Yes 100% girl .... I feel like I want to know more and more and more I get excited about learning new things its like I can feel my brain opening new passage ways
I'm an INFJ. I wish I could go to an INFJ Convention. I would love the amazing energy, authenticity, intellect, and conversations. & we would be able to spot any impostors who snuck in! Lol
I betcha almost half of them are either not or probably unsure if they are INFJ. It's difficult to determine if one is an INFJ because the real ones are so rare, not to mention we're a bunch of walking contradictions lmfao
*Question for you INFJs:* Does anyone else tend to unintentionally take things literally? Sometimes it's just a joke and it can take me a minute to realize the person is not being serious.
@@catarinarodrigues3142 yeah depends on who is telling it. My kid is an INTJ and can appear kinda serious so I sometimes do not realize he is joking. :)
As an INFJ, videos like this are comforting, to a point. I feel like I’m not alone for once. But, dang, where the heck are you guys in real life? How come I never meet any of you fellow INFJ’s?! It’s like we’re all perfectly spread out, never to meet each other!...
I have only ever met ONE INFJ in person...she is my Niece (but lives on a different Continent currently). I've resorted to joining several FB groups for Empaths. We can write supportive messages and feel understood as a Tribe, but I do still long to find one near enough to hang out with. Any of you live on the Southern Coast of Spain???
growing up without knowing such things also depleted my self-confidence in a way, i even got to the point that maybe i'm a dumbass and all. because it always takes me time to understand and explain something completely.
Nice to meet you Caleb! My name is Paul. I too watched all the way to the end. It explained me better than I can explain myself. Apparently we're a rare breed. which actually goes against the personality type we don't like to stick out, but we can handle it! Walking paradox.🙂
• Better writer than a speaker • Creative • Emotional so can understand other's • Vision/Goal is the ultimate 🥏 • Possess knowledge on variety of thing's • Intrigued by things that have value And many more like thiz..
Sometimes ppl rephrase what i just said, or take the smallest part of what i said, & act like they made that up. Wow, did you come up w/ that on your own? I dont really identify w/ lack of self identity, lack of awareness. I had to have all of that just to get by. But me being me, yeah no. Thats not how this works. First off, i cant even stand it when ppl think theyre gonna tell me what to do, or try to define me for me. I think im important. I dont think others are. Get mad
Amen!! My husband is a narcissit.....he doesn't even know anything about me. My parents didn't either. We are kinda isolated because no one really is on our level. Our circle is 1 or 2 people and for me it was mainly family members...grandmother, etc. Its a lonely life. People can take u wrong or get intimidated.....its lonely. God becomes your best friend since it was Him who gave us this gift!
I always struggle when I'm asked something and expected to answer on the spot, I feel like I freeze, and it's NOT that I don't have a lot to say, but I really need to process the information carefully before I respond, I wish the world could just slow tf down sometimes, everything feels so chaotic and fast.
Time will increase that ability , but realise that retinance comes with it. People don't understand that there are many negatives for them coming with the truth of your reply. Learning to withdraw from that type of question. You want truth, they really don't want what you speak. Etc.
Not to everyone. If we have an inkling something is off (to us) it probably is. But we can't assume it's also off for everyone else, that is the huge difference ❤
SAME especially since i learned that autism has a wide spectrum and females tend to not be diagnosed until later in life....but now i know I make sense c:
Michelle sensory overload if present is definitely Austism spectrum because its brain wiring, INFJ is personality, not unlike stemming from Narcissism by way of nurturing from childhood.
@@michellematsuoka1738 me too,when i heard together the words empath sensitive ,aform of autism, and then read the"wide spectrum" But then researched n i m not
The isolation that the pandemic has provided has been a haven, I can be alone in glory without the guilt of avoidance, and still be able to be supportive to others by texting, sending cards, just don't ask me to Zoom with you.
Infj's be like....."I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND, WHY CANT YOU UNDERSTAND!?" While in the process of explaining how you feel, you too find yourself understanding why they don't understand..... UNDERSTAND!?
I feel satisfied knowing someone was able to voice that perfectly without myself having to explain it in lamen's terms for people lacking in understanding. Thank you.
I'm 71 infj. What you are doing is very WORTHWHILE. It takes a lifetime to figure out what is happening in one's existence; to make sense of one's being. Never loose faith in your value. Thank you.
My dad came to this country penniless. Worked at a factory 6 1/2 days a week. 16 hours a day. Raised three kids. Put me through grad school. He was an INFJ. Guess what. He didn’t have time or the energy to care he was. Anyone who has the time and luxury to dwell on their personality is guess what…a luxury.
I found in the past two years to be sensitive to your own boundries. If someone is stepping on your toes about your time and guilt tripping you; make space. There's one narcissistic friend who is on the mild end of the spectrum and I like her company (for1 or 2 hours max) and she benefits because I taught her to meditate and I've encouraged her to look inside and face her loneliness that's eating everything away. People need you. You can help people and understand them in a safe way.
Jac G yeh... me too!!! I’ve learned you have to remember you have an obligation to set your own boundaries. You owe it to yourself. We have to remember to take care of ourselves too!
I’m an INFJ who married an INFJ. We’ve been together for over 7 years now and have travelled the world, built multiple businesses together, and have cultivated a life abundant in love, joy, and laughter. Life itself is challenging, but when you find the right person, every obstacle becomes an opportunity to grow and know yourself on a deeper level. If you’re out there looking for that special person, remember first and foremost that the person you’re looking for is yourself. If you can’t love yourself unconditionally on every level, you will be unable to love someone else unconditionally and see the beauty in their imperfections.
TR Life YES!! I’m great at appearing outgoing and extroverted, but I’m really not. OMG I’m exhausted after being around people, and I’m reflecting confidence rather than having any authentic feelings of confidence!
Yes! Even if people are upset with me, I want to know and know why! I hate it when I can sense that someone doesn't like me or is mad at me, but they pretend nothing is wrong!
I thought I was all alone in being the way that I am. I literally started crying when you started talking about friendships and how INFJ views friendships, because I was so happy/relieved that I'm not alone in this way of thinking/evaluating friendships. Always hearing from other people how weird you are, or people telling you that you're wrong for being the way you are (even from your own parents), but now finally having an explanation for why and seeing that you're not alone & it's not wrong (it's literally just the way that you are) is literally life changing. I don't even have the words... Thank you
I'm 69 years old. All my life, I felt that NOBODY ELSE is like me, The ENTIRE population of Earth is round holes but I'm a square peg, the stork dropped me off on the wrong planet, I have no place here. Several months ago, I stumbled onto this MBTI stuff. My jaw hit the floor when I found out that there are more of me. It feels validating, like I'm not alone in this world, that I'm not crazy - there are reasons that I am the way I am.
Cheer up remember you are not alone one day you'll find an infj aswell and I don't know be friends share life experiences but not all trust issues is a thing
It's somewhat amusing how I can watch his eyes dart about the room, and understand there's a thinking process going on in there. I swear, INFJ's have a universal way of talking and wording their sentences, sometimes sounding like we're going in circles but 'no no, we're getting to the conclusion, just wait!' We can't fully describe our way of thought process through technical means, we have to give examples, hoping they make sense even if the examples are more like our feelings and/or experiences. Talking to an INFJ is like painting a picture where some see colours and shapes when we talk as though there is this journey we take and it's deep and a little confusing yet it makes sense to us. Videos like these help me understand myself - studying how I might sound from a listener's point of view. I know I'm not crazy because there are so many hidden INFJ treasures out there that think and feel exactly the same. And it's this subtle, silent intimacy we all share.
I made my first live video recently on Facebook, and I know exactly what you're talking about. I noticed instantly how this guy talks and thinks, and how it felt and looked so similar to my own mannerisms. Spot on!
Now you two make me feel like I should make a video and watch myself. I often feel like I can't articulate well in any languages I speak. I had thought for a long time that it was because of my language efficiency. But I think it is just how INFJs think and express. I feel like words can't express what is inside.
I felt like I was watching and hearing myself in the way he talks, mannerisms, descriptions, trying to be technical and end up over-analyzing to the point where you become self-conscious, have so many thoughts going through your head but can't seem to get them out quick enough and in the thorough way that you want to. I drive myself crazy writing, talking, etc....
I know an infj that seduces me mirroring me. He is excellent at saying what I want to hear. He doesn't know about personalities and I'm an infp. He looks so confident on the outside but he doubts himself in front of confident people.
I think that's why people don't get us and think we are either stupid or very sneaky (able to hide our agenda which they think must be like theirs, ie. fucked up).
OMG, yes!! The INFJ door slam! I’ve been told so many times that I’m heartless because I shut people out when I’ve reached my limit with their behavior. I have no problem cutting people out of my life when they stop earning my trust, or failed to earn it. I feel like it’s that contradiction in some people that keeps me from trusting and forming relationships with people I thought I had made a connection with. So frustrating!
“This is wrong. This is dirty.” I so get that feeling of inauthenticity. It feels like pain right in my stomach. Or a headache. I feel it physically. Great video. Thanks. As we all sit in our own spaces self analyzing and feeling less alone for now.
I work with a girl that talks constantly and to make things worse, she’s never actually saying anything. If I try to talk, she cuts me off to say what she needs to say. She does it to everyone and she never actually listens to what anyone has to say. It’s awful.
Do you mean no one is an INFJ? It would logical to think, and feel so, since people's exposure to INFJ's are so limited, and when they meet one the person is either in an Extroverted state overall, at the time. When we go Introvert we disappear comppletly, but we always come back out looking like a full Extrovert. What I am trying to say is you don't see many, or see them often when you do. Best way to notice one, since we mirror others, is the "disappearing act"; which is usually pretty noticeable. At least in my teens, where you are trying to figure yourself out and balance out, it was very noticeable. Enough for every group I hung out in to call me " Houdini", or say something like "You pulled a Bruce, huh, Houdini". Bruce is my name by the way. Many groups, and most didn't know people from my other groups, so it wasn't linked, but reoccured all through every group my whole teens to young 20's. Lots go into Religious, Psychology, Medical, and Acting jobs. Jobs where you have brief exposure to them from time to time.
We kind of sound dumb for being so deeply logical and intuitive. Ha ha. I find it's one thing that makes people less scared of me. I always want others to reach their own conclusions also. But we sound dumb. SMH.
"We want to make people feel good because that makes us feel good because we are absorbing their emotions." Holy hell, no wonder it's easier to be a loner. My feeling good depends on everyone else feeling good. I'll take nature any day.
I usually can't sit and watch people explain INFJ personality types but I am easily able to listen to your video. I can immediately tell a fellow INFJ and it's like a breath of fresh air right now hearing someone explain all the things I'm going through right now. I truly wish there were INFJ support groups, especially for when we're in the grips of our shadow functions. Thank you for the content. 🙌
Pretty strange isn't it? It's like we're cut from the same cloth, but have different souls. Putting all of us into the same room would break the space time continuum me thinks
I was going to make the same comment! That’s another really good point that it’s so hard for an INFJ to not only not understand how they feel themselves, but we don’t know how we look or come off to other people either.
