I thought I was going to grow up and be the best at everything until every flaw showed itself and tore me apart but by bit. I’m doing okay for myself right now but I’d be ashamed to show my younger self what I’ve become
Knowing there's always someone living a worse situation was never a consolation to me. It's actually a reminder of how unfair life can be to many people.
Yes, I see this too. It may seem to help at first but is nothing more than a sneaky backdoor through which the ego attempts to regain control by feeling "better off" than some else.
@@djl3009helping poor homeless people in my life and seeing them struggling made me more grateful for what i have. So it can lead to some sense of superiority but its also a great way to become more humble.
yes and no. it's not bad for parents to dream for their kids, problem comes when parents while parenting lose sight of the world. My dad already yelled 11-09-01 world gonna change, i have higher education than both parents. So i have surpassed their dreams only the world stand stil
@@klm20079 I think all parents strive for this. I'm qualified and have a stable job compared to my parents when they were my age. And I'm sure we'll try to provide a more stable (not necessarily happy) life for our children.
Being average or mediocre has become the new standard of failure. you're not good enough unless you're at the top of your game and better than everyone else. This leads us to the trap of toxic self-improvement: a disease disguised as a cure. Goal attainment does not equal happiness.
It's especially difficult when you've built so much of your personal image or self-identity around your expectations. But typically the harder an expectation is to give up, the more liberated one is when able to finally do so.
@@Ryan-gm6ri but how are you liberated?When a goal gives a purpose to live then how does leaving behind those goals liberate you?Do they liberate you from the slavery of 'chasing goals'?But then if you're the one to set those goals how does leaving them behind liberate you?
@@ariyanbista5837 I feel u bc it can be liberating but at the same times SUPER depressing especially if u built your persona around those ideals it makes u not even want to live bc what is a human life without goals to achieve . This is especially true when one has dreams that can be realistic tho they simply lack the resources or gifts to achieve them. Life is a bitch and if I had a choice I would not exsist at all bc of how painful it is
@@ariyanbista5837 I think this concerns with how to deal with the disappointment of not being able to receive these goals. If you achieve your goals, excellent. In my own opinion, one should foresee, expect and believe and even (although this is perhaps an illusion) know that they will achieve this goals. Imagine them. Create them so the world replicates them. But (and although this may contradict the past statement), when disappointment occurs due to the inability to achieve these goals, one cannot crumble, one needs to build themselves back up. So you perhaps need both imo.
At 65, I have learned to find peace in a simple life. My small home, my pets, reading, continuing to learn, walks in nature, just sitting out under the stars at night. Peace and love to everyone out there struggling with loneliness, and in these troubled times…..despair. ☮️❤️🙏🏻🌎🌍🌏
@@sloper013 Yes you are quite right. I live in Australia. The day before I was eligible for the aged pension I was socially unacceptable. Now that I receive the pension I am acceptable again. It's ridiculous!
Spot on... Not having relationships Not having friends Not being part of a community Is what gives me great disappointment and anxiety. But that's only in comparison to others. I used to be happy with what I had but wanting more in life has led to me feeling empty. 😐
Last night as I pondered how my husband of 32 years and myself are separated, living in different parts of the city, I became steeped in sadness and regret. I pounded myself on all the things I did wrong, heaping blame upon my entire being. I bought into the 'normal' life for so many years and last night I wanted it all back. I was ready to give up. After watching this, I feel hope again. Maybe it's time move forward to find a new path in life.
I found myself in the same scenario TeaTime. It's been over 6 years. I live on a different continent than my ex, but we still keep in touch. We never had one row all the years that we were together. Sometimes, sadly, it is time to move forward. We are eternal souls and have encountered many partners is how I look at it. I'm grateful for the years that we did share together.
@@IslandGirlKelly Thank you, Kelly. I am not divorced yet. Not sure if we will finally end it. My husband still loves me, but I just feel worn down by all the things that drove me away over the years. It seems irreparable to my heart. We are good friends now, better than when we were living together so maybe that is best for us. It's hard for me to move on, and to see more in life when one's life is mostly in the rearview mirror. I will try though!
@@Fair-to-Middling The love between the two of you will always remain, no matter if you choose to continue walking this Earth together, or separately. I wish you both the best. 🙏💕
Or you could drag him back by the scruff of his neck, you have options, this video isn't about letting go of the past but more about living life by celebrating the options you do have,and not following the dreams sold to you by others. Life isn't about what you were sold but what your selling
It's an open door to the soul life & journey. I'm in a similar phase of life, having finished 10 years of eldercare for 2 declining parents with dementia. I'm exhausted & blitzed. What path now? I can't recall who i am. From the very day of birth life periodically takes you thru a hard exhausting ocean swim, dumps you on a strange shore & lets you catch some air & find the next right way to live the mystery of the soul wearing molecules for a while here in a universe. Children don't feel they made a mistake by leaving mom's familiar womb. Let the chastising inner schoolmarm voice go & be a new human kid, with a chance to choose how to live each day, to uplift any of 8 billion suffering humans, help animals or trees, join a choir, make pies for the shelter folks or curl up with a good book & strong tea & write a journal. Time to go within.
this helped me. for hours i’ve been broken because of something that is out of my hands and isn’t even confirmed to be true for that matter. your videos are where i run for help whenever i need it and they never fail to cover the exact issue i’m dealing with. i have so much learning to do, but i’m just going to be patient with myself, and with life, and take it one day at a time. thank you, einzelganger, for everything you do. these videos mean more to me than you will ever know ❤️
@@nvmffs @Liza Field said it best; but from a different perspective; always celebrate YOUR life. IMO, if you "fear that they will disappoint you" then you didn't anticipate them disappointing you in the first place. In layman's terms ... fuck everyone else opinion ... including mine.
My problem is not going through life in hard mode (as opposed to others who have it on easy mode and look down on us) - is that anything everyone ever told me my entire life was a lie. They portray the world like it's easy for everyone - and if you struggle it's your fault because you are weak or stupid or just not deserving of a better life. Everyone exploits abuse and manipulates others while pretending it's not the case. Living inside a sociopath gaslighting society is too much - and why even bother when no one really cares about you (no matter what you achieve) - only about what value you bring to their life. The minute you stop being useful they throw you like a used tool.
It's certainly an argument for leaving their society and setting up an alternative. They may demand us to justify our value to them and the tables can be easily flipped: what value do toxic, gaslighting, sociopathic parasites have to us?
I feel I can relate to your statement for sure. You have to go forward living by your principles and being proud of your efforts. The rewards for how you get back up and try again and persevere will come. You will appreciate and understand what all the twists, turns, and detours were all about. Be proud of you, you have done far better than most given your circumstances.
I think we have to learn to carry on for ourselves, because as you say the rest of society doesn't really care about anyone, thus external opinion or acceptance should not be our main motivation. I also think everyone struggles in their own way, and who says otherwise is lying as you explain Life itself is a constant struggle so don't lose motivation or hope and keep up! Greetings
Well the majority of people have those little things in life. Then those things become very little. Then comes the thoughts there's something missing. This can't be it
All I ever wanted was connection, true friends & community Even that has been impossible for me. Some of us really do have tougher journeys though & it can be very hard when isolated & alone.
Ikr . One realise the importance of even small little conversation or just the presence of someone caring, when going through tough times. May you get your true connection soon 🙏. Lots of love your way ❤❤❤
Wife of seven years left me, I’m 34 and I realize it maybe sounds stupid but it seems too late to start anew. I built my life around her and any life I imagine for myself other than one with her seems futile. This video gives me a bit of solace. Thanks
Get a counselor ASAP, if you know what's good for you. You are falling into the cliche' trap of self-pity and victimhood. Trust me when I tell you that it might feel "comforting" now, but if do not get GOOD (help/clarity/understanding/awareness/compassion) this can and will leave devastating consequences! Be smart and get GOOD guidance on how to navigate through this. Done correctly, this experience could be your greatest gift. You handle this unhealthily, and you could dig a hell like you've never known. Be smart, don't become a victim. Get guidance on how to let this transform you into something better.
Disappointment doesn't always stem from not getting what we feel we're entitled to; it can also creep in when someone consistently gives their best, consistently tries to improve, consistently tries to move forward, and yet fail. And that disappointment is soul crushing, and strengthening at the same time.
I wanted a family so much that I thought I would have to die if I grew old enough and realized I wouldn't have it. But as I grew older being alone became easier and easier, and even desirable, so much that I don't even care about friendships. I also hated my job, I wanted to be a photographer, but strangely enough I started finding meaning in it, excelled at it and started earning more to the point of buying some photography equipment and realizing I didn't really wanted to take pictures, at least not for money. And my life kept getting better. I learned to live a minimalist life when I was poor, so now I feel like I'm living in abundance. Even now I refrain from spending money because of old habits, like I never bought a car and still use my old, small and weak motorcycle that I love because I can move using it almost for free. All I had to do was enduring long enough. I have a cousin that is a photographer and has a family, sometimes I wonder if he is something I failed to be. In a sense, yes, but he also points out that he would prefer being in my place with a steadier job, so I guess I'm doing ok.
