t she at least tell me before she blocked me on everything. We both said we would talk again and she goes and does that. On every little platform. For what?
@@justinmorales9597 I'm sorry to hear that, mate. Maybe she is afraid of the pain of maintaning a contact, yet with the same feelings she had before, even thought things aren't the same.
@@justinmorales9597for me, she simply told me to stop texting her. when i said “I’m here when you’re ready to talk”, i was hit with a “i have nothing to say to you, please stop texting me”.
I love when Sisyphus, just out of nowhere, altruistically but savagely mauls my ego and shows me that my selfishness is the cause of my severely self inflicted pain from longing AND THEN makes me realize that I am not alone in experiencing this longing.
Genuinely such a vibe, he's crazy with it.
Man, you really got the point
Syphilis..?!?!
I love how it's okay to just say 'I don't know' and that there is no 'magic solution' or that it 'will just get better' . I love how Sisyphus doesn't make any promises to his viewers, just that life goes on and you learn how to deal. I hate the media's over romanticisation of suffering and making false promises of quick fixes and the light at the end of the tunnel.
Know that you are living now, not tomorrow, so it's better to live through the reality of pain and choose yourself than have false hope that eventually diminishes later in life.
It surprises me seeing all the comments remarking the timing of this video, I wanted to say he same.
Now I feel connected to all of you strangers, it feels good hahaha
sure does right
iIt was my 25th birthday yesterday. I had some friends over and spent a good time with them, but after my friends left, I ended up cleaning all the dishes and watching your video alone at night.
Maybe this is the ultimate experience of adulthood: accepting that everything shall pass, like a suffocating mantra. Or perhaps we fall in love with people who don’t love us back because it is easier to endure pain than to pursue real intimacy and the idea of leaving behind fleeting happiness for a more mature and responsible joy.
Thank you for the video. Writing this after watching it felt like the most honest thing I could do now.
happy belated birthday dude! im 19 right now and the phrase "everything shall pass" has been very prevalent. it can mean bad things can pass and that's desirable but it also means good things can pass which can be harder to deal with... i have no idea how to find someone who loves me back and i just got incredibly devastated by a 23 year old guy who ghosted me.. it's like i really liked it in the moment but after that dealing with the broken pieces was much harder... thanks for your comment
just focus on yourself and get better in every aspect of your life, if you dont know where to start i'd recommend you finding unveiling your hidden potential by bruce thornwood
@@kengenhanma where should I get that please?
it's weirdly heartwarming to see all the comments about this being this video being in "perfect timing", really shows how we're all not alone or special; i think in the end we're all just creatures of love and loss, learning how to live without the sun, trying to believe we'll one day find the moon.
It feels so silly having unreciprocated feelings , utterly embarrassing and makes me feel shameful. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense, however time heals what sense can’t and the sky will still be blue no matter what
True love never leaves entirely, but it does get easier. Remember, love is not always shared.
@@hardcoreherbivore4730 damn I felt that. Thank you for writing this!
I think "wisdom" is the solution here. You need to be wise enough to understand what happened has happened, and you're better off continuing your journey than staying there or worse looking back.
Wise enough to know life goes on.
@@nabieladrian hey thank you for your comment, i can see a bitter but truth good point from what you've said. Thanks, that hit me hard. I think yeah we should have a wisdom at least eventhough hard to accept it. Eventually.
When we parted ways, I hoped time would heal everything, because everyone tells you the same. It didn't, what was once a continuous stabbing pain is now a blunt aching. The stabbing pain returns at moments when I least expect it, fortunately it doesn't stay forever like it did before. The blunt aching, however, remains. It's like my brain over time has forgotten the little details that hurt me, but the pain still remains. Leading to this continuous and inexplicable sadness. I just wish this pain stops, that somehow I get over the person. She's truly been in my head for far far more long than she's ever been in my life. I still love her, I wish I didn't.
Thank you Sisyphus, you make me realize and accept the flaws in me, in my life, that I know exist but I turn to denial and delusion.
Thank you for sharing that, I relate on a deep level and it made me feel a little less alone.
Man, I'm not sure if I've ever read a comment that I can so closely relate to. It's hard to describe this to almost anyone I've encountered. Some think I'm pathetic, some think I'm insane. The hard part for me is that even if it somehow would workout again in the future as unlikely as it may seem in your head, would things be the same as it was, or would you both have changed so much that it wouldn't, and you're stuck reliving, romanticizing the remenents of a unity of two former selves. A certain saying comes to mind- "Man cannot step into the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man." You're not alone, my friend.
