34:34 LOL absolutely adorable when she is looking for emotional reciprocation/affirmation after she complimented him for helping her through painful times. His Fe blind was a little slow picking that up as she was gently nudging him repeatedly.
You two are adorable. "We love each other in part because we both are fascinated with each other's PASSION for ideas!" I predict years of mutual happiness.
My girlfriend is an INFJ and I am an INTJ. We are both older and the combination works quite well. I find her very intelligent and the conversations are extremely stimulating. She comes at most topics with a very feeling type of attitude. I am way more logical but the key to our relationship is that we are both very good at seeing things from multiple perspectives. We are both very good listeners. I have yet to find another person who understands things so quickly and she always looks at the societal impact. She likes how I quickly solve problems. We both think in patterns and can easily see the big picture. It is a killer combination.
Ni at its finest ❤ never met an INTJ that I know of but I'm scared 😅 heard they're really cold and lack empathy but I'd like an interaction to see how our Ni works together
@@OzmaOfOzzit's Ni on steroids😁 actually, feels very intense. Emotions can go from 0 to 100 in a couple of seconds. But also it feels nice to practice your dom function on an equal level, like a mental hourse race between equals, which you both deeply enjoy. Conflicts though is a problem. This relationships don't work without established communication. It pretty much has a potential of becoming a pile of misunderstandings and misconceptions pretty easily at the beginning. So, communication, conflict resolution and negotiation skills are a must! But it's just delightful to see when the relationships are established.
As an INTJ myself I have often wondered what this relationship would look like. So healthy in how you approach your differences. You both are such positive and healthy role models for this dynamic. You are both beautiful - Gods blessings.
You are both right and this is what intj and infj do so well together. I'm entj so I know everything let's just clear that up real fast. Your visions as infj are like the minority report oracles where these are possibilities and highly likely gut analyses that are so fast only an infj would understand. Keep it on a sticky note and put it somewhere you want to keep record of your connections. Then I like to call the intj the finisher. The intj will come in and clean up all false positives and all loose ends, like sloppy science claims and methods and bad data. A sloppy claim doesn't mean wrong it means you have to look deeper. Lean in and also utilize your great team of two you have. You both have gifts. I mean you have just been gifted such a brilliant team if you understand each other and can make the relationship hum like a perfect sentient computer. God bless your lovely marriage in Jesus name. May all who want this kind of teamwork find it.
The agreeableness, as a INFJ i could relate to that so hard. I have also tried to lower my agreeableness and "label myself selfish" to learn to be less agreeable, be less empathetic and not give so much to other people and burning myself out, learning to prioritize myself first more. Learning to say no.
This was a really tough one for me to tackle, and I still go wrong with it sometimes. But what really helped me, especially with women, was to be radically politically incorrect. To the point of rudeness/contrariness even. Ofcourse with a big smile to make it more palatable. I've very often seen people drop their jaw in amazement thinking they can't believe the thing I just said. The beauty of it is, you can speak the unvarnished truth at the same time. People (women) do get the wrong impression sometimes, thinking you are a much bigger jerk than you actually are. That comes with its own set of problems, but mostly of the luxury kind. Most women are content that their jerk turns out to be kind and warmhearted. And the ones who don't have issues anyway and will come to discard you after the appropriate amount of fun. It's a win-win either way.
I'm an infj with an intj husband, married for decades. Only 2 or 3 years ago did I learn about Myers Brigg, and it has explained so much about our personalities and our dynamic. What you've found out in your relationship really resonates, and I really 'got' all that you were talking about. After all these years my husband has learned that emotions really are a 'thing' that is well to accept that it just is . . even though it doesn't affect his fi function. And at the same time I've learned to not be so pulled into situations by my fe compulsions of caring too much about others, because I can see his fi in action and learn from that. Anyway I think you two are really onto something😉
I can't believe this, I'm in heaven 😂😂😂 I wanted this video to happen so bad 😂 I think the biggest problem in an intj infj relationship is communication.
INTJ-A male here. I played your video because of recent interest about INTJ-INFJ relationships. I know an INFJ woman from years, we have history and recently accepted the fact that (after long periods of emotional evaluation and data gathering) I love her. "Evaluation" and "data gathering" seems apathetic words in this context but they are just concepts to describe what I been doing for a long time: watching and listening to understand the pattern, the singularity that makes her unique. I saw the video until the minute 6:24 when "percentages" started to be pronounced and comparisons between them started to be made, because only one word popped up in my mind when I heard them: fear. I understand the rigor to systematize and provide evidence, but the need to carefully measure everything in an attempt to get control over relationships and love "compatibility" seems to me as fear to uncertainty. You'll never be 100% sure about nothing, so you need to accept that always a degree of uncertainty will exists in everything. In relationships is the same; you need to trust and accept the part that is uncertain void. Being around my INFJ female removes any drop of fear on me, which is the reason I prefer to honor love as acceptance and be resilient to any darkness that could manifest from the uncertainty present in human interactions. If you want to love, don't be afraid.
Katie, that was a fantastic explanation for why you might bring something up after a conflict has been “resolved” using the functions. I’m an infj and experience this but have never heard it articulated in such a clear and insightful way. Helps me understand myself better. Thank you.
Im an INFJ responding to ur hypothetical question :) . I feel like the "vision" is a gift you can't really develop over time, you just sort of have it or you dont. For the logic part, I do think it can be strengthened with effort and practice. I also think that you are right about being around different types. It strengthens our skills and helps us know when to pull them out, because we learn by watching what they do best lol. In the INTJ's case, being around them is a reminder to stick to the damn facts on the paper. ESFPs remind us to chill the hell out and choose happiness lol. Sometimes I feel like a human sponge, just soaking up things other ppl are doing.. but it definitely helps me learn + grow
I’m an INFJ and my bf is an INTJ. I’ve noticed that my Fe allows me to play with my Ni, knowing I can see patterns with the human condition, allowing my brain to sense that something is wrong and knowing that there is something wrong gives me comfort with sitting with the uncomfortableness. My bf can sense that something isn’t right but doesn’t know what it is because it’s not logical, so he is left with feeling uncomfortable and not knowing why which can be unsettling and then likely reflects that the uncomfortableness is probably his fault, problem, or in his head and can’t sit with the uncomfortableness. I see it as outside of myself (Fe), and he likely sees it inside of himself (Fi). I just saw that pattern with Ni, Fe vs Ni, Te. My observation is he feels uncomfortable but doesn’t know where it is coming from, so he identifies that it’s something to do with him. I feel the uncomfortableness and it’s from without myself.
Nice to see a couple speak of love and understanding. Nowadays so many people forget the understanding part and just go off on each other. Understanding the other is key in any relationship especially the most valuable ones.
INTJs also see the world that could/should be, but our Te function still demands that we prioritize the truth of the world first before our ideals cloud our vision.
Te versus Ti is likely to be a challenge, but knowing that you could make it a strength by showing each other your different perspectives. Te gives the INFJ a better grasp on reality, Ti gives the INTJ a better awareness of how the world is made. Ti deconstructs to build up again. MBTI is a great tool to resolve misunderstandings and potential conflict. It's great you 2 can do that. I wish you the best, you look like nice people. Glad to see you back on YT Katie Marie. You are very beautiful. I suspect there is great power in your combination of personality types.
Dear Katie and Will, Thank you for your inspirational and interesting video! It is beautiful to watch the two of you together. I am 51 and I wished that I was as mature in my twenties as you are now already at such a young age. I love that the thing that brought you together is that you like to analyse everything to death 😉. I am an INFJ and I have loved an INTJ for a long long time. We are no longer together now. It was impossible for me to “read” him, he was like a brick wall. We were never really able to communicate the important stuff in our relationship, as in where the relationship was going, our needs etc …. causing the relationship to fail.
To answer your question about whether or not you should lean into just the intuitive part or balance it out with the Ti. My option, as a scientist and an INTJ, and someone who absolutely ADMIRES INFJ creativity! I think you should MOSTLY do your intuition of course because you're an INFJ but you gotta get that Ti in there. You will benefit more from developing your Ti to support your intuitive leaps. You HAVE Ti and you can do it!! And you will feel SO MUCH BETTER about your work if you have that aspect to it. I had to do this with my Fi and my life is so much more RICH because I did that. Your life will be so much more rich if you develop your Ti. I'm not saying you should make Ti equal to your Ni (that's not possible) but do respect the Ti and give it it's due diligence. You will respect yourself and your work more in the long run.
I just found your channel and am totally subscribing! I'm a 55-year old female INTJ and I had an INFJ for a mother so I know the INTJ/INFJ dynamic well. We LOVED having the "Why?" conversations. There was NEVER too many "Whys?". Plus I am very knowledgeable on the MBTI and cognitive functions. Will, you NEED to take some time to learn the cognitive functions. I think you'll REALLY REALLY benefit from it and it will give you and Katie a TON of interesting things to talk about as your understanding progresses. It goes super deep and complex so it's perfect for us Ni doms. Also, I want to thank you Katie for this video. My sweet, neurotic, beautiful INFJ mother passed away 10 years ago, before I knew much about MBTI and it kills me that I didn't understand our dynamic better. We were so close (due to our dominant Ni and inferior Se) but the Thinking/Feeling clash was an issue sometimes. We didn't know how to get past it, especially as I got older and started developing my Te in college (I also have 2 science degrees). Katie, another thing that makes you ruminate I think is not just your Fe but also maybe your 3rd slot Ti. I think INFJs can get into the Ni/Ti loop where you analyze over and over again and can get into a negative space that's hard to get out of because you think you're correct in your analysis, even when you're off down a rabbit hole. And loved ones can't pull you out because you think you know more than them all (sometimes you do but not always). So in those moments, try to let Will bring you out and trust him. It was sad seeing my Mom go through that and I couldn't bring her out in those times. I think she went into a depression later in life. INFJs can feel really alone and different so cut yourself some slack. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're ADORABLE! I'm so glad to hear that you're learning to be more assertive and to put yourself first more. That's so important. I know it's hard. We INTJs struggle with wanting to fix everything with our Te (just like you struggle with your Fe - both in the 2nd slot - the teaching/good parent function). Just being aware of that helps. Also, with the INFJ 3rd slot relief function (also called child/play function), it is just FUN! We all like to play with our 3rd slot functions and for you Katie, that is Ti, which means you enjoy the deep analysis. It's not a bad thing unless you get int that negative Ni/Ti loop I mentioned before. But you should be proud of your Ti. My Mom was brilliant in my eyes because of the way her functions came together, Ti analytical side meshed in such great balance wit her Fe. Healthy INFJs are beautiful, amazing people. Will, I'm a lesbian and was married to an INFP female for 8 years (they are very similar to INFJs in that they embrace emotions, although for them it's Dominant and it's Introverted feeling so they are super intense on the inside - even embracing and loving their negative emotions because they have mastered them and are not afraid of them like so many of the rest of us can be - oohhhhhh I LOVE that about INFPs!! and to some extent INFJs but their emotional intensity is different - but I digress) and then was in another relationship with an INFP for 12 years (it's still kinda going on - that's another whole story) so my point is that I have experience with intuitive feeler women and from one INTJ to another, you have GOT to become more sensitive. You're going to really have to learn how to eat crow. It sounds like you're already realizing this but it's easier said than done. You CAN do it. You can do it because you are an introverted feeler which means you do feel things deeply. You just need to put some attention on that function more often so you get better at it and will be able to relate to feelers better. And you've GOT to just shut up and listen and stop saying "Right" all the time. She doesn't need you to tell her she's right (she knows she is). It comes off as insecure/arrogant. I am SO GRATEFUL to my ex-INFP wife (we're still friends today - 14 years after our divorce) for being the one who finally got it through my thick skull how to be more sensitive to feelers. It changed my life. Poor thing, she worked SOOOO hard trying to teach me and be understanding of me with that and I was just like you, constantly coming at it from a Te perspective. She had faith in me and it paid off. You've GOT to start tapping into your 3rd slot function (introverted feeling) more so you can be more understanding and compassionate. INTJs CAN do Fe if we put in the effort. The quality of your life and relationships will double/triple. It will take years to get there so please start now. Tap into your heart and soul and put your intellect aside sometimes (like try it once per day) and just be tender and allow those vulnerable moments. I know it's SO HARD. It feels so awkward, but meditation helps. Anyway, I know I'm giving advice you didn't ask for but hey, it's TH-cam comments so you may not even see it. Maybe it will help some INTJ/INFJ couple out there. Y'all are precious and it gives me hope because I've always loved INFJs and thought I'd like to be in another relationship with an INFJ (my first girlfriend I met in college was an INFJ as well - but she turned out to be Borderline so my assertiveness triggered her fear of abandonment too much so it didn't last). I loved sooooo many things about her and have always been interested in another INFJ/INTJ relationship. But I was concerned about the Feeling/Thinking clash. Y'all give me hope. It's pretty obvious you've got what it takes as a couple to make it through the tough times. Love and HUGS to you both!! I'm so glad I found your channel!
One can’t rely on studies for scientific truth when the system favors perverse incentives. Katie’s intuition is necessary to see beyond what we’re allowed to believe is true based on who funds research.
Being an INTJ myself, I was hoping he will fall behind in agreeableness, but he exceeds my expectation...😁😁.. Kudos, brother.. We follow our rules & ideals & not deviating even an inch from that... 🤣🤣🤣... Jokes aside.. This is so relatable... I do things being in my relationship, that I would otherwise never consider to waste time in even thinking.. P.s :- After typing the last line, I realized why my/our agreeableness is so low... 😅😅... If I think something is wrong or not worth the time or I won't be able to do it right now, then no one can convince me otherwise, regrettably, even if they are right..