I am 58 and I feel that I have just lived. Going through the masses with ups and downs and getting over things with outcomes. This is a great story and it equals out a lot going into my 60's hopefully ♥️
“You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” ― Sylvester Stallone, Rocky Balboa
I love how Stoicism helps us to put things in perspective by telling yourself in the morning that disappointment will come, people will be rude, and circumstances won't always go our way. Our thoughts, emotions and reactions, are what we can control. So today we choose to remain calm, and gracious to everyone who comes across our path today. No matter what happens, or what is said.
This does not convince me. Reaching out and failing to connect does not make me tougher, it just lets me suffer more, hating life, wishing for a quick death soon. This life seems just torture with some breaks of false hope. Maybe also some periods of happiness but in the end it would be better never to have lived at all.
I’m starting to feel the same honestly. Yeah I’ve grown a lot but what now. I don’t enjoy life anymore. Every time something seems to be working in my favor it’s pulled from me. For awhile I could do the “well what did I learn” thing but that’s just starting to get old. I’m so tired of this
The thing is that is reality. It is beyond our control. The only way is to accept and be strong by being better even if your sorroundings isn t any good. It Will test Your character,mental health,and more on what your facing. Its not nice, but its the only way to lived with that situation. You have to find new things that can cheer you as your own self, just to lived life more longer for yourself and what around you that you cared with.
“I have lived nearly fifty years, and I have seen life as it is. Pain, misery, hunger... cruelty beyond belief. I have heard the singing from taverns and the moans from bundles of filth on the streets. I have been a soldier and seen my comrades fall in battle... or die more slowly under the lash in Africa. I have held them in my arms at the final moment. These were men who saw life as it is, yet they died despairing. No glory, no gallant last words... only their eyes filled with confusion, whimpering the question, "Why?" I do not think they asked why they were dying, but why they had lived. When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? Perhaps to be too practical is madness. To surrender dreams - this may be madness. To seek treasure where there is only trash. Too much sanity may be madness - and maddest of all: to see life as it is, and not as it should be!” ― Dale Wasserman, Man of La Mancha
Who is the one who feels disappointed? You're not this body, mind, feelings, thoughts. Identify with your true self. The one which all phenomena appears to. You're awareness itself. Don't trust me, meditate and find out for yourself.
What I’ve learned while struggling with adhd is that life doesn’t give a shit. It doesn’t care if you have it hard, if others don’t understand you, if you struggle doing things others find easy. And people don’t care either, not friends, nor family, nor work colleagues. In the end of the day only you can truly care. Life is hard and doesn’t give a shit so what are you going to do about it? Sit in a puddle of your own piss and whine and complain or get up, clean yourself off and conquer life? There’s no other choice.
Conclusion : This world/life is a prison. You'll be free when you die. I don't know if there's any ressurection/life after death. So it's true that life doesn't give a horseshit. Life is our captor, it always does what it wants. It only lets us fulfilled for a moment to give us the strength to take another punches.
dead right, I could have chosen to give up so many times, on many areas of life, I tortured myself, constantly beat myself up but one thing I had is the constant push to just keep going, you just have to endure despite all the crap feelings that come, now I work on my own mental state constantly and imagine every possible scenario. This has lead me to a good life overall, too many people think they are perfect and pretend to be, I see right through it. You can only look after yourself and the people who rely on you in this world. I do not expect thanks or gratitude anymore. No whining ever helps, whine to yourself if you have to but nobody else, people just do not want to hear it or care, at best you are reminding them of their own thoughts so it will propel you from regardless.
Thank you for giving me some awareness on my current situation. All my life I have been confused. Why was I so depressed, so anxious and afraid? It has never made sense to me, but It is slowly starting to come to me. The disappointment. Entitlement. My past, my expectations. Living in my head, and not in reality. Accepting it... has always been hard for me so I chose ignorance. It turned me into a bitter person. I am trying to get past the trauma. I refuse to keep living in misery. In the dark. I choose compassion. I choose life. Thank you again for this video.
This happens to alot of us it's easy not to celebrate the life you were given because you focus only on what you were sold and never received But after watching this video I have come to realise life is about what you sell or what your getting out off life that counts
I've too been ignoring the complexities I created in my life. It resulted in all this passive stress, aggression, it kinda keeps building up within, while we choose to ignore it without thinking of consequences. Ugh.
I learned this lesson the hard way and I can’t believe how much I’ve transformed by not requiring the world to meet my expectations. I’ve broken the generational curse.
I feel so alone and outcast then i saw this on my notifications the universe sending me message that i must feel the pain and enjoy being alive thank you for this.
I don't always agree with your videos, but this one had meaning for me. Because, yup, life does not. I used to be so full of hope, chasing dreams, living life as I wanted. And then loss happened. Loss after loss after loss. Sometimes so quickly I couldn't take a breath before the next one. In my 30's I laughed at life and wanted to live until at least 100. Now I am 61 and wish every day NOT to live that long! If I wasn't worried about what would happen to my animals, I would be ready to leave this world today.
When he starts talking about 'a normal life' I immediately recalled a passionate conversation with an old friend. He's sense of rage at 'being lied to for most of hes life', and I couldn't disagree with him. I had felt this but hadn't catagorized it as being lied to up to this point. The ideas we're handed by parents and teachers. The simple life that's always seemed just out of reach or snatched away. Even before seeing this video I've long surrendered the idea of anything that felt like family, or a close circle of friends. We have truly become atomized. I'm still trying to work out what the 'new normal' is. It sometimes feels like a dystopia less appealing than some of the dystopias I saw in films growing up. Something as insideous as the destruction as the family unit. Sometimes I play Scott Mackenzie's 'San Francisco' just to dream of the hippy girlfriend I will never meet. Feeling nostalgic for a time I never participated in.
"Study and you'll be someone in life", then, in the university, as i live with other young men, I discorvered I don't know how to create friendships, how to interact with woman. I'm very cooperative and comunicative. I put things foward, but when the thing is to find a girl that likes me. I'm always left behind. All of them seem to have had all the experiences I've never had. It's so strange ... I always notice how fresh I am. And it always makes me sad. I feel I'm imature on this topics... And I simply don't know what to do. Sometimes i think all i need is a girl, bcus I had one once and it was the happiest time of my life... I just want that feeling of being mentally secure again someway. idk
Very helpful. Life disappointed me because of how I was born in, where I went and what I did is worth nothing. I'm focusing on getting my life back on track but finding a job that I'm passionate about is the hardest thing in life. So with this video, I understood what you mean so thank you.
For too many decades, I suffered from envy over what others have but i don't, but very slowly something shifted. Instead of envy, bitterness, etc. because of what I lacked, I began to ask myself this: "So, I want something, say a house; that takes a great deal of money, which means that I must devote a great deal of time and energy to earning money, which can come with stress and uncertainty (work politics, lay-offs, etc.). But once i have the money, there are all the challenges of finding and purchasing a house, followed by ongoing maintenance, more money for insurance, repairs, etc. So i spend my life to fulfill a dream, which once i have attained it does not bring me the joy of the dream. It's best summed up by the saying, " Sometimes, we should thank God for unanswered prayers." Oh, I still have dreams, but now I rarely feel the better regret over what I lack. Remember, be careful what you ask for- you might get it!
Thank you Einzelganger for another great episode. I have Learned so much from your philosophical insights over the past 2 years. The likes of yourself and Ryan Holiday never fail to give me a different perspective.
Aspiration took me a very long way,spiritually& physically.Striving to overcome limitations of your beginnings/ancestry is worthwhile.Soon enough you may be old,obligated, or trapped by a plague!Entitlement is an attitude,resignation & embracing limitations does not have to be the alternative.Have dreams,if you are young,work to make them true if you are able.
Solitude is the most blissful place to be. The problem is not being an outcast but not having the resources to survive. Outcast at the bottom will suffer greatly while outcast with ample resources will thrive. poverty is no joke!
Of course poverty is no joke. There are people who have nothing and are still happy. It's about mindset and we shouldn't cling to life in this body for it is temporary anyway.
My problem is watching others succeed through dishonest and corrupt means while others who proceed honestly struggle and fail. It's how we got our "nobleman" and "upper class."
Yeah. My dad is on team Nietsche. He started kicking my soul at an early age and did al the above to me. When i showed that i could not endure it, i was found unworthy. This has made it really hard to take responsibility for bad outcomes as i am desperately trying to protect my self image.
Most children are actually right that they could achieve their dreams, if it werent for our adult systems and rules that are the disappointment. And we pretend its all so logical yet the results are mixed at the very very best.
I think when people are wronged by life, they then adopt a victim mentality and as a result, adopt a very bleak view of life. The point of accepting the reality of life is to not make you depressed, but to make you prepared for it and still continue to do what you gotta do.
When my career corporate ended after 20 years of study and work to get there, I felt like a victim. Until I listened to Jocko Willink, and entertained his philosophy of extreme responsibility. After that, my life went in a better direction.