"Despite all of the lights turning on and the audience leaving, you stay in your seat and insist that the movie isnt over"
“You’re still here?? It’s OVER. Go home…” - Ferris Bueller
I spoke with them on the phone for an hour last night and finally realized you really need to let people go not everyone will make you feel the same but also not everyone values you the same love yourselves in every aspect you can Ty for the video
i also broke up with my girlfriend last night, our relationship was healthy but still i’m here just to say i believe in you ❤
To everyone suffering know this, you’re not alone.
We will get through this pain eventually and everything in this world is temporary like our very own existence.
So take a step back and focus on yourself.
When you're the kind of person that navigates in deep waters, those that you allow to become navigational beacons don't just disappear from the horizon because a relationship ended. You keep passing them by, sometimes you even honk your foghorn, and when nothing comes back, you're reminded that your sense of direction is forever broken. You end up sailing on a sea of phantoms and abandoned lighthouses.
Bro hit us with a snowstorm and took our blankies
I don’t know how this happened. But the first video you made on the nature of love showed up on my feed a few days after meeting my girlfriend years ago. Now this one shows up 3 days after she became my ex.
You'll find a better one my guy, she belonged to the street anyway
@@michaelnelson4833 I'm sorry homie, I hope you're holding up. Have a virtual hug
@@DS-bz4mzNah she deserves the best, the best is just not with me.
@@redcrown5070 I'm sure you had good intentions with this but I think we should be more respectful and forgiving
It's the weirdest sensation ever! The same exact thing happened to me 🙂. Only difference is the time
It's been hard accepting that I will always be reminded of her, no matter how much I've wanted to forget and move on. But what's been even harder is finding anyone that compares when I heard melodies in her words and saw galaxies in her eyes. Let alone trusting someone that much again without taking a lot of time to let these walls down again.
More than 80% of these broken friendships and relationships are not repaired solely due to ego, not because they’ve hit an impossibly thick incompatibility wall. That is what is sad in our human condition.
That is an issue in and of itself. Ego is hard to control.
This video beautifully expresses what I'm currently going through
It somehow makes me feel like I'm not the only one out there who's facing this, and that we're all struggling through this in similar ways, in hopes for a happier future
The problem with "this" type of emotional love is that it has nothing to do with love.
It's all about control, expectations, and then making you feel a certain way to cover up some underlying darkness that already existed in you.
You only experience this type of heartbreak when you make someone more important than yourself, and they literally become your god. The fact we "risk it all" for them says exactly that.
The most beautiful part is when it's over and having to deal with all those feelings you get to see how wrong you were for all it.
Real love is helping them pack their bags and wishing them well in the next phase of their lives. Look how far we fall from this at the end of these types of relationships.
I absolutely agree with you!
The pain the negativity all the things I experience right now those were things that were within me the whole time. It was not fair to abandon my healing, myself... and put the whole weight and responsibility on somebody else than me. I was running away from myself, and now I just have to take care of what I left there unresolved.
The way this guy describes these concepts is really poetic, and it hits you in moments you didn't expect. "I'm really just crawling in the dark here. Towards those lights at the end of the tunnel, hoping they aren't oncoming trains". Like damn
your timing is offensively impeccable
Love is not selfish. If you love someone the last thing you want them to do is stay with you if they aren't happy in the relationship. You can morn the loss of the closeness, but that shouldn't last long because you know the person you love is moving towards happiness and wants you to do the same.
They aren't dead- you can still have a relationship with them after a time (couple of years I find is best) - it will just be a different kind. Some of my best friends are exes and I never stop loving them and I'm thrilled when they are happy.
The horrible awful feeling of a breakup, if you're honest with yourself, is entirely about YOU, not them. What you think it says about you, what you think you can and can't do without them, if you feel that the best thing to do is figure out what those things are and find the power to be great and do great and usually you will find it doesn't say any of the things about you you think it does. Or sometimes you need to change something.
Going through a break up right now, I'm just looking forward to the day where I wake up and go about my business without them even crossing my mind. Then you no longer think about the time you shared negatively but see it as a part of what it took for you to grow as a person.
@@muka5095 Same :(
Thank you. Just the right timing for this video.
