How to Get Unstuck: Do This to Create the Future You Want
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ต.ค. 2024
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Today’s episode is a roadmap for reaching your potential.
If you are feeling stuck in a rut, behind in life, or just a little bored by your life, this episode is for you.
There are a few simple steps you can take to quickly get unstuck - and it’s easier than you think.
Dr. Adam Alter, one of the top psychology experts and professors in the world, is joining Mel on the podcast today to help you uncover the extraordinary potential that is laying dormant inside of you.
Dr. Alter is a New York Times bestselling author, a renowned researcher, and a professor at NYU’s Stern School of Business.
Whether you’re trying to level up an already successful life, have a breakthrough on a creative project, or you need a reset in every aspect of your life, you’ll love the 3 steps that Dr. Alter is sharing with you today.
Dr. Adam Alter’s website: adamalterauthor.com
For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-191
Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: / themelrobbinspodcast
I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode.
00:00:00: Introduction
00:03:28: Why it’s normal to feel “stuck” in your life.
00:06:38: What does it mean when people feel stuck?
00:10:30: Do THIS to get out of your own way to get unstuck.
00:16:51: The best thing you can do to make your life better.
00:18:51: When you hit difficulties in life, this is your instinct.
00:20:00: These are the ages when people tend to think deeper.
00:23:20: How to approach these difficult ages where we overthink.
00:25:00: How to create more meaning when struggling with the meaning of life.
00:28:13: Goals you can set to help yourself through difficult times.
00:31:26: The connection between feeling stuck is like feeling lost.
00:33:50: Why is it so critical to have something that we are working on in our life?
00:35:22: How to deal with feeling stuck when everyone around you is trying to help.
00:38:30: The best advice for someone to go for it after going through a hard time.
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there's a book called whispers of manifestation on borlest , and it talks about how using some secret tehniques you can attract almost everything in life it's not some bullshit law of attraction, it's the real deal
The breakdown:
1. Intentional Pause: Take deliberate breaks, like sitting by running water in a forest, to rejuvenate your mind and body. Even a five-minute pause can be restorative.
2. Engage with Nature: Find a patch of nature or incorporate natural elements into your surroundings. Small plants or a water fountain at home can provide similar benefits if you can't access a forest.
3. Daily Practice: Spend a few minutes daily absorbing your natural environment, no matter how small. This practice counters the energy drain of modern life.
4. Impact of Colors: Colors influence mood and behavior. Blues and greens are calming, while red can make you feel strong and dominant. Use this knowledge to create supportive environments.
5. Mirrors and Self-Reflection: Mirrors make you more introspective and thoughtful, helping deter bad habits by forcing you to confront your actions.
6. Time Dilation through Engagement: Activities that stretch time, like being in nature or having meaningful conversations, help you feel more connected and less rushed.
7. Physical Activity: Movement can reset your sense of time and provide a break from a sedentary, screen-focused lifestyle, enhancing well-being.
8. Clutter-Free Environment: Reduce workspace clutter to enhance focus and creativity. A clear environment reduces distractions and improves productivity.
9. Screen Time Boundaries: Set specific times daily to disconnect from screens, reclaiming time and improving mental health. An hour without screens can be very beneficial.
10. Recognize and Replace Habits: Identify unfulfilling habits like mindless scrolling and replace them with enriching activities to develop healthier habits and improve your quality of life.
Thank you so much
Thank you for taking the time to break it down😍
You are my friend! Thanks for summarizing
Youre a lifesaver! Thank you!
SO HELPFUL! Thank you 🫶🏻
Oh yeah, 40 minutes into this! Set the bar low and just start. That is the key to progress. Let go of ego and BEGIN.
Being a perfectionist, I have a hard time starting because of my fear of not doing it perfectly! This was great motivation to start it "badly"...just a brilliant idea 💡 👏
Agree loved his book
Awesome info! 72-year-old grandma and have been stuck off and on throughout life. Big Takeaway is to experiment with what you like to do Experimenting with different ideas and taking the pressure off. Really appreciate this podcast at this time in my life. Thank you.
Ugh thank you so much for your perspective I'm just 19 but I completely agree💖
I liked what he said at the very end, that you're either exploring your options, or focusing on one idea, but you can't do both at once. Oh. I'm doing both at once, and flailing.. Aha.
Flailing or failing😂i am doing both!
I feel I’m flailing in water most days & anytime soon I’ll drown 😢
@@darnitthelma4247You won’t, my friend, you have the sense to listen to an hour long podcast!!
I'm right there with you flailing & failing lol.
@@krissi42085 🩷
I noticed that twice your guest looked directly at the audience and gave the very important information. I’ll probably rewatch this podcast with a piece of paper to write the info down. I love these podcasts. Thank you, Mel!!
