Overcome Social Anxiety | Medication and Therapy Options With Dr. Tracey Marks
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ย. 2024
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Social anxiety can be paralyzing, you may overthink everything you say or worry that everyone is judging you. Social anxiety can lead to avoidance of important events and social isolation which can lead to other problems in your employment or relationships.
In this video, I've invited Dr. Tracy Marks to share her top tips for dealing with social anxiety. She'll teach you two medication options for treating social anxiety and one powerful therapy option to retrain your brain to manage social anxiety differently - how to use an exposure hierarchy and gradual exposure to get better and better at facing social situations.
Social anxiety doesn't have to be permanently disabling. With these tools you can learn to overcome social anxiety and take your life back.
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I work a suicide prevention hotline. No one calling me can afford therapy so the two recommendations I make to my callers is Therapy in a Nutshell and Dr. Tracey Marks. (Last rec is ACT therapy)
I can’t believe the two of you paired up. I promise you, over here in Kentucky, your free info is actively saving lives! Thank you both.
God bless you for your work. ❤️
God bless you for caring wish I could talk to you but I understand 🤗❤️🙏
". No one calling me can afford therapy so the two recommendations I make to my callers is Therapy in a Nutshell and Dr. Tracey Marks"
And Dr is instructing them to spend money on drugs. How can drugs help?
@@ranc1977 some people are treatment resistant. A prescription may help lower the barrier so the person can start working on these things with a therapist. You may not need a prescription or a therapist but here are the tools they use in therapy to help people.
@@Fiox789 Some people do not want to get better. Some people are misdiagnosed.
We can rationalize drug pusher culture and pharma mafia with any reason, valid or not.
The fact is that social anxiety is broad term and that medical community is making it muddled and making money out of it.
Socially anxious are victims of narcissists in authority.
Social anxiety used to cripple me… I’ve managed to get to a point where I can not only be confident in social settings but also just meet and speak to random people on the street, it’s all a muscle that we need to do the reps with…. Over time it’s gotten easier for me to do this with practice… admittedly after I worked on my inner insecurities
Yes, working on yourself is imperative in this journey. Kudos to you for improving on yourself!
@@nonodlamini thanyou very much!! I appreciate it
As someone currently trying to claw my way out of crippling social anxiety, that is such a relief to hear. You hear so much about 'managing' anxiety, and in my darker moments i think it is not worth it if I'm constantly going to have to fight myself anyway. Thanks for sharing and good job!
@@JackyValentine129 there can definitely be an end… honestly it was awful for me, but I eventually got rid of it, it wasn’t overnight or the easiest task, I had to face a lot of shit head on but it was well worth it 🙏🏽❤️
@@Maxhindle - I used to have all those problems too, I think I was initially just shy, then it turned into panic attacks, and then full blown agoraphobia. One of the things I think may be helpful to others is that if you suffer in this way, most likely you are focusing in on yourself too much.
I don't mean you're a selfish or narcissistic person, to the contrary you're probably a very kind, compassionate person. What I mean is you're in your own head too much. You're constantly analyzing yourself and how you feel and how your thought processes are working and creating mental movies of how things could go wrong, or ruminating on how you said something wrong, etc.
It took me a while to come up with something that really helped me. And basically it was to get out of my head and take all of that energy and perception and turn it outward on the world. One of the observations I've had over the years is that I seriously can't think of one person who I've got to know who isn't defective in some way. Everyone has their own little personality quirk, phobia, mental problem, insecurity, etc. And I do mean everyone! Again, I've NEVER met anyone that once I got to know them I couldn't learn something about them that was damaged or not quite normal. So, just knowing this, can be kind of helpful. When you know the people who seem so confident on the outside, might not be so on the inside it kind of takes the power you think they have over you down a bit- or even a lot. As a matter of fact, some of the people who seem the most confident can be the most messed up on the inside. I look at a room full of executives dressed in their impressive business attire and see a room full of people who are children on the inside, most adults are when you get right down to it.
Once you really understand what I'm talking about above, it can be very empowering and even liberating. Seriously, start to turn all of that inner concentration outward and really watch other people, how they say things, what are their facial expressions, when they talk are they trying to impress, are they deflecting, projecting, just pay attention to it all, body language and so on. Over time you may find that by doing this you've actually managed to overcome your social anxiety, believe it or not, you may be totally comfortable walking into a room full of people. And since you've made it a habit of observing others, you aren't worried about whether you impress them or not - you're just there to observe. The mere fact that you aren't trying to impress and are observing will actually attract people.
Finally combo of gems together,I genuinely loves both your videos I am a polar warrior and I am fighting with this illness with both of your support.Tons of love and blessings from me and my family.
I'm SO grateful!