I thought it's just a phase, and it will be gone like *poof* gone, but it's still goin on.
oyasami pun pun is awesome
This weekend i cried a river after watching the before sunrise trilogy, i even wrotte a letter to my ex, just to say ti much i miss him and hope him good, its been a year and i felt im not moving on, but thata not true, i did moved on, i keep making my life, and its okay to be overwhelmed with nostalgia and cute memories from time to time, to everyone who's heart is broken, just keep going, keep loving, and its okey to never forget, good memories are there to be remembered :)
It is not okey to never forget, illness should be cured.
If I could, I would completely delete all memories about ex, they are useless and painful.
Well, sometimes it feels good, remembering all the cute nice stuff, but this times I feel that dangerous creature hiding behind all that, desperate incapability of getting all back, deep diving in this is too scary.
And happiness becomes not full, even when you are doing alright, there is always this 1 second of remembering that life could be even better with ex.
So the only thing left to do is making this "even better" as small as possible by becoming more and more happy, like another person level of happiness, that level, where it is hard to imagine of you in this condition being with ex, because you are different, you are better, and all that love, previously coming to her, now staying with you, because you love yourself so much, that no love left for ex.
Maybe it is like pyramid, then you find another one, creating more love space or idk, than forgetting her by the same thin.
Is anyone here with multiple ex girlfriends ? I mean real ones, 2 year + relations. What is your remedy and how it works on you?
Ahhh yeah I watched those movies over & over & over again, yes 3 times over a span of years, I loved them especially the first one Before Sunrise; Julie Delpy great acting & all her dialogue in the 3 movies & not a word wasted IMO. I agree with *everything* in your comment.
I like that this highlights the struggle of overcoming, since it at least points to if not includes the fact that this usually isn't a lesson you only learn once. It's almost one you have to relearn everytime you stumble. Accepting yourself is going to be something you have to continually relearn how to do as you change and make different mistakes, and while it's painful it is usually very introspective, like to be left to only yourself helps you rediscover and connect with that person, who you are, more deeply. Great video as always
the timing of this video is scary. ive liked him for 2 years now and my bpd makes it worse. but over time, ive come to realise i dont even like him. ive slowly come to think why i even like him this much, and its because hes confident and smart and im not. ive used this knowledge to better and improve myself and look at him as an inspiration rather than an idol who im obsessed with.
@@mansiyy bpd? big peach disorder?
Somewhat relatable 😢
I have BPD too it's hell.
I dislike how "dont be sad it's over, be happy it happened" is such a good piece of advice but also so corny that it's hard to take seriously
I agree alot with this, and i also hate when this type of opinion is called ego
Sometimes I try to practice gratitude at experiencing grief, as I could not miss so dearly if I never had something worth holding on to in the first place. The past never disappears, it's only ever transformed.
wow. how can someone that I don't know can describe what I'm feeling in such a simple yet accurate way. amazing video.
@@liorgurevitz7782 is it something you would like to experience? do you have a longing for it? have you ever had a crush on someone?
Today I was stood up and this video is a big help for me. It feels better knowing I’m not the only one experiencing these feelings. It’s hard to push on and I’m still working on it. It’s hard to look the other way, but I think the more you practice something the better you get at it. So feeling down can be expected, but you shouldn’t hold onto whatever it is for too long. Live your life and have fun, whoever comes along for the ride is someone you should be thankful for and appreciate.
Don't settle, the person you try to settle with will eventually know that you use to love, need to love, someone like this again, and that they can't get to this level. It kills the relationship, but it takes you months to realize.
This was beautiful. Your example of me being in the movie theatre when the lights turn on, and I insist the movie isn’t over, is exactly what I’m doing. I’m still in the bargaining phase of my breakup, and it’s time for me to accept and let go. You’re damn right, you beautiful, amazing TH-cam poet, it’s time to love myself and be the best me, I can be.
Thank you, I’ve gone through the thoughts that you mentioned “they made the wrong choice” and “if only I did this or that, even if things weren’t different at least this would be embarrassing.” You took the words right out of my mouth somehow. Thank you for letting me know im not alone.
I have never related to a video quite like this one, I think this is the final push I really needed to grow up and live on. Thank you.
your metaphors are written beautifully. they are interwoven with thoughtful references that make my mind chuckle with curiosity. thank you for the video.
It’s been fascinating watching your emotional growth throughout your videos Sisyphus. I think it’s a great gift from the universe that we can be humbled by reality at any age, at any time, in response to any action.