@@heatherdellosa9220 yes! So true like I don't care how I come off to other people but I'm always thinking about it because I don't really trust if the person genuinely likes me either
"It has to make sense," THIS!!!! Exactly! If it doesn't make sense to me, I'm not doing it. That's gotten me in trouble with parents & even some jobs, I have no patience for "because I said so/that's the way it is" make it make sense if you want ME to do it.
@@urbanmidwayelitevendors6440 exactly. For me, a friend is some one who I will know forever and can trust. Not the types to hang out with meaningless. I don't even want and give my number to certain people I know. I could hang out with them and everything, but nah, I don't want your number. Or let me put it like this: I don't want YOU to have MY number... or e-mail, or whatever.
I wish I could find a friend like I have been to certain people only to be let down by them in some way. It's always been I give way more then I received, and I'm not referring to gifts. It's hard not to want to think that if you're putting in 50 that they could at least do their 50 it always ends up 90 me 10 them. Then resentment sits in and, I start to distance myself, till eventually it's nonexistent. The only way to really deal with it is not to except even 1% from anyone then I don't get so hurt and disappointed. Which is why I'm fine just doing my own thing.
This entire 47 minutes 43 seconds duration was the first time I felt understood. From the thought processes and for all the characteristics you somehow put into words are too relatable. Thank you for this! As an INFJ, I'm really happy to know other INFJs truly exists and I'm even happier to know I'm not alone
"We don't really like culture" 😂😂 That hit me so hard. It's true. As awful as that sounds, it's true. I have an inner hippie wanting to run away from society and build a lifestyle block, but no that's wrong. I'm part of society and am part of improving it. I always ask do people go to school, university, get an awesome job, settle down and start a nuclear family because they are simply told to? What do we really want? 40 hour work weeks? Or just flourish, cook good food, have dinner with good friends and create something beautiful? 🍇🍍👩🌾
ha yeah, I think a lot of what people do is because they're told that's what they're supposed to do. Me included, and it's taken me a long time to have the confidence to admit I might not want to do a lot of that stuff actually.
That’s is so relatable. I’ve been wanting to runaway and start my own society of quirky, whimsical and unusual individuals who value their uniqueness and freedom but that’s just close to impossible to do😭
"People hate it, when you point out their logic." Every. single. damn. time. This is where and probably why Im always misunderstood. I mean, I just wanna know the answer why your logic don't get in line with your defenses. Don't fight me.
I am Me same! I don’t know why but I would always say stuff like ‘more happier’ when it should just be ‘happier’. Or ‘I ate food’ when it should have been in have eaten food’. My friends got really mad at me for some reason and they really did dig at me for getting these things wrong. They said they wud stop until I get it right but damn, they were acting like I was wrongly diffusing some nuke
I used to think that my ordinary everyday ruminations, IE, thinking things over and interspersing them with oblique or random ideas were mere attempts at profitless woolgathering, but now I'm not so sure!
When you said "authenticity" is one of your core values, that absolutely resonated with me. I did a CBT session with my therapist a couple of years ago where we conducted a card sorting exercise, ranking different values from 'most important to me' to 'least important to me', and "authenticity" came out on top (out of around 30 values). I find it somewhat ironic though, because actually displaying authenticity is something I've struggled with immensely. I suppose this feeds into the whole INFJ 'people-pleasing' mode.
Spot on! My jaw dropped when you mentioned getting into relationships with a narcissistic personality. I wish I had known I was a INFJ sooner to avoid that chapter in my life.
@@jenmurphy7777 Cut off all communication and ghost them. Don't answer their calls. Don't refer to them on social media. Nothing. Like they never existed. It's hard, I had to do it when I was in a very unhealthy 10+ year relationship, but I did it and you will be able to breathe again and find happiness, even if its alone. Just don't look back.
@@jenmurphy7777 the advice to ghost them is spot on. I was raised by a narcissist and my childhood was a nightmare. There two years since I went no contact with my parents have been the best two years of my life.
Your speech patterns, your body language and the way you pause to think, and kind of look at the space as you try to form sentences, and obviously the things you're saying... it really feels like I'm looking at the male equivalent of myself, a sort of a mirror. It's weird, but I kinda appreciate it.
I literally just thought that, scrolled down and saw your comment. It's really uncanny, especially AS a male INFJ. I've watched a lot of INFJ videos over the years, but Clay is almost the only male TH-camr that I believe is a real INFJ.
I am an introvert in a sense that I like being alone. I like doing things alone. People have to drag me out of my house so I can go out. But when I'm out, I like to hang out with friends (3 people max) . more than that I start to get quiet again and feel drained. lol. I am very emotional and sensitive BUT I try to rationalize my feelings and I can control my emotions well. I'd rather shut you out completely than have a row with you. I'm not loud or aggressive but I am very assertive of my opinion. Growing up, I was the oddball. People still see me as weird. Not my actions, but the way I think.
Same. U have to really convince me to come out the house a lot of the time and I misunderstand what other people mean a lot. They look at me like wtf why would you think that and I tell them and they're like oh.. I guess I never thought of that
People see me as weird too lol. Because I’m an introvert too but I’m an ISFP and have a crazily chatty online persona. And my art is literally art and books. I just can’t stop writing fictional books.
@@prettypristinepoetry8984 that's nice. you should publish your stories. :) introverts unite. hehehre. good thing we're introverts during this stay at home policy.
I'm 64 years old. I only became aware of the MB Test and INFJ about 2 years ago. FINALLY hearing stories like this pulled that plug of pressure of thinking I was a loser and a freak. Now that I can listen to stories like this gives me the place that I KNOW I belong, I've found my herd. IT FINALLY MAKES SENSE! I also understand why I was attracted to a ultimate NARCISSIST and worked endlessly trying to make myself worthy. About 10 years ago I stopped playing into his game and I started to work on my own business, I became HUGELY successful and no longer gave into his whims. We had been together for 22 years. So then he DUMPED me. A few years later - I found out he only did it as an attempt to manipulate me to get me back in line - NEVER imagining that I would stay gone. But after about a year on my own - I discovered this INCREDIBLE person hidden inside myself that just exploded in every wonderful direction imaginable. I was - and still am - heartbroken that it didn't work out, but I'd never go back. All the same - ALL of these traits are still alive inside me that make me want to serve others. And I don't fight it too much, but I try to keep it on the healthy side for my own survival. But it's GREAT to be able to listen to you, Clay, and know that I'm not a sick, twisted mess - I'm just wired differently. And FINALLY understanding what it's all about - I LOVE BEING THE PERSON THAT i AM ! ! !
@@theserenecorner Thank you so very much for your kindness and understanding! It's hearing from people like yourself that inspires me to keep moving forward. All the very best you and thanks again for taking they time to read my thoughts and to take the time to reach out. People like you inspire me that I'm on the right path. THANK YOU ! ! !
I find myself using humor as a defense mechanism socially, like the nurse said I was the only person that was joking while experiencing a heart attack they had ever seen. So stress me and I become Robin Williams humor wise, I don’t do impressions.
Everyone thinks, that I'm strong, but i feel so weak, so small, so nothing, when it's about myself. If it's about the others, i can explode to protect them from harmless. It's like to be the biggest and the smallest at the same time. To be INFJ.
Bro I had an epiphany while watching this video. You reminded me of what's important and how to value my talents. I'm going to do what I love and the money will come. I was always so hard on myself that I forgot what I was good at 😭😭😭
Just found out I was INFJ in my 40s and now it all makes sense. I thought I was the only weird guy; one of a kind. But after hearing other INFJs talk about themselves I feel so relieved there are others like me.
@@ClayArnall Indeed. However, as much as I embrace the person that I am, I think being an INFJ always makes me want to be someone else; yet not. If you can understand that.
I just turned 40 and looked into all this Brigs personality a while back but it's just a small part of a complex equation for me. I embraced the underground 90s freaks while in highschool to feel more normal and it helped, then researched dyslexia around early 2000's because I am, then researched being raised by a narcissist ( dad a complete narcissist ) in 2010 after interactions w my family after my grandma passed because WOW WAKE UP CALL ( my family is all Dick's ) and finally somewhere in 2015 I ran into the 16 personality types. I still feel more akin to the freaks and upfront, don't hold back weirdos in the world. It's a breath of fresh air around this kind of people because I'm getting to learn who I am without having to do the blend in to keep the piece thing. I can let go of the facade of nicesty's and explore the " self perceived shadow" in order to find my own balance. Thank you for your comment ☺️ Sorry for the life story spew.
@@lynnmarie647 Indeed it is Marie. We found some comfort in knowing that there are others like us out there, but we're still weird haha. Now it is time to make the best of this uniqueness.
This. so much. I grew up thinking something was wrong with me because I was different, thought differently, processed things differently. Wasn't until college that I discovered the personality types and my entire childhood made sense.
It was not until my relationship with a narcissist that I realised I was an INFJ. My ability to "read people like a book" proves to be my protective shield by acknowledging my own self worth. Thank you for this insight!
I just want to say I love you all INFJs and I wish you a great happiness and successful life ! 😂☺️💗 Also, here is a game you can try my fellow INFJs if you're okay with it! It's game of analyzing! The title may seem a little complicated but it's simpler than you think, It's just a practice to understand you're level of analyzing as we INFJs can analyze but don't forget that we still have different thoughs ,habits and opinions as well as experiences! So your analyze shouldn't necessarily follow the other INFJs', It's just to try and control our ability to scan and analyze! So, how to do so? Simple, you only have to go for example to a bakery or a store or any place you like where you get to choose something out of other things, and try to choose what you think is better while explaining why you didn't choose the other ones, and it'll be fun! Btw, sorry for my bad grammar 😂🤭💗
You got me when you said "I guess my parents did the best they could do" and you didn't give any examples. I just felt you, right there. That's one thing that we really struggle with. Thanks for your video.
ha ha, the amount of times i remember my parents just looking at me with that puzzled look on their faces.. like is she for real?? who is this person?? but they definitely tried and went with it, which set me up for disappointment in the real world, lol. only sort of joking. :P
Yes. So much this. I went to therapy recently for help with anxious-preoccupied attachment issues, which typically are formed in early childhood by parental care being inconsistent or odd. After a few sessions, my therapist basically threw his hands up and was like "you were raised fine. I don't think the issues you have with relationships are related to your upbringing." Then I took the MBTI test and got INFJ-T, read and watched a bunch of stuff, and now I'm like... ....I get it. My parents have always said I was odd for a kid and they frequently thought of me as an "old man" in a child's body when I was young. I've always been ahead in school, ahead in so many things, but crappy at relationships and relating to people in general. I'm lucky to have some good friends but in general, I have a very difficult time associating with people unless it's just surface level stuff that I can fake my way through.
