Are You Stuck in Freeze Mode? How to Turn off the Freeze Response
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 มี.ค. 2020
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The freeze response is a survival instinct stored deep in your brain. It’s an automatic response to overwhelming danger - or at least perceived danger. When fighting your way out or running away seems impossible, the brain turns on the freeze response as the last resort.
This is not something conscious. It’s not something you plan or choose; it’s something that your deep limbic brain triggers much faster than thinking. And it can be hard to break out of the freeze response. So in this video, we’re going to talk about one of the things I do in session with my clients to help them work through it.
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I believe I have lived my whole life in freeze ( and fawn) ‘disability’ from child abuse survival mode. I have a lot of grief about my ‘wasted’ life living gripped in fear. I’d love to access this type of therapy and recovery
Me too from childhood trauma, check this out; th-cam.com/video/tybOi4hjZFQ/w-d-xo.html
I am taking a class from Richard Grannon.
You put it perfectly 😔, I relate!
@Britt Shirriffs I am in the same leaky boat. I hope both of us can find our way through it and experience lasting peace.
Britt Shirriffs I have a similar issue with 8 years of extremely traumatic ill health.. I am locked into a guilt wrapped freeze zone.. unable to process and move through
Fight = Problem felt beatable.
Flight = You had an opportunity to escape or obtain an advantage.
Freeze = Problem feels too overwhelming or you feel powerless.
Interesting.
So narrative is important here
More like "Freeze = the only way out of this one is if they think I'm dead or flat out don't see me".
@@Adnama3697 being powerless implies that imo
Freeze is camouflage or hoping the attacker gets bored, not powerless.
@@janeblogs324 and why does one do that? Because they can’t do anything else = powerless^^
This is so normal--yet when I would tell people that I could not process information because I was pretty much in panic mode 24/7, they look at me like I'm speaking gibberish.
You’re speaking my language
@@TheRealMisterChopShop It's a nightmare, right? I will say that it is possible to beat it--I know from meditation and other mental work that you can beat it. I am nowhere as panicky as I used to be.
Yeah, this happens with me to, only no one knows this about me though, as I believe they’ll be thinking of me as a weird person :/ I never know what’s wrong with me
You are not alone
Me too
Someone commented they feel they have been frozen all of their life. I can relate. As a young adult I naively thought my issue was simply low self esteem. Eventually I began to understand I suffer from a variety of anxiety disorders due to emotional trauma in my childhood. Now I recognize a paralysis that comes over me in certain situations and with specific triggers. And it happens far more often than I've ever been able to acknowledged until recently. I've always attributed it to me just being the weirdo I was made to believe I am since I was a kid. It's taken me 45 years to wrap my brain around the true extent of the damage done to me as a child. Turns out I've always needed intense therapy but could never afford it.
I'm exactly the same, I thought I was weird aswell, I'm in my 60s and I've just found out last week about this freeze. I've been like a statue for all this time. Very embarrassing and it's kept me living a hermit life. Cruel families get enjoyment from knowing what the have caused. Sadistic soulless creatures.
@@Sheba8. Im sorry for your experience. I just discovered my frozen state at 62 years old. Always tense and never gained weight. Exhausted all the time. Also made coordination difficult.
Same. Really stunts you. I am so isolated and i feel im too damaged to break out of it. I know its possible but without support or working with someone i feel comfortable with, im trapped. Sucks
@kevseb66 I didn’t realize I’ve been in freeze mode as well due to childhood abuse. I knew it wasn’t a self-esteem issue due to the physical reactions I get once I’m in flight mode. Trauma from childhood /compounded with trauma from the workplace, (I worked in retail banking for many years where I unfortunately experienced robberies) that haven’t been addressed is mind blowing. We were trained to go back to work immediately and call a help number to talk “anonymously “. So you put on a brave face and continue doing the work. This channel is a godsend…. Wishing everyone healing, peace and a beautiful life..🤎
Thank you for this comment. It hit the spot so hard. Felt deep sadness while reading it, and at the same time - something bittersweet about your (as well as mine) coming to realisation about what was happening, with a glimmer of hope to turn the tables (not in a way of getting back to anybody, but leading a better life from now on).
Exercise is HARD to commence if you are indeed feeling frozen. Once you CAN get encouraged into movement (or manage it alone) then EXERCISE IS A “Godsend.”
Excercising is easy but in my case i have half my right side frozen due to the trauma and i cant train properly my muschles.If that wasnt a thing i wouldnt even care at this point.Also being frozen doesnt allow me to properly study for university so yea its a fucking stupid thing and you cant do shit properly
I totally understand. Which is why they teach you to understand anxiety first and accept it. When we understand it, we remind ourselves that the freeze state/paralysis is not due to a physical/structural issue, but only based in our thoughts/anxious mind. This reinforces safety, takes care of the worry and fear, and makes it much easier to re-engage with outside world/movement. Of course, this requires repeat practice and consistency too: the freeze response/anxiety won't go away with one session.
Yes!
Having major anxiety over work. It takes me FOREVER to finish something or answer an email. I have nausea, and I retreat by covering my face and welling up tears in my eyes. Thank you for validating what I feel.
wow 😯 wish you best buddy
Hang in there! I've been frozen for weeks in this same way!
I have unrelentless nausea that even causes this gross churning feeling & dizziness. I feel like death & no anxiety meds have helped. Keep going to the ER. I think I need a gi dr or neurologist.
Healing and blessings forever and joy and release and light feelings for all of you
@@danashannon8234 Ginger helps settle the stomach. I suck on these ginger chews and it helps. I'm praying for you!