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
YES! You can get over someone you loved, it’s not easy but time, and just living your life and trying to focus on being the best you can be in your circumstances. I was suicidal after my last break up, 2 years of therapy, retraining to a better paid career with better prospects, and focusing on being great parent helped me.
just went out after a few months of hibernating... had a wild experience. came home feeling a way & put on youtube & this was my first recommended... been through a lot. missing someone 2nite. love u soul family ❤
mood
4.7.2024 was the last time I saw her. She stopped by to drop by some of my belongings, some of which she had held onto for years. I threw the box in my storage unit and I haven’t looked at it since. At the time, I was destroyed. I was dead inside. I tried to pretend like I was okay but she could see right through it, I could tell. I would’ve done anything to be able to kiss her one last time. That was one of the hardest interactions I’ve ever had in my life.
Then, I was a zombie. But now, I would genuinely be happy if I never saw her face again. It’s funny how time changes your emotions. After the heartache has passed, after all the sleepless nights, after all mornings spent praying to God she’d come back comes a moment of realization; I don’t need her and I never did. After you get comfortable with this realization, a new one creeps into your mind; I don’t *want* her.
One day, you’ll fall in love again, and find yourself reflecting on the past and telling yourself “that was worth all the pain” whenever you look into their eyes. You’ll never have them again, not like how it was. But you will find that with another person.
Be patient, it just takes time.
Amen
thank u for it
Damn it. Thank you and bless you. I needed that.
Why is it lasting myself longer than yours? I don't think it should...
Remember that "failure" always teaches better than success. When you love again, you'll know when and how to give your love better next yime.
that blissfully unaware innocent obsessive love to the drop down of reality was truly the best way anyone has visualized and described what I have gone through and I'm thankful I'm not alone here.
could not have come at a more vulnerable time. 5 years and 4 spent living together
needed this. at least now i know that whatever i'm feeling rn, is not something abnormal. at least now, i can tell myself-"it's okay to feel like that, this is a phase, and it's the best for me."
yep, i'm at the bottom, but there are people, good people- who will love me/already loves me just the way i want to be loved. can't overlook them, can i?
Thx a lot bro! As a 14 year old i recently went through this really devastating heartbreak. Some might say it wasn’t real and was lust, or that I’m young and impulsive. But, i really think it was love, every day and night thinking about her. This video really encaptured how i felt, and helped me overcome questions and obstacles i asked myself everyday. Thanks a lot for this video man.
It is like the universe knows i am trying to get over my feelings and constantly reminds me of it
This was very comforting to hear. I also feel comforted seeing everyone else's comments. I've reached that phase that I accept what happens and don't force things.
I used to hold on too tightly to the ones I loved. It always took me long to let go. It seemed like I would lose sense of myself when someone I deeply cared about decided to silently yeet themselves from my life. I would grieve the loss of closeness, the could've beens. I kept wondering why they left without saying a word, either upset with myself or them. It was an exhausting cycle.
Perhaps, it gets easier as we get older and establish our identity more. We become more understanding and compassionate. There are boundaries we shouldn't cross. Partings really happen so we treasure the present more. We are open to reconnect if there's an opportunity, but life goes on even if what's left with us are just memories.
The timing of that video is just...
I woke up today in tears, after yet another dream of her. It's been 4 months since our breakup. My first real relationship, lasting three of my 20 years of life
This video is literally the first video ever that I've felt was speaking right to me and telling me everything i need to hear. wow.
There was this girl i dated for 6 months but after the third month i was just drained but i stayed because i wanted her to leave me. I didnt have the balls to tell her how i actually feel about our relationship and leave her, i wouldnt be able to handle the guilt. I want to stay and give her hugs, for the first three months i loved her genuinely but my impatience led me here. She told me she felt empty at the 6th month, ten days after my birthday. I gave her time to think and i offered to help her if she needed, but she came to the conclusion that just splitting would be better. I am alone, I am manipulative, I am a control freak, I'm glad she left me so she can find a better man. But constantly thinking for her and about her, i completely forgot to think about myself, what will i do now? i guess im just back to existing, a side character. And to be honest, finding a new girlfriend still feels like im cheating, like im unfaithful so i guess i havent actually moved on from her, not yet
This is so eerie how timely this is.
you timed this so well
same here
I really needed to see this, thank you so very much my friend. By the end of the video I was in tears. Thank you for telling me the truth. I needed to hear it, even if it was the truth told to me by a complete stranger. Thank you.