I believe that You and Dr. Tracy saved my life when I was in a pit of despair after my career and marriage burned down due to failed spinal surgery and pain med addiction. I'm forever grateful to both of you for providing lifesaving advice to those of us who've lost our incomes and families.
THANK YOU!
Sometimes I wonder why I have to struggle to teach myself these things like a toddler learning to walk while it comes so naturally to other people. I’m so tired of living in the shadows.
Omg you two are the therapists that I watch ALL the time to self help my new anxiety at 45 yrs old. I was sooooo excited to see that you two know each other! 🥰🥰 You both help me so very much. I love you guys!!
Top ten crossovers you didn´t know you needed. Jokes aside, I´ve been subscribed to both of you for a while, it makes me happy to see you two collab.
It was a true pleasure! 😊❤️
I LOVE DR.TRACY MARKS...I have been following her for years and she helped me recognise symptoms of PMDD. After that my life has been a hell lot better. I am not crazy person. I love her explanations of various psychiatric disorders symptoms and treatment options. She is cleat and I am always learning from her. Then after a while I meet you, Therapy in a Nutshell... so much positivity and enthusiasm. Love you both.
Thanks so much Nur-e-Dipha so glad to see you here and I’m so glad Emma and I both have been able to help you along your journey
These two together might actually heal l
Of YT
Same here. I follow both these two on YT. They are both amazing. Thank you both. I just had to immediately watch this video when I saw both!
Fu
She was very rude to me when I said that CBT doesn't work.
She refused to explain why when I listed my reasons what doesn't work with CBT.
So, it seems to me that doctors who have no tolerance for feedback and then prescribe drugs are not good doctors.
My psychiatrist is causing me anxiety..first he prescribed anti depressants without lab tests first..then the clinic gave me his number so in any case of concerns i can call or message him.he's not answering.now im anxious about my tests results if he already had them.your videos became my savior really.thank you so much!
What does it mean if you cannot talk to people (besides family) because your mind goes completely blank? You can’t think of a single thing to say. You can barely respond to questions and just answering the questions floods you with stress and you keep your answers very short and then the conversation stops because you’re not holding up your end at all…? And this happens in every setting across the board except when you’re alone with family? Is that social anxiety or something else?
It could be social anxiety, Stress , too much overload, performance anxiety, low self esteem or just shyness
probably a freeze response
I deal with this a lot, but I'm a bit apprehensive about medication. I don't want to rely on meds, though I know it works for some people. I'm hoping to get therapy soon. Thank you two for delving into these topics and helping guide us through these feelings and metal health issues.
I learn a lot from both of your channels, I was excited to see you two collaborate. I hope to see more collabs in the future. Also, congrats on your baby being born!
I used to talk to customers 7-8 hours a day in my job. But ever since I got covid in 3/2020 & long covid from that, I have a covid aerosols phobia. I think I have social anxiety when I go out rarely when covid cases are down since I think people I talked to were judging me for wearing a face mask & eye protection when a lot of people aren’t wearing them anymore. I’m looking forward to seeing this video later.
I really like how she’s direct and doesn’t sugar coat anything
Probably you are the first person to tell, people are even anxious to work through the therapy session since our anxiety in a situation where we want to first temporarily fix it before working on a session..Kudos.. Thank you.
The Phrase do not be Afraid is Written in The Bible 365 Times. That's a Daily Reminder from God to Live Every Day Being Fearless.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
__ Matthew 11:28-30
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!”
_ Isaiah 49:15
“Be still, and know that I am God”
_ Psalm 46
"For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
_ Isaiah 41:13
The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies.
_Psalm 118:6
It’s so wonderful & inspiring to see the village of wise & compassionate souls rallying to support you, while you soak up life with the new baby. 🥰
Wishing all of ya’ll an abundance in blessings in all areas of life, always! 🤗🕯🖤✨
I'm an extrovert and I've been diagnosed with social anxiety by a phycologist. I couldn't believe it at the first place, but when I learned more about this, it becomes more relatable. I have neurological issue before, so no wonder why this happened to me. Anyway thank you for this content!
Ohh,that's astonishing. Even extrovert can have social anxiety!!
2 of my favorites together!!! Yall have helped me SO much, I can't thank yall enough for being so indepth with the knowledge and examples. THANK YOU X A MILLION!!
At 11:50 when you said "instead of TRYING to use fear.." I really liked how you used the word trying because it's not like i even knew what i was doing so it's validating instead of being made to feel like it's what i want to do.
Just wanted to say hello Emma and congratulations on your new baby! Blessings to you and your family!
Noticing other people notice my anxiety kinda helps with my anxiety in a way. When I see their eyes move to my anxious behaviors like foot tapping or lip biting, I all of a sudden am able to realize that I’m being anxious and call it out. And in turn work through it.
That is not social anxiety.
Social anxiety is fear of criticism and negative evaluation.