I have felt like that most of my life. With my career mostly. It never earned me respect especially in my family. I studied several years to only find that in order to get somewhere I have to keep studying more and more and even then still being belittled by a few people. Also disappointing how many people with no school end up doing the same job as you. I agree, that makes you bitter, angry (even if passive aggressive), and yes self destructive in behaviors and in thoughts, insecurities. I used drugs, drank and lived promiscuously to lessen the pain without fully seeing how I was hurting others as well. As of late I feel I ruined my life because of something very serious that happened to me, it was my fault. Sometimes you feel like something is owed to you, but it's not. I have come to terms with it but that doesn't make it easier. All I can tell you is that sometimes following someone else's dreams (like pursuing a career), might mean not paying attention to your own dreams. I have certain mixed feelings about it but in the end I have come to understand that life in general isn't fair. It's just that some people are able to endure more. Some aren't. As crappy as it all might be, there are things in life worth living for, there are still dreams to pursue. I have to constantly remind myself that one of my favorite books (Robinson Crusoe), was written by Daniel Defoe when he was 59 yrs of age. We're not all going to make it big like that, or maybe we could. But I think that it's better to just focus on cruising around in a figure of speech. Paradoxically what happened to me as terrible as it might be has shown me how fast and how carelessly I've lived my life. For example I always said I wouldn't get married. Personally I did want to get married, even had names for my "future children", but lied about it because I felt vulnerable to people, they take advantage of what you tell them. It's hard to trust people in general. I learned it and I'm relearning this. I've been that person too many times, Why even lie? Last thing, it is better a live dog than a dead lion so just live. Some believe they'll come back (reincarnation), but nobody really knows about that so just live and give it your best shot. God bless you!
I'm at the verge of ending it all, though I don't want to hurt others unlike what Elliott did. I feel as if I was just born to pay the bills. In short, yes, I feel like my life disappoints. I feel like I can't enjoy life because I need to earn money for my family. I can't even focus on my love life because my parents don't have a job. Honestly, I'm just so exhausted. I just want to sleep forever. After all of the sacrifices, stressful moments, and days that I can't stop crying, what's the lesson of this all? After I die, I will not even be able to touch the money that I made. I just don't know what the point of living is. I think we're all just being played at, you know. Some are just really lucky than others.
I hope you are in a better place now, but if not, get yourself a live in job- the first of many for you I hope- and go no contact with this family that is leeching off you.
That's brilliant. And so succinct. I watched the Olympics and Paralympics and got so annoyed every time a winning medalist said, 'You too can achieve your dreams.' What a pile of crap. I'm a novelist. I've had so many disappointments over many years. Takes a year to write a book. You put your heart and soul into it, send it out, only to hear nothing back. Tell me that I didn't work hard enough. (I self published some of them. Excellent reviews but few readers. That's life). Great video. Trying to adopt this philosophy though after a lifetime of Western indoctrination is another matter.
I've been so unhappy with my situation lately. I joined reddit recently and reading other peoples problems made me thankful for my own problems. It did help.
I've been trying to focus on what I do have not what I don't have. I have love of my family, a home, a vehicle, food and water and breath in my body. At least that's where I am at right now. In a couple hours I could be feeling something else but I want to hang onto this moment.
I am an outsider looking into myself out side to the World of other selves living. I have never wanted to be bitterly heartless and destroy for revenge, never deliberately doing harm. However this doesn't mean I will receive the same respect in life. Some will bring me down if they can.
I lived a life of no entitlement and low expectations and for year or two I had the same dream. In my dream I was suposed to live In an old and ruined house. I was strugling with this dream untill one night I asked what does it mean. The message I heard was " don't settle for less". Since then I try to improve my life and the lifes of others. Now when it comes to the others i usually have success of helping them. But when it comes to me, I rearlly have success, unless someone heples me or at least encourage me. When I ask for help on the other hand, I receave none, only when I deside to give up people try to help me. And I think this state of sircumstances is totally unfair.
"Let’s suppose that you were able every night, to dream any dream you wanted to dream. And that you could for example have the power within one night to dream seventy five years of time. Or any length time you wanted to have. And you would naturally, as you began on this adventure of dreams, you would fulfill all your wishes. You would have every kind of pleasure. And after several nights of seventy five years of total pleasure each you would say “Well that was pretty great!” “But now let’s - let’s have a surprise.” “Let’s have a dream which isn’t under control”. Where something is going to happen to me, but I don’t what it’s going to be”. And you would dig that and come out of that you’d say “Wow that was a close shave wasn’t it?” Then you would get more and more adventurous and you would make further and further gambles to what you would dream. Finally you would dream where you are now. You would dream the dream of living the life that actually living today." Alan W. Watts
@@theraf2134 Do you mean on a conscious/soul level? As in, why am I born in the body that I am and control and use it the way I do? Why is the brain I operate on the one that was born on a certain day, to a certain mother in a certain city, country? Is that the question you're asking?
This video popped up after I watched some videos about gratitude journaling. I definitely feel some of the hopelessness and absurdity of life as mentioned in this video, as many of you probably do. However, the gratitude journaling is starting to make me feel a little bit better about things, despite how silly it sometimes may feel when I begin the process of writing things I'm grateful for and how those things make me feel.
Whilst troubles can teach us and help us learn resilience and strength, they are useless without first gaining some self-awareness. Without the ability to look long and hard at oneself we can learn nothing of value, ever. Our ego will always be trying to keep us safe by making up its stories about everything that happens....We'll never be able to either take responsibility, nor see our real worth and care for ourselves properly.
One proverb I absolutely can't stand is WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER. Whether it's growing up in a broken home, being bullied constantly in school, having your identity stolen, getting injured in an accident, losing a loved one, or getting fired from a job, what doesn't kill you leaves you hurt, bitter, betrayed, paranoid, withdrawn and suspicious of others. It LEAVES YOU DAMAGED...FOR LIFE.
If you grow up in an abusive home AND work through it you can learn to easily see through the masks people put on. Well, but to be fair, even that is a blessed with suck as you realize how phoney or dumb many people are. And some people are genuinely nice and you just hurt them through your geometric screaming. Partly I think you are right, but I think there's some merit to the quote. You can learn from anything. That said, I simply have to ask: Did someone steal your identity? Why is something so unlikely in that list? If it happened, well, at least it makes for a great party story.
People who tend to leave by quotes are dumb. I can make one and quote its made by someone great. People will just believe it, but u u know the truth, u have experienced life at a tougher level than me and many others. I do believe u are stronger than me since some small shit could hurt me but not u. I am a Muslim and we believe those who are highly tested and still not lose faith and path have better things waiting for him or her in the life after death. We believe God doesn't test one with more than he or she could bear. You are definitely stronger Pamela. I don't know how u feel or how much u been through but I hope things go well for u. May Allah guide all of us
I realized some truths about myself while watching this video. While I don't necessarily think I deserve anything, my expectations for life were definitely more than I could achieve. And what's more, I've been working all my life towards them without proper result. Realizing this is soul crushing. Makes me want to give up Now all I need to do is get past it. Somehow.
I think you misunderstood the video, it is not about your potential in relation to what you achieve, it is about accepting the outcome, you should watch his other videos on taoism and sucg
This hurt so much to hear and how familiar this feel. I was constantly crying before watching this since I am a delusional who can't get out of his fantasy. Now I'm just feel empty.
I vibe with this completely word for word.Thank you for creating such amazing content. The thinkers of the past live through you. It is so heartening to realize that so many kindred souls exist. Our individuality and actions as a person after having passed through all this will be our contribution to the story of life on earth. As you rightly quoted Nietzsche, we might see many amazing things come out of this age as more people re-center and find a more practical approach to life. Wishing that you grow in wisdom and continue to spread these ideas. Let the experiments unfold...
I find this philosophical pessimism oddly comforting. Acknowledging the disappointments & suffering is life is a huge part in accepting what we can not change, and an invitation to compassion for self and others.
This is why we're all obsessed with bad news, so that secretly we can comfort ourselves watching those who are suffering more than us, due to natural disasters, wars and sickness. It's sad but I think that's the case.
Or maybe our day to day lives are rather dull and shallow and meaningless in comparison to real life tragedy and the raw emotions that those evoke. Like a cutter who draws blood just to feel something. Or. It's easy to feel compassion and empathy when witnessing those situations, and that's something we want to feel day-to-day, but the rigmarole doesn't really allow for that with all the separation it creates.
@@agathafry4233 it could be what you say. I don't know where you live but here in the USA we're living a crisis of human values and empathy is lacking almost everywhere, yesterday for example (like almost every day) there was a shooting in a school in my hometown and almost everybody seems to be in denial about the rampant violence, that frustrates me greatly. Greetings from NC.
Compassion and gratitude are very important positives to engage with daily. We need to live as part of a whole. Togetherness is a powerful antidote to the ailments of the individualised, stand alone human condition of the current era.
That Nietzsche quote is savage... “To those human beings who are of any concern to me I wish suffering, desolation, sickness, ill-treatment, indignities-I wish that they should not remain unfamiliar with profound self-contempt, the torture of self-mistrust, the wretchedness of the vanquished: I have no pity for them, because I wish them the only thing that can prove today whether one is worth anything or not-that one endures.”
Maaan this video hit hard.... soo much truth about the disappointment of life. It's true that I'm generally happy when I'm doing my own thing but as I compare myself to someone else (same age) I feel I have underachieved. I'm talking about what happens subconsciously, like when your browsing social media. Telling yourself "not to compare" is pointless in this regard.
I've always been an outcast and even before I even knew what philosophy meant I understood a lot these philosophers of history speak of. It always gives me chills.