Yes, you can. It just might take a lot longer than you think.
I am about to turn 30, it took me almost until now to get over my first girlfriend I met when I was 20, but I rarely ever think about her anymore and when I do it doesn't hurt anymore.
Finding out years later that she got over me in about 5 minutes definitely sped up the process, its hard to keep caring about someone who replaced you like a used tire.
A wise man once said "birches ain't shit"
When you reach the level of the love that is overwhelming you, genuined, unlimited, cosmic - believe in it. Against ALL odds.
Despite people around, voices in your head and self-doubts.
After all, the choice is always yours.
And I've made mine.
I've never felt stronger than for my lost rose.
bro posted it at the perfect time thank you unc
I also liked the imagery of the theatre. That was so good. It’s the perfect description of holding on to the “what if”… even though it’s obviously done. I used to be passive on the idea of love. I didn’t really care much about it like some people. I mean romantic relationships. I was content with reading novelas and my “book boyfriends” as others call it. It’s like vicariously feeling the life of the character without having to actually experience it. Safe and you know, a good ending. But God was really cooking up something with that last person he placed along the way. In a nutshell, I believe we meet people that makes us see things about ourselves that we wouldn’t have been able to without being with them. And a word to those that are hurting from a person right now, scripture says “do not lean into your own understanding, but trust the LORD and he will direct your path.” - what might be something painful right now for you, is saving you from an even deeper hurt 3 month/3years down the line. We never really know everything. So, let’s all mourn for our emotions but pick ourselves back up! 🫂🫂🫂
These videos really do always come out at the perfect time don't they
Thank you for this, sisyphus.
When you go from being so close to another human it feels like you share a heart to being alone the pain is inevitable and intense.
At some moment i realized that the pain i feel is a testament to how much i cared. This sanctified the pain and instead of hurting me, it cleansed me.
What are we, if not the sum of the care and affection we give to the world?
Secondly, whether we ended up together someday or were never to meet again, I optimistically think we will be happy. Or, better put, whether together or apart, our happiness is a responsibility of each one of us.
Those helped me a lot, but emotions still run wild at a flash of memory.
It was a deeply intriguing and rich experience, falling in love for the first time as an adult. I used to be embarrassed about it, now I wouldn't have changed a thing.
i’m not even villainizing her she is genuinely a horrible person who did me so horribly wrong
Struggled with this exact topic and have felt everything said in this video. The best advice I can give is that your own lovability is not from that one person but from yourself. Don’t close yourself off from being happy again. Much love ❤️
0:17 a license plate with her name lol
"These are scars that shape us" - definitely. Every lost love has taught me so much about life and myself. I learned something everytime and I'm happy to be finally able to see it this way without downplaying the suffering and the heartbreak I experienced. ❤
I haven't felt like I was victimized or they made the wrong decision. Honestly, they probably did the right thing. I do believe i could have been much better, made a lot of mistakes out of selfishness, narcissism, and ignorance. They did the best they could. I truly believe that cuz i know em. I wish i was better, more aware of my harmful patterns. Something I am still learning from.
We cant really know anything, now or of the future. We dont know how things will change, all I can do is be true to how I feel in that moment, and make the best of it. But I do believe that if you dont feel like you could do anything for someone you love, after dating them for a while, and are still haunted by your past loves, it is better to let em go. Cuz everyone deserves selfless love and devotion. The "True Love" feeling is important i feel. Not obsessive love, but a deeper one of understanding, acceptance and devotion.
Thank you I needed this. I was having a bad trip missing her but it’s nice to find relatable vids that pin point exactly how I feel. I need a hug
I have a few ones that got away. In the time since I've come to understand my drive to return to them is a schema I've given the fond title "my heart". It's tricky to come to terms with this because all of the emotional weight of having a heart is tied up with the existence of these schemas, they're all using my real heart like someone would use a human shield or kidnap someone for ransom. The way forward is an unconditional love of the past, all of its trappings, truly accepting and embracing the past for what the past is. We're stuck with this past our whole lives, there isn't a single way to change it. The more we love the past the more prepared for the future we'll be, and because of that I have no regrets. I wouldn't change a thing. Couldn't. I love it too much.
