Any INTJ Ladies who see this (or anyone else): I have a free community: Master your mindset, get clarity, control, confidence. Free courses and resources www.skool.com/change
ENFJ with well developed inferior functions,. Intj. I'm hearing that the Olympics is a scam, I thought you Olympians made your money on the sponsored events.
@@valeriej291 hahaha the best! Yea I hate the question like, oh what did you do today? I’m like, in the real world? The same thing I pretty much do every every day 🤔 I get my coffee, I go to training and then I spend the rest of the time working on something I’m working on (alone)or just a lot of time in my head- doesn’t sound interesting but I LOVE my life hahahaha. And then pray they don’t ask me if I want to go do something with them cause I’m gonna say no. Unless it’s one of the 3 people I’ll do that with 😂
I wonder how you managed to not get crazy with 4 kids. I can only speak for myself, but I'm quite happy I don't have kids. It drives me totally crazy to have people around me 24/7. How did you manage to find alone-time (serious question)?
“I PLAN for flexible/unplanned day!” Yeah.. it made total sense. 😂 We have a back up plan for a plan. And another backup plan for the back up plan. Plan for unplanned day? Sure! PRE-plan the chaos? 😂😂😂Absolutely!
Hiya! i'd love if you would consider joining my FREE Skool community which I have just started based around personal growth, authenticity and leveraging your personality, as well as appreciating that of others. I am building out a 5- week authenticity course at the moment which I will have available ABSOLUTELY FREE. Would love members to join and throw around ideas and thoughts on what would be of most value. www.skool.com/change-makers-3729/about
Hiya! i'd love if you would consider joining my FREE Skool community which I have just started based around personal growth, authenticity and leveraging your personality, as well as appreciating that of others. I am building out a 5- week authenticity course at the moment which I will have available ABSOLUTELY FREE. Would love members to join and throw around ideas and thoughts on what would be of most value. www.skool.com/change-makers-3729/about
I got this video recommended as I'm also an INTJ. I discovered I was INTJ in end of 2022 and I had an aha moment recognising myself so much in the personality. I used it as introspection and it helped me understand so much about social interaction and my own way of functioning. It was like reading my own manual to understand myself and people around me. I've always felt like an alien all my life and it explained a lot of things, I could relate to everything that you mentioned. I've also been told similar analogies to the chocolate one haha. Since learning my personality, I became more patient with people in my life and also I got better at social skills. I focused on my weakest functions in 2023 until I was satisfied. Honestly, learning your personality can be so powerful.
Hiya! i'd love if you would consider joining my FREE Skool community which I have just started based around personal growth, authenticity and leveraging your personality, as well as appreciating that of others. I am building out a 5- week authenticity course at the moment which I will have available ABSOLUTELY FREE. Would love members to join and throw around ideas and thoughts on what would be of most value. www.skool.com/change-makers-3729/about
I do actually like dressing up, but in a way that is not time consuming. Like, combine something fancy and black with something fancy and dark purple, add a necklace and some rings and maaaaaybe a minor amount of makeup, and that's it. I like looking at nice things, so it does give me joy to dress well, but it has to be efficient and still functional.
Hiya! i'd love if you would consider joining my FREE Skool community which I have just started based around personal growth, authenticity and leveraging your personality, as well as appreciating that of others. I am building out a 5- week authenticity course at the moment which I will have available ABSOLUTELY FREE. Would love members to join and throw around ideas and thoughts on what would be of most value. www.skool.com/change-makers-3729/about
Hi Kiara, about a year ago I found out I am an INTJ female and I’ve been researching this type on TH-cam since. I relate to this video a lot more so than those generic videos about INTJ females in general. I appreciate you making this video because there aren’t a lot of us who would go through the effort you went through.
@@NoChance-zl3nb thanks so much for your comment, it means a lot! Probably no other time in my life I would have spent the time to do these haha, im in a really great place in my life now - and I think it would have been nice for me when I was younger to see intj women content more. There are a lot of the stereotypes for intj that I think are experienced quite differently for intj women! Let me know if there is anything you’d like to see in future videos!
INTJ female here. I hate shopping unless it’s at Home Depot. I have several dresses, all the same, but different colors and patterns that I wear to work every day. I do my make up (minimal) the same every day. My husband thinks I always have too much on my plate but that relaxes me!
@@Mahilovestea especially as a teenager it’s rare to come across others. The internet is a good place to discover there are others out there who understand naturally how you operate 🫶🏻
Hello, INTJ sister! 👋 I’m all of those things you described, except for the shopping bit. I’ve ALWAYS loved shopping, but it’s for the thrill of the hunt, which I think INTJs can relate to. Now that I can wear Bluetooth headphones all day long & block out conversations that stress out or annoy me, being around people has become exponentially easier-highly recommended for anyone who has to be around people, and feels like a bundle of raw nerves.😳 I love being an INTJ-always have, but it wasn’t until social media came of age & provided explanations for things like personality types & introversion that I gave myself permission to “stop trying,” since I understood that just putting myself out there into the general public won’t necessarily change my odds for meeting someone who gets me. It is, however, easy to meet people online for niche interests & groups, so thank the universe for that! 🙏 🙌 Being a half-century old helps tremendously in being even MORE comfortable in one’s skin, and having the broad, zoomed-out perspective of how we’re just one type in an ecosystem, helps me to stay sane in a world that doesn’t know what to make of me. One tip of many that I have for my fellow INTJs (particularly for younger ones): CREATE YOUR OWN OPPORTUNITIES, IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANY IN YOUR PERIPHERY-you may otherwise end up,waiting a lifetime in vain, since the world is comprised of mostly unaware Sensors, so do your own thing, and don’t be surprised if you have to always be proactive in starting something from scratch, if you want to have projects that you actually care about. As an Ni-dom,,it’s your birthright to visualize & create things that others don’t yet understand, but will get it once it’s in concrete form.
hi @MoPoppins i'd love if you would consider joining my FREE Skool community which I have just started based around personal growth, authenticity and leveraging your personality, as well as appreciating that of others. I am building out a 5- week authenticity course at the moment which I will have available ABSOLUTELY FREE. Would love members to join and throw around ideas and thoughts on what would be of most value. www.skool.com/change-makers-3729/about
@@MoPoppins 💯! I have had to do everything! And I love my life! I really don’t care about what the pack is doing, but if I find something that tickles my fancy I’m like a spazzy, obsessed, puppy… I also feel like I am 5-10 years ahead of everyone else… people have just never been able to see what I do… until they catch up… and then they’re like OOHHHHHHHHH! That’s what you were talking about…
@@JulianaAndersson When we don’t encounter anyone else like ourselves, life can be maddening & alienating, but for those of us who are self-aware & self-possessed, and also aware of archetypes, we don’t have any expectations of others, so life is peaceful from that standpoint. The only other INTJ I’ve probably ever met in person was my high school chemistry teacher, and that was way back in 1991. Despite being a rarity, I always feel the privilege of being an INTJ-we just don’t have the same petty, predictable, mundane problems that most others are preoccupied with. As long as we have control over our time & energy, we can discover new obsessions & follow them for as long as they hold our interest. Every day can be exciting, because we know how to make it so by upping the ante. 😁
Hiya! i'd love if you would consider joining my FREE Skool community which I have just started based around personal growth, authenticity and leveraging your personality, as well as appreciating that of others. I am building out a 5- week authenticity course at the moment which I will have available ABSOLUTELY FREE. Would love members to join and throw around ideas and thoughts on what would be of most value. www.skool.com/change-makers-3729/about
As an INTJ male, watching this video was like watching a video about myself. Everything matches except the dressing part - I like to and always will try to dress well because I think it is what everyone should do and I love myself for doing it. Thanks for your video.
Hiya! i'd love if you would consider joining my FREE Skool community which I have just started based around personal growth, authenticity and leveraging your personality, as well as appreciating that of others. I am building out a 5- week authenticity course at the moment which I will have available ABSOLUTELY FREE. Would love members to join and throw around ideas and thoughts on what would be of most value. www.skool.com/change-makers-3729/about
yes girl u go, i have the same way of thinking being an intj if someone tells me i cant do something i will work harder to prove them wrong that i can in fact do it. Anyone can do what they put their mind into.