I recently discovered my problem with procrastination is related to my freeze response. I have only gone into the physical aspect of the freeze response once but, the going silent and becoming "invisible" until I will not be noticed leaving has gone on for decades. I'm now realizing following my dreams and doing things my family screamed at me I could not do are triggering the same response that I thought was procrastination. Now that I have acknowledged what's really happening the "procrastination is gone."
Yes. You’ve articulated that perfectly. Me too.
I am suspecting this today.
As a kid I used to physically freeze when I was in danger/being abused.
Seems to me that my brain works like this when I have a huge task ahead that I need to do alone.
Funny thing, if it is a collaborative project I am OK, if anything I will take up the larger workload....I think I feel safer when there are enough people aware of the "threat" than when I am all alone working at it.
It is nice to have those to back you up and encourage you along the way as they understand your challenges. I wish I had that!
@@neema5942
its not uncommon to feel safe in productive and collaborative work/school environments while feeling frozen on your own when things are really 'close to home'. I had a fear of being alone for so long because of this i think. @@neema5942
Thats a blessing❤
Emma, I am a Psychotherapist in Canada and I just wanted to tell you that I've seen a few of your videos and I think you have an amazing skill of presenting information in such a digestible fashion. I like your simplistic, brief and warm approach. You are definitely a huge asset to the therapy community and all of humanity. Thank you for your videos.
😘
100% agreed!
Good
Yessss!!
I agree!!
1. Reengage the Body
-Remind it it’s safe
-Body sends message to brain that your safe
-Create movement (Pat your legs, stomp your feet, shaking arms, dancing)
-After you can process trauma out of freeze
-Don’t move in a fear based way, but in an intentional way
2. Self defense training
3. identifying your triggers/symptoms
-what happens when you freeze, so you know how to ground yourself
4. Exercise
-Get excited, similar to flight or fight
5. Practice how you would like to response
-if you freeze in a meeting practice what you want to say with others
6. Develop the ability to Envision Safety
-Same as how you imagine flight
-Imagine times that went well
I watched the whole video, but this summary is great - thanks!
Thank you for the summary 😊
These are the things TO DO- now, HOW????
Thank you, this helps my ADD self! lol
Omg thank you. I've been rewatching the video trying to write this all down.
When someone says something especially hurtful or someone corners me I cannot think of anything to say, my mind just goes blank.
I sympathise. The only thing that's helped my personally with this feeling you describe is medication. I have done inner work and made progress but theres an anxiety that you mention that gets triggered and I can identify with what you say. There are Assertiveness skills and social anxiety and trauma (bullying) all have an effect from my experience but the only relief for me from it is what I've described.
Right because I didn't expect someone to come at me the way that they did so it caught me off guard so I froze. I was speechless.
It might not be a traumatic experience, it could be an on going situation which keeps you frozen in life.
That can still be traumatic. Trauma is essentially any situation which you don’t have the skills to cope with.
@Unknown Nordic prolonged PTSD is the worst
@Unknown Nordic Not if you have not released it on a cellular level
@Unknown Nordic N.O.T therapy, EMDR, TRT, kinesiology
@Unknown Nordic sorry TRT. Trauma Release Therapy. N.O.T is also very good.
Thank you for helping my little 8 year old self that could not move when she was being sexually assaulted. I hated feeling frozen and helpless.
I always had the freeze response when confronted with someone saying something degrading to me in school. I could never think of a good comeback until later that evening while in bed. It seems my first response to anything that would get my adrenaline going was always to freeze, never to run or fight. I still do this when someone yells at me and I become very compliant. I lost a cat this way and it destroyed me because I let the vet who was yelling at me go ahead and put her to sleep without having any time to think about it. For 9 months afterward I cried continuously over her and started thinking that I was an evil person to allow that to have happened. The thing that made me stop crying over my cat was that my youngest daughter committed suicide. All this happened in 2012 and 2013. I could have really used this information early on in life, especially during the 18 years or so that I was continually replaying my childhood traumas in my head and crying every night. I would say my brain was definitely frozen then!
Szusza Webster I’m so sorry that happened to you Szusza.
I hope you heal and start over with your life and feel more free this time.😢
I'm so sorry that happened to you, hope you are healing and doing well. Thank you for your bravery in sharing your experience, it helps others that are struggling as well.
Szusza, I was forced to put my cat down and regretted it. Im so sorry about your daughters suicide😭 I hope you find peace & power to never let anyone yell at you again!
Was your daughter and adult or child? My condolences.I hope you have gotten help to process all your traumas. Blessings to you
6:09 Re-engage the body (create movement, pat legs, move arms, stomp feet, shake arms, dance, go a little crazy) 9:05 Train in martial arts 10:27 Work out! 11:08 Practice and Role-play effective responses
Creating a Safe Place Video th-cam.com/video/Isw37iCwMCg/w-d-xo.html
It’s key to do these slowly and intentionally 9:02
thank you both for the recaps
Sounds good👌
GO CRAZY GO STOOPID LEGIEHLEGIHLEGIEH
I do this to myself though.
Omg when you describe the stiffness it rings true. I’d be so angry but my body becomes rigid, my mind becomes rigid and I can’t process through to the end of the anger. I’ve found that developing awareness of what’s happening is the key to breaking the wheel.
Hi can i ask something to u on instagram
I think I’m going through this, instead of getting angry my body just twitches and jerks
I wish I had a therapist who knew about this. I had trauma therapy and we never left the talking stage because I kept dissociating. The therapist thought I was pretending to ignore him or trying to force the session to end. While I wanted to work on processing my trauma so much, because it was and still is disrupting my life every day.