Welcome back Katie! I loved hearing this conversation. I’m an INFJ married to an ISTP and find it helpful to hear you both talk about your differences and how you work through conflict. Can very much relate and I like the positive framing you have towards conflict
Side note (my previous comment was so long I am putting this on a separate comment): It's been said that INTJs are hard on the outside and soft on the inside while INFJs are hard on the inside and soft on the outside. I do think this is true for INTJs (I'm an INTJ) and it seems it was true with my INFJ mother. HOWEVER, INFJs can also be super tender and sensitive on the inside too so they're not all hard on the inside, maybe just sometimes when they get into their Ti relief function. 🥰 Also, another sidetone, y'all made me think of this when you talked about escaping and doing nothing. Ni doms are super low on energy often and we are constantly managing our energy. I'll find myself sitting in my car before I go into a store to gather up the energy before going in, for example. Or I'll save some of my chores for later in the day to preserve my energy throughout the day, when I'm feeling drained. And I definitely don't do much on Saturday's but just chill, read, eat, sleep, etc. It's not until Sunday's that I start to get enough energy to even begin to think about doing chores/projects and even then, I am even more likely to WANT to do that stuff if I've had even more days off. Two days on the weekend is just barely enough to deal with the week. But anyway, yeah, that's normal for Ni doms. Don't let the rest of the world make you feel lazy. It's just how we are. It's good for us to TRY to be more active sometimes (also this is due to our inferior Se) but don't beat yourself up about it.
My husband is an INTJ with a PhD, and his name is Will too! lol. And I'm an INFJ studying to become a therapist. How funny! Gonna sit down and watch this with my husband, and see how it can guide us with our conflicts. I didn't watch all of it yet, but I realized 15 minutes in that it would be fun and helpful to watch with my husband. I haven't found much use in the Big Five yet, but you guys went through it in a really helpful way. I really struggle with what looks like a lack of empathy from him sometimes, but I think you guys explained really well, and in a way where I can maybe feel less abandoned or disregarded. Still chewing on that one lol. Thanks for making this video! Such a cute couple!
I really resonate with being so “zoomed out”. I often miss small details (or maybe subconsciously ignore them). Ni is constantly wanting to jump to a conclusion based on all of the known data. Te from the INTJ kind of balances that out from the scientific research perspective. But with Ti in our child function slot, us INFJ’s are more playful with those big leaps in making connections at times. I think it can hamper us in some areas of life. I think that is why many work environments don’t suit INFJ’s. But our ability to be thinking big picture is so valuable in many arenas of life, some of which you allude, to as a counselor. I think MBTI’s best use for most people is to gain an awareness of your strengths and weaknesses. Then work on your weaknesses, and lean into your strengths, and put yourself into situations where those strengths are useful and appreciated
Yayyy welcome back👏 Possible request for a how we met/got into a relationship story time? Also other possible request for how you became a therapist and your honest opinions and experience with it? Is being drained and having empathy fatigue a big challenge? Do you think you would ever enjoy having a job like your partner? Okay enough questions 😅 If you ever have the desire or energy for making these videos, thank you ☺️
I love this video. I've been very sheltered in life. As a 43 year old male INFJ i finally have time to finally self reflect life. These video by far help me to understand myself. I've always been obsessed with other peoples thoughts. I find myself constantly curious about the person next to me. I feel like if I were to have been educated more on BAD personality types I would've been able to avoid my narcissisticly abused history I've unfortunately had to endure. It's only fed my thirst for more knowlege on personality disorders. Anyhow, I'll shut up now. 😅
love this video...fellow INTJ here who cares about your health. Teflon pans are not safe regardless of if you scratch them or not. You can switch to stainless or cast iron, which will lessen the toxin load in your body. Its easy to adjust your cooking habits and heat your pan differently to prevent food from sticking :)
You guys make me think of a story by the Victorian author George MacDonald The Romance of Photogen and Nycteris or also called The Day Boy and the Night Girl. They truly needed each other but they had to humble themselves and each venture into territory that was terrifying to them. Here is a quote from the end where Photogen says “if ever two people couldn’t do the one without the other, those two are Nycteris and I. She has got to teach me to be a brave man in the dark, and I have got to look after her until she can bear the heat of the sun, and he helps her to see instead of blinding her.” Men like Einstein and Solzhenitsyn stressed the importance of fairy tales because sometimes only they can communicate truths that are beyond words. Einstein believed that the logical mind was meant to be servant of the intuitive mind and yet we had gotten them reversed and wrongly placed the logical mind in a place of superiority. Keep fighting for what you’ve got.
"I believe if there's a God, it wouldn't be inside you, or me, but in this space in between [us]. If there's any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed... but who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt." -- Céline, in Vienna, in the brilliant film, "Before Sunrise" That's why you two are sycceeding.
See, Katie, what you did with the sulfur/glyphosate thing is what we INTJs do all day long every day. We notice and investigate patterns in the world (from a high-level perspective) that are systems/things, non-human-values based (as opposed to you INFJs who do it with human interactions/values). That's why we're good with systems and science. A good scientist MUST be able to make intuitive leaps to create their hypotheses and then design experiments to test those hunches. INTJs are fantastic scientists because we are so natural at this. You did it too but for you it was kinda thrilling because you did it in the world of systems/things, our INTJ domain, vs the feeling world in which you normally dwell. You crossed over into our intuitive domain and applied your intuition there. WELL DONE!! 🙂 THAT can give you some insight into how our minds work. I have no doubt that one day, Will will do this with feelings/values and you will be like, yes, I do this all day long, but he will then be able to see it from your perspective.
It is truly rare to find an INFJ with an INTJ. With the abundance of INTJ mistypes (cough, cough, Lijo) in social media. It is refreshing to see obvious clear cases of real INTJs and INFJs. You have a sub. Take care!
Sure.@@Hyumanity Some years ago on reddit someone uncovered old profiles and videos of lijo under a different brand, in which she was doing gymnastical fire-ball dancing in the beach, and they also showed a video of one of her vlogs of another brand in which she displayed very sensorial and unorganized attitudes. The reaction of her was trying to bury all the evidence, but you can still find some with searching "Lijo not INTJ" on various social media. She is not the only one though, most self proclaimed INTJ youtubers seem to be mistypes. I only follow a couple of mbti-based youtubers due to this ranmpant problem with mistyping oneself.
i’ve been binging your videos for a week because i feel so seen and understood from an infj perspective such as yours, and your videos have just brought me a lot of comfort and a sense of clarity. with that being said, i cant comprehend how people in this comment section can be so superficial & shallow to only care about how they perceive the mbti system and what it looks to them. i think if every intj / infj looked & acted the same as others, it would be a boring world, which isn’t the case. so um i guess what i’m trying to say is that all comments about ‘he is this’ ‘she is that’ are STUPID. anyway, if you ever happen to be reading this, i hope you’re doing well & understanding yourself to a deeper level & trying to be more self-compassionate and i hope that you just keep in mind that people on the internet are just a bunch of incels who want to feel different & unique and need some sort of validation and individualization to overcompensate for their lack of self-esteem. anyway, happy friday .
You guys are soooooooo cute!!! 💛💛💛💛 I love you both! Thank you for taking us on this journey with you and being vulnerable! Also Katie, you look stunning!!!
I think you two are such a great example of this relationship on this platform and your types are both considered so rare that I already see this as an invaluable and precious resource to have for everyone so thank you for this! I'll definitely give someone the link to your videos if they want to know what this relationship between two Introverted Intuition dominant users looks like. Having the same type as you, I perfectly understand your philosophical dilemma at the end cause I have the exact same one. I guess I took the route of developing my Introverted Thinking majorly because it helped my ideas to be more easily understood and acknowledged by others, which was definitely something extremely valuable in my daily life and for work. But despite that, I can't help but think that I probably went this way because society values logical consistency so it made things easier for me. And maybe it drags down my visionary potential. The problem with such visions is that it's necessary but nobody, not even yourself can tell if you're right. But it's a risk we should never stop taking anyway and it usually looks like everyone is against you because they want logical consistency at all costs. So I think nowadays we give too much credit to the need for logical consistency, making us stagnate more than we should. Of course risks are always scary but the future will always be uncertain. All of this just to say at the end of the day you have to make your own choice and nobody I think will have a definitive answer to this question but one thing I know is balance is always key so maybe try your best to stay loyal to these both aspects of yourself and to take the best from both. I feel like it's always hard to be us cause it almost feels like our personal problems are such deep philosophical dilemmas that nobody could really give an answer to it. But if you need more advice, try to find an ISTP in your life and talk to them someday. They're not very talkative and Sensors but they're the only other type besides us who share these two same cognitive functions of Ni and Ti that high except it's flipped so they have Introverted Thinking first then Introverted Intuition. They'll probably have some keys of comprehension for you if you can make them open up. The relationship in your couple may be hard sometimes because according to MBTI, the function the two of you use constantly and consciously (the 2nd one, the tool function), is supposed to be the blind spot of each other if we take the Shadow functions/your alter ego into account. So this is an aspect you hardly see if not at all. Your alter ego would be ENFP and for INTJ it's ENTP. But on the other side of things that also explains why you're so valuable to each other and why your relationship can bring such fulfilling personal growth. You're both able to explain a worldview the other lacks. I wish your couple the best 💓!
I am curious on both of your attachment styles. I am an INTJ with a disorganised attachment style, and the majority of every INFJ I know has an anxious attachment style, just a pattern I noticed in my life. And from what I have talked with other INFJs, is that INFJs need someone who is consistent or predictable to not trigger their anxious attachment or their Ne Nemesis. Anyways, would be interesting for you guys to discuss the topic of attachment styles, and how both of your childhoods or caretaker relationships affected your current relationship with each other! I love hearing both of your perspectives, and it was a nice and entertaining video. Hope for more content where you both discuss other psychological or relationship topics from both of you guys perspectives!
You are definitely onto something with attachment styles affecting this dynamic. My anxious attachment is something I’ve spent years trying to heal (and I can honestly say I have been successful) and Will’s style seems to be quite secure. I suspect our dynamic would not work if he did not provide that secure base, and if I hadn’t spent years taking responsibility for, and healing, my anxious style. My Ne nemesis was definitely working overdrive in previous relationships where partners were not secure. As an INTJ with a disorganized attachment style, have you figured out what types might be best for you in a relationship?
While INTJ are known as the mastermind (best at navigating the real world to get what they want) [I have an ISTJ bother and he just does what he wants], INFJ are actually better at seeing how best to do things (via Ni-Ti loop). INFJ vision is more radical than an INTJ vision. Also, don't think a feeler is less developed or important than a thinker. Robots think, humans feel. INFJ has best balance of thinking and feeling, which gives special powers.
I once called a coworker nurse “neurotic”. In time I realize she has reasons to be. She was going through a lot with son. Mothers have a lot on their plate.
Katie I’m an INFJ female and when I listen to you I feel like I’m looking in the mirror. I have two sons with severe autism and I recovered from my autoimmune condition which I was told by my probably INTJ doctor was incurable. He told me to not waste my time on the patterns I was seeing because it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. But God via my intuition led me to that needle. Yet the whole time I had to sit at the feet of scientists and scientific research online in secret once in a while coming out to ask what they considered stupid questions. I appreciate Stephanie Senef’s work and I read all of it because I’ve pretty much read everything out there related to autism. Her theories are true for a certain subgroup of autism and they will always be able to discredit her because what she is sharing will only help a portion of people suffering from severe autism and or autoimmunity. But those people matter. My subgroup is affected by different pesticides that impact acetaldehyde pathways in the body and lead to a specific kind of autism interstitial cystitis and Parkinson’s. After I tested my theory on myself and recovered from severe interstitial cystitis I was horrified to find the works of several scientists who had already proven what I was saying but their work was just buried and serving no practical purpose to those who are voiceless and in pain. We needed niacin and retinoic acid and it had already been shown that these nutrients via the acetaldehyde dehydrogenase enzyme help synthesize the progenitor cells necessary to sustain the bladders protective lining. Retinoic acid deficiency causes the gut to hyper absorb oxalate another major factor in Interstitial Cystitis. I now have a normal healthy bladder. Please keep following your intuition on these things while broadening your scientific knowledge. Do not confine yourself to the windowless room of the scientist and mainstream medicine. I pray that men who are able to humble themselves and let their gift of logic serve others gift of intuition will rise up and find real solutions that actually reach the people and relieve the suffering of women and children. I want to give my children what has helped me find relief but a logical doctor and exhusband are holding them hostage in agony continuing to insist there is no evidence based solution for our problem. It’s pure arrogant evil from people who are too low in neuroticism to be moved by the cries of pain of those who are suffering.
Stream of consciousness 3:46 INTJ and INFJ couple of 10 years here. 10 years later, and just recently, I learned to not use Te (presume, induct, cold) for all conflicts and instead apply Fe-Ti (listen and understand, compassion). Flow and orient. Orient and flow. Reality operates a certain way, flow with it. Don't try to force your entire will onto it.