Male INTJ here rediscovering my personality type I took the questionnaire when I was a teen and was so fascinated by it then I moved on, and now I'm in my 30s took it again still and INTJ so now I'm relearning about my type and my gf's type. It has been helping me understand the growth that I have experienced lately and how to be a better person and partner. Loved the video and it's great to see female INTJs your even more rare then male INTJs! 😮
Thanks for your Video. I myself identify quite strongly with being an INFP but I really love to see the point if views of INTJs. It is a type I got to learn to know quite well, the straightforward attitude is just the right thing to see sometimes.
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haha the clothes part got me :) I am also "neat" and there is a lot of thought put into it, just it has to be efficient... so foundation - yes, to look better. Any other make up? Never for so many reasons... As for appearing cold... I might have been so in the past. I'm training to become a psychotherapist and over the past years, especially when I learnt how people perceive me (as distanced, depressed, cold... which I was... all of these in fact) I have been trying to appear as approachable... Meanwhile, I've learnt how to assert my boundaries. But I've also learnt how to use intimidation and how to be mean without the other person's ability to put a finger on it. But when I'm kind to someone... I am really kind. I try to be very compassionate and i'm emphatetic. I'm just different than what I used to be like. Also, Im an Aussie but living in Europe my whole life. I've noticed something about other Aussies... I wonder if you have too: they are (ok we, but I'm just mentally ultra European) seemingly easy-going... until they get triggered. And while people from other countries are able to agree to disagree without geting all sulky and proud... Aussies... oh gosh. Any instance of having a different opinion just triggers the heck out of them. It's hell for young INTJs who still don't get "the nuances". Meanwhile, there is a whole bunch of INTJs who mistake being rude and lackign tact/manners for "being honest and speaking the truth". I have some INTJ acquaintances and let me tell you... their love for labels they use for themselves (from INTJ to "autism") just to cover up their being a-holes is astounding. Meanwhile you also mentioned two things that I believe constitute the basis of one problem: romance. You said we like ambition & drive and that we struggle with relationships. Well... I bet it's not just me who struggles in relationships MOSTLY because the people don't match up to my standard in terms of e.g. being hard working, driven, ambitious without being a narcy a-hole again... What do you think, Kiara? :)
There was once a guy who thought he was in love with me-a lot of people apparently conflate or confuse liking the way you make them feel, via the way you treat THEM, vs. actually liking you as a person. Fortunately, I inherently understand that if they have ZERO interest in getting to know me, it’s impossible for them to even be my friend. Anyway, so this guy once asked me, probably after pondering on his own why I might not care whether someone expresses interest in me, “You would date YOURSELF, wouldn’t you?” Or something to that effect. That was VERY insightful and accurate! 🤣 Interesting way to put it, but I think we INTJ females would agree that WE do meet our own standards, and very few else.
Psychotherapy is cool! Glad you’re getting into it! For the relationship front I would suggest it’s just a time thing, there is no rush to find someone, for me anyway - which can be difficult when you’re younger and seeing everyone seemingly easily relate to others and create relationships. While it’s true there are many healthy relationships that start young, there are also many very unsatisfying and unhealthy relationships people get into - for an INTJ female, or me at least, it’s not worth disrupting independence and freedom unless a partner is willing to hold the relationship (not necessarily the person) to the same standard and effort of everything else special and important in life. (Which means both people working to understand how to enrich each others lives, not just be a part of it) I think this just come from maturity from both sides so relationships tend to come later in life.
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@@Jettset2019 haha it all makes sense! 😂 Feel free to jump in our free community, I didn’t originally intend it but I’m collecting many INTjs 😅 - its full of free courses and resources for mindset that I wish I had 5 or 10 years ago skool.com/change
Hiya! i'd love if you would consider joining my FREE Skool community which I have just started based around personal growth, authenticity and leveraging your personality, as well as appreciating that of others. I am building out a 5- week authenticity course at the moment which I will have available ABSOLUTELY FREE. Would love members to join and throw around ideas and thoughts on what would be of most value. www.skool.com/change-makers-3729/about
This is indeed very heartwarming and very wonderful and very beautiful and very helpful and this brings back such great memories of when I use to be a 90s kid and an early 2000s kid and I am a new subscriber as well:).
Hiya! i'd love if you would consider joining my FREE Skool community which I have just started based around personal growth, authenticity and leveraging your personality, as well as appreciating that of others. I am building out a 5- week authenticity course at the moment which I will have available ABSOLUTELY FREE. Would love members to join and throw around ideas and thoughts on what would be of most value. www.skool.com/change-makers-3729/about
As an intj, I met an enfp who was pleading with me not to think I had to do it alone. I still think of them a lot and wonder what they meant. All I know is they got me out of a very dark loop just by existing.
Thank you for such an informative video! Everything that you just said is spot on with this girl INTJ who I'm interested in, but right now just trying to befriend. She also has a rather tough shell to break through. Just curious, but in your opinion does persistence pay off when trying to befriend an INTJ female?
@@RockofOTown if it comes across needy it will likely turn her completely off. If you “try” to do anything it may come across as trying to manipulate or be disingenuous. Just be yourself, I know for me at least, I adore people who are authentic and self-sufficient. I take a long time to decide if I’ll invest my time in spending time with someone, it takes quite a while to warm up. So persistence does pay off in a sense that you are consistent with who you are, and I am not “required” in anyway to entertain you. If you are happy and respectful of my answers to your invitations I’ll likely warm up over time. If she gets more and more cold or distant though, I’d recommend just leaving it be haha. Hope that helps!
@@CoachKiara Thank you for your detailed reply and advice! Much appreciated. I have heard that with INTJs it's best to just be direct and not beat around the bush. Maybe I should just tell her how I feel. I thought about doing it with a letter because there is so much that I want to say. I just don't know how it will be received since I have heard that INTJs aren't the most romantic type, as you also pointed out in your video.
@@RockofOTown if you are not close already, directly with how you feel will definitely make her an awkward turtle. even if she did like you, likely she wouldnt know how to process that right away or how she should behave. Sharing feelings is not the directness we are talking about here haha. (for me) it would feel like there is an expectation attached to reading that letter that i would need to respond to. The directness is in the sense that we say what we mean and mean what we say - so if you ask questions in a general sense to get to know each other with no expectations of romance then that is comfortable and the most engaging way to understand each other. Don't try and search for hidden meaning of what we want. If you are already close to an intj, and she trusts you, she'll pop up more around you and give you her time. Unless you are an ENTP, my suggestion is have patience and just stick to a friendship. If she's interested she will let you know eventually haha
@@RockofOTown haha well in that case I have no idea! For some reason those guys can just work out how to charm me without me quite understanding it 😂 curiosity and intelectual debates intrigue me. Again, just be patient and be you. You’ll be fine haha.
Watching all those INTJ women on youtube, and I am starting to see a morphological pattern in our facial details, so much so that I think I could identify an INTJ woman if I see one on the street. Am I the only one?
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Wait so if i date an intj, theyll give me space to grind on my skillsets, as an entp? And they will be social enough with me when I want have a deep conversation and some fun? What problems and what positives will entail an entp-intj relationship from your pov? Given that they are both healthy, successful in their careers….