Why is the timing and accuracy of this video so spot on with everything I’ve been going through and feeling lately. GET OUT OF MY HEAD SISYPHUS!!! (maybe we’re all just the same)
Really needed this right now, thank you
I wish I had this video back in October, it took me a long time to heal properly and I got into another relationship still wounded, and I felt guilt for that and it led to issues but through all of this I have found the one for me, no matter how broken I was she still held me even if she hurt herself in the process, no matter what she would care for me and while I was in the midst of devastation of “loosing my lover” I found out that true love was so much more, after all of my healing I am the happiest I’ve ever been, for those out there going through heart break and regret just know there is someone out there waiting to find you in their arms, you can’t let a failed relationship get in the way of that, learn and improve yourself so when you find that person you can make them as happy as they make you
"I can't go on. I'll go on"~Samuel Beckett
truly a work of art. i'm moved so strongly by this.
Honestly i wish i had this fairytale heart break he describes, this perfect little contained break up where they love you and still care for you but must go on, everyone just wanting the best in the end for a happily ever after, a life goes on ending, but that's not what i got, in all my chances for love i was the fuck up, no one to blame but myself, sure she had problems, but it could've been saved, i could've been saved, these past years could've been the best of my life, i could've been happy right now, but no, because of my idiotic miss calculations, pathetic expectations, a lack of ability to be better until it was too late, hindsight's 20/20 i know, but its my fault, i should've known, and this isn't a question of "how could you have known" i dont get to give myself such grace cuz i should've been better, the hints were there, 2nd chances, triple chances, i was given so many chances to fix myself, and now this is where i get to live, this is what i get, and the pitchers ran out, this is the life i get
@@fobo3361 i don't know if it would help to tell you not to be so hard on yourself, but you can't particularly stop the spiral of thoughts. I hope you're doing better now. all i can think about is All the things I could've done correctly.
The truth is, you would've never seen things clearly till things unfolded the way they did, no matter how many scenarios you create in your head. I wonder if i have it in myself to be a better person now, in their complete absence.. i wonder if i have enough love to change myself and move ahead.. I want to be loved so desperately, all that love i want to give is melting into grief, i want to have an anchor, a home, a compass- but that's too unfair. People aren't all of those things.. they're people.. you're a person too as flawed as you were and will continue to be. You'll be alright, you'll get better.
Glad to hear that everyone here is heartbroken. Wish you all the best guys.
what a timing...
@@khankakhanka8266 right?!
Great timing. She has been a recurrent character of my dreams for the last month. Simply appearing in a scene, taking a seat, and sharing our thoughts and interests, or maybe enjoying a cup of tea like we used to. Met her 6 years ago, she was my first love, first kiss, first everything... broke up with me on january. Honestly the relationship wasn't very smooth at times but I always looked for ways to try to make her happy and help her with her family issues (though the last few months we found it hard to see one another due to college and distance).
Idk, I´m still numb about it all. Even though she´s not in my life anymore she's more present than ever.
I can't imagine myself in ur place, for me both fof us are on the verge of breaking up, he actually said he's done yesterday but after i begged him not to he said he's staying. I cant imagine my life without him he always felt so right and still feel right i need help
I'm sorry to hear that. I don't know what kinds of problems you two have had. I can only tell you to try to find an open and sincere dialogue in regards to how you two feel about one another, from that point onwards try to work as a team, it's the two of you facing those problems. Apart from that there isn't much more, just remember to be kind and forgiving (but don't be a pushover).
In regards to my situation, I've pretty much decided to continue caring for her well being. I desire nothing more than happiness for her, whether with me or without me.
I agree with all of this except one thing: That person who moved on? They didnt care about you or your feelings. Thats a lie people tell themselves to avoid feeling bitter. The truth is that person didnt care what happened to you or how you felt, they cared about how they felt, which obviously isnt the same as it once was which is why they moved on.
you are a blessing my friend. you say out loud what i refuse to accept deep down even if i know it.
Yeah, I've been going through this repeatedly over the last year or so. Lot of shake ups in my social circles and people I thought would be there with me that aren't anymore. I think of them almost daily even still, but each day I've generally managed to let go of some of the frustration and sadness, and tried to hold on to what was good and what I learned from them. Even if we never share words again, they contributed to my growth as a person, and I will always be grateful for that.
the feeling is so draining sometimes but i find comfort in accepting that it just wasn’t meant to be and ultimately, it will probably be better for me.
went through a breakup almost a year ago, i still struggle with getting him off my mind everyday. the loneliness is getting easier to manage. im trying to focus on myself more rather than him
You're a girl, just get another man