@@katiemarie8899 Well... I see others suggesting that he learns the cognitive functions, I think it'd be very beneficial to at least gain a conceptual understanding. For me it clicked after becoming spiritual recently LOL. This "Flow and orient. Orient and flow. Reality operates a certain way, flow with it. Don't try to force your entire will onto it" is carrying a lot of weight for me. And also, I suppose I got tired of making the same mistakes for 10 years xD!!! I'm essentially trying to attune to reality for the purpose of gaining insights by operating in a mode that attempts to reflect how reality operates. As above, so below. As within, so without. Reality doesn't have to conform to me, I must conform to reality, then it will allow me some sway xD For the record, these are new insights to me and they haven't really been battle tested yet. Not sure how I'll fare in the real world. ---- Edit: LMAOOO, actually, you reminded me of my repulsive attitude towards emotions in arguments/discussions ~6 years ago. I had to realize and tell myself that it's also a source of information and that I should attend to it properly. Still, I had some sort of disdain for it until recently. The feeling still lingers and I pacify it by keeping the cosmic perspective (macro) in mind. Curious if this is unique to myself. My partner had to spend a lot of time unpacking (Ti-ing) my feelings in our arguments for me. If I'm interpreting this right, I could not Ti my own feelings for the life of me xD. I've come to realize how strong my Fi is.
37:16 "Dissecting and looking at things conceptually, that's being alive to me." Yesss!! 38:45 Wowz, that must've been heart breaking. "Can you stop asking why?" 49:27 loool, it appears our roles swaps between our relationships. In our case, I'm the one who's in the rabbit holes finding macro patterns and is excited to share, while she's the one who's more likely to criticize and pushback xD. Edit: actually, she just mentioned that she has rabbit holes she hasn't shared with me. So I may only feel this way because I have the tendency to go down rabbit holes and be excited to share. 50:00 Ohhh, you're talking about the rising rates of autoimmune disorders... I'm sure you've gone down the rabbit hole of the vxzeens :) Stephanie Seneff said other things as well about a recent and popular medical intervention xD 51:31 Hm! Sounds like you haven't gone down the vxzeens rabbit hole! 55:15 "And that looks cool!" Creation happens at the edge of order and chaos. Too much order, you cannot change. Too much chaos, you have no form. The edge is referred to as the edge of criticality, and it's self organized by the interactions of order and chaos themselves. The environment is always evolving, especially as technology accelerates and we enter phase transitions. Constraints change, forms change. An evolving environment requires an evolving cognition. Heraclitus was right, everything is in flux, all is in flow. _Nothing/no thing_ is forever. I hope you two are able to become fully integrated
My thoughts: I have gone down the autoimmune rabbit hole you mentioned but intentionally did not say it in the video for reasons I’m sure you understand. If it took you ten years to learn Fe-Ti I might be doomed 😂 edge of criticality.. recently learned how this manifests in biological neural networks too. Similar rabbit holes eh? Pray 4 me that we integrate 😩
@@katiemarie8899 yesss, the edge is everywhere there is.. creation? Going to look into what your referring about neural networks. Ahahaha yesss, we had tried so many approaches. She would always say to me, don’t do things just to check off boxes and that I needed to change my mindset. Well, it didn’t take me 10 years to learn it, it took me that long to value it. Maybe my Fe was just too underdeveloped! Though I gotta say, I’m not sure if I could’ve turned out this way if I hadn’t gone down the rabbit holes I mentioned to you in your video on Christianity. In a nutshell: "The first gulp from the beaker of knowledge estranges us from God, but at the bottom of the glass God is waiting for him who seeks."
NOW do the same thing with your Enneagram types, and then your primary Love Languages. I personally see those, based more on values than behaviors, as so much more useful for romantic partners seeking harmony than a test meant primarily for office workers aiming to improve group efficiency. I still found this a helpful, enlightening video--as a negotiation and conflict resolution specialist (though more on the international level of mediating civil wars and negotiating arms control agreements) AND a hopeful romantic... plus an INFJ!
Well, this has been refreshing. Watching & Learning, the exploration of Spherical Paths ( was connecting to me how my Brain 🧠 works, & then how my heart ♥️ works. Inspiring to see such a young couple w/ individual wisdoms & intellectuals be brave, vulnerable, Strong to share as examples of process’s for growth & Discovery. I truly enjoyed & was captivated by this segment of a quick painting into your lives meshing together! I will excitingly share this with all my family & friends, colleagues! All before a cup of coffee ! Lol, I’ve got Stamina 😊Thank you, Kindly.
To the question at the end: I am an INFJ so i am less research and more interested and intuition focused in my opinions. So i agree i am more vision that researcher. I think you need to have a visionary to lead the idea that starts the research because the idea and results can better something which is what sparks us to start as visionary. then pair up with a research to prove and develop and use logic to prove the theory or idea so the hypothesis can prove itself and actually take roots. So personally i think the vision comes first then the research is needed or it will just be an idea. And i usually just sit with the idea and it never gets anywhere from there. So working together with a research focused person would be the ultimate power couple if they can both balance the other out when to eager but also allow themself to lean into their strengths as you have the other person to have their backs at their weak point. Just an epic power couple if done right, but without understanding and willingness to work together on their differences they will clash and not work out. Which is personally why i think the INTJ and INFJ relationship combo is so underrated as they with either clash or thrive depending on exactly that, their willingness to work on the relationship to give it that strong foundation.
(ENFP) Having the 'Ne' form of complex pattern recognition, my bias would be to encourage you to stick with the Zoom-out lense for as long as it takes to see ALL the possibilities, & make all of the connections first. It's important not to 'marry' one idea too soon & become blinkered. Leave that to the cross-checkers & natural "zoom-in" folk. We need both in this world.... Thanks for making such an interesting vid! :)
Good to see you back on TH-cam. I also am infj. That was what I was the first time I took the test; the second time I took it I was slightly different. But I don't remember my second round result. First time I was about 24 or 25; second time around 40.
I wanted to answer question whether you should use your Te to become like him. I would say; not to become like him, but to balance and optimize your Ti in a greater way. Months ago, I had an epiphany about balance. There must be a balance for things, a holistic function that works in unison with other topics. In this case, utilizing our preference functions with our shadow functions. Our shadow functions can help us to take in account of our blindspots. Like how Ni sees a single point, but Ne will help broaden the horizon so Ni can make a much more accurate conclusion. If we use all of our functions in a healthy manner, we will become a more well-rounded person. So take the same principle with Te and your Ti, then utilize them along with your Ni. See where that will lead you. You might be surprised with what you find at the end of the road.
I am an INFJ in the beginning of a relationship with an INTJ and i would love to hear about the early relationship stage between you two, good and bad, like what was your perception and perspective as you meet and started your relationship. Like how did your perceive the other person, what was early bumps in the road or endearments early on. Are there any needs in the relationship that you work around. Like INFJ need alone time and respecting that etc. any things an INTJ need for themself or from their partner.
I think I have the answer to your question, at the end of the video, “longer vision” vs “accuracy”,… just add to the equation the time variable. So it depends on how much time you have for the analysis. Rather than deciding if you should shorten your vision to gain accuracy or keep the long term vision and accept the potential pitfalls, rather develop the ability to gage how much time you have for the analysis. It sounds simple, but in the many years I have been working with people I don’t see many with this ability. … I loved your video, I’m an INFJ too.
I really enjoyed watching both of you talking(it is not my first time watching the whole video 😅). I hope you make more videos like that or just discuss some ideas with each other ), It is gonna be so inspiring. 🤩 Wish you both all the best 💌
As someone trying to confirm if im an infj and then listening to the infj go off on a tangent passionately about the same subjects and ideas I enjoy really made me feel like I was hearing myself.
As a fellow INFJ woman I don't understand how someone isn't neurotic. Lol and I started laughing out loud when she hesitated before saying her number cuz we infjs already know lol y'all are so cute
Would love to hear what both your love languages are and how they affect your relationship. Maybe a video on your attachment styles as well. Thank you!
You guys are each others equals in strengths. You guys are growing :). I would say that you guys both have the same bandwidth for patience for others and just it’s ok to clash: hang in there. Conflict is necessary for vulnerability and deep love: you don’t need to solve all of it. My husband is an INFJ and I’m an ENFP. It takes time.:. You guys both have Ni though so hey..: just because you can see how the chess plays out doesn’t mean that it will go that way. Get into the sensory again to connect too. I have the most fun in the sensory world with INFJs and INTJs… I’m serious it’s the best goofy ridiculous stuff. You all are heavy hitters are personality types so you will experience more intensity. Don’t use your Fe to judge it INFJ. I know you will but trust the Fi INTJ here….let some of that Fe Ti go. Chill chill… you guys are going to go through a lot of stuff together… INFJ…. No offense INTJ… you’re still a God when it comes to academics but listen the INFJ when their Ti develops fully… they are actually much more intelligent. Oh man, I want to be your child haha: like perfect parents dude. Hey, go to Paris for a while… I’m serious go have fun…. You just A+. You are there. Man eugenics I hate that concept but damnit the perfect people do exist 😂. I love you guys. Try to tell those inner critics to chill. I’m pretty sure your abilities to debrief and imagine a world that is different from any issue that you will face: please combine forces and save the world. When’s the wedding. Sorry. Just, I love this pairing. My two favorite types together. Literally dying right now… please have children. Yep, that’s not weird to say. So adorable, shipped my God. He’s not agreeable…. INTJs are not agreeable. But that’s how they can remain objective. No, 1 is accurate. I love you guys and the tribe is very chill for you but it’s the masculine assertive INTJ suave I’m kind of ass, but with my people my fi people… he would die for you. Oh my gawd I would die to see this pair succeed. Ok maybe not that. But like oh wow, I just feel like I’m witnessing a shooting star nebula that happens once a millennia. Oh my gosh you guys. I do, you do we all do right. Holy crap, bursting ENFP heart right here. I’m dying this is too much. My heart just exploded. Please have at least four children: what is happening to me… my brain just melted. Oh my gawd. Just oh my freakin’ . How did you find each other? I find all of the ixxjs, but like wow. That’s why this is so freaky to watch. Just someone pinch me. Sigh. Wow. Also, the autism thing… I can say since our families have a lot of Aspergers… one thing that causes it is that all of the intuitives are going to grad school and reproducing, that’s a huge study happening in England. Also, yes heavy metal poisoning is for sure hurting our guts and sort of hard to decipher chicken, or egg of like were we all just predisposed to autoimmune system issues and the increased heavy metals in our soils, water etc environmental issues is that causing an increase in the prevalence of these diseases…. But, the research and data will take like 50 years to catch up to that and to become canon. There’s no way that we can say that there is a causational relationship there. Be careful how you phrase it, when you make conclusions agreed there. But hypothesis about how things are effecting humans in a variable world is exactly why the medical community exists at all. :). You two and your synergy. I’m dying please save us :).
Great video, it's illuminating to see a side-by-side interaction between a fellow INFJ (provisional in my case) and an INTJ in an intimate relationship analysed so well- you two are gonna be great together, I foresee 🔮 a bright future 😉. My own INFJness has largely been suppressed from childhood trauma, my Fe seems to have been mangled through early attachment injury and manipulation, so my Ti function seems to have become more relied upon and Fe mistrusted, and I am aware (now) that in many ways I would probably be perceived more like an INTJ by others. That said to say this: The difference between Ti (INFJ tertiary function- "logic") and Te (INTJ secondary function- "evidence") while appearing similar and not mutually exclusive, are quite different in how they present- Ni/Ti tends to model a conclusion based on "if this, then this", "yes/no", step by step connections and falsification while Ni/Te seems to be more reliant on and trusting of established "facts", accepted knowledge, and empirical data. An INFJ attempting to become more data-driven can often become overwhelmed by the tendency toward Ni/Ti looping (and because Te is our "blind" 7th "shadow" function), whereas INTJs corresponding "loop" is Ni/Fi, with Fe being "blind", and Ti being 6th of 8 in their stack, so they can become very "faithful" to data and trust the map and their own dedocation to their plan based upon it rather than adjusting to the terrain itself. Each way of being has its potential pitfalls, and personally I find managing large amounts of data very taxing, but once I have internalized a concept and validated it with Ti, it's mine forever. Both can be improved, but the approach is important. There seems (to me) to be some link between neuroticism and conscientiousness , and overwhelm - high neuroticism may be linked with Fe "empathy" and make INFJs more vulnerable, and overwhelm can absolutely OBLITERATE our conscientousness - "doorslam", Se "grip", depression, etc. INTJs likely have some similar reactions, but I don't understand the source of overwhelm as well for them. I'd be curious to know both your thoughts. Thanks for this, it gave me something else for my Ni/Ti loop to chew on for awhile, and added another piece or two to my own puzzle. Sulfuration pathways huh? Good to know! And I think you're onto something worth pursuing- the Romans served wine and food from lead vessels, accepting it as "safe" and a mark of status and wealth ; lead exposure wasn't identified as a cause of brain damage until 2000 years later. Hopefully it won't take us as long to get a clue about mercury, aluminum, glysophate, and other toxins. My best to you both, thanks!