You have seen that the universe is at root a magical illusion and a fabulous game, and that there is no separate "you" to get something out of it, as if life were a bank to be robbed. The only real "you" is the one that comes and goes, manifests and withdraws itself eternally in and as every conscious being. For "you" is the universe looking at itself from billions of points of view, points that come and go so that the vision is forever new. Alan Watts
When through some terrible emotions recently, even seriously contemplated suicide for the first time in my life. I persevere, and kept moving though, and this video is further encouragement. It's a good thing to have a voice of reason even if it comes from a stranger on youtube. Thank you.
Keep going mate, went thru terrible emotions too last 3 months and whole life fliped against me, but i dont think about suicide because there is higher meaning behind this dark time, embrace it and even if you end up alone as me, dont give up. There is higher meaning behind this!
@@nikolagrubisa1429 There is no higher meaning to suffering or dark times, that's what people like to tell themselves to not feel like shit. The truth is that the universe doesn't give a fuck about our suffering or our happiness.
I use these videos for my personal therapy sessions and they work for me. I don't struggle with severe mental illnesses and haven't felt the need to search for the help of a therapist, but all these insights and perspectives this channel provides have helped me a lot in building a much healthier and self-empowering mindset during the past couple months.
To all my dear fellow sufferers, know that u r not alone and that many of us r going through a lot. Regain ur strength and fight. Make sure u smile and greet death and not regret it. And work for it, work for who u r meant to be :)
For me, the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling depressed is the notion of possibility. When I’m feeling great, there aren’t enough hours in the day to do all the amazing things there are to do and to learn all the amazing things there are to learn. When I’m feeling down, there’s only one choice - to sleep until the day can end so I can get it over with. Infinite choices or one choice. Limitless possibility or trapped in a prison. The hard part is letting yourself out of that prison.
This video was really inspiring to me, i always had a good life and i'm very grateful for it but sometimes i'm still quite depressed because it seems to me that everything was givven to me without efforts or merits. I always had since childhood many ambitions and i still have some of them right now but i was never able to realize them and this often makes me feel like a failure, especially because i have many friends who seems to be what i always wanted to be.
There is no such thing as ‘normal’. ‘Normal’ is a label placed by ‘society’. There is no ‘society’ either. That is also a label. What there IS: a group of people throughout the world, living their lives, and thinking they have to fit some mold to be successful. All are comparing themselves to everyone else, instead of paying attention to looking after themselves. By “looking after themselves”, I am not implying that this means to be uncaring of others, etc. What I am saying is, people need to stay in their own lane, mind their own business, live a life that makes them happy, and stop comparing themselves to others. Success is what you make it to be, not what others tell you it should be. We are not victims of life, but beneficiaries to it.
I was disappointed by life. Once. When innocence finally matured. When I see the world, curtains raised. I got over it.. I think. I keep my expectations low, and I always expect a stroke of bad luck around the corner. What ends up happening now, is numbness. And indifference... Something bad happens, "Why wouldn't it?". Try harder, "Meh, I don't care enough. I mean, why? Right?"
So to summarize: 1)keep expectations low so you will be pleasantly surprised 2)don't hold on to negative stuff such as people, memories, emotions, etc 3)have the courage to explore and go out of your comfort zone.
This is why i don't really have a dream. Instead, I call them a goal. A dream sounds like a destination in where you'll get extremely disappointed if you can't reach it. While a goal tells you to keep striving for it no matter the amount of failures ahead. Because as a quote I've seen on a book once said, "If you think it's about getting to the top of the mountain, you're dead wrong. It's about enjoying the hike."
I guess everyone has to find his own meaning in life, figuring out what is really important to yourself independent of the expectations of others, independent of others in general and independent of the pressures expected normal. When you figured out what it is, go in this direction. As soon as you depend on somebody else or something specific to happen it can be disappointing, frustrating and harsh. You can not avoid situation where you depend on others but you might improve your mindset when you face these situations over time. Be greatful what life gives you and if it's lemons, well, I like lemons! Totally fine with it. If it's not lemons, I am curious about what it is and if I can learn something new.
Einzelganger, I’m applauding your learnings and observations on life’s devastating, yet impersonal obstacles and the way to turn poison into medicine, as we do with snake venom. I applaud, likewise, the research team and your writer(s). Compassion for ourselves and all others is the only path capable of healing our humanity. Bravo! For your contributions!
“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing." - Seneca “Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” - Epictetus If we can acknowledge & apply this wisdom, then we should never fall prey to the disappointments of life. I really appreciate this very insightful & powerful video, well done sir!
We need more porches. I remember when very young in the 60s, we'd go to relatives' homes and spend hours out on the porch. It's what you did, watching cars go by, chatting, pickup stix, or contemplating.
The hardest part of life is when you realized that you are not the person you thought you are.
man......
I thought I was going to grow up and be the best at everything until every flaw showed itself and tore me apart but by bit. I’m doing okay for myself right now but I’d be ashamed to show my younger self what I’ve become
The best part is that the thoughts were false. Sometimes life circumstances make you believe shit about you which is no where near to reality.
@@SunDogGodexactly my feeling.
Yup
Knowing there's always someone living a worse situation was never a consolation to me. It's actually a reminder of how unfair life can be to many people.
True
Yes, I see this too. It may seem to help at first but is nothing more than a sneaky backdoor through which the ego attempts to regain control by feeling "better off" than some else.
Good point. There's a fine line between being grateful for what we have vs. feeling in a superior position compared to others.
Yip, never compare yourself to others, better or worse off,
@@djl3009helping poor homeless people in my life and seeing them struggling made me more grateful for what i have. So it can lead to some sense of superiority but its also a great way to become more humble.
"Our parents raised us with hopes and dreams unfit for our time" so damn true man!!!
I know, friend.
The world has become more significantly narcissistic and superficial.
yes and no. it's not bad for parents to dream for their kids, problem comes when parents while parenting lose sight of the world. My dad already yelled 11-09-01 world gonna change, i have higher education than both parents. So i have surpassed their dreams only the world stand stil
Can't blame them either...
I already have plans on how to raise my son or daughter and I I've never had a relationship 😅🤭
@@klm20079 I think all parents strive for this. I'm qualified and have a stable job compared to my parents when they were my age.
And I'm sure we'll try to provide a more stable (not necessarily happy) life for our children.
Being average or mediocre has become the new standard of failure. you're not good enough unless you're at the top of your game and better than everyone else. This leads us to the trap of toxic self-improvement: a disease disguised as a cure. Goal attainment does not equal happiness.
Goals come and go. But to exalt average as a standard is placing on a straight jacket, we desire more
What is the answer ?
@@pink_sunsets agreed, the pursuit, the knowledge gained while "pursuing" is actually the purpose
Films like black swan and whiplash encapsulate the trap of perfection remarkably
Money is never enough
Letting go of expectations you've had your whole life is so difficult. It feels like giving up and liberating yourself at the same time.
finally someone said it. it's easy to say don't expect so u won't be disappointed but it's hard to do
It's especially difficult when you've built so much of your personal image or self-identity around your expectations.
But typically the harder an expectation is to give up, the more liberated one is when able to finally do so.
@@Ryan-gm6ri but how are you liberated?When a goal gives a purpose to live then how does leaving behind those goals liberate you?Do they liberate you from the slavery of 'chasing goals'?But then if you're the one to set those goals how does leaving them behind liberate you?
@@ariyanbista5837 I feel u bc it can be liberating but at the same times SUPER depressing especially if u built your persona around those ideals it makes u not even want to live bc what is a human life without goals to achieve . This is especially true when one has dreams that can be realistic tho they simply lack the resources or gifts to achieve them. Life is a bitch and if I had a choice I would not exsist at all bc of how painful it is
@@ariyanbista5837 I think this concerns with how to deal with the disappointment of not being able to receive these goals. If you achieve your goals, excellent. In my own opinion, one should foresee, expect and believe and even (although this is perhaps an illusion) know that they will achieve this goals. Imagine them. Create them so the world replicates them. But (and although this may contradict the past statement), when disappointment occurs due to the inability to achieve these goals, one cannot crumble, one needs to build themselves back up. So you perhaps need both imo.
At 65, I have learned to find peace in a simple life. My small home, my pets, reading, continuing to learn, walks in nature, just sitting out under the stars at night. Peace and love to everyone out there struggling with loneliness, and in these troubled times…..despair. ☮️❤️🙏🏻🌎🌍🌏
Even without all that you call 'mine', you're bliss itself.
Great post, you have your priorities right 😎👍
I'm 66 and am living the simple life also.
unfortunately this is frowned upon when you are 38 and on wellfare ;) seems like I am too early in the eyes of society
@@sloper013 Yes you are quite right. I live in Australia. The day before I was eligible for the aged pension I was socially unacceptable. Now that I receive the pension I am acceptable again. It's ridiculous!
Spot on...
Not having relationships
Not having friends
Not being part of a community
Is what gives me great disappointment and anxiety.
But that's only in comparison to others.
I used to be happy with what I had but wanting more in life has led to me feeling empty. 😐
Last night as I pondered how my husband of 32 years and myself are separated, living in different parts of the city, I became steeped in sadness and regret. I pounded myself on all the things I did wrong, heaping blame upon my entire being. I bought into the 'normal' life for so many years and last night I wanted it all back. I was ready to give up. After watching this, I feel hope again. Maybe it's time move forward to find a new path in life.