And he claimed to be a specialist.
I haven't had a good male therapist . Just saying. One straight up laughed and made fun of my life.
@innerdem0ns omg that's awful, I'm sorry that happened to you!
@@soblue315same thing happened to me too here in South India! ❤ My life story was very entertaining to him, he was laughing and enjoying every bit, did not help me much, charged me a lot and finally told me that I have no future in Indian society, because of my experiences in life!!!
Statistics say there are worse outcomes with male drs
"Patients treated by male surgeons were 25% more likely to die within 90 days, and 24% more likely to die within a year when compared to patients treated by female surgeons."
Also "People treated by female physicians have lower rates of mortality and readmission than those treated by male physicians.
That’s according to research published today in the journal Annals of Internal Medicine."
I've been walking around in full freeze mode for almost 2 years. No emotion, no joy, no anxiety, just being extremely dissociated from reality and my body, numb to feeling everything. My body feels stuff and locked up. I can't break free from this and I can't get help. I try to relax my body, I exercise, I try living life as normal but it never lifts.
This is how I feel. Like I’m in a dream all day and scared by every tiny thing: I slept 2 hours last night
Have you tried EMDR?
@@ericadanielle1012 I'm so sorry, I didn't see your reply until now...i fully understand what you're going through 💖
@@issayousif4788 no, I wanted to, but therapists I saw said that I am not suited for it 🤷 :(
@@emmagornichec5276 it doesn't work if your too discotiated. You will need to widen your window of tolerance so you can emotionally regulate. DBT can help with this and then if you can go to your truma without dissociating you are ready for EMDR which is amazing because you don't have to relive or retell the trauma in debth and it works your triggers reduced or nil!. 💖 don't know why you wernt suited thats just if its cause your to discotiated
I know this is a super blanket non-trauma informed statement but I hate PTSD so much lol like it has been 2 years of increasingly, and daily, freeze response episodes and constant dissociation and my entire life & support system has suffered because of it. This video was very helpful, thank you 🙏
Yeaaa😢😢😢
I couldn't agree with this feeling any more!! You described it perfectly 😢
fr man..hope youre doing good,, i have ptsd too, i get it
Clawdeena what are you doing here
this is so underrated that people don't care when you have this disorder...
I rarely leave comments, but it felt important to share that this video helped me notice & break a pattern today... instead of moving into a self-shame negative talk spiral, for the first time, I noticed I wasn't being very kind to myself, laid down in the sun despite my "to-do" list,(serendipitously) clicked on this video to listen to... and then moved my body instead of trying to unsuccessfully intellectualize my way out again. Thank you for your work. I'm grateful.
Emma, in the name of accessibility, it would be helpful to add Closed Captions (CC) to this video. I am hearing impaired and barely able to comprehend the speaker. Thanks for your assistance. Click Settings > click Subtitles/CC > click Add subtitles/CC > select English and proceed. This way, you can reach a wider audience - deaf, English learners, etc. Judging from the first go-around, I like your style of presentation and the abundance of information. And I would like to be able to fill in the missing pieces in the next go-around with the aid of CC.
Hi there, I am currently working on adding subtitles for you and other hearing impaired people who find this video. I'll reply to this comment when I'm finished :)
@@assblaster5000 People like you are a treasure 🖤
Subtitles have been added :)
@@assblaster5000 you are amazing. 💙💙💙
@@assblaster5000 sonix.ai
Here's a tip that helps me a lot of the time: "I'll take care of it tomorrow. It's not now, it's later. Right now, I'm safe."
The false sense of urgency of facing the impending danger is countered to some extent by the fact that the danger is not immediately in the moment but something that scares you and will happen in the future, some hours, days or weeks from now. Luckily, I have a laziness habit and "postponing" allows me to tap into that and calm down. Of course, when the perceived danger is in the present, the other things you mentioned have to be used.
About body-movement, another "peace-time" trick for telling your body there is no danger is listening to your favourite music. I like folk or country music or music videos with funny things in them, as also things that make me feel like dancing. Dancing immediately changes frozen stiff mode into play mode in my case.
Me too, music and dance helps a lot.
How do you go from not moving to dance mode?
I got a tip for you
Damage caused by 4 weeks of a false sense of urgency can often be fixed by 4 hours of false sense of non-urgency.
The right kind of upbeat
Music will get you up from your seat!
I realize Ive done some of these things automatically, but in a cubicle environment everyone keeps telling you to sit down, stop pacing, stop fidgeting, stop walking the corridors. But sitting down in a chair just adds to the freeze response and eventually my brain will just lock up. Thank for for telling me that what Ive been doing is what is required for me to function when faced with tough deadlines.
I’ve been stuck in this on and off all of my adult life (since my trauma at 18). You are the only one talking about this, no one gets it. I hear, “just get up” 🙄… umm if i could I would! It’s destroyed my career, it can last weeks. Im just so sick.
Edit- awww! I see my comment from one year ago! Always coming back 🧡
How are you doing now Laura? ❤
I agree it's great what she is saying, but she's not the only one talking about it, lots are - look at Dr. David Berceli w Trauma Release Exercises, anything about Somatic Experiencing, and all these people whose names are excaping me at 1am haha
I soooo needed this! I’ve been stuck in a freeze mode since my job has gotten completely overwhelming. Thank you!
I'm in a freezer mode also
I'm disassociated
Me too!