Absolutely! Embracing challenges and going all in is key to success. When you take control and actively work towards your goals, you're essentially creating your own future.
I've listened to many of Mel's podcast episodes, but this is by far the one that spoke directly to me. I just told a friend the other day that I felt stuck. And the idea of friction points that we steer away from is spot on for me. Excellent stuff.
I’m money stuck. I hate making money just to pay rent, buy groceries, pay bills and be broke again.
Focus on elevating negatives rather than adding up positives, mannnn it hits the right spot 👌🏼
Thank you so much Mel! I’ve been wrestling leaving my job for years & have been quietly unhappy. I resigned the other day because I can’t live like this anymore, found your videos and they’re speaking to exactly how I feel. I know I’ve got so much untapped creative talent. I need to focus on that now & see where it takes me. It is both scary and energising.
Feeling financially stuck in a toxic marriage, gonna try these tips to help myself get out. Thank u
I’m not alone atleast
Try therapy 🤷♂️
I'm going to listen to this a few times. I've been feeling stuck for years!
Thank you Mel! I ❤ this podcast I feel sooo stuck it’s even harder when you are the only income! I am mainly stuck when it comes to my career I am not happy in it at all but I have to be grateful to have one.
Love you, mel robbins, and your respectful team and special guests ❤️ ❤️ ♥️
Omg! I’m in this situation exact situation- where I started a new job with a higher salary - I was very excited and still am but I’m feeling stuck and drained. It was good to hear that people can feel stuck even with good changes.
It’s happened to me.
And it feels like pretty much every time, but life-quakes also sometimes travel in packs… so who knows what actually happened way back when.
Hang in there, you can figure it out!
Mel thanks for doing these podcasts today l was going thru alot but aftr watching this l feel unstuck and postive to change mylife for the bttr .Thank you.
MEL, YOU’RE THE BEST!! 💗
Thank you so much for all your amazing content! 🫶🏼
I’ve been listening/watching your podcast since it first started.
You’re so relatable and ALWAYS give the best advice. The way you speak to us (your listener’s) with such honesty and care, it sounds like it’s coming from your best friend. ❤
Thanks Mel!! I appreciate you so much!
🫶🏼
You’re words keep me going, I been through rough times 😢
I've felt stuck for most of my life, mostly re: career. I wanted to be a commercial pilot but couldn't due to hearing loss. I "fell into" a legal assistant career. I didn't really enjoy most aspects of it. In 2017, at the age of 58, I visited London & wanted to live there permanently. The only way to move there permanently was to change my career. I enrolled in a digital animation course in London. I was thrilled to finally have a sense of direction & no longer felt stuck. The Nov. 2019 intake was delayed due to low enrollment, so they put me in the June 2020 intake. COVID happened, the course was cancelled & I moved back to America. (They no longer offer the course.) I've been stuck ever since. I'm almost 66 years old. I don't want to go back into the legal field. It's soul draining. I don't have a car; can't afford one, so I've been looking for remote work, but it's been tough.
You could try to learn a skill you like, on the internet, it's possible to learn almost any skill from the internet. Even high value skills, if you find a remote job you're interested in, you can learn the skill online and apply.
Digital animation is definitely one you can learn online even on youtube. With AI (e.g. Sora from Open AI, for creating short videos) its even easier to create or learn about things and putting it out there with social media is easier than ever. Or you can even sell short animations, which could be used by companies or so, on digital platforms.
I hope I could provide a little bit of a different perspective. If you have something you want to learn and don't know how to start you can get back to me I would be happy to help, or ask ChatGPT or google. Hope you have a great day!
@@Isabella-h3c Thanks for the reply. Since posting that, I've decided to move to London. Thus, any future career will need to be something I can do remotely on my own time, working for a US employer. I won't be eligible for UK residency for 5 years & won't be able to work for a UK employer until that time. Any suggestions?
thankyou for this, currently I am stuck in life , with things and I really needed this
Wow! What a wonderful episode, Mel! Dr Alter is great but this was so wonderful because you knew exactly what and how to ask so that we could get the most of his information! Thank you, thank you THANK YOU! 🙏🏻 ❤
I listened to the podcast but wanted to leave a comment.
This is so good and insightful.
My biggest takeaway is that we should not stay in our feelings. But instead take small steps towards the life we want.
Thanks for posting such an informative video that I now feel like I’m understanding this “Stuck” feeling much better now! Once again Mel, I greatly appreciate you & literally feel like we’re friends sitting down having a chat every single video you post! You should feel incredibly proud & special for being the only chick that helps happiness and clarity to all so many…❤💯
It's hard to create your future nowadays, especially when everything is so unobtainable nobody can pay bills anymore. Will never reach your full potential because the system has us locked in for life in this cycle of crap.