@@haniyehsheibani if both healthy and good communicators I think it would be a great partnership 🤗 problems would be if they can’t appreciate each others differences, or if either remain too stubborn on their pov, though I tend to believe the connection between these two types comes from their differences in how they see the world and the intrigue that comes with that. Hard to get bored with someone who thinks so differently yet also understands everything you say haha
@@CoachKiara one thing to add, is I adore patterns and dynamics.. I call toxic relational dynamics TeRDs, for short… I see connections everywhere and symbolism where a lot of people tell me they didn’t see it until I mentioned it… also.. on being alone… I’m not sure I would say that I like to be alone as much as I need a lot of alone time…. lol.. probably the same thing… lol.. but I would say that I love hanging out more with the non-human kind of life, being out in nature. Being extremely visual, I have always felt like the matrix, with 30 lines of code going at any given moment… so much stuff to think about… I also have synesthesia… I experience my senses as mixed.. almost all the time… I am very sensitive to everything… I get overwhelmed and have to lay down in the dark for an hour or two until I get everything organized… and processed… then I can “merge back in with traffic”… Idk if that’s an INTJ thing or what… I haven’t heard much on the spiritual front regarding INTJ… I’m NOT woo woo spiritual. But I also would characterize myself as an HSP (highly sensitive person)… my internal life is super intense. Idk if any of this makes any sense… lol.. thank you making this video… helped me feel not so alone…
@@JulianaAndersson yea these are the more stereotypical ones I would say, there’s a lot more that goes on with information processing z you might really enjoy exploring more from a guy on TH-cam who understands the cognitive functions super well justcallmejon would highly recommend checking out his videos!
@@CoachKiara please know I was, in no way, criticizing your content… you went pretty deep into the topic.. I don’t think it was stereotypical but then again, I haven’t seen videos on INTJs that I could vibe with cause I think most were male INTJs… women are different even if we think we think like men… you did a great video!
@@JulianaAndersson oh absolutely! No offence taken at all! Just thought I’d share another channel you might enjoy that goes more in depth into the kind of processing you are talking about! 🫶🏻 haha!
Hi Kiara, as I have studied MBTI over the last year, I can see some signs that you may be mistyped. Please correct me if I'm wrong. I myself have been mistyped as an INTJ for over four years and have taken five tests. The problem with most common tests on the internet is that they are "Intuitive"-biased, with questions like "Do you think a lot? Do you have imagination? Are you creative?" or something too generic. The consequence is a community that thinks Sensor types are "stupid." Have you looked at the ISTP description? These are my insights: 1) You speak a lot about how other people perceive you and people's problems (this could be a sign of Fe inferior - ISTP). 2) You excel in sports (which is very unusual for an INTJ, who has Se as the inferior function; their Ni dominance gets them stuck in their head and thinking about future consequences, which is very bad for present-time activities like sports. Indeed, they are usually portrayed as goofy. SPs are usually the best sport/music performers due to their high Se). 3) Independence; yes, as introverts, INTJs tend to be independent, but they are not the most independent type (this is due to their auxiliary function Te, which is a tribe function. You can see a lot of INTJ characters working behind the scenes, controlling people. They isolate themselves, but they try to be part of a community). 4) Clothing; INTJs usually dress for style/fashion. They want to look good and professional, which is because of Te/Fi. Comfort is a characteristic valued more by Sensors (especially ST types), who live in the present moment and can't get over something uncomfortable. You can see them wearing cargo pants, comfy shirts, sport shoes. I think you could be an ISTP (like myself, who has been mistyped as an INTJ for so long because of Ni loop). High organization and discipline can be signs of healthy Ti (ISTP dominant function), probably enneagram 8. Check out "Love Who" here on YT; his descriptions of personalities are the best. Take care
@@lucamontella7309 hi, thanks for the insight. You may pick up a lot of these traits in my language because I have done a lot of work to specifically work on my weaker preferences and seeing the world from the point of view of others for the work that I do. This never used to be the case. Interesting pick ups though! None of those come natural to me haha I’ll def check out your recommendation ☺️
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What is your enneagram type and Enneagram Instinct "Self preservation", "social", or "sexual? As an INTJ myself I like to be able to compare INTJs at smaller level when they share their perspectives on how they live.
Stumbled up on this channel and was intrigued to actually watch an self imposed interview of INTJ female. I have never encountered one, or been near one long enough to tell they were a INTJ. I've read they are the rarest of the types, so perhaps that has sometime to do with it. Also, in my younger years handing out in a public/college libraries, museums, movie theaters, where most people was usually quiet and to themselves, perhaps I was around them and hadn't notice, though I usually pride myself at being rather observant of others. Anyway, I am curious if they, female INTJs I mean, can for short period of time blend in with other types like an INFJ can? I've learned and experienced first hand that females in general are better at blending or acting then we men are, so was curious to see if INTJ females were good at that too. If my questions seem odd or too invasive, please understand I mean no disrespect and only trying to learn and understand. Also, I do understand not all women and men, of whatever personality type they may test can be clearly defined by the type definitions, so I don't expect answers to all be the same or consistent between different, which is just as informative and more stimulating than if they were. Anyway, thanks Kiara Riddingius for telling us a little about yourself and what its like from your perspective.
@@DarinM1967 I would hazard a guess it would entirely depend on the situation you see them in. I do also tend to observe INTJ females are externally harder to type, even though their internal experience may ring true to the profile or cognitive functioning. I would consider it hard for others to get a consistent read on me as it depends on what my purpose for being in a given situation is. So I wouldn’t so much call it acting as purposefully engaging haha.
@@CoachKiara Interesting. Thanks for replying so quickly. I think understand what your saying, that depending on the situation. For instance a female INTJ may appear to be more purposely friendly, agreeable, perhaps even chatty, or interested if it would facilitate their current objective/curiosity, if they surmise that it would be be beneficial in the current situation, to avoid, while in a social situation, causing needless discomfort to someone they care about, or to expedite or hurry things along? Again thank you for taking the time to answer my rather unique inquiries. I went ahead and subscribed to your channel, so to learn more about your observations and insight into the INFJ female.
@@DarinM1967INTJ female here; I definitely blend in if necessary but tend to keep to myself, so it’s hard to meet people. For example I enjoy working with animals and not humans, have hobbies that are quiet. I do feel like I’m acting when at a gathering or if I must work with a customer, I take on a ditzy, kind persona and smile a lot, very agreeable. Or I can be stone faced and blunt. Whatever gets me out of the situation the easiest/ quickest way. Nobody really knows me. And as I get older, (37) I’m more and more okay with that.
@@nikkireigns Thanks Nikki, for responding and updating/improving my understanding about INTJ females specifically and perhaps INTJs in general. I too have spent most of my life blending in so I wonder if its more a introvert thing. I totally understand preferring animals over people. I only have a couple of friends, who are both female, one an INFJ, and another I haven't ask and rarely talk to anyway. Most of my social interactions in the last decade or so has been with animals, npcs in games, and LLMs, which are now worth talking too, full of lots of useful information, which I verify of course, and don't have feelings that get hurt or trying to take advantage of me. From my own experiences I prefer more and more my solitude. Its safer, conserves energy, allows me more time to devote to my own interests, avoids the unpleasantness of hurt feelings and disappointment on either side. Now, I understand your reasons that you prefer solitude maybe very different since no two people are the same and especially men and women even sharing the same personality types can and do perceive and respond to the world differently. I'm just expression my acknowledgement the similarities as a way of trying to relate. Again Nikki, for your response and giving me further insights in both this personality time and especially in regards to the rare INTJ female.
Im a god blessed ENTP and for some reason its easier for me to open up to a god blessed INTJ. Its a very comfortable dynamic. Dont know why but i know it works. Im really glad there are INTJs in society. Too bad yall are so rare
I thought I was INTP, but I might be INTJ 🤔 Watching this while wearing head to toe black. Definitely don't trust easily, and don't have a lot of friends..
They are very similar! Probably a good spot the difference for an INTJ and INTP is the organisation and structure, INTPs are generally less structured than INTJs and don’t run on a strict time schedule… what do you think?
@@CoachKiara so I'm probably INTP because I do NOT 😅 run on a strict schedule...I thought it was a reaction to my childhood, daily fights with my parents about "being on time" to school etc. I have things I want to do by a certain time, but I'm not too concerned about the order that tasks are completed, or even if some things are done, as long as it's the most efficient path.for the overall goal..
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Nice video Kiara! As an INTJ, do you ever feel like you push people away who you actually enjoy having in your life? But for some reason you just find yourself shutting them out? I find that this is common with some INTJs. Can you relate?