@@trudyvaccaro1560 hi how are you please reply me
@@trudyvaccaro1560 hi please talk I don't feel emotions feelings with my thoughts
@@faisalbi1330 sometimes when things don't go as they should
I just freeze up stop
I need to continue but it becomes very hard to continue in my state of fear
This is so me and so helpful. My default is freeze. First step was realization, and now on to rewiring my response. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing. Any updates?
I related to your description of holding emotions in the body. Also, I realize I start to disassociate with the present moment, get stuck in my head, overthink, and procrastinate when something comes up that induces anxiety. I like the idea of engaging my body, and your suggestions are even things I can do find a way to do quickly at my cubicle at work without getting weird reactions.
8:00 That reaction of the person coming in is exactly the reason why we nowhadays have so many problems getting rid of the traumas - we're being admonished for doing the stuff that helps, like running, moving, spazing out like children do naturally.
Thanks so much for sharing the tipps, they really help!
This was such a helpful video. I'm an art therapist in Korea and I notice more and more people experiencing freezing response daily and I was trying to put together practical ways to help them. This summarized so well, and I think you immensely!
I'm 52. I have had effective therapy in the past decade and the freeze response is incredibly hard to escape from. Your video is so helpful to remind myself that I can't think myself out of this, it is truly like you mentioned resolved via just tricking my brain to realize it isn't needed. Now, I can easily regret the 1000s of hours of my life lost in this state, but I know as I move forward there will be less of it. Folks like yourself make a huge difference in lives like my own. Thank you.
Literally the most life changing thing I have done for myself is implementing intense exercise in my moments of chronic-anxiety -freeze. This is all so valuable. Thank you!
I have developmental trauma and I'm basically mostly in a locked freeze response. I just had my first Somatic Experiencing (SE) therapy a few days ago to heal these unresolved traumas I have. I want to break free from the unhealthy patterns. 🙏
I too have trauma from a specific event, it affects me a lot now, I can't think sometimes and have powerful migraines. How are you now, did the SE exercises helped you truly release your trauma?
@@Puya008 I've been having weekly sessions for almost 4 months now, and I feel the differences in how I process things especially when I get "triggered".
I learned to start looking on the inside assessing how I truly feel bodily (somatically) and emotionally. It helps create a sense of awareness.. and my anxieties usually manifest through my heart pumping beating so fast and my chest closing in.. and before SE therapy, I only knew how to "rationalize" and calm my brain by trying to stick to my present reality.. which I realized, wasn't really always enough for me..
But with SE Therapies.. somehow, I could say, I am starting to build more resilience in facing my negative emotions (anxiety, anger, fear, etc.) tied to my past traumas by properly processing them somatically.
So, yes, SE therapy has been helping me to release and process my trauma. I have quite a lot and.. healing takes time. ☺️☺️
@@hannahestherpanganiban9161 Thank you for explaning how the somatic exercises helped you until now. I'm happy that it helped you manage you trauma better and the corelated emotions with it, like anger. I will look at it too, hopefully it will help me truly release my trauma and just return to my life before. Just trying to think about it and make sense it doesn't work. I wish you a true recovery, and much joy in your life.
@@hannahestherpanganiban9161 hi how are you please reply me
@@Puya008 hi how are you now please reply me
Looks so simple, and you smile so confidently. I've been doing all these things, day after day for a year and a half; and day after day is a living hell with no respite and no improvement.
I know all about the limbic system, amygdala and flight, fight freeze, and the body's response to trauma. I'm an accomplished scientist/technologist/engineer and understand the mechanisms; After having to work it out for myself. Like all professionals we are good at defining the mechanisms of a given problem but that does not necessarily present a solution or a pathway out.
One can feel NO joy or happiness when one's life is urgently threatened. That's how trauma sufferers feel all the time; the alarm bells don't switch off. Along with debilitating shame and humiliation.
I feel patronized when therapists explain trauma to me while offering no tangible direction or steps to find a path out of this joyless hell.
I agree. Today I HAD to take a shower and THAT made me anxious! My body was starting to go into a freeze and I punched at the air as if I was fighting something and my body must of communicated to my brain that there was no threat and I was in control. The freeze went away and I showered. A victory for sure. Try it, you may like it!
I presume you’ve tried emdr. If not, go there immediately. Good luck.
Perhaps this? th-cam.com/video/jHlQ-kfrqdA/w-d-xo.html
Hi. Have you looked into the work of Bessel Van Der Kolk? Be had videos on TH-cam. I am currently reading his book, 'Thr Body Keeps The Score.'
For whoever is looking for more solutions... After 30 years of all of this FFFFFF'S I seat down and start asking questions to myself... Why this and why that... base on my problems... I reviewed my doctors recommendations and come to answer that I have been all the time treated for pain but not for healing. Fatty liver... recommendation... don't eat fat... They told me that I have to go on diet and no one told me that I have licking gut and that my body is full with water... That proteins have been broken and don't function properly... Hair lost, edema... And regarding my brain... antidepressants and I have a notebook of time and dates when I feel pain and in which region of my head...
So... all the problems star from the Adrenal glands... When under all of this FFFFFF'S this glands, that seat on the top of our kidneys, start to produce too much CORTISOL
Our live, that have over 500 factions, then start to over work and with the time our body starts slowly to get out of balance and different aliments start to show up.
I have learn about three nerves systems in our body, peripheral neuropathy , licking gut... and once you start looking the algorithm of YT will start to recommend videos in that field... I found Dr Berg and look at Ayurveda and found Nityanandam Shree...
In conclusion... it is not our brain that controls our body... and I have lost so much time trying to understand only the "brain"... but now I understand that the fuel that we give to our brain is VERY IMPORTANT and crucial in our thinking and actions.