@@xnflg3074 wooooow me too. I also have anxious-preoccupied attachment and I’ve been wondering was it because my mum literally hugged me all the time, I know I was raised perfectly 🤣🤣 but I never connected my “shyness” as a kid could have been from being INFJ, like I loved playing with kids but I usually didn’t form deep bonds and was always worried about what others thought of me and tried to be nice to everyone, all the while eager to go home to go play by myself
You know you are INFJ. Because you research INFJ and figure it out in so many sources. And we are so reflective. Thanks for the authenticity you deliver. It is validating my experience this far!
Yes. Definitely deep connections are a must for me. If not, it's a waste of time and energy. Went to my religious meeting this week and the speaker started out with the definition of "shallow: materialistic, relations with fellow humans and his appreciation for spiritual values will suffer, too lazy to think deeply and gain attention by intelligent speaking." Then the question was asked, "Are You Shallow?" Unfortunately a lot of people are shallow. Hence Their issue with INFJs and their ignorance of differences in people.
INFJ-T here, I haven't even watched the whole video yet but what you said of how school gives you problems and you don't have enough time to soak it in is SO TRUE! Like for real, whenever I used to get an essay question I'd really have to think about it but once I start writing down the answer I feel unstoppable and get really good marks. It was always the timing that stressed me out tho :/
I totally agree on the friendships stuff, needing honesty, deep emotional and intellectual secure connections, and authenticity (and loyalty and trustworthiness is important too). Also I think INFJs make friends because we want those connections and to be a good friend without any other agendas and that's not always well understood by others heh.
I felt so seen and heard in this video. For so long I wondered if there was something wrong with me or if im just "weak", but finally learning im and INFJ and learning what that means, it gave me a beautiful sense of being understood. Thank you
Right??? I'm just dumbfounded. Just found out today that I'm an INFJ. I could never understand what was wrong with me. Here, there isn't anything wrong with me. We are just a very select few group of people that are just good. Really good people.
Wow! As an INFP, I could relate with so many aspects of your feelings, personality and the situations you've been through. Some of the things you were talking I felt like I was talking with myself, because I lived almost the exact same things. Mainly the authenticity part and to be forced to make a choice between being authentic or loyal. Great video!
Oh my gosh, yes! I now know that I am an INFJ. I was labeled as "shy" right through high school. I always felt different from everyone all the time as I grew up and I thought there was something wrong with me. I ended up with depression. I was so confused about everyone around me being so happy in this noisy world. They didn't get tired as quickly as I did around large groups of people or certain people. Knowing myself better now has helped me become soooo happy! I know what I need to do to be emotionally healthy at all times. I don't have to force myself to "fit in" as I was taught to do by my family and school experiences while I was growing up.
I've taken the test twice in my life, years apart, and I got INFJ both times. Slowly learning about myself. Hearing that male INFJs are even more rare makes it feel daunting.
dont concentrate on the rare . this kicks me each time on the island , on my own . I deliberate choose to shift my mind to what I can do with it. be encouraged .
I'm also INFJ Male. 38 yrs old found out I was INFJ couple years ago. We're interesting to say the least. Always trust yourself. I hate liars and tell the truth bluntly. Burnt bridges don't get rebuild in my town. Love loyalty. Get your space have your time. It's hard to explain. If you ever have question reach out. If not peace,love and happiness
I’m an INFJ and you just explained my teenage angst to a T!!! I get myself into trouble a lot even as an adult because of my unwillingness to go with the crowd. I’ve ALWAYS been that way. challenging management etc... oh and all the ridiculous rules. That’s why I’ve always loved the song, “Signs” The picking up of other feelings is real and exhausting. Crowds are overwhelming. I’m fully tripping out right now because I feel like I’m listening to my self! This is amazing and so comforting. Thank you so very much.
I concur to your entire statement.. I am cringing that I am going to get fired for all the lazy management around me. I absolutely hate crowds of any sort. Gosh.. are you me? lol
I wish I had u as my elder brother so we could talk for hours and never feel misunderstood. ❤ Thank u for sharing these. I am an INFJ, and I feel every word.
I laughed at that last statement you made: "If you've made it this far then you're probably an INFJ." Lol I really enjoyed the truths you shared about INFJs, especially authenticity over loyalty. Great insight! Thanks for sharing. I always wondered why I couldn't engage people in small talks, but bring up questions about the mysteries of this life (philosophy), human behavior (psychology), God, science, world affairs, nature, etc... and I will surely poke my head out of my thoughts (with a smile) like "helloo, did you call my name? You deserve my time, let's talk." Lol
I’ve always felt different. Even when I find a group of people I click well with and that love me, I still don’t feel like I fit in with them. And I always like to know the why of everything. When I was a kid and I got in trouble I always felt like I needed to explain why what I was doing was logical to me. Lol this was a fabulous find.
ha ha.. can relate. i always felt like i needed to explain to my dad why what he was doing was wrong lol. like yelling no get results dumb dumb. lol. reverse lectures. raising my parents. it was so divorced of emotion though. it took time to realize i can just say this affects me or i need this.. that didn't feel like an option growing up, it would have been 'selfish' but now i realize i need those type of more personal,vulnerable expression of boundaries to function.
I’m an INFJ in my 20s, and considering what I went through all throughout my education years, I wish this video existed years ago. I’ve tried pleasing other people until it only made me seem like I’m just trying too hard. One difficult time was when I trusted someone with my thoughts, only to find out that that person was talking behind my back. I completely shut down. Door slams do exist, especially when you decided to open the door.
Amen to that! Choose your friends wisely. You might have 5,000 friends on FB, but how of those are your ACTUAL FRIENDS OUTSIDE OF SOCIAL MEDIA? There are too many fakes, liars, backstabbers, two-faced people or just brown nosing ones! Who needs them anyway? I am introverted and an INFJ myself. So less is more. Better to have a few great friends than 5,000 fake ones! No time for that!
@@tonyabailey183 I deleted my Facebook in 2016. Since then, I've heard from 5 people from my "friends list". The last one dropped off last month. It's lonely, but it's f-ing peaceful. 🤷♀️
Lol. When said, “what process in my mind is answering questions even when I’m not thinking about anything...?” I laughed out loud in my kitchen, like same dude. It is curious to really consider this question. I honestly take this aspect of my cognition for granted, but you’re so right.
I am an INFJ and wow this video is freaking me out 😂 I feel everything he's talking about. The part of not trusting yourself because at some point you realize you don't go along with the crowd. I feel weak but I come of as confident and intimidating. I am going to binge watch his videos.
I need to thank you for making this video. In true INFJ fashion, I got all teary-eyed while watching this because it is the first time in my 35 years on this earth that I have felt truly understood. It almost felt surreal listening to these insights. I've spent so much of my life wondering why I always felt like I understood everyone else, but no one fully understood me, and now I have my answer. I mean, I have family that has known me all my life that couldn’t have described me in half the detail you provided! This feeling was so alienating, and at many points when I was younger it was downright depressing. For example, here is this person who birthed you and on so many levels, you feel as if they don’t really know you. How depressing is that? And you never really understand why no one fully gets you because you are being 100% authentic. This is who you really are and you couldn’t and wouldn’t want to be fake, so why don’t these people know you? I spent a great deal of time coming to terms with this and convincing myself that it was just the way I would have to go through life. No one would ever fully understand me, so I needed to become comfortable in that reality. And here I am learning I’M NOT ALONE!!! Ahhhh!!! I could just scream, I’m so happy! Hahaha! And thank you for giving me the new term of “the INFJ door slam”. I’ve had many moments in my life where I’ve done the INFJ door slam and had people tell me it just seemed so sudden. But what they don’t comprehend is that I know myself well enough to trust that when I am done, I am done for all the right reasons. At that point, I have done so much reflection on why I feel the way I do that I trust the conclusion that I came to (because it took me a while to get there). It wasn’t sudden at all, even though to an outsider, that is the way it is perceived. Anyways, I could keep rambling (of course) but I won’t subject you to that. I just wanted to say thank you, thank you, thank you. This video was so incredibly appreciated. It made my year, and with the year we are having, I really needed this. Ha!
I just about fell over when you said the most important thing to you is authenticity! INFJ here. That's so me! This personality test is so eerily accurate.
When you said authenticity is one of the most important values for you it blew my mind. For me it is the same thing. I mentioned that so often and it is quite amazing to find out it is common for INFJs
"I laughed out loud when you said at the end of the video " You probably are an INFJ if you've made it this far". My favorite friend in this world for interesting conversations is an INTJ. Wish I could meet some other INFJ's. I often give so much in relationships and end up feeling a bit used and disappointed in others. Like you say, people know we want to help. I'm doing this less as I mature and becoming more discerning with who I extend that help and energy to. People with narcissistic traits are drawn to me, I had to read up about narcissism in order to understand and protect my boundaries.Yes! authenticity and honesty most important to me in any relationship. This video was pretty spot on thanks!!!!
Hey I don't know I was also born with a gift since I'm little so I've been told by psychics I don't know since I was 19 it was invited to a psychic institute He went over the divider and told me he is my card He says I know your psychic is too little I want to take you have this enormous amount of energy and you got a halo over you and I was up north and I came back down south Jersey but I'm originally from Manhattan and I never went because I already knew I had a gift and it's so freaky but my family looks at me like I'm crazy I had these blown glasses one was in turquoise and one was clear and I had this I get this enormous amount of energy and I have dreams to come true and I get these feelings and then I have visions since I'm little and one with turquoise one was clear I turned the clear one into red and I turned the turquoise into green and I shrunk it and since then it's like how I'm 63 years old I've been living at this long The only thing is is I also feel death and it comes so that's the car so I don't know what I am anymore I just know I got a gift and super sensitive to and I've been to it having intuition that I get feelings highly sensitive in this energy and then I see things from the feeling and the girls guys just I don't know then I'm off tomorrows too sometimes I just do so many things at once and think I become super focused I do so many things at once and all of a sudden my girlfriend says how do you do that and you be able to do research and go back to the same thing and multitask and there's other things I can't do at all so I don't know guys you tell me
WOW. This video, this thread.... I wish I’d have understood myself and my idiosyncrasies ahead of marrying two types of narcissists. This seems to be the attraction to our types.
INTP here. I have basically read everything on quora about INFJ’s but still don’t seem to have the full picture. Having felt misunderstood for most of my life it is comforting to know that there other types that are on the same boat. I met the most amazing person who is completely selfless and has taught me so much, always willing to help others even when it isn’t appreciated. I found out she is an INFJ and have been learning everything about this type since. I really liked the video, there are lots of people who want to try to understand you, even if they never understand all of your layers. Please never stop being who you are, the world is in desperate need for you INFJ’s. You cast a light on this world that makes people better. Please take care of yourselves too and surround yourself with good people who help keep you up. Thanks for reading.
TheRealYeti - Wow. Oh, here we go...that brought tears to my eyes. Seriously. I needed to hear that. Thank you for your kind, encouraging affirming words.
"Completing DESTROY that argument".... Absolute LOVE IT....:) ....and " let me put my work to the SIDE and help you"....bbbbbooooiiiee....thx again ..... See You at Your DESTINY....... -Universe "Coach"
One of the things that irks me when it comes to regular types is the lack of depth be it of emotion or interests outside the usual topics. Modern society basically opposes almost everything the INFx embodies.