I found myself in the same scenario TeaTime. It's been over 6 years. I live on a different continent than my ex, but we still keep in touch. We never had one row all the years that we were together. Sometimes, sadly, it is time to move forward. We are eternal souls and have encountered many partners is how I look at it. I'm grateful for the years that we did share together.
@@IslandGirlKelly Thank you, Kelly. I am not divorced yet. Not sure if we will finally end it. My husband still loves me, but I just feel worn down by all the things that drove me away over the years. It seems irreparable to my heart. We are good friends now, better than when we were living together so maybe that is best for us. It's hard for me to move on, and to see more in life when one's life is mostly in the rearview mirror. I will try though!
@@Fair-to-Middling The love between the two of you will always remain, no matter if you choose to continue walking this Earth together, or separately. I wish you both the best. 🙏💕
Or you could drag him back by the scruff of his neck, you have options, this video isn't about letting go of the past but more about living life by celebrating the options you do have,and not following the dreams sold to you by others.
Life isn't about what you were sold but what your selling
It's an open door to the soul life & journey. I'm in a similar phase of life, having finished 10 years of eldercare for 2 declining parents with dementia. I'm exhausted & blitzed. What path now? I can't recall who i am. From the very day of birth life periodically takes you thru a hard exhausting ocean swim, dumps you on a strange shore & lets you catch some air & find the next right way to live the mystery of the soul wearing molecules for a while here in a universe. Children don't feel they made a mistake by leaving mom's familiar womb. Let the chastising inner schoolmarm voice go & be a new human kid, with a chance to choose how to live each day, to uplift any of 8 billion suffering humans, help animals or trees, join a choir, make pies for the shelter folks or curl up with a good book & strong tea & write a journal. Time to go within.
this helped me. for hours i’ve been broken because of something that is out of my hands and isn’t even confirmed to be true for that matter. your videos are where i run for help whenever i need it and they never fail to cover the exact issue i’m dealing with. i have so much learning to do, but i’m just going to be patient with myself, and with life, and take it one day at a time. thank you, einzelganger, for everything you do. these videos mean more to me than you will ever know ❤️
Feel better 🙏🤍
Broken for hours?
Lucky you 🍀 I’ve been broken for the last 12 years…
Same here.
Your true nature is bliss itself. Keep going on your journey, be sincere and you will realise it in a flash.
Wow truee .... I can relate. I think we should be friends
“It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.” Fight Club.Great video btw.
And thus, Beware of a man who has nothing to lose.
Free to do anything withing the confines of a prison cell, sure.
@@bjap1563 a man is most dangerous when he has nothing to lose
It is the ones who have cracked that the light shines through...
@@bjap1563 fear mongerer ;)
Understand that everyone will always disappoint you in everything ... that way you get to celebrate when they don't.
Ha, that is wise & jolly. You're a stoic! Thank you!
When can I celebrate then? Because I fear that it won't take long before they disappoint me if I start celebrating.
@@nvmffs funny! Then you can celebrate them not disappointing you in the generous capacity to disappoint!
@@nvmffs @Liza Field said it best; but from a different perspective; always celebrate YOUR life. IMO, if you "fear that they will disappoint you" then you didn't anticipate them disappointing you in the first place. In layman's terms ... fuck everyone else opinion ... including mine.
it hurts man... there's just so much of it
My problem is not going through life in hard mode (as opposed to others who have it on easy mode and look down on us) - is that anything everyone ever told me my entire life was a lie. They portray the world like it's easy for everyone - and if you struggle it's your fault because you are weak or stupid or just not deserving of a better life. Everyone exploits abuse and manipulates others while pretending it's not the case. Living inside a sociopath gaslighting society is too much - and why even bother when no one really cares about you (no matter what you achieve) - only about what value you bring to their life. The minute you stop being useful they throw you like a used tool.
It's certainly an argument for leaving their society and setting up an alternative. They may demand us to justify our value to them and the tables can be easily flipped: what value do toxic, gaslighting, sociopathic parasites have to us?
I feel I can relate to your statement for sure. You have to go forward living by your principles and being proud of your efforts. The rewards for how you get back up and try again and persevere will come. You will appreciate and understand what all the twists, turns, and detours were all about. Be proud of you, you have done far better than most given your circumstances.
I think we have to learn to carry on for ourselves, because as you say the rest of society doesn't really care about anyone, thus external opinion or acceptance should not be our main motivation. I also think everyone struggles in their own way, and who says otherwise is lying as you explain Life itself is a constant struggle so don't lose motivation or hope and keep up!
Greetings
There is no dissapointment, where there is no expectation.
There is only bliss when you know your true nature.
@@sentientpower What is your true nature?
@@themacocko6311 Invincible, Indestructible, Fearless, Unchanging
Unformed, Unborn, Imperishable, Etheric
Unbreakable, Impenetrable, Unseen, Unaffected
Undying, Merciful, Indescribable, Uncostumed
Nameless, Desireless, Unfathomable, Incorruptible
Unmastered, Destroyer, Beyond birth, Beyond silence
Beyond love, Beyond colour, Beyond form, Beyond shape
Beyond karma, Beyond doubt, Unconquerable, Indescribable
@@themacocko6311 this is the shared being of all life. This is the real you.
True
wish it were that simple.
Ah life
i love how he sounds normal the entire time but then *aggressively german* when pronouncing Friedrich Nietzsche
I noticed that too. I think he practiced beforehand, making sure to nail it. Not dissing him, I would have done the same thing!
He is a Dutch guy I think. So that's easy for him. Very similar language.
Lol "normal"
@Princess Christopher The Merciful no
@Princess Christopher The Merciful nein
You dropped this video at the perfect time man, thank you
You look like Hindustani bhau
Google him
@@andyc9902 omg I can see it 🤣
@@PapaBear5433 haha .... Learn a bit of Hindi slangs and post it on TH-cam you'll be famous in no time
You're so observant, he really looks like one.
Somewhere someone wishes they had what you had. It can always be worse so be thankful.
I don't wish for positive things from life anymore, I just wish for a bare minimum of horrific things. Apparently that is also too much to ask.
That's true
Happy people focus on whatever little they have..... unhappy people focus on what's missing. So, always be that "happy" person.
Well the majority of people have those little things in life. Then those things become very little. Then comes the thoughts there's something missing. This can't be it
i miss my child :'(
Gratitude
If not happy, at least have some humility.
@@Jennozen1 true... humility goes a long way. 👍🏻
All I ever wanted was connection, true friends & community Even that has been impossible for me. Some of us really do have tougher journeys though & it can be very hard when isolated & alone.
Ikr . One realise the importance of even small little conversation or just the presence of someone caring, when going through tough times.
May you get your true connection soon 🙏.
Lots of love your way ❤❤❤
@@wanderer37 thank you!..❤️ Yeah even just one friend would be good. Genuine.
There is a potential friend here ✌️ how you doing?
Hai sa fim prieteni atunci.
You're never alone.
Wife of seven years left me, I’m 34 and I realize it maybe sounds stupid but it seems too late to start anew. I built my life around her and any life I imagine for myself other than one with her seems futile. This video gives me a bit of solace. Thanks
Hey Jay. You still have your Wife's beautiful memories and I am sure wherever your wife is she wants to see you happy and peaceful!
Follow Richard cooper unplugged alpha on TH-cam he’ll turn you into a beast
34... you are just a young guy with a long future ahead of you. I am 73. I would be quite happy to be a youngster of a mere 34 again!!!!! 😊
Get a counselor ASAP, if you know what's good for you. You are falling into the cliche' trap of self-pity and victimhood. Trust me when I tell you that it might feel "comforting" now, but if do not get GOOD (help/clarity/understanding/awareness/compassion) this can and will leave devastating consequences! Be smart and get GOOD guidance on how to navigate through this. Done correctly, this experience could be your greatest gift. You handle this unhealthily, and you could dig a hell like you've never known. Be smart, don't become a victim. Get guidance on how to let this transform you into something better.
Left you as in? passed away or divorce?
Disappointment doesn't always stem from not getting what we feel we're entitled to; it can also creep in when someone consistently gives their best, consistently tries to improve, consistently tries to move forward, and yet fail. And that disappointment is soul crushing, and strengthening at the same time.
I have done this and I don’t feel strengthened by it. There’s a tremendous potential in each of us that seems it isn’t designed to yield.
No matter how terrible my life gets with each day and how hopeless and dull my perspective becomes, your videos lift me up
No reason for resentment, no reason for self-pity. Thanks for that quote! I'm gonna do my best to meditate on it. I love your content!
I wanted a family so much that I thought I would have to die if I grew old enough and realized I wouldn't have it. But as I grew older being alone became easier and easier, and even desirable, so much that I don't even care about friendships. I also hated my job, I wanted to be a photographer, but strangely enough I started finding meaning in it, excelled at it and started earning more to the point of buying some photography equipment and realizing I didn't really wanted to take pictures, at least not for money. And my life kept getting better. I learned to live a minimalist life when I was poor, so now I feel like I'm living in abundance. Even now I refrain from spending money because of old habits, like I never bought a car and still use my old, small and weak motorcycle that I love because I can move using it almost for free. All I had to do was enduring long enough. I have a cousin that is a photographer and has a family, sometimes I wonder if he is something I failed to be. In a sense, yes, but he also points out that he would prefer being in my place with a steadier job, so I guess I'm doing ok.