This means, it is part of triggers and flashbacks from the original trauma - being in situation where you cannot leave and you are being criticized and invalidated and being exposed to narcissistic abuse.
Social anxiety is fear of being screamed at, yelled at, fear of other person's mood swings, their temper tantrums, their relentless criticism of your natural mistakes, flaws and ignorance - where they demand perfection from you.
Shyness is being preoccupied how you are dressed and how you appear.
@@ranc1977 cool. Experienced that as well
@@17Knasty It's more than experience.
It is internalized inside you.
You live everyday afraid someone will yell and scream at you. For your mistakes, for you existing.
That is social anxiety.
it is complex PTSD
It’s lovely to see a collaboration of two TH-cam greats.
Thanks Lewis Psychology! I enjoy being in the space with Emma!
Dr. Marks is amazing. I used to listen to her while trying to do exposure therapy. She explains things so well. I wish she was local to me. Great to see you both together ❤
I always have subscribed to the "run towards fear" philosophy in my own life. For example, I HATE seeing myself on video, but I'm committed myself to filming two videos per week for a year, and I'm almost done, though it terrified me at first.
As someone who suffers from social anxiety I think I have a different perspective altogether. I often find people agenda driven, self centred and unpredictable and I just don’t want to be around these kind of people for long for that reason. My anxiety is simply a natural reaction to dealing with these types of people. I just can’t relate to these type of toxic people and try to avoid them. You suggested it is me who has the problem where I feel the issue is with most people in general and my unwillingness to interact with them as a result. I don’t have a disorder that needs medication I simply need to be around people who are not toxic which sadly is a small minority of the population. My anxiety is merely a symptom of being around these types of people. Your description is victim blaming.
I was unfortunately put on lorazapam alongside a antidepressant only meant to be for 2-4 weeks 9 weeks in still on them they frighten me. I tried propranolol but made me feel odd. I recently tried coming off my current meds as they weren't working and higher dose made me more agitated. As I was coming off the AD slowly my body reacted badly. Psychiatrist has now put me on Sertraline 50mg but as my anxiety is so bad he has recommended take 0.5mg three times a,day worried about addiction how do you eventually get off them. I feel now I was given an unnecessary drug in my need of help. It was because I was hospitalised for a breakdown
Anxiety is not natural. When someone is nasty, they are only acting according to their limited knowledge and capability. There is no need to blame or judge them, a rude person is basically confessing that they have a mental disability. So there is no need for you to be affected, if anything you should be happy that you are not toxic. Don't put a rude person in control of your emotions, that makes you their slave. As the toxic person is really a victim of his lack of proper upbringing, there is no need to hate or be angry with them - if anything they deserve pity and compassion for their condition.
"Your description is victim blaming."
Yesss!
I confronted her on another video about it and she refused to even consider to listen people who have social anxiety.
This means she does not care about survivors of trauma, she only want to sell her products and CBT therapy which is based on lobotomy.
There are many origins of SA. I noticed I have it in kindergarten, where children started bully me. I am also very sensitive for a man. I felt that other people are the problem and they are. I can't have friends because everyone I meet eventually show signs of toxic behavior. If you feel you are different, you probably are and there is nothing wrong with you. I made my personal mission to speak with them and show them that their behavior can be hurtful. For example every time someone at work jokingly talk about stereotypes or hurtful things, I tell them that it's not true or not nice to say that about people. Many of them have low self-esteem and use it as their defense mechanism and a way to fit in the group. When I started to read about psychology, it helped me understand others motivations. But if you feel that you hate others, it's ok, you can function alone and don't need to like others and them like you, so fuck them :)
@@saladine check out Sadhguru a yogi on TH-cam. He says we create our own anxiety. No matter what anyone says, they're only word's, often stupid words - so why let dumb words control you? It's your choice how you react. Don't put a bully in control of how you feel, that makes you their slave. Don't hate bullies as they can't help it, instead pity them as they are usually insecure and immature. When someone is nasty, just be glad that you are not like this - and don't act like them, by being angry and saying fuck them. Happiness is your responsibility don't blame your anxiety on others.
You and Dr Marks are the two mental health experts I always look to on You Tube, so I am excited to see you working together. I appreciate the practical, evidence-based advice that you both give, as well as the caring attitude you both embody
2 of my FAVORITE mental health advocates in one video…AWESOME💖🙏much love and thank you for all your help and professionalism 👍
Two of my favorite content creators working together ❤️❤️😄 Feeling blessed🌸
That’s awesome ❤️
The ultimate youtube mental health duo! Awesome video 🙏
I blush severely, but I have to say that the biggest way that social anxiety has affected me is my inability to drive. I was so nervous during my driving test that I failed twice, it also didn't help that my driving teacher told me that in his 20+ years of teaching teens to drive I was the first to fail, much less twice. I finally did pass on the third try but I considered those experiences so traumatic, that I never drove again. I keep remembering how humiliating it was to arrive back at the testing site with a bunch of teenagers standing there watching me get told that I didn't pass...twice. The deafening silence on my way back home with my dad being so disappointed in me. I'm now in my 30s and I live in a place where a car is a necessity so unfortunately my father drives me everywhere. But he won't last me my whole life so I need to get over this fear.
