Sir, i don't know how and i've checked and rechecked, the nation has a negative amount of cattle. We are literally hundreds of thousands of cows in the red.
Persian- "DROP YOUR WEAPONS!" Leonidas- "COME AND TAKE THEM!" Persian- "He's not gonna drop dem spears, your grace." Xerxes- "Show Leonidas how much beef we have with the Greeks."
+EnDSchultz uh... actually, it's "Fetchez la vache" (which translates into "Get the cow"). What you just said, " Faites chier la vache", means more or less "Make the cow shit".
I like to believe this wasn't a battle, but rather the final test in Spartan training. "Many go through the Gauntlet of Cattle.... Few return to call themselves Warriors."
Soldier: Sir? Commander: Yes? Soldier: Will we ever lose a battle? Commander: Sure, when pigs fly. Soldier: But sir, their firing pigs at us. Commander:.........SHIT
u mean whats cannot be defeated , well its cows at least arrows u can dodge maybe if ur lucky or use ur shield but cow ? really good luck with dodging it or u know what ? use ur shield , it will work ... *edit* by dodging i meant less chance of the arrow to hit u not dodging } happy now ?
I love how some of these guys are actually getting up after having a fucking *COW* land on them. Keep raising those shields, that'll surely help against a volley of 1500 pound rotting animal carcasses raining on you
Can we all just agree that a raining volley of cows would instantly crush you to death and that this battle is silly? It's a joke, let's not point out the minor details
Onagers: "Cow'er before the might of our cattleputs or meat your impending doom!" Spartans: "Bullshit! This is not even fair!" Onagers: "Your point of view is mooed!"
loses more than half there army rushing towards the catapults, has enough men to kill the men using the catapults and is less that 30-40 meters away from them. Let's retreat back into the range of there fire so we can get more pigs and cows thrown at us instead of slaughtering these pheasants.
***** They had like... 3 guys left lol. No seriously I saw like 3 guys left but that maybe because I watched it minimized on my phone. And you could just say cattle instead of cows and pigs.
***** It's been a bit since I watched this video but I'm sure they had enough men to kill these week pheasants I killed 30 of catapults with about 12 guys left but I can't remember what ones they where as I only have 3 hours on the game.
"Dirty mouth?" Camera pans to Spartan hoplite covered in rotting cow carcass. "Clean it up with Orbit." Smiles, revealing perfect, white teeth. "For a good clean feeling," Cow smashes into him sending him off screen. "No matter what."
Me : 6:15 wow so.... Around 200 cows being shot at one man can't hit a moving target? I'm impressed by that man. He should be a general Me : 6:19 never Mind.
in real life yes, but actually if you look carefully, you can see just the only the loaders. i saw a catapult self rearm itself and the cow just appeared out of thin ait as a boulder...
Two of the crew members loading cows on to the onager, "So do you think this is actually working?" "I don't know just keep loading them this is too funny."
"Then did he raise on high the Holy Cowtapult of Jersey, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst crush thine enemies with tasty bits, in thy mercy."
Imagine the sheer logistics of getting 1404 cows to their respective catapults every minute for 3 or 4 minutes. On the plus side, i assume the enemies pastures will be extremely grazed after 5 or 6 thousand cows have passed by...
![Rome Total War 2 Massive Battles - 4,800 Archers vs 6,500 Melee (Massacre) [Ultra/1080p]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/4sCCBnlRQVk/mqdefault.jpg)
![Rome Total War 2 Massive Battles - 4,800 Archers vs 6,500 Melee (Massacre) [Ultra/1080p]](/img/tr.png)
"Then we will farm in the shade"
Hurlock Jesus fucking christ. This comment section is full of gold but you took the cake.
let's eat!!!!
Hurlock Haha!
Jon Snow You know nothi- actually, you do know something Jon Snow.