As an entp male, i was really put off by agreeableness 1. I know you can spin it any way you like, but that seems like he isn’t taking responsibility for his feelings. Such a huge disparity between agreeableness will create friction over time. My recommendation is for him to really study psychology for a bit, get clear on his emotions, and incorporate his emotions more, because to me it shows that his Fi is undeveloped and even quite possibly hostile (only receiving but not giving) Fi is supposed to be a caring function, not a been taken care for function. That is just my logical interpretation. Sometimes a bit of cut throat logic that no one has asked for, but if you want to stay together without the fe feeling of loneliness, you need fi that is at least somewhat developed
Im also not confident when he is confronted by this grade. Instead of “i wanna change that” he says ahw it doesn’t matter. Well it does. That is a redilously low score, and one that is life defining. Either you got good arguments or you own up to it and take responsibility
To the girl in the video, i wanna be very direct. Are you over explaining his behavior. Watch it back, and watch how you answer the questions he needs to answer. That is part of your over-agreeableness. Let him explain himself.
Being and INFJ myself, I've been very suspicious of glyphosate for around 25 years. Once I feel something is very likely to be "the cause" of any large scale problem....especially when I know I don't stand any chance of "proving it"..even to myself....I just become very intentional about not only avoiding exposure to that thing...but always...continually...taking in whatever additional data comes along...for my Ni to do it's "Ni thing". After all this time, my hunch has not lessened any...and I still try to buy either organic or "non-gmo" products...and especially in wheat products because I also have a very strong and long lasting hunch that it's not "mere gluten" that so many celiacs are reacting to, but rather glyphosate-ridden gluten. I was having a lot of joint inflammation when I used to eat refined carbs (mostly products made from white flour) on a regular basis. I then stopped eating those things and my inflammation subsided....Then...(because I really love bread!) I decided to try making my own bread with organic flour....no inflammation!!!!....and then because organic flour is expensive...I thought I'd see if merely "non-gmo" flour would be sufficient...and it has been! (Bob's Red Mill makes both) I'm not going to promise the same results for true celiac disease...but I will admit the thought has crossed my mind more than once that this whole "gluten intolerance" explosion may just be a misunderstanding. It may be a "glyphosate intolerance" instead.
This is so encouraging to read!! I am exactly the same.. have a hunch, can’t “prove it,” adjust my life to that belief. And friends/family tend to think I’m making it up in my head. I don’t care! This makes me curious about how I might react to organic flour. Apparently wheat has some of the highest amounts of glyphosate because it’s sprayed to “kill” it early and dry it up for harvest. I am currently reading Stephanie Seneff’s book about glyphosate and I just cannot believe this stuff is still used on our food.
@@katiemarie8899Yes wheat is known for being one of the most glyphosate ridden foods. Must be mostly genetically modified to be "round-up ready". It wouldn't surprise me if Monsanto/Bayer are just powerful enough to manipulate their way out of accountability by claiming it's all about the gluten...but of course, this is just another "hunch". I followed this hunch because my intuition rarely fails me. In the mean time, I have had no more inflammation and it's been over 10 years since I did.....and this is the one main thing I changed. I realize how "unscientific" this is, but like you "I don't care"! I do think science needs strong Ni types to generate hypotheses. Just as you stated, I don't think we (INFJs) have the patience for full engagement in the long... arduous...slow...detailed... scientific process ...but I think strong, well-functioning Ni may be the best cognitive function for coming up with "what to consider" (which tree to bark up, so to speak :)
Ok, I’m back I figured something out, when the INFJ listens they do it with their eyes. Like, sure it’s the INFJ soul stare thing, but like they are focusing on the people and then bringing forth their inner counsel. The INTJ does this weird like thing where they Ni stare off while running through logical lists or whatever they are referencing in their heads and a lot of the interactions with INTJs are very specific head like movements that do most of the communicating which is mostly listening and then when they pinpoint what they are pretty sure that you’re going to say they side smile and are like they are flipping through Music Records in a used book store like yep know that, know that, that’s new, know that. Then when they use those light floppy hand movements they are like in a flow state of listening, or talking. I know this is probably like Socionics, or whatever it’s called. But, yeah I feel like I can recognize these two types just from their eye, hand and head movements when they listen or talk. Like in ten seconds. I know this choreography….. it makes me feel like I already know them. Tis creepy, but real.
I'm so curious as to whether or not they still together. She hasn't posted in over a year, and that makes me wonder if she's doing that thing that we do where we disheartening from the world to figure things out. Love and light to then both, I know full well how it is to have a balance between these though they are believed to be compatible 💛
An INTJs way of thinking is based on rationale, reasoning and justification. While an INFJs way of thinking is based on boolean logical true/false thinking that leads to a subjective truth. Logic and rationale must work together to find the accurate truth, as you need the perspectives of others (Te) and the analysis of your own (Ti) to be able to reason and induce a truth, because life is often unclear. The absolute truth is hard to get but I think to answer your question, as an INFJ, I think you should balance out and develop your Te function instead of pairing up with someone who has higher logic, and you can do this I guess by adopting your INTJ boyfriends objective thinking, or at least be aware of your own faults (Te Trickster), because I think INFJs can get stuck in confirmation bias, as being in a Ni-Ti loop of envisioning the absolute best truth, and refusing to listen to other perspectives can often misguide you, but can also lead to the truth as well. So an INFJ should stick to their strengths, be aware of their weaknesses and pair up with someone who can cover those weaknesses, like an INTJ xD. Anyways nice video! Really enjoyed it and hope for more videos!
I strongly suggest you watch some Franl James videos together. He has delved a lot into our dominant functions and hiw they czn steer us wrong, but also how when everything is going wrong we fall back on our other functions as a default and hiw that can make things worse. He's usually quite hilarious about it. He also is an INFJ, so he has multiple vids talking about how INFJs tend to sabotage relationships and how other types misunderstand us or assume our motivations incorrectly.
I may be breaking open doors here, but I notice a lot of comments from INFJ females that are with INTJ males, like your combo which is honestly optimal, but the very lack of the opposite which is in my opinion completely logical. A female INTJ would rarely have the patience for an INFJ male. And looking at the typical male/female dynamics traits and what society would expect from them, it is an unlikely pairing. In the end, INTJ girls will settle for a partner even if it's not completely optimal, because women have the power to choose. Or end up being alone by choice, because they feel it's better to be alone than with someone that's not right for them. On the other hand the INFJ male is the ultimate black duck in the MBTI, and likely will end up a lone wolf, because he has no other option, or very few, sadly. It's not that he doesn't want to connect with others, it just others that fail to connect at his level of depth. Oh well, dogs are cool, and their love is without boundaries.
I agree on the INTJ female will hardly ever stay paired with an INFJ male. There are always exceptions to the rule, as there was one example in these comments , but as I'm sure you have seen, most of the pairings in these comments are INFJ(F)/INTJ(M). Too bad, because I think an INTJ female could be happy with an INFJ male if they both invested the time in understanding the cognitive functions. Like any pairing, none are perfect. I think there are a lot of possibilities for an INFJ male, so don't despair.
Hey Katie..I cannot tell you how eagerly I was waiting for you to have another conversational video of your Infj-Intj relationship dynamic. I am an Infj too who is exploring the potentiality of this an infj and intj relationship. Is there any way I can connect to you through instagram or any other social platform? Thanks and Love to you both❤❤
Wow. I am not the most agreeable person at all because I'm quite the introvert and lone wolf. Yet I also identify as an EMPATH. Someone who shares my empathic traits, though it needn't be as strongly, might well be the primary thing I seek in a partner. I'm not even sure I could *respect* (and thus couldn't love) someone with a 1 in agreeableness. Does he not like to tip in certain situations where it's expected? Just curious how one ends up with that kind of score...
I’m an INTJ girl, if you are an INTJ like me just try to avoid whoever has an ISTP personality and your life will be so much easier. And meet an INFJ (which I didn’t meet yet😢..)
Isn't a major flaw of the Big 5 that they don't discriminate between different circumstances wrt how the 5 characteristics manifest? For example, in certain situations, a person may have little neuroticism, in others, lots. I have long suspected the choice of Big % over MBTI with many professionals and Jordan Peterson is because the characteristics in the Big 5 translate more simply and usefully to corporate performance rather than self empowerment and life satisfaction (MBTI), and that the Big 5 seem more of a choice than a fixed psychology which MBTI suggests.
Force fitting is a lesson that must be learned to ascend. A karmic soul tie isn’t a soulmate but necessary. Opposites attract but free will to choose what kind of opposite is beneficial to soul growth. People come into our lives to teach us who we really are. Stay on the right path to avoid unrequited relationships of any kind. Toxic relationships are dime a dozen. Look for the signs. Be patient and love yourself first. People fake intentions all the time. Study energy and energy manipulation. Good luck. For me, as an INFJ, if I don’t have a strong 5D connection first, there won’t be a 3D. Bless you☝🏻
You disappeared! This is the only video I found on two types,and well my combination didn't work out that well. Can you update us? INTJ really messed me up lol, I had a feeling he liked me until he didn't. I was told we,as INFJ's are very critical and judging but oh boy,but if thats so - then you haven't met INTJ. Cold,just dgaf attitude.
Has anyone ever told y'all that you kinda resemble Hermione and Harry Potter? 🙂 Regarding you being more open (97 vs 91), he might catch up to you one day. I'm 55 and although my degrees are in science, I've been into ALL the New Age stuff since Junior High school and into Law of Attraction for 20 years and witchcraft for a couple of years now (the positive kind - green and hedge witchcraft). We INTJs can definitely get "out there"! We Ni doms LOVE that abstract! We get so bored with the mundane. I think I'm actually more like Katie with the abstract stuff than Will...maybe because I'm older now and have tapped into my feeling function well enough that I trust that side of myself, which is part of Katie's ability to make those leaps. It's not all about intuition. Sometimes it's trusting our feelings. Will's not quite there yet. It's good to try to go back and look for the evidence too though.
It all makes sense, since he is INTJ ego (towards the rest of the world) but ESFP subconscious (towards you, unless you trigger his ego). At least this is what I've understood from the INTJ cognitive functions thus far.
You should be happy that this INTJ is more human😂. I’m an INTJ and I can tell you that, INTJ smiling and able to communicate well is very rare, due to our cognitive makeup.
I decided to do the test while listening to your video out of curiosity and felt like I had a deja vu. Felt so weird but calm in the same time. Got: O - 90%, C - 58%, E - 33%, A - 46%, N - 44% (not sure how to interpret it tho) Wholesome video.
Hi, Katie. You mentioned here that you work as a therapist. Do you offer these services virtually to those who do not live in your area? I have watched all of you videos and truly don't believe there could be a therapist in existence that could understand me better and that could offer better insights into myself on my journey of growth and self-acceptance. I *completely* understand if that is not something offered. Best wishes and thank you so much, truly, for these videos. I feel so seen.
I thought "conscientious" means doing what you believe to be morally right or maybe empathetic. This COULD include being committed and giving a task your all, but that's only when you believe those to be the proper way of doing things.
As an INFJ male, I can tell you that you can't hold out for an INFJ male. First of all, there are very few of us. All of the supposed INFJ males on the internet, none of them are real. They are attracted to being an INFJ since they are so rare, especially males, since most INFJs are female. The only INFJ I know is a female. There are some females on the internet, including yourself. You have to decide what it is that you really want. The male you have is a fine male, but you will never be able to teach him about what you know or are interested in. I am aware about how to deal with INTJs, but they are incapable of dealing with your reality. INFJ males would either be a monk, not Catholic, or your Guardian. They will not be your lover. You should pursue your INFJ interests , specifically the spiritual and metaphysical parts, but I suggest you keep them your secrets, If you wish to make a life with an INTJ.
my grandfather have aspergers syndrome, my father have mild autism and i also have asd .i want to know how this developmental disorder came in our family gene pool.and i also want to know if two neurotypical individual (with no autism history in theri family ) planned to have a baby .is their any chance their baby can have developmental disorder like autism. if yes then how a healthy mother and father with healthy genes make baby with defected genes. from where this defected genes in their baby came from. (sorry for my english)
34:34 LOL absolutely adorable when she is looking for emotional reciprocation/affirmation after she complimented him for helping her through painful times. His Fe blind was a little slow picking that up as she was gently nudging him repeatedly.
You two are adorable. "We love each other in part because we both are fascinated with each other's PASSION for ideas!" I predict years of mutual happiness.
Hopefully right!
My girlfriend is an INFJ and I am an INTJ. We are both older and the combination works quite well. I find her very intelligent and the conversations are extremely stimulating. She comes at most topics with a very feeling type of attitude. I am way more logical but the key to our relationship is that we are both very good at seeing things from multiple perspectives. We are both very good listeners. I have yet to find another person who understands things so quickly and she always looks at the societal impact. She likes how I quickly solve problems. We both think in patterns and can easily see the big picture. It is a killer combination.
Ni at its finest ❤ never met an INTJ that I know of but I'm scared 😅 heard they're really cold and lack empathy but I'd like an interaction to see how our Ni works together
@@OzmaOfOzzit's Ni on steroids😁 actually, feels very intense. Emotions can go from 0 to 100 in a couple of seconds. But also it feels nice to practice your dom function on an equal level, like a mental hourse race between equals, which you both deeply enjoy.
Conflicts though is a problem. This relationships don't work without established communication. It pretty much has a potential of becoming a pile of misunderstandings and misconceptions pretty easily at the beginning. So, communication, conflict resolution and negotiation skills are a must!
But it's just delightful to see when the relationships are established.
perfectly describes me (infj) and my boyfriend (intj) :)
As an INTJ myself I have often wondered what this relationship would look like. So healthy in how you approach your differences. You both are such positive and healthy role models for this dynamic. You are both beautiful - Gods blessings.