Very many blessings to you all.
Ps: all the good to all vegetarians but I am sticking to balance diet.
YOUR SOUL KNOWS
Having a rule that it’s ok to be anxious and just do the thing - has been something I’ve done all my life without having the words for it. I just did it today and it was just as hard/frightening as the first time. But, if it’s going to help someone, the company you work for, or improve a situation, then it’s best to white knuckle it from time to time.
This video has helped me so much. I never had a therapist even talk about this. I catch myself holding my breath all the time. When something "blindsides" me, that is overwhelming, my brain goes "offline" and it's so difficult to restart my mind. I am happy to hear about going in through the backdoor with exercise and activity. Thank you for this information.
This made me realize that I have a freezing problem in some situations and what I can do about them. I didn’t realize what had been happening. Very helpful. Thanks.
It's also about feeling like you can Get Out of the position / room/ situation that you're in-- not just feeling safe. It's being able to re-active that ability to respond as needed-- to be free to move At Will----- while feeling safe in that ability
Your videos have helped me realize that I’m trapped in this “freeze” response after years of trauma and abuse and feeling very powerless and trapped.
For a while now, everything in my life has seemed extremely overwhelming. I’m having a really hard time doing the simplest of tasks, so things keep piling up all around me, and I just can’t find the motivation to do any of them. I thought it was just depression, but I realize now there’s a lot of anxiety involved, and my brain just keeps trying to shut down to protect me. I’m hopeful that with the wisdom I’m learning from you, I’ll be able to kick myself in gear again and get on with living my life.
I started “shaking it out” and moving while watching this and almost immediately started sobbing. Woah. Guess I needed it.
Seriously, I can’t thank you enough for this video and your work. The timing of this tonight…my freeze response had me locked up and going to some dark places a few hours ago. I’m no longer there thankfully. I can almost just start to envision a better future for myself. It feels possible.
This is extremely valuable info. I recently had my brain's freeze response triggered (extended full-body numbness and mental haze). I knew enough about Dr. Peter Levine's work to search for a trained Somatic Experiencing practitioner and found several in my area (Dallas, TX). Even just one session helped me know what to do to feel grounded, empowered, and capable of finding a safe container for myself in my own skin. Much love to everyone else doing this work!
You seem really knowledgeable, maybe you could point me into the right direction, if you don’t mind. It seems as if the freeze response is dominant in me. I’m seeing a therapist and he elaborated the plan he is going to pursue in therapy - so I’m really looking for complementary information to help cope me with my daily issues. Whether stemming from trauma, cptsd or what ever I relapsed with social anxiety and some flashbacks from previous physical attacks. I’ve read all the Books from Vessel van der Kolk, to Pete Walker, Judith Herman and so forth. But as Emma stated, once you triggered into fight or flight there’s little you can do. I know from experience (like when I’m Jogging) that movement can break the physical cycle of a freeze response. But what to do when freeze strikes you while walking through the city or sitting in the metro? I try breathing exercises but the attempt to desperately keep calm and focused (anxiety part) makes it worse. So if you or anybody reading this comment could give me some hints I would really appreciate it. I’m kinda stuck on that part...
I loved this video! I was freezing from being overwhelmed by over-planning in too many projects for one person. I like the word apprehension when I feel like procrastinating from being overwhelmed. One thing that helped me is thinking of the opposite of apprehension as excitement. It's easy to take for granted all of the opportunities and possible great outcomes of starting. Some people say just simply turn your anxiety into excitement. Using the information you outlined here, that seems attainable. Thanks ❤
I used to freeze up working at a restaurant as a busser. Probably looked like a deer in headlights. My waiter pointed it out and forced me through it during rush hours lol I spent months before he said I got way better at handling stress. I wasn't even the same person anymore. So I guess got over it through exposure and consciously trying to get better at not doing it. :) I didn't even know there was an official name to it. It's crazy my waiter called it out and even said the words "I freeze in the face of stress" not knowing how close he was to actually naming it! Now I know why I used to do that. This was years ago. I guess there's a reason for everything.
When I dissociate on a walk I also intentionally try to slow down to tell my body it's safe but also my brain that it might be scary, but being in it isn't worldending.
Thank you. I hate feeling powerless and small so often, even the idea of a confrontation with someone puts me into freeze. I’m glad to know a way to kickstart my body into motion again.
Aw I can't thank you enough. This method is helping me. I am in a very sad/torturing freeze response. Doing nothing and feeling dead. I didn't know how to end this awful feeling. You helped me. Thank you very much for your words.
This information is SOOOOO IMPORTANT and it's sad that this is rarely discussed
I've been struggling with this my entire life and never acknowledged it until I started a job that required me to move my body quickly in order to get my tasks done in time. I feel inadequate all the time because of freeze response, but this video helped me understand that it's a normal response and that there are ways of mitigating it. Helped me more than 6 months of speaking with my therapist. To anyone in the same boat as me -- Chin up! You CAN do this!
Wow I did not know I had a freeze response - I use fawning behaviour very easily to get out of situations, I didn't associate that with freezing because I have an easy fight response too, now a lot of things make sense and why I feel trapped sometimes! This is great, thank you for highlighting it Emma. I'm probably overcompensating with fight response and blame, for the times I freeze somewhere else.