Jon Snow You know nothing, Jon Snow
The Persian Empire then proceeded to starve to death after expending 300% of it's total cattle supply.
beakerthefrog lol
Sir, i don't know how and i've checked and rechecked, the nation has a negative amount of cattle.
We are literally hundreds of thousands of cows in the red.
a cow debt
"Worth it" ~ Xerxes
jamham69 fucking killed me. Thanks bro
Persian- "DROP YOUR WEAPONS!"
Leonidas- "COME AND TAKE THEM!"
Persian- "He's not gonna drop dem spears, your grace."
Xerxes- "Show Leonidas how much beef we have with the Greeks."
The very first comment you will ever see for this guy's comment😃😃😃
0:55 - 0:56
"Fuck walking, I brought ice skates."
+Jonathan Sugihara im laughing so hard right now i cant even breathe
+alexww180 but you can text
roman empire actually destroyed some of their own written records so we won't find out about their SHAME FUR DISPRAY
MUSH MUSH, Comrade!
👌
The steaks have never been higher
Ew
Lol
The entire agricultural output of Italy was hurled at the Spartans that day.
Italy literally means land of the cow. IMPOSSIBLE.
"Im sorry ma'am but john was killed in the line of duty"
"How did he die?"
"A co....a cow landed on him"
+winterscaleb "He got killed by a dead cow".
+Abbadon Despoiler it looked like dog corpses not cattle
Gabrielli Andolana It's cattle.
+Abbadon Despoiler yeah i just found out it was chopped up
Somebody took that scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail to heart.
Also, I guess you could call these...CATTLEpults.
gg xD
+Midget Tosser That was good
+Midget Tosser Faites chier La Vache!
Out.....get out
+EnDSchultz uh... actually, it's "Fetchez la vache" (which translates into "Get the cow").
What you just said, " Faites chier la vache", means more or less "Make the cow shit".
I like to believe this wasn't a battle, but rather the final test in Spartan training. "Many go through the Gauntlet of Cattle.... Few return to call themselves Warriors."
those that do dine incredibly well that night
Soldier: Sir?
Commander: Yes?
Soldier: Will we ever lose a battle?
Commander: Sure, when pigs fly.
Soldier: But sir, their firing pigs at us.
Commander:.........SHIT
But they're shooting cattle
jamal brown its the same thing
odst pfc. Epsilon no it's noy
LMAO DUDE PERFECT
+JamalPLAYS MC
I'm pretty sure those are, in fact, pigs.
When your food surplus is over 9000 so you use cattle as ammunition.
How 300 should have ended
Old mcdonald had a farm...
Had..
but then the Persians used it for invasion!
Joe Patterson i'm pretty sure the Hindus are pissed right about now...
then just invade india
eyah eyah oh
What's scarier. A volley of millions of arrows? Or a volley of millions of cows?
***** ye
u mean whats cannot be defeated , well its cows at least arrows u can dodge maybe if ur lucky or use ur shield but cow ? really good luck with dodging it or u know what ? use ur shield , it will work ... *edit* by dodging i meant less chance of the arrow to hit u not dodging } happy now ?
"I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took a cow to the knee."
skyhr lol
i think blocking a cow with your shield would be enough to break your arm
LOL I can imagine this being a Mcdonalds commercials!
This is how they get the hamburgers to the restaurants, the soldiers are the employees picking up the deliveries
XD
That was a jerky thing too do . . .
Юлиан Бродняк ayyyyy lmao
They trained all their lives for combat and an honorable death but then they get killed by this.
Cattle-pults
I used to be a mighty worrior like you, but then I took a T-bone to the knee.
I love how some of these guys are actually getting up after having a fucking *COW* land on them. Keep raising those shields, that'll surely help against a volley of 1500 pound rotting animal carcasses raining on you
Your Worst Nightmare They're very malnourished cows
+Religion is a disease Actually a cow's weight is around 1500 lbs.
Yeah, bulls can weigh even up to 1300 kg (~2900 lbs).