I am 58 and I feel that I have just lived. Going through the masses with ups and downs and getting over things with outcomes. This is a great story and it equals out a lot going into my 60's hopefully ♥️
“You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” ― Sylvester Stallone, Rocky Balboa
lol
Lights out, meatball!
---- Thunderlips, as he's about to body slam rocky
Perfect quote to sum up this video.
I love how Stoicism helps us to put things in perspective by telling yourself in the morning that disappointment will come, people will be rude, and circumstances won't always go our way. Our thoughts, emotions and reactions, are what we can control. So today we choose to remain calm, and gracious to everyone who comes across our path today. No matter what happens, or what is said.
This does not convince me. Reaching out and failing to connect does not make me tougher, it just lets me suffer more, hating life, wishing for a quick death soon. This life seems just torture with some breaks of false hope. Maybe also some periods of happiness but in the end it would be better never to have lived at all.
I’m starting to feel the same honestly. Yeah I’ve grown a lot but what now. I don’t enjoy life anymore. Every time something seems to be working in my favor it’s pulled from me.
For awhile I could do the “well what did I learn” thing but that’s just starting to get old. I’m so tired of this
I feel you bro just hang in there
The thing is that is reality. It is beyond our control. The only way is to accept and be strong by being better even if your sorroundings isn t any good. It Will test Your character,mental health,and more on what your facing.
Its not nice, but its the only way to lived with that situation. You have to find new things that can cheer you as your own self, just to lived life more longer for yourself and what around you that you cared with.
Yeah, I feel the same way.
People cope so hard. Life as no meaning, why put someone through torture just because of your personal view of it? bullshit, really.
Even going in with the worst expectations, I was surely disappointed by life.
“I have lived nearly fifty years, and I have seen life as it is. Pain, misery, hunger... cruelty beyond belief. I have heard the singing from taverns and the moans from bundles of filth on the streets. I have been a soldier and seen my comrades fall in battle... or die more slowly under the lash in Africa. I have held them in my arms at the final moment. These were men who saw life as it is, yet they died despairing. No glory, no gallant last words... only their eyes filled with confusion, whimpering the question, "Why?"
I do not think they asked why they were dying, but why they had lived. When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? Perhaps to be too practical is madness. To surrender dreams - this may be madness. To seek treasure where there is only trash. Too much sanity may be madness - and maddest of all: to see life as it is, and not as it should be!”
― Dale Wasserman, Man of La Mancha
Perfect timing. Feeling very disappointed with life right now.
Don't worry majority of the world feels this. We have been born to be slaves to a few ...
Who is the one who feels disappointed? You're not this body, mind, feelings, thoughts. Identify with your true self. The one which all phenomena appears to. You're awareness itself. Don't trust me, meditate and find out for yourself.
I hear you
Why is it that you always upload at the right timing? The universe works in mysterious ways indeed. Thank you Einzelganger
It's like the universe is always 1 step ahead of you, placing things in front of you that will cheer you up at just the right moment.
@@kasparov937 Yes indeed! Wishing you a great week ahead
This is a light in a dark tunnel for more than any one of us can imagine, thanks for the video Einzel🙏🏼
When life gives you lemons... You squeeze them into green tea with ginger and cinnamon, that's my advice to you stranger.
+some honey as well
Jasmine tea helps relax the mind if to bitter add honey
Wow, Bless you.... this i call be and stay positive
Where you getting green tea?
@@themacocko6311 If that's an actual question - from my trusted tea sommelier or tea wizard as I call him :-)
What I’ve learned while struggling with adhd is that life doesn’t give a shit. It doesn’t care if you have it hard, if others don’t understand you, if you struggle doing things others find easy. And people don’t care either, not friends, nor family, nor work colleagues. In the end of the day only you can truly care. Life is hard and doesn’t give a shit so what are you going to do about it? Sit in a puddle of your own piss and whine and complain or get up, clean yourself off and conquer life? There’s no other choice.
@@Error-hc7mp yup, took me a year to realize this fact. We can only adjust ourselves to the way the world and people works, not the other way around.
Conclusion :
This world/life is a prison.
You'll be free when you die.
I don't know if there's any ressurection/life after death.
So it's true that life doesn't give a horseshit.
Life is our captor, it always does what it wants.
It only lets us fulfilled for a moment to give us the strength to take another punches.
Well, they should care. That's the problem. What good are friends and family if they don't care?
dead right, I could have chosen to give up so many times, on many areas of life, I tortured myself, constantly beat myself up but one thing I had is the constant push to just keep going, you just have to endure despite all the crap feelings that come, now I work on my own mental state constantly and imagine every possible scenario. This has lead me to a good life overall, too many people think they are perfect and pretend to be, I see right through it. You can only look after yourself and the people who rely on you in this world. I do not expect thanks or gratitude anymore. No whining ever helps, whine to yourself if you have to but nobody else, people just do not want to hear it or care, at best you are reminding them of their own thoughts so it will propel you from regardless.
Conquer life means be happy with less
It's all a matter of perspective, in the end.
We're the ones that create our own hell.
Spot on! Cultivate Right Thinking
Life is shit
Thank you for giving me some awareness on my current situation. All my life I have been confused. Why was I so depressed, so anxious and afraid? It has never made sense to me, but It is slowly starting to come to me. The disappointment. Entitlement. My past, my expectations. Living in my head, and not in reality. Accepting it... has always been hard for me so I chose ignorance. It turned me into a bitter person. I am trying to get past the trauma. I refuse to keep living in misery. In the dark. I choose compassion. I choose life. Thank you again for this video.
This happens to alot of us it's easy not to celebrate the life you were given because you focus only on what you were sold and never received
But after watching this video I have come to realise life is about what you sell or what your getting out off life that counts
I have spent 5 decades doing this very same thing.
No one cared enough to explain it to me.
"living in my head, not in reality" yep that shit hurts.
I've too been ignoring the complexities I created in my life. It resulted in all this passive stress, aggression, it kinda keeps building up within, while we choose to ignore it without thinking of consequences.
Ugh.
I learned this lesson the hard way and I can’t believe how much I’ve transformed by not requiring the world to meet my expectations. I’ve broken the generational curse.
Can you elaborate?
I feel so alone and outcast then i saw this on my notifications the universe sending me message that i must feel the pain and enjoy being alive thank you for this.
what is so wrong with freedom from fatalism and the brave new world of stupidity? I dont lose any sleep anymore.
9 ppl like your comment. That means 9 ppl love u (:
I don't always agree with your videos, but this one had meaning for me. Because, yup, life does not. I used to be so full of hope, chasing dreams, living life as I wanted. And then loss happened. Loss after loss after loss. Sometimes so quickly I couldn't take a breath before the next one. In my 30's I laughed at life and wanted to live until at least 100. Now I am 61 and wish every day NOT to live that long! If I wasn't worried about what would happen to my animals, I would be ready to leave this world today.
When he starts talking about 'a normal life' I immediately recalled a passionate conversation with an old friend. He's sense of rage at 'being lied to for most of hes life', and I couldn't disagree with him. I had felt this but hadn't catagorized it as being lied to up to this point. The ideas we're handed by parents and teachers. The simple life that's always seemed just out of reach or snatched away. Even before seeing this video I've long surrendered the idea of anything that felt like family, or a close circle of friends.
We have truly become atomized.
I'm still trying to work out what the 'new normal' is. It sometimes feels like a dystopia less appealing than some of the dystopias I saw in films growing up. Something as insideous as the destruction as the family unit.
Sometimes I play Scott Mackenzie's 'San Francisco' just to dream of the hippy girlfriend I will never meet.
Feeling nostalgic for a time I never participated in.
Same! I was lied to all this time and all of a sudden it all fell apart and now theres just ... nothing
Im confused and dissapointed
"Study and you'll be someone in life", then, in the university, as i live with other young men, I discorvered I don't know how to create friendships, how to interact with woman. I'm very cooperative and comunicative. I put things foward, but when the thing is to find a girl that likes me. I'm always left behind. All of them seem to have had all the experiences I've never had. It's so strange ... I always notice how fresh I am. And it always makes me sad. I feel I'm imature on this topics... And I simply don't know what to do. Sometimes i think all i need is a girl, bcus I had one once and it was the happiest time of my life... I just want that feeling of being mentally secure again someway. idk
Very helpful.
Life disappointed me because of how I was born in, where I went and what I did is worth nothing. I'm focusing on getting my life back on track but finding a job that I'm passionate about is the hardest thing in life. So with this video, I understood what you mean so thank you.
For too many decades, I suffered from envy over what others have but i don't, but very slowly something shifted. Instead of envy, bitterness, etc. because of what I lacked, I began to ask myself this: "So, I want something, say a house; that takes a great deal of money, which means that I must devote a great deal of time and energy to earning money, which can come with stress and uncertainty (work politics, lay-offs, etc.). But once i have the money, there are all the challenges of finding and purchasing a house, followed by ongoing maintenance, more money for insurance, repairs, etc. So i spend my life to fulfill a dream, which once i have attained it does not bring me the joy of the dream. It's best summed up by the saying, " Sometimes, we should thank God for unanswered prayers." Oh, I still have dreams, but now I rarely feel the better regret over what I lack. Remember, be careful what you ask for- you might get it!
It's not fate which kill our dreams...