@@kellyharrington8320 I haven’t tended to do this so much, as in the past found it very difficult to let people into my life in the first place 😅. I also used to be very cut dry/black and white in cutting people out that I didn’t feel fully aligned with me, but I can’t say I’ve ever done it with people I enjoyed having in my life for no particular reason haha. In saying that, as I type this there were a couple close friends I felt hurt by (nothing too huge in hindsight) and I shut down to them, almost like a switch turned off, rather that shut them out I just didn’t feel connected to them anymore and wasn’t interested in investing my effort or time. I guess that’s the same thing but I see it slightly different haha
@@CoachKiara I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Maybe you'll one day reconnect with them : ) I have an INTJ friend who seems to be pushing me away...well, it feels like it. They have certainly become less engaged. We live a few states away from each other and they hate texting and talking on the phone. But in person, it's the best time ever, ha ha. I'm wondering if the distance and how often we see each other plays a factor in whether or not an INTJ sees it as worth investing their time and energy. Would distance play a factor for you when deciding to invest your time and effort into a friendship if it was only going to be sporadic?
@@kellyharrington8320 oh this is common. For me anyway, I love my friends and that doesn’t go away, if we are not physically together, I will tend to just assume they know I love them and that they can call me anytime they need, it’ll be exact same as last time we spoke. I actually had this with a friend the other day - we hadn’t spoken in about 7 years but just picked up as if it was yesterday we spoke. I guess day to day information doesn’t feel like connecting to me if we aren’t in person spending quality time together. But I’ve realised as I get older how important it is to others to keep in contact and I will make a much more conscious effort to contact them. I am quite good at explaining to my friends my weaknesses in that sense and tell them to directly just let me know what they need. But if I was left to my own devices, I would just completely forget that others need that sortve contact. All of my friends are wonderful though and we make an effort to understand that we still care for each other no matter if we speak of not. Don’t take it personally, the relationship is actually likely to be stronger if you don’t bother with the chit chat in between stuff, and just call them when you have something you’d like to actually discuss. Though it is also nice to have my friends call me and just start with, I was just thinking of you and thought I’d give you a call! - Hope this helps! Haha
@@CoachKiara It does help, thanks! It's hard to reach out to them via text or calling because that's not their preferred way to of communicating. I think that they like to have that face to face quality time. In fact, texting can take them forever to get back to me, lol. Like sometimes days! Do you find texting and calls to be more of an annoyance as well?
@@kellyharrington8320Yes it is actually 😅 However though, you could let them know how you feel. I'm very close to my mom, she's an ESFP, and i first moved out, id forget to call for days. She was the one who taught me to get used to speaking on the phone with her every single day, and now I'm used to it. I went an entire year without talking to my long distance best friend, ENFP, and i didn't even realize it!😭 But, I always mentioned her whenever i spoke to my mom. Which was always multiple times a week. My brain automatically assumes that every thing is always going to be intact in relationships without some good maintenance 😂 It was only until recently when she sent me a message that I was like: "I have missed you!"🥹 And i meant it. But she didn't believe me because to her, I had abandoned her.🫠 But that wasn't the case. She's one of my favorite person's in the world, besides my mom of course. So now im learning to not unconsciously alienate people who're dear to me. If their love language is frequent communication then I'd to learn to do that. Especially since I'd like them to be able to accommodate my preferences too. So you'll have to communicate with them. Trust me, they'll listen to you.😊
My impression of all INTJ's: OMG we are so rare and special, we can be misunderstood because we offend everyone all the time, but that's not our fault because of our EXTREME logic which is so painful to watch with everyone around us being so stupid and it's not our fault...but we want to help with our brilliant logic but our time is too valuable to be bothered by talking to emotional plebeians...we are the chosen race and it's up to them to like us and BTW we totes aren't emotionally abusive narcissists. If only people would just understand how wonderful we really are...
What I’ve discovered is that when you give free advice, it’s not appreciated, but if people PAY you as an expert in some field or on some topic, then that framing alters their perception & understanding of you, even if you’re still the same exact person. 🙄 It’s all psychology, and we just need to manipulate things to everyone’s benefit, for they (i.e., the general collective) do not know what they don’t know. Create concrete solutions for the Sensors because a lot of abstract concepts are over their head, even if they seem simple & obvious to you/us. We know that all truths are self-evident, but that’s apparently not a maxim to all, since their “facts” are actually lies, and compulsive liars can’t distinguish one from the other-I know, because I come from an all-narc family & have been around narcs all my life, almost exclusively.
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@@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied when I see my type often I think they are a bit weird, so I'm guessing that my type would see me a bit weird too. lol, that sounds weird, but I haven't found the exact words yet.
I guess you just pick traits/signs you found on internet. It's only the surface of this knowledge. I suggest people to watch videos of INTJ mbti/typology content creator who go deeper into it, we talk about the 8 functions, how really our brain process informations. Consider your Fe trickster/blindspot it's important. What is like for you to have Ni (introverted intuition) ? Consider also to research about neurodivergence (ADHD, Asperger/Autism...) because INTJ we have high chance to fall into it.
@@Elodie_N_INTJ_Analyzes good advice, I’ve actually been chatting with a certified MBTI specialist recently, getting a in depth assessment and report next week. Appreciate the insight!
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I think "thinking" women in general are usually not that girly, in both physical appearance and looks (as biology determines both personality AND looks). Similarly for example, gay guys tend to look more feminine _and_ behave more feminine too. I think this aspect is too often overlooked in the personality community, as it's all pretty simple in the sense that our hormones dictate(d) how our bodies and minds evolved as they're all organs under the influence of the hormones and there is a relation between them. We are told not to believe in such ideas because it's a taboo, yet pretty much every cartoon uses it to illustrate the personalities of their characters (by giving them looks that intuitively match that personality) This is why so many studies people can guess parts of personality based on looks. People can often infer a surprising amount about someone's personality just by looking at their appearance. Research suggests that people can reasonably accurately guess certain personality traits, such as extraversion and confidence, simply by viewing a photo of someone. In my own observation thinking women tend to be taller on average than feeling women and similarly intuititve thinking women that are introverts oftend to be be tall and pretty slender (like intj). Extraverts tend to be somewhat wider in both face body..Anyway, just some thoughts
A lot of INTJ women are mistyped as ESFP or ISFP. Like Beyonce. Watch her closely Ironically ISFJ Jay Z is called an INTJ icon when his wife is the INTJ icon.
@@madlynlithasya haha crazy how strong I resonate with other INTJs! Blows my mind 😂 Feel free to come say hi in the free community I’m building! Would love to have you there! Skool.com/change
Any INTJ Ladies who see this (or anyone else): I have a free community: Master your mindset, get clarity, control, confidence. Free courses and resources www.skool.com/change
ENFJ with well developed inferior functions,. Intj.
I'm hearing that the Olympics is a scam, I thought you Olympians made your money on the sponsored events.
I’m an INTJ female. Yep, I have a husband, 4 kids, and a dog. I’m very content being home 99% of my life and don’t care who thinks that is boring. 😂
@@valeriej291 hahaha the best! Yea I hate the question like, oh what did you do today? I’m like, in the real world? The same thing I pretty much do every every day 🤔 I get my coffee, I go to training and then I spend the rest of the time working on something I’m working on (alone)or just a lot of time in my head- doesn’t sound interesting but I LOVE my life hahahaha. And then pray they don’t ask me if I want to go do something with them cause I’m gonna say no. Unless it’s one of the 3 people I’ll do that with 😂
I concur. -INFJ
The test is bullshit. I dont believe in normativ test
I wonder how you managed to not get crazy with 4 kids. I can only speak for myself, but I'm quite happy I don't have kids. It drives me totally crazy to have people around me 24/7. How did you manage to find alone-time (serious question)?
“I PLAN for flexible/unplanned day!” Yeah.. it made total sense. 😂
We have a back up plan for a plan. And another backup plan for the back up plan.
Plan for unplanned day? Sure!
PRE-plan the chaos? 😂😂😂Absolutely!
I feel so understood 🥹 haha! 😝
This gives me anxiety.
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I am an INTJ who likes to get dressed up.
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Same
As an INTJ-male I see well-dressed woman in the same way as a piece of great art (it must fit my taste thought), and I love looking at beautiful art.