You are both right and this is what intj and infj do so well together. I'm entj so I know everything let's just clear that up real fast. Your visions as infj are like the minority report oracles where these are possibilities and highly likely gut analyses that are so fast only an infj would understand. Keep it on a sticky note and put it somewhere you want to keep record of your connections.
Then I like to call the intj the finisher. The intj will come in and clean up all false positives and all loose ends, like sloppy science claims and methods and bad data. A sloppy claim doesn't mean wrong it means you have to look deeper.
Lean in and also utilize your great team of two you have. You both have gifts. I mean you have just been gifted such a brilliant team if you understand each other and can make the relationship hum like a perfect sentient computer.
God bless your lovely marriage in Jesus name. May all who want this kind of teamwork find it.
The agreeableness, as a INFJ i could relate to that so hard. I have also tried to lower my agreeableness and "label myself selfish" to learn to be less agreeable, be less empathetic and not give so much to other people and burning myself out, learning to prioritize myself first more. Learning to say no.
I do agree this thing,being infj too.
This was a really tough one for me to tackle, and I still go wrong with it sometimes. But what really helped me, especially with women, was to be radically politically incorrect. To the point of rudeness/contrariness even. Ofcourse with a big smile to make it more palatable. I've very often seen people drop their jaw in amazement thinking they can't believe the thing I just said. The beauty of it is, you can speak the unvarnished truth at the same time.
People (women) do get the wrong impression sometimes, thinking you are a much bigger jerk than you actually are. That comes with its own set of problems, but mostly of the luxury kind. Most women are content that their jerk turns out to be kind and warmhearted. And the ones who don't have issues anyway and will come to discard you after the appropriate amount of fun. It's a win-win either way.
I'm an infj with an intj husband, married for decades. Only 2 or 3 years ago did I learn about Myers Brigg, and it has explained so much about our personalities and our dynamic. What you've found out in your relationship really resonates, and I really 'got' all that you were talking about. After all these years my husband has learned that emotions really are a 'thing' that is well to accept that it just is . . even though it doesn't affect his fi function. And at the same time I've learned to not be so pulled into situations by my fe compulsions of caring too much about others, because I can see his fi in action and learn from that. Anyway I think you two are really onto something😉
I can't believe this, I'm in heaven 😂😂😂 I wanted this video to happen so bad 😂 I think the biggest problem in an intj infj relationship is communication.
INTJ-A male here.
I played your video because of recent interest about INTJ-INFJ relationships. I know an INFJ woman from years, we have history and recently accepted the fact that (after long periods of emotional evaluation and data gathering) I love her. "Evaluation" and "data gathering" seems apathetic words in this context but they are just concepts to describe what I been doing for a long time: watching and listening to understand the pattern, the singularity that makes her unique.
I saw the video until the minute 6:24 when "percentages" started to be pronounced and comparisons between them started to be made, because only one word popped up in my mind when I heard them: fear. I understand the rigor to systematize and provide evidence, but the need to carefully measure everything in an attempt to get control over relationships and love "compatibility" seems to me as fear to uncertainty. You'll never be 100% sure about nothing, so you need to accept that always a degree of uncertainty will exists in everything. In relationships is the same; you need to trust and accept the part that is uncertain void.
Being around my INFJ female removes any drop of fear on me, which is the reason I prefer to honor love as acceptance and be resilient to any darkness that could manifest from the uncertainty present in human interactions. If you want to love, don't be afraid.
That's just beautiful
How is it going with your infj, if you don't mind me asking ?
I swooned reading your way of saying that y’all “evaluated” and “data gathered” your way to love.
Katie, that was a fantastic explanation for why you might bring something up after a conflict has been “resolved” using the functions. I’m an infj and experience this but have never heard it articulated in such a clear and insightful way. Helps me understand myself better. Thank you.
Im an INFJ responding to ur hypothetical question :) . I feel like the "vision" is a gift you can't really develop over time, you just sort of have it or you dont. For the logic part, I do think it can be strengthened with effort and practice. I also think that you are right about being around different types. It strengthens our skills and helps us know when to pull them out, because we learn by watching what they do best lol. In the INTJ's case, being around them is a reminder to stick to the damn facts on the paper. ESFPs remind us to chill the hell out and choose happiness lol. Sometimes I feel like a human sponge, just soaking up things other ppl are doing.. but it definitely helps me learn + grow
I’m an INFJ and my bf is an INTJ. I’ve noticed that my Fe allows me to play with my Ni, knowing I can see patterns with the human condition, allowing my brain to sense that something is wrong and knowing that there is something wrong gives me comfort with sitting with the uncomfortableness. My bf can sense that something isn’t right but doesn’t know what it is because it’s not logical, so he is left with feeling uncomfortable and not knowing why which can be unsettling and then likely reflects that the uncomfortableness is probably his fault, problem, or in his head and can’t sit with the uncomfortableness. I see it as outside of myself (Fe), and he likely sees it inside of himself (Fi).
I just saw that pattern with Ni, Fe vs Ni, Te. My observation is he feels uncomfortable but doesn’t know where it is coming from, so he identifies that it’s something to do with him. I feel the uncomfortableness and it’s from without myself.
Nice to see a couple speak of love and understanding. Nowadays so many people forget the understanding part and just go off on each other. Understanding the other is key in any relationship especially the most valuable ones.
INTJ see world as is, INFJ see world that could/should be.
What are you talking about
YES!
INTJs also see the world that could/should be, but our Te function still demands that we prioritize the truth of the world first before our ideals cloud our vision.
Te versus Ti is likely to be a challenge, but knowing that you could make it a strength by showing each other your different perspectives. Te gives the INFJ a better grasp on reality, Ti gives the INTJ a better awareness of how the world is made. Ti deconstructs to build up again. MBTI is a great tool to resolve misunderstandings and potential conflict. It's great you 2 can do that. I wish you the best, you look like nice people. Glad to see you back on YT Katie Marie. You are very beautiful. I suspect there is great power in your combination of personality types.
Dear Katie and Will,
Thank you for your inspirational and interesting video!
It is beautiful to watch the two of you together.
I am 51 and I wished that I was as mature in my twenties as you are now already at such a young age.
I love that the thing that brought you together is that you like to analyse everything to death 😉.
I am an INFJ and I have loved an INTJ for a long long time. We are no longer together now. It was impossible for me to “read” him, he was like a brick wall. We were never really able to communicate the important stuff in our relationship, as in where the relationship was going, our needs etc …. causing the relationship to fail.
To answer your question about whether or not you should lean into just the intuitive part or balance it out with the Ti. My option, as a scientist and an INTJ, and someone who absolutely ADMIRES INFJ creativity! I think you should MOSTLY do your intuition of course because you're an INFJ but you gotta get that Ti in there. You will benefit more from developing your Ti to support your intuitive leaps. You HAVE Ti and you can do it!! And you will feel SO MUCH BETTER about your work if you have that aspect to it. I had to do this with my Fi and my life is so much more RICH because I did that. Your life will be so much more rich if you develop your Ti. I'm not saying you should make Ti equal to your Ni (that's not possible) but do respect the Ti and give it it's due diligence. You will respect yourself and your work more in the long run.
I just found your channel and am totally subscribing! I'm a 55-year old female INTJ and I had an INFJ for a mother so I know the INTJ/INFJ dynamic well. We LOVED having the "Why?" conversations. There was NEVER too many "Whys?". Plus I am very knowledgeable on the MBTI and cognitive functions. Will, you NEED to take some time to learn the cognitive functions. I think you'll REALLY REALLY benefit from it and it will give you and Katie a TON of interesting things to talk about as your understanding progresses. It goes super deep and complex so it's perfect for us Ni doms.
Also, I want to thank you Katie for this video. My sweet, neurotic, beautiful INFJ mother passed away 10 years ago, before I knew much about MBTI and it kills me that I didn't understand our dynamic better. We were so close (due to our dominant Ni and inferior Se) but the Thinking/Feeling clash was an issue sometimes. We didn't know how to get past it, especially as I got older and started developing my Te in college (I also have 2 science degrees). Katie, another thing that makes you ruminate I think is not just your Fe but also maybe your 3rd slot Ti. I think INFJs can get into the Ni/Ti loop where you analyze over and over again and can get into a negative space that's hard to get out of because you think you're correct in your analysis, even when you're off down a rabbit hole. And loved ones can't pull you out because you think you know more than them all (sometimes you do but not always). So in those moments, try to let Will bring you out and trust him. It was sad seeing my Mom go through that and I couldn't bring her out in those times. I think she went into a depression later in life. INFJs can feel really alone and different so cut yourself some slack. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're ADORABLE! I'm so glad to hear that you're learning to be more assertive and to put yourself first more. That's so important. I know it's hard. We INTJs struggle with wanting to fix everything with our Te (just like you struggle with your Fe - both in the 2nd slot - the teaching/good parent function). Just being aware of that helps.
Also, with the INFJ 3rd slot relief function (also called child/play function), it is just FUN! We all like to play with our 3rd slot functions and for you Katie, that is Ti, which means you enjoy the deep analysis. It's not a bad thing unless you get int that negative Ni/Ti loop I mentioned before. But you should be proud of your Ti. My Mom was brilliant in my eyes because of the way her functions came together, Ti analytical side meshed in such great balance wit her Fe. Healthy INFJs are beautiful, amazing people.
Will, I'm a lesbian and was married to an INFP female for 8 years (they are very similar to INFJs in that they embrace emotions, although for them it's Dominant and it's Introverted feeling so they are super intense on the inside - even embracing and loving their negative emotions because they have mastered them and are not afraid of them like so many of the rest of us can be - oohhhhhh I LOVE that about INFPs!! and to some extent INFJs but their emotional intensity is different - but I digress) and then was in another relationship with an INFP for 12 years (it's still kinda going on - that's another whole story) so my point is that I have experience with intuitive feeler women and from one INTJ to another, you have GOT to become more sensitive. You're going to really have to learn how to eat crow. It sounds like you're already realizing this but it's easier said than done. You CAN do it. You can do it because you are an introverted feeler which means you do feel things deeply. You just need to put some attention on that function more often so you get better at it and will be able to relate to feelers better. And you've GOT to just shut up and listen and stop saying "Right" all the time. She doesn't need you to tell her she's right (she knows she is). It comes off as insecure/arrogant.
I am SO GRATEFUL to my ex-INFP wife (we're still friends today - 14 years after our divorce) for being the one who finally got it through my thick skull how to be more sensitive to feelers. It changed my life. Poor thing, she worked SOOOO hard trying to teach me and be understanding of me with that and I was just like you, constantly coming at it from a Te perspective. She had faith in me and it paid off. You've GOT to start tapping into your 3rd slot function (introverted feeling) more so you can be more understanding and compassionate. INTJs CAN do Fe if we put in the effort. The quality of your life and relationships will double/triple. It will take years to get there so please start now. Tap into your heart and soul and put your intellect aside sometimes (like try it once per day) and just be tender and allow those vulnerable moments. I know it's SO HARD. It feels so awkward, but meditation helps. Anyway, I know I'm giving advice you didn't ask for but hey, it's TH-cam comments so you may not even see it. Maybe it will help some INTJ/INFJ couple out there.
Y'all are precious and it gives me hope because I've always loved INFJs and thought I'd like to be in another relationship with an INFJ (my first girlfriend I met in college was an INFJ as well - but she turned out to be Borderline so my assertiveness triggered her fear of abandonment too much so it didn't last). I loved sooooo many things about her and have always been interested in another INFJ/INTJ relationship. But I was concerned about the Feeling/Thinking clash. Y'all give me hope. It's pretty obvious you've got what it takes as a couple to make it through the tough times. Love and HUGS to you both!! I'm so glad I found your channel!
@hfortenberry It sounds you had a very lovely relationship with someone you got to know really well. Both mom and wife
One can’t rely on studies for scientific truth when the system favors perverse incentives. Katie’s intuition is necessary to see beyond what we’re allowed to believe is true based on who funds research.
Being an INTJ myself, I was hoping he will fall behind in agreeableness, but he exceeds my expectation...😁😁.. Kudos, brother.. We follow our rules & ideals & not deviating even an inch from that... 🤣🤣🤣... Jokes aside.. This is so relatable... I do things being in my relationship, that I would otherwise never consider to waste time in even thinking..
P.s :- After typing the last line, I realized why my/our agreeableness is so low... 😅😅... If I think something is wrong or not worth the time or I won't be able to do it right now, then no one can convince me otherwise, regrettably, even if they are right..
Welcome back Katie! I loved hearing this conversation. I’m an INFJ married to an ISTP and find it helpful to hear you both talk about your differences and how you work through conflict. Can very much relate and I like the positive framing you have towards conflict
How is that dynamic for you? One of my best friends is ISTP and I’m INFJ and it’s definitely tricky to navigate sometimes for me
Side note (my previous comment was so long I am putting this on a separate comment): It's been said that INTJs are hard on the outside and soft on the inside while INFJs are hard on the inside and soft on the outside. I do think this is true for INTJs (I'm an INTJ) and it seems it was true with my INFJ mother. HOWEVER, INFJs can also be super tender and sensitive on the inside too so they're not all hard on the inside, maybe just sometimes when they get into their Ti relief function. 🥰
Also, another sidetone, y'all made me think of this when you talked about escaping and doing nothing. Ni doms are super low on energy often and we are constantly managing our energy. I'll find myself sitting in my car before I go into a store to gather up the energy before going in, for example. Or I'll save some of my chores for later in the day to preserve my energy throughout the day, when I'm feeling drained. And I definitely don't do much on Saturday's but just chill, read, eat, sleep, etc. It's not until Sunday's that I start to get enough energy to even begin to think about doing chores/projects and even then, I am even more likely to WANT to do that stuff if I've had even more days off. Two days on the weekend is just barely enough to deal with the week. But anyway, yeah, that's normal for Ni doms. Don't let the rest of the world make you feel lazy. It's just how we are. It's good for us to TRY to be more active sometimes (also this is due to our inferior Se) but don't beat yourself up about it.