Hi, my daughter is 18 and she is highly sensitive and anxious. Every time she came back from driving lesson, she cried and refuse to take lesson again . She gives various reasons like the teacher talking on the phone constantly ,not paying enough attention, shouting and many more.but then I decided to teach her as i know that she has basic driving skills. I started teaching her with my old car in afternoon times on the intrernal streets for 15 or so days then after being confident to drive in. Street i take her on internal roads explaining each and every small points then roads with little more traffic and so on .an on her test day as she was very anxious about the result me and my husband told her that she has to go to test to get basic idea how the test happens to make her comfortable. Long story short now she is going short distance by herself. So i know if she can definitely can .mantra is when you practice on same road until become full confident for that road .then move forward. All the Best
Damn man sorry to hear this driving is not that bad once you start doing it been driving since 2009 it took I guess a couple of months and bam I was comfortable
Gracias! Las sigo a las dos y me encantó saber que se aprecian y respetan💕Congrats to mum & newborn♡♡♡
I love your series of videos they have really helped me with dealing with Anxiety and Panic. The one thing I can't find much help on is implementing all these wonderful techniques and schools of though while tapering off of medication. I have learned from experience over the past 30 plus years that medication changes everything. You might tell me to go to my Doctor or Therapist and unfortunately they all say I MUST stay on the Anti-depressant and the Benzodiazepine for the rest of my life. I did my research and I decided to get off the meds on my own since nobody is willing to help me. I CT'd the Anti-depressant with not much of a problem 5 years ago. I have been trying to get off the Benzos via the dry-cut and scale method and the Ashton Manual for 10 years now. I have successful gone down from 30mgs of V to 4.9mgs. Now here's the thing. I have tried some of the exposure therapies that you outline in your videos while tapering and guess what the techniques do NOT work. I use the paradoxical intention I have gone in with a positive attitude and when Acute Anxiety strikes I tell my brain to bare it and increase it and when it's all said and done I am emotional, psychologically and just as importantly Physically wounded. It might take me as much as a month or 2 to get back to where I was. I literally don't want to move for fear that my body will crush me neurologically. I have hit a wall, any advice you could offer would be much appreciated.
Propranolol is a god sent. It helped me soo much.
Social anxiety cripples me still lol
Of all the people to fill in for you, the got the Queen. I love Tracey Marks.
Congrats on the little one.
The Phrase do not be Afraid is Written in The Bible 365 Times. That's a Daily Reminder from God to Live Every Day Being Fearless.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
__ Matthew 11:28-30
“Be still, and know that I am God”
_ Psalm 46
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!”
_ Isaiah 49:15
"For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
_ Isaiah 41:13
The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies.
_Psalm 118:6
When I saw the thumbnail I had to do a double take, my two favorite doctors in one video. Congrats Emma on your new baby. And Tracey I'm already a big fan of yours too! Thanks for filling in this week.
Unfortunately, I think the world just makes it more and more difficult for those who have this anxiety. People DO get offended way too easily. People will find ways to use what you say against you. People will see you have trouble with social interaction, and alot of them will take advantage of that. One mistake you make can be recorded and stuck on the internet forever. Toxic negative people who are sly and manipulative capitalize on this. More and more these fears are becoming more validated.
It is trauma. You get bullied once, and then triggers and flashbacks make you re-traumatize the original event.
This is CPTSD issue here. Anxiety is not problem itself. Our inability to get to the root cause is the problem and CBT is doing everything to keep us stuck in trauma.
@@ranc1977 it's even better in a world where adults in power can determine how far you get in a job. Doesn't matter about your talent, good work ethics, etc. People still act like kids as adults, yet somehow they are always the ones in charge. I've been told high school is where that behavior ends. Not true.
@@Spongeman25 Yeah!
And social anxiety - due to complex trauma (being exposed to relentless criticism and adult hysteria while growing up) - we are unable to deal with difficult people and difficult situations.
This happens due to internalized toxic shame - where we are programmed to doubt ourselves and see other people as gods and superior to us,
We were hypnotized into submission and subservience like Pavlovian dogs or being inside Skinner's box where we were trained like circus animals to reject our Self and seek approval and validation from others-
Where most people are illogical, if not corrupt at worst.