I totally agree with you on this!! It's depressing at times and that's when it's like "how does anyone ever get what life's about?" It just starts a whole tangent in the mind contemplating life and society... You know how it is 😅
I agree. When trying to converse with someone you realize just how shallow some people are and not necessarily on purpose it's like they don't want to dig deep into any subject at all and it makes me wonder why they're not curious about everything
Bam that's me too! Reading a book and two pages later I realize I'm living in my own fantasy conversation and I have to go back and reread everything I wasn't listening to.
I have known I am INFJ for a while and it's made complete sense to me. But hearing you describe it in your point of view opposed to the usual "signs of" resonated so deeply in me. You spoke on so many things that I feel so much and that I have never heard in other videos. Thank you for sharing your story ❤️
It used to drive me nuts when my mother used to tell me to do something and I'll ask why? hoping for an explanation and all you get is "because I say so!" 🙄
we have a lot in common in the way we grew up... I excelled in music, sports and academics also, and most people I grew up around probably never knew me as introverted because I was a leader in all those areas... also, the best teaching I've heard, that made the most sense to me about the "feeling" aspect of INFJs is that we intuitively read other people and know how they're feeling because we feel what they feel, but not on an emotional level, it's more like we absorb their energy and it's automatic because of the way we're wired... I'm also like you in that I do a lot of thinking, so the "feeling" aspect is what tripped me up, as well... until I ran across the teaching about soaking up other people's energies, which drains us, hence, the need to have enough alone time to recharge... To me, someone that's really emotional makes decisions based on emotions and exhibits their emotions a lot (like extroverts) and obviously, that's not INFJs... because we are all about intuition... and we intuitively know things, which is a whole other way of making your way through life, right? We don't try to figure things out so much as we intuitively know things... which I believe is why we come to resolution of problems over time and they just "come to us" In fact, I now "catch myself" when I'm thinking too hard about something and just give it over to God, knowing He'll eventually show me what I need to know, and I just need to do what I know to do right now and it'll come to me... and it always does... it's amazing that way, yes? I also don't like someone telling me what to do when it doesn't make sense... and authenticity is so important to me, as well, and so is being true to yourself... in fact, when I've been in toxic relationships, the thing that bothers me most is that I've been "forced" to betray my integrity in order to "keep peace" - I'm working my way through one right now. I also grew up in an environment where I learned I couldn't trust myself... (because of a dysfunctional relationship with a sibling)... and you're right, it causes you to always wonder what's wrong with you, when the real question I should have asked myself is what's going on with this person that's causing me to question what I think, and makes me stuff everything whenever there's conflict... because the message I was always getting from this person was I'm wrong, or I have no right to express my opinion, so therefore, the only right response is to just shut up and forget about it. and you're right, this learned inability to trust yourself carries over into every aspect of your life. I also can't stand the status quo or the "hierarchy"... Seeing the path forward and FOLLOWING it... is KEY!!! and NOT letting anybody talk us out of it.
ya, been there with the sibling. its brutal. it takes guts to face the raw truth about it. i think i always knew but i would make that trade off to be able to help her heal and have that closeness. people get very jealous and intimidated by us - hard for us to even understand as we don't tend to see people that way usually. i find sometimes i have to take the space and just pray for others instead of maintaining a relationship. pretty lonely, not what i would choose if i could change things. but it feels like this is our inherited struggle to move a heavy past in to a radically different future full of real potential.
I felt that giving it to God and trusting He will intuitively tell you what to do. I needed that today thank you. So much of what you said resonates. But for me I am the only girl out of 5 boys so I’ve always felt more like outsider my whole life…I find it extremely difficult to form close bonds with people but I love to have friends to go on adventures with or just to be social.
OMG! I’m an older woman old enough to be your mother and you taught me so much about myself that I needed to know but didn’t give myself time to do because I lived for others before myself. I am just beginning but I will get there.Thank you so much & Domo Arigato 😍🙏🏽😍
Us INFJs looooove to research a topic once we become intrigued. We want all the knowledge!!
I'm currently stuck on the pyramids 😂
Yes 100% girl .... I feel like I want to know more and more and more I get excited about learning new things its like I can feel my brain opening new passage ways
Yes!
Definetly
YES. Won’t stop until I’m a subject matter expert on it!
I'm an INFJ. I wish I could go to an INFJ Convention. I would love the amazing energy, authenticity, intellect, and conversations. & we would be able to spot any impostors who snuck in! Lol
probaly the most boring convention ever, I would probably start calling everyone out
I'm an INTJ, INFJ is the only personality type I feel connected to on several levels. INFJ people appeal to me the most.
I betcha almost half of them are either not or probably unsure if they are INFJ. It's difficult to determine if one is an INFJ because the real ones are so rare, not to mention we're a bunch of walking contradictions lmfao
Feel free to visit my infj tube
There'd be heaps of interlopers turning up to get free counseling
*Question for you INFJs:* Does anyone else tend to unintentionally take things literally? Sometimes it's just a joke and it can take me a minute to realize the person is not being serious.
That was my question too for so long.
nah not really
I kind of perceive if it was a joke or not by body language and tone of speech. When they say we read people like a book, they're not lying (´･_･`).
@@catarinarodrigues3142 yeah depends on who is telling it. My kid is an INTJ and can appear kinda serious so I sometimes do not realize he is joking. :)
it's called sarcasm and that has two paths, i'm dark so i'd probably get it it...most would over try to over think it
As an INFJ, videos like this are comforting, to a point. I feel like I’m not alone for once. But, dang, where the heck are you guys in real life? How come I never meet any of you fellow INFJ’s?! It’s like we’re all perfectly spread out, never to meet each other!...
We’re probably all at home hiding.
I think alot of people dont know these things, one of my closest friends for25 years I didnt know she was also an infj until the last couple years.
I’m at home hiding I think we all are lol
most likely chillin at home listening to music and vibing alone 😂
I have only ever met ONE INFJ in person...she is my Niece (but lives on a different Continent currently). I've resorted to joining several FB groups for Empaths. We can write supportive messages and feel understood as a Tribe, but I do still long to find one near enough to hang out with. Any of you live on the Southern Coast of Spain???
We feel like Aliens most of the time... We get extremely excited when we find others that could possibly understand.
Agreed, nice to meet you Stephen.🙂
Awww hugs ♥️
I swear I have spent half of my life wondering when the mother-ship is going to come and take me home :) You are so right...
Yeaaaaaaaaaaa indeed
Absolutely!
"It FEELS like I do a lot of thinking." Classic INFJ. I can relate.
Michael Warden I too😂😂
growing up without knowing such things also depleted my self-confidence in a way, i even got to the point that maybe i'm a dumbass and all. because it always takes me time to understand and explain something completely.
I'll be in my head.
Yo ....what lol I didn't even realize he said that but I was like BROOO me too
@Brandon Perry my wife: oh gosh, you're about to Google it?
Me: (looking for my phone) Yup. Lol
Shout out to all the INFJs who watched till the end, read many of the comments and then Ghosted back to reality. i feel you here..
😂😂😂
Shout out to the one INFJ I know personally!! Hey Caleb fancy meeting you here.. lol
Caleb Waters 😂😂😂
didn't watch to the end!!
Nice to meet you Caleb! My name is Paul. I too watched all the way to the end. It explained me better than I can explain myself. Apparently we're a rare breed. which actually goes against the personality type we don't like to stick out, but we can handle it! Walking paradox.🙂
• Better writer than a speaker
• Creative
• Emotional so can understand other's
• Vision/Goal is the ultimate 🥏
• Possess knowledge on variety of thing's
• Intrigued by things that have value
And many more like thiz..
Yep
This is true
Exactly
Well said, and entirely too true for comfort lol
I'm an INFJ and I wish I could have intelligent conversation with others
Sometimes ppl rephrase what i just said, or take the smallest part of what i said, & act like they made that up. Wow, did you come up w/ that on your own?
I dont really identify w/ lack of self identity, lack of awareness. I had to have all of that just to get by. But me being me, yeah no. Thats not how this works. First off, i cant even stand it when ppl think theyre gonna tell me what to do, or try to define me for me. I think im important. I dont think others are. Get mad
I totally agree with this.
Amen!! My husband is a narcissit.....he doesn't even know anything about me. My parents didn't either. We are kinda isolated because no one really is on our level. Our circle is 1 or 2 people and for me it was mainly family members...grandmother, etc.
Its a lonely life. People can take u wrong or get intimidated.....its lonely. God becomes your best friend since it was Him who gave us this gift!
I'm an ENFP and I wish I could have meaningful conversations with others.
Share whatsapp number....here is another INFJ
Give me a job and leave me alone so I can do it!
fukin eh. like just get the hell out of my way and let me work hahaha
This so true for me
Cuz other people are distracting
Omfg...if this isn't true.
I just said that this morning.
I always struggle when I'm asked something and expected to answer on the spot, I feel like I freeze, and it's NOT that I don't have a lot to say, but I really need to process the information carefully before I respond, I wish the world could just slow tf down sometimes, everything feels so chaotic and fast.
I know that feeling it haunts me daily
I research upcoming situations and pre plan my response: not 100% effective but at least I am confident in most situations
This is sooo me.
Time will increase that ability , but realise that retinance comes with it. People don't understand that there are many negatives for them coming with the truth of your reply. Learning to withdraw from that type of question. You want truth, they really don't want what you speak. Etc.
💯💯💯 and the extrovert types often force you into an immediate response. So frustrating.
What I have learn as an INFJ is to always trust your instinct. If something is off, it really is.
Not to everyone. If we have an inkling something is off (to us) it probably is. But we can't assume it's also off for everyone else, that is the huge difference ❤
so i thought i was autistic, this makes more sense
SAME especially since i learned that autism has a wide spectrum and females tend to not be diagnosed until later in life....but now i know I make sense c:
Michelle sensory overload if present is definitely Austism spectrum because its brain wiring,
INFJ is personality, not unlike stemming from Narcissism by way of nurturing from childhood.
@@michellematsuoka1738 me too,when i heard together the words empath sensitive ,aform of autism, and then read the"wide spectrum" But then researched n i m not
I’ve been thinking we were at least borderline for years now.
@@ironmanproductions7944 Oh my gosh, I've had this thought too!! Am I an Autistic, Borderline, INFJ, Empath alien? WTF is wrong with me?
The isolation that the pandemic has provided has been a haven, I can be alone in glory without the guilt of avoidance, and still be able to be supportive to others by texting, sending cards, just don't ask me to Zoom with you.
As long as you don't have to see your parents and your 2 siblings almost every day 😅
I am totally enjoying my quarantine.
That's me too 😁
Loving lockdown but missing hugs from family and friends.
Most underrated comment
Infj's be like....."I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND, WHY CANT YOU UNDERSTAND!?" While in the process of explaining how you feel, you too find yourself understanding why they don't understand..... UNDERSTAND!?