Can we all just agree that a raining volley of cows would instantly crush you to death and that this battle is silly? It's a joke, let's not point out the minor details
+ethan philpot The impact broke the corpse upon impact.
The commander of the heavy onagers sees the Spartans coming
The commander : Fetchez la vache.
Soldier: qua?
The commander : Fetchez la vache!
+handhanh Was ist fick.
Quoi*
is this a historical battle?
yes
Obviously...
This was 300 redone to show the Persians there was a much better way to fight Spartans.
Leonidas against the spartans 744 BC (colorized)
The battle of Thermopylae (65 A.D colourised)
I guess you could say it was *sunglasses* cloudy with a chance of meatballs *YEEEEEAAAAAAH!!!*
Onagers: "Cow'er before the might of our cattleputs or meat your impending doom!"
Spartans: "Bullshit! This is not even fair!"
Onagers: "Your point of view is mooed!"
9 years later but still legendary
10 years later, the best comment.
still better than the north korea's missiles!
True
Lol Savage
This is probably the most entertaining rome 2 gameplay ive ever watched
Advertisment next to video promotes some "sparta" game,with the phrase:"seize glory".
Not too sure this is the kind of glory spartans want to seize.
Glory = the means of production
*Glory = the means of reproduction.
Well that's one way to tenderise a steak
loses more than half there army rushing towards the catapults, has enough men to kill the men using the catapults and is less that 30-40 meters away from them. Let's retreat back into the range of there fire so we can get more pigs and cows thrown at us instead of slaughtering these pheasants.
+dylan aquilina clearly they like Pork and Beef more than Pheasant.
+dylan aquilina Maybe their morale dropped.
***** it did but they had enough guys to kill them so I find it funny how they retreated and also retreated back into the range of the pigs and cows.
***** They had like... 3 guys left lol. No seriously I saw like 3 guys left but that maybe because I watched it minimized on my phone. And you could just say cattle instead of cows and pigs.
***** It's been a bit since I watched this video but I'm sure they had enough men to kill these week pheasants I killed 30 of catapults with about 12 guys left but I can't remember what ones they where as I only have 3 hours on the game.
PETAs nightmare...
Brand new series: History they have never told you
"Dirty mouth?" Camera pans to Spartan hoplite covered in rotting cow carcass. "Clean it up with Orbit." Smiles, revealing perfect, white teeth. "For a good clean feeling," Cow smashes into him sending him off screen. "No matter what."
Looks exactly like CA spamming DLCs at player base.
Amen.
But Rotten cattle seems like a more worth wile investment then Rome ''Our AI can't attack over a river crossing'' 2.
@@richard4888 nah.
Commander : beef or pork ?
Soldier: both.
Commander: then run at those catapults !
Oh well, one guy almost made it. He should have just dropped everything and sprinted instead of walking with his shield above him.
Huh... I think it's safe to say that Spartans like Ground Beef better.
badum tiss
"Then we'll fight in the dairy"
apparently spartans are so afraid of farm animals that they break formation lol
Braden Banks of dead farm animals :P
That'll teach them not to attack the world's largest barbecue!
udder destruction
+Miguel Coutinho LOL! That's great!
Sir what shall we do with all this cattle? shall we feed the peasants? Nah lets just throw them at the spartans :D
Ancient McDonalds
Quote time: Spartans "Run Away, Run Away"
"that's a total displacement of 700,000kg of meaty ordnance per minute." ok dude, that was smart!
CHARGE!....
RUN AWAY!
they got through more cows than burger king does every year
no animals were harmed throughout this video
Love the title: "our cattle will block out the sun" XD
Gotta love 300
This was scarier than a 3D Horror movie.
What's their beef with the Spartans?
20 years of brutal intense military training only to be killed by a dead cow falling on u
the fate of sparta is at steak
So I guess the "Cattle-pult" won huh?
k, I'll see myself out...