I got this video recommended as I'm also an INTJ. I discovered I was INTJ in end of 2022 and I had an aha moment recognising myself so much in the personality. I used it as introspection and it helped me understand so much about social interaction and my own way of functioning. It was like reading my own manual to understand myself and people around me.
I've always felt like an alien all my life and it explained a lot of things, I could relate to everything that you mentioned. I've also been told similar analogies to the chocolate one haha. Since learning my personality, I became more patient with people in my life and also I got better at social skills. I focused on my weakest functions in 2023 until I was satisfied.
Honestly, learning your personality can be so powerful.
Love this! 🫶🏻
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@@CoachKiara thank you! I’ll join
I do actually like dressing up, but in a way that is not time consuming. Like, combine something fancy and black with something fancy and dark purple, add a necklace and some rings and maaaaaybe a minor amount of makeup, and that's it. I like looking at nice things, so it does give me joy to dress well, but it has to be efficient and still functional.
@@Jojo66630 yes! I do agree with this, I barely go out (to be with people) but when I do this is actually spot on now I think of it👌🏻
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Hi Kiara, about a year ago
I found out I am an INTJ female and I’ve been researching this type on TH-cam since. I relate to this video a lot more so than those generic videos about INTJ females in general. I appreciate you making this video because there aren’t a lot of us who would go through the effort you went through.
@@NoChance-zl3nb thanks so much for your comment, it means a lot! Probably no other time in my life I would have spent the time to do these haha, im in a really great place in my life now - and I think it would have been nice for me when I was younger to see intj women content more. There are a lot of the stereotypes for intj that I think are experienced quite differently for intj women! Let me know if there is anything you’d like to see in future videos!
INTJ female here. I hate shopping unless it’s at Home Depot. I have several dresses, all the same, but different colors and patterns that I wear to work every day. I do my make up (minimal) the same every day. My husband thinks I always have too much on my plate but that relaxes me!
@@krcaspers haha I love that!
Hi, intj teen here🤗 i love discovering other intj women
@@Mahilovestea especially as a teenager it’s rare to come across others. The internet is a good place to discover there are others out there who understand naturally how you operate 🫶🏻
Hello, INTJ sister! 👋
I’m all of those things you described, except for the shopping bit. I’ve ALWAYS loved shopping, but it’s for the thrill of the hunt, which I think INTJs can relate to. Now that I can wear Bluetooth headphones all day long & block out conversations that stress out or annoy me, being around people has become exponentially easier-highly recommended for anyone who has to be around people, and feels like a bundle of raw nerves.😳
I love being an INTJ-always have, but it wasn’t until social media came of age & provided explanations for things like personality types & introversion that I gave myself permission to “stop trying,” since I understood that just putting myself out there into the general public won’t necessarily change my odds for meeting someone who gets me. It is, however, easy to meet people online for niche interests & groups, so thank the universe for that! 🙏 🙌
Being a half-century old helps tremendously in being even MORE comfortable in one’s skin, and having the broad, zoomed-out perspective of how we’re just one type in an ecosystem, helps me to stay sane in a world that doesn’t know what to make of me.
One tip of many that I have for my fellow INTJs (particularly for younger ones): CREATE YOUR OWN OPPORTUNITIES, IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANY IN YOUR PERIPHERY-you may otherwise end up,waiting a lifetime in vain, since the world is comprised of mostly unaware Sensors, so do your own thing, and don’t be surprised if you have to always be proactive in starting something from scratch, if you want to have projects that you actually care about. As an Ni-dom,,it’s your birthright to visualize & create things that others don’t yet understand, but will get it once it’s in concrete form.
Thanks for sharing! Great insight!
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@@MoPoppins 💯! I have had to do everything! And I love my life! I really don’t care about what the pack is doing, but if I find something that tickles my fancy I’m like a spazzy, obsessed, puppy… I also feel like I am 5-10 years ahead of everyone else… people have just never been able to see what I do… until they catch up… and then they’re like OOHHHHHHHHH! That’s what you were talking about…
@@JulianaAndersson When we don’t encounter anyone else like ourselves, life can be maddening & alienating, but for those of us who are self-aware & self-possessed, and also aware of archetypes, we don’t have any expectations of others, so life is peaceful from that standpoint.
The only other INTJ I’ve probably ever met in person was my high school chemistry teacher, and that was way back in 1991. Despite being a rarity, I always feel the privilege of being an INTJ-we just don’t have the same petty, predictable, mundane problems that most others are preoccupied with. As long as we have control over our time & energy, we can discover new obsessions & follow them for as long as they hold our interest. Every day can be exciting, because we know how to make it so by upping the ante. 😁
@@MoPoppins absolutely! 💯
Really a sibling of ENTJs. So much in common... Finally some other performers 🏆
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Amen, sister. The future matters as much as the present.
@@bluenetmarketing exactly!
@@CoachKiara You'd make a good likeminded friend.
@@bluenetmarketing feel free to jump over to the free community I’m building! Plenty of like minded legends joining there 🫶🏻 Skool.com/change
As an INTJ male, watching this video was like watching a video about myself. Everything matches except the dressing part - I like to and always will try to dress well because I think it is what everyone should do and I love myself for doing it. Thanks for your video.
@@slowcookedbolognese thanks for your comment! Glad it resonated 😊
Yea I get that efficient shopping thing...When I go to the grocery store with a list of 3 items....I leave with those 3 items....lol
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yes girl u go, i have the same way of thinking being an intj if someone tells me i cant do something i will work harder to prove them wrong that i can in fact do it. Anyone can do what they put their mind into.
@@Michelle-rq1lw absolutely! Love it! Feel free to come say hi in the free community I’m building based on mindset! Skool.com/change
You've hit the proverbial nail on the head, thank you for putting this so eloquently.
@@QuadraWithLove I’m so glad you got something from it! 🫶🏻
Male INTJ here rediscovering my personality type I took the questionnaire when I was a teen and was so fascinated by it then I moved on, and now I'm in my 30s took it again still and INTJ so now I'm relearning about my type and my gf's type. It has been helping me understand the growth that I have experienced lately and how to be a better person and partner. Loved the video and it's great to see female INTJs your even more rare then male INTJs! 😮
@@LuisKnight I think it’s such a useful tool for personal relationships particularly!
I self tested out as an INFP Then when I was tested by a professional the results were INTJ...that shocked me *scratches head*
I do love efficiency!
Thanks for your Video. I myself identify quite strongly with being an INFP but I really love to see the point if views of INTJs. It is a type I got to learn to know quite well, the straightforward attitude is just the right thing to see sometimes.
@@m.geometer9522 thanks so much for sharing! It’s always fascinating to me to learn other types point of view also, particularly intuitive types 😌
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haha the clothes part got me :) I am also "neat" and there is a lot of thought put into it, just it has to be efficient... so foundation - yes, to look better. Any other make up? Never for so many reasons... As for appearing cold... I might have been so in the past. I'm training to become a psychotherapist and over the past years, especially when I learnt how people perceive me (as distanced, depressed, cold... which I was... all of these in fact) I have been trying to appear as approachable... Meanwhile, I've learnt how to assert my boundaries. But I've also learnt how to use intimidation and how to be mean without the other person's ability to put a finger on it. But when I'm kind to someone... I am really kind. I try to be very compassionate and i'm emphatetic. I'm just different than what I used to be like. Also, Im an Aussie but living in Europe my whole life. I've noticed something about other Aussies... I wonder if you have too: they are (ok we, but I'm just mentally ultra European) seemingly easy-going... until they get triggered. And while people from other countries are able to agree to disagree without geting all sulky and proud... Aussies... oh gosh. Any instance of having a different opinion just triggers the heck out of them. It's hell for young INTJs who still don't get "the nuances". Meanwhile, there is a whole bunch of INTJs who mistake being rude and lackign tact/manners for "being honest and speaking the truth". I have some INTJ acquaintances and let me tell you... their love for labels they use for themselves (from INTJ to "autism") just to cover up their being a-holes is astounding. Meanwhile you also mentioned two things that I believe constitute the basis of one problem: romance. You said we like ambition & drive and that we struggle with relationships. Well... I bet it's not just me who struggles in relationships MOSTLY because the people don't match up to my standard in terms of e.g. being hard working, driven, ambitious without being a narcy a-hole again... What do you think, Kiara? :)
There was once a guy who thought he was in love with me-a lot of people apparently conflate or confuse liking the way you make them feel, via the way you treat THEM, vs. actually liking you as a person. Fortunately, I inherently understand that if they have ZERO interest in getting to know me, it’s impossible for them to even be my friend.