I feel like this happens to me in almost every aspect of my life. Even in simple everyday tasks, like getting out of bed, preparing breakfast, going out for a walk, etc... Not to mention the impact it has on my work, I feel extreme pressure and anxiety when I am asked to complete very quickly tasks because I have basically lived most of my life in freeze mode. I just can't understand when and how it all began. Although I want more than anything to get out of this freeze mode, I fear like I will be stuck forever there no matter what I do, I feel helpless and it makes me so depressed. When I make the effort to unfreeze I feel extreme anxiety, my heart is racing, my temperature rises, I even feel breathless and often my bowels start moving and making me go to the bathroom or I get nauseous. I really don't get it and I need a way out of this. Can someone give any tips or advice about where to get started?
21-day nervous system Tune up - Irene Lyon
How are you doing now if you don’t mind me asking?
I’m in the exact same situation right now. Literally everything you’ve described
Me too. I learnt just last year at 42 years that I have ADHD and that may be one of the reasons
@@mariamtee it is such a long journey, would your like to describe your symptoms and what people would consider you as & then mistreat yu
I feel like this is really complicated by chronic illness. I would love any videos about chronic illness/trauma/freeze response trifecta if you have the expertise to provide them! If not that’s fine, and thank you so much for everything you do on this platform.
Hi how are you now please reply me
@@faisalbi1330 I have good days and bad days but I’ve made a lot of progress!
@@nimrodgrrrl thanks for reply. Do you feeling feelings emotions? Could we talk please
OMG THIS IS ME
Look up Gabor Mate! He's my hero!!!
Love these tips - thanks for sharing them. It validates the 'freeze' response without shame. I've been told several times in the past talking is the only way to get out of freeze and always hated it because the voice in your head is screaming 'I'm too frozen to talk'. I think many people still underestimate the power the body has to lead the mind
You are amazing. Thank you for all that you do. God bless 💖
L
Thank you! Just listening to this helped me feel calmer. So much of my anxiety, is feeling like something is wrong with me or feeling guilty for wanting to interact with ppl less. I’ve had others shame me for the symptoms of my trauma. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m
So grateful for ppl like you. 🙏💝
I've watched a number of your videos and each time I am taken with how knowledgeable, compassionate, and empathetic you are. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your work.
You are awesome in these videos because you’re not boring and you treat the problem for what it is- a natural response that is not to be feared. It’s difficult to adjust but it can be done. Thank you!
I like that Emma is SO positive and optimistic!
This makes so much sense. I often feel to do physical things when overwhelmed and it calms me. Thank you
This video is really good. Thank you for actually giving tips without trying to sell a course without giving the tips. All these other TH-camrs don't actually give you exercises like this to help. They just talk about the trauma then say oh you can get this info how to heal if you go to my website and blah blah blah.
Entirely helpful this very moment I'm in. Your communication style and achievable, grounded advice and gentle tone assists and resonates with me so much more than really any other individual, in relation to the specific areas I've sought to understand and heal from. You're amazing and I'm no huge religious buff but you've honestly been a complete blessing to my mental state and I want to send you my thanks and show my gratitude. ❤
I always cry with relief when I watch these videos. I used to have insurance and take advantage of cbt therapy and now, without insurance, I love them to maintain what I've learned. Living in current times with this stuff available on TH-cam for free makes me feel sad for the people before us that didn't have the same access but I'm so grateful for it. ❤
Thank you for this video, especially pointing out that actual trained therapists do not know this. It is a minefield trying to get help from a good therapist who understand these things, and not getting re-traumatized simply from therapists themselves who do not understand these things
I've been suffering from neck stiffness and headaches, & I think this freeze response may be at the root cause of my issue. I really appreciate the content you're providing. Thanks so much; you're awesome!
Same. Thankful that you posted this. I hope the headaches have subsided for you by now.
😢me too chronic migraines and neck and shoulder pain also tmj
This is genius! This is more powerful than most people imagine and is actually life changing. There isn’t enough thank you’s that could be generated for this ❤️
I would like to give you a huge hug. You've helped me big time! You're an amazing person and professional. ♡
This makes so much sense and I wonder why more therapists aren't aware of this because it would help SO many people who are suffering. I WISH you had some tapes to listen to.....
I've been in chronic freeze mode for 3 yrs. I'm happy I found this video.
Have you managed to get out of it?
I go into freeze response when I am in an intimacy situation, due to a rape that happened 30 years ago. No amount of therapy has helped me feel comfortable again in these situations. I have decided to give up on having a partner. Every time, it's like being raped again.
Wow I thought I'm the only one. Whenever there's any romantic tone to a situation and someone expresses their interest to me romantically, my body enters these freeze mode and I just get really avoidant to the people I'm dating. Even started to identify as being aromantic. Just found out about freeze response today with my therapist
I hear you. You have to trust again but I know that feeling of being violated again.
It’s so difficult to make people understand these feelings. I’m glad at least that we can share them here with others who are struggling. I’m sorry for what happened to all of you. I’m experiencing similar situations and just have to take it day by day so I’m not completely frozen or overwhelmed...
Sorry to hear xoxo
Practice self love no rush
give a try to meditation
You’re so likeable and super helpful. Thank you for sharing these chunks of wisdom with us. 🙌✨♥️
I came across this looking for help with a kind of freezing. When something strongly emotionally difficult happens to me - normally something like a big serious feeling argument with my partner - I can’t function. Sometimes for days. I am so locked. I have things to do that will move my life forward- work, chores, deadlines, but I lose all motivation and ability to do anything. I feel overwhelmed. So I comfort myself with, being alone, reading on how I can fix whatever issue I have emotionally or to see if I am alone in it, eating and watching things. But doing what would move me along I just cannot bear to do it. My partner just carries on- how do people just carry on, let it go over their head? I am really hurt and can’t function… I’d love to get out of this paralysis. Also the same thing happens if I feel immense pressure to do something- even if it needs doing - I just can’t face it sometimes… it’s like I need to feel emotionally stable to be able to do. What the heck?! Is it just me? Why do I feel so overwhelmed… overloaded… I feel my body go small… contract… my breathing change… then I indulge … help!