I respectfully disagree. Change your mindset. We live in a time where opportunity is literally a click away on your computer. The marketplace is the world, not just your local town or city. 😊
Please don't get swept away in discouragement!❤ The news, social media,ect. likes to feed into how bad it is to get views. Not denying...we are in challenging times, BUT during these times it's the perfect time to "think outside the box" and be creative in ways to go after those goals. Write down those goals...they're important to you! Next column write what would be the traditional way of getting there...THEN in third column think creatively no matter how crazy it may sound ways to go after those goals...don't dismiss any ideas...just write them down. Then review those new ideas and put a step by step plan of using ANY of those creative ways to do them.
My example...paying for college. Everyone around me said only way to pay was student loans. I applied and couldn't get approved (the rules at the time had to be 24 or married). I didn't want to wait till I was 24, so I came up with a way to pay: One semester 3 classes work part time, next semester no classes work full time. My living arrangements were crazy...roommates, share apartment with friend, stayed with my grandfather,ect. But it worked...got my bachelor's with NO student loan debt.😊
😊some people can be on the marketplace for health reason... it add a layer of difficulty in changing things. Not saying it’s not possible. It is, but you need to be resilient and mentally strong.
yea unless we wanna live out of our car lol
Not gonna lie I don't understand these comments. I don't know what the marketplace means.
This podcast is gold. Learned a lot Thank you!
Love these tips. They have been helping me keep my sanity through lots of life changes.
First time through. This is insanely spot on.
Love these episodes! Thank you for the time to put them out there!!!
Wow this was exactly what I needed. Thank you
The comments given on this discussion are also very educative.
Mel I listened to this twice! Awesome podcast and I will be saving and sharing to my husband. Thank you for this information ❤
Mel asked a great question about the pride of not wanting others to be right. I really wish he would’ve answered that question.
Watching from Panama. My husband and I moved here from Arizona over 2 years ago. I still have issues with my life, and I feel stuck sometimes, but I live in a place I truly love. The temps are 52 to 82 year round. If the weather is something you don't like, you can change that. Getting his book on Audible. Thanks again Mel
Dr alter speaking off Smoothing put the rough places reminds me of this scripture... Isaiah 40:4-5 New King James Version (NKJV)
Every valley shall be exalted And every mountain and hill brought low; The crooked places shall be made straight And the rough places smooth; The glory of the LORD shall be revealed, And all flesh shall see it together; For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.”
Yes. Can and do get stuff done. I am tackling further education and I am taking more classes. Taking steps towards the life I desire. Something I am struggling with is letting go of unhealthy relationships. That is a tough one for me. I maneuver around the relationship like it is my fork in the road. It is exhausting, but I will not put my progress on hold.
This was excellent thank you 😊
Thanks MeL. purchased his book to support you and thanks Dr.
Good morning Mel, I needed to hear from you, thank you so much, I love you ❤
Very helpful and actionable advice and analysis .Thank you both.
Thank you so much, Mel.
FANTASTIC information!! Thank you! 💖
Thank you so much!! I needed this ❤❤❤
What a great, motivating & validating episode!
That was an amazing therapy session. Thank you Mel for this wonderful podcast.
I’m currently working on a research project aimed at helping women who feel lost and stuck in life to clarify their goals, gain confidence, and take charge of their lives.
If any of you are interested in participating in a free interview, your insights would be invaluable in shaping a program that truly empowers women.
Just reply to this comment if you’re interested, and we can schedule a time that works for you!
Looking forward to connecting!
I really enjoyed you and Adam. Thanks
I needed this thank you Mel ❤
The only way out is through.
I really needed this.
GREAT discussion, i got a Lot of inspiration to follow up on Dr Alters' teachings.
Which book of his' is relevant to this podcast please ?
The Anatomy of a Breakthrough
@@KristelKayser Thanks heaps, i will get the book forsure.
LOVE YA MEL
Awesome information that I really needed!
Love all of your videos and the guests
Wow! I just wanted to take a moment to say how much I loved this video. The insights and the comments were all packed with gems! I can’t express enough how much value I’ve gained from this content.
A couple of years ago, I battled with feeling lost, stuck, and trapped, but eventually, I found my way out. In that process, I became passionate about helping women who are going through similar struggles.
I’m currently working on a research project aimed at helping women who feel lost and stuck in life to clarify their goals, gain confidence, and take charge of their lives.
If any of you ladies are interested in participating in a free interview, your insights would be invaluable in shaping a program that truly empowers women.