Me : 6:15 wow so.... Around 200 cows being shot at one man can't hit a moving target? I'm impressed by that man. He should be a general
Me : 6:19 never Mind.
I feel sorry for the loaders than the Spartans. The loaders have to stand next to a huge fucking pile of rotten meat the entire time.
in real life yes, but actually if you look carefully, you can see just the only the loaders. i saw a catapult self rearm itself and the cow just appeared out of thin ait as a boulder...
Jasper Lim Obviously. Having all of those extra AI and animations would be taxing.
Aye. Even more so when you consider how much the game needs.
at least they're alive :D
I think its even the spartans have to wear and/or get crushed by rotting cow.
Cow-er before the might of Rome!
TheChronicler137 Well it was not rome, but still funny :P
No cows were harmed during the duration of this battle.
The title alone was enough
4:37 When suddenly someone Screams "Fire At Will" and they unleash hell on them
Looks like they got.... LAMB BASTED
They were udderly destroyed.
Two of the crew members loading cows on to the onager,
"So do you think this is actually working?"
"I don't know just keep loading them this is too funny."
the guy in the far back (5:28) didn't go to the Prometheus school of running away from things.
Just imagine this in 3D.
Lol!!! Brilliant! The funniest yet (other than the 2 drongo's who kept doing same to you and CC in MP)
They need their protein.
I am afraid I am gonna have to contact PETA
Glorious moonwalk at 0:55
You saw that too? XD
"Several thousand cattle were harmed in the making of this video."
McDonald Faction's starting unit
Its worth mentioning that no cattle was harmed in the making of this video.
The onagers must have been like: Feche la vache! Quoi? Feche la vache!!
the description makes this so much funnier
"They're getting too close"
"LOAD THE LIVE ONES!"
Well........ that was horrific.
People like to say "When pigs fly".....
Catapult:*miss a shot* Spartan: what an miss- steak
lol the last soldier wtf lol
3:14 "YODO" -YOU ONLY DIE ONCE :D
Disdain for Plebs You mean DINE once
When the comments and title are more fun to read than Rome II total war gameplay
Who says cattle can't fly?
I love the explanation on the description. Very meaty indeed.
The funniest thing here is when you hear "I will have order! Keep your spacing!" from the Spartans... the irony always hits me so hard.
No spartans were hurt in the making of this, but a shitload of cows were.
I love old videos. It was a better time on TH-cam.
Btw HOLY SHIT THIS IS AMAZING
"How do you get this scars father?" "I get hit by giant flying cow" "What?"
The thought of have a whole cow launched at you is genuinely terrifying.
"Men, it's hopeless! Run for your lives!"
War.... war never changes
Wait are those cows!?
Thats a pretty sharp left turn change!
catapults aren't even aiming at them yet the ammunition flies directly to their direction...*ah rome 2, such a immersive game...*
Cow: *MOO*
me: flashbacks
This pleases me immensely.
Oh my god children in Africa could've eaten those
+42nd Regiment of line this was when africa was mainly undiscovered in game time to be exact
+twistednightmare ... Really nigga ?
TheSkipRow Gaming yep nigga
+42nd Regiment of line This took place before Africa became a continent that guilt-trips people into charity.
Now what are they going to do with the leftovers?
Love that commentary! :)
"Then did he raise on high the Holy Cowtapult of Jersey, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst crush thine enemies with tasty bits, in thy mercy."
" If each cow weighs 500kg, that's a total displacement of 700,000kg of meaty ordnance per minute."
I fucking lol'd hard.
Meat is back on the menu boys!
Why didn't I know about this video? This is by far the best Total war video ever made!
Imagine the sheer logistics of getting 1404 cows to their respective catapults every minute for 3 or 4 minutes. On the plus side, i assume the enemies pastures will be extremely grazed after 5 or 6 thousand cows have passed by...
In 0:56 there is one man just standing and floating😂😂😂😂