Same!
Same,Believe me there are many like us, it just what it is.
Thank you so much! Badly needed this information. Now I can work my way to getting out of freeze mode. You are an angel!
This video has done more for me than two months of counselling. Thank you so much.
I have this cyclical issue sometimes with freeze. I can feel it or feel it building and then that makes me feel more upset and angry at my body for doing it again. Or I feel distressed thinking it's never going to go away and of course that escalates things even more. My brain tends to then find MORE things for me be upset by. Like: "Oh, and what about THIS thing that made you feel this way last year?" etc.
Sometimes it feels like I am my own worst enemy. Or like my head is doing it's best to make it even harder than it already is. This video is really helpful and the note about saying I can feel anxious and be okay is excellent. Thank you ❤
Thank you so much for this video! My first therapist told me my early childhood sexual abuse was my fault because I froze. I’ve always struggled with it since. This was so helpful to hear and makes so much sense.
What an appalling thing ton happen. I hope you are healing.
Yikes, I hope that therapist is not still working as a therapist! What a horrible and ridiculous thing to say.
We have to stop giving all this power to therapists who aren't well trained.
That was a wicked thing to say! No doubt you didn't have the strength at the time to report them. There are some sick 'therapists' out there, using people to project onto.
WOW thank you so much for this. You have just helped me heal from years of guilt from sexual trauma, not understanding WHY I didn't intervene or do anything about it in the moment, and how much guilt I've carried for so many years as the victim, for not doing anything. This really helped me understand WHY. Thank you so much.
This wonderful lady is a godsend! We need more therapists and mental wellness professionals.
So important to use our brains in a positive way! 🙏🏼
This is so relatable! I have frozen a thousand times around a former boss who was probably a narcissist. He was so abusive. Now that I am applying for a new role, I am having flashbacks and feeling incredibly tense about it. He was fired a long time ago, so the threat has passed, but I still have those intense feelings.
As a licensed therapist I wholeheartedly support what you are saying and doing. I love your videos and have my clients watch them as well. GREAT JOB! WELL DONE!
Thanks for the video! Just want to share that I've had several times of freeze response when working with toxic colleagues or in a toxic culture. I remember there was one time that I even sat for more than 6 hours on the chair, unable to move or do anything. The very first strategy of engaging the body is already extremely difficult for me.
this video is super informative and helpful! thank you!
i freeze a lot in general, i have mentioned to therapists and doctors how i sometimes just cannot move at all and/or simply cannot do things. Things as basic as going to the bathroom or eating or more complex tasks like studying and working... even things i enjoy... And getting up in the morning can be so hard because i just feel so heavy and sometimes i try to move and i can feel my muscles trying to tense up to move but they don't move unless i put soooo much effort into it i am exhausted in the end...
The multiple docs and therapists didn't explain to me why or what was happening to me, and i came to them because of it because it interferes with my life so much, it was very frustrating. But if i am freezing because my brain thinks i am in danger and that will help, it makes sense now! specially because as a child i did physically freeze several times when i was in danger and that did save and help me get through it with less damage than otherwise. So my body and brain must know is an effective measure when i am just stressed or anxious. I will try somd of these techniques ❤️
Also, the self defense training works, i can attest to it. It can even be scary and surprising. After having trained karate for about a year as a teen, this one time my mother came to beat me up after cornering me (which was not unusual and as you can imagine with my previous paragraphs, i usually just froze and let it happen), i automatically blocked her swing, which was terrifying when i realized what had happened, because when i was smaller any resistance was met with even harsher punishment, but now that i was bigger i could see she felt scared i might fight back in her eyes so she got very mad and offended but went away and never hit me after that day... So yeah! self defense works. Is good excercise too.
Thank you, just listening to you (the combination of your calm reassuring voice and information) relaxed my eternally knotted stomach like a miracle.
Thank you SO MUCH for this and all your other much needed, valuable information!!!!
Thank you. Throughout a year of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis CFS with autoimmune disease due to unknown possibly covid virus, your videos have helped me so so much. I have so much to overcome and I feel frozen in freeze, physically. Your explanation is healing to the soul. Learning to feel safe. God bless you.
This is the best explanation of the freeze response I’ve seen! And I love all the tools you give on how to move out of it. Thank you so much!
This is an amazing channel! Thanks for teaching me all this stuff, I've been seeing a therapist for three years and I've learned more from you in a few days than I did with her
I agree, you cant help yourself unless you know what the problem is, this video got me the answer to the question why do i procrastinate so much when im faced with a difficult task and i have something to work on instead of wasting time while waiting "right moment" that never really comes. So basically when i procrastinate its just my anxiety acting up.
Ikr. Same. I just started seeing a therapist though (after just 5 sessions I felt as if she got... annoyed? With me that I was still feeling anxious and not able to confront my fears and she just said "well erik you just have to DO things. Try to get that done and we'll talk more okay" and I was like "UM o k a y but... I've been living w my fear for my whole life. I analyse everything I do. If I could find the answer and 'just do it' I'd have done so by now".