My husband is an INTJ with a PhD, and his name is Will too! lol. And I'm an INFJ studying to become a therapist. How funny! Gonna sit down and watch this with my husband, and see how it can guide us with our conflicts. I didn't watch all of it yet, but I realized 15 minutes in that it would be fun and helpful to watch with my husband. I haven't found much use in the Big Five yet, but you guys went through it in a really helpful way. I really struggle with what looks like a lack of empathy from him sometimes, but I think you guys explained really well, and in a way where I can maybe feel less abandoned or disregarded. Still chewing on that one lol. Thanks for making this video! Such a cute couple!
I really resonate with being so “zoomed out”. I often miss small details (or maybe subconsciously ignore them). Ni is constantly wanting to jump to a conclusion based on all of the known data. Te from the INTJ kind of balances that out from the scientific research perspective. But with Ti in our child function slot, us INFJ’s are more playful with those big leaps in making connections at times. I think it can hamper us in some areas of life. I think that is why many work environments don’t suit INFJ’s. But our ability to be thinking big picture is so valuable in many arenas of life, some of which you allude, to as a counselor. I think MBTI’s best use for most people is to gain an awareness of your strengths and weaknesses. Then work on your weaknesses, and lean into your strengths, and put yourself into situations where those strengths are useful and appreciated
Yayyy welcome back👏
Possible request for a how we met/got into a relationship story time?
Also other possible request for how you became a therapist and your honest opinions and experience with it? Is being drained and having empathy fatigue a big challenge? Do you think you would ever enjoy having a job like your partner? Okay enough questions 😅
If you ever have the desire or energy for making these videos, thank you ☺️
I love this video. I've been very sheltered in life. As a 43 year old male INFJ i finally have time to finally self reflect life. These video by far help me to understand myself. I've always been obsessed with other peoples thoughts. I find myself constantly curious about the person next to me. I feel like if I were to have been educated more on BAD personality types I would've been able to avoid my narcissisticly abused history I've unfortunately had to endure. It's only fed my thirst for more knowlege on personality disorders. Anyhow, I'll shut up now. 😅
love this video...fellow INTJ here who cares about your health. Teflon pans are not safe regardless of if you scratch them or not. You can switch to stainless or cast iron, which will lessen the toxin load in your body. Its easy to adjust your cooking habits and heat your pan differently to prevent food from sticking :)
You guys make me think of a story by the Victorian author George MacDonald The Romance of Photogen and Nycteris or also called The Day Boy and the Night Girl. They truly needed each other but they had to humble themselves and each venture into territory that was terrifying to them. Here is a quote from the end where Photogen says “if ever two people couldn’t do the one without the other, those two are Nycteris and I. She has got to teach me to be a brave man in the dark, and I have got to look after her until she can bear the heat of the sun, and he helps her to see instead of blinding her.” Men like Einstein and Solzhenitsyn stressed the importance of fairy tales because sometimes only they can communicate truths that are beyond words. Einstein believed that the logical mind was meant to be servant of the intuitive mind and yet we had gotten them reversed and wrongly placed the logical mind in a place of superiority. Keep fighting for what you’ve got.
Im so glad you guys decided to film together ❤
"I believe if there's a God, it wouldn't be inside you, or me, but in this space in between [us]. If there's any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed... but who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt." -- Céline, in Vienna, in the brilliant film, "Before Sunrise"
That's why you two are sycceeding.
My favorite trilogy
See, Katie, what you did with the sulfur/glyphosate thing is what we INTJs do all day long every day. We notice and investigate patterns in the world (from a high-level perspective) that are systems/things, non-human-values based (as opposed to you INFJs who do it with human interactions/values). That's why we're good with systems and science. A good scientist MUST be able to make intuitive leaps to create their hypotheses and then design experiments to test those hunches. INTJs are fantastic scientists because we are so natural at this. You did it too but for you it was kinda thrilling because you did it in the world of systems/things, our INTJ domain, vs the feeling world in which you normally dwell. You crossed over into our intuitive domain and applied your intuition there. WELL DONE!! 🙂 THAT can give you some insight into how our minds work. I have no doubt that one day, Will will do this with feelings/values and you will be like, yes, I do this all day long, but he will then be able to see it from your perspective.
It is truly rare to find an INFJ with an INTJ. With the abundance of INTJ mistypes (cough, cough, Lijo) in social media. It is refreshing to see obvious clear cases of real INTJs and INFJs.
You have a sub. Take care!
Why do you think Lijo is a mistype? (I've only seen a few videos)
Sure.@@Hyumanity
Some years ago on reddit someone uncovered old profiles and videos of lijo under a different brand, in which she was doing gymnastical fire-ball dancing in the beach, and they also showed a video of one of her vlogs of another brand in which she displayed very sensorial and unorganized attitudes.
The reaction of her was trying to bury all the evidence, but you can still find some with searching "Lijo not INTJ" on various social media.
She is not the only one though, most self proclaimed INTJ youtubers seem to be mistypes. I only follow a couple of mbti-based youtubers due to this ranmpant problem with mistyping oneself.
@@jorgepenaloza6834 thanks for the info! Interesting!
@@jorgepenaloza6834 i'm an INFJ and sensed that she wasn't an INTJ but couldn't really explain why!
i’ve been binging your videos for a week because i feel so seen and understood from an infj perspective such as yours, and your videos have just brought me a lot of comfort and a sense of clarity.
with that being said, i cant comprehend how people in this comment section can be so superficial & shallow to only care about how they perceive the mbti system and what it looks to them. i think if every intj / infj looked & acted the same as others, it would be a boring world, which isn’t the case. so um i guess what i’m trying to say is that all comments about ‘he is this’ ‘she is that’ are STUPID.
anyway, if you ever happen to be reading this, i hope you’re doing well & understanding yourself to a deeper level & trying to be more self-compassionate and i hope that you just keep in mind that people on the internet are just a bunch of incels who want to feel different & unique and need some sort of validation and individualization to overcompensate for their lack of self-esteem. anyway, happy friday .
You guys are soooooooo cute!!! 💛💛💛💛 I love you both! Thank you for taking us on this journey with you and being vulnerable! Also Katie, you look stunning!!!
I think you two are such a great example of this relationship on this platform and your types are both considered so rare that I already see this as an invaluable and precious resource to have for everyone so thank you for this! I'll definitely give someone the link to your videos if they want to know what this relationship between two Introverted Intuition dominant users looks like. Having the same type as you, I perfectly understand your philosophical dilemma at the end cause I have the exact same one. I guess I took the route of developing my Introverted Thinking majorly because it helped my ideas to be more easily understood and acknowledged by others, which was definitely something extremely valuable in my daily life and for work.
But despite that, I can't help but think that I probably went this way because society values logical consistency so it made things easier for me. And maybe it drags down my visionary potential.
The problem with such visions is that it's necessary but nobody, not even yourself can tell if you're right.
But it's a risk we should never stop taking anyway and it usually looks like everyone is against you because they want logical consistency at all costs. So I think nowadays we give too much credit to the need for logical consistency, making us stagnate more than we should.
Of course risks are always scary but the future will always be uncertain.
All of this just to say at the end of the day you have to make your own choice and nobody I think will have a definitive answer to this question but one thing I know is balance is always key so maybe try your best to stay loyal to these both aspects of yourself and to take the best from both.
I feel like it's always hard to be us cause it almost feels like our personal problems are such deep philosophical dilemmas that nobody could really give an answer to it.
But if you need more advice, try to find an ISTP in your life and talk to them someday. They're not very talkative and Sensors but they're the only other type besides us who share these two same cognitive functions of Ni and Ti that high except it's flipped so they have Introverted Thinking first then Introverted Intuition. They'll probably have some keys of comprehension for you if you can make them open up.
The relationship in your couple may be hard sometimes because according to MBTI, the function the two of you use constantly and consciously (the 2nd one, the tool function), is supposed to be the blind spot of each other if we take the Shadow functions/your alter ego into account. So this is an aspect you hardly see if not at all. Your alter ego would be ENFP and for INTJ it's ENTP. But on the other side of things that also explains why you're so valuable to each other and why your relationship can bring such fulfilling personal growth. You're both able to explain a worldview the other lacks.
I wish your couple the best 💓!
I am curious on both of your attachment styles. I am an INTJ with a disorganised attachment style, and the majority of every INFJ I know has an anxious attachment style, just a pattern I noticed in my life. And from what I have talked with other INFJs, is that INFJs need someone who is consistent or predictable to not trigger their anxious attachment or their Ne Nemesis. Anyways, would be interesting for you guys to discuss the topic of attachment styles, and how both of your childhoods or caretaker relationships affected your current relationship with each other! I love hearing both of your perspectives, and it was a nice and entertaining video. Hope for more content where you both discuss other psychological or relationship topics from both of you guys perspectives!
Yes, that would be super fascinating! I'm an INTJ who has INFJs close to me so I'd also love to know more about that.
You are definitely onto something with attachment styles affecting this dynamic. My anxious attachment is something I’ve spent years trying to heal (and I can honestly say I have been successful) and Will’s style seems to be quite secure. I suspect our dynamic would not work if he did not provide that secure base, and if I hadn’t spent years taking responsibility for, and healing, my anxious style. My Ne nemesis was definitely working overdrive in previous relationships where partners were not secure. As an INTJ with a disorganized attachment style, have you figured out what types might be best for you in a relationship?
While INTJ are known as the mastermind (best at navigating the real world to get what they want) [I have an ISTJ bother and he just does what he wants], INFJ are actually better at seeing how best to do things (via Ni-Ti loop). INFJ vision is more radical than an INTJ vision. Also, don't think a feeler is less developed or important than a thinker. Robots think, humans feel. INFJ has best balance of thinking and feeling, which gives special powers.
I once called a coworker nurse “neurotic”. In time I realize she has reasons to be. She was going through a lot with son. Mothers have a lot on their plate.
34:34 This part is so cute. ❤ Wishing you two so much love and laughter.
Katie I’m an INFJ female and when I listen to you I feel like I’m looking in the mirror. I have two sons with severe autism and I recovered from my autoimmune condition which I was told by my probably INTJ doctor was incurable. He told me to not waste my time on the patterns I was seeing because it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. But God via my intuition led me to that needle. Yet the whole time I had to sit at the feet of scientists and scientific research online in secret once in a while coming out to ask what they considered stupid questions. I appreciate Stephanie Senef’s work and I read all of it because I’ve pretty much read everything out there related to autism. Her theories are true for a certain subgroup of autism and they will always be able to discredit her because what she is sharing will only help a portion of people suffering from severe autism and or autoimmunity. But those people matter. My subgroup is affected by different pesticides that impact acetaldehyde pathways in the body and lead to a specific kind of autism interstitial cystitis and Parkinson’s. After I tested my theory on myself and recovered from severe interstitial cystitis I was horrified to find the works of several scientists who had already proven what I was saying but their work was just buried and serving no practical purpose to those who are voiceless and in pain. We needed niacin and retinoic acid and it had already been shown that these nutrients via the acetaldehyde dehydrogenase enzyme help synthesize the progenitor cells necessary to sustain the bladders protective lining. Retinoic acid deficiency causes the gut to hyper absorb oxalate another major factor in Interstitial Cystitis. I now have a normal healthy bladder. Please keep following your intuition on these things while broadening your scientific knowledge. Do not confine yourself to the windowless room of the scientist and mainstream medicine. I pray that men who are able to humble themselves and let their gift of logic serve others gift of intuition will rise up and find real solutions that actually reach the people and relieve the suffering of women and children. I want to give my children what has helped me find relief but a logical doctor and exhusband are holding them hostage in agony continuing to insist there is no evidence based solution for our problem. It’s pure arrogant evil from people who are too low in neuroticism to be moved by the cries of pain of those who are suffering.
Stream of consciousness
3:46 INTJ and INFJ couple of 10 years here. 10 years later, and just recently, I learned to not use Te (presume, induct, cold) for all conflicts and instead apply Fe-Ti (listen and understand, compassion). Flow and orient. Orient and flow. Reality operates a certain way, flow with it. Don't try to force your entire will onto it.
@@katiemarie8899 Well... I see others suggesting that he learns the cognitive functions, I think it'd be very beneficial to at least gain a conceptual understanding. For me it clicked after becoming spiritual recently LOL. This "Flow and orient. Orient and flow. Reality operates a certain way, flow with it. Don't try to force your entire will onto it" is carrying a lot of weight for me. And also, I suppose I got tired of making the same mistakes for 10 years xD!!!
I'm essentially trying to attune to reality for the purpose of gaining insights by operating in a mode that attempts to reflect how reality operates. As above, so below. As within, so without. Reality doesn't have to conform to me, I must conform to reality, then it will allow me some sway xD
For the record, these are new insights to me and they haven't really been battle tested yet. Not sure how I'll fare in the real world.