I see social anxiety as being arrested in development. We were pushed to reject and repress our childish parts - and now we are too much adult, we rely too much on our logic - and this is causing social anxiety - since we have not child parts inside our mentality, inside our personality to counteract to illogical adults. We do not know how to handle them - since we are too much logical. We do not allow ourselves to resort to childish imagination and childish responses - which are required in certain situations which scare us now as adults.
Instead of taking drugs or going to self-pathologizing as CBT instruct us - I see the way through Humanistic therapies: that we accept ourselves. To stop seeing social anxiety as monster - and instead to look at it as smoke alarm detector that allows us to detect fake and toxic people-
with trauma we do not allow ourselves to cut toxic people out, due to toxic shame, we do not trust in our own capabilities, we distrust our own resources and abilities.
When we realize that people who scare us are actually scared children with mask of rudeness - we will start to handle our social anxiety in new ways and stop avoiding people and social situations.
@@ranc1977 holy shit that's a thorough explanation. Yeah I have noticed that when that kind of stuff happens the people turn out to be not so great. But if effects other things. Growing up religious we were taught to treat women with respect and they deserve the best, so most of the time I find myself doubting if I'm good enough for someone, like they're always out of league. I know it's not true, but my anxiety constantly is in the background telling me I'm messing up and I just come off across as awkward.
@@Spongeman25 " I'm messing up and I just come off across as awkward."
That is social anxiety in nutshell - it is due to internalized toxic shame.
We have this irrational guilt inside us - and other people, especially toxic people can manipulate us easily - by triggering this guilt inside us.
They hypnotize us into shame and guilt.
This happens because:
We do not have Self worth inside us due to trauma. We do not have Jung's true Self. Instead there is toxic shame - it is deep core belief that we are invalid, incapable to manage life - this happens due to trauma when we were growing up, we were exposed to relentless criticism 24/7 and adult hysteria- and thus we never build up healthy Self worth inside us.
Piaget said that children learn when they are allowed to make mistakes. We were not allowed to make mistakes - and now we are afraid if making mistakes. We were programmed to equate mistakes with our character -
John Bradshaw talked a lot about religion and its role in toxic shame in his book "Healing the shame that binds you"
“The feeling of righteousness is the core mood alteration among religious addicts. Religious addiction is a massive problem in our society. It may be the most pernicious of all addictions because it’s so hard for a person to break his delusion and denial. How can anything be wrong with loving God and giving your life for good works and service to mankind?”
― John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You
“Condemning others as bad or sinful is a way to feel righteous. Such a feeling is a powerful mood alteration and can become highly addictive.”
― John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You
The anti-dote to toxic shame (which is social anxiety itself) is self-validation - it is the opposite from hypnosis treatment that we were exposed to during childhood complex trauma years. Self acceptance, as we are - so that we do not feel like we are messing anything up - it is acceptance of mistakes as natural thing in life -
mistakes are not connected to our character or our worth.
This is why CBT is so damaging.
CBT is adding up to our invalidation and self -pathology and tries to "cure" this by drugs and ignoring trauma - which only builds up toxic shame and doesn't resolve trauma.
CBT explains that there are not toxic people out there - but there are.
There are toxic, mentally ill people who are choosing to be evil, it is their clear choice in life. There are predatory types of personalities who choose to hurt and exploit easy targets: people who are kind, nice and open to other people without hidden agenda behind it.
Social anxiety is our ability to detect toxic people, it is smoke alarm detector.
The worse the abuse - the more sensitive detector.
There is nothing to reject, be ashamed of of cure about social anxiety - it is our guidance what to avoid, whom to avoid in life.
What we need to heal is Complex trauma: toxic shame, triggers, flashbacks, dysregulation and self hatred, self blame, perfectionism - it is all being imposed by untreated mentally ill people in our lives. It is not our fault to have anxiety issues.
unreasonable
I'm so happy to see them team up
Love to see two of my favourite mental health professionals collaborating. Yay.
I must be a weirdo because Wellbutrin worked much better for me than Lexapo (made things worse). I was diagnosed with ADHD and I've been taking Strattera which is helping even more than Wellbutrin. IFS therapy is also helping me much more than CBT did. I really wonder if therapists don't realize that we've been trying to put ourselves in social situations often for our entire lives--that repeated exposure without dealing with the source of the anxiety just makes things worse.
"Repeated exposure without dealing with the source of the anxiety just makes things worse." Bless you. Yes, trying sounds (and in many cases is) good and all. But it's a little like letting the blind and deaf person run across the street with moving traffic. Aside from oversimplifying, without proper preparation, tools, and aftercare, you're just letting this person trigger their script over and over again. And I had friends who did not even ever learn things like 'no', their rights, or to recognize when they're harming themselves. I had friends who were still dealing with some sort of trauma response and disassociate and not being able to control the social situation and if it's just to set the barest of boundaries. Sometimes I think that people who are anxious or angry or avoidant use that because without any other tool they'd need to learn first, that's all they have for protection. So don't push that person into traffic. Equip them with what they need to be able to be exposed and actually come out stronger from that. And take their fears seriously and understand them to the specifics because sometimes that is very telling what that person has lacked and needed most.