Oh yes!!!! Every single time
Totally😅
You read my mind. It's mind blowing 🤯
I feel satisfied knowing someone was able to voice that perfectly without myself having to explain it in lamen's terms for people lacking in understanding. Thank you.
@@thanewright8432 the struggle is real....
I'm 71 infj. What you are doing is very WORTHWHILE. It takes a lifetime to figure out what is happening in one's existence; to make sense of one's being.
Never loose faith in your value. Thank you.
I agree
My dad came to this country penniless. Worked at a factory 6 1/2 days a week. 16 hours a day. Raised three kids. Put me through grad school. He was an INFJ. Guess what. He didn’t have time or the energy to care he was. Anyone who has the time and luxury to dwell on their personality is guess what…a luxury.
As an infj I have so many narcissistic people around me sucking the life from me, I am working on how to get rid of them for good.
I found in the past two years to be sensitive to your own boundries. If someone is stepping on your toes about your time and guilt tripping you; make space.
There's one narcissistic friend who is on the mild end of the spectrum and I like her company (for1 or 2 hours max) and she benefits because I taught her to meditate and I've encouraged her to look inside and face her loneliness that's eating everything away. People need you. You can help people and understand them in a safe way.
That sounds good, the last part. This life is for freedom :)
Yeah I agree boundaries are the key. You have to build the confidence to know when somebody is crossing the line.
Jac G yeh... me too!!! I’ve learned you have to remember you have an obligation to set your own boundaries. You owe it to yourself. We have to remember to take care of ourselves too!
Door slam them pricks
Does anybody else read the comments and laugh at all of them because they are soooo spot on and relatable? This is heaven. Lol😁
I wish we could meet each other in real life...
Yes yes yes!😅
It really is 😆♥️
I was just thinking this right before I read this comment 😂
Yepppp
Authenticity is SO RARE today.
haha! 'cause we are rare.
Gadda love the finer things with life like a warm bath or eating a slice of cheese while watching a good channel
Agree, most people this days are "fitting in" on what is trending.
Yeah me and my infp friend like to refer to those people as “sheep” 🐑
I’m an INFJ who married an INFJ. We’ve been together for over 7 years now and have travelled the world, built multiple businesses together, and have cultivated a life abundant in love, joy, and laughter. Life itself is challenging, but when you find the right person, every obstacle becomes an opportunity to grow and know yourself on a deeper level.
If you’re out there looking for that special person, remember first and foremost that the person you’re looking for is yourself. If you can’t love yourself unconditionally on every level, you will be unable to love someone else unconditionally and see the beauty in their imperfections.
The irony of you questioning making the video is that INFJs innately want to “master” concepts before sharing
This! We have to stand behind something before we fully support/talk about it. That can make me feel like I’m not moving fast enough 🥺
OMG yes... you learn to APPEAR extroverted.
TR Life YES!! I’m great at appearing outgoing and extroverted, but I’m really not. OMG I’m exhausted after being around people, and I’m reflecting confidence rather than having any authentic feelings of confidence!
Yeah, i do that also
YUP yup
agree
YES!
I also prefer authenticity even over loyalty. I want to know who’s around me. They can disagree, but don’t be inauthentic! It’s a dealbreaker.
This.
Yes! But then I think about how I adapt to each different person I interact with and I feel like a LIAR! 😰
Yes! Even if people are upset with me, I want to know and know why! I hate it when I can sense that someone doesn't like me or is mad at me, but they pretend nothing is wrong!
Seriously. Lol
I thought I was all alone in being the way that I am. I literally started crying when you started talking about friendships and how INFJ views friendships, because I was so happy/relieved that I'm not alone in this way of thinking/evaluating friendships. Always hearing from other people how weird you are, or people telling you that you're wrong for being the way you are (even from your own parents), but now finally having an explanation for why and seeing that you're not alone & it's not wrong (it's literally just the way that you are) is literally life changing. I don't even have the words... Thank you
I'm 69 years old. All my life, I felt that NOBODY ELSE is like me, The ENTIRE population of Earth is round holes but I'm a square peg, the stork dropped me off on the wrong planet, I have no place here. Several months ago, I stumbled onto this MBTI stuff. My jaw hit the floor when I found out that there are more of me. It feels validating, like I'm not alone in this world, that I'm not crazy - there are reasons that I am the way I am.
Cheer up remember you are not alone one day you'll find an infj aswell and I don't know be friends share life experiences but not all trust issues is a thing
Yes even from your own family as an INFJ I can totally identify
@johnstorton 69 is an awesome number for some reason. You’re awesome!
I feel that I relate to some of it but not all of it. I’m not sure what the heck I am? Lol
It's somewhat amusing how I can watch his eyes dart about the room, and understand there's a thinking process going on in there. I swear, INFJ's have a universal way of talking and wording their sentences, sometimes sounding like we're going in circles but 'no no, we're getting to the conclusion, just wait!'
We can't fully describe our way of thought process through technical means, we have to give examples, hoping they make sense even if the examples are more like our feelings and/or experiences. Talking to an INFJ is like painting a picture where some see colours and shapes when we talk as though there is this journey we take and it's deep and a little confusing yet it makes sense to us. Videos like these help me understand myself - studying how I might sound from a listener's point of view. I know I'm not crazy because there are so many hidden INFJ treasures out there that think and feel exactly the same. And it's this subtle, silent intimacy we all share.
I made my first live video recently on Facebook, and I know exactly what you're talking about. I noticed instantly how this guy talks and thinks, and how it felt and looked so similar to my own mannerisms. Spot on!
Now you two make me feel like I should make a video and watch myself.
I often feel like I can't articulate well in any languages I speak.
I had thought for a long time that it was because of my language efficiency.
But I think it is just how INFJs think and express.
I feel like words can't express what is inside.
Well said Jess! I do exactly the same thing. It's sad when people lose interest before you get to the point, lol.
It would make sense If we're all using the same cognitive stack
I felt like I was watching and hearing myself in the way he talks, mannerisms, descriptions, trying to be technical and end up over-analyzing to the point where you become self-conscious, have so many thoughts going through your head but can't seem to get them out quick enough and in the thorough way that you want to. I drive myself crazy writing, talking, etc....
We are purists. We have no hidden agenda.
I cant read myself
HAHAHAHA HELL YEA
I know an infj that seduces me mirroring me. He is excellent at saying what I want to hear. He doesn't know about personalities and I'm an infp. He looks so confident on the outside but he doubts himself in front of confident people.
I have no hidden agenda and I'm not infj
I think that's why people don't get us and think we are either stupid or very sneaky (able to hide our agenda which they think must be like theirs, ie. fucked up).
OMG, yes!! The INFJ door slam! I’ve been told so many times that I’m heartless because I shut people out when I’ve reached my limit with their behavior. I have no problem cutting people out of my life when they stop earning my trust, or failed to earn it. I feel like it’s that contradiction in some people that keeps me from trusting and forming relationships with people I thought I had made a connection with. So frustrating!
@Nina Sincheta lmaoo
I seriously just experienced this and I have another time in my life!! This video and these comments are blowing my mind!!
Ditto, Rabecca
Yup!
Yes ...for me I give everyone the benefit but 1 time is all it takes for me to vanish lol
“This is wrong. This is dirty.” I so get that feeling of inauthenticity. It feels like pain right in my stomach. Or a headache. I feel it physically. Great video. Thanks. As we all sit in our own spaces self analyzing and feeling less alone for now.
I can't work with others if they constantly talk.
Alex Morefield the worst
🤣🤣🤣
I work with a girl that talks constantly and to make things worse, she’s never actually saying anything. If I try to talk, she cuts me off to say what she needs to say. She does it to everyone and she never actually listens to what anyone has to say. It’s awful.
Yeah when people do that now i just say are you gunna keep fucking talking or are you going to let me speak?
True that!
Nobody:
Infj: “I feel like”
But this is soo generic... I JUST DON'T GET IT
Do you mean no one is an INFJ? It would logical to think, and feel so, since people's exposure to INFJ's are so limited, and when they meet one the person is either in an Extroverted state overall, at the time. When we go Introvert we disappear comppletly, but we always come back out looking like a full Extrovert. What I am trying to say is you don't see many, or see them often when you do. Best way to notice one, since we mirror others, is the "disappearing act"; which is usually pretty noticeable. At least in my teens, where you are trying to figure yourself out and balance out, it was very noticeable. Enough for every group I hung out in to call me " Houdini", or say something like "You pulled a Bruce, huh, Houdini". Bruce is my name by the way. Many groups, and most didn't know people from my other groups, so it wasn't linked, but reoccured all through every group my whole teens to young 20's. Lots go into Religious, Psychology, Medical, and Acting jobs. Jobs where you have brief exposure to them from time to time.
We kind of sound dumb for being so deeply logical and intuitive. Ha ha. I find it's one thing that makes people less scared of me. I always want others to reach their own conclusions also. But we sound dumb. SMH.
How I start half my sentences😂
Hahaha i just left a comment which began with those 3 words
"We want to make people feel good because that makes us feel good because we are absorbing their emotions." Holy hell, no wonder it's easier to be a loner. My feeling good depends on everyone else feeling good. I'll take nature any day.
Omggg that makes sooo much sense, I work tirelessly to maintain everyone’s emotional stability so I’m not in distress. I see it now.
Exactly.
I usually can't sit and watch people explain INFJ personality types but I am easily able to listen to your video. I can immediately tell a fellow INFJ and it's like a breath of fresh air right now hearing someone explain all the things I'm going through right now. I truly wish there were INFJ support groups, especially for when we're in the grips of our shadow functions. Thank you for the content. 🙌
Let's start a support group ;)
It is a breathe of fresh air, I know what you mean.
I can also spot one
I can literally see in his face, his body language and demeanor that he’s INFJ. I’m finally seeing how I come off to people
Pretty strange isn't it? It's like we're cut from the same cloth, but have different souls. Putting all of us into the same room would break the space time continuum me thinks
I was going to make the same comment! That’s another really good point that it’s so hard for an INFJ to not only not understand how they feel themselves, but we don’t know how we look or come off to other people either.
@@heatherdellosa9220 yes! So true like I don't care how I come off to other people but I'm always thinking about it because I don't really trust if the person genuinely likes me either
Anybody else have that wrinkled always thinking and analyzing line between their eyebrows like he has. Apparently it’s an infj thing
I was thinking the same thing... I exhibit the same behavior! Someone told me that people see me as an encyclopedia... thanks?!?!
"It has to make sense," THIS!!!! Exactly!
If it doesn't make sense to me, I'm not doing it. That's gotten me in trouble with parents & even some jobs, I have no patience for "because I said so/that's the way it is" make it make sense if you want ME to do it.
Spoken like a true stubborn infj 😋
@Roxanne Daniel I HEAR YA’!!! ...and I’m also Aries...
Well, I may not fit after all. I don’t like to make waves, especially if you are my ‘leader’.
(If this makes no sense) we cant accept it why because it makes no sense.
The commen sense of others does not apply well with INFJ because it doesn't make sense.
As INFJ i have lot of friends, still non I consider my friend 😂
Mee too
I don’t call them friends... I have a lot of acquaintances....