----
Edit:
LMAOOO, actually, you reminded me of my repulsive attitude towards emotions in arguments/discussions ~6 years ago. I had to realize and tell myself that it's also a source of information and that I should attend to it properly. Still, I had some sort of disdain for it until recently. The feeling still lingers and I pacify it by keeping the cosmic perspective (macro) in mind.
Curious if this is unique to myself. My partner had to spend a lot of time unpacking (Ti-ing) my feelings in our arguments for me. If I'm interpreting this right, I could not Ti my own feelings for the life of me xD. I've come to realize how strong my Fi is.
37:16 "Dissecting and looking at things conceptually, that's being alive to me." Yesss!!
38:45 Wowz, that must've been heart breaking. "Can you stop asking why?"
49:27 loool, it appears our roles swaps between our relationships. In our case, I'm the one who's in the rabbit holes finding macro patterns and is excited to share, while she's the one who's more likely to criticize and pushback xD. Edit: actually, she just mentioned that she has rabbit holes she hasn't shared with me. So I may only feel this way because I have the tendency to go down rabbit holes and be excited to share.
50:00 Ohhh, you're talking about the rising rates of autoimmune disorders... I'm sure you've gone down the rabbit hole of the vxzeens :) Stephanie Seneff said other things as well about a recent and popular medical intervention xD
51:31 Hm! Sounds like you haven't gone down the vxzeens rabbit hole!
55:15 "And that looks cool!" Creation happens at the edge of order and chaos. Too much order, you cannot change. Too much chaos, you have no form. The edge is referred to as the edge of criticality, and it's self organized by the interactions of order and chaos themselves. The environment is always evolving, especially as technology accelerates and we enter phase transitions. Constraints change, forms change. An evolving environment requires an evolving cognition. Heraclitus was right, everything is in flux, all is in flow. _Nothing/no thing_ is forever.
I hope you two are able to become fully integrated
My thoughts: I have gone down the autoimmune rabbit hole you mentioned but intentionally did not say it in the video for reasons I’m sure you understand. If it took you ten years to learn Fe-Ti I might be doomed 😂 edge of criticality.. recently learned how this manifests in biological neural networks too. Similar rabbit holes eh? Pray 4 me that we integrate 😩
@@katiemarie8899 yesss, the edge is everywhere there is.. creation? Going to look into what your referring about neural networks.
Ahahaha yesss, we had tried so many approaches. She would always say to me, don’t do things just to check off boxes and that I needed to change my mindset. Well, it didn’t take me 10 years to learn it, it took me that long to value it. Maybe my Fe was just too underdeveloped! Though I gotta say, I’m not sure if I could’ve turned out this way if I hadn’t gone down the rabbit holes I mentioned to you in your video on Christianity. In a nutshell: "The first gulp from the beaker of knowledge estranges us from God, but at the bottom of the glass God is waiting for him who seeks."
NOW do the same thing with your Enneagram types, and then your primary Love Languages. I personally see those, based more on values than behaviors, as so much more useful for romantic partners seeking harmony than a test meant primarily for office workers aiming to improve group efficiency. I still found this a helpful, enlightening video--as a negotiation and conflict resolution specialist (though more on the international level of mediating civil wars and negotiating arms control agreements) AND a hopeful romantic... plus an INFJ!
Well, this has been refreshing. Watching & Learning, the exploration of Spherical Paths ( was connecting to me how my Brain 🧠 works, & then how my heart ♥️ works. Inspiring to see such a young couple w/ individual wisdoms & intellectuals be brave, vulnerable, Strong to share as examples of process’s for growth & Discovery. I truly enjoyed & was captivated by this segment of a quick painting into your lives meshing together! I will excitingly share this with all my family & friends, colleagues! All before a cup of coffee ! Lol, I’ve got Stamina 😊Thank you, Kindly.
To the question at the end:
I am an INFJ so i am less research and more interested and intuition focused in my opinions. So i agree i am more vision that researcher.
I think you need to have a visionary to lead the idea that starts the research because the idea and results can better something which is what sparks us to start as visionary. then pair up with a research to prove and develop and use logic to prove the theory or idea so the hypothesis can prove itself and actually take roots.
So personally i think the vision comes first then the research is needed or it will just be an idea. And i usually just sit with the idea and it never gets anywhere from there. So working together with a research focused person would be the ultimate power couple if they can both balance the other out when to eager but also allow themself to lean into their strengths as you have the other person to have their backs at their weak point. Just an epic power couple if done right, but without understanding and willingness to work together on their differences they will clash and not work out. Which is personally why i think the INTJ and INFJ relationship combo is so underrated as they with either clash or thrive depending on exactly that, their willingness to work on the relationship to give it that strong foundation.
(ENFP) Having the 'Ne' form of complex pattern recognition, my bias would be to encourage you to stick with the Zoom-out lense for as long as it takes to see ALL the possibilities, & make all of the connections first. It's important not to 'marry' one idea too soon & become blinkered. Leave that to the cross-checkers & natural "zoom-in" folk. We need both in this world.... Thanks for making such an interesting vid! :)
Good to see you back on TH-cam. I also am infj. That was what I was the first time I took the test; the second time I took it I was slightly different. But I don't remember my second round result. First time I was about 24 or 25; second time around 40.
Hi, I just stumbled upon your channel, and I must say, I'm a HUGE fan!
Conflict is normal in any relationship, the strength of a relationship is determined by how you overcome conflict
I wanted to answer question whether you should use your Te to become like him. I would say; not to become like him, but to balance and optimize your Ti in a greater way.
Months ago, I had an epiphany about balance. There must be a balance for things, a holistic function that works in unison with other topics. In this case, utilizing our preference functions with our shadow functions. Our shadow functions can help us to take in account of our blindspots. Like how Ni sees a single point, but Ne will help broaden the horizon so Ni can make a much more accurate conclusion. If we use all of our functions in a healthy manner, we will become a more well-rounded person. So take the same principle with Te and your Ti, then utilize them along with your Ni. See where that will lead you. You might be surprised with what you find at the end of the road.
I am an INFJ in the beginning of a relationship with an INTJ and i would love to hear about the early relationship stage between you two, good and bad, like what was your perception and perspective as you meet and started your relationship. Like how did your perceive the other person, what was early bumps in the road or endearments early on.
Are there any needs in the relationship that you work around. Like INFJ need alone time and respecting that etc. any things an INTJ need for themself or from their partner.
I think I have the answer to your question, at the end of the video, “longer vision” vs “accuracy”,… just add to the equation the time variable. So it depends on how much time you have for the analysis. Rather than deciding if you should shorten your vision to gain accuracy or keep the long term vision and accept the potential pitfalls, rather develop the ability to gage how much time you have for the analysis. It sounds simple, but in the many years I have been working with people I don’t see many with this ability. … I loved your video, I’m an INFJ too.
I really enjoyed watching both of you talking(it is not my first time watching the whole video 😅). I hope you make more videos like that or just discuss some ideas with each other ), It is gonna be so inspiring. 🤩
Wish you both all the best 💌
As someone trying to confirm if im an infj and then listening to the infj go off on a tangent passionately about the same subjects and ideas I enjoy really made me feel like I was hearing myself.
I have taken the MB twice: the first time was about 30 years ago and I was deemed INTJ and the second time was recently and I was deemed INFJ.
Hi Katie, fellow INTJ Here!!! Check out blood types. Look for positive/ negative blood types, check out differences.
It would be cool to hear you two discuss an idea/topic since you both share that Ni function.
Also, I agree you two are adorable! good video
He is Strong in the logical sense and she is strong in the balancing harmonies factor.
You should rely on each others strengths.
As a fellow INFJ woman I don't understand how someone isn't neurotic. Lol and I started laughing out loud when she hesitated before saying her number cuz we infjs already know lol y'all are so cute
I feel seen & understood, an INFJ here myself! Thanks guys 🤍
Would love to hear what both your love languages are and how they affect your relationship. Maybe a video on your attachment styles as well. Thank you!
You guys are each others equals in strengths. You guys are growing :). I would say that you guys both have the same bandwidth for patience for others and just it’s ok to clash: hang in there. Conflict is necessary for vulnerability and deep love: you don’t need to solve all of it. My husband is an INFJ and I’m an ENFP. It takes time.:. You guys both have Ni though so hey..: just because you can see how the chess plays out doesn’t mean that it will go that way. Get into the sensory again to connect too. I have the most fun in the sensory world with INFJs and INTJs… I’m serious it’s the best goofy ridiculous stuff. You all are heavy hitters are personality types so you will experience more intensity. Don’t use your Fe to judge it INFJ. I know you will but trust the Fi INTJ here….let some of that Fe Ti go. Chill chill… you guys are going to go through a lot of stuff together… INFJ…. No offense INTJ… you’re still a God when it comes to academics but listen the INFJ when their Ti develops fully… they are actually much more intelligent. Oh man, I want to be your child haha: like perfect parents dude. Hey, go to Paris for a while… I’m serious go have fun…. You just A+. You are there. Man eugenics I hate that concept but damnit the perfect people do exist 😂. I love you guys. Try to tell those inner critics to chill. I’m pretty sure your abilities to debrief and imagine a world that is different from any issue that you will face: please combine forces and save the world. When’s the wedding. Sorry. Just, I love this pairing. My two favorite types together. Literally dying right now… please have children. Yep, that’s not weird to say. So adorable, shipped my God. He’s not agreeable…. INTJs are not agreeable. But that’s how they can remain objective. No, 1 is accurate. I love you guys and the tribe is very chill for you but it’s the masculine assertive INTJ suave I’m kind of ass, but with my people my fi people… he would die for you. Oh my gawd I would die to see this pair succeed. Ok maybe not that. But like oh wow, I just feel like I’m witnessing a shooting star nebula that happens once a millennia. Oh my gosh you guys. I do, you do we all do right. Holy crap, bursting ENFP heart right here. I’m dying this is too much. My heart just exploded. Please have at least four children: what is happening to me… my brain just melted. Oh my gawd. Just oh my freakin’ . How did you find each other? I find all of the ixxjs, but like wow. That’s why this is so freaky to watch. Just someone pinch me. Sigh. Wow. Also, the autism thing… I can say since our families have a lot of Aspergers… one thing that causes it is that all of the intuitives are going to grad school and reproducing, that’s a huge study happening in England. Also, yes heavy metal poisoning is for sure hurting our guts and sort of hard to decipher chicken, or egg of like were we all just predisposed to autoimmune system issues and the increased heavy metals in our soils, water etc environmental issues is that causing an increase in the prevalence of these diseases…. But, the research and data will take like 50 years to catch up to that and to become canon. There’s no way that we can say that there is a causational relationship there. Be careful how you phrase it, when you make conclusions agreed there. But hypothesis about how things are effecting humans in a variable world is exactly why the medical community exists at all. :). You two and your synergy. I’m dying please save us :).
Great video, it's illuminating to see a side-by-side interaction between a fellow INFJ (provisional in my case) and an INTJ in an intimate relationship analysed so well- you two are gonna be great together, I foresee 🔮 a bright future 😉.
My own INFJness has largely been suppressed from childhood trauma, my Fe seems to have been mangled through early attachment injury and manipulation, so my Ti function seems to have become more relied upon and Fe mistrusted, and I am aware (now) that in many ways I would probably be perceived more like an INTJ by others. That said to say this:
The difference between Ti (INFJ tertiary function- "logic") and Te (INTJ secondary function- "evidence") while appearing similar and not mutually exclusive, are quite different in how they present- Ni/Ti tends to model a conclusion based on "if this, then this", "yes/no", step by step connections and falsification while Ni/Te seems to be more reliant on and trusting of established "facts", accepted knowledge, and empirical data. An INFJ attempting to become more data-driven can often become overwhelmed by the tendency toward Ni/Ti looping (and because Te is our "blind" 7th "shadow" function), whereas INTJs corresponding "loop" is Ni/Fi, with Fe being "blind", and Ti being 6th of 8 in their stack, so they can become very "faithful" to data and trust the map and their own dedocation to their plan based upon it rather than adjusting to the terrain itself. Each way of being has its potential pitfalls, and personally I find managing large amounts of data very taxing, but once I have internalized a concept and validated it with Ti, it's mine forever. Both can be improved, but the approach is important.
There seems (to me) to be some link between neuroticism and conscientiousness , and overwhelm - high neuroticism may be linked with Fe "empathy" and make INFJs more vulnerable, and overwhelm can absolutely OBLITERATE our conscientousness - "doorslam", Se "grip", depression, etc. INTJs likely have some similar reactions, but I don't understand the source of overwhelm as well for them. I'd be curious to know both your thoughts.
Thanks for this, it gave me something else for my Ni/Ti loop to chew on for awhile, and added another piece or two to my own puzzle. Sulfuration pathways huh? Good to know! And I think you're onto something worth pursuing- the Romans served wine and food from lead vessels, accepting it as "safe" and a mark of status and wealth ; lead exposure wasn't identified as a cause of brain damage until 2000 years later. Hopefully it won't take us as long to get a clue about mercury, aluminum, glysophate, and other toxins.
My best to you both, thanks!