Her (this channel's) video on exposure therapy is kinda exactly what my therapist said, but with so much more explanation and guidance. And that's a youtube channel vs a paid therapist 🤷🙈🙃👍
(Now I'm getting anxiety my therapist might read this aaaaa)
@@BeylaKaythin You shouldn't worry about that mate, therapists are like mechanics or hairdressers, if you don't like services of one you can always seek for another. You dont owe anything to anyone, take care and make yourself a priority for a change. :)
Same here.
@@BeylaKaythin
No, your therapist will NOT be reading this!!!
I really doubt that therapists search utube to see who's doing what❤
Be comfortable...it's safe.😊
It is very interesting to see your techniques when you say that we have to move our body to hack the brain's response. I noticed than when I am in an extreme freeze mode, I would shake my legs, foot and toes like, even swing my body to force myself being present in the body and try to ground myself. I always thougth movements sooth me. You just confirmed that I am not doing crazy things 😂
Thank you so much for making this. I always thought I was a wierd kid because my mind would shut down whenever I was around strangers. But now I am realising I was stuck in freeze response.
I'm just learning freeze response has been my go to. I always thought I was fight, but it's actually freeze. It takes a lot to bring me down, I have very little triggers, I overcome all the obstacles in life. But recently, some big changes and loss put me into freeze mode and I thought it was a new response coming from me. But it's not new. It just feels new bc I rarely have to access it. Coming to this realization is powerful. Since the big changes and being stuck in freeze mode, I've since recognized my triggers and traumas that still need healed. I recognize a pattern of freeze mode in my behavior. I want to learn how to change it and/or get out of it when I start feeling trapped there. Or maybe learn how to utilize other coping skills when these triggers come up. Your video is very helpful. Don't apologize for talking too much. I'd listen for hours!! Thank you for sharing!! ❤
Thank you so much. You're saving my life.
Oh my God finally Found someone who understands what I’m going through this has been a huge relief I thought I was the only person on this planet who had this I didn’t even know what it was called, thanks for this video!
Me too
I love all of you in the comments. Thank you for validating me and how real this is.
Wow, this really explains so much. Like some of the other comments, I think I have had this all my life. I had therapy for many years but you have explained this so well. I always thought freeze response was much more severe but I didnt realise it could effect us in the more subtle ways that you have explained. I think I do this constantly. Thanks so much
I don’t think I’m ever really out of the fight flight freeze response. I seem to almost always be in one of them. The only time I really feel safe and comfortable is when my husband is holding me. I know that’s not healthy because he can’t just hold me all of the time. I’ve been in therapy for three years and have improved tremendously, I just want to be able to get out of this constant tension.
Oh my goodness I needed this video!
BEST EVER explanation & advice for those of us who seemingly have been a perpetual deer in the headlights. THANK YOU! Just SUBSCRIBED! 👏🏻🙏🏻👏🏻🙏🏻👏🏻🙏🏻👏🏻🙏🏻👏🏻🙏🏻
You really are one of the best on here. Your sincerity is obvious and your delivery is really good.
Thank you ✌💜🇨🇦
I think I was the person who asked that question. I’ve been stuck in freeze response out of survival and not knowing what needs to be done or the right direction to go in life, as well as abuse. Finally what happened is my nervous system went severely out of balance and now I have a physiological FF response where I get cold and anxious out of no where. It’s triggered by stress even when the stress is not that bad. It’s scary actually.
I had my very first experience of feeling safe when I was in my mid fifties and staying in a suicide respite centre. The lovely people there changed my life.
Sounds like a great idea for me I’m terrified it happens again wish I could talk to you 🤗🙏
I'm a therapist and I find your videos incredibly useful. Thank you
I think this video is exactly what I have been needing to understand myself and have the knowledge to turn the corner. I am so grateful ! Thank you from the depths of my frozen mind!!
You should be bringing the Polyvagal theory into this. It is the nervous system we need to soothe first, not the brain.
How do we sooth it xxxx
@@victoriaharper376 Check out Gene Gendlin's Focusing technique. My secret sauce.
@@adamwaller1067 yes I will thank you 💖💖
I know about the polyvagal theory 😊 I have understood the power of coregulation. I can coregulate with people and I am learning to become aware of who is safe enough... but I suck at self regulation.
I don't have a job and now, I live where I hardly see no people at all and this alone tends to trigger me into freeze/hide. On top of this I'm EXTREMELY sensitive to any sign of rejection, even if it's just in my imagination. This makes datting next to impossible, in my experience online dating is 99% just online, mainly consisting of not very safe people and a way to expose yourself, and those you reject, to serial rejections on a level you never can reach IRL...
Knowledge and insights down on visceral level but how do I get there when I so easily get triggered and stuck by any step in the right direction? It's not just dating that is triggering me, the mere idea of applying for a job makes me panic as well as a lot of practical and financial things (failures) I have to face and take care of
I have tried several grounding techniques like breath work, meditation but they only work when I don't really need them. Once in freeze NOTHING works and freeze is often where I wake up. If I try "Just do it" I tend to end up in extreme panic attack that definitely not helps me return faster .
I need tools to help me move from freeze to act (fight) I checked out this Focus Technique and realize it, as a technique, is a very different approach to those I have tried. This is not a technique focused on regulating your nervous system so you then can act without fear but an technique to, while focusing on the physical sensation, convincing your body/nervous system it's safe to take one small step in spite of the resistance and alarms going off.
This makes sense! 🤓I will definitely try it out 🙏
@@healcptsd6467 Brilliant! It has revolutionised my healing. Breathwork/yoga/journalling etc. are all band aids. They push that toxic sludge-like energy into the recesses of our body, but they must come out. Felt Sense meditations and Focusing help us to melt that energy away. We feel, rather than avoid.