@@urbanmidwayelitevendors6440 exactly. For me, a friend is some one who I will know forever and can trust. Not the types to hang out with meaningless. I don't even want and give my number to certain people I know. I could hang out with them and everything, but nah, I don't want your number. Or let me put it like this: I don't want YOU to have MY number... or e-mail, or whatever.
I don’t have friends, I just know people. 😂
I wish I could find a friend like I have been to certain people only to be let down by them in some way. It's always been I give way more then I received, and I'm not referring to gifts. It's hard not to want to think that if you're putting in 50 that they could at least do their 50 it always ends up 90 me 10 them. Then resentment sits in and, I start to distance myself, till eventually it's nonexistent. The only way to really deal with it is not to except even 1% from anyone then I don't get so hurt and disappointed. Which is why I'm fine just doing my own thing.
This entire 47 minutes 43 seconds duration was the first time I felt understood. From the thought processes and for all the characteristics you somehow put into words are too relatable. Thank you for this! As an INFJ, I'm really happy to know other INFJs truly exists and I'm even happier to know I'm not alone
"We don't really like culture"
😂😂 That hit me so hard. It's true. As awful as that sounds, it's true. I have an inner hippie wanting to run away from society and build a lifestyle block, but no that's wrong. I'm part of society and am part of improving it.
I always ask do people go to school, university, get an awesome job, settle down and start a nuclear family because they are simply told to? What do we really want? 40 hour work weeks? Or just flourish, cook good food, have dinner with good friends and create something beautiful? 🍇🍍👩🌾
Gummibear173 - exactly ! :-D
ha yeah, I think a lot of what people do is because they're told that's what they're supposed to do. Me included, and it's taken me a long time to have the confidence to admit I might not want to do a lot of that stuff actually.
That’s is so relatable. I’ve been wanting to runaway and start my own society of quirky, whimsical and unusual individuals who value their uniqueness and freedom but that’s just close to impossible to do😭
I recently found out I was an INFJ.. i wish I could of leaned about it sooner but hey, got the rest of my life to make the the most of it!
Jean Beatrice Andres me Too! U can put me on that list! 🥰
"People hate it, when you point out their logic."
Every. single. damn. time.
This is where and probably why Im always misunderstood. I mean, I just wanna know the answer why your logic don't get in line with your defenses. Don't fight me.
I can relate
same
For me, it’s especially bad with grammar mistakes
I am Me same! I don’t know why but I would always say stuff like ‘more happier’ when it should just be ‘happier’. Or ‘I ate food’ when it should have been in have eaten food’. My friends got really mad at me for some reason and they really did dig at me for getting these things wrong. They said they wud stop until I get it right but damn, they were acting like I was wrongly diffusing some nuke
Kat K I’m the one correcting everyone, and they all get mad at me
"It FEELS like, I do a lot of thinking"
I used to think that my ordinary everyday ruminations, IE, thinking things over and interspersing them with oblique or random ideas were mere attempts at profitless woolgathering, but now I'm not so sure!
When you said "authenticity" is one of your core values, that absolutely resonated with me. I did a CBT session with my therapist a couple of years ago where we conducted a card sorting exercise, ranking different values from 'most important to me' to 'least important to me', and "authenticity" came out on top (out of around 30 values). I find it somewhat ironic though, because actually displaying authenticity is something I've struggled with immensely. I suppose this feeds into the whole INFJ 'people-pleasing' mode.
Spot on! My jaw dropped when you mentioned getting into relationships with a narcissistic personality. I wish I had known I was a INFJ sooner to avoid that chapter in my life.
I'm there right now. Just starting to sort through all of it. Any advice?
@@jenmurphy7777 Cut off all communication and ghost them. Don't answer their calls. Don't refer to them on social media. Nothing. Like they never existed. It's hard, I had to do it when I was in a very unhealthy 10+ year relationship, but I did it and you will be able to breathe again and find happiness, even if its alone. Just don't look back.
Angelle Glover : bingo!!!
Same here... Is there anything called MBTI personality sacred animal , then it has to be a Phoenix!
@@jenmurphy7777 the advice to ghost them is spot on. I was raised by a narcissist and my childhood was a nightmare. There two years since I went no contact with my parents have been the best two years of my life.
Your speech patterns, your body language and the way you pause to think, and kind of look at the space as you try to form sentences, and obviously the things you're saying... it really feels like I'm looking at the male equivalent of myself, a sort of a mirror. It's weird, but I kinda appreciate it.
I do this all of the time! I just thought I was weird, which I'm fine with!
Same here, I love this video!
Me too! I feel like he and I would be a perfect couple but wonder is a intj my perfect match??
I literally just thought that, scrolled down and saw your comment. It's really uncanny, especially AS a male INFJ. I've watched a lot of INFJ videos over the years, but Clay is almost the only male TH-camr that I believe is a real INFJ.
Yes. I can see my own speech
How he talked was the way I always talk in my mind.
Yup
Same 😂
Same
Same
same
I genuinely can't imagine how much guts and heart it takes to put an INFJ into a vulnerable position... You did it.
"You probably really are an INFJ if you've made it this far..." And I want more! XD
I am an introvert in a sense that I like being alone. I like doing things alone. People have to drag me out of my house so I can go out. But when I'm out, I like to hang out with friends (3 people max) . more than that I start to get quiet again and feel drained. lol. I am very emotional and sensitive BUT I try to rationalize my feelings and I can control my emotions well. I'd rather shut you out completely than have a row with you. I'm not loud or aggressive but I am very assertive of my opinion. Growing up, I was the oddball. People still see me as weird. Not my actions, but the way I think.
Same. U have to really convince me to come out the house a lot of the time and I misunderstand what other people mean a lot. They look at me like wtf why would you think that and I tell them and they're like oh.. I guess I never thought of that
Wow exactly how I feel
Wow. Feel like you wrote that about me
People see me as weird too lol. Because I’m an introvert too but I’m an ISFP and have a crazily chatty online persona. And my art is literally art and books.
I just can’t stop writing fictional books.
@@prettypristinepoetry8984 that's nice. you should publish your stories. :) introverts unite. hehehre. good thing we're introverts during this stay at home policy.
I'm 64 years old. I only became aware of the MB Test and INFJ about 2 years ago. FINALLY hearing stories like this pulled that plug of pressure of thinking I was a loser and a freak. Now that I can listen to stories like this gives me the place that I KNOW I belong, I've found my herd. IT FINALLY MAKES SENSE! I also understand why I was attracted to a ultimate NARCISSIST and worked endlessly trying to make myself worthy. About 10 years ago I stopped playing into his game and I started to work on my own business, I became HUGELY successful and no longer gave into his whims. We had been together for 22 years. So then he DUMPED me. A few years later - I found out he only did it as an attempt to manipulate me to get me back in line - NEVER imagining that I would stay gone. But after about a year on my own - I discovered this INCREDIBLE person hidden inside myself that just exploded in every wonderful direction imaginable. I was - and still am - heartbroken that it didn't work out, but I'd never go back. All the same - ALL of these traits are still alive inside me that make me want to serve others. And I don't fight it too much, but I try to keep it on the healthy side for my own survival. But it's GREAT to be able to listen to you, Clay, and know that I'm not a sick, twisted mess - I'm just wired differently. And FINALLY understanding what it's all about - I LOVE BEING THE PERSON THAT i AM ! ! !
This made me tear up probably because I could feel how it must have felt to unplug your true identity after so many years. Wow! Good for you!
@@theserenecorner Thank you so very much for your kindness and understanding! It's hearing from people like yourself that inspires me to keep moving forward. All the very best you and thanks again for taking they time to read my thoughts and to take the time to reach out. People like you inspire me that I'm on the right path. THANK YOU ! ! !
Very beautiful thank for your perspective and experience
I find myself using humor as a defense mechanism socially, like the nurse said I was the only person that was joking while experiencing a heart attack they had ever seen. So stress me and I become Robin Williams humor wise, I don’t do impressions.
Hahaha. I did that too when I got hit by a truck lol.
Everyone thinks, that I'm strong, but i feel so weak, so small, so nothing, when it's about myself. If it's about the others, i can explode to protect them from harmless.
It's like to be the biggest and the smallest at the same time.
To be INFJ.
the same the macro and the micro recognized and contained in the middle/median man. Lol mmmkay?
omg same
Omg that’s how i feel, glad there are same people ❤️
I always feel "the same"
That is extremely true!
I've never felt so understood in my life holy shit
Geek!
Agreed. He's literally talking about my life almost ver batum.
I completely mirror your thoughts
I know! Same! I'm a bit in shock.
Shit is not holy. Only God is. If you're a real INFJ you'll appreciate that bit of wisdom.
These are the most transparent and enlightening reflections about the INFJ type that I've seen up to now. Thank you.
🙏💖
Soooo good/extremely helpful ✨
Thank you so much
Me to
Bro I had an epiphany while watching this video. You reminded me of what's important and how to value my talents. I'm going to do what I love and the money will come. I was always so hard on myself that I forgot what I was good at 😭😭😭
Just found out I was INFJ in my 40s and now it all makes sense. I thought I was the only weird guy; one of a kind. But after hearing other INFJs talk about themselves I feel so relieved there are others like me.
glad to hear that! Maybe it's just about accepting the weirdness :)
@@ClayArnall Indeed. However, as much as I embrace the person that I am, I think being an INFJ always makes me want to be someone else; yet not. If you can understand that.
I just turned 40 and looked into all this Brigs personality a while back but it's just a small part of a complex equation for me. I embraced the underground 90s freaks while in highschool to feel more normal and it helped, then researched dyslexia around early 2000's because I am, then researched being raised by a narcissist ( dad a complete narcissist ) in 2010 after interactions w my family after my grandma passed because WOW WAKE UP CALL ( my family is all Dick's ) and finally somewhere in 2015 I ran into the 16 personality types.
I still feel more akin to the freaks and upfront, don't hold back weirdos in the world. It's a breath of fresh air around this kind of people because I'm getting to learn who I am without having to do the blend in to keep the piece thing. I can let go of the facade of nicesty's and explore the " self perceived shadow" in order to find my own balance.
Thank you for your comment ☺️
Sorry for the life story spew.
Dan, it's a great feeling when you find the reason behind the weirdness. It is indeed a great relief. 😊
@@lynnmarie647 Indeed it is Marie. We found some comfort in knowing that there are others like us out there, but we're still weird haha. Now it is time to make the best of this uniqueness.
Shit. This is all eerie asf. It’s like he is me. On the bright side, everything makes sense now. I make sense. THANKYOU.
You're not alone x) there are a few of us
broadbandtogod 💓
This. so much. I grew up thinking something was wrong with me because I was different, thought differently, processed things differently. Wasn't until college that I discovered the personality types and my entire childhood made sense.
Ghina Sheikh that’s exactly what I thought when I saw his video! Here I go down the rabbithole of INFJ research lol it’s so empowering! Love it 🥰
It was not until my relationship with a narcissist that I realised I was an INFJ. My ability to "read people like a book" proves to be my protective shield by acknowledging my own self worth. Thank you for this insight!