As an entp male, i was really put off by agreeableness 1. I know you can spin it any way you like, but that seems like he isn’t taking responsibility for his feelings. Such a huge disparity between agreeableness will create friction over time. My recommendation is for him to really study psychology for a bit, get clear on his emotions, and incorporate his emotions more, because to me it shows that his Fi is undeveloped and even quite possibly hostile (only receiving but not giving) Fi is supposed to be a caring function, not a been taken care for function. That is just my logical interpretation. Sometimes a bit of cut throat logic that no one has asked for, but if you want to stay together without the fe feeling of loneliness, you need fi that is at least somewhat developed
Im also not confident when he is confronted by this grade. Instead of “i wanna change that” he says ahw it doesn’t matter. Well it does. That is a redilously low score, and one that is life defining. Either you got good arguments or you own up to it and take responsibility
To the girl in the video, i wanna be very direct. Are you over explaining his behavior. Watch it back, and watch how you answer the questions he needs to answer. That is part of your over-agreeableness. Let him explain himself.
Omg the tephlon pan thing is so frickin cute and funny. That's awesome 😎
Being and INFJ myself, I've been very suspicious of glyphosate for around 25 years. Once I feel something is very likely to be "the cause" of any large scale problem....especially when I know I don't stand any chance of "proving it"..even to myself....I just become very intentional about not only avoiding exposure to that thing...but always...continually...taking in whatever additional data comes along...for my Ni to do it's "Ni thing". After all this time, my hunch has not lessened any...and I still try to buy either organic or "non-gmo" products...and especially in wheat products because I also have a very strong and long lasting hunch that it's not "mere gluten" that so many celiacs are reacting to, but rather glyphosate-ridden gluten. I was having a lot of joint inflammation when I used to eat refined carbs (mostly products made from white flour) on a regular basis. I then stopped eating those things and my inflammation subsided....Then...(because I really love bread!) I decided to try making my own bread with organic flour....no inflammation!!!!....and then because organic flour is expensive...I thought I'd see if merely "non-gmo" flour would be sufficient...and it has been! (Bob's Red Mill makes both) I'm not going to promise the same results for true celiac disease...but I will admit the thought has crossed my mind more than once that this whole "gluten intolerance" explosion may just be a misunderstanding. It may be a "glyphosate intolerance" instead.
This is so encouraging to read!! I am exactly the same.. have a hunch, can’t “prove it,” adjust my life to that belief. And friends/family tend to think I’m making it up in my head. I don’t care! This makes me curious about how I might react to organic flour. Apparently wheat has some of the highest amounts of glyphosate because it’s sprayed to “kill” it early and dry it up for harvest. I am currently reading Stephanie Seneff’s book about glyphosate and I just cannot believe this stuff is still used on our food.
@@katiemarie8899Yes wheat is known for being one of the most glyphosate ridden foods. Must be mostly genetically modified to be "round-up ready". It wouldn't surprise me if Monsanto/Bayer are just powerful enough to manipulate their way out of accountability by claiming it's all about the gluten...but of course, this is just another "hunch".
I followed this hunch because my intuition rarely fails me. In the mean time, I have had no more inflammation and it's been over 10 years since I did.....and this is the one main thing I changed. I realize how "unscientific" this is, but like you "I don't care"! I do think science needs strong Ni types to generate hypotheses.
Just as you stated, I don't think we (INFJs) have the patience for full engagement in the long... arduous...slow...detailed... scientific process ...but I think strong, well-functioning Ni may be the best cognitive function for coming up with "what to consider" (which tree to bark up, so to speak :)
As another INFJ, I know this to be true with my INFJ spidey sense
Ok, I’m back I figured something out, when the INFJ listens they do it with their eyes. Like, sure it’s the INFJ soul stare thing, but like they are focusing on the people and then bringing forth their inner counsel. The INTJ does this weird like thing where they Ni stare off while running through logical lists or whatever they are referencing in their heads and a lot of the interactions with INTJs are very specific head like movements that do most of the communicating which is mostly listening and then when they pinpoint what they are pretty sure that you’re going to say they side smile and are like they are flipping through Music Records in a used book store like yep know that, know that, that’s new, know that. Then when they use those light floppy hand movements they are like in a flow state of listening, or talking. I know this is probably like Socionics, or whatever it’s called. But, yeah I feel like I can recognize these two types just from their eye, hand and head movements when they listen or talk. Like in ten seconds. I know this choreography….. it makes me feel like I already know them. Tis creepy, but real.
Wow! I am INFJ and my boyfriend is INTJ. I am also a therapist and he is an engineer lol
I'm so curious as to whether or not they still together. She hasn't posted in over a year, and that makes me wonder if she's doing that thing that we do where we disheartening from the world to figure things out. Love and light to then both, I know full well how it is to have a balance between these though they are believed to be compatible 💛
I love these videos🖤
An INTJs way of thinking is based on rationale, reasoning and justification. While an INFJs way of thinking is based on boolean logical true/false thinking that leads to a subjective truth. Logic and rationale must work together to find the accurate truth, as you need the perspectives of others (Te) and the analysis of your own (Ti) to be able to reason and induce a truth, because life is often unclear. The absolute truth is hard to get but I think to answer your question, as an INFJ, I think you should balance out and develop your Te function instead of pairing up with someone who has higher logic, and you can do this I guess by adopting your INTJ boyfriends objective thinking, or at least be aware of your own faults (Te Trickster), because I think INFJs can get stuck in confirmation bias, as being in a Ni-Ti loop of envisioning the absolute best truth, and refusing to listen to other perspectives can often misguide you, but can also lead to the truth as well. So an INFJ should stick to their strengths, be aware of their weaknesses and pair up with someone who can cover those weaknesses, like an INTJ xD. Anyways nice video! Really enjoyed it and hope for more videos!
I strongly suggest you watch some Franl James videos together. He has delved a lot into our dominant functions and hiw they czn steer us wrong, but also how when everything is going wrong we fall back on our other functions as a default and hiw that can make things worse. He's usually quite hilarious about it. He also is an INFJ, so he has multiple vids talking about how INFJs tend to sabotage relationships and how other types misunderstand us or assume our motivations incorrectly.
I may be breaking open doors here, but I notice a lot of comments from INFJ females that are with INTJ males, like your combo which is honestly optimal, but the very lack of the opposite which is in my opinion completely logical.
A female INTJ would rarely have the patience for an INFJ male. And looking at the typical male/female dynamics traits and what society would expect from them, it is an unlikely pairing.
In the end, INTJ girls will settle for a partner even if it's not completely optimal, because women have the power to choose. Or end up being alone by choice, because they feel it's better to be alone than with someone that's not right for them.
On the other hand the INFJ male is the ultimate black duck in the MBTI, and likely will end up a lone wolf, because he has no other option, or very few, sadly. It's not that he doesn't want to connect with others, it just others that fail to connect at his level of depth.
Oh well, dogs are cool, and their love is without boundaries.
I agree on the INTJ female will hardly ever stay paired with an INFJ male. There are always exceptions to the rule, as there was one example in these comments , but as I'm sure you have seen, most of the pairings in these comments are INFJ(F)/INTJ(M). Too bad, because I think an INTJ female could be happy with an INFJ male if they both invested the time in understanding the cognitive functions.
Like any pairing, none are perfect. I think there are a lot of possibilities for an INFJ male, so don't despair.
Hey Katie..I cannot tell you how eagerly I was waiting for you to have another conversational video of your Infj-Intj relationship dynamic. I am an Infj too who is exploring the potentiality of this an infj and intj relationship. Is there any way I can connect to you through instagram or any other social platform?
Thanks and Love to you both❤❤
Hi! Love to you as well, hope your infj-intj relationship experience is going well
You should go for it - fellow INFJ with an INTJ for 2+ years
Wow. I am not the most agreeable person at all because I'm quite the introvert and lone wolf. Yet I also identify as an EMPATH. Someone who shares my empathic traits, though it needn't be as strongly, might well be the primary thing I seek in a partner. I'm not even sure I could *respect* (and thus couldn't love) someone with a 1 in agreeableness. Does he not like to tip in certain situations where it's expected? Just curious how one ends up with that kind of score...
I’m an INTJ girl, if you are an INTJ like me just try to avoid whoever has an ISTP personality and your life will be so much easier. And meet an INFJ (which I didn’t meet yet😢..)
Yes.
Katie you are cool
Isn't a major flaw of the Big 5 that they don't discriminate between different circumstances wrt how the 5 characteristics manifest? For example, in certain situations, a person may have little neuroticism, in others, lots. I have long suspected the choice of Big % over MBTI with many professionals and Jordan Peterson is because the characteristics in the Big 5 translate more simply and usefully to corporate performance rather than self empowerment and life satisfaction (MBTI), and that the Big 5 seem more of a choice than a fixed psychology which MBTI suggests.
Did y’all break up??? It says friendship now.
Force fitting is a lesson that must be learned to ascend. A karmic soul tie isn’t a soulmate but necessary. Opposites attract but free will to choose what kind of opposite is beneficial to soul growth. People come into our lives to teach us who we really are. Stay on the right path to avoid unrequited relationships of any kind. Toxic relationships are dime a dozen. Look for the signs. Be patient and love yourself first. People fake intentions all the time. Study energy and energy manipulation. Good luck. For me, as an INFJ, if I don’t have a strong 5D connection first, there won’t be a 3D. Bless you☝🏻
You disappeared! This is the only video I found on two types,and well my combination didn't work out that well. Can you update us? INTJ really messed me up lol, I had a feeling he liked me until he didn't. I was told we,as INFJ's are very critical and judging but oh boy,but if thats so - then you haven't met INTJ. Cold,just dgaf attitude.
He's 1% agreeableness which means he is a gangster he walked through life as a gangster
The fact that he says that he should take the test over and over again to figure out the average is disagreeableness 100%
Has anyone ever told y'all that you kinda resemble Hermione and Harry Potter? 🙂 Regarding you being more open (97 vs 91), he might catch up to you one day. I'm 55 and although my degrees are in science, I've been into ALL the New Age stuff since Junior High school and into Law of Attraction for 20 years and witchcraft for a couple of years now (the positive kind - green and hedge witchcraft). We INTJs can definitely get "out there"! We Ni doms LOVE that abstract! We get so bored with the mundane. I think I'm actually more like Katie with the abstract stuff than Will...maybe because I'm older now and have tapped into my feeling function well enough that I trust that side of myself, which is part of Katie's ability to make those leaps. It's not all about intuition. Sometimes it's trusting our feelings. Will's not quite there yet. It's good to try to go back and look for the evidence too though.
I was not aware that MBTI and Big5 maps. I am an INTJ male and he has pretty much the same scores as me on Big5. 99C , 0 A, 1 N
I divorced an STPD ☝🏻
It all makes sense, since he is INTJ ego (towards the rest of the world) but ESFP subconscious (towards you, unless you trigger his ego). At least this is what I've understood from the INTJ cognitive functions thus far.
Very interesting! Id love to know more
This is me ( INFJ) and my son ( INTJ) 20 years on 😅
You should be happy that this INTJ is more human😂. I’m an INTJ and I can tell you that, INTJ smiling and able to communicate well is very rare, due to our cognitive makeup.
Hi! I’m wondering where I can find the initial overview video you referenced at the start. Thank you!
Idk if y’all are a couple but y’all are really cute smiling together
Ok “relationship”. I heard.
I decided to do the test while listening to your video out of curiosity and felt like I had a deja vu. Felt so weird but calm in the same time.
Got: O - 90%, C - 58%, E - 33%, A - 46%, N - 44% (not sure how to interpret it tho)
Wholesome video.
What is the test?
Hi, Katie. You mentioned here that you work as a therapist. Do you offer these services virtually to those who do not live in your area? I have watched all of you videos and truly don't believe there could be a therapist in existence that could understand me better and that could offer better insights into myself on my journey of growth and self-acceptance. I *completely* understand if that is not something offered. Best wishes and thank you so much, truly, for these videos. I feel so seen.
I thought "conscientious" means doing what you believe to be morally right or maybe empathetic. This COULD include being committed and giving a task your all, but that's only when you believe those to be the proper way of doing things.
Gosto de ouvi eles. O tempo passa muito rápido.
Does anyone remember what was the song Katie Marie once made a music video to?
As an INFJ male, I can tell you that you can't hold out for an INFJ male. First of all, there are very few of us. All of the supposed INFJ males on the internet, none of them are real. They are attracted to being an INFJ since they are so rare, especially males, since most INFJs are female. The only INFJ I know is a female. There are some females on the internet, including yourself. You have to decide what it is that you really want. The male you have is a fine male, but you will never be able to teach him about what you know or are interested in. I am aware about how to deal with INTJs, but they are incapable of dealing with your reality. INFJ males would either be a monk, not Catholic, or your Guardian. They will not be your lover. You should pursue your INFJ interests , specifically the spiritual and metaphysical parts, but I suggest you keep them your secrets, If you wish to make a life with an INTJ.
Fellow INFJ who developed Celiac in my early 20s here 🙃
That's strange other videos say they hit it off pretty well
my grandfather have aspergers syndrome, my father have mild autism and i also have asd .i want to know how this developmental disorder came in our family gene pool.and i also want to know if two neurotypical individual (with no autism history in theri family ) planned to have a baby .is their any chance their baby can have developmental disorder like autism. if yes then how a healthy mother and father with healthy genes make baby with defected genes. from where this defected genes in their baby came from.
(sorry for my english)
i am an intj suffering form asperger's syndrome
have you found there to be significant overlap between INTJ traits and ASD? I've seen this discussed many times.
@@katiemarie8899 I’m curious about this too. I also wonder about ADHD
yeah i am aware of what you are saying@@katiemarie8899
Jealous male INFJ here.
Yeah, we kind of have it hard, don’t we? Lol