It's our own decisions
Yes and No
Thank you Einzelganger for another great episode. I have Learned so much from your philosophical insights over the past 2 years. The likes of yourself and Ryan Holiday never fail to give me a different perspective.
Aspiration took me a very long way,spiritually& physically.Striving to overcome limitations of your beginnings/ancestry is worthwhile.Soon enough you may be old,obligated, or trapped by a plague!Entitlement is an attitude,resignation & embracing limitations does not have to be the alternative.Have dreams,if you are young,work to make them true if you are able.
If Einzaelganger came up with that phrase himself "when life disappoints us we don't have to disappoint life", well done thats a bloody good phrase.
Solitude is the most blissful place to be. The problem is not being an outcast but not having the resources to survive. Outcast at the bottom will suffer greatly while outcast with ample resources will thrive. poverty is no joke!
Of course poverty is no joke. There are people who have nothing and are still happy. It's about mindset and we shouldn't cling to life in this body for it is temporary anyway.
@@sentientpower Be "happy" eating air and sleeping on the street. Shocking how most people have lost the meaning of what poverty really is!
My problem is watching others succeed through dishonest and corrupt means while others who proceed honestly struggle and fail. It's how we got our "nobleman" and "upper class."
Yeah. My dad is on team Nietsche. He started kicking my soul at an early age and did al the above to me. When i showed that i could not endure it, i was found unworthy. This has made it really hard to take responsibility for bad outcomes as i am desperately trying to protect my self image.
Most children are actually right that they could achieve their dreams, if it werent for our adult systems and rules that are the disappointment. And we pretend its all so logical yet the results are mixed at the very very best.
I think when people are wronged by life, they then adopt a victim mentality and as a result, adopt a very bleak view of life.
The point of accepting the reality of life is to not make you depressed, but to make you prepared for it and still continue to do what you gotta do.
When my career corporate ended after 20 years of study and work to get there, I felt like a victim.
Until I listened to Jocko Willink, and entertained his philosophy of extreme responsibility.
After that, my life went in a better direction.
Many people no longer know what they gotta do, after years of repeated failure.
That's so true💫💫
“Isolate, catastrophize, self destruct” could be cut out on vinyl and slapped on some people I know’s wall.
Which is to go on a shooting spree?
.....I neeed redemption. Dear God deliver me. Yet I know that nobody is coming. It is only I who can save myself.
I have felt like that most of my life.
With my career mostly. It never earned me respect especially in my family. I studied several years to only find that in order to get somewhere I have to keep studying more and more and even then still being belittled by a few people. Also disappointing how many people with no school end up doing the same job as you.
I agree, that makes you bitter, angry (even if passive aggressive), and yes self destructive in behaviors and in thoughts, insecurities. I used drugs, drank and lived promiscuously to lessen the pain without fully seeing how I was hurting others as well. As of late I feel I ruined my life because of something very serious that happened to me, it was my fault. Sometimes you feel like something is owed to you, but it's not. I have come to terms with it but that doesn't make it easier. All I can tell you is that sometimes following someone else's dreams (like pursuing a career), might mean not paying attention to your own dreams. I have certain mixed feelings about it but in the end I have come to understand that life in general isn't fair. It's just that some people are able to endure more. Some aren't. As crappy as it all might be, there are things in life worth living for, there are still dreams to pursue. I have to constantly remind myself that one of my favorite books (Robinson Crusoe), was written by Daniel Defoe when he was 59 yrs of age. We're not all going to make it big like that, or maybe we could. But I think that it's better to just focus on cruising around in a figure of speech. Paradoxically what happened to me as terrible as it might be has shown me how fast and how carelessly I've lived my life. For example I always said I wouldn't get married. Personally I did want to get married, even had names for my "future children", but lied about it because I felt vulnerable to people, they take advantage of what you tell them. It's hard to trust people in general. I learned it and I'm relearning this. I've been that person too many times, Why even lie?
Last thing, it is better a live dog than a dead lion so just live. Some believe they'll come back (reincarnation), but nobody really knows about that so just live and give it your best shot.
God bless you!
The title is now my life moto! :)
I'm at the verge of ending it all, though I don't want to hurt others unlike what Elliott did. I feel as if I was just born to pay the bills. In short, yes, I feel like my life disappoints. I feel like I can't enjoy life because I need to earn money for my family.
I can't even focus on my love life because my parents don't have a job. Honestly, I'm just so exhausted. I just want to sleep forever. After all of the sacrifices, stressful moments, and days that I can't stop crying, what's the lesson of this all? After I die, I will not even be able to touch the money that I made. I just don't know what the point of living is.
I think we're all just being played at, you know. Some are just really lucky than others.
Please, I love you...
I hope you are in a better place now, but if not, get yourself a live in job- the first of many for you I hope- and go no contact with this family that is leeching off you.
...a year or so later, I hope you're in a better place now. 🩷
Hi mia, im in the same situation as you, i hope youre in a better place, if u see this reply i hope you answer to it
That's brilliant. And so succinct. I watched the Olympics and Paralympics and got so annoyed every time a winning medalist said, 'You too can achieve your dreams.' What a pile of crap. I'm a novelist. I've had so many disappointments over many years. Takes a year to write a book. You put your heart and soul into it, send it out, only to hear nothing back. Tell me that I didn't work hard enough. (I self published some of them. Excellent reviews but few readers. That's life). Great video. Trying to adopt this philosophy though after a lifetime of Western indoctrination is another matter.
I've been so unhappy with my situation lately. I joined reddit recently and reading other peoples problems made me thankful for my own problems. It did help.
I've been trying to focus on what I do have not what I don't have. I have love of my family, a home, a vehicle, food and water and breath in my body. At least that's where I am at right now. In a couple hours I could be feeling something else but I want to hang onto this moment.
I am an outsider looking into myself
out side to the World of other selves living.
I have never wanted to be bitterly heartless and destroy for revenge, never deliberately doing harm.
However this doesn't mean I will receive the same respect in life.
Some will bring me down if they can.
I lived a life of no entitlement and low expectations and for year or two I had the same dream. In my dream I was suposed to live In an old and ruined house. I was strugling with this dream untill one night I asked what does it mean. The message I heard was " don't settle for less". Since then I try to improve my life and the lifes of others. Now when it comes to the others i usually have success of helping them. But when it comes to me, I rearlly have success, unless someone heples me or at least encourage me. When I ask for help on the other hand, I receave none, only when I deside to give up people try to help me. And I think this state of sircumstances is totally unfair.
If society disappoints, disappoint society and then go on with your life happily
"The mind is a universe. It can make heaven of hell. And hell of heaven."
i am satisfied with my life but i found the most important thing in life is family. i lost my family and it has not been the same.
"Let’s suppose that you were able every night, to dream any dream you wanted to dream. And that you could for example have the power within one night to dream seventy five years of time.
Or any length time you wanted to have.
And you would naturally, as you began on this adventure of dreams, you would fulfill all your wishes. You would have every kind of pleasure.
And after several nights of seventy five years of total pleasure each
you would say “Well that was pretty great!”
“But now let’s - let’s have a surprise.”
“Let’s have a dream which isn’t under control”.
Where something is going to happen to me, but I don’t what it’s going to be”.
And you would dig that and come out of that you’d say “Wow that was a close shave wasn’t it?”
Then you would get more and more adventurous and you would make further and further gambles to what you would dream.
Finally you would dream where you are now.
You would dream the dream of living the life that actually living today."
Alan W. Watts
Ik this wasn't your quote but I'm stealing it for Instagram people need to see it.
And quote 👻
Actually, the question is, why I was ever born? Why?
@@theraf2134 Do you mean on a conscious/soul level? As in, why am I born in the body that I am and control and use it the way I do? Why is the brain I operate on the one that was born on a certain day, to a certain mother in a certain city, country?
Is that the question you're asking?
quite a boring and awful dream then
This video popped up after I watched some videos about gratitude journaling. I definitely feel some of the hopelessness and absurdity of life as mentioned in this video, as many of you probably do. However, the gratitude journaling is starting to make me feel a little bit better about things, despite how silly it sometimes may feel when I begin the process of writing things I'm grateful for and how those things make me feel.
Be grateful for the things we take for granted, like your next in breath and to wake up after deep sleep.
Sounds like a good practice. I've heard about it.
Whilst troubles can teach us and help us learn resilience and strength, they are useless without first gaining some self-awareness.
Without the ability to look long and hard at oneself we can learn nothing of value, ever. Our ego will always be trying to keep us safe by making up its stories about everything that happens....We'll never be able to either take responsibility, nor see our real worth and care for ourselves properly.
One proverb I absolutely can't stand is WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER. Whether it's growing up in a broken home, being bullied constantly in school, having your identity stolen, getting injured in an accident, losing a loved one, or getting fired from a job, what doesn't kill you leaves you hurt, bitter, betrayed, paranoid, withdrawn and suspicious of others. It LEAVES YOU DAMAGED...FOR LIFE.
So what? Just give up? If this life is trash might as well have fun and enjoy it.
If you grow up in an abusive home AND work through it you can learn to easily see through the masks people put on. Well, but to be fair, even that is a blessed with suck as you realize how phoney or dumb many people are. And some people are genuinely nice and you just hurt them through your geometric screaming. Partly I think you are right, but I think there's some merit to the quote. You can learn from anything.