Hell hath no fury like an interrupted INFJ.
I'm INFJ, Andi don't mind being interrupted. Now betrayed...
YES
🤣
True in so many ways😂 whether I’m talking,
arguing, working, studying, watching TH-cam, etc. I hate being interrupted.
J EV funny, my TH-cam name is, Girl, interrupted . Sometimes I need to be interrupted, however. I can get too immersed and have to be pulled away...
I just want to say I love you all INFJs and I wish you a great happiness and successful life ! 😂☺️💗
Also, here is a game you can try my fellow INFJs if you're okay with it! It's game of analyzing! The title may seem a little complicated but it's simpler than you think, It's just a practice to understand you're level of analyzing as we INFJs can analyze but don't forget that we still have different thoughs ,habits and opinions as well as experiences! So your analyze shouldn't necessarily follow the other INFJs', It's just to try and control our ability to scan and analyze! So, how to do so? Simple, you only have to go for example to a bakery or a store or any place you like where you get to choose something out of other things, and try to choose what you think is better while explaining why you didn't choose the other ones, and it'll be fun!
Btw, sorry for my bad grammar 😂🤭💗
I don't know why people say INFJ is confusing. This makes perfect sense to me. "Says the INFJ" lol
You got me when you said "I guess my parents did the best they could do" and you didn't give any examples. I just felt you, right there. That's one thing that we really struggle with. Thanks for your video.
ha ha, the amount of times i remember my parents just looking at me with that puzzled look on their faces.. like is she for real?? who is this person?? but they definitely tried and went with it, which set me up for disappointment in the real world, lol. only sort of joking. :P
yea we only only let you know what we want you to know haha....ha
Most defffff
Yes. So much this. I went to therapy recently for help with anxious-preoccupied attachment issues, which typically are formed in early childhood by parental care being inconsistent or odd. After a few sessions, my therapist basically threw his hands up and was like "you were raised fine. I don't think the issues you have with relationships are related to your upbringing." Then I took the MBTI test and got INFJ-T, read and watched a bunch of stuff, and now I'm like...
....I get it. My parents have always said I was odd for a kid and they frequently thought of me as an "old man" in a child's body when I was young. I've always been ahead in school, ahead in so many things, but crappy at relationships and relating to people in general. I'm lucky to have some good friends but in general, I have a very difficult time associating with people unless it's just surface level stuff that I can fake my way through.
@@xnflg3074 wooooow me too. I also have anxious-preoccupied attachment and I’ve been wondering was it because my mum literally hugged me all the time, I know I was raised perfectly 🤣🤣 but I never connected my “shyness” as a kid could have been from being INFJ, like I loved playing with kids but I usually didn’t form deep bonds and was always worried about what others thought of me and tried to be nice to everyone, all the while eager to go home to go play by myself
You know you are INFJ. Because you research INFJ and figure it out in so many sources. And we are so reflective.
Thanks for the authenticity you deliver.
It is validating my experience this far!
thanks for watching :)
Agreed. Nice to meet you. 🙂
“I need deep connections.” Heck yes, thank you for saying it. I wish there were more people who wanted to connect as deeply as I do…
Yes. Definitely deep connections are a must for me. If not, it's a waste of time and energy. Went to my religious meeting this week and the speaker started out with the definition of "shallow: materialistic, relations with fellow humans and his appreciation for spiritual values will suffer, too lazy to think deeply and gain attention by intelligent speaking." Then the question was asked, "Are You Shallow?" Unfortunately a lot of people are shallow. Hence Their issue with INFJs and their ignorance of differences in people.
"When someone is telling me what to do, I can shut off pretty quick"
CHORES (even when I'm in a good mood)
Hahahaha 😂
As a fellow INFJ your dialogue was like listening to myself speaking :)
thanks for checking it out :)
Agree!
That's how u know you are one of them. We all need to talk. 🙂
Same here.
Im an INFJ-T Empath. I'm lucky i truly found the love of my life. It's hard to find when you are like this.
Infj a advocate 😁
I am an INFJ Empath. I wonder if a lot of Empaths are INFJ?
Choosing the wrong person that thyself can't connect with is common.
God 🙏 Bless you pray we all are fortunate 👑
@@_aNew42 Great question. I am!
INFJ-T here, I haven't even watched the whole video yet but what you said of how school gives you problems and you don't have enough time to soak it in is SO TRUE! Like for real, whenever I used to get an essay question I'd really have to think about it but once I start writing down the answer I feel unstoppable and get really good marks. It was always the timing that stressed me out tho :/
When you said about having low self esteem so your unable to trust yourself 🎯. All I have to say is thank you.
I totally agree on the friendships stuff, needing honesty, deep emotional and intellectual secure connections, and authenticity (and loyalty and trustworthiness is important too). Also I think INFJs make friends because we want those connections and to be a good friend without any other agendas and that's not always well understood by others heh.
@toorf mmmhmmm!! Exactly lol sames
"You're trying, you're trying, you're trying...and all of a sudden-----I'm outa here!!" OMG. I can relate!☆☆☆☆💋
Being 78, with much experience, outer there before anything is said. Always come awake 'instantly'. Eyes open, fully aware.
@@lawrencewillard6370 that is so true. I am 63. I see them coning lol.
I felt so seen and heard in this video. For so long I wondered if there was something wrong with me or if im just "weak", but finally learning im and INFJ and learning what that means, it gave me a beautiful sense of being understood. Thank you
You’re so lucky to have found INFJs and INTJs in your life as friends.
yeah I have two INFJ friends and it's been interesting :)
We all just blind
Clay Arnall I’m an INFJ and I would love to have an INFJ friend whom I can vibe with. Guess they’re all in hiding like me lol.
@@Lotusblume.8 You're not alone!! I totally feel you on this. If you ever want to chat, fellow INFJ here up for actual connection with my people 🤗
@@bowkenpachi7759 or you could go to be the light channel
47:32 "You probably are an INFJ if you made it this far."
Me: Uh-huh.
Reading the comments, I think I'm the only one who isn't (aside from another INTJ)
Right??? I'm just dumbfounded. Just found out today that I'm an INFJ. I could never understand what was wrong with me. Here, there isn't anything wrong with me. We are just a very select few group of people that are just good. Really good people.
I chuckled and nodded when he said it.
There, I was offended as an ENFP ;)
Ara Celli ❤️💜💙
It is so surreal to watch this video and feel like I'm looking in a mirror.
Lmao right dude
Wow! As an INFP, I could relate with so many aspects of your feelings, personality and the situations you've been through.
Some of the things you were talking I felt like I was talking with myself, because I lived almost the exact same things. Mainly the authenticity part and to be forced to make a choice between being authentic or loyal.
Great video!
Oh my gosh, yes! I now know that I am an INFJ. I was labeled as "shy" right through high school. I always felt different from everyone all the time as I grew up and I thought there was something wrong with me. I ended up with depression. I was so confused about everyone around me being so happy in this noisy world. They didn't get tired as quickly as I did around large groups of people or certain people. Knowing myself better now has helped me become soooo happy! I know what I need to do to be emotionally healthy at all times. I don't have to force myself to "fit in" as I was taught to do by my family and school experiences while I was growing up.
Was the depression over after or did it persisted ?
You don’t know what your MBTI is until you complete a legitimate Myers Briggs personality test.
I've taken the test twice in my life, years apart, and I got INFJ both times. Slowly learning about myself. Hearing that male INFJs are even more rare makes it feel daunting.
dont concentrate on the rare . this kicks me each time on the island , on my own . I deliberate choose to shift my mind to what I can do with it. be encouraged .
Ok, snowflake. Rare it is.
the unique combination is rare, but that doesn't mean there still aren't lots of people to relate to on various levels :)
I'm also INFJ Male. 38 yrs old found out I was INFJ couple years ago. We're interesting to say the least. Always trust yourself. I hate liars and tell the truth bluntly. Burnt bridges don't get rebuild in my town. Love loyalty. Get your space have your time. It's hard to explain. If you ever have question reach out. If not peace,love and happiness
same here took one test in 2015 and another one early 2019 and I got the same results an INFJ
I’m an INFJ and you just explained my teenage angst to a T!!! I get myself into trouble a lot even as an adult because of my unwillingness to go with the crowd. I’ve ALWAYS been that way. challenging management etc... oh and all the ridiculous rules. That’s why I’ve always loved the song, “Signs” The picking up of other feelings is real and exhausting. Crowds are overwhelming. I’m fully tripping out right now because I feel like I’m listening to my self! This is amazing and so comforting. Thank you so very much.
I concur to your entire statement.. I am cringing that I am going to get fired for all the lazy management around me. I absolutely hate crowds of any sort. Gosh.. are you me? lol
☮️ yeah
I wish I had u as my elder brother so we could talk for hours and never feel misunderstood. ❤ Thank u for sharing these. I am an INFJ, and I feel every word.
1. You are so beautiful
2. I could listen to you all day
3. I am impressed by how eloquently and thoroughly you articulate your thoughts
I really enjoyed this to Abigael. Are you an infj as well?
Yupp!
You have a great video and it held my attention throughout! Spot on!!
I love hearing the perspectives and life experiences of other INFJ’s. So fascinating.
I have never felt more understood in my life!
I laughed at that last statement you made: "If you've made it this far then you're probably an INFJ." Lol
I really enjoyed the truths you shared about INFJs, especially authenticity over loyalty. Great insight! Thanks for sharing.
I always wondered why I couldn't engage people in small talks, but bring up questions about the mysteries of this life (philosophy), human behavior (psychology), God, science, world affairs, nature, etc... and I will surely poke my head out of my thoughts (with a smile) like "helloo, did you call my name? You deserve my time, let's talk." Lol
I’ve always felt different. Even when I find a group of people I click well with and that love me, I still don’t feel like I fit in with them. And I always like to know the why of everything. When I was a kid and I got in trouble I always felt like I needed to explain why what I was doing was logical to me. Lol this was a fabulous find.
ha ha.. can relate. i always felt like i needed to explain to my dad why what he was doing was wrong lol. like yelling no get results dumb dumb. lol. reverse lectures. raising my parents. it was so divorced of emotion though. it took time to realize i can just say this affects me or i need this.. that didn't feel like an option growing up, it would have been 'selfish' but now i realize i need those type of more personal,vulnerable expression of boundaries to function.
I don’t know about the rest of y’all, but I just like being rare and mysterious....
Yes
Yes! It's great in many ways.
I agree, I just can’t to it.
Yes but it can have its disadvantages
I’m an INFJ in my 20s, and considering what I went through all throughout my education years, I wish this video existed years ago. I’ve tried pleasing other people until it only made me seem like I’m just trying too hard. One difficult time was when I trusted someone with my thoughts, only to find out that that person was talking behind my back. I completely shut down. Door slams do exist, especially when you decided to open the door.