Just reply to this comment if you’re interested, and we can schedule a time that works for you!
Looking forward to connecting!
Love this content ❤
So important to get that message out there! ❤
Phenomenal episode! ❤️
Thank-you Mel!!!! xoxoox
Gurlllll… W💥WWWWW!
You truly are a role model, even to this elder woman 😍.
Thank you ❤
Wow turn to what makes you feel better than what doesn’t That ended my relationship 😢
The fact that nobody talks about the book whispers of manifestation on borlest speaks volumes about how people are stuck in a trance
A great and a very inspiring Topic ❤❤
145, taking it all in.
im hearing my life in this episode
145?! What about 2 and 3😂
Definitely learnt a new word
"what is the way to get unstuck?" "The first one is to f-"
Perfect intro👌
I think you get one of those zipper jackets, when you get your Doctors degree, right?! 😂
Loved the conversation. Thank you both ❤
Thaks
Hi Mel, l want to be like you life coach l am Certified life coach but l do not know where and when l start.is thier any advice please and thank you.
“I’m getting six pack abs!” 😂
🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️💨
Here’s the problem…..the real reason people feel stuck is because we live in an artificial system. No one really cares about being successful, people wanna be free.
Part of it is opportunity. Like if you wanna move to new place, but you have to sacrifice being broke and working at starbucks to do so.
I would recommend picking up a job in the trades. Ive seen women electricians, so dont think its only for one gender.
My dad lived all his life working in restaurants either server or manager. But the problem is he never brought home enough money. He gave up on his teaching degree and never went back to try anything else.
I am a plumber that makes close to 30/hr and about to get another license with a raise.
You just have to get out there and find a job you can move up in and learn. Of course my job is hard. But i have purpose pushing me forward. I can open up my own business in the next 5 years.
Mel, I'm 55 and would love to collaborate with you.
What are the 3 things?!
If you ever listen to anything while reading comments, let it be this - go to borlest and read the book whispers of manifestation, then come back and thank me
❤❤❤❤
❤
How many people are writing a friction list as they listen. So Me
❤
Omg this video has too many ads
👍
I didn't learn anything. 😮
Another video with so much “potential” but no roadmap or timestamps. Why in the world would the Mel Robbins team ever upload a 1hour long video without timestamps? 🤦🏻♀️
3rd
Potential? I thought it was gas!
I honestly do like the guest she has... But it irritates me that she always interrupt her guest.
Second
حلم 💭 حلم 💭 حلم 💭 حلم 💭 حلم 💭 حلم 💭
4th
I like Mel Robbins… but this is a regurgitated podcast from DOAC, questions et al.
Offer solutions not problems Jess.
Go back to learning. You have two ears for listening, and 1 mouth for talking.
First to comment😌
Where the hell do you find those three different people Mr. That’s a stuck by itself !
Dr Grifter
I repeat hopefully.
What if no one on the planet knows your name?
Old great credentials from 30 years ago.
What now ?
Please, let your guests speak..you are taking over, its stressful and not helpful
She is clarifying things and asking questions that I would ask too! It’s a conversation not a lecture.
I agree with the fact that Mel takes over
I would like for the person being interviewed being given the opportunity to talk a bit more.16:13
Honestly I find that when Mel takes over she clarifies things that he is saying and gives good examples purely for the benefit of the audience.
She's ADHD and passionate about the topic. This is how a lot of neurodivergent people communicate regularly. It may seem off-putting to some people but just realize that it's not an intention to be "rude" or take over the conversation.
For me personally, I honestly can't stand to listen to "boring" conversation. Her communication style keeps me excited and engaged.
You also have to realize that this is just how fast some of our brains go on the regular (faster often, it's awful. 😅) I do know she recognizes this and has made content saying that she's working on being a better listener.
This also can come from having a big, loud, family. One side of my family is Italian/Sicilian and there are about 20 cousins just in MY GENERATION, so imagine 30+ people trying to be in a room talking at once. I get called out all of the time for being "too loud" (by people outside of my family) but the funniest thing is that I'm actually one of the quietest in the family. If you don't learn to interrupt though you sometimes never get a word in. So that's also the aspect that this can be cultural or learned behavior.
Also, it's a podcast. There are a lot of different styles of interviews but I regularly notice many of them do "interrupt" as well when they're really into a subject, even the "quieter" ones.
Mel thanks for doing these podcasts today l was going thru alot but aftr watching this l feel unstuck and postive to change mylife for the bttr .Thank you.
Mel thanks for doing these podcasts today l was going thru alot but aftr watching this l feel unstuck and postive to change mylife for the bttr .Thank you.