Just quit all of that shit and go on a dopamine detox
Awww wow, my mind is blown! You two are my favourite mental health professional TH-camrs, both such excellent communicators with kind hearts and generosity of spirit. Thank you for this :)
So what you are saying, you basically do not want to get well.
You enjoy having mental issues?
Great to see Dr. Tracy on your channel, can’t wait to read her book! That Fear Ladder tool also seems really helpful
Thanks so much Nono! 🙏🏽
I love and follow both these Mental Health QUEENS!!
I struggle with social anxiety today however I don’t struggle with the small steps up to 8 is when I do approaching a group setting. I talked to my counselor about this and she said maybe your socializing with the wrong ppl. Bars, clubs and negative ppl you don’t want to associate with anymore. Maybe just changing your circle is what is needed. Hopefully this helps someone bc I started to believe my anxiety would never change. I am interested in taking something to help bc I’m now terrified to tried new things and meet new ppl due to the ones I use to surround myself with. Anyone else struggle with this?
I thought it was just me with these issues I use to think what was wrong with me till I learnt about the term social anxiety it’s comforting to know from comment section that I’m not the only person with these issues
The Phrase do not be Afraid is Written in The Bible 365 Times. That's a Daily Reminder from God to Live Every Day Being Fearless.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
__ Matthew 11:28-30
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!”
_ Isaiah 49:15
“Be still, and know that I am God”
_ Psalm 46
"For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
_ Isaiah 41:13
The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies.
_Psalm 118:6
I’m taking propranolol when needed, really helped me!
Thank you Emma for allowing Dr. Marks to share on your channel. I was not aware of her before this and will be checking out her channel as well. I hope you are enjoying your new bundle of joy and getting much needed rest too!
I've watched several therapy in a nutshell videos now, have had mental health problems for over 20 years, have been on various medications and have about 30 self help books from Tony Robbins, Susan Jeffers, Les brown, Wayne dyer. I always learn stuff from these videos, very insightful
Omg I can't wait to watch this later. You are my 2 favorite mental health experts on TH-cam. ❤️
Excellent video and advice. I find the physical symptoms of a panic attack, like shaking embarrassing and makes me even more self conscious. Then its a vicious cycle. I have found propranalol very helpful. It really works to stop the physical symtoms like fast heartbeat and shaking. They are not addictive and dont work on the brain, so dont dull your senses and its safe to drive while taking them. Because they work reasinably quickly you dont have to take them every day. I think gradual exposure therapy definitrly works. Many people who dont suffer with this dont understand that its not normal anxiety.
The Phrase do not be Afraid is Written in The Bible 365 Times. That's a Daily Reminder from God to Live Every Day Being Fearless.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
__ Matthew 11:28-30
“Be still, and know that I am God”
_ Psalm 46
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!”
_ Isaiah 49:15
"For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
_ Isaiah 41:13
The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies.
_Psalm 118:6
So cool to see you 2 collaborate. I watched both of your channels for some years now and it helped a lot with my generalized anxiety and depression! Also referred your channels to my therapist (here in Romania) and to all my friends. Great job, thank you! And congratulations, Emma! 😊
I LOVE this unexpected crossover, I’ve learned a lot with both of your channels 💕
My anxiety is rooted in Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, which is part of my Autism. That's why it's so difficult to deal with.
Was getting over this but... Having lived too long with social anxieties also caused a lack of social skills. Which killed a relationship or two, then COVID rules caused me to isolate and now I'm just back at zero. Anti depressants never really worked, beta blockers probably make me just depressed. Therapy never worked. Only exposure did. But right now I'm just sick of even trying. Always being rejected is a killer.
Sorry to hear this I'm not sure if I have this but I have to over 20 plus concerts so lol
Despite being on the highest recommended does of three medicines my performance anxiety is still disabilitating. Panic starts well before the event. By the time i am expected to do my bit i am literally paralyzed and breathing so shallow that its amazing i don't suffocate. By the time i am in this state my mind is blank and it can only observe.
My social anxiety is so major that i feel anxious in a alone room now because of lots of rejection formed in past events. I think i will try these steps. I hope it will help.
I love Dr Tracey Marks. She's amazing and so are you ☺️
Wishing you and your new baby a safe birth and a happy post-natal recovery. ☺️
My two favorite TH-cam mental health helpers. I suggest both of your videos to my own clients.