Anyway, so this guy once asked me, probably after pondering on his own why I might not care whether someone expresses interest in me, “You would date YOURSELF, wouldn’t you?” Or something to that effect.
That was VERY insightful and accurate! 🤣 Interesting way to put it, but I think we INTJ females would agree that WE do meet our own standards, and very few else.
Psychotherapy is cool! Glad you’re getting into it! For the relationship front I would suggest it’s just a time thing, there is no rush to find someone, for me anyway - which can be difficult when you’re younger and seeing everyone seemingly easily relate to others and create relationships. While it’s true there are many healthy relationships that start young, there are also many very unsatisfying and unhealthy relationships people get into - for an INTJ female, or me at least, it’s not worth disrupting independence and freedom unless a partner is willing to hold the relationship (not necessarily the person) to the same standard and effort of everything else special and important in life. (Which means both people working to understand how to enrich each others lives, not just be a part of it) I think this just come from maturity from both sides so relationships tend to come later in life.
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Just took the test for Psych class and here I am at 37 going "ohhh...."
@@Jettset2019 haha it all makes sense! 😂
Feel free to jump in our free community, I didn’t originally intend it but I’m collecting many INTjs 😅 - its full of free courses and resources for mindset that I wish I had 5 or 10 years ago skool.com/change
4:22 - Great quote Kiara 🫶
10:10 - I have 1 INTJ friend and yes I do feel special :-)
I took the test twice...it came out to be INTJ..they say..results vary...depending upon the questions they ask..yup..I also struggle being introvert!!
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It's nice seeing someone kindred who is so comfortable with solitude. I tend to feel pretty alone in that.
Watch the series Queen's Gambit for an INTJ female.
This is indeed very heartwarming and very wonderful and very beautiful and very helpful and this brings back such great memories of when I use to be a 90s kid and an early 2000s kid and I am a new subscriber as well:).
Alone time is like crack to an INTJ like myself. Working from home with a child aged 0-5 has been quite a cognitive challenge for me.
@@edsanville that sounds incredibly draining 😬
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Just discovered I'm INTJ -- and found your video -- after researching it a bit, of course (LOL).
@@phoenixxfinancial haha it’ll help you a lot then that little discovery! It certainly saved me a lot of confusion and struggle!
As an intj, I met an enfp who was pleading with me not to think I had to do it alone.
I still think of them a lot and wonder what they meant.
All I know is they got me out of a very dark loop just by existing.
@@meilei8716 my 3 best mates are enfp’s 🥹 I know exactly what you mean 🫶🏻
Thank you for such an informative video! Everything that you just said is spot on with this girl INTJ who I'm interested in, but right now just trying to befriend. She also has a rather tough shell to break through. Just curious, but in your opinion does persistence pay off when trying to befriend an INTJ female?
@@RockofOTown if it comes across needy it will likely turn her completely off. If you “try” to do anything it may come across as trying to manipulate or be disingenuous. Just be yourself, I know for me at least, I adore people who are authentic and self-sufficient. I take a long time to decide if I’ll invest my time in spending time with someone, it takes quite a while to warm up. So persistence does pay off in a sense that you are consistent with who you are, and I am not “required” in anyway to entertain you. If you are happy and respectful of my answers to your invitations I’ll likely warm up over time. If she gets more and more cold or distant though, I’d recommend just leaving it be haha. Hope that helps!
@@CoachKiara Thank you for your detailed reply and advice! Much appreciated. I have heard that with INTJs it's best to just be direct and not beat around the bush. Maybe I should just tell her how I feel. I thought about doing it with a letter because there is so much that I want to say. I just don't know how it will be received since I have heard that INTJs aren't the most romantic type, as you also pointed out in your video.
@@RockofOTown if you are not close already, directly with how you feel will definitely make her an awkward turtle. even if she did like you, likely she wouldnt know how to process that right away or how she should behave. Sharing feelings is not the directness we are talking about here haha. (for me) it would feel like there is an expectation attached to reading that letter that i would need to respond to. The directness is in the sense that we say what we mean and mean what we say - so if you ask questions in a general sense to get to know each other with no expectations of romance then that is comfortable and the most engaging way to understand each other. Don't try and search for hidden meaning of what we want. If you are already close to an intj, and she trusts you, she'll pop up more around you and give you her time. Unless you are an ENTP, my suggestion is have patience and just stick to a friendship. If she's interested she will let you know eventually haha
@@CoachKiara Oddly enough, I am an ENTP, ha ha. That being the case, what do you suggest?
@@RockofOTown haha well in that case I have no idea! For some reason those guys can just work out how to charm me without me quite understanding it 😂 curiosity and intelectual debates intrigue me. Again, just be patient and be you. You’ll be fine haha.
Watching all those INTJ women on youtube, and I am starting to see a morphological pattern in our facial details, so much so that I think I could identify an INTJ woman if I see one on the street. Am I the only one?
Classic, symmetrical faces with straight eyebrows... same here
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Don't even go there...
No, physiognomy is not real.
@@exnihilonihilfit6316the eyes tell
Wait so if i date an intj, theyll give me space to grind on my skillsets, as an entp? And they will be social enough with me when I want have a deep conversation and some fun? What problems and what positives will entail an entp-intj relationship from your pov? Given that they are both healthy, successful in their careers….
@@haniyehsheibani if both healthy and good communicators I think it would be a great partnership 🤗 problems would be if they can’t appreciate each others differences, or if either remain too stubborn on their pov, though I tend to believe the connection between these two types comes from their differences in how they see the world and the intrigue that comes with that. Hard to get bored with someone who thinks so differently yet also understands everything you say haha
INTJ male here, pretty much similar to what you have just mentioned about INTJ female. Same coin different sides.
Thanks for sharing! Cool that it resonated :)
I am INTJ. Took the test in my early 20’s…. I’m 55 now. And wow…. Yes to just about all of it!
@@JulianaAndersson 🫶🏻
@@CoachKiara one thing to add, is I adore patterns and dynamics.. I call toxic relational dynamics TeRDs, for short… I see connections everywhere and symbolism where a lot of people tell me they didn’t see it until I mentioned it… also.. on being alone… I’m not sure I would say that I like to be alone as much as I need a lot of alone time…. lol.. probably the same thing… lol.. but I would say that I love hanging out more with the non-human kind of life, being out in nature. Being extremely visual, I have always felt like the matrix, with 30 lines of code going at any given moment… so much stuff to think about… I also have synesthesia… I experience my senses as mixed.. almost all the time… I am very sensitive to everything… I get overwhelmed and have to lay down in the dark for an hour or two until I get everything organized… and processed… then I can “merge back in with traffic”… Idk if that’s an INTJ thing or what… I haven’t heard much on the spiritual front regarding INTJ… I’m NOT woo woo spiritual. But I also would characterize myself as an HSP (highly sensitive person)… my internal life is super intense. Idk if any of this makes any sense… lol.. thank you making this video… helped me feel not so alone…
@@JulianaAndersson yea these are the more stereotypical ones I would say, there’s a lot more that goes on with information processing z you might really enjoy exploring more from a guy on TH-cam who understands the cognitive functions super well justcallmejon would highly recommend checking out his videos!
@@CoachKiara please know I was, in no way, criticizing your content… you went pretty deep into the topic.. I don’t think it was stereotypical but then again, I haven’t seen videos on INTJs that I could vibe with cause I think most were male INTJs… women are different even if we think we think like men… you did a great video!
@@JulianaAndersson oh absolutely! No offence taken at all! Just thought I’d share another channel you might enjoy that goes more in depth into the kind of processing you are talking about! 🫶🏻 haha!
Hi Kiara, as I have studied MBTI over the last year, I can see some signs that you may be mistyped. Please correct me if I'm wrong. I myself have been mistyped as an INTJ for over four years and have taken five tests.