That said, I simply have to ask: Did someone steal your identity? Why is something so unlikely in that list? If it happened, well, at least it makes for a great party story.
People who tend to leave by quotes are dumb. I can make one and quote its made by someone great. People will just believe it, but u u know the truth, u have experienced life at a tougher level than me and many others. I do believe u are stronger than me since some small shit could hurt me but not u. I am a Muslim and we believe those who are highly tested and still not lose faith and path have better things waiting for him or her in the life after death. We believe God doesn't test one with more than he or she could bear. You are definitely stronger Pamela. I don't know how u feel or how much u been through but I hope things go well for u. May Allah guide all of us
I realized some truths about myself while watching this video. While I don't necessarily think I deserve anything, my expectations for life were definitely more than I could achieve. And what's more, I've been working all my life towards them without proper result. Realizing this is soul crushing. Makes me want to give up Now all I need to do is get past it. Somehow.
I think you misunderstood the video, it is not about your potential in relation to what you achieve, it is about accepting the outcome, you should watch his other videos on taoism and sucg
This hurt so much to hear and how familiar this feel. I was constantly crying before watching this since I am a delusional who can't get out of his fantasy. Now I'm just feel empty.
I vibe with this completely word for word.Thank you for creating such amazing content. The thinkers of the past live through you. It is so heartening to realize that so many kindred souls exist. Our individuality and actions as a person after having passed through all this will be our contribution to the story of life on earth. As you rightly quoted Nietzsche, we might see many amazing things come out of this age as more people re-center and find a more practical approach to life. Wishing that you grow in wisdom and continue to spread these ideas. Let the experiments unfold...
I find this philosophical pessimism oddly comforting. Acknowledging the disappointments & suffering is life is a huge part in accepting what we can not change, and an invitation to compassion for self and others.
This is why we're all obsessed with bad news, so that secretly we can comfort ourselves watching those who are suffering more than us, due to natural disasters, wars and sickness.
It's sad but I think that's the case.
Or maybe our day to day lives are rather dull and shallow and meaningless in comparison to real life tragedy and the raw emotions that those evoke. Like a cutter who draws blood just to feel something. Or. It's easy to feel compassion and empathy when witnessing those situations, and that's something we want to feel day-to-day, but the rigmarole doesn't really allow for that with all the separation it creates.
@@agathafry4233 it could be what you say.
I don't know where you live but here in the USA we're living a crisis of human values and empathy is lacking almost everywhere, yesterday for example (like almost every day) there was a shooting in a school in my hometown and almost everybody seems to be in denial about the rampant violence, that frustrates me greatly.
Greetings from NC.
Compassion and gratitude are very important positives to engage with daily. We need to live as part of a whole. Togetherness is a powerful antidote to the ailments of the individualised, stand alone human condition of the current era.
That Nietzsche quote is savage...
“To those human beings who are of any concern to me I wish suffering, desolation, sickness, ill-treatment, indignities-I wish that they should not remain unfamiliar with profound self-contempt, the torture of self-mistrust, the wretchedness of the vanquished: I have no pity for them, because I wish them the only thing that can prove today whether one is worth anything or not-that one endures.”
he had a couple good ideas
Yikes
@@minnesoso but only a couple.
This one was NOT one of them.
Maaan this video hit hard.... soo much truth about the disappointment of life.
It's true that I'm generally happy when I'm doing my own thing but as I compare myself to someone else (same age) I feel I have underachieved.
I'm talking about what happens subconsciously, like when your browsing social media. Telling yourself "not to compare" is pointless in this regard.
I know people who are unfortunate AF but they don't give up. And I know people who are fortunate AF but easily give up (me included).
I've always been an outcast and even before I even knew what philosophy meant I understood a lot these philosophers of history speak of. It always gives me chills.
You have seen that the universe is at root a magical illusion and a fabulous game, and that there is no separate "you" to get something out of it, as if life were a bank to be robbed. The only real "you" is the one that comes and goes, manifests and withdraws itself eternally in and as every conscious being. For "you" is the universe looking at itself from billions of points of view, points that come and go so that the vision is forever new.
Alan Watts
Crazy how knowing what we are doesn’t make a difference when compared to our willpower
@@erickzamora921 knowledge of the ultimate truth should affect willpower. If it doesn't, the wisdom hasn't been understood.
Thanks!! I really love this channel ❤
When through some terrible emotions recently, even seriously contemplated suicide for the first time in my life.
I persevere, and kept moving though, and this video is further encouragement.
It's a good thing to have a voice of reason even if it comes from a stranger on youtube.
Thank you.
Keep going mate, went thru terrible emotions too last 3 months and whole life fliped against me, but i dont think about suicide because there is higher meaning behind this dark time, embrace it and even if you end up alone as me, dont give up. There is higher meaning behind this!
@@nikolagrubisa1429 There is no higher meaning to suffering or dark times, that's what people like to tell themselves to not feel like shit.
The truth is that the universe doesn't give a fuck about our suffering or our happiness.
I use these videos for my personal therapy sessions and they work for me. I don't struggle with severe mental illnesses and haven't felt the need to search for the help of a therapist, but all these insights and perspectives this channel provides have helped me a lot in building a much healthier and self-empowering mindset during the past couple months.
Amazing video, I really needed this today after a series of disappointing events
Frustrating feelings can disrupt how we perceive life.
To all my dear fellow sufferers, know that u r not alone and that many of us r going through a lot. Regain ur strength and fight. Make sure u smile and greet death and not regret it. And work for it, work for who u r meant to be :)
Agreed. Our best self is the one that can endure and let himself be. Not this perfect idealized version of our past
For me, the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling depressed is the notion of possibility. When I’m feeling great, there aren’t enough hours in the day to do all the amazing things there are to do and to learn all the amazing things there are to learn. When I’m feeling down, there’s only one choice - to sleep until the day can end so I can get it over with. Infinite choices or one choice. Limitless possibility or trapped in a prison. The hard part is letting yourself out of that prison.
This video was really inspiring to me, i always had a good life and i'm very grateful for it but sometimes i'm still quite depressed because it seems to me that everything was givven to me without efforts or merits. I always had since childhood many ambitions and i still have some of them right now but i was never able to realize them and this often makes me feel like a failure, especially because i have many friends who seems to be what i always wanted to be.
Stop comparing yourself to others & learn to love yourself as you are. You're already perfect, you just don't see it.
I am NEVER disappointed in Einzelganger videos!
There is no such thing as ‘normal’. ‘Normal’ is a label placed by ‘society’. There is no ‘society’ either. That is also a label. What there IS: a group of people throughout the world, living their lives, and thinking they have to fit some mold to be successful. All are comparing themselves to everyone else, instead of paying attention to looking after themselves. By “looking after themselves”, I am not implying that this means to be uncaring of others, etc. What I am saying is, people need to stay in their own lane, mind their own business, live a life that makes them happy, and stop comparing themselves to others. Success is what you make it to be, not what others tell you it should be. We are not victims of life, but beneficiaries to it.
I was disappointed by life. Once. When innocence finally matured. When I see the world, curtains raised. I got over it.. I think. I keep my expectations low, and I always expect a stroke of bad luck around the corner. What ends up happening now, is numbness. And indifference... Something bad happens, "Why wouldn't it?". Try harder, "Meh, I don't care enough. I mean, why? Right?"
So to summarize:
1)keep expectations low so you will be pleasantly surprised
2)don't hold on to negative stuff such as people, memories, emotions, etc
3)have the courage to explore and go out of your comfort zone.
This is why i don't really have a dream. Instead, I call them a goal. A dream sounds like a destination in where you'll get extremely disappointed if you can't reach it. While a goal tells you to keep striving for it no matter the amount of failures ahead. Because as a quote I've seen on a book once said, "If you think it's about getting to the top of the mountain, you're dead wrong. It's about enjoying the hike."
I guess everyone has to find his own meaning in life, figuring out what is really important to yourself independent of the expectations of others, independent of others in general and independent of the pressures expected normal. When you figured out what it is, go in this direction. As soon as you depend on somebody else or something specific to happen it can be disappointing, frustrating and harsh. You can not avoid situation where you depend on others but you might improve your mindset when you face these situations over time. Be greatful what life gives you and if it's lemons, well, I like lemons! Totally fine with it. If it's not lemons, I am curious about what it is and if I can learn something new.
Einzelganger, I’m applauding your learnings and observations on life’s devastating, yet impersonal obstacles and the way to turn poison into medicine, as we do with snake venom.
I applaud, likewise, the research team and your writer(s).
Compassion for ourselves and all others is the only path capable of healing our humanity.
Bravo! For your contributions!
great, now i gotta add *life* to the list of people i disappoint.
BRAVO! 👋
“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing." - Seneca
“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” - Epictetus
If we can acknowledge & apply this wisdom, then we should never fall prey to the disappointments of life.
I really appreciate this very insightful & powerful video, well done sir!
We need more porches. I remember when very young in the 60s, we'd go to relatives' homes and spend hours out on the porch. It's what you did, watching cars go by, chatting, pickup stix, or contemplating.
It really depends on how life as unfolded, what was taken away, what was denied
Or how much of it you realise is pointless.
Always keep your expectations in check, otherwise you'll be disappointed.
Always keep your wants in check, otherwise you'll be dissatisfied.