Great video. I’ve been using propanolol for almost five years now. I only use them when i have to do a presentation or talk in a larger group of co-workers (probably 8+ people). This means once or twice a week, sometimes 40mg, 20 or 10 depending on how I feel about the meeting. It works but it also makes me feel worse about myself, that i need to take a pil, to get through. Without it, however it’s nerve wrecking and I’m just not thinking straight. I’ve been to several therapists but the anxiety is still there. Main thought is that I will fail, that I blackout (really happened twice), and because of that I will lose my job. What can I do to overcome this?
My doctor has me on seroquel for my social anxiety and mood. I don’t feel like it’s the best option for me it doesn’t help me feel more confident but it does greatly reduces my negative thoughts
I'd encourage anyone who's thinking of taking SSRIs to check out Dr. James Gordon's book UNSTUCK as to why they should be used only as a last resort and for short term use.
Great video. I take St. John's wort now, weaned myself off Prozac. I had no access to a new prescription and this was 2019. I allowed 9 months for weaning myself off Prozac. Took SJW all that time, to get used to it. My therapist quit the clinic in 2019...
i suffer from mild social anxiety i am okay in the group of people surely by saying Mild SAD it doesnt mean im confident enough to perform on the stage or having a face to face meeting with a person of authority i can say my SAD have allowed me to perform a basic function in life for sure it has stoped me to use my full potential and all the oppertunited i had in my life to avail them but I managed to come on terms with it but my worry is more i age its getting intense now due to my SAD i have very limited freinds and the final blow my SAD is creeping up among my best freind and one of my sibling the feeling is debilitating I have refused on medication but I have decided to go on meds so hoping for the best
For some of us there's no way to overcome anxiety, it just a never-ending struggle
Nothing is impossible
If you see it from that perspective, then you will always have the mindset that you can’t get over this. don’t get stuck there. ❤️
Therapy and medication do take time. Working thru my issues successfully. Thank you.
This came at the right time since I’m starting out on a new med
I watch both of you so I got excited to see you collaborating on this. Congrats on the new baby!
Amazing!!! The Dream Team!!! 2 of my favorites! Thank you both for all the help you give!!! 😊👍
Thanks a lot Asalazlll23! 🙏🏽
Fantastic! I always thought it would be wonderful to have you and Dr. Tracey Marks collaborate on a topic.
WOW! The best video I've seen so far about overcoming social anxiety. Thank you ❤️
Performance anxiety is not social anxiety.
Social anxiety is connected to situation when someone might yell and scream at you and you cannot handle their temper tantrums - since social anxiety is connected to CPTSD.
Prescribing drugs is horrible and lazy approach to any psychological issue connected with social fears.
Like many CBT therapists, CBT muddles social anxiety fears.
Shyness - when you feel social fears but it soon wears off when you go to event
Performance anxiety - when you feel social fears when performing in public
Social anxiety - part of complex trauma and you feel triggers and flashbacks before, during and after social events
Social anxiety disorder - linked to Paranoid delusional disorder - this is when you feel social fears even at safe ambient with safe people
Narcissistic disorder - you are rude to other people but you rationalize this to yourself to be macho and strong
Autistic disorder - you are closed in your own world so you do not notice other people saying Hi to you and you do not interact with people, then you feel social fears as if other people hate you and you do not know why.
Google and CBT lumps all these together and treat it like social anxiety disorder.
CBT does not explain what happen when you are in abusive situation with someone who is toxic.
CBT does not acknowledge trauma, toxic shame, external reference locus of control - and instead it is focused on panic symptoms - which only makes anxiety worse: What you resist, persist.
9:30 "Cognitive distortions that feed your fears"
Everyone has cognitive distortions - this is not endemic to social anxiety. It is called Confirmation bias and logical fallacies.
With social anxiety there are Safety mechanisms, learned in childhood to survive the verbal and psychological abuse. This is normal reaction to abnormal situation, abnormal people and abnormal events.
CBT thus adds up to trauma, it re-traumatize the survivors of abuse and it adds up to toxic shame: by self-pathologizing survivor's symptoms.
9:45 "Exposure desensitize you"
Without working on trauma - desensitization leads to people pleasing and being pushover.
10:24 "You go to small gathering and you fear small talk"
She is describing here shyness.
She mixes up social anxiety with other fears. Social anxiety is fear of criticism and negative evaluation. It is connected to toxic people and inability to find psychological safety in toxic ambient- where you are not problem, other people are toxic.
10:58 "Small talk"
Here she explains route for shyness issues. This is not social anxiety.
Instead of CBT, there is Humanistic therapies - which narcissistic society suppresses since there is no money if you are healed from trauma.
12:17 "Order before than"
Yep, this is marketing ploy.
Altruistic narcissist making money on people who seek help.
"Altruistic narcissists fly under the radar because of their ability to fool people. They hide behind seemingly “good deeds” and friendly smiles, while hurting those close to them or plotting somebody’s downfall."