The problem with most common tests on the internet is that they are "Intuitive"-biased, with questions like "Do you think a lot? Do you have imagination? Are you creative?" or something too generic. The consequence is a community that thinks Sensor types are "stupid."
Have you looked at the ISTP description? These are my insights:
1) You speak a lot about how other people perceive you and people's problems (this could be a sign of Fe inferior - ISTP).
2) You excel in sports (which is very unusual for an INTJ, who has Se as the inferior function; their Ni dominance gets them stuck in their head and thinking about future consequences, which is very bad for present-time activities like sports. Indeed, they are usually portrayed as goofy. SPs are usually the best sport/music performers due to their high Se).
3) Independence; yes, as introverts, INTJs tend to be independent, but they are not the most independent type (this is due to their auxiliary function Te, which is a tribe function. You can see a lot of INTJ characters working behind the scenes, controlling people. They isolate themselves, but they try to be part of a community).
4) Clothing; INTJs usually dress for style/fashion. They want to look good and professional, which is because of Te/Fi. Comfort is a characteristic valued more by Sensors (especially ST types), who live in the present moment and can't get over something uncomfortable. You can see them wearing cargo pants, comfy shirts, sport shoes.
I think you could be an ISTP (like myself, who has been mistyped as an INTJ for so long because of Ni loop). High organization and discipline can be signs of healthy Ti (ISTP dominant function), probably enneagram 8.
Check out "Love Who" here on YT; his descriptions of personalities are the best.
Take care
@@lucamontella7309 hi, thanks for the insight. You may pick up a lot of these traits in my language because I have done a lot of work to specifically work on my weaker preferences and seeing the world from the point of view of others for the work that I do. This never used to be the case. Interesting pick ups though! None of those come natural to me haha
I’ll def check out your recommendation ☺️
Hiya! i'd love if you would consider joining my FREE Skool community which I have just started based around personal growth, authenticity and leveraging your personality, as well as appreciating that of others. I am building out a 5- week authenticity course at the moment which I will have available ABSOLUTELY FREE. Would love members to join and throw around ideas and thoughts on what would be of most value. www.skool.com/change-makers-3729/about
What is your enneagram type and Enneagram Instinct "Self preservation", "social", or "sexual? As an INTJ myself I like to be able to compare INTJs at smaller level when they share their perspectives on how they live.
@@stu6097 haven’t done enneagram 😌
Stumbled up on this channel and was intrigued to actually watch an self imposed interview of INTJ female. I have never encountered one, or been near one long enough to tell they were a INTJ. I've read they are the rarest of the types, so perhaps that has sometime to do with it. Also, in my younger years handing out in a public/college libraries, museums, movie theaters, where most people was usually quiet and to themselves, perhaps I was around them and hadn't notice, though I usually pride myself at being rather observant of others. Anyway, I am curious if they, female INTJs I mean, can for short period of time blend in with other types like an INFJ can? I've learned and experienced first hand that females in general are better at blending or acting then we men are, so was curious to see if INTJ females were good at that too. If my questions seem odd or too invasive, please understand I mean no disrespect and only trying to learn and understand. Also, I do understand not all women and men, of whatever personality type they may test can be clearly defined by the type definitions, so I don't expect answers to all be the same or consistent between different, which is just as informative and more stimulating than if they were. Anyway, thanks Kiara Riddingius for telling us a little about yourself and what its like from your perspective.
@@DarinM1967 I would hazard a guess it would entirely depend on the situation you see them in. I do also tend to observe INTJ females are externally harder to type, even though their internal experience may ring true to the profile or cognitive functioning. I would consider it hard for others to get a consistent read on me as it depends on what my purpose for being in a given situation is. So I wouldn’t so much call it acting as purposefully engaging haha.
@@CoachKiara Interesting. Thanks for replying so quickly. I think understand what your saying, that depending on the situation. For instance a female INTJ may appear to be more purposely friendly, agreeable, perhaps even chatty, or interested if it would facilitate their current objective/curiosity, if they surmise that it would be be beneficial in the current situation, to avoid, while in a social situation, causing needless discomfort to someone they care about, or to expedite or hurry things along? Again thank you for taking the time to answer my rather unique inquiries. I went ahead and subscribed to your channel, so to learn more about your observations and insight into the INFJ female.
@@DarinM1967INTJ female here; I definitely blend in if necessary but tend to keep to myself, so it’s hard to meet people. For example I enjoy working with animals and not humans, have hobbies that are quiet. I do feel like I’m acting when at a gathering or if I must work with a customer, I take on a ditzy, kind persona and smile a lot, very agreeable. Or I can be stone faced and blunt. Whatever gets me out of the situation the easiest/ quickest way. Nobody really knows me. And as I get older, (37) I’m more and more okay with that.
@@nikkireigns Thanks Nikki, for responding and updating/improving my understanding about INTJ females specifically and perhaps INTJs in general. I too have spent most of my life blending in so I wonder if its more a introvert thing. I totally understand preferring animals over people. I only have a couple of friends, who are both female, one an INFJ, and another I haven't ask and rarely talk to anyway. Most of my social interactions in the last decade or so has been with animals, npcs in games, and LLMs, which are now worth talking too, full of lots of useful information, which I verify of course, and don't have feelings that get hurt or trying to take advantage of me. From my own experiences I prefer more and more my solitude. Its safer, conserves energy, allows me more time to devote to my own interests, avoids the unpleasantness of hurt feelings and disappointment on either side. Now, I understand your reasons that you prefer solitude maybe very different since no two people are the same and especially men and women even sharing the same personality types can and do perceive and respond to the world differently. I'm just expression my acknowledgement the similarities as a way of trying to relate. Again Nikki, for your response and giving me further insights in both this personality time and especially in regards to the rare INTJ female.
Im a god blessed ENTP and for some reason its easier for me to open up to a god blessed INTJ. Its a very comfortable dynamic. Dont know why but i know it works. Im really glad there are INTJs in society. Too bad yall are so rare
@@FloridaMarlinWrangler I have two very close ENTP friends and they feel exactly the same! Entp’s are the best 🥰
Golden pair
Wow. INTJ female here... This is accurate!
@@mar8888 love it! ❤️
I thought I was INTP, but I might be INTJ 🤔
Watching this while wearing head to toe black. Definitely don't trust easily, and don't have a lot of friends..
They are very similar! Probably a good spot the difference for an INTJ and INTP is the organisation and structure, INTPs are generally less structured than INTJs and don’t run on a strict time schedule… what do you think?
@@CoachKiara so I'm probably INTP because I do NOT 😅 run on a strict schedule...I thought it was a reaction to my childhood, daily fights with my parents about "being on time" to school etc. I have things I want to do by a certain time, but I'm not too concerned about the order that tasks are completed, or even if some things are done, as long as it's the most efficient path.for the overall goal..
Hiya! i'd love if you would consider joining my FREE Skool community which I have just started based around personal growth, authenticity and leveraging your personality, as well as appreciating that of others. I am building out a 5- week authenticity course at the moment which I will have available ABSOLUTELY FREE. Would love members to join and throw around ideas and thoughts on what would be of most value. www.skool.com/change-makers-3729/about
I crave fun, excitement with fun exciting friends.
Nice video Kiara! As an INTJ, do you ever feel like you push people away who you actually enjoy having in your life? But for some reason you just find yourself shutting them out? I find that this is common with some INTJs. Can you relate?
@@kellyharrington8320 I haven’t tended to do this so much, as in the past found it very difficult to let people into my life in the first place 😅. I also used to be very cut dry/black and white in cutting people out that I didn’t feel fully aligned with me, but I can’t say I’ve ever done it with people I enjoyed having in my life for no particular reason haha. In saying that, as I type this there were a couple close friends I felt hurt by (nothing too huge in hindsight) and I shut down to them, almost like a switch turned off, rather that shut them out I just didn’t feel connected to them anymore and wasn’t interested in investing my effort or time. I guess that’s the same thing but I see it slightly different haha
@@CoachKiara I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Maybe you'll one day reconnect with them : ) I have an INTJ friend who seems to be pushing me away...well, it feels like it. They have certainly become less engaged. We live a few states away from each other and they hate texting and talking on the phone. But in person, it's the best time ever, ha ha. I'm wondering if the distance and how often we see each other plays a factor in whether or not an INTJ sees it as worth investing their time and energy. Would distance play a factor for you when deciding to invest your time and effort into a friendship if it was only going to be sporadic?