Amen to that! Choose your friends wisely. You might have 5,000 friends on FB, but how of those are your ACTUAL FRIENDS OUTSIDE OF SOCIAL MEDIA? There are too many fakes, liars, backstabbers, two-faced people or just brown nosing ones! Who needs them anyway? I am introverted and an INFJ myself. So less is more. Better to have a few great friends than 5,000 fake ones! No time for that!
@@tonyabailey183 I deleted my Facebook in 2016. Since then, I've heard from 5 people from my "friends list". The last one dropped off last month. It's lonely, but it's f-ing peaceful. 🤷♀️
I'm 65 and I'm an INFJ. How I wish I could have been informed at 14 years old!!!! It would have saved me from heartache and sorrow...
Lol. When said, “what process in my mind is answering questions even when I’m not thinking about anything...?” I laughed out loud in my kitchen, like same dude. It is curious to really consider this question. I honestly take this aspect of my cognition for granted, but you’re so right.
It’s your subconscious mind :)
I am an INFJ and wow this video is freaking me out 😂 I feel everything he's talking about. The part of not trusting yourself because at some point you realize you don't go along with the crowd. I feel weak but I come of as confident and intimidating. I am going to binge watch his videos.
I need to thank you for making this video. In true INFJ fashion, I got all teary-eyed while watching this because it is the first time in my 35 years on this earth that I have felt truly understood. It almost felt surreal listening to these insights. I've spent so much of my life wondering why I always felt like I understood everyone else, but no one fully understood me, and now I have my answer. I mean, I have family that has known me all my life that couldn’t have described me in half the detail you provided! This feeling was so alienating, and at many points when I was younger it was downright depressing. For example, here is this person who birthed you and on so many levels, you feel as if they don’t really know you. How depressing is that? And you never really understand why no one fully gets you because you are being 100% authentic. This is who you really are and you couldn’t and wouldn’t want to be fake, so why don’t these people know you? I spent a great deal of time coming to terms with this and convincing myself that it was just the way I would have to go through life. No one would ever fully understand me, so I needed to become comfortable in that reality. And here I am learning I’M NOT ALONE!!! Ahhhh!!! I could just scream, I’m so happy! Hahaha!
And thank you for giving me the new term of “the INFJ door slam”. I’ve had many moments in my life where I’ve done the INFJ door slam and had people tell me it just seemed so sudden. But what they don’t comprehend is that I know myself well enough to trust that when I am done, I am done for all the right reasons. At that point, I have done so much reflection on why I feel the way I do that I trust the conclusion that I came to (because it took me a while to get there). It wasn’t sudden at all, even though to an outsider, that is the way it is perceived. Anyways, I could keep rambling (of course) but I won’t subject you to that. I just wanted to say thank you, thank you, thank you. This video was so incredibly appreciated. It made my year, and with the year we are having, I really needed this. Ha!
I just about fell over when you said the most important thing to you is authenticity! INFJ here. That's so me! This personality test is so eerily accurate.
When you said authenticity is one of the most important values for you it blew my mind. For me it is the same thing. I mentioned that so often and it is quite amazing to find out it is common for INFJs
I am an INFJ, I only realized it a few years ago. Just thought, "Huh, that explains it"! Lol.
"I laughed out loud when you said at the end of the video " You probably are an INFJ if you've made it this far". My favorite friend in this world for interesting conversations is an INTJ. Wish I could meet some other INFJ's. I often give so much in relationships and end up feeling a bit used and disappointed in others. Like you say, people know we want to help. I'm doing this less as I mature and becoming more discerning with who I extend that help and energy to. People with narcissistic traits are drawn to me, I had to read up about narcissism in order to understand and protect my boundaries.Yes! authenticity and honesty most important to me in any relationship. This video was pretty spot on thanks!!!!
Hey I don't know I was also born with a gift since I'm little so I've been told by psychics I don't know since I was 19 it was invited to a psychic institute He went over the divider and told me he is my card He says I know your psychic is too little I want to take you have this enormous amount of energy and you got a halo over you and I was up north and I came back down south Jersey but I'm originally from Manhattan and I never went because I already knew I had a gift and it's so freaky but my family looks at me like I'm crazy I had these blown glasses one was in turquoise and one was clear and I had this I get this enormous amount of energy and I have dreams to come true and I get these feelings and then I have visions since I'm little and one with turquoise one was clear I turned the clear one into red and I turned the turquoise into green and I shrunk it and since then it's like how I'm 63 years old I've been living at this long The only thing is is I also feel death and it comes so that's the car so I don't know what I am anymore I just know I got a gift and super sensitive to and I've been to it having intuition that I get feelings highly sensitive in this energy and then I see things from the feeling and the girls guys just I don't know then I'm off tomorrows too sometimes I just do so many things at once and think I become super focused I do so many things at once and all of a sudden my girlfriend says how do you do that and you be able to do research and go back to the same thing and multitask and there's other things I can't do at all so I don't know guys you tell me
same here took me until my late 20's to figure it out
Yes, a thousand times, yes.
WOW. This video, this thread.... I wish I’d have understood myself and my idiosyncrasies ahead of marrying two types of narcissists. This seems to be the attraction to our types.
INTP here. I have basically read everything on quora about INFJ’s but still don’t seem to have the full picture. Having felt misunderstood for most of my life it is comforting to know that there other types that are on the same boat. I met the most amazing person who is completely selfless and has taught me so much, always willing to help others even when it isn’t appreciated. I found out she is an INFJ and have been learning everything about this type since. I really liked the video, there are lots of people who want to try to understand you, even if they never understand all of your layers. Please never stop being who you are, the world is in desperate need for you INFJ’s. You cast a light on this world that makes people better. Please take care of yourselves too and surround yourself with good people who help keep you up. Thanks for reading.
TheRealYeti - Wow. Oh, here we go...that brought tears to my eyes. Seriously. I needed to hear that. Thank you for your kind, encouraging affirming words.
I LOVE UUUU
🥺💛
Reading someone trying to understand INFJs like me is the most touching thing ever. Thank you so much.
Um, wow!
"Completing DESTROY that argument".... Absolute LOVE IT....:) ....and " let me put my work to the SIDE and help you"....bbbbbooooiiiee....thx again ..... See You at Your DESTINY....... -Universe "Coach"
One of the things that irks me when it comes to regular types is the lack of depth be it of emotion or interests outside the usual topics. Modern society basically opposes almost everything the INFx embodies.
I totally agree with you on this!! It's depressing at times and that's when it's like "how does anyone ever get what life's about?" It just starts a whole tangent in the mind contemplating life and society... You know how it is 😅
Agreed
I agree. When trying to converse with someone you realize just how shallow some people are and not necessarily on purpose it's like they don't want to dig deep into any subject at all and it makes me wonder why they're not curious about everything
@@AnyaAnnika67 Replied to a pre covid era comment but anyway society is just done for anyone with a functioning mind.
I’m a introvert extrovert I start day daydreaming in the middle of a conversation
Bam that's me too! Reading a book and two pages later I realize I'm living in my own fantasy conversation and I have to go back and reread everything I wasn't listening to.
@@JoelNulphoh true that.
I constantly do that.
That's why I am never a fast reader.
😂
Me too. 🙂
an introverted extrovert is still an extrovert btw. maybe you meant extroverted introvert.
I feel the same! I feel like I am never living in reality at times. Always fleeting.
I’m laughing so hard about the debating righteously vs curling up into a ball. This is spot on about the shame!!
I have known I am INFJ for a while and it's made complete sense to me. But hearing you describe it in your point of view opposed to the usual "signs of" resonated so deeply in me. You spoke on so many things that I feel so much and that I have never heard in other videos. Thank you for sharing your story ❤️
Being an INFJ myself, I feel that it can be a blessing on most occassions and can be a curse on other times. I dunno know, maybe it's just me.
It used to drive me nuts when my mother used to tell me to do something and I'll ask why? hoping for an explanation and all you get is "because I say so!" 🙄
Yes I used to say why a lot to a point where my gran and mum used to get annoyed.
Me also. I felt like if I knew why something was done a certain way, it made it so much easier to do. Thankfully, I had a Mum who would explain.
Woah that resonates so much. I didn’t realize this was an infj thing.
we have a lot in common in the way we grew up... I excelled in music, sports and academics also, and most people I grew up around probably never knew me as introverted because I was a leader in all those areas... also, the best teaching I've heard, that made the most sense to me about the "feeling" aspect of INFJs is that we intuitively read other people and know how they're feeling because we feel what they feel, but not on an emotional level, it's more like we absorb their energy and it's automatic because of the way we're wired... I'm also like you in that I do a lot of thinking, so the "feeling" aspect is what tripped me up, as well... until I ran across the teaching about soaking up other people's energies, which drains us, hence, the need to have enough alone time to recharge...
To me, someone that's really emotional makes decisions based on emotions and exhibits their emotions a lot (like extroverts) and obviously, that's not INFJs... because we are all about intuition... and we intuitively know things, which is a whole other way of making your way through life, right? We don't try to figure things out so much as we intuitively know things... which I believe is why we come to resolution of problems over time and they just "come to us"
In fact, I now "catch myself" when I'm thinking too hard about something and just give it over to God, knowing He'll eventually show me what I need to know, and I just need to do what I know to do right now and it'll come to me... and it always does... it's amazing that way, yes?
I also don't like someone telling me what to do when it doesn't make sense... and authenticity is so important to me, as well, and so is being true to yourself... in fact, when I've been in toxic relationships, the thing that bothers me most is that I've been "forced" to betray my integrity in order to "keep peace" - I'm working my way through one right now.
I also grew up in an environment where I learned I couldn't trust myself... (because of a dysfunctional relationship with a sibling)... and you're right, it causes you to always wonder what's wrong with you, when the real question I should have asked myself is what's going on with this person that's causing me to question what I think, and makes me stuff everything whenever there's conflict... because the message I was always getting from this person was I'm wrong, or I have no right to express my opinion, so therefore, the only right response is to just shut up and forget about it. and you're right, this learned inability to trust yourself carries over into every aspect of your life. I also can't stand the status quo or the "hierarchy"...
Seeing the path forward and FOLLOWING it... is KEY!!! and NOT letting anybody talk us out of it.
ya, been there with the sibling. its brutal. it takes guts to face the raw truth about it. i think i always knew but i would make that trade off to be able to help her heal and have that closeness. people get very jealous and intimidated by us - hard for us to even understand as we don't tend to see people that way usually. i find sometimes i have to take the space and just pray for others instead of maintaining a relationship. pretty lonely, not what i would choose if i could change things. but it feels like this is our inherited struggle to move a heavy past in to a radically different future full of real potential.
I felt that giving it to God and trusting He will intuitively tell you what to do. I needed that today thank you. So much of what you said resonates. But for me I am the only girl out of 5 boys so I’ve always felt more like outsider my whole life…I find it extremely difficult to form close bonds with people but I love to have friends to go on adventures with or just to be social.
OMG! I’m an older woman old enough to be your mother and you taught me so much about myself that I needed to know but didn’t give myself time to do because I lived for others before myself. I am just beginning but I will get there.Thank you so much & Domo Arigato 😍🙏🏽😍