I love you so much
I'm so happy to see how your channel has grown, Emma!
I like seeking natural solutions or things for my problems with Prozac you have difficulty breathing hallucinations and many other side effects all you need is behavioral psychology and to believe in yourself in a higher power try meditation
I pressed the like button before I even watched the video because I LOVE both of you guys and I already know this is going to be excellent.
I've just started an IT support job and feel like I want to die because of extreme anxiety.
It is great way to confront your fears, however if it doesn't help-
Change the job?
To be really honest here, Lexapro made it a lot worse for me. It worked for approx 1 year but later on i got side effects that made the situation worse than before. I got so tired that i was not able to work or drive a car or do anything anymore. To make the situation worse, my own doctor refused to consider that Lexapro could be the cause and continuously claimed matters would be worse without them. In the end i stopped taking Lexapro on my own and everything went back to the normal anxious me. To be clear, i used Lexapro for 10 years and i would never advice to quit meds without any help. In my case the healthcare system is more to blame than the medication itself. In many cases it might work fine but be sure that your doctor has your back and helps out when things do not work correctly.
The Phrase do not be Afraid is Written in The Bible 365 Times. That's a Daily Reminder from God to Live Every Day Being Fearless.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
__ Matthew 11:28-30
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!”
_ Isaiah 49:15
“Be still, and know that I am God”
_ Psalm 46
"For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
_ Isaiah 41:13
The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies.
_Psalm 118:6
Wow! I've waited for this collab! 😍
Hello - interesting video and content on Social Anxiety - it's good to hear the various treatment options, as this will help many people! There is help for those with Social Anxiety - hopefully, your video will prompt those struggling with social anxiety to seek help!
Watching the ‘fear ladder’ example I began to dissociate when she said ‘say hello to the cashier at a store you frequent’.
Haven’t watched the video yet, but had to go ahead and like it since I love both of you. Glad to see the team up!
It’s really nice to see you two collaborating. I learn a lot with both of you ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your content. You are really helping me face a difficult moment in my life. I am seeing a psychotherapist as well but I use
your advice regularly! Bless You!!
Two of my favorite therapists yay!
thank you for this collab! you both are who i recommend the most to my loved ones who are interested in informative mental health content :)
Thanks so much Ava! 😊❤️
Hello Emma! I’ve been going through a rough time lately but your videos have truly helped. I started therapy and I’m doing better but I’m currently still struggling with existential thoughts & was wondering if you can make a video on it? Sometimes I feel like I’m not real or that the moment is happening too fast, I kind of feel lost even though I know I will be okay. This almost always happens when I’m anxious or sometimes when I’m alone. It would be really helpful if you can make a video or reply to this comment! much love to you and your little one 💕
sorry for the spam! I commented on your last video as well 🥲
My two favorite people in one place.
Do you have an episode on ocd? Or can you please do one, even you can?Congrats on your new bundle of joy😊
oh shoot my two favorite TH-cam therapist together 🔥🔥🔥 Glad i found this!
The Phrase do not be Afraid is Written in The Bible 365 Times. That's a Daily Reminder from God to Live Every Day Being Fearless.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
__ Matthew 11:28-30
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!”
_ Isaiah 49:15
“Be still, and know that I am God”
_ Psalm 46
"For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
_ Isaiah 41:13
The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies.
_Psalm 118:6
GOD bless you and your entire family, and CONGRATULATIONS!!!
My 2 favorite people in the same video ❤️❤️ what a fantastic collab
My two favorite youtube therapists!
Now this is the dream team!!!! ❤️❤️
Best to you Emma and your growing family 😊
Also watching Dr.'s video about social anxiety. Good one!
Hello Dr.Marks, your video was very interesting. I was wondering what is the daily maximum dose of escitalopram for general anxiety. In french they called this TAG (trouble d'anxiété généralisé). Thank you for your video, I am happy that you are part of therapy in a nut shell. I will surely watch your next videos. Have a great week-end 🌻
I love both of your videos! This is such a great combo xo
What if social anxiety isn't created by cognitive distortions but real discrimination? And exposure fails to disconfirm that belief
Congrats lovely!!
the collab I needed
I mix white, grey, and black, with a scale of 1-10 how much I like someone and what I am willing to forgive. I assume people think of me the same way. I have severe social phobia and this helps me a bit.
No you don’t my friend be well and live life to the fullest
The Phrase do not be Afraid is Written in The Bible 365 Times. That's a Daily Reminder from God to Live Every Day Being Fearless.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
__ Matthew 11:28-30
“Be still, and know that I am God”
_ Psalm 46
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!”
_ Isaiah 49:15
"For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
_ Isaiah 41:13
The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies.
_Psalm 118:6
Two of my favorite youtubers!