@@kellyharrington8320 oh this is common. For me anyway, I love my friends and that doesn’t go away, if we are not physically together, I will tend to just assume they know I love them and that they can call me anytime they need, it’ll be exact same as last time we spoke. I actually had this with a friend the other day - we hadn’t spoken in about 7 years but just picked up as if it was yesterday we spoke. I guess day to day information doesn’t feel like connecting to me if we aren’t in person spending quality time together. But I’ve realised as I get older how important it is to others to keep in contact and I will make a much more conscious effort to contact them. I am quite good at explaining to my friends my weaknesses in that sense and tell them to directly just let me know what they need. But if I was left to my own devices, I would just completely forget that others need that sortve contact. All of my friends are wonderful though and we make an effort to understand that we still care for each other no matter if we speak of not. Don’t take it personally, the relationship is actually likely to be stronger if you don’t bother with the chit chat in between stuff, and just call them when you have something you’d like to actually discuss. Though it is also nice to have my friends call me and just start with, I was just thinking of you and thought I’d give you a call! - Hope this helps! Haha
@@CoachKiara It does help, thanks! It's hard to reach out to them via text or calling because that's not their preferred way to of communicating. I think that they like to have that face to face quality time. In fact, texting can take them forever to get back to me, lol. Like sometimes days! Do you find texting and calls to be more of an annoyance as well?
@@kellyharrington8320Yes it is actually 😅 However though, you could let them know how you feel. I'm very close to my mom, she's an ESFP, and i first moved out, id forget to call for days. She was the one who taught me to get used to speaking on the phone with her every single day, and now I'm used to it.
I went an entire year without talking to my long distance best friend, ENFP, and i didn't even realize it!😭
But, I always mentioned her whenever i spoke to my mom. Which was always multiple times a week.
My brain automatically assumes that every thing is always going to be intact in relationships without some good maintenance 😂
It was only until recently when she sent me a message that I was like: "I have missed you!"🥹
And i meant it.
But she didn't believe me because to her, I had abandoned her.🫠
But that wasn't the case. She's one of my favorite person's in the world, besides my mom of course.
So now im learning to not unconsciously alienate people who're dear to me.
If their love language is frequent communication then I'd to learn to do that. Especially since I'd like them to be able to accommodate my preferences too.
So you'll have to communicate with them.
Trust me, they'll listen to you.😊
My impression of all INTJ's: OMG we are so rare and special, we can be misunderstood because we offend everyone all the time, but that's not our fault because of our EXTREME logic which is so painful to watch with everyone around us being so stupid and it's not our fault...but we want to help with our brilliant logic but our time is too valuable to be bothered by talking to emotional plebeians...we are the chosen race and it's up to them to like us and BTW we totes aren't emotionally abusive narcissists. If only people would just understand how wonderful we really are...
Haha Can definitely see that impression! You’re right that many of these traits can be super unhealthy if not worked on 🥴
What I’ve discovered is that when you give free advice, it’s not appreciated, but if people PAY you as an expert in some field or on some topic, then that framing alters their perception & understanding of you, even if you’re still the same exact person. 🙄
It’s all psychology, and we just need to manipulate things to everyone’s benefit, for they (i.e., the general collective) do not know what they don’t know. Create concrete solutions for the Sensors because a lot of abstract concepts are over their head, even if they seem simple & obvious to you/us.
We know that all truths are self-evident, but that’s apparently not a maxim to all, since their “facts” are actually lies, and compulsive liars can’t distinguish one from the other-I know, because I come from an all-narc family & have been around narcs all my life, almost exclusively.
So.... is that good or bad? 😆
INTJ ladies, we are the perfect match. Come slide in my DM's 😎😎
@@POVofanENFP 😂
@@CoachKiara lol 😆
👀
@nikkireigns Hey hey 👋 What's your IG name?
It explained a lot for me
Hiya! i'd love if you would consider joining my FREE Skool community which I have just started based around personal growth, authenticity and leveraging your personality, as well as appreciating that of others. I am building out a 5- week authenticity course at the moment which I will have available ABSOLUTELY FREE. Would love members to join and throw around ideas and thoughts on what would be of most value. www.skool.com/change-makers-3729/about
you remind me of Teal Swan, she's also an INTJ. I have an INTJ brother
Teal is a tiny bit, nutty, but okay.
@@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied yeah, but we all are to some people. And there's no-one that we can agree with 100%
@@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied when I see my type often I think they are a bit weird, so I'm guessing that my type would see me a bit weird too. lol, that sounds weird, but I haven't found the exact words yet.
Quite Interesting!
I guess you just pick traits/signs you found on internet. It's only the surface of this knowledge.
I suggest people to watch videos of INTJ mbti/typology content creator who go deeper into it, we talk about the 8 functions, how really our brain process informations.
Consider your Fe trickster/blindspot it's important.
What is like for you to have Ni (introverted intuition) ?
Consider also to research about neurodivergence (ADHD, Asperger/Autism...) because INTJ we have high chance to fall into it.
@@Elodie_N_INTJ_Analyzes good advice, I’ve actually been chatting with a certified MBTI specialist recently, getting a in depth assessment and report next week. Appreciate the insight!
Make a video on your take on Entp 😊
@@stefandrenjanin1865 oh some of my favourite people! 🫶🏻 haha I’ll put a note of it
@@CoachKiara ❤️🙂👌
@@CoachKiara no one gives it us like you do 🤣😅😋
Hiya! i'd love if you would consider joining my FREE Skool community which I have just started based around personal growth, authenticity and leveraging your personality, as well as appreciating that of others. I am building out a 5- week authenticity course at the moment which I will have available ABSOLUTELY FREE. Would love members to join and throw around ideas and thoughts on what would be of most value. www.skool.com/change-makers-3729/about
Hi 👋
I think "thinking" women in general are usually not that girly, in both physical appearance and looks (as biology determines both personality AND looks). Similarly for example, gay guys tend to look more feminine _and_ behave more feminine too. I think this aspect is too often overlooked in the personality community, as it's all pretty simple in the sense that our hormones dictate(d) how our bodies and minds evolved as they're all organs under the influence of the hormones and there is a relation between them. We are told not to believe in such ideas because it's a taboo, yet pretty much every cartoon uses it to illustrate the personalities of their characters (by giving them looks that intuitively match that personality)
This is why so many studies people can guess parts of personality based on looks. People can often infer a surprising amount about someone's personality just by looking at their appearance. Research suggests that people can reasonably accurately guess certain personality traits, such as extraversion and confidence, simply by viewing a photo of someone.
In my own observation thinking women tend to be taller on average than feeling women and similarly intuititve thinking women that are introverts oftend to be be tall and pretty slender (like intj). Extraverts tend to be somewhat wider in both face body..Anyway, just some thoughts
💯✨✨
A lot of INTJ women are mistyped as ESFP or ISFP. Like Beyonce. Watch her closely
Ironically ISFJ Jay Z is called an INTJ icon when his wife is the INTJ icon.
Mistyped as esfp? Good God. No, they are not. Is this ironic?
It seems that all itntj,' 11:55 11:55 11:55 s Love from the core
What do you think of these Olympics "Games" in Paris in 2024?
I am not intimidated by you.
They are ridiculous, thanks for asking.
You are very efficient at pretending you are a human, you should teach INTP's
are you me?
@@madlynlithasya haha crazy how strong I resonate with other INTJs! Blows my mind 😂
Feel free to come say hi in the free community I’m building! Would love to have you there! Skool.com/change
OMG👼🏻💖✨
It
no not interesting. flawed.
I’m an INTJ. Made me realize I don’t want any of your bull💩.
Introvert. Irtvdnsleo. Blabla. Blabla.